Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

In my day, never was longer.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

No one could have predicted…

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Everybody saw this coming.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Let’s finish the job.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

This blog will pay for itself.

You are here: Home / Mittens Makes Shit Up

Mittens Makes Shit Up

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Apparently, Mitt Romney is back to just flat out making shit up, hoping upon hope that someone in the media stops reading Sarah Palin’s facebook page long enough to notice him:

Is this just a rehashing of discredited objections that Romney mindlessly repeats? Yes. For the umpteenth time, the preamble to the treaty is non-binding, and the preamble’s acknowledgment of a relationship between strategic arms and defense capabilities is a statement of the blindingly obvious that in no way impairs U.S. ability to pursue missile defense. Whatever the Russians are saying, the actual treaty doesn’t do what Romney says it will. It is telling that treaty opponents must rely on the rhetoric of Russian officials over the testimony of our military officers. As Romney has been corrected numerous times on this point, his persistence in this error is a bit strange.

The Republican primary for 2012 is not going to be like any political primary that we have ever seen before. It is going to be like a Season of bizarro Survivor, where your goal is to be crazier than everyone else on the island. I’m reminded of this excellent comment from 2008 (where JSF predicted this would happen, if you will note):

Seriously, the Republican nomination race in ‘08 was a metaphorical lineup of oiled posers at Venice Beach flexing for the lunatics passing by.

They are no longer just flexing. They’re biting the heads off chickens and swallowing swords, all while being treated seriously by the establishment media. Hell, the crazier and more dishonest they are, the more likely they are to get a column at the Washington Post.

Reader Interactions

86Comments

  1. 1.

    ruemara

    I can’t be surprised at this. Didn’t the 2010 midterms prove that this works? I doubt it will be successful in the general, when the average guy wakes up and realizes there’s a president quarterback to choose in this fantasy football league we call a country, but, it’s not like Republicans politicians understand that.

  2. 2.

    slag

    I love the fact that people are complaining about how all the new fpers are diluting the comment sections. Leave this blog to you in Galt mode, Cole, and we’ll end up with one comment per thread in no time.

  3. 3.

    kdaug

    Man, Cole, you are the worst off-grid activist ever.

    By my count, this is the fourth post since you signed off at 1:00.

  5. 5.

    Mark S.

    Missile defense. Ruskie-baiting. Mitt really has his finger on the pulse of nation.

    If his competition (as of now) weren’t so ludicrous, I’d say he has no chance of winning the nomination. But I do like his chances against Newt and Grizzly Mama.

  7. 7.

    kdaug

    @scav:

    arsenic, chromium, and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons

    Oops, forgot to hit Ctrl-C again:

    This and his mopping habits are his most endearing traits.

    That, and his feet. Don’t forget his beautiful feet.

  9. 9.

    J

    And we can only hope that that great blundering creature, the American electorate, will wake up for long enough to rub the sleep from its eyes and see in a dim way that whoever the prize-winning lunatic to emerge from the Republican competition is, he or she is perhaps not the best person for the job. I would feel more confident if that same electorate hadn’t just awarded a frighteningly large number of mini-loonies from an ever loonier party with seats in the house and senate, and this at a time when it was blindingly obvious–to borrow a phrase from the quotation about Mittens–that, for all their faults, Obama and the Democrats are the safer hands in which to put the fate of the nation.

  11. 11.

    scav

    @kdaug: Feet? Is John a hobbit or maybe I should ask are you both hobbits although maybe that latter is just a little too conventional. Anyway, I now want to know why your polycyclics smell so good and why some of them apparently have been in Mono Lake consorting with aliens.

  12. 12.

    Redshift

    Pretty much all of conservative politics these days is based on endlessly repeating things that have been clearly shown not to be true. The one thing that’s striking about Mittens is that he seems to be trying to do this one by himself, rather than as part of the chorus.

  13. 13.

    AhabTRuler

    Did anyone have any illusions left?

    I mean about Cole flooding the FP with fresh posts. The man is nothing if not predictable, in a charmingly unpredictable way, of course.

  14. 14.

    JC

    i STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND, and probably never will – how the press allows anyone to take about the ‘deficit’, and then pretend that the republicans are serious about the deficit, given they support deficit busting tax cuts.

    It is so obvious. Such a parlour game. Such a glaring pretense, and yet everyone seems to take it seriously.

    I just don’t get it.

    Three main contributors to debt:

    Medical care
    Wars and defense spending
    Tax cuts

    Fix those.

    Then remove the cap for social security.

    Easy. More than easy.

    Why doesn’t anyone who pretends to be concerned about the deficit on TV, ever told straight out by the anchors and interviewers, “You support deficit reduction, but then support tax cuts that increase the deficit by a trillion dollars. You are saying that a square circle exists, but this simply isn’t true. Are you lying, or that stupid?”.

  17. 17.

    penpen

    Hey sorry to keep reposting this little request, but this site moves fast, gotta keep up if you want some crowdsource assistance!

    I’ve got a quick question that I’m not sure where else to post. I thought there was a BJ post where John or DougJ or someone recounted a sort of “theory” of elections that they heard from a dude, that 90% of people had their minds made up and that it was the 10% of undecided voters, to busy to follow politics, who chose how to vote based on what candidate commercial they last saw, or which candidate’s face they liked, basically that those 10% of swing voters decided all elections.

    Can anyone remember where that post is or direct me to it? Thanks!

  19. 19.

    John O

    @JC:

    This falls under the “Ayn Rand was right about this” to me. Something like, “There are no contradictions. If you think you have a contradiction, check your premises.”

    Ergo, Big Media, Media Man, is in on the take. Which is obviously the case in terms of social status, and connections and in national cases, money.

  25. 25.

    JPL

    OMG… Romney lied. I’m shocked, just shocked.. In defense of Romney, I didn’t read the Start Treaty either but I’m not going to write an oped about it.

    BTW…I needed a break today and went to see Burlesque. The critics assessments were pretty accurate.

  26. 26.

    The Dangerman

    In the Department of making shit up, the Bush Tax Cuts has a grandfather clause that was enacted by Bush; how in the hell does letting that Bush Grandfather clause kick in make it a Obama Tax increase?

    Tomorrow should be fascinating.

  27. 27.

    Redshift

    @JC:

    Three main contributors to debt:

    Medical care
    Wars and defense spending
    Tax cuts

    Fix those.

    Then remove the cap for social security.

    Easy. More than easy.

    Yep. Well, I’d add one more — the bad economy. Listen to the economists who don’t work for wingnut welfare “think” tanks of Wall Street firms and understand that one-time stimulus spending doesn’t increase the long-term deficit, but a crappy economy does, and laugh at anyone who insists on doing the exact opposite (like the “deficit” commission.)

    Are you lying, or that stupid?”.

    A-men.

  28. 28.

    pragmatism

    @Turgidson:
    it would be irresponsible not to speculate. with crap like what he said above coming out of his suck hole, it must stink something fierce.

    but really i just think of that ralph quote every time someone calls him mittens.

  29. 29.

    Redshift

    @The Dangerman: As long as we’re in fantasy land, I’d love to see congresscritters giving deadpan responses to any “raising taxes” questions — “What do you mean? Republicans voted ten years ago to have taxes go up now. Look it up; their votes are on the bill, not ours. Why don’t you go ask them why they wanted to raise taxes?”

  30. 30.

    danimal

    For the record, following the link shows that JSF was referencing Dennis-SGMM regarding the GOP crazy-off.

    Just call me the backup ombudsman for the blog.

  32. 32.

    The Dangerman

    @Redshift:

    Why don’t you go ask them why they wanted to raise taxes?

    Yup; and they made this vote prior to 9/11, two wars, prior to the Housing Bubble bursting, etc….

    …and still they voted to raise taxes.

  33. 33.

    sukabi

    John, looks like your weekend hiatus from the blog isn’t working out so well… or is this an escape from the ADHD dogs? Not that I mind or anything, but 3 posts in a row after your declaration this morning? LOL, maybe it’s time for a 12 step program.

  34. 34.

    The Dangerman

    Since the bill passed the House, why can’t the Senate go the reconciliation route (i.e., fuck you and your Filibuster, Republicans) on the MC tax cut and revisit the issue in 10 years?

  35. 35.

    BC

    Why hasn’t anyone with any influence said, “let’s take a look at how we managed to get a surplus in the 1990s and do that” if they were really serious about the deficit? It’s like that was soooooo long ago that we couldn’t possibly do it again, when it was really only about 20 or so years ago. The catfood commission never mentioned the surplus that Bush had when he took office in Jan 2001. No one mentions that St. Alan Greenspan warned against paying down the debt too fast. Nary a word about Al Gore’s “lockbox” to protect Social Security. Did I dream that all that happened?

  39. 39.

    MikeBoyScout

    Between Banana Republican obstructionist insanity and wussified Democratic peace offerings and the catfood commission , we are getting ground in to dust.

  40. 40.

    JPL

    @Redshift: Romney passed HCR in Massachusetts and he has always portrayed himself as a moderate Republican. Now he has a dilemma moving to the right. Pretending to be a Foreign Policy expert allows him to do that. His base will not read the rebuttals so all he has to do and send out his multiple erroneous oped pieces to supporters and say look at me, I’m tough.

  41. 41.

    JPL

    @The Dangerman: The House has already voted on extension for unemployment, dadt, and tax cuts for the Middle Class. Why doesn’t Nancy just adjourn for the Holidays? Let the Senators sort it out. Every Democratic representative can tout their victories on local TV stations.

  42. 42.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    where JSF predicted this would happen, if you will note

    No, that was a link error by Xecky. It was Dennis, far smarter than I, who predicted the crazy-off. I have predicted elsewhere, many times, that Mitt Romney will get the 2012 nomination.

    And I would like to be addressed henceforth as Self-Appointed Balloon Juice Ombudsman Fuckhead (SABJOF).

  44. 44.

    Cat Lady

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    There’s the little matter of Snooki of the North. I’ve been a Mitt watcher since the beginning, and he and his magic underwear aren’t going to get the flying monkey vote. Na Ga Happen. He’s not going to be Snowbilly Snooki’s VP, and Snooki isn’t going to be second fiddle again either – so it’s him or her in the primaries. What’s he going to do?

  45. 45.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I should also note that Mitt Romney, who is actually a Republican, will be seen as someone who can control the crazy in the Republican party versus Obama who is apparently helpless in the face of it. I think that’s the way the election will break down.

  46. 46.

    Tonal Crow

    @JC:

    i STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND, and probably never will – how the press allows anyone to take about the ‘deficit’, and then pretend that the republicans are serious about the deficit, given they support deficit busting tax cuts. It is so obvious. Such a parlour game. Such a glaring pretense, and yet everyone seems to take it seriously.

    Look up the term “Big Lie”, then report back to us.

  48. 48.

    Chuck Butcher

    There are some here who are familiar with the tax code who could explain the “job creators” aspect of the GOP talking points. In short there are a lot of companies within wealth that exist to shelter things like yachts, race horses, etc from taxes. Their toys become businesses which eat money rather than generate income. S Corp can be quite useful…

  49. 49.

    Crazy Kale Lady

    @Just Some Fuckhead: I would like to go on record with my correction re. the egregious attribution error as I was FRIST. Of course I was tactful, and did it privately, (email date stamp 7:20 EST) pointing out that you had been Front Page credited with something you did not deserve. Because that was the most important part, of course.

    I especially liked that this was playing on DTV CoffeeHouse Rock 848 at that moment, so I was able to work this into my email title:
    “You’re so beautiful, when you’re wrong”.

    My email was ignored, which is probably going to cause me to go out and kill more of my own animals in my rage.
    Henceforth, you can just address me as CKL. That’s fine.

  53. 53.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Cat Lady: I think she’s a 3rd at best. You gotta remember McCain was loathed by a good portion of the Republican primary voters because he wasn’t considered a good Republican and yet he pulled off a win despite the fact he wasn’t the Jesus-approved candidate. I think Romney will win for the same reasons.

    I think Romney is the best Democrats can do on the Republican side. He’ll say a lot of dumb, crazy shit to ensure the nomination but he’s a cold hard pragmatist who won’t do crazy shit if elected.

  54. 54.

    JPL

    @Chuck Butcher: I imagine Sarah will tweet about Romney’s religious beliefs in flattering terms. Something like this “Why can’t the President talk about faith when Romney isn’t afraid to talk about his Mormon religion.”
    She’ll mention the word Mormon every chance she gets.

  55. 55.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Crazy Kale Lady: Obviously, I had no way of knowing you’d sent an email. I thought it was important that Dennis get the credit he deserves if for no other reason than he is a damn fine human being. Me? Not so much.

  56. 56.

    Gordon's wife

    @redshift #29

    I made that exact argument to someone recently and guess what the answer was: the sunset provisions put in there to get enough democrats to support tax cuts, therefore this is on the democrats…

  57. 57.

    Chuck Butcher

    @JPL:
    There are a lot of Mormons, but not nearly enough to make up for the appeal you mention. The funny thing is that compared to most GOP voters, both are outside the pale.

    I’ll be damned if I’d try to predict the GOP ’12 Primary, but it sure ought to be entertaining in a black sort of way.

  59. 59.

    Crazy Kale Lady

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Exactly!

    (Oh god. I feel the need to insert: “I kid because I love” here. I don’t even know how to comment on this damn site anymore in a relaxed manner. TOO STRESSFUL. GOING NOW!)

  61. 61.

    JPL

    @Chuck Butcher: Ah! Sarah will mention Mormon to insure she can lock up the evangelical vote. That is her base.

    Crazy Kale Lady… I thought it was funny. Keep it up.

  62. 62.

    Cat Lady

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I don’t think so. He’s going to have to feed the same resentments she does, but his heart isn’t in it. Her heart, guts and muscle is – that’s all she is and has, and that’s the fuel that powers the Republican base now. His only hope is to kneecap her, and I don’t think he can and still get the base out to vote for him. He has no passion, only ambition, and naked ambition without the ability to inflame won’t be enough. If Palin runs, it will be pig wrestling 24/7. Like they say, it makes you look bad, and the pig likes it.

  66. 66.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @JPL:

    Sarah will mention Mormon to insure she can lock up the evangelical vote.

    If the evangelical vote was all it took, McCain would have never gotten the nomination.

  67. 67.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @danimal: Back off asshole. You can have it when I do my dramatic GBCW.

    ETA: ED relinquished the title for some “critic” nonsense.

  70. 70.

    JPL

    @Just Some Fuckhead: The candidates were Huckabee, McCain, Romney and Paul. Am I forgetting anyone? Huckabee won significant support in early states because of his evangelical background. McCain had the party behind him and Romney and Paul were just left out in the cold. Correct me if I’m wrong but after Huckabee dropped out, McCain was able to garner the religious support simply because he a POW. Boy those were the good old days when the media reminded us 100 times a day about McCain being a POW.

  73. 73.

    Crazy Kale Lady

    @Just Some Fuckhead: You’re melting me.
    Um…can I have some time on this one? I’m rusty. If it did not have to do with the Xmas village train set on the downstairs, family room pool table, it surely had to do with mocking John. Was it that great one where you said he kills Republicans and eats them and then I fixed it for you and said he eats and kills Republicans? No?

    I do recall the first offline convo, of course, which had to do with BOB. I still have that in my archives, you know.

    (God. I feel like I’m attending some sort of surreal “My previous life as a BJ commenter” wake or something here.)

  74. 74.

    Jim, Once

    They are no longer just flexing. They’re biting the heads off chickens and swallowing swords, all while being treated seriously by the establishment media.

    This is the first time I’ve ever laughed out loud at one of your postings, John. Thanks so much for coming over to this side.

  77. 77.

    Mnemosyne

    @Gordon’s wife:

    I made that exact argument to someone recently and guess what the answer was: the sunset provisions put in there to get enough democrats to support tax cuts, therefore this is on the democrats…

    I’m assuming that if you point out that not a single Democrat voted for the cuts — which is why they used reconciliation to pass them — you’ll just get a blank stare like this.

  78. 78.

    Tonal Crow

    The Republicans will nominate Palin. Any other choice will cause the teabaggers to go all French-Revolutiony. Not that I would object to watching the guillotines fall, mind you.

  79. 79.

    Anne Laurie

    @Just Some Fuckhead:
    __

    I think Romney is the best Democrats can do on the Republican side. He’ll say a lot of dumb, crazy shit to ensure the nomination but he’s a cold hard pragmatist who won’t do crazy shit if elected.

    This assumes facts not in evidence. Willard says a lot of dumb, crazy shit because he has NO convictions beyond “I totally deserve to be President / Emperor / God-King, because I am Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney”. He’s got the same sort of half-smart low cunning as Snowflake Snooki, overlaid with a shite-ton of Rich White Suburban Mormon Privilege, but all his personal successes have come as a result of happily assuming a figurehead position where his handlers (vulture capitalists, politicos, and other high-dollar professional thieves) use him to distract his fellow Mormon ‘stakeholders’ or low-information voters. If those same handlers told him that nuclear winter, global annihilation, or turning all Americans reporting an income of less than $250k per annum into soylent green… Willard would happily push the button, release the virus, or sign the “Nutrition Enhancement Program”. Especially if he were permitted to do it live on television.

    My personal hope is that Palin and Romney, since they have so much in common, won’t be able to resist attempting to destroy each other even if it means losing the primaries.

  80. 80.

    Lolis

    I like that Mittens called Sarah Palin attractive. This is a pretty good strategy against her, give her many compliments on things like charisma and appearance. She is way too vain to object and the voters will get the underlying message.

  81. 81.

    Anne Laurie

    @BGK:

    What is the male equivalent of the “crazy cat lady?”

    The guys from Deliverance or Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

  83. 83.

    alwhite

    And won’t it be most wonderful when that batshit crazy asshole beats Obama? Come on, you know he (or she but my money is still on the Wasilla hillbilly finding an excuse so as to not interfere with her grifting) will win.
    Why?
    Because the Blew Dogs will help the Republicans block progress on the economy.
    Because the administration is dead set on giving away the store before negotiation even begin so that he can get Broder’s bipartisan love.
    Because the big money will smell weakness and go big for the Republican early.
    Because the media will continue to convince the Dems that bad ideas the majority of Americans hate (see tax cut for incomes above 250k) are what is needed.

  85. 85.

    RadioOne

    I think most of the 2008 GOP primary craziness was because almost all of the candidates double-downed on George W Bush’s policies in hopes of rallying the GOP primary base, whom they figured wanted a return to Bush policies but with a fresh new face. Oddly enough, they went with a traditional Washington media favorite, John McCain, basically because they felt they had a better shot with him at winning battles during the daily cable news cycle. I think that will likely prove to be the case again with 2012 GOP primary voters regarding the Presidential election.

    I mean, if the economy still sucks, all bets are off. More likely, and I see Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich sending me eye daggers as I write this, I expect the GOP base will pick a Presidential nominee that will be mostly acceptable within the contours of the “lamestream media”.

  86. 86.

    luc

    John,
    the GOP geniuses are provoking you to write some pretty wonderful prose. I will have to collect these metaphors.

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