Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

People are complicated. Love is not.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

This blog will pay for itself.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

After roe, women are no longer free.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

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Reader Interactions

120Comments

  1. 1.

    mr. whipple

    Every time a front-page poster here discusses the nature of libertarianism, a kitten dies.

    The kitten finds libertarians so tedious it offs itself.

  3. 3.

    Michael

    Q: Why did the Family Values Christian Conservative Teabagger cross the road?

    A: His manhood was stuck in the chicken.

  6. 6.

    Violet

    That is the most pathetic looking kitten. Aww…

    Can we discuss the nature of chocolate chip cookies instead?

  12. 12.

    pragmatism

    john, good on you for bringing ED here and having his back. it must be rough to face a bunch of jackals who want their pound of flesh. that’s how i feel when i wade into mcmegtard’s comments or reason, etc. but then i remember that i chose to be there. but we all will be better for it.

  15. 15.

    Michael

    Q: How many Libertarian Teabaggers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: None. It won’t get changed. They’d rather sit around and blame the dark on evil libruls. And by the time an evil librul lightbulb changer stumbles over the Libertarian Teabaggers to get the job done, the Teabaggers will complain about the way the lightbulb got changed and will scream loudly about both the delay and the tyranny of the imposition of light on their freedom to sit in the dark.

  18. 18.

    Legalize

    Cole: [low voice] Hold it! Next Commenter makes a move, the kitten gets it!

    Commenter 1 : Hold it, BJ-ers. He’s not bluffing.

    Commenter 2: Listen to him, BJ-ers. He’s just crazy enough to do it!

    Cole: [low voice] Drop it! Or I swear I’ll blow this kitten’s head all over this thread!

    Cole: [high-pitched voice] Oh, lo’dy, lo’d, he’s desp’it! Do what he sayyyy, do what he sayyyy!

    [Commenters drop their snark. Cole jams the gun into his neck and drags himself through the thread towards the bar]

    Commenter 3: Isn’t anybody going to help that poor kitten?

    Commenter 2: Hush, that’s a sure way to get him killed!

    Cole: [high-pitched voice] Oooh! He’p me, he’p me!
    Somebody he’p me! He’p me! He’p me! He’p me!

    Cole: [low voice] Shut up!

    /punt

  20. 20.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    Whew, the course has been recharted away from Endless, Tedious, Libertarian Discussions and back to Teh Cute.

    Ramming speed Mr Sulu!

  21. 21.

    mr. whipple

    Looks like Erik Erikson just put a hit out on Sarah Palin.

    Good God. Why do they hire these nutters? Enough!

  22. 22.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @Southern Beale: He’s trying to pre-martyr her. I guess he’s hoping that there is some liberal out there paying attention to the TV, stroking his guns, and just waiting for someone to say that a Republican should get shot so that they can go do it.

    And yet he’ll argue that words don’t cause people to do things.

  23. 23.

    Triassic Sands

    I paid almost no attention to Palin’s latest whine for sympathy, so I was surprised today to see a number of sources criticizing her for her narcissism and need to make everything all about her. Doyle McManus (villager in good standing) apparently said this:

    “The Arizona shootings and their aftermath will probably be remembered as the end of Palin’s chances of being taken seriously as a Republican presidential candidate. She had an opportunity to rise to an occasion, and she whiffed.”

    Poor Sarah. Even when she’s busy whining about being a victim, people are using her words to victimize her further.

    I won’t be satisfied if people just stop taking her seriously as a candidate; I want her to disappear from the public scene altogether. Message to Sarah P: take your millions and disappear, please. God, I’m sick of her.

    Headline 1: Obama Seeks New Era of Civility

    Headline 2: Palin Seeks New Era of Sympathy

  25. 25.

    MikeJ

    Kitty doesn’t know how to handle the front pagers here. Tunch would have that gun pointed at the source of his trouble, not at himself.

  26. 26.

    jibeaux

    I’ve been waiting all day for this post. On the upside, all that eyerolling has got to have strengthened some muscles.

    Since we were discussing diet yesterday, did you know that on my loseit app, it only gives you TEN calories for a half hour of sexual activity? Walking at two whole miles an hour gets you fifty. What kind of lives do these app developers have, anyway?

  31. 31.

    Svensker

    @Michael:

    LOL.

    In other news, I had to come over here to get some sanity. Just checked my FB page and my wingnut cousin is saying that Sheriff Dupnik needs to be fired for deliberately sabotaging the evidence against the shooter. Why would the Sheriff do that? Because “liberals want to wreck the trial because of their love for crazy people and their need to bring down the U.S.”

    Dear Pres. Obama, thank you for a lovely speech. But do you think it would be uncivil if I reached thru the internets and beat my cousin about the head and neck severely, prior to strangling him? I’m sure that’s not really uncivil. And it would so lower my blood pressure. Yours sincerely, Svensker

  32. 32.

    Mike E

    Libertarian LOLCat hates any scrutiny of its selfish, illogical arguments. Back off, bitchez!

    “I haz permit 2 carry, ’cause I can pay cash 4 it! Go urn urown”

  34. 34.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    @MikeJ:

    Kitty doesn’t know how to handle the front pagers here. Tunch would have that gun pointed at the source of his trouble, not at himself.

    My guess is that since Tunch doesn’t have opposable digits, he’d put out the word to the polydactle crowd for a hit. Especially the Key West contingent: they’ve known how to use guns since Hemingway blew his brains out and most definitely have digits to spare.

    Or I can hire out our current foster with the explosive diarrhea: another FP outburst on fucking libertarians and I’ll aim Roscoe’s arse in their general direction. Cleaning up that mess will take their minds off their emotional issues.

  35. 35.

    SiubhanDuinne

    John, you are a sick, sick, deeply troubled man.

    (P.S. I’m laughing my fool ass off here.)

  37. 37.

    El Cid

    Hey, somebody needs to tell Al Gore that there’s snow everywhere! So much for ‘global warming’!

    Figures on Global Climate Show 2010 Tied 2005 as the Hottest Year on Record
    __
    JUSTIN GILLIS | New York Times | January 12, 2011
    __
    New government figures for the global climate show that 2010 was the wettest year in the historical record, and it tied 2005 as the hottest year since record-keeping began in 1880.
    __
    The new figures confirm that 2010 will go down as one of the more remarkable years in the annals of climatology. It featured prodigious snowstorms that broke seasonal records in the United States and Europe; a record-shattering summer heat wave that scorched Russia; strong floods that drove people from their homes in places like Pakistan, Australia, California and Tennessee; a severe die-off of coral reefs; and a continuation in the global trend of a warming climate.
    __
    Two agencies, NASA and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, reported Wednesday that the global average surface temperature for 2010 had tied the record set in 2005. The analyses differ slightly; in the NOAA version, the 2010 temperature was 1.12 degrees Fahrenheit above the average for the 20th century, which is 57 degrees.
    __
    It was the 34th year running that global temperatures have been above the 20th-century average; the last below-average year was 1976. The new figures show that 9 of the 10 warmest years on record have occurred since the beginning of 2001.

    Ha! “Government figures”! If you believe them then the next time you go to the Moon, why don’t you look for that flag that supposedly was put there by our astronauts in their mission to a soundstage, whoops, I mean to the Moon!

    Why don’t you get yer damn ‘scientists’ to look at the dang Sun for once, so that they can see it’s all temporary stuff caused by sunspots. No scientists have ever studied the Sun and said anything about sunspots.

  38. 38.

    beltane

    @Triassic Sands: That is the near-universal meme among the Villagers today, that Sarah Palin was given a golden opportunity to look presidential and she flubbed it badly. It took them a while to figure this out, but once they have someone typecast like that it is permanent. Palin is officially toast.

  39. 39.

    Redshift

    @Svensker: Way back when I worked in tech support, I wished our products all required the customer to have an electric shock device that we could control over the ‘net, for when they were being obnoxious idiots.

    Some days I wish all Internet users were required to have one.

  41. 41.

    licensed to kill time

    I’d been slogging through the libertarian threads and wanted to comment that I found it all tediously boring but I thought that would be rude or something. So I didn’t say it. There, anyway.

    Kitteh!

  42. 42.

    jibeaux

    @Svensker:

    If there’s anything that comes to mind when someone says “sheriff”, it’s definitely “liberals who love crazy people and want to bring down the U.S.”

  43. 43.

    TR

    @Southern Beale:

    Honestly, if I were a conservative, I’d be pissed that a clown who called Souter a “goat-fucking child molester” was made into a conservative representative on CNN.

    I think he should be removed, but frankly, the fact that conservatives are fine with him speaks volumes about their worldview. Sad.

  44. 44.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    Any musician types here? Winter NAMM just opened up which means I can look at all kinds of edrumming equipment I can’t afford.

    I blame libertarians, no, Republicans, no, Bush..wait, poor life choices.

  46. 46.

    MikeJ

    @El Cid: I keep trying to explain that “heat” means “energy”. There is more energy in the atmosphere, which means not just higher temps but more storms.

  47. 47.

    sukabi

    now this made me laugh… very tedious arguing an ideology that will only work in theory… the main component that’s left out of their ideology are the human factors… greed and quest for power.

  48. 48.

    The Dangerman

    @Svensker:

    …sabotaging the evidence against the shooter.

    How stupid do you have to be to believe that the shooter isn’t going anyplace other than a hospital or jail for the rest of his life regardless of what the Sheriff said? The Death Penalty may come off the table because of mental illness, but there is no innocent by reason of insanity in Arizona. It’s guilty and insane there; if and when he comes out of a mental institution, he goes to jail for the rest of his days.

  50. 50.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @El Cid:

    Ha! “Government figures”! If you believe them then the next time you go to the Moon, why don’t you look for that flag that supposedly was put there by our astronauts in their mission to a soundstate, whoops, I mean to the Moon!

    One of my favorite things to imagine is that we did not actually go to the moon, but now that the Chinese are trying, the government is secretly putting a mission together to go arrange all of the props.

  51. 51.

    Southern Beale

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    He’s trying to pre-martyr her.

    Oh good grief, as if she hasn’t martyred herself enough already! Our Lady Of Perpetual Oppression. Every time she says something stupid and we point and laugh, she gets to whine and complain about how mean liberals keep saying mean things about her and it’s SO UNFAIR.

    Just. Shut. Up.

    Seriously, who cares enough about Sarah Palin to even bother? Not me.

  59. 59.

    Jonathan

    Hey John, you wanna cool it down with the inflammatory rhetoric? It only takes one over-the-edge kitten to see this post…

  61. 61.

    Xenos

    @MikeJ: And as I learned from living in Canada for a couple years, it rarely snows on the really cold days. A warmer winter is a snowier winter.

  62. 62.

    beltane

    @licensed to kill time: Congratulations! I avoid the libertarian threads because libertarianism is too absurd to even be taken seriously as an intellectual abstraction. ED might be the nicest guy in the world, but he sure is silly and his threads seem more like an exercise in babysitting than an actual discussion.

  63. 63.

    Mnemosyne

    @The Dangerman:

    To be fair, these are often the same people who insist that the CEO of Procter & Gamble really did go on TV and admit that the company is run by Satanists even though the story’s been repeatedly debunked over the past 30 years.

    In other words, they’re really, really stupid.

  64. 64.

    hueyplong

    “… once they have someone typecast like that it is permanent. Palin is officially toast.”

    There is always “The Comeback” scenario, but you probably can’t do that purely on Facebook without running a campaign for some particular office. So yes, she’s probably toast in terms of the role she has been hoping to play. The right’s best move is to declare her a martyr so as to insulate others who do the same things from the criticisms she has received.

    She will remain a right wing celebrity until cranky old white men no longer find her physically attractive. Bill Kristol will probably stroke it unto the grave, but we all hope and pray that he himself is not technically a demographic.

  65. 65.

    New Yorker

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2SvhDY23So&feature=player_embedded

    This one disappeared into history because it came just as the US and Iraq were about to face off the first time, so the world didn’t much notice it. Plus, it wasn’t as bloody (thankfully) as Tienanmen Square, nor did it produce any iconic images like “Tank Man” (actually, the Soviets ran over some protesters who stood in front of the tanks). Still, it was yet another nail in the coffin of the Soviet Union.

  66. 66.

    Legalize

    @The Dangerman:
    That and the investigation became federalized about 14 seconds after the shooting happened. But that’s probably worse because you know who has control of the FBI, don’t you?

  68. 68.

    sukabi

    @hueyplong: they’d pretty much written McCain off as a serious candidate by the end of 2007… campaign was out of money and wasn’t getting much attention either by the media or the public… then his beltway media friends decided they liked his bbq and tireswings and voila, comeback kid… and he beshit his campaign with Palin… good times.

  69. 69.

    georgia pig

    The tree of liberty is watered from time to time with the blood of American Curls and Pomeranians.

  71. 71.

    licensed to kill time

    @beltane: I actually sighed when I saw the topic come up yet again. A world weary, been there, heard it, got the t-shirt kind of sigh.

  72. 72.

    Redshift

    @Mnemosyne:

    ETA: In case you missed it, here’s what Fred Clark at Slacktivist had to say: “Only a crazy person would take what we say seriously”

    I had missed it. That’s really good.

  75. 75.

    General Stuck

    That’s okay, every libertarian, like every kitten, has nine lives and a bucket full of free market/tuna

  76. 76.

    hueyplong

    @sukabi:

    Of course, McCain also had the adoring attention of beltway media types.

    Not so sure Palin can carry that off, and real sure that the “establishment Republicans” of the corporate variety don’t rate her at the top of their list.

  77. 77.

    Yurpean

    Long-time listener, first time caller here.

    I’m moved to comment to apologise on behalf of the UK (tis where I’m from, but I have an unhealthy obsession with US politics, hence being here).

    It has come to my attention that a certain Piers ‘Moron’ Morgan is replacing Larry King on CNN. I can only say sorry, and that we in Britain are not all like that. That is all.

    (Although if you do take him to your hearts, it” hopefully mean he’ll stay on your side of the pond. In which case, ignore what I said above, tune in, and enjoy this charming[sic] British import…)

  81. 81.

    cyntax

    Every time a front-page poster here discusses the nature of libertarianism, a kitten dies.

    At this point, we’re almost out of kittens.

  85. 85.

    hueyplong

    Andy K (3:37 pm, Thurs): “First person to bitch about the refs in this weekend’s Stillers-Ravens game will be to blame for this.”

    JC (Thus): “They’ll probably flag Harrison during the National Anthem.”

    Game over.

  86. 86.

    burnspbesq

    @trollhattan:

    “In a rare bit of good news, a mountain is spared.”

    For the moment. This is far from over. There will be litigation and lobbying galore.

    Now, if Brad Paisley and Bob Huggins were to chain themselves to a tree on top of the mountain …

  93. 93.

    suzanne

    @hueyplong:

    Bill Kristol will probably stroke it unto the grave

    Clorox doesn’t make enough bleach to scrub THAT disgusting image from my brain.

    Vomit.

  94. 94.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    @beltane: That is only fitting. All this time her qualifications could have been the straw that broke the camels back. But not in this polity. Nope, it’s all about appearance.

  95. 95.

    asiangrrlMN

    Awwwwww, so cuuttttttte! Love the kitty (and the call for a moratorium on libertarian posts.

    @jibeaux: They are incorrect. According to random calculator on the internets, a 150 pound person engaging in intercourse for half an hour burns 144 calories. Even if it’s only foreplay, the same person is burning 50 calories.

  99. 99.

    THE

    @asiangrrlMN:

    According to random calculator on the internets, a 150 pound person engaging in intercourse for half an hour burns 144 calories. Even if it’s only foreplay, the same person is burning 50 calories.</blockquote.
    So not really "burning".
    More like smoldering, bursting into flame and then fizzling out.

  100. 100.

    englishmajor

    Can’t download the Palin “blood libel” bs fast enough so bagged it. Hate to tell y’all but technology-disability is a blessing. Proof: just found my old Walkman and am listening to a Dolly Parton Collector’s Series cassette on some craptacular nostalgia-foam earphones. Dolly, bless her tiny shoes, makes the libertarians go away. “Jolene!”

  101. 101.

    Brachiator

    @beltane:

    That is the near-universal meme among the Villagers today, that Sarah Palin was given a golden opportunity to look presidential and she flubbed it badly. It took them a while to figure this out, but once they have someone typecast like that it is permanent. Palin is officially toast.

    This is actually making the Village quite nervous. The problem is that, the more La Palin looks like a dope in front of most people, the more beloved she becomes to her base.

    What the Village fears most of all is the inevitable angry mob reaction when Palin is kicked to the curb in favor of “more electable” GOP candidates in 2012, and her devoted minions demand that she be given a chance or some active role or be made queen of the universe.

  103. 103.

    asiangrrlMN

    @suzanne:

    I’m with Omnes Omnibus on this one. I have heard reports of plenty of exercise being had from the bottom–just sayin’. And, of course, there’s always side by side. Hm. Now I’m curious. Oooh, linky here with that breakdown. I like what it says about the woman’s O!

    @THE: Heh. True. But, it’s still more than the 10 calories cited above by jibeaux.

    This topic is much more fun and edjumacational than libertarian philosophy!

  105. 105.

    Brachiator

    Happy Birthday, Wikipedia

    Wikipedia, the world’s fifth-most-popular website, is turning 10 on Saturday.
    __
    More than 350 events celebrating the online encyclopedia’s anniversary are planned across more than 111 countries — 10 in Germany, 13 in Pakistan and 70 of them in India, where Wikipedia is planning to open an office

  109. 109.

    WaterGirl

    If what we see and hear around us has no influence, I wonder why I have caught the song “Tis a gift to be simple…” going through my head several times today?

  112. 112.

    Jeanne ringland

    @Svensker:

    One of the main reasons I have not friended most of my cousins on FB, and one of the two (and I have lots, see: Ozarks, Missouri: inbreeding) is teetering on the brink of being defriended if she ever EVER posts anything like that.

  113. 113.

    elf

    and here after the POTUS speech last night I was feeling rather contrite for having posted many of the tweets from yesterday’s rambunctious doings on my facebook page..

    ya go and put this up…

    ok yeah I am lolrofl

  114. 114.

    Jay in Oregon

    @suzanne:

    That’s it. That’s my new lose-the-baby-weight plan. Ten orgasms a day.

    Your husband is going to look like one of the aliens’ victims in Lifeforce at that rate.

  116. 116.

    Uncle Clarence Thomas

    .
    .
    I have heard President Obama’s heartfelt and inspiring call to action – “to live up to the example that young Christina Green expected in how our democracy should function” – and I will proudly honor his call by being the first to voluntarily, of my own free will, stop ordering American citizens to be murdered in cold blood, or prisoners to be indefinitely detained, without any trial or conviction in a court of law.

    Also too, I will try to find some more things to do and bring them back to you.
    .
    .

  117. 117.

    Ija

    Maybe we should have posts on the nature of liberalism instead. I bet there’s some vigorous disagreement among the front pagers about that. It has the added advantage of being actually relevant.

  118. 118.

    jinxtigr

    @jibeaux:

    Since we were discussing diet yesterday, did you know that on my loseit app, it only gives you TEN calories for a half hour of sexual activity?

    Use both hands, get twenty! :)

  119. 119.

    Ija

    That is the cutest kitty picture I have ever seen. Is it real or Photoshopped? Quick, someone call PETA.

  120. 120.

    BrianM

    @Ija: I was thinking today that a discussion of “liberalism, how the fuck does it work?” would be a good idea.

Comments are closed.