Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

So many bastards, so little time.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

Bark louder, little dog.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

The lights are all blinking red.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

People are complicated. Love is not.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

You are here: Home / We Are All Gay Now

Reader Interactions

66Comments

  4. 4.

    Phyllis

    That’s just jaw-droppingly hilarious and frightening at the same time. Unfortunately, there are a lot of ‘faithful’ women out there who will read this and think they’re married to teh gay.

    I was thankful my late husband was particular about a clean house. Particularly since he did most of the cleaning. And he used sunscreen and moisturizer on his almost painfully dry face. OHMIGOD!

  5. 5.

    joe from Lowell

    If there is a sudden interest in sodomy, sadomasochism, lubricants, role-play, sex toys or other non-traditional intercourse methods, this is clearly an indication of deep emotional abnormalities.

    Oh, clearly. Normal men don’t ever want to try anything different in bed, ever. Clearly.

  7. 7.

    Anya

    OMG, my fiancé is definitely gay! I checked 6 of the points in the list. To be honest, # 4 is only true because I am a slob.

  12. 12.

    Rekster

    I’m sure that many of the ‘nuts who think Stephen Colbert is a real conservative also believe that is a real site!

  14. 14.

    mr. whipple

    Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell. Homosexuals often abhor this sort of thing and will also be incredibly particular about the cleanliness of the home. Does your man tweeze his eyebrows, trim his pubic hairs or use face moisturizers? Is he picky about brand name shampoos? Does he spend more time getting ready for a night out than you do?

    LOL.

  15. 15.

    Anya

    I am watching Morning Joe and it’s really really bad. Is it usually this bad? I just wanted to watch today to see their reaction. Scarborough is a sarcastic asshole, Mika is an idiot and I am yet to hear from charles Blow. They should call it Morning Torture.

  17. 17.

    MattR

    I love the fact that the editors of the site don’t even know who the author of the “Is my husband gay” piece really is. According to the NY Times article that abo gato linked to, all they know is that he is in NYC. I hope if it is one of my friends that they would have let me in on the secret by now.

  18. 18.

    Cat Lady

    @Anya:

    Is it usually this bad?

    Yes.

    Add Tina Brown and Jon Meacham, and you’ll wish you could call in an airstrike. That much smugness in one place should be illegal.

  19. 19.

    DBrown

    See, God is VERY stupid – how do I know? Well, just follow these loon’s idea’s that God is forced to follow human imposed dates (by pagans, no less); 2012 was created by humans based on celestial data and low and behold God will deliver the goods since humans set a time that God must obey.

    It’s like the beyond stupid God that had to write in the Heavens (i.e. stars) that the savior was being born on a given day so some crazy king could commit mass murder by butchering large numbers of babies – I mean, what was God to do? Being so stupid is required – tell little piss ass losers that they need to be on their guard because God is forced to write all details in the stars so humans can create artificial dates so God can deliver the goods – if many innocent children die, well so what? God had no idea that might occur (like God doesn’t know the future) so don’t blame God. It was the humans and their damn required dates … .

    Or maybe some of the bible is totally full of shit and asswipe people just have to add bullshit.

  22. 22.

    Anya

    @Cat Lady: I don’t think conservatives watch it, I really doubt that liberals watch it, so who are their audience?

    On a related issue, Scarborough kept bringing up Dana Milbank’s column, so I wanted to check what Mr. humor had to say. Shorter Milbank: Obama is smug and the press was fawning. His proof, he had a list of journalists prefacing their question with a happy holiday and christmas greeting. I didn’t think they were particularly fawning but I thought they treated him like a winner, so they asked slightly better questions. I actually thought Jake Taber’s question was good.

  24. 24.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    @Anya:

    so who are their audience?

    Mark Halperin’s famed Gang of 500. They are the only people that matter after all.

  25. 25.

    Cat Lady

    @Anya:

    Their audience is each other and the Village. That set is a Villager cocktail party without the cocktails and weenies and vicious personal gossip. The conventional wisdom is reinforced, and depending on the day, if its on one of their “good” days, it may even get made on that set. Why do you think they sit in a circle? It makes circle jerking so much easier.

  34. 34.

    Suffern ACE

    @Comrade Javamanphil: I like how he takes a jab that the president’s tie coordinated with the curtains.

    I seem to remember a few posters here yesterday stating that the President gave a good speech yesterday and had a good press conference. Notice how much of that speech got filtered away so that Dana Milbank could grouse about the tie.

  35. 35.

    timb

    Still, as a kid who grew up in a fundamentalist church and attended a Baptist church as an adult, Christwire is scary and funny because it is JUST a little hyperbolic. Some parts of that list will be spoken by any preacher in America this weekend

  36. 36.

    Sly

    I’m surprised the article or its comments don’t mention Harold Camping, the the guy who came up with and is largely responsible for popularizing the notion that Rapture will occur on 5/21/2011, nor that the bulk of American evangelicals think he’s a crackpot at best and the Antichrist at worst. Which is pretty difficult to understand given his incontrovertible proof.

    CliffsNotes Version:

    1) God told Noah that he was going to destroy the world in seven days.
    2) God wrote in the Bible that one day is as a thousand years to him.
    3) The Flood occurred on the 17th day of the second month of the liturgical calendar (April/May) because it says so in the Bible. The year of the flood was 4990 B.C. This is not in the Bible, so how do I know this? Because!
    4) -4990 + 7000 = 2010
    5) But wait! You have to add a year because there was no “Year Zero”
    6) -4990 + 7000 + 1 = 2011!
    7 By carefully translating the liturgical calendar into the Gregorian calendar, I’ve discerned that 7000 years after “the 17th day of the second month” is May 21st!
    8) Don’t forget to bring a towel!

  38. 38.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    @Sly:

    8) Don’t forget to bring a towel!

    I’m a hoopy frood who always knows where his towel is. Rapture? Bring It!

  41. 41.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Sly:

    I’ll say this for his site. A least he doesn’t use bizarre color or blink tags on his page.

  44. 44.

    Jay C

    @Sly:

    Great – veeeeery convincing; especially the “incontrovertible math” part!

    Reminds me of the story of another dude who was good with Biblical math (though back in the 19th C. they didn’t have calculators to check the figures, or billboards to advertise on, poor sods) – and how HIS sure-fire “calculations of the Second Coming” worked out.

    However, unlike the Millerites, we nowadays will have live video feeds, Twitter, liveblogging, etc. to get a real-time handle on our version of the Great Disappointment – though like them, I’m sure that May 22 will be occupied with a great deal of hasty recalculation: and that Armageddon WILL be happening – just re-scheduled…..

  45. 45.

    Ross Hershberger

    This may be fake but it’s representative. There are quizzes you can take online to determine if your hubby is gay. I took one. It says I’m hetero but should pray more.

  48. 48.

    Shalimar

    @Sly: From the proof:

    Therefore, with the correct understanding that the seven days referred to in Genesis 7:4 can be understood as 7,000 years, we learn that when God told Noah there were seven days to escape worldwide destruction, He was also telling the world there would be exactly 7,000 years (one day is as 1,000 years) to escape the wrath of God that would come when He destroys the world on Judgment Day.

    No, that doesn’t make any fucking sense at all. He was telling Noah it would rain in 7 days. And it rained in 7 days. This 7000 years thing is made up straight out of fantasy insanity land.

    eta: Maybe this guy thinks God is really Leo Strauss in disguise, and there is hidden evil meaning behind every seemingly helpful statement?

  51. 51.

    Ross Hershberger

    I was just reading up on the theories of the historical deluge that’s recorded by so many cultures. They’re pretty sure one or more catastrophic floods happened (see Gilgamesh) but nobody’s sure of the details.

    Is Josh Marshall trolling us? He says Lieberman may run as a Dem again.

  52. 52.

    Beth in VA

    That first link, to Christwire, is very weird–it may be a joke, I can’t tell. From that page I found this page that talks about how Emma Watson clearly shows the gay agenda. It must be a joke?? Are they serious? Here’s a sample of the text:

    The fire in the back obviously symbolizes hell but what everyone may miss is that Emma Watson is nothing but a starter log. For a boy, she’ll cause his twiddle to ignite with sin and then from there a life of drugs, prostitution and then death.

    The comments are hilarious.

  53. 53.

    NobodySpecial

    @Ross Hershberger: If he does, I’m sure Cole and the gang will be right there tut-tutting if ‘Teh Left’ tries to run a primary against him, because it’s the wrong thing to do.

  54. 54.

    Ross Hershberger

    Joe’s got to have huge negatives by now. Why do they keep sending him back? Get another state to lend them a Senator and pension that guy off.

  57. 57.

    Left Coast Tom

    I’m guessing the nut with the white Subie got her ideas from This Place. She’s going to have fun taking her car into a paint shop on May 22.

    Edit: Oops, looks like Sly beat me to this.

  59. 59.

    NonyNony

    @Shalimar:

    No, that doesn’t make any fucking sense at all. He was telling Noah it would rain in 7 days. And it rained in 7 days. This 7000 years thing is made up straight out of fantasy insanity land.

    Have you ever read how the various Rapture Prophecy kooks out there justify their mythology? They torture the books of Daniel and Isaiah in very similar ways to tease out the numbers they need to make their “prophecies” work.

    This crap goes way back. The modern nutjobs are just doing what folks like the Seventh Day Adventists and the Jehovah’s Witnesses were doing before them. And teasing fake prophecies out of Jewish books goes back to the birth of Christianity.

  61. 61.

    Amir_Khalid

    @Beth in VA: Yes, it’s a joke. Christwire is a spoof site, as noted upthread — the New York Times did a story on them a while back — and as part of the spoof, they strenuously deny being a spoof. It seems there are people, not in on the joke, who think they’re for reals, just as there are rightwingers who think “Stephen Colbert” really is one of them.

  62. 62.

    David in NYC

    Gay men don’t need words to communicate their availability for sex “hook ups.” They silently broadcast the news by showing off their lean, hard bodies in designer clothing labels.

    If it’s not a spoof site, Harvey Fierstein must be feeling really bad right now.

  63. 63.

    Southern Beale

    The Rapture is NOT in the Bible, people. Barbara Rossing wrote an excellent book called The Rapture Exposed which discusses the entire hoax.

    All sorts of stuff is not in the Bible. I love to tell people that there are no “three wise men,” nor is the entire nativity scene which fundies like to fight over in the Bible either. Humans have built their own narrative around what is in the Scripture which has become so culturally ingrained that no one bothers to think about what is and is not actually in there.

    I wrote about it last year: Things That Aren’t In The Bible: Holiday Edition.

  64. 64.

    Sly

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I’ll say this for his site. A least he doesn’t use bizarre color or blink tags on his page.

    Two more positive things:

    1) He also has a radio call-in show that’s usually on late at night. His voice could put a hyperactive kid on a five hour coke binder to sleep. The broadcast should have periodic interrupts warning people not to listen to it while driving, but it works absolute wonders for insomnia.

    2) You get the occasional mainstream fundy caller every once in a while saying how he’s really working for Satan and whatnot, and they get into a whole big argument about it. That is almost always great fun to hear. Especially when they bring up the fact that he made the same Rapture prediction about September of 1994. Though, incidentally, that was the same month that the assault weapons ban went into effect, which was regarded by many as the apocalypse.

  65. 65.

    oklahomo

    Is this why Scalia refused to answer that NYU student who asked him “Do you sodomize your wife?”

  66. 66.

    paul gottlieb

    I can’t believe they left the most critical question off the checklist: Is your husband a Republican legislator?

Comments are closed.