Ball?
Max was neutered today. A nurse phoned me this afternoon to let me know that that the little guy had recovered so fast that they would let us pick him up right away rather than keep him overnight for observation. When we got home Max tried to cry a little for food but all that came out was a hoarse little rasp.
You know, I hear people say all the time that the vet staff loves their pet most of all. I figured that they must tell every dog owner that. It turns out that is not the case.
Chat about whatever.
MagicPanda
That is a beautiful photograph. Did you take it?
Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther
It’s pictures like this what will eventually convince that I won’t actually loathe scooping poop that much.
Awww!
Cliff in NH
Anyone in the SC, NC, GA area:
http://mollymaesden.blogspot.com/2011/03/someone-please-adopt-me.html
Someone Please Adopt Me!?!
Adopt Juliet Please!
Oconee Humane Society
I’m trying to find a home for Juliet, a beautiful black lab/retriever up for adoption at our local animal shelter. She’s four years old with a gentle disposition. She came from a loving home whose owners could no long afford to keep her. She’s playful, has good manners and loves to sit close and give big kisses. She would make a wonderful companion. Juliet can be seen at the Oconee County Animal Shelter week days from 10 to 5 and Saturdays from 10 to 2.
wonkie
He’s a darling.
Tim F.
@MagicPanda: Thanks, and yes. Max is very patient when there’s some ball throwing in it for him.
Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther
Oh, oh, hey, I have a pet-related story to share!
Did y’all see the story in the current National Geographic about foxes bred to be pets? It’s a fascinating look at how animals may have been domesticated.
Interestingly, people who theorize about this theorize that cats domesticated themselves, coming around for the rodents that attend any human pile of scraps and eventually moving in. Which might go a very long way to explaining why cats are really rather certain that we are here to serve them.
http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/featurehub
(check out the picture of the angry rat!)
General Stuck
Incredibly, to me anyways, Charlie was picked up as a stray and was at the animal shelter for more than a month and no one would adopt him. So one of our local vets volunteered to neuter him for free, so maybe somebody would take him. I happened by only a couple of days after he was neutered and there was no doubt for me, neutered or not.
When I took him back to the vet a couple of months ago for his rabies booster, it was obvious to me, though biased for sure, that they were happy to see him and that he had found a home.
So I guess you got to here it one more time.
Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther
@Tim F.: D’aw, look at his eyes!
Dude. That’s love.
General Stuck
And Max is a quite handsome fellow, and a fantastic photo.
Nom de Plume
Max tried to cry a little for food but all that came out was a hoarse little rasp.
Well duh, of course his voice changed. You just cut off his balls.
MattR
Wait. Does this mean they called Max a little fucker? Looking at that face, it doesn’t seem possible. Glad he survived being tutored.
PS. Have you seen this device?
Tim F.
@MattR: Max was hoarse from making noise. The first time they called me, just after the operation, the nurse was behind a couple of doors on the far side of the building and I could still hear my little guy calling out.
Anne Laurie
Just out of curiosity, for how many hours did he bark/howl/whine non-stop?
Tim F.
@Anne Laurie: They called me at two and I picked him up at seven. Five hours isn’t that much time to call out, so he must have really been singing to the cheap seats.
TaMara (BHF)
@Tim F.: This is exactly what I thought when I read that…they begged you to take him home so he’d shut up. I’m glad he’s both neutered and doing okay. What an adorable photo.
Comrade Mary
@Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: Yes! I just saw this on the news stand today. WANT the picture of the angry rat as wallpaper, but they only have a small-ish picture in the gallery now.
God, Max has me rethinking scooping poop, too. He is so gorgeous.
Omnes Omnibus
Have you considered neuticles?
sfinny
My cat is the bane of my local vets. I adopted him from a group that does trap/neuter/release programs, so he was feral for some time. And trying to bring him to a new vet is trying, to say the least. He is unfriendly to people and other animals. When finally extrapolated from the carrier, he becomes the boneless cat that appears comatose to anyone new. But if you touch him, he will draw blood. And this is so sad, given that at home he is a fun, joyful, affectionate cat. I try to explain this but it is hard when your supposed ball of fur is trying to gnaw the hand off the assistant.
This is why we haven’t gone to the vet lately.
MattR
@Tim F.: I can no longer leave Ellie with my mother to dog sit over night because of this problem. My mom is allergic to dogs so Ellie is banished to the downstairs half of the house. She whines a bit during the day, and she is fine at night if someone is downstairs with her (preferably me). But if it is just mom upstairs and Ellie downstairs, she whines and whines.
kdaug
This is from today?
Gina
That is a seriously handsome devil!
We’re gearing up for a new foster Rottie in a couple of weeks. She’ll be coming from Texas, via the rescue group I volunteer with, Rottie Empire Rescue in NY. We’re expecting to have a lot of ground to cover, as this dog is one of over 250 that were seized from a creepy “puppy mill” situation, so they’ve never had an inside dog kind of life. I’m looking forward to it, I like training and bringing these rescues out of their shell. Doggie makeovers FTW!
sfinny
BTW, Max looks great. Hopefully now that he is home, his reputation as a good dog is restored.
Dee Loralei
Tim, as a lover of dogs, that has to be one of the best pet pics ever. The look on his face just shows all the reasons we love dogs. He’s hopeful, playful, sweet, imprecatory,but wistfully happy, yet holding back. That is seriously an awesome photo. It shows everything we love about our dogs, and what annoys us most when we are otherwise busy. You need to enter that into a photo contest, it’s really some sort of seminal dog picture. And he’s really saying “please, please, please, BALL!”
Good job sir.
kdaug
My friends, we are officially ascending the far side of the Uncanny Vally. Behold.
ETA: I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords (natch). Strongly recommend you do the same. Immediately. Online, if possible. I’ll try to vouch for you guys.
But did I mention how much I love robots? Seriously, robots make me happier than anything else! Yea, Robots!
sfinny
@Gina: Thanks so much for rescuing the hard cases. Cats may be trying, but dogs who have suffered take so much care and love. So I agree on the Doggie makeovers FTW!
sfinny
@kdaug: That has to be a person, a bluff. If robots are that good, well darn it, we are fried.
Dee Loralei
@Gina:
I think “Doggie Makeovers” should be THE new Animal Plane show for Fall 2011! That would be the only reality show I would ever be tempted to watch, outside of Mutual Of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.
Paul
Is Max straight up Rottie? Reminds me of a certain Rotten Lab who is sorely missed. Wonderful animals. Beautiful snapshot.
Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther
@Comrade Mary: It’s awesome — though I imagine one would have to scoop fox poop, too.
(Note: I grew up with dogs and really, really love them. I think it was the diapers, actually, that did me in on the “feces of other creatures” front. Perhaps when the now 7 and 11 year old are in high school…).
Gina
@Dee Loralei: I think there was one sort of like that, I can’t remember the exact title, but they’d take a shelter dog, have two or three families apply, and then they’d groom, train and vet the animal and see who would be the best fit. I would prefer something where they just focus on the dog and getting one family, not some bogus competitive thing.
@sfinny, I’m happy I’m able to take it on now. We’ve been the beneficiaries of getting a well-fostered dog, I’m hoping to return the favor in this way.
kdaug
@sfinny:
Only if they decide we’re not their friends.
All hail the robots!
Sarah, Proud and Tall
@Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther:
There’s some nice photos and footage of them here, dear. They’re quite lovely.
I remember that Brezhnev sent one of them to Richard and Pat in San Clemente after Richard was so cruelly hounded from office.
I was staying with them for the weekend – Pitty Pat had been hitting the cinnamon schnapps a bit too much and ranting about “fucking up Woodward and Bernstein” and Richard wanted me to, in his words, “have a fucking word with her”.
The poor little fox-doggy was brought in in a little box, which had been delivered by two very large Russian men in a black limousine.
Pat opened the lid and this adorable little grey and white thing beamed up at us and wagged its tail.
Then Richard looked in as well, and it immediately leapt straight upwards and latched onto his chin. They had to cover it with a blanket for ten minutes to make it let go.
Dogs know. Even dogs that are foxes.
Mnemosyne
@Gina:
You might be thinking of “Underdog to Wonderdog,” where they would pick a shelter dog for a family and get it trained, groomed, and build it a nice doghouse in the family’s backyard. I don’t think that particular show had a competition for the dog, it was more like “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” where people with sad stories (cancer, etc.) got the chance for a dog.
I think there was another one where it was a competition, but I don’t remember what it was called.
Mnemosyne
Not Keaton, or at least not when he had to be hospitalized for a week because of the fucking poisoned Chinese cat food. Apparently an extremely smart cat is a giant pain in the ass to care for at the vet since he does things like figure out how to get out of the e-collar so he can pull the needle that’s giving him intravenous liquids out of his leg. This was, of course, the second time he’d pulled the needle out, which is why they tried the e-collar in the first place. They ended up having to tie the e-collar around his neck with a strip of cloth and he was NOT happy about it.
Of course, when he’s not in a cage having needles stuck in him, he’s actually very friendly with the vet staff. They were able to clean his teeth without anesthetic because the vet tech was just holding him, so he didn’t feel trapped.
sfinny
@kdaug: But the robots are not our friends. See Hal. See, oh damn they are literary characters, they are not real. OK, they still creep me out.
Mary G
As a veteran of more surgeries than I prefer to contemplate, the hoarseness may very well be from difficult to incompetent intubation for the surgery. Sometimes I’ve come out of anesthesia just fine, others with a honking sore throat and raspiness that lasts for days.
My vet hates my cat. They don’t even pretend.
JenJen
Absolutely gorgeous photograph. I’d buy that and hang it on my wall in a heartbeat.
It perfectly captures all that is dog. Love it. Love love love it.
MattR
@Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: You should check out Dogs Decoded from NOVA. One of the segments is about the Russian fox experiments. One of the interesting things they point out, which the National Geographic article also touched on, was the correlation between behaviorial domestication and the evolution of different physical features that make the dogs appear more cuddly. Related to that, I found these paragraphs of the National Geographic aritcle fascinating for the possibilities that they hint at.
(EDIT: And to brag on my Ellie a bit, my last business trip was postponed by snow so I went into the vet/kennel to change Ellie’s reservation. One of the vet techs saw me come in and commented that I better not be cancelling her Ellie time)
kdaug
@sfinny: Oh, my friend, I’m afraid I’ll not be able to let this one go.
Ever watch ST:NG? Fancy flat screen consoles on every desk? Whiz-bang in the 80’s. Fucking iPads now.
Gotta look close to tell whether that robot’s a human or not, no? Firefighter, cop, soldier, spy, assassin? An expendable machine that can pass for human?
Extrapolate.
And no, I’m not drifting into m_c land – at least I don’t think so – but this is the fucking reality on the ground. Either recognize it or don’t, but don’t ignore the evidence before you.
I know it sounds all “crazy sci-fi”, and I’m sorry. But it appears to be coming, and I’d recommend watching the tide.
MattR
@kdaug: I think recent events have demonstrated that Republicans would add teachers to that list.
asiangrrlMN
@kdaug: I could tell in an instant he wasn’t human. I hate robots that look similar to humans. They’re just not right. Robots as robots? Fine.
Tim F., awwwww! Who’s a GOOD DOG? Max! Yes, he is.
OK, peeps. I’m getting married to Yutsano, and you are all invited. There is a ten-drink cap maximum (I know how you BJers are), and the colors are red, white, and blue. Read about it here. Oh, and you hafta buy me a gift.
FunkyDuck
Tim,
Just looked at your Flickr page. You have a bunch of terrific Max photos on there. Love the “Tell Me When” and the “Getting in the Spirit” pics (the latter obviously pre-surgery).
TBogg
That is an awesome picture. Wow.
kdaug
@MattR: As too politicians (and, perhaps, those behind the pulpit).
MattR
@asiangrrlMN: I just left my suggestion for a gift idea but the comment is in moderation.
(EDIT: I should clarify that the comment in moderation is over at ABL’s place)
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: :: looks for shiny metal object to distract wifey with ::
Oh and obligatory PUPPEH!! And a sweet Dobie too!
Comrade Mary
@Sarah, Proud and Tall: Sarah, I’m pretty sure you started trying out this persona under a different name a couple of weeks ago, and it didn’t go very well.
But you are really hitting your stride now. Between the Palin and the Nixon stories, I am won over. Beautiful.
asiangrrlMN
@MattR: Does it have a dick pill in the name? Or pen is somewhere in the suggestion? I can’t wait to see!
Actually, meepmeep over at Rumproast generously offered to buy this Steampunk toaster as a gift for me. It’s marvelous.
kdaug
@asiangrrlMN:
Here.
What the hell is the blue drink?
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: Hi, hon! Did you read my newest post? Plus, someone on my FB wall chastised me for not receiving an invite yet. I forgot about invitations! I’m thinking this. What sayeth you?
Yutsano
@kdaug:
Something related to curacao, like a blue Hawai’ian since I was born there.
@asiangrrlMN: Not bad, but keep hunting cause I’m sure there’s something even more Palin-worthy about.
asiangrrlMN
@kdaug: Yep. I wrote a post about the uncanny valley for a friend’s website. In my research, I discovered sex robots. Shudder.
Damn. The colors of the wedding are red white and blue, not the drinks. Though, I suppose I could have Blue Hawaiians. Or is that too foreign for a real American wedding?
@Yutsano: Jinx! Buy me a Blue Hawaiian! Hm. I forgot you were born in Hawaii….
MattR
@asiangrrlMN: Nope. I think it is cuz it is my first comment over at ABL’s place. Do you have the power to unlock it?
@kdaug: Blueberry daiquiri. And does that make it 30 drinks maximum – 10 red, 10 white and 10 blue?
Kristine
@Tim F.: When Gaby was coming out of the anesthetic after having been spayed, she whined and howled so much that the vet had to hold her mouth closed. It’s a really small clinic, and they could hear her *everywhere*.
That was the first hint the vet had that Gaby might be part Husky. Apparently they’re the champion whiners of the canine world.
They still love her there, though. Her face is her salvation.
asiangrrlMN
@MattR: Oh! You mean over there? I will go see.
ETA: I approved you. I got the power.
Drinks: NO. 10 TOTAL. Sheesh. You Juicers are such, well, juicers.
I do like daiquiris, though.
Yutsano
@MattR:
I find your ideas intriguing, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Anne Laurie
@Tim F.: The Spousal Unit’s late beloved Flicker, aka Buta-Hime-Sama, aka ‘80 pounds of grandiosity in a 15-pound papillon sack‘ hated hated HATED the vet and did her best to make sure the feeling was reciprocal. After one overnight stay, the vet tech reported that she’d been whining non-stop all evening, was still whining every time one of the attendants checked on the kennel run, and alternated whining & trying to bite every hand within range while she was put under. “And when I wheeled her back into the run, the big dogs in the crates under and next to her cowered away,” said the tech.
Mnemosyne
I keep hoping the thread below will explode into a mclaren vs. matoko_chan cage match before I have to go to bed, but no luck so far. I’ll check back in the morning and if there are 300 comments, I’ll know it went well.
Spaghetti Lee
I’m going to agree with the humanoid-robots-are-creepy sentiment. The only creepier things are their inventors, all the transhumanist libertarian types who eagerly look forward to a day when there’s nanites in our bloodstreams and eyeballs because it will make it easier to keep the riffraff out of their private spaceship full of robot sex slaves. If I had a chance to put an axe through that Watson machine, I absolutely would do it. If there’s such a thing as the devil’s work, I figure it’s gotta involve working hard to make humans obsolete.
Sorry if I sound a bit crazy about this, but I’ve got some deep-set hatred at work whenever the topic of advanced robotics comes up.
Beautiful dog, btw.
Kristine
@Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: Love the rat.
Sarah, Proud and Tall
@Comrade Mary:
This is the only persona I have dear, and I was born with it. Unless you’re referring to my brief period of MPD in the late seventies, in which case I have to say, dear, we don’t talk about that in company. Particularly not about Shirley or Mason. You don’t want to meet either of them, I promise.
Thankyou. I just tell it as I remember it. You must forgive me my occasional crudity – when you talk about horrible people you sometimes have to mention horrible things – and the odd bout of religious mania. Damn meds.
I’ve noticed that most of my stories about horrible people are about Republicans. I am sure that that is because I have spent so much of my life with Republicans, rather than that most Republicans are horrible people.
I must think of a horrible story about a Democrat.
MattR
@Mnemosyne: I think that was three threads down (Look Out Here Comes the Master Race)
@Yutsano: Does that mean that you have not seen the cinematic genius of Weird Al Yankovic that is UHF?
@Yutsano: I went looking for the video clip from UHF and all I could find were videos demonstrating how to make them. I bet Google will get you a good recipe.
Yutsano
@Spaghetti Lee: If they all get Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics I can deal with them. But without that safeguard I’m with you in the creeped out category.
Mnemosyne
@asiangrrlMN:
I’m afraid I’m short on cash for gifts, but I could knit you one of these as my contribution.
Spaghetti Lee
@Yutsano:
Well yes, but then you get into the utilitarian definition of “protecting humans” being preventing them from engaging in any conceivably dangerous activity. Will Smith knows this.
Yutsano
@MattR: Is it bad I was actually coming up with a way of MAKING blueberry daiquiris?
asiangrrlMN
@kdaug: I found the post I read by Googling it. Here it is.
@Spaghetti Lee: Wow. I’m not quite where you are, but close. If you read the link I posted (yes, I wrote it), you’ll see some of the things you hate in action.
Anne Laurie
@Yutsano:
Fair warning: the Spousal Unit once attended a bachelor party where the Blue Hawai’ian was the novelty drink of choice. He says that if he wasn’t a teetotaler beforehand, the memory of blue-tinted bodily fluids leaking from most of the groom’s orifices onto the carpet would probably keep him away from alcohol forever.
asiangrrlMN
@Mnemosyne: That’s awesome! You do good work. I would gladly take a dildo cozy. Jesus and/or Judas have to keep warm somehow. And, Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel) and his band are playing at my wedding, so I think they’d be amenable to playing, America, Fuck Yeah! as Yutsy and I walk out of the church.
Spaghetti Lee
@asiangrrlMN:
Nah, I’d be up all night worrying.
Ruckus
I figured that they must tell every dog owner that. It turns out that is not the case.
I have a couple of vets for customers and they tell me it’s not so much the pets (OK, sometimes it can be) but the owners. The ones with best dispositions usually have the best pets because behind closed doors they don’t trust any of our animals to not bite or claw them. It’s just safer that way.
Mnemosyne
@MattR:
Yes, but the thread below is the one Anne Laurie set up to defend mclaren, so that one really has the opportunity to watch two trolls go mano a mano.
J. Michael Neal
The folks at the vet hospital say that about Eddie all the time, except the ones that have to try to give him pills. Even they say that he’s wonderful, but also the hardest cat to pill they’ve ever dealt with. He doesn’t attack or scratch anyone, except accidentally as he’s trying to break free. He just won’t let you pill him. It takes two people.
On regular vet trips, the biggest problem he causes is that he’s purring so loudly that they can’t listen to his lungs and chest. We have to wait until we do something that really annoys him and then hurry to listen before the purring starts back up. Shoving a thermometer up his ass to take his temperature is usually good enough to get his heart.
Beyond that, I think they genuinely love him. And at this point, they are kind of awed by him, too. There aren’t enough documented cases of feline cutaneous lymphoma to be able to put together much of a prognosis for him, but they are clearly amazed that he’s still around and kicking. In addition to cancer, he also has hepatitis and what I’m pretty sure is some severe hay fever.
Anyone know how to get benadryl into a cat without just tossing a capsule down his throat?
asiangrrlMN
@Spaghetti Lee: Hm. Good point. I definitely could not shake it for a couple of days. Shudder shudder.
@Anne Laurie: OK, this cracked me the fuck up. For this reason alone, the blue drinks will be Blue Hawai’ians. White is champagne, of course. And red? Something with cranberry. I love cranberry juice. Or pomegranate, but that’s probably too hippie-dippy.
Yutsano
@Anne Laurie: I actually don’t drink anything besides wine. Not even beer. But I’m a rather decent mixologist. I can even do the floating liqueurs trick. Protip: Order matters.
@asiangrrlMN: Cranberries are berry American. So that settles that. Sex on the Beach is the red drink!
MattR
@Mnemosyne: If I buy the materials, can you piece together a pair of red, white and blue wetsuits? For our purposes, I don’t think they have to be watertight.
@Mnemosyne: Wasn’t sure if you saw the original source.
@Mnemosyne: You got there before I could edit my comment. Four wetsuits it is.
Mnemosyne
@MattR:
I hadn’t seen the original, but that’s what I get for working while I’m at work. ;-)
And wouldn’t we need four wetsuits, so the lovely couple can have two apiece?
Spaghetti Lee
@asiangrrlMN:
Read it any way, because I’m a schmuck.
That stuff doesn’t creep me out quite the way nanobot/singularity/human obsolescence stuff does, because there’s less chance I’ll be directly caught up in it. But those people are definitely creeps. I couldn’t get many dates in high school myself, but you don’t see me turning my impotent rage on a made-to-order sex slave because of it.
I’d say that these things are good so far as they keep creeps away from real women, but given that our society always takes the stupidest and most self-destructive road possible in any given situation, I’d put my bet more on a generation of men (and women) expecting their real-life partners to be more like robots.
JenJen
@TBogg: Happy (belated?) Birthday to the gorgeous, leggy Mrs. TBogg, by the way!
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: Ha! Ha ha ha! However, that makes the champers seem a little…well, boring (sorry Steepman). How can we JAZZ HANDS it up a bit?
@Spaghetti Lee: I actually had the same thought as you–if the robots can keep those men away from human women, then, that’s a good thing. However, you are right in that this kind of robot is not really the kind that is really worrisome.
Tattoosydney
@asiangrrlMN:
Hello. I’m excited to hear you are getting real-married and running for President.
I hope fake husbands get to go to the inauguration. I want to sit next to Ruth Bader-Ginsburg.
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@Mnemosyne:
Here, let me help. Obama, William the Conquerer, EDK fanboi, substrate, The 5th and 6th and 8th and 14th amendments, isomorph.
Now, everybody stand back.
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@asiangrrlMN: Fuckin A right. What key do you want it in?
Yutsano
@Tattoosydney: Just as a point of order, there is no requirement to be a natural born citizen to be a Supreme Court justice. Or even to be a citizen in fact.
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel): If it don’t involve the Sixteenth I don’t care.
asiangrrlMN
@Tattoosydney: At the wedding? At the wedding? Honey, you’re going to be IN THE DAMN WEDDING! If not as a groomsman, then an usher, or perhaps I will have you read a John Cole and menagerie story at the dinner. At the wedding, my ass.
Oh, wait. You said inauguration. My bad. You’re in like Flynn.
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel): You’re the musician. You choose whatever is best for you and the band! And, by the way, could you please keep the trollery out of this thread? This is all about ME and MY day as the BRIDE!
Tee-hee. This is so much fun.
@Yutsano: For realz? So, TS could be a on the SCOTUS? TOO COOL!
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@J. Michael Neal: My Shiva, 12yo basenji, is the worst pill taker I have ever had. It’s not that she struggles. No, she is content to sit there with me holding her mouth closed as the pill slowly dissolves un-swallowed. She will actually close her eyes and start to nod off. “I can wait this out, Pops. You’ll have to go to work or something eventually.”
Tattoosydney
@asiangrrlMN:
By buying Perrier Jouet. Good champagne needs no jazzing.
JenJen
@Yutsano: @asiangrrlMN: If I may chime in (as if you didn’t already know this), one can make any drink requiring orange liqueur blue, just by subbing Blue Curaçao. Hence the Blue Margarita, the Blue Kamikaze, the Miami Ice (aka Blue Long Island Iced Tea), the Blue Tail Fly, what have you.
Blue drinks are great sellers. Make one blue drink, prepare to make 10 more, as guest will immediately say “Hey, what is that blue drink?” and want one.
The Blue Hawai’ian is it’s very own thing, it’s special, and especially delicious, and pretty easy, at least the way I make ’em:
Build on ice packed full into a tall Collins or Specialty glass:
– 1 1/2 oz Light Rum
– 1/2 oz Blue Curaçao
(re-ice to top after liquor melt)
– 3 oz Pineapple Juice
Shake the hell out of it
– Top with splash of soda water
– Garnish with Hawai’ian Flag (Pineapple wedge with cherry on a pick or sword)
There are many variations, but that one’s a simple and timeless winner and anyone can make it. Yummy-nummers.
Tattoosydney
@asiangrrlMN:
I was going to say that being on the SCOTUS requires some knowledge of the American legal system, but decided that was too silly.
asiangrrlMN
@JenJen: That’s right. You mix drinks. Wanna tend bar at my wedding?
@Tattoosydney: And apparently untrue these days.
JenJen
@asiangrrlMN: Hell to the yes!! A Tavern Wench at any wedding would be a good draw. Ummm, this gig pays, though, right? :-)
Spaghetti Lee
@Tattoosydney:
American Legal System, Revised:
1) Give rich folk da monies.
2) Refer to rule #1
This revision copyright Charles Koch 2011. Any violations will be swiftly dealt with, because he knows people, oh yes, bad people. Muahahaha.
MattR
@asiangrrlMN: OK. So I am finally clicking through all the various links in your post. I did not realize that one was to Jackhammer Jesus when I posted my suggestion. BTW – if you want the Republican nomination you probably don’t want to be married by the Catholic Stephen Colbert (though it will get you the media attention you desire)
@JenJen:
Do you like red, white or blue drinks? How about American flag cake?
asiangrrlMN
@JenJen: Oh, yes. My
dupesconstituents will send me mad monies, I’m sure, once they realize that I am the next Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and Michelle Malkin rolled up into one big ball o’ crazy. Ugh. Now I feel dirty.@MattR: Come on! I HAVE to get married on his show! OK, maybe I can get a different…um…dude to marry us. Whatevs.
P.S. Jackhammer Jesus is popular, for sure.
Yutsano
@JenJen: We can even outfit you with a proper Tavern Wench outfit and St Pauli Girl style steins if you so wish. However the true Galtian solution to payment would be for you to work for tips. With proper percentage given to the bride and groom of course.
JenJen
@MattR: How about red, white, AND blue? We’ll serve up some American Flags:
Spoon float 1/3 each, in order, in pony glass to make neat layers:
Grenadine
White Creme de Cacao
Blue Curaçao
Voila!
Or, we could float some Bacardi 151 at the very top and flame ’em. Call ’em a Burning American Flag. No…. wait. Bad. Bad idea. We’ll call ’em Patriot Missiles.
This wedding is gonna be da bomb, regardless. Hell, @asiangrrlMN, I’ll do it for free (but we’ll still need donations for liquor reserves do be sure to task that out to your assistant, stat). ;-)
@Yutsano: I could so rock a St. Pauli Girl outfit. I learned from my formative years as a young lass in Hamburg that St. Pauli Girls were whores. I’m sure you’re not implying anything, but that’s another Galtian angle, right there!
MattR
@Yutsano: I was gonna suggest that she act like a venture capitalist and demand a percentage of all future income generated as a result of the union.
@asiangrrlMN: I would volunteer except that (a) an atheist would freak the Republicans out even more than a Catholic and (b) it is not valid if the ceremony is in NYC. (EDIT: BTW, I think that divine interventions site may be the original source of Jackhammer Jesus. I first saw that site at least 10 years ago and the website name is memorable enough that it stuck with me. no pun intended)
@JenJen: I’m not sure how else you were planning on earning any tips.
J. Michael Neal
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel): With Eddie, I need one hand to hold his back end, one hand to hold his front end, one hand to hold his head, one hand to open his mouth, and one hand to toss the pill in. The biggest issue is his desperation. Most animals won’t hurt themselves struggling when you hold them. Eddie will. He would rather hurt himself than let you put a pill down his throat. I am dead certain that I am strong enough to hold a cat. I am most definitely not capable of holding a cat who is willing to hurt himself when I am not. He’ll win that struggle.
Yutsano
@JenJen: One could cornfuzzle those for French sociallist flags. Or even worse, Dutch heathen flags. Even more terrifying: RUSSIAN flags! Quelle horreur!
And I bet you’d make a lovely wench. Just no sneaking off on break to the storeroom.
Mark S.
Shorter Robert Samuelson:
Keep fucking that chicken, conservatives. You were better off when you were just railing about gay abortions. Now that you’re going after teachers and retirees, you’ll be left with just your 27% base.
MattR
@J. Michael Neal: Ellie reacts like that to the nail clippers. If she even sees them she starts whining and it gets progressively worse and worse as I try to grab a paw and trap her body in such a way that she can’t jerk as I try and cut, but also so that she won’t break her own leg as she kicks it trying to get away. The noise gets so bad that I am pretty sure my neighbors think I am beating her like Secretariat (or they would if they didn’t know what a sweet guy I am)
asiangrrlMN
@JenJen: Yes Yes Yes! Perfect! American Missiles and you in a tavern wench outfit. This is getting better and better.
@MattR: Wait a minute. You’re a minister? Who knew that BJ was a one-stop shop for everything I need for my wedding?
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@Yutsano: How come there’s no where on my 1040 to note that the 16th amendment wasn’t ratified properly?
J. Michael Neal
@JenJen: Why the hell is everyone so determined to dilute their booze with other crap? If you have a good rum, although I prefer dark rum, you don’t need all of these other trappings.
FlipYrWhig
@sfinny:
My wife and I have been giggling about this for like half an hour. We have a cat who, at the vet, does what I call Operation Shutdown, in honor of onetime Pittsburgh Pirate Derek Bell. But Boneless Cat is much funnier.
JenJen
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel): @J. Michael Neal: Really not into pushing products, but these Pill Pockets have always worked very well for my dogs, even for those seemingly horse-sized antibiotics.
@Yutsano: Sigh. You’re making this job sound like work.
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@J. Michael Neal: God damn! A 5 handed pill refuser.
No, a kamikaze 5 handed pill refuser. You are a saint.
MattR
@asiangrrlMN: Yep. Ordained online so I could officiate my sister’s wedding (I have learned not to say “so I could marry my sister”). But I don’t think that counts as being sufficiently religious as far as the GOP is concerned. However, you could hire an actor to perform a religious wedding ceremony and then I could do a private ceremony to make it legal.
@Yutsano: Why can’t I efile my amended return? I screwed up dammit so it is clearly the IRS’s fault that fixing it requires effort.
Yutsano
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel): It’s too meta for you bro. But I do invite you to put that on your form. If you have an extra $5000 you’d like to handover to the government for making a frivolous argument.
JenJen
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel): @J. Michael Neal: I think I’m gonna be stuck in moderation for foolishly posting a really long link, so, I’ll try again by saying that for me, Greenies Pill Pockets have always worked really well for my dogs. I’m not into pushing any kind of product, but my pups have always taken their pills right down if they’re packed in some kind of treat, and those do the trick, even for those seemingly horse-sized antibiotics.
Google ’em! They run about $6 at my local pet food store for a pack of 30 Pill Pockets for dogs, and they make them for cats as well, probably cheaper. I’ve not tried them with my kitteh Joey, but he goes batty for Pounces so I think the Pill Pockets would work for him as well.
@Yutsano: Sigh. You’re making this job sound like work.
Mary G
@J. Michael Neal: My Sophie will not have pills given to her in any way, shape or form. If you do get one down her gullet, a feat I have achieved only once or twice in 20 years, you will find it in a neat little pool of vomit 15 minutes later.
My solution is Gerber baby food. I can’t imagine anyone giving it to a human baby and am convinced it only stays in existence for cat owners. It smells vile.
Put the pill between two spoons and crush it to powder. Stir into baby food, sit back and gloat. At least that’s how it works for me.
ETA: Her favorite flavor is ham, followed by chicken and turkey. Beef is a no-go.
asiangrrlMN
@JenJen: I countermand his order. You can sneak anywhere you like. Live it up, fuck, yeah!
@MattR: So freaking cool. We can pretend you’re religious since everything else is gonna be pretend as well. You’re in!
Attention, Juicers: Try not to piss off Yutsy too much before the wedding. I’m hiring a bunch of you, and he’s footing the bil, ergo….
Yutsano
@MattR:
Heh. Had this exact bitch before. Told him file it by paper or keep owing $10K, choice is his.
@asiangrrlMN: Sigh. I give up.
(No really, I give up. Haz early day tomorrow so gotta crash out early. Night y’all.)
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@Yutsano: I mean, really how can labor be taxed? Unconstitutional!
Wiki:
Well, I’ll be. Looks like you don’t even need that 16th amendment.
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: Yes, you need to rest up, and so does your wallet. Night, Yutsy! Kiss kiss!
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@JenJen: One day I figured out that hot dogs simply cannot be resisted by the wily basenji. But I’ll remember that for next time someone is sick. I’m a vegetarian and don’t really want to buy hot dogs under any circumstances.
MattR
@Yutsano: I should be more on top of this since it means $500 in my pocket. I used the wrong date for when I bought a stock which changes it from short term to long term and therefore less taxes owed.
@asiangrrlMN: Fine by me. But it eliminates NYC (and there may be other areas of the country that refuse to recognize the Universal Life Church, but I never checked since my sister was getting married in New York.) EDIT – There are other parts of New York besides NYC, ya know. It is recognized in the rest of the state.
And I should probably get to bed myself. Too early in the week to start getting this far behind on sleep.
asiangrrlMN
@MattR: Wait, but you said you officiated for your sister! I’m confused. And, it doesn’t have to be real for real, you know.
And, I’m out for the night as well.
Origuy
The only thing close to formal wear I have that fits me is my kilt. It’s mostly blue, so with my red jerkin and a white shirt, I’ll have the color scheme. Is that ok? Sorry I don’t play the bagpipes, but maybe I’ll be able to learn the sword dance in time.
J. Michael Neal
@Mary G: The problem is the taste of benadryl. I get buprenorphine (narcotic), prednisolone (anti-inflammatory steroid that slows down the progress of other forms of lymphoma, but no one knows if it works on what Eddie has), and ursodial (for his hepatitis) into him pretty easily by mixing them with gravy from radily available cat food. They either have no taste, or are mixed with fish or liver flavor. So, he doesn’t realize he’s doing anything other than just licking up gravy.
Benadryl is different. Last week, trying to figure out just what I was up against, I cut open a capsule of benadryl and put a TINY amount in my mouth to see what it tasted like. That stuff was amazingly fucking bitter. My tongue was numb for almost fifteen minutes.
A pill pocket will only do any good if it induces Eddie to swallow it without biting into it. If he does that, it’s game over. There’s no chance he’d try a pill pocket again.
J. Michael Neal
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel): I’m not that much of a saint. If you aren’t trying to get medication into him, Eddie is the sweetest, most gentle, most empathic cat I’ve ever known. He’s dumb as a lamppost, but impossible to dislike. As I said, if you are trying to get medication into him, he doesn’t bite or scratch, except by accident. He just wants to get under a bed where you can’t get at him. Actually hurting you never crosses his mind.
There is only one creature on the earth I have ever heard him hiss at. There is a cat that lives across the street who wanders around outside, including up onto my porch. He looks into a window and starts meowing really loudly. That would get Ringling upset, and I think Eddie only got agitated because he likes Ringling, and so he expresses extreme displeasure with this other cat. Only hissing I’ve ever heard from him.
If anyone’s a saint, it’s Eddie. And this isn’t just me touting my own cats. Whenever Monster finally dies (she’s 17, but apparently in perfect health), I’m the only one that’s going to mourn her. Vets would probably hate her, but she’s never needed to go in for anything but her annual shots. Literally, nothing.
I’m going to miss the big lug when he finally does depart. I took him into the vet on Friday. She agreed that the licking of his own fur is likely due to hay fever. He’s sneezing, and that could be the hay fever and it could be something else. She FINALLY was able to listen to his breathing and said that it’s a lot louder than it should be for a cat. This could mean that his lymphoma has finally spread to his chest, or it could mean that . . . he has hay fever.
I’m worried about how long I’m keeping him alive. I know that I hate itching, probably more than I hate pain. So, if he is as itchy as his licking pattern indicates, and I can’t an anti-hystamine into him, I’m afraid that I’me letting him suffer so I can keep him around. However, he’s eating and still running around.
I don’t know what the fuck to do. All I can do is hope that there is a heaven, and he is capable of understanding me when I try to explain why I did all this nasty stuff to him. That’s assuming I make it to heaven; I’m not worried about him.
Anne Laurie
@MattR: In Massachusetts, anyone at all can pay $25 for the one-day right to officiate at a wedding. We discovered this after noticing that the check-off list on our marriage application did not include the Church of the Goddess, the umbrella Wiccan organization under which our dear friend the Arch Priest is formally recognized. (Neither is ‘Christian Science’, which surprised me, because the CS Mother Church is in downtown Boston.) The government clerk used the construction “If you want someone from an irregular religion… “ to inform me of this loophole, which steamed our officiant no little.
So, somewhere I have an official robo-signed letter from William Weld congratulating me upon my incipient marriage. If y’all come to the Commonwealth, presumably you can get a similar letter from Deval Patrick, although I can’t promise it’ll mention “Church of the FSM” or “Slave to Cthulu” if you chose to get cute.
JenJen
@J. Michael Neal: The pill pocket might be a longshot with Eddie, but it’s worth a try. If you have a good and locally-run, small pet food store, I bet they’d let you sample one and test it out if you’re leery of buying a whole pack. My dogs swallow a pill pocket whole, and my kitteh Joey is a persnickity finicky 18+ year-old, but he’ll swallow a Pounce-treat whole, too. Maybe it’s worth a shot. I so hope you find something, anything, that works. Sweet kitteh.
Best of luck to you and Eddie!
Kathryn
@J. Michael Neal: not every drug can be compounded but you can ask your vet who their compounding pharmacy is. They will put the drug in a cream to rub into the cat’s ears. I was able to get that for my Smudge [whose records say “EVIL” in red sharpie on them at the vet because, well, that’s what happens there.] Drugs are less effective that way, but sometimes it’s the only alternative.
Southern Beale
Dude, You HAVE no balls.
:-)
Couldn’t resist. Well, 3 weeks after Riley was neutered he’s finally stopped humping everything. Thank goodness.
maskling
that is the best doggy pic i have seen on BJ. that is pure doggy goodness…bowwowow yippeyoyay atomic dog
why must i chase the cat?
Kurzleg
@MagicPanda – I agree. That’s a stellar photo.
THE
You’ve all seen this funny single lady with cat video right?
Picture at the top is cuteness to the Max.
walizonia
I am a veterinarian and I can confirm that we definitely do not tell all clients that their pet is the bestest ever. That is reserved for the ones who ARE the bestest. Of course our criterion may not be the same as the general population. While cuteness is on the list, it must also compete with best kennel manners and most cooperative patient as well as quietest pet of the day.
Max gets a 10 for cute but my guess is he got dinged on the others, perhaps even a 0 on the quiet scale. We definitely will have clients pick up early when the annoying factor is higher than the post-op recovery scale.
Paul in KY
@kdaug: Very, very lifelike. They spent alot of money on that.
Mnemosyne
@Kathryn:
I second this motion. The vet had me give a steroid to Boris that way and it seemed to work pretty well.
It may mean you have to put stuff on Eddie’s ears more than once a day, but it might be worth it to avoid the struggle.
TrishB
@J. Michael Neal: They make liquid benadryl for children. You may want to give it a try mixed with food or in an oral syringe placed to the back of his mouth.
peej
@J. Michael Neal: I know the vet can give Benadryl as a shot. My Gonzo is allergic to the 3 year rabies vaccine so he has to get a shot of Benadryl prior to the rabies shot (which takes care of the problem). I don’t know whether or not they’d let you do it yourself. Gonzo also did the ear gel thing for his prednisone (asthma) but that didn’t seem to work for him. He’s done it compounded as tuna flavor, and he’s now on inhaled meds (same stuff as humans).
You Don't Say
If it makes you feel any better, years ago I had a cat sitter who had been a vet tech at my vet and she told me my cat’s folder had a huge warning sign on its front cover and one of the other techs said he was the worst cat they ever had. She couldn’t believe it and neither could I, of course, but I guess he behaved quite differently with some people.
Gus
Poor guy. When we had our dog neutered we went to the vet in the evening and he came tearing out like nothing had changed. If he hadn’t been wearing a cone you wouldn’t have known he’d had a procedure.
asiangrrlMN
@Origuy: Excellent! As long as you don’t wear anything under it. Too bad you can’t play the bagpipes. That would have been mint. And, Sword Dance? Maybe you could do it while my tai chi teacher demonstrates the Sword Form!
Jebediah
@J. Michael Neal:
It’s a very hard situation; I’m sorry you’re in it. The criterion for me is whether or not the animal is still enjoying being around, but that’s the part that’s so hard to figure that out sometimes. It’s easier when they lose interest in food or water or any interaction with you – then it is obvious.
But you will get to explain it to him. If he’s going to heaven, so are you because it wouldn’t be heaven for him without you.