Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

When we show up, we win.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

Let there be snark.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty. ~Thomas Jefferson

Republicans do not pay their debts.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

75% of people clapping liked the show!

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

You are here: Home / Sports / NFL Open Thread

NFL Open Thread

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Hope everyone is feeling chipper this morning after last night’s festivities. Had some coffee my sister brought back from Mexico (Molote Simany?), and my GOD, I have no idea why they produce cocaine in Latin America. Just drink this stuff. I swear they most roast the beans with uranium. It tasted like motor oil, my legs started shaking after half a cup, and I still can’t get the taste out of my mouth. Sweet jeebus.

At any rate, Go Steelers!

*** Update ***

With Allah as my witness, I thought today was Sunday. I told you this coffee was strong.

Reader Interactions

70Comments

  3. 3.

    Brian S (formerly Incertus)

    You sound like my dad after the first time he tried coffee with chicory at the house of the parents of some friends in Ville Platte, LA. It’s pretty much all I drank in my 20’s, though I’ve since moved down to Bustelo–my heart can’t take it anymore.

  4. 4.

    Morbo

    With that out of the way, hopefully you make this a bowl thread. That being the case, WOO, good job, Mississippi State stomach flu! Knock em dead, Denard!

  5. 5.

    MikeJ

    Drinking my sumatran coffee as black as Sarah Palin’s heart and a mimosa. A sure fire way to avoid hangover.

  6. 6.

    PanAmerican

    NFL? You must have really hung one on. Also, the hockey game has been postponed till later.

  9. 9.

    Ross Hershberger

    I made Mrs. H her customary weekend breakfast:

    Coffee
    Spinach omelet with grated Cheddar
    Buttered Rye toast
    Fruit
    More Coffee

    Her dog Geezer gets the eggy/cheezy bits from the pan, which may be the only thing to motivate him out of his bed.

  10. 10.

    Politically Lost

    John,

    I had that same coffee experience recently when I tried Starbuck’s new fangled “Clover” brewing machine.

    Has anyone else tried that brew?

    Apparently it’s like a reverse French press and is calibrated to each bean type. I got a small cup of their Ethiopian blend and it felt like I’d mainlined an ounce meth.

  13. 13.

    Ross Hershberger

    A supervisor at a building that I visit has her custodial staff hooked on espresso. She feeds them triples at the start of every shift and they come back for more on breaks. I drank 2 cups once and felt great for 5 hours. The downer when it wore off felt like I’d been killed, reanimated and killed again out of spite. I’ll stick to half-caff, thanks.

  17. 17.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    Yeah, go Steelers! As in: Go to Foxboro for the AFC Championship game where they’ll get their asses kicked.

  19. 19.

    Ross Hershberger

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I baked croissants while Madame O. made coffee.

    Gone all cheese eating surrender monkey for 2011?
    Come back. America still loves you.

  21. 21.

    suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: Heh. ‘Cause any game that can be successfully played (and won, at the highest levels) by complete meatheads, many of whom aren’t even in good physical shape, just ain’t that interesting. I can’t believe there’s actual strategy or gamesmanship involved when some of the best players of the game sound like matoko_chan.

  22. 22.

    hildebrand

    Happy New Year – to start off the new year on the right foot, I will be brewing my first batch of homebrewed beer – a fairly straightforward amber ale.

    If anyone has advice for homebrewers let me know. Wish me luck!

  23. 23.

    Evolved Deep Southerner

    I’m still pissed about Georgia losing to Central Fucking Florida. Mark Richt can Go Galt – or Go Urban Meyer – today for all I give a shit. Mrs. Southerner is a Florida grad, so we’re watching that now. Never thought I’d ever find myself cheering for the Gators. Even faking it, as I am. Glad she doesn’t do political blogs.

  24. 24.

    geg6

    The stuffed banana peppers and spinach/artichoke dip now baking in the oven are sending out smells that are just about killing me. And PSU’s walkon QB is looking awesome.

  27. 27.

    Yutsano

    @Omnes Omnibus: That’s not disappointing, that’s sane. I don’t know how boulangeres do that every morning in Paris. They take HOURS and are really easy to mess up.

    (I shall now await FH #1’s mockery.)

  28. 28.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @suzanne: I have never heard Chad Ochocinco mention memetic selection, and I doubt that Tom Brady ever called someone a cudlip.

  29. 29.

    John Cole

    Heh. Cole, you must have gotten trashed last night.

    Heh. Other than a nip in the coffee here and there, I haven’t had a drink for probably two months. And now, I am dieting and starting a good exercise regime. I did nothing last night!

    Every year, I keep saying I am going to go on a diet after New Years, and I use that as an excuse to pig out during the holidays. Then, New Years rolls around, and I find some excuse to not diet. Or, like last year, break my damned shoulder.

    This year I did something different. I went on the diet the day after Christmas, and it isn’t so much as a diet as a change in eating habits, if that makes sense. I will be thin come Summer. Damnit.

  30. 30.

    Brian S (formerly Incertus)

    @suzanne: See, I think that’s a little unfair to the players. What they have is a very specialized knowledge of a very specialized area of study. When you sink that much effort into one area, you’re likely to be lacking in other areas. I’m not saying they’re all super-geniuses, but I bet if you get into a conversation with anyone who’s been a pro for five years or more, they can get into a very detailed discussion as to why they do what they do in any particular situation. If all they do is react instinctively in game situations, they don’t last very long. Don’t let their obvious limitations in some areas (even in erudition) make you think that they’re necessarily stupid.

  32. 32.

    SFAW

    As in: Go to Foxboro for the AFC Championship game where they’ll get their asses kicked.

    Think you’re pretty smart, huh? You just wait until the Steelers unveil (or is it unleash?) their secret weapon – the triumphant return of Kordell Stewart! (With Ryan Leaf on backup, in case Wilfork gives Stewart a hard look, and KS faints). We’ll see who’s laughing then!

  33. 33.

    Steelers R Bradys Bitches aka 2liberal

    I am trying a new user name (using an alternate email address so I don’t get moderated) just for NFL threads – how do you like it so far? I mostly lurk but occasionally post as “2liberal”.

    This is kind of a reaction to the anti-Patriot Taliban that always seems to raise it’s ugly head in these threads.

    Anyway I am hoping the Steelers make it as far as the Gillette Stadium so that will be one easy win for this post-season for the Patriots. I believe the Pats have home field locked up all the way thru so it doesn’t matter what happens this week.

    I will admit to suffering from Irrational Exuberance about the Patriots right now.

    ***AAAAACKK!!*** I am still in moderation!

  34. 34.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Brian S (formerly Incertus): The same holds true with the players’ fitness levels. They build up their bodies to suit their roles. An offensive lineman or nose tackle who appears to be a tub of lard can be very quick and is certainly very strong.

  35. 35.

    Robertdsc-iphone

    John, did the site changes take effect yet? Do we have a mobile version that we can use?

    Can we haz King Tunch pix, pls?

  36. 36.

    JPL

    ESPN decided to hog all the bowl games this year except for the Outback. My son did mention that at least you can stream the games on ESPN3 so there’s that.
    Go Penn State.

  40. 40.

    Poicephalus

    NFL Open Thread

    FAIL

    Gig ’em!!!

    C
    ’81

    N.B. Cole, thanks for the community. It (you, they, us) be Teh Roxxor (punctuate at will).

    Love y’all

  42. 42.

    Ross Hershberger

    @John Cole:

    it isn’t so much as a diet as a change in eating habits, if that makes sense.

    It’s the only thing that makes sense. Living thinner means living different. Diets, except for special medical cases, are mostly fraud an almost all useless in the long term.

  43. 43.

    SFAW

    Coffee so strong it can warp time itself!

    Hardly.

    As Shakespeare or someone else once said: “I once put instant coffee in the microwave and went back in time.”

  45. 45.

    Steelers R Bradys Bitches aka 2liberal

    @MoeLarryAndJesus:

    Yeah, go Steelers! As in: Go to Foxboro for the AFC Championship game where they’ll get their asses kicked

    thank you for this post which made me LOL

  46. 46.

    bemused

    John, you really need to find out the name of the Mexican coffee & tell us, please. It’s not nice to rave like that about it to coffee addicts and leave us hanging like that.

  49. 49.

    Ross Hershberger

    I’ve been reading about a hack to a hot air popcorn popper that allows it to be used to roast green coffee beans. Apparently unless you’re getting very freshly roasted coffee the flavor is degraded from when it was hot out of the roaster. Green coffee beans are said to be much cheaper than roasted coffee as well.
    I may or may not do this. It’s my kind of repurposing hack but we’re headed into the season when I drink a lot of Lapsang Souchong instead of java.

  50. 50.

    BD of MN

    @hildebrand: Two key items for your first (and every) batch. One, sanitation is everything. Don’t use bleach. you probably got some oxidizing sanitizer with your setup, which is fine, but it’s expensive in the long run. Next time you go shopping buy a jug of Star-San, it’s the best. Two, don’t pitch your yeast until your wort is cooled to under 70deg F. hot wort plus yeast equals fusel alcohols, which taste like gasoline and give unbelievably bad hangovers. And three, even though I only said two, cause now I remember you said you were brewing an Amber, your specialty grains should be steeped in the small amount of water the directions indicate, don’t be tempted to steep it in the entire volume of water you’re heating up. using too much water to steep gives too low of a pH, which extracts tannins, which give a harsh, drying flavor (think too strong tea)…

    good luck, and really, the sanitation is the key element…

  51. 51.

    monkeyboy

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I baked croissants

    I think everybody should make croissants from scratch at least once (and biscuits to a lesser extent).

    That way you can appreciate the enormous pantload of butter in them. When they are fresh out of the oven you might be tempted to eat half a batch because they are at their peak quality but having made them you realize that you might as well just eat a whole stick of butter at one sitting.

  53. 53.

    Mike E

    My local coffeshop (phuk starbux) has an organic Mexican bean that is to die for–plus several other varieties that can turn you into a paint mixer. I’m on their intertoobz right now!

    I concur with the above sentiment about “dieting”. Starvation isn’t the way. Eating selectively/healthy is always wise. Just stay away from that elitist arugula, you stinking Obot!

  55. 55.

    Yutsano

    @Omnes Omnibus: Yup. Butter and honey on a warm croissant. Although really biscuits aren’t supposed to be that loaded with butter. Croissants are a different story.

  56. 56.

    hildebrand

    @BD of MN: My thanks. Every single thing that I have read about homebrewing really stresses how absolutely vital proper sanitation is for the process – thus I am channeling my inner anal-retentive for that part of the day’s activities.

    Good to know about the grains.

  58. 58.

    monkeyboy

    @Yutsano:

    Although really biscuits aren’t supposed to be that loaded with butter. Croissants are a different story.

    The basic recipe for croissants or biscuits is 2 cups flour and 1 stick butter. Croissants seem to have more butter because the layers of it melt and leak out a little.

  62. 62.

    Anonymous At Work

    Having Friday off kinda was throwing me as well. But I don’t drink that heavily on a Saturday night, so my head alerted me to the difference.

  64. 64.

    bemused

    @WaterGirl:
    Ha, warning? Sounded like a must try recommendation to me!
    We got a gift of a lovely Guatemalan coffee, Finca Vista Hermosa, from Coffee&Tea, Ltd, Minneapolis. Hefty but smooth.

  66. 66.

    Anne Laurie

    @monkeyboy: __

    When they are fresh out of the oven you might be tempted to eat half a batch because they are at their peak quality but having made them you realize that you might as well just eat a whole stick of butter at one sitting.

    Huh. You mean you’re not supposed to do that?

  67. 67.

    SFAW

    It wasn’t Shakespeare; it was Sir Francis Bacon.

    Lies! The “thesis” that Bacon wrote anything which has (properly) been attributed to Shakespeare has been disproved time and again (without benefit of coffee-induced time travel, I might add). In fact, I have seen the definitive proof laid out quite handsomely by Peabody and Sherman.

    Or not.

  68. 68.

    WaterGirl

    @efgoldman: My favorite Stephen Wright:

    I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, “Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?” “Yes, officer, but I wasn’t going to be out that long…”

  69. 69.

    SFAW

    If it wasn’t, it should have been.

    It was.

    And many xtra points for the Sherman and Mr Peabody reference.

    Nah, it was too easy. But thanks for the kind thoughts.

  70. 70.

    hildebrand

    Stephen Wright:

    There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

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