Barbies havin’ Barbies
Surprise! Texas is joining the ranks of states that want to get all up inside your uterus’s business! Yep! More abortion bills, y’all!
One bill proposed by Rep. Tan Parker (Asshole- Flower Mound) prohibits abortions unless a doctor provides a “this lady might die so get this thing out of her” note.
Rep. George Lavender (Asshole-Texarkana) proposed a bill permitting abortions in cases of medical necessity, rape or incest. (The abused women of Texas thank you, Light Purple Dude!)
And Rep. Jim Landtroop (Asshole-Plainview) proposed a bill that would make it a crime to coerce some chick you knocked up from having or seeking an abortion. Coercion of abortion! At least it has a nice ring to it. The cognitively dissonant bit about the coercion of abortion bill is that it requires doctors to refer “coerced” women to a domestic violence shelter or assistance program that does not provide abortions or make abortion referrals. Um… helloooo? Who the hell is going to be paying for these assistance programs, exactly? Certainly not the party of No Taxes to Pay for Shit.
There are a couple more abortion bills that were proposed: — you know, the run-of-the-mill stuff: constitutional protection for all your eggs, no abortions on Thursdays, the institution of “Embryoz Rool Hour” (during which one is required to reflect and pour some Olde E on the curb for all our dead baby homies). Oh, and I think someone may have proposed a bill stating that you can only get an abortion if you and your entire extended family can spell “abortion” (**spoiler alert!** it’s not “aborshun”) because MOAR TEABILLY BABIEZ is what the people want:
House Bill 2988 by state Rep. Tan Parker (R-Flower Mound) would prohibit abortions from being performed unless a physician determines there is a substantial risk to the woman’s life or a major body function. Parker’s bill comes on the heels of a bill by state Rep. George Lavender (R-Texarkana) banning abortions except in cases of medical necessity, rape or incest. Lavender’s bill sparked immediate criticism from the American Civil Liberties Union of Texas, as the Texas Independent previously reported.
Meanwhile, state Rep. Jim Landtroop (R-Plainview) filed House Joint Resolution 132, which proposes a state constitutional protection of human embryos’ right to life. According to the resolution, protections “regarding the right to life apply from the point of fertilization, when genetic information is gathered inside a cell, until death. The protections of this article regarding the life of an unborn child apply to the unborn child of any woman physically present in this state.”
HB 3112 by state Rep. Jodie Laubenberg (R-Parker) would prohibit ‘health benefit exchanges’ set up by federal healthcare reform from offering health insurance plans that cover abortions. Laubenberg’s bill has exceptions for medical necessity, rape and incest.
State Rep. Bill Callegari (R-Katy) filed HB 2828, which would create a new offense for a person who uses “coercion to induce a pregnant woman to have or seek an abortion.” The offense of “coercion of abortion” would be a Class B Misdemeanor, punishable by a max $2,000 fine and/or six months in jail.
::yawn::
Just another day in the life of the Grand Ol’ Party of Forced Birth and Rampant Assholery.
[cross-posted here at Angry Black Lady Chronicles]
piratedan
and where is the money for the enforcement of all this shite? Nowhere to be found but you can rest assured the the forced-birth vigilantes will be ever watchful as citizen deputies to ensure that no fetus will meet an untimely end. You know, if these people were half as concerned about the people/babies that are already here as they are about who’s been porking whom, this country might very well be a better place. What’s next, a medical board to review all physician diagnosis that indicate when an abortion is warranted?
asiangrrlMN
You know, I can’t even get outraged any more because I’m pretty maxed out on being pissed off at old white Goopers being in my uterus. WHERE ARE THE DAMASCUS FIG JOBS, ASHHATS?
Angry Black Lady
i hate wordpress over here. i just hate it.
also, too, ashhats, ftw.
asiangrrlMN
@Angry Black Lady: Thanky. I’m rather proud of that one myself. And, yes, FYWP (doesn’t count if I use the abbreviation).
piratedan
well we need to quit underestimating the vileness and crassness of our opponents. They don’t want you to screw anyone for the pure pleasure of it, especially so if you’re poor because while they’re trying to tie you down with babies they’re also taking away your right to contraception. They’re taking away your ability to vote, and to organize and making it a damn sight more difficult to even get an education. Used to be the land of opportunity, unfortunately our Big R friends have corrupted that into the Land of Opportunists.
Little Boots
Wyoming voted down a crazy ass abortion bill. Wyoming. Come on, Texas, Wyoming for god’s sake.
Shadow's Mom
@piratedan: They can try to make it harder to vote. It’s up to us to do everything we can to get people registered and out to vote. It’s going to be a long 20 months, but I think (hope) that we can turn this around.
We still outnumber them; we have to get voters motivated.
piratedan
@Shadow’s Mom: I sure hope so, it’s been a very ugly five months since the last election. I’ve seen my Congresswoman shot, a bunch of heinous laws proposed and passed. A National political party turn its back on the American people all for the sake of partisan politics and racial bigotry and a sneaky underground movement of Conservatives do their very best to roll back labor laws to the time of the freaking robber barons. I’m outraged, disgusted, pissed off and despondent and I’m a middle class white guy and I don’t understand where in the hell so many people suddenly have become so freaking disassociated from reality in rejecting science and what I thought were American and Christian ideals of opportunity, tolerance of religious beliefs and one person, one vote. When did we become such a mean, spiteful, corporate theocracy? I used to think that this was just R payback for the embarrassment of Nixon but nowadays it seems like the fundies have their fingers in every lunatic position and paranoid fantasy that is being floated as policy.
Little Boots
okay, it’s not for me to run the site, but what is with the soccer thing?
freelancer
Sheesh, this from the girl ‘plainin from what too many posts in too little time. And look at that! OMFG Soccer post right above us?! Is it World Cup Time or the Olympics already?
BTW, If anyone has gone the last twenty years without seeing the PBS documentary series about the Civil Rights Movement “Eyes on the Prize”, you owe it to yourself to rectify that. Here is the Amazon link, but you can find it on BTJunkie if you ARRRRRRRRRRR feeling a bit like a pirate.
There are so many parallels, so many connections to today’s politics that, to this day, you want to reach across the aisle, grab the teabaggers by their lipton sacks, clutch your relatives by the lapels, etc. and say “Seriously, mark my works when I ask you this question, ‘How does it feel to be championing the side of history that is dead-fucking-wrong?!‘. How does that feel? Really. Cause it’s you, you’re the Rocketman. You’re wrong, right now. And you will be judged as such.”
Little Boots
@freelancer:
you’d think that would work, but no. people LOVE being stupid. they really do.
TenguPhule
When the first pregnant against her will woman blows out the very small brains of the loudest stupid GOP forced birther with a Texas pistol, only then will they be taken seriously.
Until then, its wombs with a view.
piratedan
@Little Boots: they wear it as if its a badge of honor, “I may be stupid, but I have faith!” and I wanna reply and that faith plus a buck will get you a coffee at MacDonalds…..It’s as if they decided that its okay to no longer execise their minds, so they’ll just sit on their ass and wait for the lord to provide.
Little Boots
@piratedan:
they do, and it is really starting to piss me off. but what can you do? I want to be an Angry Black Lady (doesn’t every gay boy?) but I don’t know what to do.
freelancer
@TenguPhule:
It’d be nice to see the Red State head ‘splody quality of the first court case when the simple minded anti-choicers picket against the concealed carry (REALLY CONCEALED if you know what I mean) NRA “I have a tiny dick and everyone in the world knows how I compensate for it; weep for my wife” Brigade.
freelancer
@Little Boots:
I wanna be Malcolm X. I’m white. I’m secular. But I’m a radical born in Omaha, we all gotta start somewheres.
Little Boots
@freelancer:
see, we all have out dreams. and that’s the important thing.
freelancer
@Little Boots:
Uhh. No. I dream about Julie Benz, Yvonne Strahovski, and a nurse who shall go unnamed right now. I wake up most days, and I am not Brother Malcolm, nor am I draped with those two fine blonde actresses. So yes, dreams are nice, but they are not the most important thing. Most days.
Little Boots
@freelancer:
see, I never said “the most important thing.” but tell me more about these dreams, but first lay down on this couch here … now, tell me of these dreams, and we shall diagnose.
Little Boots
and now that I’ve actually read a few comments, piratedan, that sucks, and you should not put up with that. make government stop sucking seems to be the mantra these days.
Chuck Butcher
Heh, I used to dream of the day when I’d be a nice middle of the road sort … wound up considered farther left than when I started. I’d like to thank all who’ve made this possible
or something
more amusing
Pat
The country is going to hell in a hand basket while America’s leadership can’t take their mind’s off a woman’s vagina for five seconds. What the fuck is wrong with American men anyway!
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@freelancer:
yeah that would work, except for the confederacy nuts, i don’t think being wrong on a historical level would bother them.
god bless texas
but i say fuck em.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Pat:
Vagina, vagina, vagina, what? Vagina vagina, sweet sweet vagina.
Just Some Fuckhead
Sweet Sweet!
Just Some Fuckhead
Vagina.
sweaver
Vagina outrage.
Best. Tag. Ever.
Iowa Housewife
Here in Iowa, a republican politician was worried about the medical necessity exception because it would leave it to a doctor to decide. Sheesh.
Bex
@piratedan: Pretty close. In Alabama there’s a bill proposing investigations of all miscarriages.
Catzmaw
Dayum! That Barbie’s in back labor. The baby should be turned around with the kid’s happy smiling face looking at Barbie’s spine. Oh wait, that would probably mess up the narrative though.
asiangrrlMN
@Just Some Fuckhead: Snort. You made me laugh, you scamp, you.
bokononanas
Let’s take a closer look at how the Republican lawmakers in Texas are showing just how much they care about the state’s children:
On Medicaid funding:
The proposed budget for DSHS would cut funding for children with special health care needs, family planning, disease prevention, and uncompensated trauma. Gov. Rick Perry wishes to get rid of the state’s Medicaid system altogether.
On Planned Parenthood:
“They can expect less or even zero funding for their organization this session,” says state Rep. Sid Miller, R-Stephenville.
Remember, every dollar spent on family planning saves the US 4 dollars down the road in health care costs. Abortion makes up only three percent
of Planned Parenthood’s total costs, and those federal funds are already banned from being used specifically for abortions.
On Schools:
Lawmakers told school districts to anticipate approximately $5 billion less in the FY2012-13 budget as lawmakers begin wrestling with a large revenue shortfall.
On Food Assistance for Needy Families:
Applicants endured long waits for interviews through 2009, while Texas worked through a backlog in the SNAP program amid errors for underpayment and overpayment. Texas was fined by the federal government nearly $4 million in 2010 for failure to meet the standards required for federal funding. Needy families in Texas rely on food banks for the months that they have to wait to qualify.
Meanwhile…
The unemployment rate in Texas is 8.3% as of January 2011, meaning tens of thousands of residents are still unable to find work one and a half years after the recession “officially” ended.
According to the Children’s Defense Fund:
Almost 25% of children in Texas are living in poverty.
Nineteen percent of children in Texas are uninsured.
Of the 6.8 million children living in Texas, roughly 2.8 million are enrolled in Medicaid.
Texas has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the country.
It ranks 43rd in the country when it comes to per pupil expenditures, one of the worst rates in America.
Ronc99
AngryBlackLady,
My favorite 2011 bumpersticker: “May the fetus you save be gay!”
Ronc99
AngryBlackLady,
I almost forgot to ask: Why the picture of Rick Santorum’s wifey poo on the front page OR was that Mooseburger Helper in her younger days? LOLOLOLOL!
AnotherBruce
@Chuck Butcher: I doubt it, I think the country moved farther right. Nobody in America these days are reading the Communist Manifesto, but maybe they should, just to brush up.
Grumpy Code Monkey
@bokononanas:
And we have a $24 billion dollar hole to fill in this year’s budget (state constitution prohibits running a deficit), and the Lege doesn’t want to touch the Rainy Day Fund (not that the RDF would come anywhere near to plugging that hole, but it would help shrink it significantly).
I don’t find Callegari’s bill completely objectionable (at least as described here); if a woman is being coerced to have an abortion against her will by a husband or boyfriend or parent, then that’s something that needs to be addressed. The devil is in how they’re defining “coercion”.
I know I keep banging this drum, but…
Perry has ambitions for 2012, and he knows how to fight dirty. You have been warned.
Brutusettu
Having an earlier term abortion is statistically safer to the woman involved than trying to carry the pregnancy to full term.
So, what’s the criteria of “substantial?”