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You are here: Home / Organizing & Resistance / Fables Of The Reconstruction / What was that all about?

What was that all about?

by Dennis G.|  January 25, 201111:42 pm| 118 Comments

This post is in: Fables Of The Reconstruction, Glibertarianism, Republican Stupidity, Clown Shoes

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In Paul Ryan’s word string he gave in response to the SOTU there was this odd reference to Abraham Lincoln:

Their day of reckoning has arrived. Ours is around the corner. That is why we must act now.

Some people will back away from this challenge. But I see this challenge as an opportunity to rebuild what Lincoln called the “central ideas” of the Republic.

Even in the context of Ryan’s word string this citation of Lincoln makes no sense at all, but if you go back the the speech where Lincoln describes what he defines as the “central ideas” of the Republic–then Ryan’s word string seems all the more disconnected from historical reality:

Our government rest in public opinion. Whoever can charge public opinion, can change the government, practically just so much. Public opinion, or [on?] any subject, always has a “central idea,” from which all its minor thoughts radiate. That “Central idea” in our political public opinion at the beginning was, and until recently has continued to be, “the equality of men.” And although it was always submitted patiently to whatever of inequality there seemed to be as matter of actual necessity, its constant working has been a steady progress towards the practical equality of all men. The late Presidential election was a struggle, by one party, to discard that central idea, may be the perpetuity of human slavery, and its extension to all countries and colors. Less than a year ago, the Richmond Enquirer, an avowed advocate of slavery, regardless of color, in order to favor his views, invented the phrase, “State equality,” and now the President, in his Message, adopts the Enquirer’s catch-phrase, telling us the people “have asserted the constitutional equality of each and all the States of the Union as States.” The President flatters himself that the new central idea is completely inaugurated; and so, indeed, it is, so far as the mere fact of a Presidential election can inaugurate it. To us it is left to know that the majority of the people have not yet declared for it, and to hope that they never will.

All of us who did not vote for Mr. Buchanan, taken together, are a majority of four hundred thousand. But, in the late contest we were divided between Fremont and Fillmore. Can we not come together, for the future. Let every one who really believes, and is resolved, that free society is not, and shall not be, a failure, and who can conscientiously declare that in the past contest he has done only what he thought best — let every such one have charity to believe that every other one can say as much. Thus let bygones be bygones. Let past differences, as nothing be; and with steady eye on the real issue, let us reinaugurate the good old “Central ideas” of the Republic. We can do it. The human heart is with us— God is with us. We shall again be able not to declare, that “all States as States, are equal,” nor yet that “all citizens as citizens are equal,” but to renew the broader, better declaration, including both these and much more, that “all men are created equal.”

I think Ryan was referencing Lincoln’s observation that he who controls public opinion “can change the government” and that somehow he thought that was Lincoln’s “central ideas” of the Republic.

Perhaps Ryan took this tack because including Lincoln’s real central idea–that ALL men are created as equals–would contradict his road map for the continued survival of the richest and his very active glibertarian fantasy life. More than that Lincoln specifically attacks the notions of ‘States Rights’ and the theft of labor and liberty through the institution of slavery. It is hard to see anything in Lincoln’s record, words or deeds that would lend support to anything Ryan had to say or his extremely radical beliefs.

And yet, the idea of Lincoln was something he wanted to include and so he did–even as his word string had to take Lincoln’s words completely out of context and Ryan’s ideas are completely at odds with everything Lincoln ever stood for.

I found it to be the most jaw dropping moment of his performance piece.

Weird.

cheers

dengre

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Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    BGinCHI

    January 25, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    This links up nicely with Bachmann’s crazy “the founders worked to end slavery” gibberish from the other day. They would both really, really like to substitute a strict constructionist, narrow version of the founders (with crucial updates) for Lincoln. For these historical retards, the old white privileged dudes are all the progress anyone should ever want, and Lincoln is famous and popular but oh so inconvenient.

    It’s like a White Power move but with Founders instead of fascists.

  2. 2.

    Tom Hilton

    January 25, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Don’t recall the precise formulation off the top, but Lincoln also explicitly embraced ideas that Ryan would deride as ‘socialist’ and an unconstitutional expansion of federal power.

    I’m convinced that the only reason they put Ryan out there is that they think Obama’s power lies in the size of his ears.

  3. 3.

    Tom Hilton

    January 25, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    wtf w/the moderation bullshit? There aren’t even any goddamn links.

  4. 4.

    Davis X. Machina

    January 25, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    The word ‘socia1st’ contains, when spelled normally, the name of an erectile dysfunction drug that features prominently in spam.

  5. 5.

    Joshua Norton

    January 25, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    They quote everything like they’re quoting the bible. Grabbing pieces from here and there that give the impression of agreeing with them and hope no one who’s listening has the knowledge and the courage to call them on it.

  6. 6.

    srv

    January 25, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    It is going to be fun watching Ryan try to out crazy Bachmann for the next two years.

  7. 7.

    BGinCHI

    January 25, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    Didn’t get to see Bachmann’s speech.

    How crazy was it?

    Make up your own scale.

  8. 8.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 25, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    @Tom Hilton: soshulist has a letter stream that matches some boehner pills, triggers a spam setting
    ETA: d’oh, didn’t see your post, Davis

  9. 9.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 25, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    @BGinCHI: On a scale of minnow to tuna, it was a sea lion.

  10. 10.

    RalfW

    January 25, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    What creeps me out is that I just watched the Matthews-Russo takedown, and in the intro to the piece, Michele Bachmann is blathering about whether, after 21 generations, this will be the last.

    So in that paranoid, millennialist, rapturite world, is Paul “day of reckoning” Ryan buying in too? Dog whistle, anyone?

  11. 11.

    sharl

    January 25, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Well, Dennis G., it has been a great day for learning new things about the history of this Glorious Republic: the Lincoln thing you mentioned; Bachmann’s news about our Founding Fathers fighting to end slavery (I’ll bet they fought Mothra too; the truth is likely being hidden from us); and from this very site, this from commenter hells littlest angel:

    And yet, on January 1, 1863, shortly before his 132nd birthday, Washington wept with joy as he handed a quill to his young protege, Abe Lincoln, who used it to sign the Emancipation Proclamation. Washington turned to his old friend Thomas Jefferson, who would soon turn 120, and said, “At last our struggle to free the slaves is ended. You’ll have to pay to fuck them now.”

    I’ve learned a lot of new stuff today.

  12. 12.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 12:00 am

    @BGinCHI:

    “Make up your own scale.”

    It would still be off the scale, IMVHO.

  13. 13.

    Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen

    January 26, 2011 at 12:01 am

    @BGinCHI: Just based on what I’ve read here on a scale of Q to 11 it was Pantaloons.

  14. 14.

    Dennis G.

    January 26, 2011 at 12:02 am

    @BGinCHI:
    I missed it. Life is too short to spend time with second string carnies.

    She is an accomplished grifter and I’ll give her that. And she plays up the ‘Crazy’ with great skill as it is how she appeals to the marks. But I don’t need to watch every grifter working the Midway to know they are there.

    Cheers

  15. 15.

    The Dangerman

    January 26, 2011 at 12:02 am

    @BGinCHI:

    How crazy was it?

    Before I rate it, I’ll state that I thought Ryan’s response was reasonable.

    Bachmann’s was Palinesque (not a word, but neither is refudiate). The ignorance oozed through the screen and puddled at my feet like a cheap Ed Wood movie.

  16. 16.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 12:03 am

    @RalfW: Bachmann has been talking about this 21 generations thing before. Like there is some alternative world where everyone has kids and is retired by ten or eleven.

    Is that some kind of code for something? Is she sending secret signals, over the teevee?

  17. 17.

    Donut

    January 26, 2011 at 12:03 am

    @BGinCHI

    It went to 11.

  18. 18.

    General Stuck

    January 26, 2011 at 12:04 am

    Well, if you are going to make a threat, best to quote Lincoln I would think. They mean to undo HCR, kill it deader than Julius Caesar. it is an existential threat to their worldview, but more importantly they fear it as a mortal electoral wound to the GOP, if it ever is fully implemented.

    They are not entirely off the wall with this fear, and the vibes I get from them is a willingness to lay economic waste to it all, if it comes to that. And even if they are bluffing, these idiots could well accomplish that end by accident.

  19. 19.

    Dennis G.

    January 26, 2011 at 12:04 am

    @sharl:
    The living history of wingnutopia. The theme park ride in crazy town should be excellent.

  20. 20.

    The Dangerman

    January 26, 2011 at 12:06 am

    @Dennis G.:

    The theme park ride in crazy town should be excellent.

    I want to ride the roller coaster where we had to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki to save lives.

  21. 21.

    Donut

    January 26, 2011 at 12:07 am

    And not because of what she said, necessarily. It was the whole presentation. Lighting, make up, the off-center placement of TelePrompTer that forced her to always be looking off to her right, never at camera, and topped off with cheesy graphs that looked like they were copied and pasted from an Excel file.

    Total train wreck. Unforgettable.

  22. 22.

    rikyrah

    January 26, 2011 at 12:09 am

    You expect REALITY from a Republican?

    and they say I am a dreamer.

  23. 23.

    The Dangerman

    January 26, 2011 at 12:09 am

    @Donut:

    …and topped off with cheesy graphs that looked like they were copied and pasted from an Excel file.

    With background graphics that looks like they went for the low bidder (meaning, some poor schmuck isn’t getting his or her invoice paid; I’ve seen better work in High School reports).

  24. 24.

    BGinCHI

    January 26, 2011 at 12:09 am

    @Dennis G.: As an old friend of Richard Faucett, a big hello.

    Former Athens dweller here. Been a while.

  25. 25.

    BGinCHI

    January 26, 2011 at 12:15 am

    Thanks for the descriptions of Bachmann’s “all cued up for SNL” speech. Fifty bucks Lorne Michaels hatched the idea and paid CNN to run it.

    He needs the material.

    In the sketch they should have her doing it while Palin (Tina Fey, natch) coaches her off-camera. That’s who she’s staring at.

    This shit writes itself.

  26. 26.

    tkogrumpy

    January 26, 2011 at 12:15 am

    When appealing to the lizard brain single words are sufficient. Complex concept are out. So, it’s Lincoln, states rights,Liberty, freedom, blah, blah blah.

  27. 27.

    Dennis G.

    January 26, 2011 at 12:15 am

    @BGinCHI:
    And a big hello back at you!

    Cheers

  28. 28.

    GregB

    January 26, 2011 at 12:17 am

    Bachmann’s stage craft looked like it was organized by the same guy who did Saddam’s impromptu sets when he was rallying Iraqis as the bombs rained down on Baghdad.

  29. 29.

    srv

    January 26, 2011 at 12:18 am

    I think we have just run out of any rational understanding of Wingnut Physics. It’s like we need a new theory, Theory of Wingularity or something that is as alien to us as Einstein’s shit was to people in 1905.

  30. 30.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 26, 2011 at 12:20 am

    Rachel’s discussing Bachmann, with choreography. Oh, commercial, she’ll talk about it in a minute

  31. 31.

    Violet

    January 26, 2011 at 12:21 am

    @Donut:
    You missed the weird peach colored chair plopped in front of the American flag for some reason. It added to the sense that this whole thing had just been thrown together. Made it look like maybe they were recording it in grandma’s living room. Seriously rinky dink feel.

  32. 32.

    Spaghetti Lee

    January 26, 2011 at 12:21 am

    Yes, the day of reckoning is indeed here, right around the corner. We must decide to make the tough decisions, and in the future we must be willing to act now. Freedom may not have a price, but it is something that all Americans must strive to protect in all forms.

    Did I get the syntax about right?

  33. 33.

    Violet

    January 26, 2011 at 12:22 am

    @tkogrumpy:
    You forgot “Iwoo Jemma”

  34. 34.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 12:24 am

    @jl: Maybe she’s measuring from Plymouth, 1620, when the Pilgrims got some help from the local Food Bank and Habitats for Humanity, social workers teaching the immigrants how to find food and build houses that don’t rot.

  35. 35.

    The Dangerman

    January 26, 2011 at 12:24 am

    My favorite was her talking over the picture over the flag raising at Iwo Jima; it didn’t match her bumbling words well (though Iwo Jima was certainly a better call than their clear desire to use a noose and a white sheet for their imagery).

  36. 36.

    FlipYrWhig

    January 26, 2011 at 12:25 am

    Doesn’t it just mean that Ryan is citing Lincoln for the idea that the country has a “central idea”? It doesn’t sound like he was trying to say that it was the same “central idea,” just that the country has an idea. I don’t know why you need Lincoln to do that, but I guess it makes you seem statesmanlike to quote Great Men Of History.

  37. 37.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 12:26 am

    @General Stuck:

    could well accomplish that end by accident.

    Well isn’t this what we expect to happen anyway? No matter who, or what (zombies), causes it?

  38. 38.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 12:26 am

    “in the future we must be willing to act now.”

    That makes sense. I missed it, though. Was that in Ryan’s or Bachmann’s speech?

  39. 39.

    El Cid

    January 26, 2011 at 12:26 am

    The words of our Founders are not merely documents rigidly set in stone — they are living documents which allow us to change with them as our nation’s needs change.

    Thus, Lincoln really did mean whatever the GOP said he meant.

  40. 40.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 12:28 am

    This is a test.

    Flurven.

    Gimmelbop.

    Hammock.

    Hellhammock of welfare state slavery and human devolution bondage evil.

  41. 41.

    Davis X. Machina

    January 26, 2011 at 12:28 am

    @jl: Yogi Berra’s. But then, predictions are tough, especially about the future.

  42. 42.

    MikeJ

    January 26, 2011 at 12:29 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich: Many people don’t realise “Wampanoag” actually means “community organizer.”

  43. 43.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 12:30 am

    @El Cid:

    The words of our Founders are not merely documents rigidly set in stone—they are living documents which allow us to change with them as our nation’s needs change.

    Good point heh?
    Constructionism has its price, an easy Straw Man.

  44. 44.

    FlipYrWhig

    January 26, 2011 at 12:32 am

    “in the future we must be willing to act now.”

    @jl: Isn’t that from Plan 9 From Outer Space?

  45. 45.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Huh, who woulda thunk. I tried to post a comment about the Daily Show’s Stockholm Syndrome segment that presciently explained, or foreshadowed if you will, the meaning and fell import of Ryan’s hammock metaphor to you sheeples and clueless doubters. But this miserable lefty blog ate my comment (part of a conspiracy, sure enough)

    I thought flurven and gimmelbop were forbidden words.

    Why didn’t Ryan invoke Sweden? That would have sealed the deal with the good people of the U.S.

  46. 46.

    Allan

    January 26, 2011 at 12:33 am

    @GregB: If Michele Bachmann’s husband Marcus had been asked to decorate the set, I’m sure it would have been fabulous.

  47. 47.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 12:36 am

    Oh, the irony! Or, double irony! Or triple!

    The new party of the “states’ rights”- which they won’t admit meant the right to perpetuate slavery- using the man most responsible for expanding the federal government at the expense of those “states’ rights”…BY MISQUOTING HIM!

    The meta-ness is going to make my head explode.

  48. 48.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 12:36 am

    @MikeJ: Too bad the local community organizers didn’t realize a tidal wave that would outnumber them 1000-1 was on its way. The tribes that administered the “final solution” had the right idea.

  49. 49.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 12:38 am

    @FlipYrWhig: I dig your handle. That is one of my favorite albums. Its in the cd visor of my beater pickup. And there is no higher honor.

  50. 50.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 12:40 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):

    The meta-ness is going to make my head explode.

    Goddammit! I hate it when postmodernists are right.

  51. 51.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 12:43 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich: I got out my trusty calculator.

    I think the traditional reckoning of a generation is 33 years, so
    1789: 7 generations
    1620: 12
    1492: 16

    If a generation is 30 to 33 years, then 21 of them gets back to the last half of the fourteenth century. She’s talking about the Plague?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourteenth_century

    Now maybe she is weaving in her ideas about women’s rights, so let’s try 20 (they should all have kids by then and the wimmin should be in the kitchen, so they are set for life.)
    1789: 11 generations
    1620: 20
    1492: 26

    I guess a 20 year generation since Plymouth Rock, or Jamestown.

    I rounded up the generations.

    You people figure it out, it’s too many for me to grapple with anymore.

  52. 52.

    sharl

    January 26, 2011 at 12:50 am

    Some other historical material ol’ Crazee-Eyes could use, from Firesign Theatre’s I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus:

    Sounds: The [previous] line merges with a rolling of thunder. Wolves howl.

    Voice Of God: Before the Beginning there was this Turtle. And the Turtle was alone. And he looked around, and he saw his neighbor, which was his Mother. And he lay down on top of his neighbor, and behold, she bore him in tears, an oak tree. Which grew all day, and then fell over, like a bridge. And lo, under the bridge there came a Catfish, and he was very big, and he was walking, and he was the biggest he had seen. [Fading] And so were the firey [sic] balls of this fish, one of which is the Sun, and the other, they called the Moon…

    Expert Voice: Yes, some uncomplicated peoples still believe this myth. But here, in the technical vastness of the Future, we can guess that surely the Past was very different. We can surmise, for instance, that these two great balls… [Cross fading]

    Dr. Technical [fading up]: We know for certain, for instance, that for some reason, for some time in the beginning, there were hot lumps. Cold and lonely, they whirled noiselessly through the black holes of space. Those insignificant lumps came together to form the first union—our Sun, the heating system. And about this glowing gasbag rotated the Earth, a cat’s-eye among aggies, blinking in astonishment acros the Face of Time…

  53. 53.

    pointer

    January 26, 2011 at 12:51 am

    Lincoln’s central idea is that all men are created equal. Modern conservatism’s central idea is that the white man is the victim.

    Quod erat demonstrandum, baby.

  54. 54.

    freelancer

    January 26, 2011 at 12:51 am

    @jl:

    Wingnutitis ate your calculator. Same disease that turns 4,600,000,000 years into 6,000 years. It’s only off by an order of patriotude.

  55. 55.

    FlipYrWhig

    January 26, 2011 at 12:53 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich: Hüsker! I just slipped in an h to make Whig. And stole the “Yr” from Sonic Youth.

  56. 56.

    NobodySpecial

    January 26, 2011 at 12:54 am

    Well, Bachmann’s speech gave me one very important piece of information: Now I know where all the Four Loko went.

  57. 57.

    goatchowder

    January 26, 2011 at 12:57 am

    Yes. The central idea of Ryan is that the corporations who control the media, the money, and the massive propaganda machine of the modern world, thereby control public opinion, and we and all government must properly bow to them.

    Seriously. Ryan’s idea is Goebbel’s idea: the people always be brought to heel by massive propaganda.

    And, if we ignore the propaganda, and defy the corporations who control public opinion, we are abandoning that “central idea”.

    It is at quite a variance indeed from the point Lincoln was making.

  58. 58.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:02 am

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Dammit! I hadn’t been able to place your handle. I knew it was familiar. HD&SY are full of win. Must now listen to and share) something from Bad Moon Rising.

  59. 59.

    sharl

    January 26, 2011 at 1:02 am

    …continued…

    First Male Lecturer: [lecture room noises, voice quiet in the room] Well, we were covered with a molten scum of rocks, bobbing on the surface like rats. Later, when there was less heat, these giant rock groups settled down among the land masses. During this extinct time, our Earth was like a steamroom, and no one, not even man, could get in. [coughs start in audience] However, the oceans and the sewers were simmering with a rich protein stew, and the mountains moved in to surround and protect them. They didn’t know then that living as we know it was already taken over. Thank you. [a round of applause, constant coughs begin]

    Second Male Lecturer: [brief rustling of paper] Animals without… backbones… hid from each other, or fell down. Clamosaurs and oysterettes appeared as appetizers. Then came the sponges, which sucked up about 10%… of all life. [more rustling] [clears throat] Hundreds of years later, in the Late Devouring Period, fish became obnoxious. [clears throat] Trailerbikes, chiggerbites, and miskweetoes collided aimlessly in the dense gas. Finally [bit more rustling], tiny, edible plants sprang up in rows, giving birth to generations of insecticides and other small, dying creatures. Thank you. [applause, new rumbling sound sets in]

    Male Voice With Throaty Reverb: [some African flutes and drums play] Millions of months passed, and, 28 days later, the moon appeared. This small change was reflected best, perhaps, in the sand dollar, which shrank to almost nothing at the bottom of the pool, where even dumb amphibeans, like catfish, laid their eggs in the boiling waters, only to be gobbled up every three minutes by the giant sea orphans and jungle bunnies, which scared everybody. [music begins to build] And so, IN FEAR AND HOT WATER, [music approaches a climax] MAN IS BORN!!

    source (in comments)

  60. 60.

    MikeJ

    January 26, 2011 at 1:03 am

    @goatchowder:

    Ryan’s idea is Goebbel’s idea

    Uh oh. Jon Stewart will say you’re not being nice.

    You know who else called people Nazis?

  61. 61.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 1:08 am

    Obama’s innovation and competition program is already kicking in. ‘Fill from the bottom’ two second beers at sports stadiums in Philadelphia. Just heard the news story.

    Obamafascicommunism works!

  62. 62.

    goatchowder

    January 26, 2011 at 1:08 am

    Oh, and only one Founder that I know of worked to abolish slavery: http://www.archives.gov/legislative/features/franklin/
    It was the last time he spoke publicly before he died.

  63. 63.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:11 am

    @jl:

    The hell you say! That’s more Stalinist than when Jimmy Carter forced the move away from pull-tab cans! Prepare for war!

  64. 64.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:11 am

    @jl: Wasn’t about 14-25 the prime child-bearing years?

  65. 65.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 1:13 am

    @goatchowder: Alexander Hamilton too. He wanted to pressure the Southern states to abolish slavery during the Revolution. Washington quashed that idea.

    Washington did free his slaves at his death, and his will set up a private education and vocational training program for them. That counts as a grass roots effort, I would guess.

  66. 66.

    xian

    January 26, 2011 at 1:14 am

    I love that crazy-eyes bachmann’s chart shows obama reining in the catastrophic bush employment collapse.

  67. 67.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:15 am

    @FlipYrWhig: Sweet.

    I still have Metal Circus on the original cassette, gathering dust in my shed somewhere. New Day Rising is on my iPod.

  68. 68.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 1:16 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): And what kind of American sports fan are you?

    I will explain it slowly to you:

    They will be able to pour a beer in TWO SECONDS for you when you attend a professional sporting competition in Philly.

    Oh, Brave New World!

  69. 69.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:16 am

    @goatchowder:

    I’m really surprised that this registration-free site doesn’t get trolled more by the idiots like those I came across two weekends ago at Crooks & Liars, who were trying to sell the idea that the 3/5 Clause was an act of abolitionism rather than a compromise to get the southern states to ratify the Constitution.

  70. 70.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:17 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): Oooo, I loved the full money guarantee on my hair products. When did u-tube start running ads?

  71. 71.

    freelancer

    January 26, 2011 at 1:19 am

    @goatchowder:

    From what I’ve read, Paine was against slavery as well. That said, he wasn’t a Theist and he had no prominent place in early American government. Due to his criticism of Christianity, he only had six people attend his funeral in 1809. But I’ll be goddamned if the Wingnuts claim his mantle as one of the seminal Founding Fathers, yet ignore everything he ever wrote or stood for.

  72. 72.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:19 am

    @jl: Community organizing?

  73. 73.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:20 am

    @jl:

    And what kind of American sports fan are you?

    The kind who’s been on the wagon for almost 6 years now, and who tried to forgo the drinking at the stadium in favor of watching the game when I was a drinker?

    And, seriously, those pull-tab cans sucked- too many rings separated from the tab.

  74. 74.

    MikeJ

    January 26, 2011 at 1:20 am

    @jl: This is one of man’s greatest inventions. You are a bastard for not providing a link.

    Pity they’ll probably be serving piss at a stadium, although Safeco has decent beer available.

  75. 75.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:21 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): It was kind of both no? The fact that slaves were over 50% human was the slippery slope that led to a full 5/5. Amiight?

  76. 76.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 1:22 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich: I think it is 30 or 33 years in the Old Testament Bible. THE BIBLE! But I don’t have time to check now, because I am busy making silly comments.

    Edit: crappo. Wikipedia says traditionally, in primitive societies around the world, it is the age at which most women become fertile: sweet 16. In 20th century, it has been lengthened to 25 years. But no citations in the Wiki article, so, not sure how reliable.

    So, 1874, or 1485.

    I better quit. I am getting an unhealthy obsession with what Bachmann is trying to say.

  77. 77.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:23 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich:

    Wait, WHAT? Wasn’t that Death Valley ’69? Fucking Vevo…

  78. 78.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:24 am

    @jl:

    They will be able to pour a beer in TWO SECONDS for you when you attend a professional sporting competition in Philly.

    About goddamned time. If robots are going to take our jobs and information grinding will make me a marketing target, the least I want is a two-second fucking beer!

  79. 79.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 1:27 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):

    Oh, OK.

    But I don’t drink at games either. It’s just the very idea of all that mass consumption! It has a kind of elegant spare beauty that leaves me in awe.

    Anyway, won’t catch me at a game in Philly until they come up with an innovative crowd control program. God forbid this gets over to the Raiduhs. We will all be doomed.

  80. 80.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:29 am

    @jl: Yeah, don’t do that. I was just trying to point our how truly confused she is, mistaking the “founding” of the Republic for the “foundering” of the London Virginia Company.

  81. 81.

    jl

    January 26, 2011 at 1:29 am

    @jl:

    So, 1674 (not 1874), or 1485.

    I am losing it. So will sleep now.

  82. 82.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:29 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich:

    Well, it was only in there for the census and the purpose of portioning out seats in the House, ya know, not like it gave slaves 60% of the rights of others. They didn’t get to vote.

    The slave states wanted them to be counted on the 5/5 basis, which would have given the slave states even more power in the House and the Electoral College(in which a state gets a number of votes based on their seats in the House and Senate).

  83. 83.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 26, 2011 at 1:30 am

    @freelancer:

    They also pointedly ignore Thomas Jefferson’s outright rejection of the divinity of Jesus, which for these loons is heresy of the first order.

  84. 84.

    Mark S.

    January 26, 2011 at 1:31 am

    @jl:

    No, no, keep going. Pretty soon Bachmann will start making sense.

  85. 85.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:32 am

    @jl:

    Anyway, won’t catch me at a game in Philly until they come up with an innovative crowd control program.

    Heh. My dad almost got transferred there when I was 14 or 15 (’79-’80). There but for the grace of God go I.

  86. 86.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:32 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): The video was right, and nice choice BTW, but I got a commercial first about hair care product.

  87. 87.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:35 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich:

    De nada and fucking Vevo…

  88. 88.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:36 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):

    The slave states wanted them to be counted on the 5/5 basis, which would have given the slave states even more power in the House and the Electoral College(in which a state gets a number of votes based on their seats in the House and Senate).

    Sure, basic history. One of many tragic ironies there is that the Southern states acted against their interests by counting their slaves as “people”.

  89. 89.

    freelancer

    January 26, 2011 at 1:37 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Well yes, I know well enough about the Jefferson Bible, but I was thinking about Founding Fathers that objected to slavery.

  90. 90.

    Bootlegger Bootleggerovich

    January 26, 2011 at 1:38 am

    Ok, gotta crash, late on the EST. ‘Nite.

  91. 91.

    Neil G

    January 26, 2011 at 1:38 am

    @RalfW: It seems to be their latest “Armeggedon” strategy. They depend on the knee-jerk reactions to a galvanizing statement so the Tucson fallout has put them in a bind. How do you fire up the patriots if you can’t call Dem’s Nazis and terrorists? How do you equate anyone who holds differing opinions to the nation’s enemies (or history’s worst nightmares) without seeming to call for their deaths? Well, here’s an idea; we’ll ask if this is the last generation for America. Most of their other galvanizing statements have worked so I wouldn’t be too dismissive of this one.

  92. 92.

    jurassicpork

    January 26, 2011 at 1:38 am

    Please help us. Time’s running out.

  93. 93.

    Loneoak

    January 26, 2011 at 1:44 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich:

    Goddammit! I hate it when postmodernists are right.

    Your Grand Narratives, we eats them.

  94. 94.

    Restrung

    January 26, 2011 at 1:51 am

    nahh. Lincoln was a R, so there.

    Or, Lincoln was good, or at least everybody thinks so, so if I say Lincoln, linkin linkin all the time, then I’m all cool too. And he was a Republican. Just Like Me, because I freed the slaves like Lincoln because I’m a Republican. so there. I seriously would have. because he did. except the Wal*Mart slaves. they don’t count.

  95. 95.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:53 am

    @Bootlegger Bootleggerovich:

    One of many tragic ironies there is that the Southern states acted against their interests by counting their slaves as “people”.

    Well, depends on how you look at it. The non-slave states had much greater populations. The interests of the slave states would have been subjected to the will of the more industrialized, more populated northern states. As it worked out, the southern states had far more power than they should have. Look at the percentage of southern Presidents in the antebellum compared to the percentage since the end of the Civil War. And without those extra votes, they couldn’t have forced the Missouri Compromise.

    What shocks me is that when they still had so much power in Congress, the slave states didn’t write more anti-immigration legislature. It was all of that migration to the free soil states from Ireland, Germany and the Empire from, roughly, 1830 on that finally broke the slave states’ hold on Congress and forced the Kansas-Nebraska Act. Never forget that at the same time Lincoln and the GOP were being elected, Kansas was preparing to apply for statehood as a free state- which it received on 1/29/1861.

  96. 96.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 1:54 am

    @Loneoak:

    Hey, who’s going to the Super Bowl?

    :)

  97. 97.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 26, 2011 at 1:54 am

    @freelancer:

    Yeah, but the wingtards swear that they, with their intense desire for a vile Saudi style theocracy, are the true heirs to the Founders, not those crazy liberals.

  98. 98.

    Wile E. Quixote

    January 26, 2011 at 2:00 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):

    @goatchowder:
    __
    I’m really surprised that this registration-free site doesn’t get trolled more by the idiots like those I came across two weekends ago at Crooks & Liars, who were trying to sell the idea that the 3/5 Clause was an act of abolitionism rather than a compromise to get the southern states to ratify the Constitution.

    Dude, it totally was. You see, the 3/5ths compromise meant that the slaves were only 60 percent slaves, so do the McEstimation, being 60 percent of a slave is 40 percent better than being 100 percent of a slave. I mean duh.

  99. 99.

    Loneoak

    January 26, 2011 at 2:02 am

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):

    It sure as hell ain’t Obama! ‘Cuz the Bears still suck!

    Did you see Woodson shit talking Obama? Hilarious.

  100. 100.

    Anne Laurie

    January 26, 2011 at 2:05 am

    @goatchowder:

    Oh, and only one Founder that I know of worked to abolish slavery…

    John Quincy Adams wasn’t exactly a Founding Father, but I think the kidnapped Africans on the Amistad had reason to be grateful his daddy had raised him right.

  101. 101.

    Anne Laurie

    January 26, 2011 at 2:13 am

    @jl:

    Bachmann has been talking about this 21 generations thing before…

    Patriotic-ness broke her calculator!

    (I refuse to use the respectable word ‘patriotism’ in connection to the Teabagger looniness.)

    I suspect the 21-generation thing is some kind of Mormon prophecy filtered through Glenn Beck. Although it may just be the fullmetal batshite-right listening to DFH woo-woo about the ‘seventh generation’ and ramping it up to be, like, THREE TIMES MORE PROPHETIC ! ! !

  102. 102.

    Chuck Butcher

    January 26, 2011 at 2:17 am

    Considering the level of nonsense theater that is the SOTU the GOP and Dems sitting together and the Ryan and Bachman responses amount to about the same thing. I suppose that was a nice enough speech from the Pres but as far as having anything to do with how things go over the next year … well shoot – the House is what it is for the next two years.

  103. 103.

    freelancer

    January 26, 2011 at 2:24 am

    test post.

  104. 104.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    January 26, 2011 at 2:28 am

    @Loneoak:

    Yeah, I caught some of it. :D

    As I told someone else on Sunday: You can’t trust Obama’s NFL picks. Growing up in Hawaii, the closest thing to pro football that he would have experienced was the Pro Bowl.

  105. 105.

    Chris

    January 26, 2011 at 7:59 am

    @Tom Hilton:

    Don’t recall the precise formulation off the top, but Lincoln also explicitly embraced ideas that Ryan would deride as ‘socialist’

    “Labor is prior to and independent of capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.”
    – Abe Lincoln

  106. 106.

    AxelFoley

    January 26, 2011 at 8:04 am

    @BGinCHI:

    Didn’t get to see Bachmann’s speech.
    How crazy was it?
    Make up your own scale.

    On a scale of 1 to 10, she dialed it up to 11.

  107. 107.

    AxelFoley

    January 26, 2011 at 8:07 am

    @Donut:

    @BGinCHI
    It went to 11.

    Shit, beat me to it. I shoulda known somebody would.

  108. 108.

    agrippa

    January 26, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Well, the GOP is not about to cooperate with Democrats. The GOP does not have the ability to cooperate. That, to me, is the bottom line. The GOP will put out all sorts of empty rhetoric; but, at the end of the day, their main concern is: taxes.
    Taxes are taxes the only political issue that really concerns them.

    What really gets them into a conniption fit are cultural issues. There is too much of this ‘diversity’ business.

  109. 109.

    Barkley G

    January 26, 2011 at 8:38 am

    Perhaps Ryan took this tack because including Lincoln’s real central idea—that ALL men are created as equals—would contradict his road map for the continued survival of the richest and his very active glibertarian fantasy life.

    It doesn’t hurt to note, in a Jonah Goldberg fashion, that Ryan is a disciple of Ayn Rand who was a disciple of 19th Century Social Darwinist Thinking.

    It is not surprising that Ryan is motivated about the survival of the fittest.

  110. 110.

    The Tragically Flip

    January 26, 2011 at 8:56 am

    @Barkley G:

    It doesn’t hurt to note, in a Jonah Goldberg fashion, that Ryan is a disciple of Ayn Rand who was a disciple of 19th Century Social Darwinist Thinking.

    Of course, that Lincoln was advocating for the very opposite of what Ryan and Rand believe is central to Ryan’s point.

  111. 111.

    Jay C

    January 26, 2011 at 9:10 am

    @ Dennis G.:

    …all the more disconnected from historical reality

    With all due respect, Mr. G: You’re just noticing this NOW?
    Basic theory for rhetorical analysis in 2011: the accuracy of any historical citation from American history will vary in direct inverse proportion to the ideological bias of the citer.

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):

    Interesting point re North/South and immigration policy: an off-the-guess is that Northern States (who depended in large part on a stream of [white] immigrants for their economic growth) would have simply outvoted the South in Congress to kill any restrictive policy. Although with assclowns like Buchanan in the Executive (who, if he’d gotten his way, would have admitted Kansas as a slave State), who knows what godawful policy might have been pushed through to “keep the peace”

  112. 112.

    drkrick

    January 26, 2011 at 9:11 am

    @jl:

    Washington did free his slaves at his death, and his will set up a private education and vocational training program for them.

    Actually, his will freed them at Martha’s death. She freed them early when she figured out that living on a plantation surrounded by people who were going to be freed when you died wasn’t the safest possible situation.

  113. 113.

    debbie

    January 26, 2011 at 9:13 am

    “Word string.” What a great way to describe Ryan’s delivery. I watched his hour-long interview on Charlie Rose late last year, and he didn’t take a single breath. Even so, he wasn’t able to disguise the fact that his program was a scam job. Isn’t that the usual impression one takes from a fast talker?

    Ryan put me in mind of the character Burt Lancaster played in The Rainmaker.

  114. 114.

    karen marie

    January 26, 2011 at 9:59 am

    @FlipYrWhig: You need Lincoln to prove Republicans aren’t racist.

  115. 115.

    FlipYrWhig

    January 26, 2011 at 10:21 am

    @karen marie: Good point.

  116. 116.

    JWL

    January 26, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    HEADQUARTERS MILITARY DIVISION OF THE MISSISSIPPI,
    IN THE FIELD, ATLANTA, GEORGIA
    September 12, 1864
    JAMES M. CALHOUN, Mayor, E. E. PAWSON and S. C. WELLS, representing City Council of Atlanta.
    GENTLEMEN: I have your letter of the 11th, in the nature of a petition to revoke my orders removing all the inhabitants from Atlanta.  I have read it carefully, and give full credit to your statements of the distress that will be occasioned, and yet shall not revoke my orders, because they were not designed to meet the humanities of the case, but to prepare for the future struggles in which millions of good people outside of Atlanta have a deep interest.  We must have peace , not only at Atlanta, but in all America.  To secure this, we must stop the war that now desolates our once happy and favored country.  To stop war, we must defeat the rebel armies which are arrayed against the laws and Constitution that all must respect and obey.  To defeat those armies, we must prepare the way to reach them in their recesses, provided with the arms and instruments which enable us to accomplish our purpose.
    Now, I know the vindictive nature of our enemy, that we may have many years of military operations from this quarter; and, therefore, deem it wise and prudent to prepare in time.  The use of Atlanta for warlike purposes is inconsistent with its character as a home for families.  There will be no manufactures, commerce, or agriculture here, for the maintenance of families, and sooner or later want will compel the inhabitants to go.  Why not go now, when all the arrangements are completed for the transfer, instead of waiting till the plunging shot of contending armies will renew the scenes of the past month?  Of course, I do not apprehend any such thing at this moment, but you do not suppose this army will be here until the war is over.  I cannot discuss this subject with you fairly, because I cannot impart to you what we propose to do, but I assert that our military plans make it necessary for the inhabitants to go away, and I can only renew my offer of services to make their exodus in any direction as easy and comfortable as possible.
    You cannot qualify war in harsher terms than I will.  War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it; and those who brought war into our country deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out.  I know I had no hand in making this war, and I know I will make more sacrifices to-day than any of you to secure peace.  But you cannot have peace and a division of our country.  If the United States submits to a division now, it will not stop, but will go on until we reap the fate of Mexico, which is eternal war.  The United States does and must assert its authority, wherever it once had power; for, if it relaxes one bit to pressure, it is gone, and I believe that such is the national feeling.  This feeling assumes various shapes, but always comes back to that of Union.  Once admit the Union, once more acknowledge the authority of the national Government, and, instead of devoting your houses and streets and roads to the dread uses of war, I and this army become at once your protectors and supporters, shielding you from danger, let it come from what quarter it may.  I know that a few individuals cannot resist a torrent of error and passion, such as swept the South into rebellion, but you can point out, so that we may know those who desire a government, and those who insist on war and its desolation.
    You might as well appeal against the thunder-storm as against these terrible hardships of war.  They are inevitable, and the only way the people of Atlanta can hope once more to live in peace and quiet at home, is to stop the war, which can only be done by admitting that it began in error and is perpetuated in pride.
    We don’t want your negroes, or your horses, or your houses, or your lands, or any thing you have, but we do want and will have a just obedience to the laws of the United States.  That we will have, and, if it involves the destruction of your improvements, we cannot help it. 
You have heretofore read public sentiment in your newspapers, that live by falsehood and excitement; and the quicker you seek for truth in other quarters, the better.  I repeat then that, by the original compact of Government, the United States had certain rights in Georgia, which have never been relinquished and never will be; that the South began war by seizing forts, arsenals, mints, customhouses, etc., etc., long before Mr. Lincoln was installed, and before the South had one jot or tittle of provocation.  I myself have seen in Missouri, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Mississippi, hundreds and thousands of women and children fleeing from your armies and desperadoes, hungry and with bleeding feet.  In Memphis, Vicksburg, and Mississippi, we fed thousands upon thousands of the families of rebel soldiers left on our hands, and whom we could not see starve.
    Now that war comes home to you, you feel very different.  You deprecate its horrors, but did not feel them when you sent car-loads of soldiers and ammunition, and moulded shells and shot, to carry war into Kentucky and Tennessee, to desolate the homes of hundreds and thousands of good people who only asked to live in peace at their old homes, and under the Government of their inheritance.  But these comparisons are idle.  I want peace, and believe it can only be reached through union and war, and I will ever conduct war with a view to perfect and early success.
    But, my dear sirs, when peace does come, you may call on me for any thing.  Then will I share with you the last cracker, and watch with you to shield your homes and families against danger from every quarter.
    Now you must go, and take with you the old and feeble, feed and nurse them, and build for them, in more quiet places, proper habitations to shield them against the weather until the mad passions of men cool down, and allow the Union and peace once more to settle over your old homes at Atlanta. 
    Yours in haste,
    W. T. SHERMAN, Major-General commanding.

  117. 117.

    Dennis G.

    January 26, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    @JWL:
    Back in the day, treason had consequences.

    Uncle Billy could write a nice letter. I wonder if that is where the term ‘cracker’ came from…

  118. 118.

    Derek H

    January 27, 2011 at 2:45 am

    Thank you for bringing this up! It blew my mind last night. In fact, I’ve noticed quite a few “You know, Lincoln was a Republican” statements online in the past few weeks. I’m not sure WHY it blows my mind anymore; ten minutes with Glen Beck’s chalkboard is all one needs to see to understand we’re not dealing with rational people.

    @JWL. Love the post. I’ve been revisiting Sherman’s bio these days myself.

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