Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

… gradually, and then suddenly.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

We will not go back.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

All hail the time of the bunny!

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70Comments

  3. 3.

    Kryptik

    When your very career is one laughable mess and troll against all common sense, what need do you have for jokes? The fact that this man is a ‘very serious person’ according to our politics is a laugh of the bitterest and most morbid design.

  8. 8.

    MonkeyBoy

    Those with amazon accounts (or sign up for a new one) can help by adding descriptive tags to Bobo’s book, or voting up existing ones.

    There is some good snark there but the tags need more.

    inanely pretentious seems to be on the rise but still lags far behind keeping america stupid.

  11. 11.

    Zifnab

    One of the better ones involves people buying crates of condoms at Costco.

    Hahaha! Imagine people having sex that much. It’s just so ridiculous. You’d have to sex-a-size, like, three or four times a week to use that many condoms. Who does that? And to do all that sexing without wanting to get your happily married wife pregnant – it is to laugh!

    Oh what a crazy mixed up world that would be.

  15. 15.

    Athenae

    Can someone please bite the bullet and fuck this man so that he’ll stop writing about how nobody will?

    I mean it, every column, every week, is basically about how he can’t get laid.

    I’m not volunteering for the job, but I’m good for $5 toward the hooker fund.

    It’s for America.

    A.

  16. 16.

    RSA

    One of the better ones involves people buying crates of condoms at Costco.

    Must be the delivery.

  21. 21.

    Kryptik

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Like I pointed out in the other topic when it came up: The whole country solely subsists on hippie punching. That’s the only reason I can think of to why O’Keefe and Breitbart are still somehow fucking lauded as the geniuses of what’s true and right.

  22. 22.

    flounder

    The punch line is that the people purchasing the crates of condoms were chunky Bobo and a bunch of his American Taliban buddies, who, dressed as a bunch of pitchfork wielding peasants from a Hieronymous Bosch painting, held a mock trial against the condoms for crimes against huManity and God and burned them at the stake.

  27. 27.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Shorter Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: “When you are nothing more than a joke, why ruin it by trying to write one?”

    Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo gets laid all of the time. Ok, so he has to sneak into the neighbors barn to get it but he does get laid!

  29. 29.

    dmsilev

    @Athenae:

    I’m not volunteering for the job, but I’m good for $5 toward the hooker fund.

    Brings to mind one of my favorite Internet Moments, ever. Adam Yoshida, if you’ve never heard of him, is a D-list wingnut blatherer whose most distinguishing feature is that he combines hyper-American-nationalism with being Canadian. Anyway, I was reading the Usenet group sci.military.naval, which had a bunch of crusty former chief petty officers among its regular posters. Along comes Yoshida, posting a screed about how only Total Victory is acceptable in the War On Terror, blah blah blah.

    Retired CPO: “Adam, I will *pay* for the hooker to get you laid”.

    Amazingly, Yoshida just sort of shriveled up and went away for a while.

    dms

  32. 32.

    khead

    @SpotWeld:

    Any else ever notice that some of the Nazi zombies in COD walk like the Festrunk Brothers?

    Maybe I’ve just spent too much time in front of the TV and playing video games…

  33. 33.

    cleek

    @Kryptik:
    heard NPR’s story on this, this AM. somehow they didn’t feel it would be interesting to anyone to learn that O’Keefe is a convicted criminal. or that his ACORN videos were carefully assembled. or that he planned to sexually assault a journalist. nope. good ol NPR didn’t think that would be of interest.

  34. 34.

    eemom

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    Shorter Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: “When you are nothing more than a joke, why ruin it by trying to write one?”

    Yeah. That.

    Don’t stop with the Bobo, Doug Hill. He’s eleventy times funnier than McMegan or Sully……and if you obsess over him, there’s fewer boring posts about them.

  35. 35.

    LGRooney

    @Zifnab: Great evidence that whenever these idiots talk about the common man they are talking about something they do not know in the least. First, I’ve never seen condoms in Costco or Sam’s Club. Second, if they have them and you can buy them in crates, more likely than not, it is some immigrant entrepreneur who owns a small convenience store buying something on which the entrepreneur can make a huge profit buying in bulk and selling individually – bulk purchases like that are very common at membership warehouses for small businesspersons.

    In short, there isn’t much of a joke in that, is there? Clueless, twits.

    Oh yeah, in short part 2, anyone ever see David Brooks on his feet? I saw him walking around my old work neighborhood, half a block from Norquist’s shop about 2-1/2 years ago. That SOB is shorter than I am by inches! Perhaps the source of his anxiety and his need to project superiority?

  36. 36.

    LGRooney

    Oh, and yes, I have never been mistaken for tall except by my 1st grader and his friends.

  38. 38.

    John PM

    I think this answer sums up Brooks the best (worst?):

    What’s a common and accepted practice for Americans nowadays that you think we’ll look back on with regret?

    Our indebtedness, obviously. Our tolerance for having children out of wedlock.

    Children out of wedlock – bad!

    Torture of American citizens – What you talkin’ about, Willis?

    I am going to start a campaign to have U of C recall Brooks’ degree.

  45. 45.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @LGRooney:

    Oh yeah, in short part 2, anyone ever see David Brooks on his feet? I saw him walking around my old work neighborhood, half a block from Norquist’s shop about 2-1/2 years ago. That SOB is shorter than I am by inches! Perhaps the source of his anxiety and his need to project superiority?

    I admire your fortitude for not punching him in the neck.

  46. 46.

    Marmot

    @cleek: I cringed through that O’Keefe NPR story this morning too. There was a lot more about the Juan Williams firing than about O’Keefe’s and Brietbart’s actual backgrounds. For balance, I suppose?

  47. 47.

    The Moar You Know

    Did you know that Charlie Sheen regularly does enough cocaine to kill two and a half men?

    Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the specials, they’re really good.

  52. 52.

    JWL

    In Brooks defense, if a person lacks a sense of humor its best to avoid joke telling. Or “comic” scenarios too, of course, but there’s the rub. The man has yet to be born who is cognizant that he doesn’t possess a sense of humor.

  55. 55.

    jibeaux

    @John PM:

    Just to rant by proxy a bit, just what in tarnation is it that people who bemoan the “tolerance for children born out of wedlock”, who — in the Venn diagram with “people who don’t believe schools should teach birth control” and “people who don’t believe abortion should be legal” there is ONE CIRCLE — think the country is supposed to DO? Does the sherriff hunt down the dad for shotgun weddings? Do we shun the children? Put them on an ice floe and push them out to sea? Maybe a Shirley Jackson lottery, only for people who have children out of wedlock. And those children, of course.

    Now, getting to the actual substance of the issue, I personally think two adults raising a child together in a happy, stable home is a best case scenario for that kid, regardless of whether or not there is a marriage certificate locked in a fireproof safe in that home, or whether or not the adults are the same sex. I think it’s a far worse thing for kids to have adults who are married when they conceive and have their kids then split up and live in different states and yell at each other over the phone and fight over custody and the furniture and the cat. I don’t think the kid is going to get much advantage out of “well, at least I was born in legal wedlock.” I’m kind of like Dan Savage in that regard. You know, “conservative.”

  56. 56.

    Ija

    OOT since it’s not about Bobo, but it is about his employer. This article from NYT about the gang rape of an 11-year-old with these choice quotes from a Ms Sheila Harrison makes me wonder if Ms Harrison has a son or a male relative who is a suspect in the crime:

    “It’s just destroyed our community,” said Sheila Harrison, 48, a hospital worker who says she knows several of the defendants. “These boys have to live with this the rest of their lives.”

    “Where was her mother? What was her mother thinking?” said Ms. Harrison, one of a handful of neighbors who would speak on the record. “How can you have an 11-year-old child missing down in the Quarters?”

    Other interesting quotes from “residents”:

    Residents in the neighborhood where the abandoned trailer stands — known as the Quarters — said the victim had been visiting various friends there for months. They said she dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s. She would hang out with teenage boys at a playground, some said.

    Ms. Gatlin said the girl had been transferred to another district. “It’s devastating, and it’s really tearing our community apart,” she said. “I really wish that this could end in a better light.”

    One of the things we always say about the MSM is how good they are about writing he-said-she-said kind of story – getting quotes from both sides regardless of the validity of each side. The interesting thing about this article is, apart from one sentence saying “Churches have held prayer services for the victim”, the article does not quote a single person expressing any concern for the victim. All the quotes are concern about the alleged criminals and the effect of the crime on the town. So either the reporter is singularly bad at his job,or this is a town populated by monsters.

  57. 57.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Ija:

    All the quotes are concern about the alleged criminals and the effect of the crime on the town. So either the reporter is singularly bad at his job,or this is a town populated by monsters.

    It is a town in Texas so the question can remain open, sadly. And of course they are not mutually exclusive. Sigh.

  59. 59.

    Pangloss

    @mclaren: I’ve got the gold Rolls part, but I can’t visualize him making it with the dumb chauffeur…. oh, wait…. There he goes.

  60. 60.

    Pangloss

    I’ll bet Shecky Bobo would kill in the Catskills. I haven’t heard a good mother-in-law joke since the early 1970s.

  62. 62.

    Svensker

    You know how they say that laughter is really good for you because it exercises your midsection? Mine is very trim right now.

    Gawd, I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks.

  63. 63.

    NonyNony

    @jibeaux:

    I think it’s a far worse thing for kids to have adults who are married when they conceive and have their kids then split up and live in different states and yell at each other over the phone and fight over custody and the furniture and the cat.

    And, from observation, it’s even worse for the kids to have adults who are married, have kids, then decide they hate each other but refuse to get a divorce “for the children”.

    It may be ugly to watch divorced couples argue over custody and child support, but damn the guys I felt sorriest for when I was in High School were the ones with parents who clearly hated each others’ guts and resented the very existence of the other person but for whatever reason just wouldn’t get the divorce.

  64. 64.

    Ija

    @trollhattan:

    My favorite part:

    So, for instance, the statement “John Podhoretz rules Commentary with the ruthless style of Kim Jong-il,” would be completely unfair. Kim Jong-il is responsible for the death and brutality of millions, whereas Podhoretz has only brutalized the English language. On the other hand, the statement, “John Podhoretz is to Norman Podhoretz and Kim Jong-il is to Kim il-Sung” would imply that John Podhoretz, like Kim Jong-il, acquired his job in nepotistic fashion and has performed miserably, without drawing any moral parallel between him and the North Korean dictator.

    Chait is even more hardcore than DougJ. He has several feuds running concurrently with several different National Review writers. But that’s a good thing IMO. The more time he spends mocking right wing writers for their stupidity, the less time he has to advocate wars against Middle East countries.

    Michael Kinsley’s article on Romney is also worth a read. Nobody does mocking condescension better than Kinsley. If only he sticks to this rather than concern trolling about the deficit and the national debt.

  65. 65.

    jibeaux

    @NonyNony:

    A divorce that works is better than a marriage that doesn’t, no doubt. And I’m not trying to demonize people who are divorced, just that society is going to be better off if we put value on (happy) stability and not on things that don’t matter, like whether a ring is involved or whether the naughty bits match up the right way.

  66. 66.

    El Cid

    I think the notion of jokes about purchasing items in large quantities at a CostCo or Sam’s Club is quite innovative.

    It’s that sort of innovation Americans should be focusing on, rather than moaning about how their traditional jobs are vanishing.

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