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You are here: Home / Why Are The Loudmouths Always the Kinksters?

Why Are The Loudmouths Always the Kinksters?

by @heymistermix.com|  November 21, 20109:25 am| 30 Comments

This post is in: Blatant Liars and the Lies They Tell

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The latest in a long line of examples:

A pastor who said Facebook was a “portal to infidelity” and told married church leaders to delete their accounts or resign once testified that he had a three-way sexual relationship with his wife and a male church assistant. […]

In court testimony he gave in April 2003, Miller said his wife had an extramarital affair with the church assistant. Miller said he participated in many of the sexual encounters and said the assistant’s wife was sometimes present, too.

Miller said the dalliances – which occurred in the Millers’ home – sometimes took place during Thursday Bible study meetings and Sundays after church. But the minister said the encounters “came to a crashing halt” when several women in the church accused the assistant of having sex with them.

I’m sure there are some megachurch fundamentalists who are quietly having extramarital affairs with an age-appropriate females, but it sure seems like those yelling the loudest are either closeted homosexuals or having three- and four-ways.

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Reader Interactions

30Comments

  1. 1.

    cmorenc

    November 21, 2010 at 9:30 am

    Who would know “portals to infidelity” best but an infidel who’s tasted enough of them to write a guidebook! Many people become intensely religious precisely because they are hyper-aware and afraid of the human sensual passions boiling inside them.

  2. 2.

    Linda Featheringill

    November 21, 2010 at 9:33 am

    My. The Church of Let’s-Get-It-On complains about FaceBook.

  3. 3.

    Poopyman

    November 21, 2010 at 9:34 am

    The better question would be “Why do the kinksters always feel they have to be loudmouths?” Not that I’m at all religious, but the passage about “when thou prayest” kind of indicates that the problem is a very old one.

  4. 4.

    Ross Hershberger

    November 21, 2010 at 9:45 am

    This makes no sense:

    several women in the church accused the assistant of having sex with them.

    Like they accused him of slandering them or stealing their credit cards. Isn’t ‘having sex’ pretty much a consensual thing? Either it’s assault or the participants are equally guilty.

  5. 5.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    November 21, 2010 at 9:50 am

    Hey, at least he is secure of his place in heaven for being a righteous dude! Sin yer ass off, apologize afterward and get your ‘Get out of hell free’ card. Sin again? Wash, rinse and repeat as necessary.

    Finally, to cover your bases be sure to make that last repentance right before kakking off!

    It seems that the louder they howl about something, the more likely it is that they are the ones who are doing that very thing. If they get caught at least they have a nice story for their ‘road to recovery’ afterward.

    Horny toads.

  6. 6.

    Nethead Jay

    November 21, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Because repression, puritanism and having an uptight attitude towards sexuality is still a widespread phenomenon. And this is a bad thing, as it is one of the factors driving the Culture Wars. If f we are to progrress as a society, one of the things that are needed is to work towards a much more open, non-judgmental and relaxed attitude with respect to our body and sexual matters.

  7. 7.

    Violet

    November 21, 2010 at 9:59 am

    I like how he blames Facebook. But it could ever be his fault.

  8. 8.

    SRW1

    November 21, 2010 at 10:00 am

    I think Poopyman has that right, the independent variable here is kinkster and the dependent one is loudmouth.

    Religionists are overrepresented in the loudmouth cohort because a) pronouncements in front of large numbers of people are an integral part of their job, and b) having to whack these demons past the point of exhaustion sooner or later will make everybody shout out “Take that, and that, and that”.

    Which kind of is the point of no return and things can only escalate until the hypocritical edifice comes crashing down. Then it’s off to a new business plan involving an emphasis on redemption. I’d bet that will feature prominently in pastor Miller’s communications to his flock.

  9. 9.

    Admiral_Komack

    November 21, 2010 at 10:02 am

    Ah, the laying on of hands…let us prey.

  10. 10.

    Nethead Jay

    November 21, 2010 at 10:14 am

    @Admiral_Komack: Hehehe, well played. Though I suspect more than hands was involved…

    Also, that assistant seems to have been quite the man-about-church.

  11. 11.

    matoko_chan

    November 21, 2010 at 10:14 am

    The correlation of prurience (conservative “bedroom sniffing” as Matt Taibbi styles it) and perversity is well documented in Kraft-Ebbings Psycopathia Sexualis.

  12. 12.

    Derelict

    November 21, 2010 at 10:26 am

    Well, now, all of this is certainly forgivable since no wetsuits and/or dildos were involved (at least that we know about to this point).

  13. 13.

    Hawes

    November 21, 2010 at 10:49 am

    @Derelict: Yes, with only three people and zero wetsuits, just too vanilla.

  14. 14.

    Melanie Morgon

    November 21, 2010 at 10:59 am

    @Nethead Jay:
    THIS.

  15. 15.

    jrg

    November 21, 2010 at 11:02 am

    I think the pastor has a point. If interoffice email was causing gang bangs to spontaneously break out in back in 2003, can you imagine what facebook is capable of?

  16. 16.

    manwith7talents

    November 21, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Man, I’ve been going to the wrong church.

  17. 17.

    lol

    November 21, 2010 at 11:17 am

    It’s called projection.

    The loudmouths have no self-control when it comes to their “vices” so they assume no one else has any self-control. And since they’re part of a religion that makes it near-impossible to process those feelings, they have to rail against the behavior that they assume everyone is doing. As a bonus, since they’re surrounded by filthy, filthy sinners, they can blame those sinners for corrupting them.

  18. 18.

    Julia Grey

    November 21, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Sheesh, my husband told me about this pastor carrying on about Facebook being a road into the, er, hellmouth, and I had a little snicker, but I didn’t hear The Rest of the Story.

  19. 19.

    Phoebe

    November 21, 2010 at 11:45 am

    If the husband/wife knows about it and is okay with it [never mind present], then it’s not infidelity.

  20. 20.

    bago

    November 21, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Hi. This is the year 2010 speaking. Women are no longer property, and sexual technology has become quite advanced. It makes this whole ‘family’ concept so much more consensual. This is a good thing. Enjoy the ‘hard’ work that so many people have ‘labored’ upon. Thanks.

  21. 21.

    LosGatosCA

    November 21, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    The folks who believe in redemption the loudest usually are the ones who need it the most.

  22. 22.

    Softail

    November 21, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    @Poopyman:
    Not fair. Some of us kinksters are fairly soft spoken ;-)

  23. 23.

    Damned at Random

    November 21, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    The only hookups I’ve made on Facebook have been to play Scrabble.

    I’m such a loser

  24. 24.

    J sub D

    November 21, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    I’m sure there are some megachurch fundamentalists who are quietly having extramarital affairs with an age-appropriate females, but it sure seems like those yelling the loudest are either closeted homosexuals or having three- and four-ways.

    Don’t forget the liaisons with sleazy streetwalkers in cheap motels.

  25. 25.

    WarMunchkin

    November 21, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    Um, as a point of technicality, is it extramarital if his wife participated in them too?

  26. 26.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    November 21, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Shouldn’t he be banning or threatening exile to anyone who comes to his church? I mean it was clearly a “portal of infidelity”.

  27. 27.

    LaMaestra

    November 21, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    Cue the anti-gay rants. That should distract the congregation!

  28. 28.

    SRW1

    November 21, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    @WarMunchkin:

    Um, as a point of technicality, is it extramarital if his wife participated in them too?

    You have obviously not been paying attention: According to the wisest of wise bible exegesists with the purest of pure Christian hearts, a marriage is between ONE man and ONE woman.

    And if I understood this correctly, then the active and passive seems to be inverted a bit: His wive appears to have engaged in the extracurricular activities with the assistant first, upon which the good pastor seems to have felt compelled to join in.

  29. 29.

    Anne Laurie

    November 21, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    @Ross Hershberger:
    __

    Isn’t ‘having sex’ pretty much a consensual thing? Either it’s assault or the participants are equally guilty.

    We differentiate between “lying to obtain sexual access” and “obtaining sexual access by force or threats of force”.

  30. 30.

    Lysana

    November 21, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    And for once, it’s a closeted bisexual. Not to mention a swinger.

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