My sister is running in the Pittsburgh marathon for the organization Girls on the Run of Magee-Womens Hospital, which is a life-changing, non-profit prevention program for girls in the 3rd through 8th grades. Their mission is “to educate and prepare girls for a lifetime of self-respect and healthy living.” If you have some spare scratch and would care to sponsor her, you can click here.
Additionally, she is doing the Bike MS Escape to the Lake- 150 mile Bike Ride to raise awareness for MS. If you would like to sponsor her for that, you can click here.
And for those of you wondering what I look like, I look like her, except I am male, you need to add a SHITLOAD of weight, and a scowl. Also, there are no pictures of me running in existence. Oh yeah, I wear glasses, too. I gave up on the contacts a couple years back thinking what’s another torpedo in a sinking ship.
Thanks for all of you who supported her last year and will again this year. These are good causes.
Redshirt
You should get some workout tips from your Sis, Cole.
General Stuck
Sounds a little soshulist to me. Good cause. am broke.
And fairly low to put up a pic of your beautiful in shape sis, and claim a look alike, even with the qualifiers.
Loneoak
Speaking of family comparisons, this is pretty awesome: The Qaddafis vs. The Bluths.
David Koch
What a piece of ass.
Comrade Mary
And a shitload of pet hair, too, I would guess.
I donated to her MS bike ride. She’s 3% there, folks!
Mike Kay (Chief of Staff)
Just found a photo of Cole: http://tinyurl.com/45vvxwd (not bad, quite the dresser).
licensed to kill time
Ha! The first thing I thought when I saw your sister’s picture was ‘Now we have a clue what JC looks like’! And that was before reading the post.
But you should quit running yourself down, as it were, about your appearance. (See, I worked in running there).
Xecky Gilchrist
@Redshirt: Totally. Anyone who can look that happy running has to have some kind of secret worth knowing.
Warren Terra
My mind, it is blown. No way John Cole is that pretty, even after correcting for the weight, the scowl, and the coating of pet hair.
stuckinred
@David Koch: Show some respect dork.
The Dangerman
Saturday Deep Thought: Which is more, a SHITLOAD or a FUCKTON? Pardon me while I ponder…
Dennis SGMM
She looks like a very nice person. What happened to you, Cole?
Dr. SkySkull
She does look happy. If it’s a marathon race, it’s either *very* early in the race or *very* late.
BGinCHI
Worried that the woman is yellow is about to go down like Frazier.
wenchacha
Beautiful sister and great cause. You both are doing good things!
Comrade Mary
I think that’s the finish line, based on the exultant pose taken by the woman at the right. So yeah, I’d be pretty happy, too, but a lot redder and sweatier.
eemom
wow. Pretty face, lovely smile, great figure.
So, I guess that means John Cole got the, um, brains in the family?
Violet
Your sister is cute and looks very fit. She also looks very happy to be running a marathon. Gotta be early or late.
Those are excellent causes. I’ll be supporting the MS150 in my location, so will be sending money that direction. I hope she does well with her fundraising. Good for you for supporting her in her endeavors.
stuckinred
@Comrade Mary: You think someone is finishing a half-marathon and only has a bit of sweat under their arms. . .no way!
Kristine
Heh. Funny photo label.
I will donate.
I wish I could run marathons. Half marathons. More than a few miles, and my knees, they complain. Blasted things.
stuckinred
@Kristine: That’s what swimming pools are for.
eemom
speaking of brains, John Cole, why in the name of sweet baby Jeezus, Mother Mary and Joseph did you let Toko-loko back in?? She’s over there doing the same old shit in last night’s open thread.
I don’t care if ED Kain is the anti-Christ at this point — this is some fucking CREEPY ass stalking going on here. Freakin Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction had nothing on this lunatic.
BGinCHI
@eemom: Plus, Kain’s posts have been fucking stellar lately.
stuckinred
@eemom: over where?
Mnemosyne
@stuckinred:
Not necessarily — most of the new wicking fabrics work really well, so it’s entirely conceivable that her shirt wouldn’t be dripping wet at the finish line the way it would be if she was wearing a cotton t-shirt.
stuckinred
@Mnemosyne: then her pits would be dry
licensed to kill time
@eemom: Found a picture of matoko_chan.
Or maybe this one.
res ipsa loquitur
She’s so pretty!
Have a great run…
Redshirt
No one should kid themselves: Long distance running/biking is a masochistic endeavour. And not so much the race itself, which is fun, but the training. But then, perhaps life itself is masochistic.
debbie
A good friend of mine founded the Columbus OH chapter of Girls on the Run a couple of years ago. It’s been incredibly successful and they’re having trouble keeping up with the demand for more classes.
aimai
Your sister is a knockout. Her smile simply lights up the page. You must be so proud.
aimai
Damien
Anyone who supports MS gets my support, my mother and both her sister’s have been diagnosed for the better part of a decade. Not sure if they have mud runs down your way, but they’re a hell of a blast. Think an army obstacle course but without the psycho instructors and for a good cause :)
Pangloss
Great picture. How did you get that angle?
Villago Delenda Est
OK, this is obviously fake. The woman in question is quite attractive. She can’t be related to Cole…
Villago Delenda Est
OK, this is obviously fake. The woman in question is quite attractive. She can’t be related to Cole…
J.W. Hamner
Since everyone has already said it, I should probably not… but people tend to like compliments, and your sister is lovely. Hope she does well in her race.
The beauty skipped the boys, eh?
PIGL
people have used “attractive”, “lovely”, “knockout”, “cute” and “beautiful” to describe your sister. True, these. Allow me to trademark “radiant”.
I’m sure it’s your love for your sister and cute furry animals and probably many other things that saved you from Republicanism.
I’ve concluded that one of the problems with Rethugs, as a group, is that they lack any deep fund of natural affections to go with all the Churchianity.
Tim
Damn, Cole, your sister shor is purty.
I bet you’re even purtier.
Cliff
@Mike Kay (Chief of Staff):
Ha!
Also, I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks Cole’s sister is hot.
Also, what’s with David Koch saying everyone is a piece of ass?
lizzy
If you have her smile then you must be HOT!
Villago Delenda Est
@Cliff:
To David Koch, everyone is a piece of meat.
PIGL
@Cliff: so you thot you were the only male equipped with vision-powers? I got news for you…
El Tiburon
Might I be invited to the next family gathering?
Cliff
@PIGL:
Let me put it this way – I thought I might be the only one crass enough to say it.
Sharl
Some background for David Koch’s “compliment” @4:
_
Lesley
I knew it. John Cole IS TUNCH.
Chyron HR
But does she have a dainty lady version of Tunch?
Omnes Omnibus
@Chyron HR:
That question makes no sense. Dainty version of Tunch? Seriously. Think before you type.
PIGL
@Cliff: apparently, you have no monopoly on crassitude, neither.
Only a heart of stone could look at that picture without cracking a smile. .
Yutsano
@Omnes Omnibus: “Do you think you could stop and think for a second before you answer a question?” is a proper response here as well.
Church Lady
@licensed to kill time: Thanks. I just spit a mouthful of Dr. Pepper all over my kitchen table.
You win the M-C put down, hands down. Who will you thank when you accept your award?
:)
Ash Can
She’s fabulous. I’ll have to see what I can do about kicking in a little scratch.
@David Koch: Cole’s gonna get your punk ass for that, bytch.
licensed to kill time
@Church Lady: All the cudlips.
And the little people who made it all possible. It’s empirical!
RosiesDad
@Redshirt: I’ve done the MS City to Shore (Cherry Hill, NJ to Ocean City) six times; this year will be #7. Along the way, I’ve made some great friends with whom I ride regularly. The camaraderie and the feeling that we are making a difference trump the aches and pains of training.
Jim, Once
She’s a beautiful young woman … and whoever used the word ‘radiant’? Yes. I’ve had to quit running until I grow some news knees, but loved it back in the day. Also love the causes she’s chosen to support – I’ll try to send some support of my own their way.
Warren Terra
Has anyone else had a problem with their comments disappearing into the ether?
Jim, Once
@Warren Terra: Not yet. But I’ve often wished it might have happened, esp. after +3.
eemom
@licensed to kill time:
I totally vote for the first one. That is SO her.
Jim, Once
@eemom:
Aww. You guys are starting to make me feel kinda sorry for little toko-chan. Remember: It’s the ones who are hardest to love who need it the most. (Says the former teacher/foster parent, who had to chant that mantra multiple times a day.)
srv
She’s got a ring on, so no, I don’t think anyone is eligible for the family reunion.
licensed to kill time
@eemom: If I had photoshop skills I would put the buggy wild eyes of the 2nd pic onto the 1st pic and stick a bone (w/EDK’s initials) in her mouth.
But I don’t, so y’all are just gonna have to imagine it.
Grr,grr!
P.S. Just a regular bone, stop those dirty thoughts.
Just Some Fuckhead
You must be really fucking hot, because she is.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@The Dangerman:
Fuckton> Boatload> Fuckload> Shitload> Assload> Crapload
(amazingly enough, both Boatload and Shitload pass the spell check)
Omnes Omnibus
@Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):Metric Fuckton, of course.
gnomedad
Well, it would take quite a few torpedoes to ruin her, so you may be in better shape than you think.
Svensker
Yes, she’s lovely, fit, radiant, etc., etc. But she also looks like a really nice person. An appropriate sibling for our cactus-on-the-outside-sugar-puff-on-the-inside host.
taylormattd
Yowza and hubba hubba
cckids
Hey, John,as said above, please don’t be so hard on yourself. Your line about the contacts makes me worry about you a bit. I’m in somewhat the same condition, physically–too much weight, too little exercise, plus bad teeth I can’t afford to fix. I can only vow to work on what I can, each day. The AA folks have the “one day at a time” wisdom–works as well for attempting to get healthy/fit. Do what you can, each time you can. And quit beating yourself up!!
PS, your sister seems to be a lovely person, inside & out. I’m currently leading a troop of teenage Girl Scouts, they are looking for a project related to helping tween-age girls stay/get physically fit. The run gives me some ideas.
Batocchio
Good causes and a great pic. I’ll probably contribute to the MS biking thing shortly – I’m thinking of doing the MS walk in April out here in Pasadena, or donating to it, or both.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@Omnes Omnibus:
Of course.
Now I’m getting off of this thread before I say anything about Cole’s hot sister that might get me beaten up.
WaterGirl
@Svensker: Yep. That’s why radiance is such a good fit. Beautiful on the outside, happy on the inside.
Devon
I have receive several contributions already and I REALLY appreciate it!!!! Especially because I am responsible for the amount I pledged regardless if I am able to solicit it through contributions or not. And thanks also for the compliments. I am totally embarassed and currently my face is even redder than when I run. I am glad that my gross, sweaty armpits have been shared with the entire Balloon-Juice Universe. Mon dieu. Oh well. It is for a good cause. Thanks again for the support.
WaterGirl
@aimai: May I ask what you do for a living? You often put words to exactly what I am thinking, but don’t quite know how to express. It’s more than your skill with words, it’s what you are trying to express as well.
Devon
I have received…John did get the brains.
Yutsano
@Devon:
I think they got divvied up rather equally IMHO.
Angry Black Lady
My father has MS. I applaud your sister.
Angry Black Lady
@Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): a metric fuckton is the biggest, i think.
eemom
@Angry Black Lady:
oh sheeyit, ABL…..are you fat-phobing AGAIN?!?
asiangrrlMN
@Devon: You are radiant, and you look happy. You go, girl.
Legalize
I ran today too. Not a marathon, but a preparatory 10k sponsored by a local non-profit organization that advances child health through nutrition education. Total soshalism. Moreover, I plan on having wings later, which makes me worse than Michelle Obama, and way worse than Cole’s sister.
Angry Black Lady
@eemom: HAHAHAHA. nice one.
patrick II
Your sister is a very lovely young lady — reminds me of the actress Maria Bello.
eemom
@Devon:
naw, you got both.
pssst: Any chance you could slip us a picture of brother John??
benintn
My brother’s wife runs GOTR in the Research Triangle area. Great organization. Awesome.
M--pop
Donated a little bit because any program that empowers young women has my support. Got a thank you note from Devon – it was unexpected but very nice! Thank you, John, for bringing this to everyone’s attention!
RedKitten
Damn, Devon. You DO look a bit like Maria Bello. My potato-chip eating post-baby-weight ass just looked at you, put away the bag of potato chips, and is doing some serious thinking about the fact that I’m only 36 and have no excuse to have let myself go like this.
Just Some Fuckhead
@RedKitten: Oh stop it. You are fine fine looking woman.
EnfantTerrible
Physical beauty is dime-a-dozen, John. What grabbed me was your sister’s inner beauty shining through, as it sometimes does with you.
General Stuck
@EnfantTerrible:
You know, I have to agree with you. I usually get stuck on the outer beauty thing, but each time I scroll past this post, that smile is simply stunning, and filled with inner beauty.
Her blogging brother may have that too, but there is more shoveling to do to find that particular pony.
Ronzoni
“I gave up on the contacts a couple years back thinking whatās another torpedo in a sinking ship.”
Great Line, Cole. LMAO
Jebediah
@The Dangerman:
A fuckton = 10x(the square root of (a shitload cubed)).