Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let there be snark.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

Democracy cannot function without a free press.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

All hail the time of the bunny!

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

You are here: Home / True romance

Reader Interactions

85Comments

  1. 1.

    Comrade Mary

    Those aren’t flowers. They’re the mutilated sex organs of various plants that died shrieking in terror at their fate.

  4. 4.

    Kryptik

    If your Wife/Girlfriend/Crush finds it charming or romantic to be delivered or given flowers by Rush Limbaugh, either you both are crazy or you need to find a new Wife/Girlfriend/Crush.

  9. 9.

    morzer

    Sweet Baby Tebow on the Cross in the Endzone! DougJ, are you trying to drive good people to drink? Damnit, I’m a Dolphins fan, haven’t I suffered enough already?

  11. 11.

    Mnemosyne

    Silly me, I didn’t think there was any way that Proflowers could be so tasteless as to actually use thrice-divorced Rush Limbaugh as their spokesman for romance, so I thought it was an impersonator.

    That’s what I get for underestimating the American corporation.

    On the other hand, I’m guessing that the ad is just a portrayal of many of Limbaugh’s Valentine’s Days as he tried to keep wife, mistress, and future mistress pacified.

  12. 12.

    dmsilev

    And why is he wearing a doctor’s jacket in the first panel? Is that supposed to mean that he’s married to his pill bottle?

    dms

  13. 13.

    Cacti

    For your first beard marriage.

    For your second beard marriage.

    For your third beard marriage.

    For your fourth beard marriage.

  15. 15.

    RossInDetroit

    Rush should be holding a bouquet of benjamins. I don’t think flowers are going to do the trick.

  17. 17.

    Warren Terra

    The best part is the package deal: buy a bouquet for your wife and one for your girlfriend, get one for your crush for free!
    (Or is it buy one for your wife, one for your girlfriend, and one for your crush, get a free one for your other crush?)

  23. 23.

    Ann B. Nonymous

    I think I have a headache. All the ad needs is that jowly animated gif of Limbaugh in his open black shirt, looking for all the world like a participant at a Nazi-era swing club.

  26. 26.

    Mnemosyne

    I will admit that I have a secret affection for those stupid Kay Jewelers commercials that they run 24/7 in the run-up to Valentine’s Day. They at least seem to acknowledge some kind of reality, like, hey, deaf people have boyfriends, too!

  27. 27.

    Lincolnshire Poacher

    Someone has to cash in on celebrity conservatives with all the power and money they bring to the table. With Representative Lee and all I am surprised there is not mistress or fling. And be honest when was the last time a poor person gave you a job?

  30. 30.

    Little Boots

    Nothing says romance like thrice divorced asshat.

    (And did somebody put Rush Limbaugh and George Clooney in the same sentence? Blasphemy!!????1111)

  31. 31.

    shortstop

    This ad is brilliant, self-deprecating humor. In one moment of moxie, it sells flowers and sassily mocks the Victorian liberal obsession with fidelity and family values. “I reject your staid and anachronistic notions of morality and own my whoredom ,” it says. It’s simply too subtle for your gross progressive minds to follow.

    Okay, I got nothin’.

  32. 32.

    BGinCHI

    Joke:

    Why does Rush wear a suit and comb his hair that way?

    Because he’s a cunt.

    (in a cockney accent that joke is always funny)

  33. 33.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @shortstop:

    It was a good attempt, though.

    It’s difficult to see why these idiots want to associate themselves with a Nazi blimp. Better off running footage of the Hindenburg disaster.

  39. 39.

    RossInDetroit

    Relationships may be the only realm of Rush’s life where he’s exposed to actual free market forces. And he’s blown whatever capital he once had.

  43. 43.

    RossInDetroit

    OT, but woah. I just dropped in on the GOS to read their hate mail and it’s all classed up & stuff. Really polished and almost elegant. Is this some kind of prank?

  47. 47.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Teddy Salad:

    Coming up: Newt Gingrich for “wedding rings that will last a lunchtime.”

    Pythonized (ala “The Rutles”) for your entertainment.

  48. 48.

    Silver

    I suspect there’s an 11 year old boy in the Dominican Republic who has seen that same smile, close up and in person…

  50. 50.

    shortstop

    OT, I am seriously going to off myself if I get one more attempted push poll. It’s an aldermanic election, for cripe’s sake.

  53. 53.

    Redshift

    As a Democratic legislator here in VA said (and probably in every other state) during the debate about the odious marriage amendment, “My colleagues on the other side of the aisle believe in traditional marriage. Some of them so much that they have engaged in it several times…”

  55. 55.

    Anne Laurie

    @RossInDetroit:

    I just dropped in on the GOS to read their hate mail and it’s all classed up & stuff. Really polished and almost elegant. Is this some kind of prank?

    Maybe Kos is hoping to appeal to those of us who’ve given up Gawker since Denton’s “klassy” I-want-them-iPad-buxx redesign?

  58. 58.

    Violet

    @Anne Laurie:

    Maybe Kos is hoping to appeal to those of us who’ve given up Gawker since Denton’s “klassy” I-want-them-iPad-buxx redesign?

    Oh, man. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who feels this way. I can hardly find anything at Gawker unless someone direct links to the exact post. Surfing and scrolling through various possibly interesting stories is a thing of the past there. I really dislike the new design.

  59. 59.

    MikeJ

    @Anne Laurie: I was wondering why the penny arcaders unbookmarked gawker et al. I only ever read Gawker when somebody links to a story, so I didn’t know about the redesign. Doesn’t load in my browser. Probably requires javascript for content or something equally stupid.

    If you can’t degrade gracefully, just don’t add whatever stupid feature you think is cool.

  60. 60.

    SRW1

    Didn’t know about this tradition of having a mugshots taken before you propose, or is that just one of Rush’s fads?

  63. 63.

    honus

    You guys miss the point. The ad is not to appeal to women, or intelligent men who might have some idea about romance, but to men who admire Rush. Any sales generated will be a tribute to conservative man-love.

  64. 64.

    RossInDetroit

    The only place I want Rush’s pic is on the side of a milk carton with “have you seen me?”

  65. 65.

    dmsilev

    @RossInDetroit: Don’t know about you, but staring at Rush’s visage while trying to wake up and eat breakfast doesn’t sound like a good time to me.

    I’d settle for a mugshot photo published in TMZ or the like.

  66. 66.

    suzanne

    The best Valentine’s Day gift I could ever receive would be the chance to hit Rush Limbaugh in the balls. Using Glenn Beck as the bat.

  68. 68.

    quaint irene

    Sure, cause R. Limbaugh and Valentines Day are an automatic combo in everybody’s mind!
    They should have had that ad animated, with him jumping about like when he was mocking Michael J. Fox.

  70. 70.

    Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)

    @RossInDetroit: I thought you meant the hate mail and went off in search of it, to see whether it was vocabulary, style or both that had improved. I found it average.
    Then, I realized you probably meant the GOS itself looks good deal more polished, as if actual design thought had been applied. Color me embarrassed; I’m slow on Sundays.

  71. 71.

    Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)

    @suzanne: I’d pretty happily settle for hitting Beck in the balls with Limpbaugh as the bat! Though I would probably have to train for it;that’s a heavy bat to swing.

    What I got was Deputy Duck – which really squeaks! I wish I’d asked for a dozen; I could have made a profit by selling them at our courthouse.

  72. 72.

    RossInDetroit

    @Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q):

    Sorry. Reading that over, it was unclear that I was talking about GOS and not their hate mail having been gentrified. the hate mail has not changed. Eccentric punctuation and capitalization. Poor spelling, bile, vitriol, etc.

    I kinda liked the old ad hoc looking GOS. Too busy for fancy design. Scrounge through it until you find what you’re looking for.

  73. 73.

    Yutsano

    @RossInDetroit: I looked at the new design, and yeah, maybe it’s me but I don’t get it. It kinda looks like what a Soviet website would resemble if they had made it long enough to have a Web presence.

  74. 74.

    JCT

    @Linda Featheringill:

    @Cacti:
    Are you trying to say that his wives have only been beards?

    This gets tossed about every time he gets married and his former wives almost *never* say a word about him, so the rumor stays afloat via suggestions of “payoffs” a la Tom Cruise.

  75. 75.

    Wile E. Quixote

    @honus:

    Any sales generated will be a tribute to conservative man-love.

    Coming Soon from Fox Pornography.

    CPAC – Volume One – (Cock-craving Perverts and Cum-Dumpsters) – Conservative Cum-Dumpsters – starring Rush Limbaugh, Jonah Goldberg, Rich Lowry, Manne Coulter, Erick Erickson and Big Dick Cheney. See starbursts as Rich Lowry discovers why Manne Coulter has such big hands. Watch Rush Limbaugh and Big Dick Cheney engage in hot, sweaty, conservative man-love. See the Red State Strike Force have their way with Erick Erickson and leave him sticky, gooey and begging for more. See Jonah Goldberg touch himself because nobody else wants to.
    __
    CPAC – Volume Two: Teabaggers Gone Wild starring John Boner, Lindsay Graham and Glenn Beck available in March.

    Fox Pornography. Your source for high quality, conservative man-love. Fox Pornography – INGIYAR (It’s Not Gay If You’re A Republican).

  76. 76.

    MikeJ

    @Yutsano: The single worst redesign is the new weatherunderground. Is sucksucksucksucks. It is hideous. They decided they needed to make the site less informative and harder to use, and they succeeded wildly. Whoever sold them the flavour of the month redesign ought to be taken out and shot.

  77. 77.

    trixie larue

    Ooh! That’s too effin twisted (the true romance post), it takes the heart out of valentine’s day.

  78. 78.

    Zuzu's Petals

    Geeze, that’s weird.

    Go to this ProFlowers page and enter Limbaugh, Beck, or Hannity in the search box and you get the full-out “Gift Guide” complete with the creepy wife/girlfriend/crush pics.

    Enter names like Maddow or Schultz and you get a perfunctory “Welcome Rachel Maddow Listeners” blurb.

  82. 82.

    Betsy

    Now you’re just trying to make sure none of us enjoy any nookie on Valentine’s Day. If there was ever a visual to kill the mood…

  83. 83.

    twiffer

    this is why i get all my flowers from calyx & corolla.

    well, also cause they have great arangements and fantastic flowers. but, no stupid fucking ads either.

Comments are closed.