Matt Yglesais on why Thune should run now:
The only thing we really know about John Thune’s prospects in 2012 is that for semi-mysterious reasons he’s currently considered a more plausible candidate than Jon Kyl or Jim Risch or Roger Wicker or John Barrasso or Mike Johanns or any number of other unremarkable conventional conservative Republicans. Will this still be true in 2016?
The reason isn’t semi-mysterious, it’s clearly Thune’s sun-chapped prairie good looks. This is all the more reason for Thune to run now, by 2016 some younger barefoot boy with cheek of tan might catch Bobo’s eye.
Poopyman
Ewwww.
That is all.
cathyx
Is he attractive to gay men? Because he’s not attractive to this straight female.
Violet
Same reason Palin must run this cycle. Her jowls are already evident. She doesn’t have four more years.
Well, Hello there, Marco Rubio.
Chat Noir
LOL.
DougJ, your post titles are almost as good as your posts.
freelancer
I saw this post title from the thread downstairs and
1) I knew it was authored by AW@BJ.
2) I thought it was gonna be about James O’Keefe.
ETA:
In point of fact, it COULD be about O’Keefe.
Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)
He’s not *as* unattractive to straight women as, say, TPaw, or Huck, or (gagging) Newtie. But they’re all pretty ghastly to moderate straight women, not to mention those of us who are DFHs.
Violet
@cathyx:
Once they “hard working ranch hand”-ify him, he’ll be more attractive to Republican females.
dmsilev
Wasn’t one of the reasons that Fred Thompson was going to win the race was that people would swoon at his rugged good looks? I guess swooning and snoozing are easy to get confused.
dms
KG
the other reason he should run now is the Republicans don’t typically nominate a guy running for the first time. By the by, PPP has a new poll out showing Huckabee pulling away from the pack among Republicans, nationally. I don’t see how Huckabee swings any states that went to Obama last time, and the most recent polls have him losing in Virginia, Ohio, North Carolina, and Florida, but he’s at least closer in a few of those states than many of the other potential nominees.
All I know is that in 2008 when I mentioned Huckabee my mom (who I’m not sure has ever voted for a Democrat) said, “no fucking way, I’ll vote for Obama first.”
Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)
@freelancer: That’s just cold. I knew it was DougJ, son of DougJ and figured it was perhaps an explanation of Michele B’s recent travels. Oh, wait, I have seen Stuck and DougJ in the same thread. Never mind.
dmsilev
@Violet: This remains the gold standard for that sort of process. ‘Big bad John’.
dms
A Writer At Balloon-Juice
@Chat Noir:
Thank you.
When the others turn you off, who’ll be turning you on?
williamc
I think a lot of this has to do with the kind of gays that the Republicans attract. Then-Senator Obama was caught multiple times shirtless during the 2008 campaign and gay men and most women swooned; John Thune just looks like the type that old white closet queens would be into.
toujoursdan
@cathyx:
No.
Signed, a gay man
Morbo
FTFY
Captain Haddock
He makes Chris Matthew’s nipples hard.
salacious crumb
if not Thune, then I want Levi Johnston or that o’Keefe kid (who tried to punk ACORN) to run for President
Mark S.
I was looking for something else and ran across this:
If you’re a gooper and you can’t beat Kenyatta in Bob Fucking Jones Nullification Confederate Flag Land, not only should you not run for president, you should drown yourself in your toilet.
BGinCHI
All the Young Dudes/One of the Boys
KG
@Mark S.: Newt and Palin also put Texas and Arizona in play (Obama leads Palin in Arizona, but all the races seem to be in the margin of error).
ETA: I really am not sure that Palin can get to 100 electoral votes.
Cris
I will. I will. I will. I will.
Southern Beale
Will Americans really vote for a president who, every time you say his name aloud, you sound like you have a speech impediment? I think NOT!
:-)
BGinCHI
@Southern Beale: Like Ethel Thayer.
The loons!
Tonybrown74
@cathyx:
Hell to the No!
Signed,
A black gay commenter at Balloon Juice
suzanne
@Violet: The first time I saw Marco Rubio speak (on TV), I said to myself, “He looks presidential. They’d be stupid not to nominate him.” The GOP really does have this history of nominating ugly mofos. Which is reason #584 that it pisses me off when they rag on Hillary and Nancy Smash.
Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)
@A Writer At Balloon-Juice: You’re all I need. Which was mentioned in a local murder trial (third trial)testimony yesterday by the much anticipated newly discovered “confession” witness. Not being of the cohort to recognize the allusion to that lyric, I was, well, not comforted. Ick.
eemom
OMG, freakin Neil Sedaka and The Captain and Tenille?? Have you no mercy???
Polar Bear Squares
Is it bad form to point out how weird conservatives sound when describing their presidential candidates and politicians? They’re always going on and on about how strong their candidates look and how hot Bachmann and Palin are.
I really get the feeling they would not only like them to run the country but … you know … to do it with them.
Cris
@eemom: Sedaka is back
Calouste
@Mark S.:
Interesting tidbit from that poll is that none of the possible Republican candidates gets the 9% margin that McCain got in 2008.
david mizner
Thune’s got a TARP problem.
I find him repellent, but then I find all Republican men repellent, except maybe for David Lynch, who I heard is a Republican.
Linda Featheringill
@cathyx:
I was wondering about that because he isn’t attractive to this bi female, either.
I even went to his official senate site to get what I assumed would be the best picture. Nothing. If he were my neighbor and I had a 10-year-old grandson, I would not ask him to babysit.
Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)
@eemom: Though I’m actually *in* that cohort, I did not get the allusion. Ick, again.
Cris
but liberals are the real sexists
Davis X. Machina
How would American politics have changed if botox had been invented in, say, 1820, or color photography in 1830?
Zifnab
/checks the GOP line-up
Old white guy
Old white guy
Old white guy
Not-as-old white guy
Old fat white guy
Caribou Barbi
You know, if the Democrats wanted to just walk away with the election in 2016, they could do themselves a lot of favors by positioning a strong Hispanic Senator or Governor in 2012. Or, you know, a woman.
Hillary Clinton’s run for President was a long time coming. Even though she didn’t win, she gave Democrats as a whole a lot of traction in the female base.
Honestly, I’m wondering whether Republicans will manage to field anyone in ’12 that looks better than Bob Dole did in ’96. All this talk of “positioning for 2016” doesn’t strike me as optimistic “We’re gonna beat Obama” talk.
bemused
Seriously? Thune is a GOP hottie? I think Thune has more than a passing resemblance to the Church Lady (Dana Carvey).
Conservative women swooned over Donald Rumsfeld and Ari Fleischer once upon a time, eeew.
Tom Q
@Mark S.: Actually, amazingly, Obama came within 8 points of carrying SC last time (as opposed to high double digits losses in the rest of the South). He’ll never win there, but huge black participation can boost him higher than you’d expect.
Cris
Seriously
Southern Beale
Whatever happened to that guy who was mayor of Houston or whatever? Forgot his name … Handsome, Latino, strong Democrat … this was back in the ’90s … anyone?
aimai
@dmsilev:
Well, both involve closed eyes, so its easy to get confused.
aimai
Southern Beale
@bemused:
Really? I thought that was Tweety and the editors at Vanity Fair. Conservative women thought John Roberts was teh hawt. They like that flat hair and white, pasty complexion.
freelancer
@bemused:
When you’re this kinda hammer, every xenophobic, petty, old-as-dirt, white man looks like a nail.
Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)
@bemused: But remember, “GOP hottie” is something like a term of art. It means, roughly, not an old/old&fat white not-preening-queen guy who looks like a used car salesman if old and like Boss Hogg if old&fat. So it’s actually a pretty low bar.
eemom
somebody recently said Thune was the republican John Edwards (except for the fucking around on dying wife part). I.e., one-term pretty boy senator who never actually accomplished anything, but somebody got it into their head that he had great potential for leadership and he believed it.
freelancer
@Southern Beale:
Matt Santos is fiction, honey.
Tom Q
@eemom: Mostly accurate — though the fact that Edwards had been such a hugely successful trial lawyer in NC perusaded some he had a bit more going for him as candidate.
Linda Featheringill
@freelancer:
Oh, hell. She’s kinda cute. Might be fun. Go away, little boy. :-)
Mark S.
@bemused:
I remember the supposed swooning over Rumsfeld, but Ari Fleischer? I don’t believe anyone could find him attractive.
Tom Q
@Southern Beale: You mean San Antonio — Henry Cisneros? Who was more or less framed by another of the independent counsel investigations (alongside Starr’s center ring effort) in the 90s, and essentially ruined fo higher office.
Linda Featheringill
Jon Huntsman is attractive.
Restrung
I love that song!
I woke up with Saturday Night, Bay City Rollers, tho. so
What was this post about? fu*!
DougJ, how about that new AG in Cali? She’s pretty and smart.
Cris
That also sounds like what they were saying about Barack Obama.
Chris G.
Also keep in mind how small the GOP Senate caucus was in 2009, when everyone started handicapping the 2012 field. Thune was, at that point, just about the ONLY Republican in the Senate who was under 65 or so, completely batshit crazy (DeMint), not enmeshed in a scandal (Vitter or Ensign), and not facing an uncertain re-election in 2010 (remember, Richard Burr’s numbers were never great even though he won a second term). The Village likes to see its own run for president, and Thune was basically the only plausibly potentially presidential guy around two years ago.
A Writer At Balloon-Juice
@Restrung:
Who?
bemused
@Southern Beale:
Boy, I wish I could remember which R women. There were a few that praised Rumsfeld’s manly manliness, thuggish bullies seem to turn some women on. I don’t think Peggy Noonan was one but the women were about the same age and type.
Davis X. Machina
@Cris: As was said of another Illinois state house hack: “His ambition was a little engine that knew no rest.”
And that makes all the difference….
Kristine
@Southern Beale: Henry Cisneros? He was mayor of San Antonio. He was golden until he wasn’t anymore.
Tom Q
@Cris: Disagree. Obama always had the oratory. You can argue if exceptional speaking ability’s any more meaningful than good looks to presidential performance, but it certainly has been shown to have greater importance to a political candidate’s success.
I wonder if alot of the Search for the Stud flows from a GOP misinterpretation of Kennedy. JFK was good-looking, no doubt, but he was also a memorable, witty speaker. That’s the area where Republican hopefuls (save Reagan) always seem to fall way short.
Restrung
Thune is not a handsome man. Sure, I’m hetero, but I’d rather kiss Orrin Hatch or Chuck Grassley.
2liberal
@Morbo:
to many New englanders, FTFY does NOT mean “fixed this for you” – it means “fuck the fucking yankees”
Violet
@Southern Beale:
Henry Cisneros. Former Mayor of San Antonio. Had an affair. His star somewhat dimmed.
sukabi
@dmsilev: no, no, no… in this case it’s swooning and puking they’ve got confused…
Restrung
@A Writer At Balloon-Juice: YOU!
or did you mean this: Kamala D. Harris
freelancer
@2liberal:
It means that here too, not just in New England.
Cris
By the way, did 2008 put to rest the truism that Senators can’t become President? Or is it going to keep coming up, since ’08 was Senator vs. Senator?
MikeJ
@Tom Q: IIRC, Cisneros’ sin was paying too much in child support. On the forms for a security clearance, they ask about any court ordered payments. He put down the amount the court ordered him to pay. He neglected to state that he had traditionally paid twice what the court had ordered because he wanted to do the right thing by his kid.
bemused
@Mark S.:
I know, Ari? At the time I read it, I thought it was perplexing too which is why it stuck in my mind.
The Dangerman
@Polar Bear Squares:
I wonder if someone is getting some Palin and Bachmann look alikes for a cheesy porn video.
Davis X. Machina
@The Dangerman: Palin’s been, so to speak, done already —
suzanne
@Linda Featheringill: You’re right, Huntsman’s pretty good-looking. Of course, I’m biased slightly by my belief that he’s also not completely batshit insane, so he looks better in comparison.
I thought Tony Blair was pretty hot, too, but I have a thing for British accents. ***splash***
Cris
@The Dangerman: I’ll bet $5 that it’s already done.
Ash Can
Prime examples of why 1970s Top 40 music blew dead goats.
The Dangerman
@Ash Can:
For a bit of 70’s trivia, Tenille sang backup for a very popular album (Pink Floyd’s, The Wall).
Bubblegum Tate
@Violet:
Yeah, I noticed that, too. She’s pretty much peaked and is only going to fade. In four years, somebody else will be giving the wingnuts boners. My money’s on Nikki Haley.
@Polar Bear Squares:
Or, to paraphrase Alvy Singer, they want to do to Palin and Bachmann what Palin and Bachmann would do to the country.
Cris
I was going to throw a rebuttal at you, but then I looked at the whole list of #1 singles in 1975 and I guess I’ll hang my head and concede.
Mark S.
@bemused:
Well, Ann Coulter thought Dick Cheney was hot.
xian
didn’t Cisneros also have some bimbo eruptions?
piratedan
@Ash Can: well to be honest, I still have all of my Raspberries vinyl and ELO gear.
piratedan
@Cris: well outside of Sister Golden Hair and Island Girl, that is a pretty appalling list.
xian
oh, late to the party as usual
freelancer
@Cris:
Heh, this is why I always changed channels during the musical guest portion of old SNL reruns they used to show in the early days of Comedy Central.
Poopyman
@piratedan: Sigh. The soundtrack to my jr & sr college years.
How you remember music is by what you relate it to. That was some pretty good stuff by that definition.
Poopyman
… Except for the Tony Orlando and Dawn shit.
And John Denver.
Wile E. Quixote
@Mark S.:
Ann Coulter also had a fondness for Bill Maher’s DNA and received many, many pearl necklaces from him as well.
asiangrrlMN
No. He is not attractive in the least. Bleah. Ick. Ugh.
Cris
@piratedan, freelancer, Poopyman: On the other hand, the music that doesn’t appear on that list is a reminder of what an incomplete measure of musical quality is the Billboard Top 10. The #1 song in a given week may not be the best, and many great songs never reach #1. I bet if we looked at the entire top 40 for any given week in 1975, we’d see a lot of truly great pop music.
Cris
help, somebody save me from moderation
A Writer At Balloon-Juice
@Restrung:
Kamala. Not much of a name.
gex
@MikeJ: That monster!
bemused
@Mark S.:
She’d say anything to get noticed. btw, she must be quite depressed these days. No one seems to booking her anywhere. Maybe she’ll join Sharon Angle on the makeup tips workshop gigs.
Violet
@bemused:
Ann Coulter’s another one who used her looks to get ahead. Such as they were. But she’s almost 50 and, like Palin, her jowls won’t hold out forever. Wingnuts don’t like their women once they’re past their sell-by dates. It’s not surprising she’s not being booked anywhere. A young, blonde screeching harpy is one thing. A 50 year old screeching harpy isn’t quite as appealing.
Pococurante
Why isn’t DougJ not writing about something that someone on the internet cares about?
http://xkcd.com/386/
And yes, this is now my standard response to every DougJ front post.
bemused
@Violet:
They probably both have enough money to get very good plastic surgeons.
Hey, maybe that’s why we haven’t seen Coulter is such a long time.
Mouse Tolliver
@cathyx:
Good god no! That Cardassian thing he’s got going doesn’t do it for me. That anyone would call him attractive makes me think Washington isn’t just Hollywood for ugly people. It’s Hollywood for the half-blind as well.
Bill Murray
Thune’s big positives to Republicans — Young, still has hair, dumb as a post, went to fundamentalist college and played basketball there, lobbyist who earned his money when he got elected to the Senate. Very small legislative record
Thune’s big negatives to non-Republicans — dumb as a post, went to fundamentalist college, lobbyist who earned his money when he got elected to the Senate. No legislative record outside the deal he worked for his lobbying client
mclaren
Countdown to the revelation of Thune’s torrid homosexual love affair with a young gay meth dealer in…3…2…1…
AlanDownunder
Good looks? He’s a dead ringer for Frank Burns from Mash.
Jim, Once
@bemused: I heard it’s why
Sarah cancelled out on a series of speaking engagements before her stint with Fux News – had cheeks, jowls, eyes done. Can’t remember where I read this, but it was pretty convincing. I’ll see if I can find it.
Citizen Alan
@Violet:
Here’s the thing: It wasn’t the affair that did him in. He admitted the affair. He admitted the illegitimate child that issued from the affair. He admitted paying off the mistress. What finally got him is that he misstated how much he had paid the mistress when he was interviewed by the FBI for his job in the Clinton administration. And that was enough for that revolting pig Kenneth Starr to charge him with lying to federal investigators and to destroy his future in politics.
Meanwhile, there is nothing, nothing, that a Republican can do, and get caught doing, that will end their political career. I fully expect to see a convicted child molester someday run for office as a Republican and win his party’s nomination.
Citizen Alan
@Cris:
Well, if the only option is a Senator, then yes, we’re going to get a Senator. The only major Dem candidates were Senators Obama, Clinton, and Edwards. On the GOP side, McCain had the race wrapped up on March 4, 2008, less than halfway through the primary. Governors Huckabee and Romney and Congressman Ron Paul were the only serious opposition he had, but the plutocrats hated Huckabee, the theocrats hated Romney, and both sides hated Paul.
Citizen Alan
@Cris:
This is my rebuttal.
Poopyman
@Citizen Alan: You BASTARD!
Poopyman
Now I dare not go to sleep this night. She’ll visit my dreams.
Poopyman
Brain cleaner.
JMC_in_the_ATL
Well, the Republicans do have Aaron Shock. Too pretty/frat boy for me, personally, but I don’t deny that he’s got the himbo thing going on. And I found J. C. Watts attractive. Other that, I can’t think of any RILFs.
bob h
Thune also possesses the requisite dullardry to connect to the base.
Tonybrown74
Sure he’s attractive, but he just screams BQIP to me, not frat boy.
* BQIP = Big Queen In Pumps
Xenocrates
“…some younger barefoot boy with cheek of tan…” Boehner is going to run in 2016??
droog
As of right now there are zero direct hits and 143 phonetically related hits on Google. So I claim coining rights to the term “momenThune”.
As in Can you feel it?