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You are here: Home / Open Threads / And She Ran

And She Ran

by John Cole|  March 5, 201112:42 pm| 91 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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My sister is running in the Pittsburgh marathon for the organization Girls on the Run of Magee-Womens Hospital, which is a life-changing, non-profit prevention program for girls in the 3rd through 8th grades. Their mission is “to educate and prepare girls for a lifetime of self-respect and healthy living.” If you have some spare scratch and would care to sponsor her, you can click here.

Additionally, she is doing the Bike MS Escape to the Lake- 150 mile Bike Ride to raise awareness for MS. If you would like to sponsor her for that, you can click here.

And for those of you wondering what I look like, I look like her, except I am male, you need to add a SHITLOAD of weight, and a scowl. Also, there are no pictures of me running in existence. Oh yeah, I wear glasses, too. I gave up on the contacts a couple years back thinking what’s another torpedo in a sinking ship.

Thanks for all of you who supported her last year and will again this year. These are good causes.

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Reader Interactions

91Comments

  1. 1.

    Redshirt

    March 5, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    You should get some workout tips from your Sis, Cole.

  2. 2.

    General Stuck

    March 5, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    Their mission is “to educate and prepare girls for a lifetime of self-respect and healthy living

    Sounds a little soshulist to me. Good cause. am broke.

    And fairly low to put up a pic of your beautiful in shape sis, and claim a look alike, even with the qualifiers.

  3. 3.

    Loneoak

    March 5, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    Speaking of family comparisons, this is pretty awesome: The Qaddafis vs. The Bluths.

  4. 4.

    David Koch

    March 5, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    What a piece of ass.

  5. 5.

    Comrade Mary

    March 5, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    And for those of you wondering what I look like, I look like her, except I am male, you need to add a SHITLOAD of weight, and a scowl.

    And a shitload of pet hair, too, I would guess.

    I donated to her MS bike ride. She’s 3% there, folks!

  6. 6.

    Mike Kay (Chief of Staff)

    March 5, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Just found a photo of Cole: http://tinyurl.com/45vvxwd (not bad, quite the dresser).

  7. 7.

    licensed to kill time

    March 5, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Ha! The first thing I thought when I saw your sister’s picture was ‘Now we have a clue what JC looks like’! And that was before reading the post.

    But you should quit running yourself down, as it were, about your appearance. (See, I worked in running there).

  8. 8.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    March 5, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    @Redshirt: Totally. Anyone who can look that happy running has to have some kind of secret worth knowing.

  9. 9.

    Warren Terra

    March 5, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    My mind, it is blown. No way John Cole is that pretty, even after correcting for the weight, the scowl, and the coating of pet hair.

  10. 10.

    stuckinred

    March 5, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    @David Koch: Show some respect dork.

  11. 11.

    The Dangerman

    March 5, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Saturday Deep Thought: Which is more, a SHITLOAD or a FUCKTON? Pardon me while I ponder…

  12. 12.

    Dennis SGMM

    March 5, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    She looks like a very nice person. What happened to you, Cole?

  13. 13.

    Dr. SkySkull

    March 5, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    She does look happy. If it’s a marathon race, it’s either *very* early in the race or *very* late.

  14. 14.

    BGinCHI

    March 5, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    Worried that the woman is yellow is about to go down like Frazier.

  15. 15.

    wenchacha

    March 5, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    Beautiful sister and great cause. You both are doing good things!

  16. 16.

    Comrade Mary

    March 5, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    I think that’s the finish line, based on the exultant pose taken by the woman at the right. So yeah, I’d be pretty happy, too, but a lot redder and sweatier.

  17. 17.

    eemom

    March 5, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    wow. Pretty face, lovely smile, great figure.

    So, I guess that means John Cole got the, um, brains in the family?

  18. 18.

    Violet

    March 5, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Your sister is cute and looks very fit. She also looks very happy to be running a marathon. Gotta be early or late.

    Those are excellent causes. I’ll be supporting the MS150 in my location, so will be sending money that direction. I hope she does well with her fundraising. Good for you for supporting her in her endeavors.

  19. 19.

    stuckinred

    March 5, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    @Comrade Mary: You think someone is finishing a half-marathon and only has a bit of sweat under their arms. . .no way!

  20. 20.

    Kristine

    March 5, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Heh. Funny photo label.

    I will donate.

    I wish I could run marathons. Half marathons. More than a few miles, and my knees, they complain. Blasted things.

  21. 21.

    stuckinred

    March 5, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    @Kristine: That’s what swimming pools are for.

  22. 22.

    eemom

    March 5, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    speaking of brains, John Cole, why in the name of sweet baby Jeezus, Mother Mary and Joseph did you let Toko-loko back in?? She’s over there doing the same old shit in last night’s open thread.

    I don’t care if ED Kain is the anti-Christ at this point — this is some fucking CREEPY ass stalking going on here. Freakin Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction had nothing on this lunatic.

  23. 23.

    BGinCHI

    March 5, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    @eemom: Plus, Kain’s posts have been fucking stellar lately.

  24. 24.

    stuckinred

    March 5, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    @eemom: over where?

  25. 25.

    Mnemosyne

    March 5, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    @stuckinred:

    Not necessarily — most of the new wicking fabrics work really well, so it’s entirely conceivable that her shirt wouldn’t be dripping wet at the finish line the way it would be if she was wearing a cotton t-shirt.

  26. 26.

    stuckinred

    March 5, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    @Mnemosyne: then her pits would be dry

  27. 27.

    licensed to kill time

    March 5, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    @eemom: Found a picture of matoko_chan.

    Or maybe this one.

  28. 28.

    res ipsa loquitur

    March 5, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    She’s so pretty!

    Have a great run…

  29. 29.

    Redshirt

    March 5, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    No one should kid themselves: Long distance running/biking is a masochistic endeavour. And not so much the race itself, which is fun, but the training. But then, perhaps life itself is masochistic.

  30. 30.

    debbie

    March 5, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    A good friend of mine founded the Columbus OH chapter of Girls on the Run a couple of years ago. It’s been incredibly successful and they’re having trouble keeping up with the demand for more classes.

  31. 31.

    aimai

    March 5, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Your sister is a knockout. Her smile simply lights up the page. You must be so proud.

    aimai

  32. 32.

    Damien

    March 5, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    Anyone who supports MS gets my support, my mother and both her sister’s have been diagnosed for the better part of a decade. Not sure if they have mud runs down your way, but they’re a hell of a blast. Think an army obstacle course but without the psycho instructors and for a good cause :)

  33. 33.

    Pangloss

    March 5, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    Great picture. How did you get that angle?

  34. 34.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 5, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    OK, this is obviously fake. The woman in question is quite attractive. She can’t be related to Cole…

  35. 35.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 5, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    OK, this is obviously fake. The woman in question is quite attractive. She can’t be related to Cole…

  36. 36.

    J.W. Hamner

    March 5, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    Since everyone has already said it, I should probably not… but people tend to like compliments, and your sister is lovely. Hope she does well in her race.

    The beauty skipped the boys, eh?

  37. 37.

    PIGL

    March 5, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    people have used “attractive”, “lovely”, “knockout”, “cute” and “beautiful” to describe your sister. True, these. Allow me to trademark “radiant”.

    I’m sure it’s your love for your sister and cute furry animals and probably many other things that saved you from Republicanism.

    I’ve concluded that one of the problems with Rethugs, as a group, is that they lack any deep fund of natural affections to go with all the Churchianity.

  38. 38.

    Tim

    March 5, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    Damn, Cole, your sister shor is purty.

    I bet you’re even purtier.

  39. 39.

    Cliff

    March 5, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    @Mike Kay (Chief of Staff):
    Ha!

    Also, I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks Cole’s sister is hot.

    Also, what’s with David Koch saying everyone is a piece of ass?

  40. 40.

    lizzy

    March 5, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    If you have her smile then you must be HOT!

  41. 41.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 5, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    @Cliff:

    To David Koch, everyone is a piece of meat.

  42. 42.

    PIGL

    March 5, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    @Cliff: so you thot you were the only male equipped with vision-powers? I got news for you…

  43. 43.

    El Tiburon

    March 5, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    Might I be invited to the next family gathering?

  44. 44.

    Cliff

    March 5, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    @PIGL:
    Let me put it this way – I thought I might be the only one crass enough to say it.

  45. 45.

    Sharl

    March 5, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Some background for David Koch’s “compliment” @4:
    _

    Walker: Oh yeah, but who watches that? I went on “Morning Joe” this morning. I like it because I just like being combative with those guys, but, uh. You know they’re off the deep end.
    __
    Koch: Joe—Joe’s a good guy. He’s one of us.
    __
    Walker: Yeah, he’s all right. He was fair to me…[bashes NY Senator Chuck Schumer, who was also on the program.]
    __
    Koch: Beautiful; beautiful. You gotta love that Mika Brzezinski; she’s a real piece of ass.
    __
    Walker: Oh yeah.

  46. 46.

    Lesley

    March 5, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    And for those of you wondering what I look like, I look like her, except I am male, you need to add a SHITLOAD of weight, and a scowl.

    I knew it. John Cole IS TUNCH.

  47. 47.

    Chyron HR

    March 5, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    But does she have a dainty lady version of Tunch?

  48. 48.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 5, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    @Chyron HR:

    But does she have a dainty lady version of Tunch?

    That question makes no sense. Dainty version of Tunch? Seriously. Think before you type.

  49. 49.

    PIGL

    March 5, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    @Cliff: apparently, you have no monopoly on crassitude, neither.

    Only a heart of stone could look at that picture without cracking a smile. .

  50. 50.

    Yutsano

    March 5, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: “Do you think you could stop and think for a second before you answer a question?” is a proper response here as well.

  51. 51.

    Church Lady

    March 5, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    @licensed to kill time: Thanks. I just spit a mouthful of Dr. Pepper all over my kitchen table.

    You win the M-C put down, hands down. Who will you thank when you accept your award?

    :)

  52. 52.

    Ash Can

    March 5, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    She’s fabulous. I’ll have to see what I can do about kicking in a little scratch.

    @David Koch: Cole’s gonna get your punk ass for that, bytch.

  53. 53.

    licensed to kill time

    March 5, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    @Church Lady: All the cudlips.

    And the little people who made it all possible. It’s empirical!

  54. 54.

    RosiesDad

    March 5, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    @Redshirt: I’ve done the MS City to Shore (Cherry Hill, NJ to Ocean City) six times; this year will be #7. Along the way, I’ve made some great friends with whom I ride regularly. The camaraderie and the feeling that we are making a difference trump the aches and pains of training.

  55. 55.

    Jim, Once

    March 5, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    She’s a beautiful young woman … and whoever used the word ‘radiant’? Yes. I’ve had to quit running until I grow some news knees, but loved it back in the day. Also love the causes she’s chosen to support – I’ll try to send some support of my own their way.

  56. 56.

    Warren Terra

    March 5, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Has anyone else had a problem with their comments disappearing into the ether?

  57. 57.

    Jim, Once

    March 5, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    @Warren Terra: Not yet. But I’ve often wished it might have happened, esp. after +3.

  58. 58.

    eemom

    March 5, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    @licensed to kill time:

    I totally vote for the first one. That is SO her.

  59. 59.

    Jim, Once

    March 5, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    @eemom:

    Aww. You guys are starting to make me feel kinda sorry for little toko-chan. Remember: It’s the ones who are hardest to love who need it the most. (Says the former teacher/foster parent, who had to chant that mantra multiple times a day.)

  60. 60.

    srv

    March 5, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    She’s got a ring on, so no, I don’t think anyone is eligible for the family reunion.

  61. 61.

    licensed to kill time

    March 5, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    @eemom: If I had photoshop skills I would put the buggy wild eyes of the 2nd pic onto the 1st pic and stick a bone (w/EDK’s initials) in her mouth.

    But I don’t, so y’all are just gonna have to imagine it.

    Grr,grr!

    P.S. Just a regular bone, stop those dirty thoughts.

  62. 62.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 5, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    And for those of you wondering what I look like, I look like her

    You must be really fucking hot, because she is.

  63. 63.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    March 5, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    @The Dangerman:

    Saturday Deep Thought: Which is more, a SHITLOAD or a FUCKTON? Pardon me while I ponder…

    Fuckton> Boatload> Fuckload> Shitload> Assload> Crapload

    (amazingly enough, both Boatload and Shitload pass the spell check)

  64. 64.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 5, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):Metric Fuckton, of course.

  65. 65.

    gnomedad

    March 5, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    Well, it would take quite a few torpedoes to ruin her, so you may be in better shape than you think.

  66. 66.

    Svensker

    March 5, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    Yes, she’s lovely, fit, radiant, etc., etc. But she also looks like a really nice person. An appropriate sibling for our cactus-on-the-outside-sugar-puff-on-the-inside host.

  67. 67.

    taylormattd

    March 5, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Yowza and hubba hubba

  68. 68.

    cckids

    March 5, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Hey, John,as said above, please don’t be so hard on yourself. Your line about the contacts makes me worry about you a bit. I’m in somewhat the same condition, physically–too much weight, too little exercise, plus bad teeth I can’t afford to fix. I can only vow to work on what I can, each day. The AA folks have the “one day at a time” wisdom–works as well for attempting to get healthy/fit. Do what you can, each time you can. And quit beating yourself up!!

    PS, your sister seems to be a lovely person, inside & out. I’m currently leading a troop of teenage Girl Scouts, they are looking for a project related to helping tween-age girls stay/get physically fit. The run gives me some ideas.

  69. 69.

    Batocchio

    March 5, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    Good causes and a great pic. I’ll probably contribute to the MS biking thing shortly – I’m thinking of doing the MS walk in April out here in Pasadena, or donating to it, or both.

  70. 70.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    March 5, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Of course.

    Now I’m getting off of this thread before I say anything about Cole’s hot sister that might get me beaten up.

  71. 71.

    WaterGirl

    March 5, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    @Svensker: Yep. That’s why radiance is such a good fit. Beautiful on the outside, happy on the inside.

  72. 72.

    Devon

    March 5, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    I have receive several contributions already and I REALLY appreciate it!!!! Especially because I am responsible for the amount I pledged regardless if I am able to solicit it through contributions or not. And thanks also for the compliments. I am totally embarassed and currently my face is even redder than when I run. I am glad that my gross, sweaty armpits have been shared with the entire Balloon-Juice Universe. Mon dieu. Oh well. It is for a good cause. Thanks again for the support.

  73. 73.

    WaterGirl

    March 5, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    @aimai: May I ask what you do for a living? You often put words to exactly what I am thinking, but don’t quite know how to express. It’s more than your skill with words, it’s what you are trying to express as well.

  74. 74.

    Devon

    March 5, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    I have received…John did get the brains.

  75. 75.

    Yutsano

    March 5, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    @Devon:

    John did get the brains

    I think they got divvied up rather equally IMHO.

  76. 76.

    Angry Black Lady

    March 5, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    My father has MS. I applaud your sister.

  77. 77.

    Angry Black Lady

    March 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): a metric fuckton is the biggest, i think.

  78. 78.

    eemom

    March 5, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    @Angry Black Lady:

    a metric fuckton

    oh sheeyit, ABL…..are you fat-phobing AGAIN?!?

  79. 79.

    asiangrrlMN

    March 5, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    @Devon: You are radiant, and you look happy. You go, girl.

  80. 80.

    Legalize

    March 5, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    I ran today too. Not a marathon, but a preparatory 10k sponsored by a local non-profit organization that advances child health through nutrition education. Total soshalism. Moreover, I plan on having wings later, which makes me worse than Michelle Obama, and way worse than Cole’s sister.

  81. 81.

    Angry Black Lady

    March 5, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    @eemom: HAHAHAHA. nice one.

  82. 82.

    patrick II

    March 5, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Your sister is a very lovely young lady — reminds me of the actress Maria Bello.

  83. 83.

    eemom

    March 5, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    @Devon:

    naw, you got both.

    pssst: Any chance you could slip us a picture of brother John??

  84. 84.

    benintn

    March 5, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    My brother’s wife runs GOTR in the Research Triangle area. Great organization. Awesome.

  85. 85.

    M--pop

    March 5, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    Donated a little bit because any program that empowers young women has my support. Got a thank you note from Devon – it was unexpected but very nice! Thank you, John, for bringing this to everyone’s attention!

  86. 86.

    RedKitten

    March 5, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Damn, Devon. You DO look a bit like Maria Bello. My potato-chip eating post-baby-weight ass just looked at you, put away the bag of potato chips, and is doing some serious thinking about the fact that I’m only 36 and have no excuse to have let myself go like this.

  87. 87.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 5, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    @RedKitten: Oh stop it. You are fine fine looking woman.

  88. 88.

    EnfantTerrible

    March 5, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    Physical beauty is dime-a-dozen, John. What grabbed me was your sister’s inner beauty shining through, as it sometimes does with you.

  89. 89.

    General Stuck

    March 5, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    @EnfantTerrible:

    You know, I have to agree with you. I usually get stuck on the outer beauty thing, but each time I scroll past this post, that smile is simply stunning, and filled with inner beauty.

    Her blogging brother may have that too, but there is more shoveling to do to find that particular pony.

  90. 90.

    Ronzoni

    March 6, 2011 at 4:15 am

    “I gave up on the contacts a couple years back thinking what’s another torpedo in a sinking ship.”

    Great Line, Cole. LMAO

  91. 91.

    Jebediah

    March 6, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    @The Dangerman:
    A fuckton = 10x(the square root of (a shitload cubed)).

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