I‘ll stop with the Bobo soon, but this was too gruesome not to pass on:
Tell us your favorite joke.
I don’t tell jokes. In my books I do comic scenes. One of the better ones involves people buying crates of condoms at Costco. In my column I rarely do humor at all, which is a pity.
And that’s one of the better ones.
The punchline is, ‘oh gross!’
When your very career is one laughable mess and troll against all common sense, what need do you have for jokes? The fact that this man is a ‘very serious person’ according to our politics is a laugh of the bitterest and most morbid design.
OT, but this shit makes me sick: NPR CEO Schiller resigns.
I would pay good money to see someone do a “sting” on James O’Keefe and the other thugs who call themselves “journalists.”
He and Richard Cohen should form a comedy team! Those two could bring Vaudeville back to life!
oh my effin GAWD, dude. You said you were DONE with The Captain and Tenille.
It’s not a feature. It’s not a bug. What is it?
Those with amazon accounts (or sign up for a new one) can help by adding descriptive tags to Bobo’s book, or voting up existing ones.
There is some good snark there but the tags need more.
inanely pretentious seems to be on the rise but still lags far behind keeping america stupid.
Anyone else reminded of the humor-impared 2nd Lt from Good Morning Vietnam?
All the bobos need to get laid more often.
Hahaha! Imagine people having sex that much. It’s just so ridiculous. You’d have to sex-a-size, like, three or four times a week to use that many condoms. Who does that? And to do all that sexing without wanting to get your happily married wife pregnant – it is to laugh!
Oh what a crazy mixed up world that would be.
@Zifnab: Thank you. I almost sprayed yogurt all over my laptop.
@christian mistermix: yeah but why would any woman want to? Can we just send him a blow up doll instead?
@Zifnab: In my mind, that comment was read in the voice of one of the Festrunk Brothers
Can someone please bite the bullet and fuck this man so that he’ll stop writing about how nobody will?
I mean it, every column, every week, is basically about how he can’t get laid.
I’m not volunteering for the job, but I’m good for $5 toward the hooker fund.
It’s for America.
Must be the delivery.
@arguingwithsignposts: a boating accident?
Dude, just … don’t. That could be your daughter some day.
@SpotWeld: Borat would work too.
@piratedan: Please, he probably has a full set. Maybe he needs new ones?
Like I pointed out in the other topic when it came up: The whole country solely subsists on hippie punching. That’s the only reason I can think of to why O’Keefe and Breitbart are still somehow fucking lauded as the geniuses of what’s true and right.
The punch line is that the people purchasing the crates of condoms were chunky Bobo and a bunch of his American Taliban buddies, who, dressed as a bunch of pitchfork wielding peasants from a Hieronymous Bosch painting, held a mock trial against the condoms for crimes against huManity and God and burned them at the stake.
He’s a regular Dave Barry. Or Bill Cosby. More of a humorist than a joke teller.
Like Mark Twain, without the ____________ (please fill in the blank).
Maybe you just had to be there.
i’d like to see a box full of scorpions do a sting on him. frankly.
well, no, i wouldn’t. but it was fun to say.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Shorter Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: “When you are nothing more than a joke, why ruin it by trying to write one?”
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo gets laid all of the time. Ok, so he has to sneak into the neighbors barn to get it but he does get laid!
@different church-lady: Yarg, and we though Mouthpiece theater was bad.
Brings to mind one of my favorite Internet Moments, ever. Adam Yoshida, if you’ve never heard of him, is a D-list wingnut blatherer whose most distinguishing feature is that he combines hyper-American-nationalism with being Canadian. Anyway, I was reading the Usenet group sci.military.naval, which had a bunch of crusty former chief petty officers among its regular posters. Along comes Yoshida, posting a screed about how only Total Victory is acceptable in the War On Terror, blah blah blah.
Retired CPO: “Adam, I will *pay* for the hooker to get you laid”.
Amazingly, Yoshida just sort of shriveled up and went away for a while.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Any else ever notice that some of the Nazi zombies in COD walk like the Festrunk Brothers?
Maybe I’ve just spent too much time in front of the TV and playing video games…
heard NPR’s story on this, this AM. somehow they didn’t feel it would be interesting to anyone to learn that O’Keefe is a convicted criminal. or that his ACORN videos were carefully assembled. or that he planned to sexually assault a journalist. nope. good ol NPR didn’t think that would be of interest.
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
Don’t stop with the Bobo, Doug Hill. He’s eleventy times funnier than McMegan or Sully……and if you obsess over him, there’s fewer boring posts about them.
@Zifnab: Great evidence that whenever these idiots talk about the common man they are talking about something they do not know in the least. First, I’ve never seen condoms in Costco or Sam’s Club. Second, if they have them and you can buy them in crates, more likely than not, it is some immigrant entrepreneur who owns a small convenience store buying something on which the entrepreneur can make a huge profit buying in bulk and selling individually – bulk purchases like that are very common at membership warehouses for small businesspersons.
In short, there isn’t much of a joke in that, is there? Clueless, twits.
Oh yeah, in short part 2, anyone ever see David Brooks on his feet? I saw him walking around my old work neighborhood, half a block from Norquist’s shop about 2-1/2 years ago. That SOB is shorter than I am by inches! Perhaps the source of his anxiety and his need to project superiority?
Oh, and yes, I have never been mistaken for tall except by my 1st grader and his friends.
@Dan: ability to grow manly facial hair?
I think this answer sums up Brooks the best (worst?):
Children out of wedlock – bad!
Torture of American citizens – What you talkin’ about, Willis?
I am going to start a campaign to have U of C recall Brooks’ degree.
@Dan: without the Mark Twain or any semblance of anything resembling Mark Twain.
You know what’s really gruesome? His book is up to #4 at Amazon.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Maybe Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo saw the case of condoms being purchased at the salad bar at Applebees?
@LGRooney: The condoms at Costco are kept by the pharmacy window. No crates though.
@LGRooney: “in short part 2”
@Omnes Omnibus: Could someone unmoderate me. please. Thank you.
I admire your fortitude for not punching him in the neck.
@cleek: I cringed through that O’Keefe NPR story this morning too. There was a lot more about the Juan Williams firing than about O’Keefe’s and Brietbart’s actual backgrounds. For balance, I suppose?
The Moar You Know
Did you know that Charlie Sheen regularly does enough cocaine to kill two and a half men?
Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the specials, they’re really good.
@arguingwithsignposts: It wasn’t fortitude but lack of reach. Ever tried to squash an ant on a sidewalk? They always seem to be protected by the bumps and grooves in the concrete.
Theme song for this story: Soft Cell’s “Sex Dwarf.”
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
bobo is to observational humor what olestra is to irritable bowel syndrome.
@SpotWeld: David Brooks sucks the sweat off a dead man’s balls.
In Brooks defense, if a person lacks a sense of humor its best to avoid joke telling. Or “comic” scenarios too, of course, but there’s the rub. The man has yet to be born who is cognizant that he doesn’t possess a sense of humor.
This was the funniest part of the post.
Just to rant by proxy a bit, just what in tarnation is it that people who bemoan the “tolerance for children born out of wedlock”, who — in the Venn diagram with “people who don’t believe schools should teach birth control” and “people who don’t believe abortion should be legal” there is ONE CIRCLE — think the country is supposed to DO? Does the sherriff hunt down the dad for shotgun weddings? Do we shun the children? Put them on an ice floe and push them out to sea? Maybe a Shirley Jackson lottery, only for people who have children out of wedlock. And those children, of course.
Now, getting to the actual substance of the issue, I personally think two adults raising a child together in a happy, stable home is a best case scenario for that kid, regardless of whether or not there is a marriage certificate locked in a fireproof safe in that home, or whether or not the adults are the same sex. I think it’s a far worse thing for kids to have adults who are married when they conceive and have their kids then split up and live in different states and yell at each other over the phone and fight over custody and the furniture and the cat. I don’t think the kid is going to get much advantage out of “well, at least I was born in legal wedlock.” I’m kind of like Dan Savage in that regard. You know, “conservative.”
OOT since it’s not about Bobo, but it is about his employer. This article from NYT about the gang rape of an 11-year-old with these choice quotes from a Ms Sheila Harrison makes me wonder if Ms Harrison has a son or a male relative who is a suspect in the crime:
Other interesting quotes from “residents”:
One of the things we always say about the MSM is how good they are about writing he-said-she-said kind of story – getting quotes from both sides regardless of the validity of each side. The interesting thing about this article is, apart from one sentence saying “Churches have held prayer services for the victim”, the article does not quote a single person expressing any concern for the victim. All the quotes are concern about the alleged criminals and the effect of the crime on the town. So either the reporter is singularly bad at his job,or this is a town populated by monsters.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
It is a town in Texas so the question can remain open, sadly. And of course they are not mutually exclusive. Sigh.
This has nothing to do with Bobo, but must share that Chait has incurred the wrath of Podhoretz, the younger. And then came much mocking.
@mclaren: I’ve got the gold Rolls part, but I can’t visualize him making it with the dumb chauffeur…. oh, wait…. There he goes.
I’ll bet Shecky Bobo would kill in the Catskills. I haven’t heard a good mother-in-law joke since the early 1970s.
@Athenae: It had better be a tranny hooker… I’m pretty sure Bobo is confused about his preference/orientation.
You know how they say that laughter is really good for you because it exercises your midsection? Mine is very trim right now.
Gawd, I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks.
And, from observation, it’s even worse for the kids to have adults who are married, have kids, then decide they hate each other but refuse to get a divorce “for the children”.
It may be ugly to watch divorced couples argue over custody and child support, but damn the guys I felt sorriest for when I was in High School were the ones with parents who clearly hated each others’ guts and resented the very existence of the other person but for whatever reason just wouldn’t get the divorce.
My favorite part:
Chait is even more hardcore than DougJ. He has several feuds running concurrently with several different National Review writers. But that’s a good thing IMO. The more time he spends mocking right wing writers for their stupidity, the less time he has to advocate wars against Middle East countries.
Michael Kinsley’s article on Romney is also worth a read. Nobody does mocking condescension better than Kinsley. If only he sticks to this rather than concern trolling about the deficit and the national debt.
A divorce that works is better than a marriage that doesn’t, no doubt. And I’m not trying to demonize people who are divorced, just that society is going to be better off if we put value on (happy) stability and not on things that don’t matter, like whether a ring is involved or whether the naughty bits match up the right way.
I think the notion of jokes about purchasing items in large quantities at a CostCo or Sam’s Club is quite innovative.
It’s that sort of innovation Americans should be focusing on, rather than moaning about how their traditional jobs are vanishing.
Oooo boy David! They love that one down at the salad bar at Applebee’s!
My Costco carries condoms. They’re shelved between the weight-loss supplements and the diaper-rash creams.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
No, really, Brooks is a funny guy. His grandmother told him so!
What a clear and elegant statement. Srsly. Perfect.