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You are here: Home / Open Threads / I Don’t Have What It Takes To Be a Dictator

I Don’t Have What It Takes To Be a Dictator

by John Cole|  February 11, 201110:38 am| 88 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Assholes, Get off my grass you damned kids

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I’m watching the CNN coverage of millions of people demanding that Mubarak step down, and I keep coming back to “Why does he want to remain in power?” He’s fabulously rich, he could easily make a deal with some country to move there with all his wealth and live out the end of his days, why not do it?

I just don’t get it. He’s 82. I know for a fact that if I were 82, the last thing I would want to do is put up with the bullshit of a country of 80 million people. Hell, I’m less than half his age, and I don’t want to be on town council because I don’t want to deal with my neighbor’s complaints. Not to mention, it is all I can do to keep myself and two dogs and a cat alive and my appliances running. And by any objective standard, I’m doing a shitty job at that- my cat, one of my dogs, and I are all fat, and in the past year I almost killed myself carrying one of the dogs on ice and then almost brained myself on a toilet while mopping naked. Put up with crap from 80 million people who hate me? To hell with that, I’ve got my hands full dealing with my own problems.

On a side note, Rosie and I go to the vets at 3, and her eye looks worse this morning. I cleaned it as much as she would let me, and while doing so realized what a horrible person I am. Instead of showing the slightest bit of empathy, all I could think about was “It is going to be a total pain in the ass giving her eye drops for the next week.” I’m such scum.

Also, looking at her with one of her eyes partially closed, I immediately said to myself- “One eyed Jacks are wild!” I’m going to hell.

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Previous Post: « Conservative Science: Yur Doon It Rong
Next Post: Mubarak Out- This Time For Reals »

Reader Interactions

88Comments

  1. 1.

    Loneoak

    February 11, 2011 at 10:41 am

    I Don’t Have What It Takes To Be a Dictator

    cf: Readership Capture.

  2. 2.

    ploeg

    February 11, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Mubarak’s doing it for his family, his buds in the military junta, and all the soldiers out there who will get pushed off the gravy train if Mubarak’s run out of town on a rail.

  3. 3.

    Poopyman

    February 11, 2011 at 10:43 am

    When you’re a dictator you don’t have to put up with silly neighbor complaints.

    It’s all about power. Absolute power.

  4. 4.

    MattF

    February 11, 2011 at 10:43 am

    Because… he’s nuts? No, seriously. Inhabits an alternate space-time continuum is another possibility, I suppose.

  5. 5.

    Crashman

    February 11, 2011 at 10:45 am

    @ploeg: See, if Mubark had left earlier, though, it might have placated the protesters and the military regime could have gone on for a while with just some cosmetic changes. Mubark and his family could have spent the rest of their lives on the French Riveria living off the pyramid sized mountain of cash they stole. Instead he clung to power… and now it looks like things are spiraling completely out of control. Why? I don’t get it either.

  6. 6.

    sherifffruitfly

    February 11, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Keep in mind it was easier for him back in the day, when the army would just shoot someone when he told them to.

    What we’re watching now is him coming to grips with the fact that he ain’t got the mojo no mo.

  7. 7.

    PurpleGirl

    February 11, 2011 at 10:47 am

    @ploeg: This could be it. Mubarak, IIRC, came from the Army and still has extensive ties to the military brass. In good crony capitalism tradition, he needs to provide for his family and rich supporters.

  8. 8.

    TomG

    February 11, 2011 at 10:48 am

    John, as much as I love both our dogs, there are times nearly every day that the Giant Schnauzer does something to annoy me. You aren’t scum, just human.

  9. 9.

    Shinobi

    February 11, 2011 at 10:49 am

    I’m sure he has created a delusional worldview in which he is the only person who knows the right thing to do for the Egyptian people. He probably also has a lot wrapped up in his identity as president. The longer people are in power, the harder it is for them to not be in power anymore.

  10. 10.

    retr2327

    February 11, 2011 at 10:51 am

    Well, I read somewhere (Sullivan’s, maybe), that under the Egyptian Constitution, if Mubarak resigns, the new head of the Gov’t is not Suleiman, as VP, but another official (the head of Parliament, maybe?).

    This fact (it seemed authoritatively sourced) explains much of the Kabuki and confusion of yesterday and today: the basic game plan is to get Mubarak out of the way and leave Suleiman in charge, but Mubarak cannot actually resign and do that; he has to “delegate his powers” to Suleiman while remaining in office in order to avoid triggering the Constitution, which would leave Suleiman out.

    Now whether leaving Suleiman in charge is a good thing or a bad thing is another debate. But I’d be willing to bet that Mubarak wouldn’t feel safe remaining in Egypt (which he desperately wants to do) w/o his good buddy in charge to derail any potentially inconvenient investigations, trials, etc. And, come to that, some elements in the U.S. Gov’t may well feel the same way (extraordinary renditions, anyone?).

    So if the clowns in the media and, apparently, even the State Dep’t, could be bothered to learn a little about the Egyptian Constitution and Gov’t structure, maybe they wouldn’t be so surprised by this turn of events . . . .

  11. 11.

    Southern Beale

    February 11, 2011 at 10:52 am

    Because conservatives just haven’t alienated enough minority groups … here’s one more!

  12. 12.

    Kay Shawn

    February 11, 2011 at 10:52 am

    You are not scum! But do remember to ask about doggie Prozac.
    She’ll feel better, you’ll feel better.

  13. 13.

    Dennis SGMM

    February 11, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Mubarak probably sees himself as a great leader who has kept Egypt from turning into something or other really bad. I’d even bet that he’s shocked at how ungrateful the Egyptian people have become.

  14. 14.

    Ash Can

    February 11, 2011 at 10:55 am

    I’m going to hell.

    We’ll all be there to greet you when you do. (That’s what will make it hell, right?)

  15. 15.

    retr2327

    February 11, 2011 at 10:57 am

    @Kay Shawn:
    So should he take the doggie Prozac himself, or give it to his dogs?

    JC: Don’t worry, you’re not scum. I’d trust you to take care of my dogs anytime.

    Now whether or not I’d show up to take them back is another question . . . .

  16. 16.

    Southern Beale

    February 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

    He’s fabulously rich, he could easily make a deal with some country to move there with all his wealth and live out the end of his days, why not do it?

    My initial understanding was that he’s hanging on for the sake of his son …. but I think more importantly, it’s for the region. The Saudis are terrified of what it will mean if an angry mob takes down Mubarak. The angry mob will be coming for the Saudi royal family next. Egypt will be the first domino to fall and the entire Middle Eastern ruling class will topple.

    That’s my take on it.

  17. 17.

    Brachiator

    February 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

    I’m watching the CNN coverage of millions of people demanding that Mubarak step down, and I keep coming back to “Why does he want to remain in power?” He’s fabulously rich, he could easily make a deal with some country to move there with all his wealth and live out the end of his days, why not do it?

    Power is its own reason. Power is its own justification. Or as Conan the Barbarian would say:

    Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
    __
    Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
    __
    Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
    __
    Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

  18. 18.

    New Yorker

    February 11, 2011 at 11:00 am

    Because you’re not a sociopath, John. I really don’t think it’s possible to inhabit the minds of people like Mubarak, the Koch brothers, Dick Cheney, etc. when you’re a normal human being. What seems like absolute lunacy to us probably makes perfect sense to people with as much wealth and power and who are as sealed off from the real world as these people.

  19. 19.

    karen marie

    February 11, 2011 at 11:00 am

    I have a suggestion for doing eye drops with a recalcitrant dog.

    Get down on the floor on your knees, with the dog sitting in front of you, like a choo-choo train. Reach one arm around the front of Rosie, using the inside of your elbow to corral her head and tip it up to give you better access.

    The initial sitting on the floor has to be done quietly and calmly, but once she is in position in front of you, you’ve got to be ready to move fast to get the head in position, eye opened and drops in.

    I don’t know how big she is, but if you have trouble stabilizing her between your legs on the floor, try wrapping her in a blanket.

    Poor girl.

  20. 20.

    Redshirt

    February 11, 2011 at 11:01 am

    People often hold onto something long after they’ve stopped caring about it – and not just dictatorships, but everything.

    It’s inertia, habits, pride, stubbornness, etc. All too human.

  21. 21.

    Bob

    February 11, 2011 at 11:01 am

    “Why does he want to remain in power?”

    Why does The Donald want the next 20 million?

  22. 22.

    Cat Lady

    February 11, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Funny, I went through the same thought process about that pathetic old fool Brett Favre, and the resistance to leaving when it’s clear to everyone but yourself that you’re done. All I can think of that powerful men experience a brain re-wiring akin to drug addiction. Power is a heckuva drug.

  23. 23.

    Morbo

    February 11, 2011 at 11:01 am

    I know I wouldn’t leave Sharm-el-Sheikh by land if I were him right now.

  24. 24.

    Eric S.

    February 11, 2011 at 11:02 am

    I’m such scum.

    Don’t sell yourself short. This is stage one for a dictatorship.

  25. 25.

    Steve M.

    February 11, 2011 at 11:02 am

    I really think it’s “Hey you kids, get off my lawn!” on a megalomaniacal scale.

    Also, too: Charlie Rangel, Ted Stevens.

    Seriously, though: I’ve seen this in octogenarians who aren’t dictators — they can’t leave the stage because it feels like death, even as they remain mired in habits and practices that no longer work. I had a boss like this a couple of decades ago. (Computers? She was never going to learn anything about those silly things, though she wouldn’t retire and yield to someone who would, no matter how much pressure she got from the company). My landlord is like this now. (Replace the washers and dryers that were old and prone to failure twenty years ago? Why? The super can still keep patching them up.) A lot of us will probably be like this in our eighties.

  26. 26.

    Violet

    February 11, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Don’t most dictators cling to power until the bitter end? That’s part of what makes them dictators. Little surprise he’s living this insulated life full of sycophants and toadies who will tell him what he wants to hear. That works fine in good times, but he’s got no truth-tellers in bad times.

    @Southern Beale:
    I think everyone is kind of holding their breath wondering what’s going to happen if Egypt falls to an “angry mob.” Maybe it’ll work out great, maybe it’ll be a mess. Maybe it’ll stop with Egypt, maybe it’ll spread to Saudi Arabia. Who knows. I hope for the sake of the people who live there it’s not too bloody and that they end up with better lives.

  27. 27.

    Redshirt

    February 11, 2011 at 11:04 am

    @Cat Lady: Nice comparison! I think Cheney might work as well.

  28. 28.

    mr. whipple

    February 11, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Instead of showing the slightest bit of empathy, all I could think about was “It is going to be a total pain in the ass giving her eye drops for the next week.” I’m such scum.

    That’s not an unreasonable thought- it will be a pain in the ass. But you’ll do it anyway, because you are far from ‘scum’.

  29. 29.

    matoko_chan

    February 11, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Mubarak just resigned.
    guess he took your psychic advice Cole.

  30. 30.

    Morbo

    February 11, 2011 at 11:05 am

    And apparently that’s that.

  31. 31.

    Culture of Truth

    February 11, 2011 at 11:06 am

    He’s out. Handing power to the military.

  32. 32.

    BGinCHI

    February 11, 2011 at 11:06 am

    Mubarak was probably on hold with Comcast this whole time, and now they finally relented and gave him free HBO.

    You just don’t want to go into exile with basic cable.

  33. 33.

    steviez314

    February 11, 2011 at 11:08 am

    All dogs go to heaven.

    Not all dog owners do.

  34. 34.

    Culture of Truth

    February 11, 2011 at 11:09 am

    Protesters erupt in cheers.

  35. 35.

    cmorenc

    February 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

    If you can stomach it for a few minutes, it’s worth flipping back and forth between CNN and Fox to appreciate how immensely different Fox’s coverage and framing of the Egyptian uprising is. Fox repeatedly focuses on the threat of the Muslim Brotherhood and their role in fomenting the uprising, how the Obama Administration has betrayed a faithful ally, how the Saudis and Israelis are stunned and angry at the Obama Administration’s handling of the Egyptian situation, the threat of radical Islam, etc etc, meanwhile intermittently cutting to missing white-girl twins in Switzerland and US Homeland Security Janet Napalitano announcing heightened threat alerts in the US. Fox selects video that makes the protests seem menacing. CNN, meanwhile is giving constant, sympathetic coverage appropriate to a major historical development unfolding before our eyes.

    Incredible. On CNN, you get continuous live video of the immense crowds and ongoing events in Egypt. On Fox, you get Mike Huckabee “freshly back from a trip to the Middle East” (Israel, not Egypt) prattling on about how unanimously nervous and shocked the situation in Egypt is making Israelis, even the most liberal people among them.

  36. 36.

    Nicole

    February 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

    It’s posts like this that bring me to this blog every day.

    And you’re not a bad person for finding funny in your One-eyed Jack. Somehow during this week of looking after a sick husband and sick baby I felt it necessary for my own sanity to put a pair of pants on baby’s head and took photos. I expect that to be flung back in my face in about 15 years. Worth it, though.

  37. 37.

    Culture of Truth

    February 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

    @steviez314: @steviez314: Who picks up after them?

  38. 38.

    mr. whipple

    February 11, 2011 at 11:12 am

    Watching CNN. Too cool.

  39. 39.

    bkny

    February 11, 2011 at 11:13 am

    watching it online at youtube/al jazeera — too fucking awesome. congratulations to the egyptian people!!!

  40. 40.

    4tehlulz

    February 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

    King Abdullah just dropped a deuce in his pants.

  41. 41.

    Brachiator

    February 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

    @matoko_chan:

    Mubarak just resigned.

    “What are we going to do now?”

    Dawn, season finale, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

  42. 42.

    IrishGirl

    February 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

    @Crashman: It’s not the gravy train…that is going to keep coming no matter what. The position of Egypt is crucial and that buttload of dough we send to them will keep getting sent so long as they continue to provide a buffer against all the other Arab countries who are itching to fight with Israel.

    So it isn’t the money. It’s partly Mubarak buying into his own narcissistic BS–he’s actually come to believe that he knows better than the Egyptian people. And he’s been in power so long, that he doesn’t know how to quit–grasping for power has become autonomic for him. Remember, power corrupts absolutely.

  43. 43.

    TooManyJens

    February 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

    Holy shit, this is amazing. Watching al-Jazeera.

  44. 44.

    Violet

    February 11, 2011 at 11:15 am

    @Morbo:

    I know I wouldn’t leave Sharm-el-Sheikh by land if I were him right now.

    Lots Europeans holiday in Sharm-el-Sheikh. It’s been touted as “safe” by the UK media during this crisis. They don’t want to undermine and destroy the tourism industry. I wouldn’t think it was as safe at the moment.

  45. 45.

    Violet

    February 11, 2011 at 11:18 am

    Holy crap! He stepped down?

  46. 46.

    Culture of Truth

    February 11, 2011 at 11:18 am

    Mubarak spotten in limo headed to Varennes

  47. 47.

    Sloegin

    February 11, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Seriously, just Wiki the history of pretty much every dictator ever.

    Or… the world reaction to George Washington stepping down from being President; universal amazement was pretty much the reaction at the time.

  48. 48.

    Cat Lady

    February 11, 2011 at 11:19 am

    I’ve got goosebumps and tears. A portal has opened, human consciousness is pouring through, and I’m really glad Obama is the president now. This is the beginning of something truly momentous.

  49. 49.

    Amir_Khalid

    February 11, 2011 at 11:20 am

    At this stage, Mubarak’s reason for clinging to power is probably not about adding to his pyramid of stolen loot. Or even avoiding the bitter choice between jail and exile. I reckon he sees the Presidency as his by right, having earned at by being a War Hero and Father of the Nation and 82 years old and all that. If he has to leave at all, he should get to leave on his own terms.

    If he were to let himself be hounded out of office, it would first of all be a tremendous loss of face. He wouldn’t be able to write his own self-adulatory page in history. Plus, there would be no more order in Egypt. If an ungrateful nation can push him out just for being an oppressive and corrupt leader, where will it all end?

  50. 50.

    Luci

    February 11, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Yes… Like Nicole says, it’s posts like this that bring me here to read and even post. Your humanity is showing through, and it’s good.

    What you are describing is what every one of us has felt at some point or another. Your specifics might be different, but the truth is, none of us are saints and we all have times when we are not so sweet. However, and this is HUGE, it’s how we act that means the most. You’re taking Rosie to the vet, you’ll give her eye drops, and you’ll do whatever it is that you need to do to fix her up… even if she is an annoying pet. For what it’s worth, I have a cat who is such a pain in the butt that even I cannot believe it. She whines, she pesters a person, she’s not even cute really… But, here she has been for 7 years, with her brother, and here she will stay until she dies of old age after likely costing me a fortune in vet bills to treat old age related ailments. :-s I guess maybe the only difference is that you have not had Rosie that long yet and gotten used to being driven nuts by a pest.

  51. 51.

    JGabriel

    February 11, 2011 at 11:22 am

    Now, what?

    Mubarak has resigned and handed power to the military. Is Suleiman in charge? The military council? Will there be a transition or will a junta take charge and not let go?

    I’m hoping for the best here, and I know the Egyptian people wanted the military to take over at this point, but I hope this doesn’t turn bad for them. Military takeovers don’t really have the best record, historically.

    Still, congratulations to the Egyptian people on their success. That alone is an immense and impressive achievement.

    .

  52. 52.

    Superluminar

    February 11, 2011 at 11:22 am

    Wahey! Congratulations Egyptian DFHs – but will the military/Sulieman now relinquish power?

  53. 53.

    Culture of Truth

    February 11, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Crowds cheer “Egypt is free!”

  54. 54.

    fasteddie9318

    February 11, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Amazing. It will be fascinating to see what happens next, because for all his talk about venerating the constitution, “handing power” to the military council is completely unconstitutional.

  55. 55.

    scav

    February 11, 2011 at 11:23 am

    ha!

  56. 56.

    General Stuck

    February 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

    wOOt !! good for the Egyptian people, high hopes for their future. Well done

  57. 57.

    manwith7talents

    February 11, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Power is it’s own reward. The goal of every dictator is to die in office.

  58. 58.

    JGabriel

    February 11, 2011 at 11:30 am

    fasteddie9318:

    It will be fascinating to see what happens next, because for all his [Mubarak’s] talk about venerating the constitution, “handing power” to the military council is completely unconstitutional.

    But it’s what the people were demanding. The constitution obviously need to be revised or re-written, and a military handover is probably the most likely to preserve public order for the transition — assuming they follow through with a transition to democracy, which, of course, is not yet guaranteed.

    .

  59. 59.

    Jay C

    February 11, 2011 at 11:32 am

    @IrishGirl:

    “Itching to fight Israel”?? It’s long been an axiom in the Middle East that the only “Arab countries” agitating to actually fight Israel are those way way away from the front lines (a la Saddam Hussein), and that picking a fight with the best-armed, highest-tech military in the region is (bellicose rhetoric aside) quite low on the list of priorities for nearly everyone who actually has skin in the game (Egypt most assuredly).

    @cmorenc:

    Well, what do you expect from Fox? It will be an interesting couple of weeks now as we see what the Obama Administration will do re whatever new government will take over in Egypt. If he’s smart, President Obama will try to get out in front, and suddenly become the Egyptians’ New BFF. The neocons, the Israel-firsters and the wingnuts will squawk anyway: Obama and his Admin have, I think, a golden opportunity to marginalize them further.

    @Southern Beale:

    Kind of moot now, but it was, IIRC, the actions of old Hosni Mubarak to worm his son Gamal into position to succeed him that (in retrospect) will probably be looked on as the start of the reaction which led to Tahrir Square. I think a LOT of “interested parties” there were, shall we say, less than thrilled with Mubarak’s attempts at reviving dynasticism in Egypt.

  60. 60.

    fasteddie9318

    February 11, 2011 at 11:36 am

    @JGabriel:

    But it’s what the people were demanding. The constitution obviously need to be revised or re-written, and a military handover is probably the most likely to preserve public order for the transition — assuming they follow through with a transition to democracy, which, of course, is not yet guaranteed.

    They were demanding that Mubarak go, and that’s as far as I think they had mapped this out. The problem is that, while the military (meaning the officer corps, not the rank and file conscripts) is the best chance to preserve order in the transition as you say, it’s also the institution least interested in real democratic reform.

  61. 61.

    Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)

    February 11, 2011 at 11:38 am

    You’re human for thinking a one eyed Jack is cute, and a needy JRT is a pain in the ass. Please discuss canine dosage of Prozac with your vet. It will make you find Rosie much cuter. Really.

    Go Egyptians.

  62. 62.

    Brachiator

    February 11, 2011 at 11:43 am

    @JGabriel: RE: It will be fascinating to see what happens next, because for all his [Mubarak’s] talk about venerating the constitution, “handing power” to the military council is completely unconstitutional.

    But it’s what the people were demanding. The constitution obviously need to be revised or re-written, and a military handover is probably the most likely to preserve public order for the transition — assuming they follow through with a transition to democracy, which, of course, is not yet guaranteed.

    And if some Tea Party person offered this same scenario as the best hope to remove Obama from office, your reply would be?

    Just askin’

  63. 63.

    p.a.

    February 11, 2011 at 11:51 am

    Not to mention, it is all I can do to keep myself and two dogs and a cat alive and my appliances running. And by any objective standard, I’m doing a shitty job at that- my cat, one of my dogs, and I are all fat, and in the past year I almost killed myself carrying one of the dogs on ice and then almost brained myself on a toilet while mopping naked. Put up with crap from 80 million people who hate me? To hell with that, I’ve got my hands full dealing with my own problems.

    for some reason, the paragraph where John typed “But you, dear readers, make it all worthwhile” failed to load!

    about Egypt. How does a poor, overpopulated country which maybe 10,000 families have been using as their personal ATM (thanks, USSR/USA) for generations go about making change without descending into chaos and bloodshed? I wish ’em luck.

  64. 64.

    Menzies

    February 11, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    @Bob:

    Because he doesn’t have the $20 million he’s pretending he owns. The Donald is always a couple bankruptcies away from being just another has-been.

  65. 65.

    different church-lady

    February 11, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    One of my many nicknames for my cat was “10 pounds of P.I.T.A.”

    As of his 48 hour stay at the vet this week, his new nickname is “600 dollars of P.I.T.A.”

  66. 66.

    Dan

    February 11, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    My kid’s guinea pig had an eye infection and all I could think about is: will this thing fit if I tried to flush it down the toilet?

    I just didn’t want to pay for guinea pig opthamology. Luckily (for her and I guess my kid) after a day her eye cleared up.

  67. 67.

    denali

    February 11, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    You’re right – you don’t have what it takes to be a dictator -you are too human!

  68. 68.

    Gina

    February 11, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    @BGinCHI: Smartest theory I’ve heard so far!

  69. 69.

    policomic

    February 11, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    @Jay C:

    Kind of moot now, but it was, IIRC, the actions of old Hosni Mubarak to worm his son Gamal into position to succeed him

    I could have sworn Hosni Mubarek’s son’s name was Hosni W. Mubarek.

  70. 70.

    CynDee

    February 11, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    Far from scum. More like . . . gold.

  71. 71.

    freelancer

    February 11, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    @Southern Beale:

    Because conservatives just haven’t alienated enough minority groups … here’s one more!

    Bryan Fischer’s had his “asshole cred” punch card stamped so many times that he’s about due to get his free Atomic Sub.

  72. 72.

    Deb T

    February 11, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    If I couldn’t bitch about my “animal companions”, I couldn’t have them. I kind of treat them like younger siblings. I love them but damn they can be pains in the butt. Of course cats, which I have now, are different from dogs. They can be kind of mean when they are at their most affectionate (love bites and scracthes that leave marks). My kitten, Atticus (or Bratticus!), loves to bite and scratch. I used to thunk him on the head with my finger but that just made him mad. Now I blow into his ears or face. When he’s totally being psychotic, it’s time to bring out the rolled up magazine. I don’t actually have to hit him (unless I just can’t resist — hey, he started it and I’ve got the bloody scratches to prove it). Then, he’l turn around, get all lovey dovey and put on his nuzzling bunny face.

  73. 73.

    zuzu (not that one, the other one)

    February 11, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    @karen marie:

    I don’t know how big she is, but if you have trouble stabilizing her between your legs on the floor, try wrapping her in a blanket.

    Just be sure to keep your feet pressed together and your butt on your heels or she might scoot out behind you. I learned this when I had to force-feed my cat for an awful month.

  74. 74.

    Gustopher

    February 11, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    When my cat developed spots in her eye, all I could think was “I don’t want to clean out an empty eye socket, ever.”

    Luckily, the cat ophthalmologist said it was just pigment spots in the same pattern as cancer, not really cancer. Now I keep thinking “There are cat ophthalmologists? That was a possible career choice?” it’s like a hamster manicurist or something.

  75. 75.

    JGabriel

    February 11, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    @Brachiator:

    And if some Tea Party person offered this same scenario as the best hope to remove Obama from office, your reply would be?

    That we have a significantly different constitution that guarantees they have the right to vote on a new president every four years, and guarantees that no president will serve more than ~2.5 terms of office, instead of the 30 years Mubarak was in power.

    .

  76. 76.

    asiangrrlMN

    February 11, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    @Ash Can: And then take him out for drinks while clapping him on the back. Repeatedly.

    Cole, I would trust you to take care of my cats, and that’s a high compliment indeed. You’re being too hard on yourself.

  77. 77.

    Arclite

    February 11, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    Hell, I’m less than half his age, and I don’t want to be on town council because I don’t want to deal with my neighbor’s complaints.

    Well, the difference between town council and dictator is that a dictator can have a dozen scantily clad Egyptian hotties feeding him grapes and massaging his feet. That makes the BS totally worth it.

  78. 78.

    Jules

    February 11, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    Instead of showing the slightest bit of empathy, all I could think about was “It is going to be a total pain in the ass giving her eye drops for the next week.” I’m such scum.

    Also, looking at her with one of her eyes partially closed, I immediately said to myself- “One eyed Jacks are wild!” I’m going to hell.

    You really are too hard on yourself dude.
    The moment one of the 7 furry humans who live here start to look ill I think “Jesus fucking Christ, how much will this cost this time?” and ruminate on ways to treat them without too much energy or money being spent on my part.
    We always have extra antibiotics around and infections get doses at home first.
    No one has died yet….

  79. 79.

    Jonathan

    February 11, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    Well, 3 points:

    * If you’re as rich as he is, you don’t have to take care of your animals or deal with appliances, you have people that do that for you.

    * He clearly hasn’t been dealing with the problems of his country.

    * To be a dictator, you only have to be just nice enough to not get assassinated.

  80. 80.

    MDBill

    February 11, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    Maybe it has something to do with this:

    Mubarak assets frozen by Swiss government

  81. 81.

    adrastos

    February 11, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    Well said, John. I’ve been wondering the same thing myself. Hoz seems to have delusions of indispensibility.

  82. 82.

    Pixie79

    February 11, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Maybe I’m just a softie, but I think part of the reason he wants to cling to power (other than staving off possible prosecution for crimes committed during his reign) might be a genuine concern for the fate of his country. He strikes me as a control freak and those are the people that usually believe that things will fall to pieces unless they are in direct control. Considering he’s been a dictator for a billion years, he’s probably concerned about what will happen after he is deposed.

  83. 83.

    Barry

    February 11, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    @Nicole: No, you get to fling it at the kid, in front of their friends :)

  84. 84.

    Barry

    February 11, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    @Arclite: “Well, the difference between town council and dictator is that a dictator can have a dozen scantily clad Egyptian hotties feeding him grapes and massaging his feet. That makes the BS totally worth it”

    You forgot other joys, like having truly evil things done to annoying critics.

  85. 85.

    Brachiator

    February 11, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    @JGabriel: RE: And if some Tea Party person offered this same scenario as the best hope to remove Obama from office, your reply would be?

    That we have a significantly different constitution that guarantees they have the right to vote on a new president every four years, and guarantees that no president will serve more than ~2.5 terms of office, instead of the 30 years Mubarak was in power.

    So, the US Constitution was defective before presidential term limits were added?

    Like most others, I’ve been watching the events unfold in Egypt. I’ve avoided commenting because I don’t know what to make of the whole thing. Even friends from Egypt don’t know what to make of this, especially since some of them are Coptic Christians who fear being thrown to the curb again once the current euphoria wears off.

    I certainly hope that things turn out well. But the problem with the idea that this is what the people want is that the trick now is to repair and rebuild workable institutions so that the people’s will is transformed into something more stable. Otherwise, whim and power, and the prospect of a nastier clampdown by the military, becomes more likely.

  86. 86.

    cckids

    February 11, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    @Jules:

    The moment one of the 7 furry humans who live here start to look ill I think “Jesus fucking Christ, how much will this cost this time?” and ruminate on ways to treat them without too much energy or money being spent on my part.
    We always have extra antibiotics around and infections get doses at home first.

    I may be even worse, with no insurance I sometimes feel this way about my human teenagers & husband. “Oh, god, you are not coughing again!. . . .please tell me that is NOT broken”, etc. Luckily, the three of them have gone through extensive 1st aid training + the internet is a great resource. Just gotta know when to call it & head to the doc.

  87. 87.

    gelfling545

    February 11, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    You will not know the meaning of difficult until you have tried to give medicine to a pug. Snarla was born with “micro-ophthalmia” (spelling??) so needs frequent rounds of eyedrops but on a pug there is no muzzle to grab onto and hold steady. Added to that she pretty much hates having anything done to her in the health/grooming realm. She is definitely non grata at the local pet salon after her last nail clipping adventure.

  88. 88.

    DPirate

    February 12, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    I should have thought that it was obvious that he needs more time to get the rest of his loot out of the country. Likely he’s got to arrange payoffs in order to do so, esp negotiations with the generals.

    I really fail to understand how anyone can refer to this guy as if he is some sort of honest actor.

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