Whoever created this must have been reading my mind. One of my favorites:
“I hope the phone number and address are actually images so I can’t copy and paste them!”
Yeah, no kidding. Why do restaurants do this? Very occasionally I run across a good restaurant website, but mostly they’re so awful as to be practically useless. How hard is it to create a usable, useful website?
6.
MikeJ
@Violet: Very, very hard indeed if you have to get buy in from the marketing department. This isn’t limited to restaurants. There are fucking morons in every business who only exist to screw everything up.
It’s really hard, when you’ve hired your idiot cousin’s kid who has convinced you he’s a web genius because he has dragon pictures on his Angelfire page.
For serious, the number of scammers out there who are convincing people they can’t use one of a billion template systems to create something easy because it’s so much COOLER to have a custom site you can’t update and requires weeks of training to operate is immense.
When my work’s web site needed updating I made sure to use something so simple a monkey could learn it in ten minutes and not to overly mystify it. The only reason to make putting up a web site for something like a restaurant sound like rocket science is to get money out of the owners. I have more respect for the fine upstanding Americans who rob liquor stores.
As a food & bev pro, I’m especially LMFAO’ing. :-)
10.
Violet
@MikeJ:
Well, yeah, sure, there are morons everywhere. But restaurants have a few key pieces of information that people go to the restaurant website to get: Location, phone number, hours, menu and hopefully online reservations. That’s really about it. Every restaurant should make sure that information is easily available and, in the case of the contact info, it should be copy/paste-able. The large majority do not make this information easily accessible and it’s baffling why not.
@WereBear:
For some reason, even restaurant websites designed by what is apparently a website design professional are often crap. I blame the restaurant owner for probably requesting unnecessary bells and whistles. The designer at some point probably just gives in. It’s a pet peeve of mine and I guess I’m not alone since someone created this Tumblr.
11.
gogol's wife
My brother sent me this one:
“Cheburechnaya is at the heart of Queens, which features twelve hundred square feet of specious dining area with over thirty tables.”
12.
eemom
I like the commentariat. “No carbon-based life form.” Tee hee.
13.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
I’ve learned from experience to expect the hours to be listed under “Contact Us.” I’ve also learned that “Menu items listed are representative; today’s menu may vary depending on seasonal availability” should be translated as, “This is what we served three years ago when the local newspapers restaurant reviewer was in here, but the chef has completely changed his ‘vision’ and we haven’t served it since so stop asking us about it.”
Yep.
Looks like every bitch I have ever had about a restaurant website is there.
16.
azlib
I knew the web was in trouble when the graphics designers got involved in the process and had to make everything “purty”. One of my pet website peeves is sites that insist on being a specific size and resolution. Looking at an 800×600 pixel site on a 1600×1280 monitor is always a treat.
And sites that treat you to a Flash show with sound on the home page are just plain annoying.
Ha! I thought you might be kidding. But wait! There’s more!
News Cheburechnaya is proud to announce that the expansion of the restaurant continues. By end of September the restaurant will be expended to an extra six hundred and fifty square feet. This will add yet more room to an already specious Queens own Cheburechnaya!
(I do feel pretty sucky making fun of someone’s english though — as if I could ever learn to speak Russian, or Tajik, or whatever language that is. Click on the menu page!)
The only reason to make putting up a web site for something like a restaurant sound like rocket science is to get money out of the owners. I have more respect for the fine upstanding Americans who rob liquor stores.
In the days of the dotcom boom, we referred to it as selling shovels to the prospectors. Everybody thought they were going to make a fortune on teh web. The people that made money were the ones who convinced them they needed the right tools, the right tools being the ones I’ve got right here.
It’s Russian, but the restaurant is Uzbek, I guess. But there are lots of English speakers in Queens who could proofread for them. Still, I like it this way!
A friend of mine works in the front office of a famous restaurant group here in Chicago. Their website offends multiple of these “rules.” I forwarded it on to him. I’m curious to see what he says and if there is any reaction in his office.
24.
sluggo
@Neddie Jingo: OMG Neddie, that’s not really you coding all of those god-awful things is it? how it must have damaged you…
25.
graz
@djheru:
Nice work! Enticing and appetizing pics and storylines. Info (phone, address, etc.) at the bottom of every page, facebook linkage for updates and daily specials, easy access menus, etc…
That design overcomes all the criticisms of the typical restaurant website.
Maude
The ambience comment is good.
Happy new year to you mistermix.
bk
Ahh, another reader of Serious Eats!
PurpleGirl
Read only a few of the comments but I really liked this one:
BDR
Deliberate Liz Phair allusion in the title?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCP-UIs2kpM
I remember when Liz Phair was awesome.
Violet
Whoever created this must have been reading my mind. One of my favorites:
Yeah, no kidding. Why do restaurants do this? Very occasionally I run across a good restaurant website, but mostly they’re so awful as to be practically useless. How hard is it to create a usable, useful website?
MikeJ
@Violet: Very, very hard indeed if you have to get buy in from the marketing department. This isn’t limited to restaurants. There are fucking morons in every business who only exist to screw everything up.
Athenae
@Violet:
It’s really hard, when you’ve hired your idiot cousin’s kid who has convinced you he’s a web genius because he has dragon pictures on his Angelfire page.
For serious, the number of scammers out there who are convincing people they can’t use one of a billion template systems to create something easy because it’s so much COOLER to have a custom site you can’t update and requires weeks of training to operate is immense.
When my work’s web site needed updating I made sure to use something so simple a monkey could learn it in ten minutes and not to overly mystify it. The only reason to make putting up a web site for something like a restaurant sound like rocket science is to get money out of the owners. I have more respect for the fine upstanding Americans who rob liquor stores.
A.
WereBear
@Athenae: Ramen! (The prayer of the Pastafarian.)
But yes, every web designer lives in dread of the “my nephew can design my site” syndrome.
Sucking money from professionals to give to incompetent amateurs in the mistaken belief they are saving money… the American Way!
JenJen
As a food & bev pro, I’m especially LMFAO’ing. :-)
Violet
@MikeJ:
Well, yeah, sure, there are morons everywhere. But restaurants have a few key pieces of information that people go to the restaurant website to get: Location, phone number, hours, menu and hopefully online reservations. That’s really about it. Every restaurant should make sure that information is easily available and, in the case of the contact info, it should be copy/paste-able. The large majority do not make this information easily accessible and it’s baffling why not.
@WereBear:
For some reason, even restaurant websites designed by what is apparently a website design professional are often crap. I blame the restaurant owner for probably requesting unnecessary bells and whistles. The designer at some point probably just gives in. It’s a pet peeve of mine and I guess I’m not alone since someone created this Tumblr.
gogol's wife
My brother sent me this one:
“Cheburechnaya is at the heart of Queens, which features twelve hundred square feet of specious dining area with over thirty tables.”
eemom
I like the commentariat. “No carbon-based life form.” Tee hee.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
I’ve learned from experience to expect the hours to be listed under “Contact Us.” I’ve also learned that “Menu items listed are representative; today’s menu may vary depending on seasonal availability” should be translated as, “This is what we served three years ago when the local newspapers restaurant reviewer was in here, but the chef has completely changed his ‘vision’ and we haven’t served it since so stop asking us about it.”
Jay in Oregon
@WereBear:
And I’m sure every web designer has had this conversation…
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell
Jules
Yep.
Looks like every bitch I have ever had about a restaurant website is there.
azlib
I knew the web was in trouble when the graphics designers got involved in the process and had to make everything “purty”. One of my pet website peeves is sites that insist on being a specific size and resolution. Looking at an 800×600 pixel site on a 1600×1280 monitor is always a treat.
And sites that treat you to a Flash show with sound on the home page are just plain annoying.
gypsy howell
@gogol’s wife:
Ha! I thought you might be kidding. But wait! There’s more!
(I do feel pretty sucky making fun of someone’s english though — as if I could ever learn to speak Russian, or Tajik, or whatever language that is. Click on the menu page!)
MikeJ
@Athenae:
In the days of the dotcom boom, we referred to it as selling shovels to the prospectors. Everybody thought they were going to make a fortune on teh web. The people that made money were the ones who convinced them they needed the right tools, the right tools being the ones I’ve got right here.
Michael D.
My guess is that someone who read either Conor Freidersdorf or Julian Sanchez owns that tumblr.
gogol's wife
@gypsy howell:
It’s Russian, but the restaurant is Uzbek, I guess. But there are lots of English speakers in Queens who could proofread for them. Still, I like it this way!
Neddie Jingo
@azlib:
But-but-but… You gotta establish the om-bee-yonce! It’s like the opening credits in a movie, see?
The two most baleful words in Internet history: Skip Intro.
djheru
I’m a web developer (not designer). The agency I work for just finished this website: http://www.mariecatribs.com
I’d be interested to hear your thoughts
Eric S
A friend of mine works in the front office of a famous restaurant group here in Chicago. Their website offends multiple of these “rules.” I forwarded it on to him. I’m curious to see what he says and if there is any reaction in his office.
sluggo
@Neddie Jingo: OMG Neddie, that’s not really you coding all of those god-awful things is it? how it must have damaged you…
graz
@djheru:
Nice work! Enticing and appetizing pics and storylines. Info (phone, address, etc.) at the bottom of every page, facebook linkage for updates and daily specials, easy access menus, etc…
That design overcomes all the criticisms of the typical restaurant website.
M. Bouffant
I don’t care how nice the website is, I ‘m not eating cat ribs!! I mean, what the hell?
Can’t be that much meat on them, for one.