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You are here: Home / Justice / Women's Rights / Contraception Clusterfuck / All the Pretty Horses

All the Pretty Horses

by Imani Gandy (ABL)|  February 23, 20117:18 pm| 45 Comments

This post is in: Contraception Clusterfuck, Republican Stupidity, Vagina Outrage, Assholes

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“Horses, horses, horses, horses”

The GOP hates them some womenses, but loves them some horsies!

During a month in which the anti-choice Republican and Tea Party majority in Congress and in many states have made it their priority mission to eliminate access to contraception for women here and abroad, and on the very same day that the House planned to vote to take away birth control for women living in poverty in the US and eliminate funding for international family planning, you will be happy to know that there is at least one group the GOP believes deserves access to contraception.

Wild horses.

You just can’t make this shit up.



[cross-posted here at Angry Black Lady Chronicles]

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Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    MikeJ

    February 23, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    Is there supposed to be a link to a Patti Smith video there?

    And why on earth does an h4 header display like a hyperlink?

  2. 2.

    Warren Terra

    February 23, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    Maybe they want women to be rocking on the horse-sized pills?

  3. 3.

    Violet

    February 23, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Horses aren’t women. Horses deserve to be treated with respect.

  4. 4.

    Origuy

    February 23, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Wild horses graze on land leased by ranchers for pennies per acre, eating plants that by rights should go to cattle.

  5. 5.

    dmsilev

    February 23, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Honestly, given the sexual proclivities of many GOP lawmakers, promoting safe sex for horses is just good sense.

    dms

  6. 6.

    GG

    February 23, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Their rationale for horse contraception is simple

  7. 7.

    Comrade Mary

    February 23, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    I think the disappearing video link is a FYWP move aimed at ABL.

    Here’s Patti, for those of you who love her like I do.

    God, I can’t even be happy that Republicans are actually on the side of the angels on the horse issues, given their massive fuckwittery everywhere else.

  8. 8.

    freelancer

    February 23, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    Wow, it’s like they’re cribbing off of Borat.

    We say eh.. God, eh man, house, dog, then woman, then rat, and then smaller croxilly, like little
    “Click Click Click Click!”

  9. 9.

    General Stuck

    February 23, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    wymins is easier to control pregnant, hungry, and guilt ridden. And besides, just one more thing to blame on liberals for making all them red states take the most welfare money from blue state tax payers. Then they get to rail about godless liberal lust, big government, welfare, deficit spending, and giving baby jeevus permanent colic. All of it the fault of Panned Parenthood, Lindsay Lohan, and Uncle Sam.

  10. 10.

    Quicksand

    February 23, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Oh man, this is REALLY going to piss off Horse Jesus.

  11. 11.

    MikeJ

    February 23, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    They used to round up the wild horses and sell them to dog food companies but people complained and stopped it. Contraceptives do seem like a better plan.

  12. 12.

    shawntos

    February 23, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    I remember a few years ago Texas outlawed sodomy but made bestiality legal. Or so sayeth David Cross.

  13. 13.

    Angry Black Lady

    February 23, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    @Quicksand: FTW.

  14. 14.

    shawntos

    February 23, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    I remember a few years ago Texas outlawed sodomy but made bestiality legal. Or so sayeth David Cross.

  15. 15.

    reader

    February 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Ah, extensive quoting from another source, little or no actual content (and if there is any, it must be littered with ALL CAPS, bold, italics, and sometimes ALL THREE), and random embedded videos…it must be an ABL post.

    Great contribution to the site.

  16. 16.

    General Stuck

    February 23, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    I remember a few years ago Texas outlawed sodomy but made bestiality legal.

    It gets lonely out there riding the range for weeks on end, just you, the cold, and yer horse.

    Of course, sheepherders can travel on foot and do okay in the lonely department.

  17. 17.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    February 23, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Only a foal would have an abortion!

  18. 18.

    JGabriel

    February 23, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    Contraception for Mare, but not for Marie.

    .

  19. 19.

    freelancer

    February 23, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    @JGabriel:

    For a filly, but not for a Phyllis.

  20. 20.

    Brian

    February 23, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    And all the Wingnuts sing:
    “Wild horses, at least they’re not gay…”

  21. 21.

    Warren Terra

    February 23, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    @shawntos:

    I remember a few years ago Texas outlawed sodomy

    I cannot let this pass without quoting from Molly Ivins’s wonderful column on the subject:

    The Texas Senate had a rare moment of courage and voted to remove homosexual sodomy from the revised version of the penal code. All were astonished. The revision made its way over to the House, where Representative Chisum promptly rose and introduced an amendment to reinstate the damn thing. The Housies were afraid everyone would think they were queer if they didn’t vote for it, so they did. Then some scholar explains to Chisum that unless he reinstates heterosexual sodomy as well, it’s going to be declared unconstitutional. So Chisum promptly rises and moves to do that.
    Whereupon we had one of the more bizarre debates in the history of the Lege, with assorted avant-garde members rising at the back mike to say approximately, “Uh, Warren, suppose I am in bed with my lawfully wedded spoise and I, like, kind of mis-aim and wind up in the wrong hole. You don’t want to send me to prison for that, do you?”
    Chisum would stoutly reply, “Yes, I do. It’s against nature and the Bible.” So the Housies were afraid everyone would think they were perverts if they didn’t vote it, so they did. Chisum then shook hands with his ally Talmadge Heflin of Houston in celevration of this double triumph, and the Speaker had to sent the sergeant of arms over to reprimand them both. Because under Chisum’s own amendments, it’s illegal for a prick to touch an asshole in this state.

    The whole column is worth reading, which you can do via an appropriate search at this Amazon link

  22. 22.

    jenn

    February 23, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    This isn’t quite as crazy as it sounds – well, the horse bit, anyway. (I recognize that the link makes that clear – just adding to the story.) Wild horse populations have an incredibly rapid growth rate, and are resulting in some pretty impressive environmental damage in some places here in the arid West. And, no, it’s not just a matter of wild horses competing with cattle for forage (though that is certainly a factor for some ranchers) – I’ve seen streams grazed by horses (and only horses) that are in as bad condition as the worst I’ve ever seen impacted by cattle grazing. However, the horse lobby is extremely strong, and the laws by which the BLM can capture horses pretty strict (with good reason – some of the abuses that led to this law were absolutely sickening), and the whole thing is incredibly expensive. Unfortunately, even before the economic downturn wild horse adoptions were difficult – now rescues are filled with horses folks have had to give up because of the recession. Hence, contraception measures for horses as a less expensive, and more humane, method of dealing with the situation.

    The GOP’s war on women? Crazy.

  23. 23.

    General Stuck

    February 23, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    @Warren Terra:

    That’s hilarious. I sure do miss Molly.

  24. 24.

    lamh32

    February 23, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    Ugh…this is so OT, but this from Chris Matthews is just too much.

    mediaite.com/tv/chris-matthews-on-obamas-libya-statement-it-doesnt-have-any-dignity/“>Chris Matthews On Obama’s Libya Statement: “It Doesn’t Have Any Dignity”

    Really Tweety, no “dignity”. And Howard Fineman and David Corn agreed.

  25. 25.

    Southern Beale

    February 23, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    “Horses, horses, horses, horses”

    I expected a link to Patti Smith.

    Memories of college. *Ahhh*

  26. 26.

    Southern Beale

    February 23, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    BTW, on Cenk’s show tonight they were talking about some crazy-assed Georgia Republican who wants to outlaw miscarriage. Not abortion, mind you, but miscarriage.

    I mean, just ENOUGH already. Time to go all Loreena Bobbitt on these assholes. In a figurative sense, of course. As a woman, I’m so fucking offended you have no idea.

  27. 27.

    chopper

    February 23, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    @General Stuck:

    i just can’t believe these people read the handmaid’s tale and thought shit, i want me some o that!

  28. 28.

    arguingwithsignposts

    February 23, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    So much going on today – everybody needs a kitteh!

  29. 29.

    Violet

    February 23, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    @chopper:

    i just can’t believe these people read the handmaid’s tale

    Read? Ha ha ha ha! They didn’t read anything, unless it was the Bible.

  30. 30.

    sukabi

    February 23, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    @Violet: and then only selected passages that support their points of view…

  31. 31.

    asiangrrlMN

    February 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    @Southern Beale: ABL posted about it down below. He wants to criminalize it. Here’s my take on it.

  32. 32.

    asiangrrlMN

    February 23, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Thanks. I needed that. That’s me commenting.

  33. 33.

    shawntos

    February 23, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    @Warren Terra

    Thanks for the link.

  34. 34.

    Roger Moore

    February 23, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    In fairness, feral horses are an invasive non-native species that probably ought to be extirpated from the West. If they can do that cheaper and more humanely with contraceptives than by slaughtering them, I’m all for it. The stupidity here is in making it hard for women to get contraceptives, not in using them on horses.

  35. 35.

    Amir_Khalid

    February 23, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Wild Horses? If it’s not the Rolling Stones, it has to be Susan Boyle.

  36. 36.

    maya

    February 23, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    @dmsilev: Yes. Why weren’t goats included?

  37. 37.

    Skalite

    February 23, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    I feel this is probably a good time to mention my amazing horse

    youtube.com/watch?v=GUl9_5kK9ts

  38. 38.

    Tax Analyst

    February 23, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Honestly, given the sexual proclivities of many GOP lawmakers, promoting safe sex for horses is just good sense.

    I knew somebody would beat me to that line.

  39. 39.

    Mnemosyne

    February 23, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Lady Smudge! The Somebody’s kittehs are also very cute, also too.

  40. 40.

    piratedan

    February 23, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    actually like the Sundays rendition, imho….although their best was still

    youtube.com/watch?v=n35C0j3LLB0

  41. 41.

    Angry Black Lady

    February 24, 2011 at 2:22 am

    @reader: shorter: waaaaaaaaaaah

  42. 42.

    ornery curmudgeon

    February 24, 2011 at 9:17 am

    @Roger Moore: Actually, horses are native to North America, and are NOT an “invasive” species. Horses became extinct in NA (overhunting by early humans is the likely reason) after crossing the Bering Strait into Asia and proliferating across the continent.

    Ranchers want to use the land, and every sanctuary set up for wild horses is being encroached upon. The idea of contraception is simply to eliminate wild horses from America. It has absolutely nothing to do with ‘helping’ the horses. At. All.

    Maybe it should also be pointed out that honoring horses is a part of human history: equestrian nations have led the world since antiquity. The decline of a people has historically preceded or coincided with the decline of their interest and skill in horsemanship. Honoring horses is part of the history of successful nations.

    Not saying this post or the commenters are showing disrespect, but it is entirely appropriate that a declining America should forget about and even begin to mock horses. Really, not everything has to be about the political failures of the United States.

  43. 43.

    ornery curmudgeon

    February 24, 2011 at 9:20 am

    @Roger Moore: Actually, horses are native to North America, and are NOT an “invasive” species. Horses became extinct in NA (overhunting by early humans is the likely reason) after crossing the Bering Strait into Asia and proliferating across the continent.

    Ranchers want to use the land, and every sanctuary set up for wild horses is being encroached upon. The idea of contraception is simply to eliminate wild horses from America. It has absolutely nothing to do with ‘helping’ the horses. At. All.

    Maybe it should also be pointed out that honoring horses is a part of human history: equestrian nations have led the world since antiquity. The decline of a people has historically preceded or coincided with the decline of their interest and skill in horsemanship. Honoring horses is part of the history of successful nations.

    Not saying this post or the commenters are showing disrespect, but it is entirely appropriate that a declining America should forget about and even begin to mock horses.

  44. 44.

    ornery curmudgeon

    February 24, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Sorry about the double post; was trying to edit out the last line about politics. It was unneeded.

    Oh and FYWP.

  45. 45.

    Disgusted

    February 25, 2011 at 1:49 am

    @Roger Moore and others mocking the wild horses. They are in fact native to America. They are protected animals. The land they live on was designated TO them in the wild horse and burro act of 1971. Studies have shown cattle do 100 times more damage than the wild horses and burros. 20 years ago there were 200,000 wild horses and approx. 30,000 burros. The BLM has rounded up all but a few and plan to round up the remaining 17,000-28,000 left in the wild. So you, yes you, can pay for their feed and care with YOUR tax dollars until every last wild mustang and burro are dead. They have been caught in lie after lie. They fudge the numbers of how many are actually on the land. They have no idea how many are actually left because they are using 10 year old data. Almost half the horses they round up seem to be missing and no one is even questioning this. So before you decide to mouth off, why don’t you educate yourself rather than making yourself look like a fool who knows very little about what he is spouting off about.
    The PZP they are using on the mares hasn’t even been tested. They are using these animals as guinea pigs. Have you ever seen what happens at these roundups? Animals break their necks, hips, legs and backs and die horrible deaths. Mares abort foals because they are run for miles without rest. Foals hooves literally fall off. Horses (seemingly unknown to you) have family bands. They show love to those in their band and try to protect them. Does a cow? Oh wait, who cares we eat those! Fools. All of you. EDUCATE YOURSELVES!!!! The cattle that graze on the land that was designated PRIMARILY FOR HORSES AND BURROS are not what you see in the grocery store. Only about 3% of those grazing on public land ever get slaughtered. So can you tell me why they are there? What is the REAL reason for the roundups? Do you even know? No. You don’t. So sad there are so many people out there with your same mentality. I’d bet you’ve never even been within 100 yards of a horse. You people make me sick.

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