Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

He really is that stupid.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

After roe, women are no longer free.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Let there be snark.

You are here: Home / Sports / When In Doubt, Insert

When In Doubt, Insert

by | 45 Comments

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I’m no expert on high school wrestling, but somehow I doubt that sticking your finger in the other guy’s anus is a legal move, as this coach argues:

Encino’s Crespi Carmelite High School wrestling coach Mike Odman says the butt drag is a legal move, but he would never teach his students to penetrate an opponent with their fingers.

“There’s nothing in wrestling tactics that would say when in doubt, insert,” Odman said. “That never comes into play.”

I always liked ABC’s Wide Word of Sports, so, in that spirit, I’ll add a link to an article on the storied history of pants-pooping in sports to this post.

(via here and here)

Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    cleek

    oh great, yet another legal tactic which Obama has failed to use!

    if i were President, the GOP would be walking around in chain mail Underoos, terrified of my uncompromising Bully Finger!

    err…uh…

  2. 2.

    Trueblood

    I wrestled for a prominent program in high school, and there is definitely a move called the butt drag, and kids definitely used it. As a denizen of the higher weight classes I didn’t see it, I was trying not to get smushed by a 275lb hick.

  6. 6.

    lushboi

    One of the guys on our team, Ed, took laxatives to make his weight prior to a match. After a, shall we say, explosive match he was forever known as Ed-lax.

  10. 10.

    Bobby Thomson

    Don’t watch much high school wrestling, huh?

    That stuff makes what happens in football pileons look tame.

  12. 12.

    S. cerevisiae

    OK, Thank you for this. I have been seriously depressed today and you may have saved my life. Thanks.

    I am not bullshitting.

  16. 16.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Don’t let them kid you, that’s how they insert the microchips.

    Gettin er done early, the better to track you with.

  17. 17.

    Ross Hershberger

    Oh, thanks. Tomorrow the high school where I’ll be working hosts a wrestling tournament for 16 schools. Why couldn’t it have been cheerleaders?

  19. 19.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    OT: The GOP base speaks:

    Cathy Freeman, a 64-year-old Republican and retired bookkeeper from Waco, Texas, said the deficit should be addressed by ending tax breaks for the wealthy and corporations, not slashing the entitlement programs her family relies on.

    And let us not forget those fabulous Tea Party animals:

    A majority of 72 percent [of all respondents] also opposes reducing benefits for the Medicaid health program for the poor. This is true even of Tea Party supporters who have built a movement around smaller government, with 66 percent against reducing Medicaid benefits.

  21. 21.

    debit

    @jharp: When I was a kid, during the summers I’d ride along with my dad who was an over the road trucker. Just FYI, if you don’t have iron bowels and and iron bladder, do not become a trucker. And if your kids don’t have the same, for the love of god, don’t bring them along. I’m just saying.

  25. 25.

    Hawes

    I coach wrestling.

    Yeah, the butt drag, which I used to call “checking his oil” until I decided that wasn’t going to get homopanicky adolescents to use the move, is a practical move.

    I tried to impress upon them that it was more about grabbing the tail-bone, because they’re much more likely to grab another guy’s coccyx.

    Wait…

  27. 27.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    I suppose this could be called the first digital wrestling.

    @Hawes:

    grabbing the tail-bone

    Oh that. I remember that move from high school wrestling.

    Hell, we use that just to say hello, in Paris.

    The description here made it sound like something involving disrobing and lubricants.

    That’s of course only for saying goodbye, here.

  28. 28.

    Ross Hershberger

    I wrestled in school and I never heard of that maneuver. If someone had tried it the match would have ended in seconds with a black eye and a disqualification.

  29. 29.

    Paul in KY

    If the move is legal, it should be made illegal. I wonder if it is legal in Olympic freestyle wrestling?

  30. 30.

    terraformer

    back in junior high school (early 80s), I recall one of the “early blooming” (read: muscular) boys, a rather large african-american fellow, who ran like the wind. He once raced a fellow from another school, and during the sprint he shat a load for the ages such that his derrier appeared as a sack of potatoes.

    On returning to the locker room, he entered, looked at each of us with a thousand-mile stare, and said “If ANY of you motherfuckers tells ANYONE about this, I am going to kick your motherfucking ass.”

    Even though that was so long ago, I hope he isn’t reading this and also doesn’t have a skill for IP sniffing.

  34. 34.

    Bridgier

    So, we had a kid who lost in the state finals my junior year. He came back up into the stands and said “That guy’s a queer. I was checking his oil up to my second knuckle, and he still wouldn’t turn over”

    But yeah, it’s supposed to be applied to the bundle of nerves right under the tailbone.

  35. 35.

    shecky

    Wrestling always made me uneasy, like two guys fighting to see which one will get to mount the other. So I never participated. I had wondered if not showering two or three days prior to a match would endow any special advantages on a wrestler.

    Interestingly, at my son’s jr high, wrestling is coed sport. Could you imagine legal/media frenzy that might ensue if it was a girl that had been penetrated?

  36. 36.

    Bridgier

    @shecky:
    “Okay, it looks like she’s leaving the high crotch open, so I want you to to put one in nice and deep. Maybe look for a t-bar if you can get behind her. If she flattens out, check her oil and give her a saturday night ride. If that doesn’t… why are you laughing? This is serious here.”

  39. 39.

    Amir_Khalid

    ABC doesn’t say what code of wrestling they have at that school. If it was Greco-Roman, which does indeed forbid holds below the waist, then fingers up the jacksy are clearly illegal.

    One thing bothers me about how the story was reported. I figure ABC, like news organizations the world over, has a policy of not reporting the names of victims of (alleged or confirmed) sexual assault, to protect them from the humiliation — and worse — that such victims are often subjected to. Presumably this is why the injured boy is not named.

    However, ABC did identify him: it tells us that he is the 15-year-old son of a man it does name, one Ross Rice of Fresno, California, and that Rice Jr. goes to Buchanan High School.

    The newspaper where I worked used to do this when reporting on (for instance) fathers accused of raping their daughters, until a reporter raised this point.

  43. 43.

    liberty60

    I attended a Carmelite-run parish not 5 miles from Crespi, and was good friends with a Carmelite novitiate there.
    According to him- and my experience, a majority of Carmelites are gay.

    Given that, and the 600 million dollar payout by the Archdiocese of LA to victims of decades of pedophile priests on young men, I wonder why any Catholic coach or official would go around promoting fingers in young boys’ rectums.

    I mean, c’mon.

  44. 44.

    Batocchio

    I wrestled in high school, and sure don’t remember that one – but other folks upthread apparently have heard of it. Accidental contact is one thing, but the allegation is that it was intentional and prolonged in this case, and a nasty type of bullying.

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