Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

Not all heroes wear capes.

“But what about the lurkers?”

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

In my day, never was longer.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Come on, man.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

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Reader Interactions

66Comments

  2. 2.

    greennotGreen

    Except if it had happened just yesterday, you’d still be in pain today. Ah, the joys of aging!

  5. 5.

    Biscuits

    Ah youth. I remember you commenting on the grief you caused your mom when you were young. What did it take for you to become who you are today (a good one!) I have a 19 year old son who is just lost and drifting. My husband and I are perplexed and concerned.
    But happy birthday! Hog tied today too?

  8. 8.

    Citizen_X

    Green balloons! Green balloons!

    This does appear, however, to continue the theme of “Cole’s injuries.” WTF did you do to get that road rash (or bruise?) on your elbow? Take a header into the sand while tank-surfing or something?

  11. 11.

    Beauzeaux

    So what was the point? There must be a reason. Or did you just hogtie each other to relieve the boredom?

  13. 13.

    jon

    “Hogtied by my Platoon” sounds like a short story I would never read on a website I’d never admit to looking for. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  14. 14.

    Mary G

    Is your camera broken in the present time? Or are you just too mad at Rosie to take any pictures of the pets? We haven’t seen Lily in what feels like months.

    I bet looking at that now makes your shoulder hurt and you feel old and sad about it. Tempus fugit, dude.

    ETA: Sorry to be cranky, it’s raining here and cold for California and I am projecting my feelings onto you.

  15. 15.

    jon

    @Beauzeaux: A friend who was a Marine and was there on the Saudi border with Kuwait about a week after Saddam’s invasion told me about the boredom. He read the same books about six times, as did the entire platoon. And they caught big bugs to make them fight each other. Sounds like a blast. Nothing like months and months of sleeping under a Hummer and waiting around to inspire whatever it is that happens.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, either.

  16. 16.

    WyldPirate

    @Citizen_X:

    WTF did you do to get that road rash (or bruise?) on your elbow?

    Clambering around inside, onto and off of stationary armored vehicles you get dings and nicks like that all the time. There is all sorts of metal to bang your head, elbows, knees, etc on, fall off of or skin above mentioned parts on. It gets even more hazardous riding around in the damned things in the daylight and even worse in the dark when you’re sleep-deprived.

    In short, that skinned arm is nothing.

    M-1 Abrams are Cadillacs as far as riding comfort is concerned compared to other armored vehicles like M113s, Bradley’s etc., as well.

    ETA-to fix spelling foul ups

  17. 17.

    Chris Grrr™

    @jon: I came here to snark, but there’s no shame in realizing when the thread has been, um, conquered.

    (Still boggling at how much alcohol, or toxoplasmotic-parasite pressure, it would take for me to post a photo of myself hogtied. If such images existed. With or without my knowledge.)

  18. 18.

    Mike E

    @trollhattan: Too bad it wasn’t 100 hours + 15 mins; Stormin’ Norman had Saddam’s RV zeroed, literally, but then Gen Powell thought the American people had had enough of “war” and talked Poppy into yanking the plug on the operation. Ahh, what coulda been…

    Good thing Colin P was one of the adults in that admin, and furthered his sterling counsel to the rest of that family!

    /Spock w/a beard

  22. 22.

    Nicole

    Happy birthday, John!

    What was with the hogtying on the 21st birthday? Is that a tradition? Is it an attempt to give the feeling of a miserable post-birthday hangover leaving you unable to move, without having to imbibe all the alcohol because you are on duty?

  24. 24.

    Cacti

    Bush 41 did a much a better job of making Operation Desert Shield/Storm seem like a noble undertaking.

    When in reality, it was based on an equal amount of mendacity as Bush 43’s war.

  26. 26.

    Don K

    @NobodySpecial:

    I would think the Cowboy fans would take pity on you for suffering from this strange delusion that the Lions are an actual pro team (I say that as someone who’s lived in the Detroit area 32 years, but who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about pro football).

  29. 29.

    Corner Stone

    Honestly, the very idea that other men wanted to hog tie me for some kind of ritual/prank.
    Boggled, I am.

  30. 30.

    licensed to kill time

    I’d just like to say that it figures….John Cole finally posts a picture of himself and it’s from the back, 20 years ago.

    Now we know what his arm, his feet and his old back look like. Some day we may assemble all the pieces into a whole but I ain’t holding my breath ;)

    ¡Feliz Cumpleaños a ti    , Señor Cole!

  32. 32.

    NobodySpecial

    @Don K: Well, you see, in ’91 the Cowboys finally got back to the playoffs after a prolonged absence…and were pummeled by the Lions 38-6. Well, technically it was ’92, but it was the ’91 season.

  35. 35.

    Lesley

    Drudge hogtied you?

    The only thing that could make that funnier is photoshopping Tunch in as the moustachioed guy.

  39. 39.

    srv

    Not very good knot work, straighten your arms and the loops would become loose.

    I guess they weren’t expecting many prisoners.

  40. 40.

    licensed to kill time

    @bago:

    The bitches and the mops they on my back
    Hogtied by my platoon man that’s so whack
    I post for them a picture back from ’91
    Can’t see my face bitches I’m just havin’ fun
    With all y’all, take that!

  41. 41.

    Sarah in Brooklyn

    Happy birthday! I’m glad they untied you so you could go on to make the internet worth looking at.

  42. 42.

    Corner Stone

    That is me, on my 21st birthday in 1991 in Kuwait

    Do you ever stop and think “Holy Fudge. I’m over 40!”

  47. 47.

    Scamp Dog

    @Cacti: Really? The basic idea was that Saddam’s invasion of Kuwait shouldn’t be allowed to stand: Kicking ass so you can steal stuff (Kuwaiti oil, etc), should be fought against, and that’s something of a principle (or what passes for one) in international relations.

    I am aware of some of the propaganda lies, like the one about stealing of incubators from hospitals. That didn’t happen, and shouldn’t have been pimped like it was, but the bottom-line justification for war was reversing the invasion, which was true. Unlike the latest war justifications: the non-existent WMDs and imaginary Al-Qaeda connection, and the democracy promotion nonsense that was the backup reason after the WMD story fell through.

  48. 48.

    Tim

    Hmmm…hot, sadomasochistic man-love disguised as macho, military buddy “friendship.” HAWT

    How was the subsequent gang butt rape?

    Or can I ask that without danger of initiating another epic Lara Logan thread?

  50. 50.

    Mike E

    @Scamp Dog: As much as I hated our forces having to re-install the perfumed asses of the Kuwaiti rulers back on their golden thrones, this was one of those “slam dunk” cases of beating back an invasion. I just wished they had continued strafing clearing the Baghdad Highway, as Gen Schwarzkopf was very keen on doing at the time, thus eliminating a very shitty timeline.

  52. 52.

    Citizen Alan

    @Corner Stone:

    Honestly, the very idea that other men wanted to hog tie me for some kind of ritual/prank. Boggled, I am.

    Honestly, I have believed for many years now that opposition to repealing DADT on the part of military brass was not truly driven by homophobia per se (that is, actual fear of gays) but by other related factors. One of those factors was the fear that allowing gays to serve openly might shine a spotlight on this sort of late night male-bonding/horseplay, some of which might have homoerotic overtones if you look at it from the right perspective.

    For instance, look back at that picture. Now imagine that one or both of the people in it were openly gay. How would that knowledge change the way most Americans (and especially, most conservative Americans) would view this harmless bit of fun? And this pic is nothing compared to stuff like the Shellback Initiation.

  59. 59.

    JWL

    The good part about getting older is that you wise up. Assuming, of course, a person had anything on the ball to begin with. Age does impose a certain wisdom. A person can roll with punches that would have KO’d them in earlier times.

    That noted, may God help me, if, in my lifetime, the Niners ever get back to the Super Bowl, only to lose.

    Should that happen, I will reflect on your courage and stoicism, Cole, and sup on your strength.

  60. 60.

    Yutsano

    O-tanjyoobi o omedeto gozaimasu and all that crap.

    EDIT: I put something up in Japanese, then misspell it. I need more sleep.

  61. 61.

    Ruckus

    Four of us conned talked a guy into a straight jacket when I was in the navy. He didn’t like it much. But we were bored and it seemed like a good idea at the time. And it was.

  62. 62.

    uila

    Could somebody please photoshop Lynndie England in there? At the very least give that guy a cigarette and a thumbs up.

  63. 63.

    Beauzeaux

    Sigh…for the third time since I started reading this blog, my username has been taken by someone else. Guess it’s time for me to quit!

  64. 64.

    Tattoosydney

    @srv:

    Not very good knot work, straighten your arms and the loops would become loose.

    That was my first thought. It’s not proper hog tying unless your hands and feet are tied together behind your back. Most people could get out of that wimpy rope work in about ten seconds. Amateurs.

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