Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

This fight is for everything.

If you’re gonna whine, it’s time to resign!

Stay strong, because they are weak.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

“I was told there would be no fact checking.”

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

So fucking stupid, and still doing a tremendous amount of damage.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

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Reader Interactions

26Comments

  3. 3.

    PurpleGirl

    Read only a few of the comments but I really liked this one:

    “I go to restaurant websites for the ambiance.”

  5. 5.

    Violet

    Whoever created this must have been reading my mind. One of my favorites:

    “I hope the phone number and address are actually images so I can’t copy and paste them!”

    Yeah, no kidding. Why do restaurants do this? Very occasionally I run across a good restaurant website, but mostly they’re so awful as to be practically useless. How hard is it to create a usable, useful website?

  6. 6.

    MikeJ

    @Violet: Very, very hard indeed if you have to get buy in from the marketing department. This isn’t limited to restaurants. There are fucking morons in every business who only exist to screw everything up.

  7. 7.

    Athenae

    @Violet:

    It’s really hard, when you’ve hired your idiot cousin’s kid who has convinced you he’s a web genius because he has dragon pictures on his Angelfire page.

    For serious, the number of scammers out there who are convincing people they can’t use one of a billion template systems to create something easy because it’s so much COOLER to have a custom site you can’t update and requires weeks of training to operate is immense.

    When my work’s web site needed updating I made sure to use something so simple a monkey could learn it in ten minutes and not to overly mystify it. The only reason to make putting up a web site for something like a restaurant sound like rocket science is to get money out of the owners. I have more respect for the fine upstanding Americans who rob liquor stores.

    A.

  8. 8.

    WereBear

    @Athenae: Ramen! (The prayer of the Pastafarian.)

    But yes, every web designer lives in dread of the “my nephew can design my site” syndrome.

    Sucking money from professionals to give to incompetent amateurs in the mistaken belief they are saving money… the American Way!

  10. 10.

    Violet

    @MikeJ:
    Well, yeah, sure, there are morons everywhere. But restaurants have a few key pieces of information that people go to the restaurant website to get: Location, phone number, hours, menu and hopefully online reservations. That’s really about it. Every restaurant should make sure that information is easily available and, in the case of the contact info, it should be copy/paste-able. The large majority do not make this information easily accessible and it’s baffling why not.

    @WereBear:
    For some reason, even restaurant websites designed by what is apparently a website design professional are often crap. I blame the restaurant owner for probably requesting unnecessary bells and whistles. The designer at some point probably just gives in. It’s a pet peeve of mine and I guess I’m not alone since someone created this Tumblr.

  11. 11.

    gogol's wife

    My brother sent me this one:

    “Cheburechnaya is at the heart of Queens, which features twelve hundred square feet of specious dining area with over thirty tables.”

  13. 13.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    I’ve learned from experience to expect the hours to be listed under “Contact Us.” I’ve also learned that “Menu items listed are representative; today’s menu may vary depending on seasonal availability” should be translated as, “This is what we served three years ago when the local newspapers restaurant reviewer was in here, but the chef has completely changed his ‘vision’ and we haven’t served it since so stop asking us about it.”

  16. 16.

    azlib

    I knew the web was in trouble when the graphics designers got involved in the process and had to make everything “purty”. One of my pet website peeves is sites that insist on being a specific size and resolution. Looking at an 800×600 pixel site on a 1600×1280 monitor is always a treat.

    And sites that treat you to a Flash show with sound on the home page are just plain annoying.

  17. 17.

    gypsy howell

    @gogol’s wife:

    Ha! I thought you might be kidding. But wait! There’s more!

    News Cheburechnaya is proud to announce that the expansion of the restaurant continues. By end of September the restaurant will be expended to an extra six hundred and fifty square feet. This will add yet more room to an already specious Queens own Cheburechnaya!

    (I do feel pretty sucky making fun of someone’s english though — as if I could ever learn to speak Russian, or Tajik, or whatever language that is. Click on the menu page!)

  18. 18.

    MikeJ

    @Athenae:

    The only reason to make putting up a web site for something like a restaurant sound like rocket science is to get money out of the owners. I have more respect for the fine upstanding Americans who rob liquor stores.

    In the days of the dotcom boom, we referred to it as selling shovels to the prospectors. Everybody thought they were going to make a fortune on teh web. The people that made money were the ones who convinced them they needed the right tools, the right tools being the ones I’ve got right here.

  20. 20.

    gogol's wife

    @gypsy howell:

    It’s Russian, but the restaurant is Uzbek, I guess. But there are lots of English speakers in Queens who could proofread for them. Still, I like it this way!

  21. 21.

    Neddie Jingo

    @azlib:

    And sites that treat you to a Flash show with sound on the home page are just plain annoying.

    But-but-but… You gotta establish the om-bee-yonce! It’s like the opening credits in a movie, see?

    The two most baleful words in Internet history: Skip Intro.

  23. 23.

    Eric S

    A friend of mine works in the front office of a famous restaurant group here in Chicago. Their website offends multiple of these “rules.” I forwarded it on to him. I’m curious to see what he says and if there is any reaction in his office.

  25. 25.

    graz

    @djheru:
    Nice work! Enticing and appetizing pics and storylines. Info (phone, address, etc.) at the bottom of every page, facebook linkage for updates and daily specials, easy access menus, etc…

    That design overcomes all the criticisms of the typical restaurant website.

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