Woke up, walked the dog at about 6 am, her feet got cold, so I picked her up and was carrying her back in when I slipped on the ice. I fell forward, rolled to my right so I would not crush Lily, and the entire brunt of the fall went to my outstretched right arm. My shoulder dislocated and I heard crunching and had immediate excruciating pain. Got up and used a doorknob to pop my shoulder back in, and it kept popping out of joint, sending me into agony each time.
Somehow drove to the ER, got some xrays and a ct scan, and I have basically pulverized my scapula. It is broken in multiple places, so I am heavily sedated and wearing a massive shoulder/arm immobilizer. Surgery next week.
On the upside, I was not naked in the shower with a mop.
How is your day going?
I think I am going Galt for real for a few days.
I have a couple boxes of styrofoam peanuts in the basement. I think I am basically going to dump those around me on the Lazy-Boy tomorrow, put on my old army body armor and lacrosse helmet and gloves, and basically not move all day tomorrow. Just to be safe.
Just thinking about it right now makes my shoulder hurt.
Mr. Poppinfresh
At least with the shower mop, you’d have gotten laid…
Comrade Mary
That should definitely go in your OKCupid profile.
steviez314
Styrofoam peanuts and dogs don’t mix.
Villago Delenda Est
My reaction to this is but one word.
Ouch.
Barb (formerly Gex)
How is the shoulder? Get your full range of motion back?
keestadoll
That fall was spectacular and well executed. Please post the x-rays!
Skepticat
I remember it well. Did you ever get boots for the dogs, or are you continuing to risk your life in this manner?
JGabriel
Mr. Poppinfresh:
But you end up with sponges, which are a pain in the ass to treat. And the doctors never believe you’re a deep sea diver — they just keep giggling in the background.
.
kdaug
Ah, good times.
Martin
Daughter’s 10th birthday is tomorrow. Seems oddly fitting that it should be remembered as a day celebrating excruciating pain.
Batocchio
Don’t forget to wear a cup.
Anne Laurie
I’m glad it’s just phantom pain, Cole.
And to reiterate: Get some booties for your beloved dogs!
WereBear
Ow. Sympathy pains, here.
Celebrate that it’s in the past, anyway!
scav
You didn’t manage going galt back then either. Ah well, we can light crutches for candles — any excuse for a party.
JPL
Some of us will never forget the description of your trying to pop the shoulder but into place. Do you think Lily understands how much she is loved?
Violet
Stay safe tomorrow, John. Okay, stay safe all the time.
Did you ever get those ice booties for Lily and her delicate feet?
paradox
That was and is a seriously messed up injury, I hope everything works out well.
Some years, man, just don’t seem worth livin’, it’s gone. Good advice for both of us.
quaint irene
Ha! You think lightening strikes twice in the same place? Fate will probably wait till your guard is down…like January 16th.
PurpleGirl
Be careful tomorrow. Take it easy.
Just Some Fuckhead
Who do I have to blow around here to get a kickass glibertarian thread?
Violet
@JGabriel:
And they wonder if you’re spongeworthy.
Mr. Poppinfresh
@JGabriel: A friend of mine is a doctor- he has iPhone videos from his days as an ER resident.
Videos that would surprise you, no matter how jaded you are.
Comrade Mary
Oh, yes, pleasepleaseplease get booties for the dogs.
JPL
It’s interesting that John is reliving his fracture and somehow the conversation turns to booties for Lily. That’s liberal empathy for you.
hhex65
I would like to commend the admirable failure to fund-raise off of this event.
Rico from the Burgh
Geez I can Identify, man. I broke my collarbone and two ribs slipping on ice during that megastorm we had last year. Talk about ouch. Glad you protected your baby though and, listen, some or your pain will be alleviated by the Stillers crushing the Ravens Saturday, which they surely will. Take care and don’t go all Rush on those Oxy’s!
BGK
My mother fell and broke her left arm in a nasty manner on December 23rd, 2006. She fell and sprained her right wrist on December 23rd, 2007.
Now, on December 23rd, I tie her to the family room chair and have her cat Josephine hold the car keys.
Mark S.
Wasilla Wingnut to Give Checkers Speech II to Lapdog Hannity.
Kristine
Happy Armaversary, John! Hug the lovely Lily, and don’t move from that chair.
Wile E. Quixote
@John Cole
So, you going to be wearing anything underneath that body armor?
Barb (formerly Gex)
Remember, both sides storm their opponents with angry mobs.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/41050066#41050066
PhoenixRising
Every year on the anniversary of my accident–I hit the trifecta, scapula shear/clavicle/acromium, three ribs were spare–I take some time to appreciate my continued life.
I typically also take some time to call my state legislators and remind them that I’m only around to hassle them the rest of the year because we fund a level 1 trauma center that was able to treat the pnemothorax caused by the broken ribs. Yes, everything really IS about public policy to me..
JenJen
I forgot about the part where you had to wait a week for surgery. Sounds utterly Canadian in retrospect!
@Mark S.: Oh good grief. Stop digging, Mooseburger.
Wile E. Quixote
All kidding aside I know how you feel; Saturday the 15th will be the eighth anniversary of my motorcycle purchase (a really neat little Suzuki SV-650). Monday the 17th will be the 8th anniversary of my getting hit by a truck while riding said motorcycle.
YellowDog
I did something similar 16 years ago (fell off a ladder), except I fractured the humerus and have two screws that fortunately do not set off metal detectors. I had a good surgeon who, when he repaired the fracture, also tightened up the ligament that was stretched by the dislocation. However, I still climb ladders and do everything I did before except throw a ball overhand. My range of motion is about 90-95%, which is about the best you can expect when the ligament has to be lapped in order to tighten it. In other words, don’t obsess about it.
Wile E. Quixote
@PhoenixRising:
Which level 1 trauma center are you an alumni of? Me: Harborview Medical Center, class of 2003 with post graduate work in 2004 and 2007.
LongHairedWeirdo
Silly as it sounds… if you were *going* to get that horrible injury, it’s meaningful that you got it trying to protect another.
Take care, and have a very uneventful day.
mr. whipple
Hope she’s wearing a nice, Republican coat that she bought with McCain campaign money.
PhoenixRising
The University of New Mexico saved my life. The chief of the residency program–11 people were in the room when they worked on me, because other than 1.3 collapsed lungs I was in great shape and therefore a teaching opportunity–did his residency at Harborview. Ran into him the next week at the mall, and he was just a pip. So damn happy to have someone walk out of his ER…
debit
January 16 will be the one year anniversary of adopting Chloe.
Dave C
Elections matter: EPA Revokes Permit for Major Coal Mining Project
Mark S.
@JenJen:
Stop threatening Sarah!
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
And he posted seven other times that day. Pretty much going Galt for John.
stuckinred
Damn man you are an accident waiting for a place to happen. Let it heal and do what you are told. Then do the therapy and do what you are told again. I broke my back in 1975. Rods on my spine, a year in a body cast and another year of PT and I’m still jammin at 61. You can do it.
JenJen
@Mark S.: I know. I’m an unhinged leftist Balloon-Juice commentator and one day my “Stop digging, Mooseburger” comment might be attributed to DougJ, and if she were bonked over the head with a gardening tool (hey, not my idea, just riffing on Erick Erickson), that would probably be being DougJ’s fault, and he’s always wanted that, because we know this, and we live in reality. And David Brock will rejoice, and Keith Olbermann will pop the Moet & Chandon. Again, just riffing on Erick’s weird-ass prophesies. (Insert I AM NOT BEING SERIOUS tag here)
So I’ll stop. Hey, did you hear Kate Hudson is preggo? It’s true!!
Calming Influence
John, resistance is fruitless. Once you recline the Lazy-Boy, a strap from your body armor will catch in the mechanism and prevent it from returning upright. As you struggle to sit up, the packing peanuts prevent you from gaining a purchase, and the friction causes your sweatpants to slip down. Meanwhile, your concerned neighbors have interpreted your loud cursing as some sort of seizure and have summoned the paramedics, who just happen to have a cameraman from the local TV station with them on a ride-along, and he has video rolling when they break down your door.
Just make sure you’re wearing clean skivvies tomorrow.
FlipYrWhig
@Calming Influence: That’s like a comedy version of every _Final Destination_ movie.
lllphd
aw dude; so sorry to hear.
are the drugs good?
how does it feel to be the pity magnet? doncha know sarah’s all green with envy.
seriously, take it easy. nice touch, saving the critter.
suzanne
@Mr. Poppinfresh:
A former coworker of mine showed me ER photos from rotten.com once. (she was as lovely as you’d expect). I just about cried.
de stijl
@Barb (formerly Gex):
You know what really sells that right wing mob vibe? When that dude shouts “Jew!” at the end. It’s not a white riot until someone screams an epithet.
Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): Beat me to it. I think Cole thinks “Going Galt” means “POST FASTER!”
DonkeyKong
Wow Cole, pop your shoulder back in. Very Martin Riggs. When you’re whacked out on percodine you’ll have this conversation with Lily.
Lily: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?
John Cole: Oh, for Chriss-…
Lily: Shut up! Yes or no – you wanna die?
John Cole: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want?
Lily: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!
John Cole+: Well, what do you wanna hear, man? Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin’ the frozen pavement? Huh? Well, I do! I even got special slippery shoes for the occasion with rubber soles, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don’t do it? This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don’t do it? Posting rants against manic progressives and Sarah Palin snark.
Lethal Weapon quotes WERE harmed in the making of this post.
JGabriel
@de stijl:
Technically, Jew isn’t an epithet, though the shouter undoubtedly intended it that way.
I think what you meant to say is: It’s not a pogrom till someone’s screaming “Jew!”
.
fraught
I was an occasional visitor to BJ a year ago and I think that post was what hooked me into being a daily reader and occasional commenter. I came for the politics and stayed for the pets and the pain.
eemom
even then you were never gone Galt for more’n an hour or so.
eemom
and here’s another interesting annniversary
http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/our_picks/index.html?story=/ent/tv/feature/2011/01/12/all_in_the_family
of course, most of y’all weren’t even born yet. But that was seriously one of the greatest shows of all time.
MikeJ
@eemom: In a bizarre way it was easier to discuss difficult subjects when there were only three channels of tv.
jwb
@MikeJ: It’s also all the damn talking heads we have barking at us for attention these days. It’s difficult to have any kind of substantive discussion today, much less a difficult discussion.
parsimon
46 and 52 upthread are funny.
TaMara (BHF)
Oh I miss the days when Cole posted while stoned on painkillers, fun times, fun times.
AliceBlue
@eemom:
All in the Family went where no other show dared to go. Smart, funny, relevant and went for the jugular every time.
Anne Laurie
@debit: __
Chloe’s “I has been to the groomers” photo, with the little blue bow, is my personal choice for Best Balloon Juice Pet Photo EVER.
John - A Motley Moose
This post perfectly illustrates one of the reasons internet discussions go off track. Several readers completely missed the fact that this happened a year ago, even though the post is about a one-year anniversary. How can we hope to have real discussions about more complicated issues?
Anne Laurie
P.S. Could’ve been worse, Cole, you might’ve been falling off the roof:
Clearing Snow Off The Roof Fail – Watch more Funny Videos
debit
@Anne Laurie: When the groomer brought her out with the little bow I think I actually cooed. She is such a good girl. Every day is better because she’s with me.
trixie larue
It sounds like a special time to treasure for always. Maybe you should put some peanuts aside and put them in a little music box or something along that vein. I don’t want to sound all Clarice or anything like that.
But, really, I hope you are not in too much pain and I do hope your surgery and recovery goes well.
And that you did that for Lily. Extra, extra points.
JimK
@John – A Motley Moose:
Makes you wonder about the arguments that ensue from said comments.
fucen tarmal
jeebus, john cole, that ain’t no way to celebrate.
find a script for pain meds from last year in an old jacket pocket or where ever, scratch out the zero with a 1 in 2011, and take the pills watch the tube, and chuck the peanuts around the room as necessary, when appropriate, stand up look around and laugh at what a mess you made.
flukebucket
It’s been a year? Damn, I’m getting old.
JWL
It was a small price to pay for keeping a dog’s paws warm. I mean, you did pick her up again before popping your shoulder back in, didn’t you?
cay
I remember how sad I felt for you that day, and it reminds me of how powerful the intertubes are when it comes to interconnectedness. Lily is one lucky dog.
Lesley
This man broke his bones because his dog’s “FEET GOT COLD.”
I think he’s overdue for a blue ribbon.
asiangrrlMN
Damn, Cole. Has it really been a year? Glad you’re healed up, and yeah, hunker down tomorrow. We don’t want you breaking anything else.
Jebediah
@Wile E. Quixote:
Did the bike survive? Are you still riding it? I was thinking about one of those – it looks to me like it would be a perfect commuter that would still be a lot of fun.
You’ve got me beat with the accident – it took me a month (to the day) after bringing home my first ever brand-new, not used bike to run into a cement parking block that someone had helpfully left in the middle of the street. Apparently some folks had been drag racing on the street perpendicular to the one I was one and the parking block was their finish line. It was night time, I didn’t see it until I was about to hit it. It launched the bike and I into the air, and the funniest part of the whole thing was that while airborne I kept thinking “I can land this, it’s going to be OK.” Eventually, reality intruded…
But that didn’t get me to the trauma room – that required fracturing my neck while riding my mountain bike. That got me a helicopter ride!
And ditto the kudos for Cole for injuring himself for the sake of a dog… I bet you’d do it again if it meant protecting Lily. She’s a lucky pup.
harlana
@Comrade Mary: Omigosh, that is hilarious!
Poor, poor John!
Jamey: Bike Commuter of the Gods
Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to just to watch a Steelers game, but whatever makes you happy, JC.
A Humble Lurker
@JenJen:
Which he keeps in a pretty cabinet.
taylormattd
Wow, I can’t believe that was a year ago. I had recently lost my job at that point.
Good riddance to 2010.
mrmobi
Cole, I just love it that you wouldn’t let Lilly’s feet get cold. Good on you, and this blog.
Wile E. Quixote
@Jebediah:
You got a helicopter ride? Ouch! Heck, the only reason they turned the siren on when they transferred me from Highline to Harborview was that I nagged them to. No, I don’t ride any more. Monday the 17th is the eighth anniversary of my accident, Tuesday, the 16th of March, is the eighth anniversary of my release from Harborview, where my career as a bilaterally symmetrical, bipedal life form ended on the 21st of February, 2003. I could ride, I know amputees who do, there are electric shifter kits you can easily retrofit onto an existing bike, but I don’t need my friends to worry about me any more than they already have.
The SV-650 is a great bike though. It’s affordable, tons of fun, fairly powerful for a starter bike and can be easily modified to put out more horsepower and torque if you decide that you want something faster but don’t want to buy a new bike. I think it’s one of the best starter bikes out there, most 500s lack features like rear disk brakes and are good bikes to learn on, but are quickly outgrown and while the Sportster 650 is a great bike it’s hard to find one at MSRP at a Harley dealer.
Jebediah
@Wile E. Quixote:
Oy – I’m sorry, I didn’t know your accident had been so serious – I’m glad it wasn’t any worse. Mine sounds worse than it was, and getting med-evac’ed out of the canyon was sort of fun, the ride up to the helicopter in the basket was a little tense. One of the EMT’s was having trouble figuring out the straps that were going to be holding me in the basket. Luckily for me, someone checked her work before they hauled me up into the air… and then of course i couldn’t look out the windows or anything, since I was strapped to the backboard with a neckbrace on.