Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“woke” is the new caravan.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

I was promised a recession.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Bark louder, little dog.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

… among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet!

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Come on, man.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

A consequence of cucumbers

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

“Cheese and Kraken paired together for the appetizer trial.”

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

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Open Thread

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I’m taking the night off. I was walking down the stairs to the basement and slipped on something and didn’t fall, but in the process of catching myself I think I pulled every muscle on the left side of my back from the rib cage down. It feels like Mike Tyson kidney punched me with brass knuckles. Awesome. The good news is it only hurts when I sit, stand, or lie down.

Reader Interactions

97Comments

  2. 2.

    auntieeminaz

    Maybe if you had been posting the pet pictures like requested you could have avoided this.

  3. 3.

    Jeremy H

    John, you keep hurting yourself. Can I suggest that, when you’re recovered from this latest incident, you seriously consider starting a focused program of weight training? Get your muscles into shape and you’ll probably find yourself less prone to such injuries.

    A good place to start would be “Starting Strength” by Mark Rippetoe and Lon Kilgore.

  5. 5.

    HumboldtBlue

    Sweet Jesus walking with a broken leg and tap-dancing on the skulls of dead kittens, but you are a walking fucking nightmare. Just don’t get up anymore. Stay immobile, don’t get out of your goddamn barco-lounger.

  7. 7.

    Culture of Truth

    Reactor 2 “is not necessarily in a stable condition” Chief
    Cabinet Secretary Yukio Edano said at an early morning press conference.

    Oh boy.

  8. 8.

    cynickal

    You need to install that stair climbing chair from Gremlins.
    Or just duct tape yourself to the Lay Z Boy

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    I swear they made the Bruce Willis movie “Surrogates” with people like Cole in mind.

  13. 13.

    srv

    WTF do you have a basement and go there? And a sidewalk w/o heating? And a roof that doesn’t self clean?

    You need one of those fall alert thingys – but they probably don’t even work in the basement. Find you in a couple of days after Tunch had had his full.

    Am I crazy for leaving my cell phone within reach when I take showers?

  16. 16.

    jl

    Sorry to hear about the accident. I hope Cole feels better soon.

    @Culture of Truth:

    “is not necessarily in a stable condition”

    I hope that does not mean what it seems to mean. After double translation out of the international language of political bureaucratese and an indirect and polite language like Japanese, that would mean things are going totally fubar.

    @HumboldtBlue:

    “don’t get out of your goddamn barco-lounger.”

    No, that won’t work. Last time Cole hurt himself, he did it sitting in his lounger, somehow or other.

    Edit: Cole’s sister is in good shape and looks quite coordinated. Could Cole follow her around during her training routines and get in shape/more coordinated? (I think being in shape and having more coordination/control are not unrelated).

  20. 20.

    singfoom

    John,

    I hope you feel better. At the same time, I have visions of Ivan Drago in my head.

    “If he dies, he dies…”

  22. 22.

    MonkeyBoy

    “is it only hurts when I sit, stand, or lie down.”

    I expect to see new posts on the construction of a hot-tub / flotation-relaxation-tank constructed WV style out of FSM knows what.

    As been said: “Looks like those boys got liquored up and then decided to use their power tools to build something.”

  23. 23.

    jl

    How about a safety harness and rigging safety lines around the house? Like electrical line and construction workers.

    I would, especially if I knew Tunch would move in and feast after I gasped my last breath at the bottom of the stairwell.

    Can you imagine, lying their with Lily trying to dial 911, and watching Tunch sitting a few feet away, starting, starting, staring, preparing to get revenge for the endless torture of that endless (totally ineffective) healthful slimming diet Cole has him on?

  24. 24.

    Mark S.

    Thought of the day: George Will on Sarah Palin’s lack of ideas:

    For conservatism, because it is a creedal movement, this is a disease to which it is susceptible.

    I certainly agree it’s a creedal: We believe in Ronald Reagan, the Father Almighty, and in Free Market Baby Jesus, His Son, who was crucified under Pontius Kenyatta, etc.

  26. 26.

    soonergrunt

    @Corner Stone: Have you seen tankers? the Abrams main gun isn’t exactly a weapon system for the subtle and the Paladin SP gun has been called many things, but ‘graceful’ ain’t one of them.

  27. 27.

    Joshua Norton

    Probably time to try a voice recognition software if you’re out of commission. Although the idea of it is infinitely more appealing than it’s actual performance.

    I had to use Nuance Dragon once when my arm was in a sling and it produced some of the funniest typos I’ve ever read. I was putting together an Attorney Manual for a program called ‘Summation’ and the Dragon software kept interpreting it as “Some Asian”. I spent more time proofreading than if I manually typed the whole thing from scratch.

  28. 28.

    Turgidson

    Suspending yourself in mid-air is neither sitting, standing, nor lying down. So do that. Drink some whiskey too, maybe.

    This consultation was free of charge.

  30. 30.

    jl

    @Mark S.:

    “For conservatism reactionary fanaticism, because it is a creedal movement, this is a disease to which it is susceptible condemned.”

  31. 31.

    Shadow's Mom

    @AhabTRuler: And if he does Bikram Yoga it’ll be lotsa hot, lonely women in skimpy clothes. Hmm, he’d probably need to be in skimpy clothes too though as at 107 degrees, it gets a bit warm in there.

    T’ai chi is recommended for seniors seeking to improve balance and increase muscle strength in order to protect against bone loss and reduce the risk of falls. Not a bad idea.

    Hoping that you feel better soon.

  32. 32.

    Jeremy H

    @John Cole

    “I don’t need weight training, I need ballet. I’m one graceless piece of work.”

    Then look into MovNat with Erwan Le Corre. He’ll whip your graceless ass into shape. :-)

    Seriously, it’s fascinating stuff. Check it out.

  33. 33.

    MikeJ

    @jl: One hand for yourself, one for the ship. Never go on deck without being clipped in.

    If you fall overboard that house will just keep on sailing away.

  35. 35.

    lamh32

    dude you have got to be the most accident-prone person I have never met!

    How the hell have you made it to the ripe ole age of (how old are you again>???)?

    Either you have an angel on ur back, or some good karma, or heck the “luck of the Irish” (are you Irish-descent?)?

  36. 36.

    Napoleon

    jl said: “I hope that does not mean what it seems to mean. After double translation out of the international language of political bureaucratese and an indirect and polite language like Japanese, that would mean things are going totally fubar.”

    It reminds me of the speech the Japanese Emperor gave at the end of WWII to announce they had lost. He said something like: “The war has not necessarily progressed to our advantage.

  38. 38.

    stuckinred

    @MikeJ: I wonder if they “clipped in” on old converted fourstackers in WWII? I can’t recall my dad ever mentioning it.

  39. 39.

    Corner Stone

    @soonergrunt: I was really referring to his previous statements where he said he had fallen off a tank or three.
    Dude just shouldn’t be put in certain situations. In fact, I think he should live his life on a Lacrosse field. At least there you expect to get the shit knocked outta ya.

  40. 40.

    lamh32

    BTW,

    I saw “Adjustment Bureau” last night. It was pretty good IMHO. I’ve never been that big on Matt Damon..I mean I’ve always liked him more than Afleck, but he was positively charming in this movie. I’ve got a crush, I’ll admit. He is now officially on my “hall pass” list. If ya’ll get a chance, check it out!

  44. 44.

    sb

    Hey folks. Long-time reader, part-time poster.

    I’m a teacher in South Central Los Angeles and my students want to help out the people in Japan by sending food, blankets, clothes, etc. Over Christmas, these kids pulled together 250 pounds of canned food in a week’s time. This time around, they want to do more. I told them “great” before I realized I didn’t know where to take large donations of material items.

    They want to give bottled water, clothes, toys for kids, etc. Anything but money which most of them don’t have a lot of.

    Simple question that I couldn’t get an answer to today at school–where do I donate this stuff where I can make sure those in need get it?

    Any and all feedback appreciated in advance. I love the site, love the boards here so that’s why I’m asking. Much obliged and back to our regularly scheduled program.

  45. 45.

    Corner Stone

    @Napoleon:

    It reminds me of the speech the Japanese Emperor gave at the end of WWII to announce they had lost. He said something like: “The war has not necessarily progressed to our advantage.

    A favorite of Billmon’s, always used as stunningly useful juxtaposition.

  46. 46.

    sb

    An addendum–we’re talking about forty kids here who normally struggle with academics and behavior but tend to get serious when others need help. Again, thanks.

  47. 47.

    schrodinger's cat

    Where was Tunch at the time of the “accident”? Is he on a diet? Just some questions I have.

  48. 48.

    Josie

    @John Cole: I’m not sure it has to do with grace. I was injuring myself, not as severely as you do, but with great regularity. My youngest son accused me of thinking too much about too many things (financial problems and such) and not paying attention to my physical movements. When I slowed down and started being really in the moment with total attention to where I was going and how I was moving, the injuries stopped. Try some concentration on the movement and/or job at hand. It surely helped me.

  50. 50.

    MikeJ

    @stuckinred: My dad didn’t clip in to the carriers he was on in the 60s either.

    I’d still rather be on a sailboat than either of those.

  53. 53.

    John - A Motley Moose

    Sounds eerily familiar, except I slipped on black ice as I was going down the porch steps. Both feet shot out from under me. Thankfully, my 60 year-old reflexes were still good enough to let me grab the railing just before the small of my back hit the steps. My shoulder was sore for a day or two, but that was it. Says something about the shape you are in Cole if an old man comes out of a worse fall in better shape than you. Sounds like you need to spend more time chasing Rosie.

  54. 54.

    scav

    @Corner Stone:

    I shutter at the thought.

    I first imagined this as a hard-to-dust vertical closing and clattering up movement but I guess it could work like a camera lens too. Inquiring minds want to know which?

  55. 55.

    WaterGirl

    @Josie: That’s the advice I got, too, when I was in a phase where I kept doing stuff like that. Be present. It really helped me, so I want to second your suggestion.

  56. 56.

    gelfling545

    @Alex S.: I strongly recommend Tai Chi. I started it 2 years ago (and I am old) It seriously helps with aches & pains without making you feel like you were hit by a truck in the process and it doesn’t cost a fortune. It gently helps get the muscles to move as they should. I noticed a difference after 2 weeks. Balance improved too. There are Taoist Tai Chi Society branches most places.

  57. 57.

    stuckinred

    @MikeJ: The focus of my reading about the Navy in WWII had been limited to the Pacific since that was where my old man served. I picked up a book called “The Measureless Peril, the Battle for the Atlantic”. I went back and reviewed an interview I did with one of my dad’s shipmates after he died and realized what he meant when he said “thank god we went to the Pacific”. None of it sounded all that swell.

  59. 59.

    Shadow's Mom

    @AhabTRuler: My sister’s got a autoimmune condition that affect her sympathetic nervous system, Bikram’s been useful for her. With a caveat to recommendation, you are correct, some practitioners are fruit loops who turn it into a cardio-challenge rather than a meditative practice in which the heat helps to loosen muscles and allows greater flexibility.

    @stuckinred: Heh! Spoiled out here in California where all the senior centers offer it as a matter of course. Apparently, though, the Lewis County Senior Center does have T’ai Chi. Not to say John is eligible to participate yet. Also, too, there is a listing here of WV exercise programs that include T’ai Chi.

  60. 60.

    Jeremy H

    @Steeplejack:

    Thanks for catching the incorrect link, unfortunately it’s too late for me to edit my original comment to fix it.

    As for programs that use dumbbells or body weight? Good question. I’m just a few weeks into the Starting Strength program myself, so I’m no expert.

    But Mark Sisson’s Primal Blueprint Fitness program (free e-book) looks like a solid approach to me. Bodyweight only. Straightforward and approachable. And no special equipment needs.

  61. 61.

    BGK

    Sitting on my lanai on a 75 degree evening, a good hour to go before sunset, with a big mug of the ol’ chai and five deflated Black and White Cats laying around at my feet. Almost enough to make me forget Rick Scott is out there…somewhere.

  64. 64.

    Cermet

    Sorry for the pain and suffering – just never, ever take Tylenol – that worthless drug always damages the liver to some extent and in very small over doses, can do real noticeable damage; combined with a single strong drink and the liver is bye-bye; experts believe a few thousand people loose their liver every year due to this mistake – talk about a drug that should never have been over-the-counter. And to give that poison to children is not right – of course, most people are not aware of the dangers. Interesting how all the children’s med has been recalled not once but twice for reasons I can’t find out why. I’d dissolve aspirin or use the other common pain relievers but never that stuff.

  65. 65.

    Steeplejack

    @sb:

    Sorry, but what I have read indicates that anything but money is not what you want to give in this situation. The logistics of getting the stuff over to Japan are daunting, not to mention time-consuming, and the stuff you send may not be appropriate anyway.

    To quote from the Good Intentions Web site:

    Don’t take up a collection of goods to send over.
    After the [2004] tsunami tons of used clothing were donated, much of it inappropriate to the climate and culture. There were winter hats, coats and gloves donated to southern Thailand and mountains of donated clothing dumped beside the road in India. Donated goods can clog ports and prevent more critical relief items from getting through. Ports can only hold and process so many goods, and often the port authorities have difficulty sorting through everything arriving to get it processed and out the doors. Please do not take up collections of medicine, clothing, baby formula or food for shipment [. . .].

    (h/t Paranoid Android for posting about this earlier today.)

    Perhaps your kids could do a bake sale or a car wash to raise cash? Or perhaps they could donate the goods they have collected to a local charity “in the name of” or “in solidarity with” the Japanese victims.

    Here is a link to donate directly to the Japanese Red Cross via Google (also posted by someone else earlier today).

  66. 66.

    BGK

    …and no sooner did I post that than Jack and Sophia each sat up and bazooka-barfed-out enormous hairballs.

    40 pound bags of cat litter and cleanup wipes from Costco should be line items in my paycheck.

    I blame Rick Scott.

  68. 68.

    losingtehplot

    Agree with soonergrunt, AhabTRule, Shadow’s mom: yoga’s the ticket. Don’t need to look for hot sweaty yoga (unless, of course, you want to), but any yoga class, as long as the teacher is not a control freak, will help. I had sciatica 20 years ago, and went to a massage person who told me ‘you can pay me £20 for a half-hour massage for years (working on painful back/hip), or you can start taking yoga classes.’ And I haven’t really had sciatica since. I’m definitely NOT a body beautiful – I hate the way yoga is marketed, so it looks like everyone doing yoga is a slender, muscular, incredibly disciplined, annoyingly pure person. I am none of these things, and drink like a fish, but yoga is still very helpful. One teacher whose workshop I went to said that in the 21st century, yoga is a way of approaching pain in the body and trying to alleviate that pain – nothing else, no one-with-the-universe, cosmic unity, etc. etc. Just, simply, working with your body to either alleviate or accommodate pain. The other stuff may come – the purity, higher consciousness – but first is just getting the body to feel like it’s a good vessel to be in.

  69. 69.

    Cermet

    Can we take bets on how many reactors go – some are saying (news) that a third reactor just blew up (hydrogen gas, not nuclear.)Not looking too good and it will be years to fully clean up that mess if there is no major melt down. Please, tell me again how safe these reactors are but they have learned their lesions … I’m sure all amerikan reactors will be shut down and repaired/updated because that is what the free hand of market forces require … wait, corporate welfare by way of the amerikan taxpayer has to bear all costs of damage – right, corporate profits, amerikan taxpayers and rate payers take the shaft. So explain how reactors are safe if the industry will not pay liability but requires the US taxpayer to assume the monster share? Right.

  71. 71.

    4jkb4ia

    NYT spins PJ Crowley:

    Mr. Crowley had been in a tenuous position for some time, senior officials said, and was discussing another assignment with Mrs. Clinton and her chief of staff, Cheryl D. Mills, even before his Manning remarks. He did not travel on Mrs. Clinton’s plane, which is highly unusual for a spokesman and added to the perception that he did not have access to her inner circle….On Friday, in the wake of the earthquake in Japan, [Crowley] sent out a message on Twitter that said, “We’ve been watching a hopeful tsunami sweep across the Middle East. Now we’re seeing a tsunami of a different kind sweep across Japan.”…He also came under fire in a State Department audit while managing the public affairs bureau.

    And a deputy was named for him last month, which was “widely percieved” as a preliminary step to his leaving.

    Same topic: Ezra agrees with me even though I wasn’t paying that much attention.

    And I know that the Cole-free March only lasted 14 days, but I offer sympathy that John keeps finding ways to injure himself because it is the decent thing to do. Fortunately another ruling passion is prepared to take over.

    (I am delighted to see that this new arrangement means that CBS is going to give us all games that are good, instead of sticking us with Kansas every year because of regional imperatives. For the first weekend I am going OFF THE GRID altogether. When I saw that West Virginia had the first game I made a strangled noise.)

  72. 72.

    AhabTRuler

    NHK World: Operators evacuated (not people involved in water injection), air pressure in the suppression chamber (inside the containment vessel)dropped. ~960 microsieverts reported.

    Containment building appears to be intact.

  73. 73.

    JPL

    @sb: The google home page links to all sorts of information about how to help.
    My initial idea is to have them gather items, sort them and have a large garage sale with all proceeds going to a school in Japan.

  74. 74.

    Brachiator

    Isn’t this the second time you’ve had a significant injury? Take care of yourself, man.

  75. 75.

    Cermet

    @JPL: Again, great idea. Money is what they need – bulk items, even water while useful, can not be shipped for a long time. Money, when used locally in Japan gets these needed items to the victums far faster.

  76. 76.

    goblue72

    @John Cole: Speaking as a dude who put on the midsection poundage in his 30s and then spent a year getting back into svelte fighting shape (and then putting the poundage back on when he fell off the fighting shape wagon and is now climbing BACk on said wagon):

    Being over-weight creates a bit of a cluster-eff. You wind up getting these types of injuries b/c its harder to maintain balance and center of gravity when you’ve got a big gut in your way. You also wind up placing stresses on your lower back and other core muscle areas so they get strained easier by the combo of stress and the fact that lack of exercise = weak core muscles.

    Sorry to say, but lose weight, get in shape and you’ll find yourself falling down & hurting yourself a lot less often. (and I say this as a schlub who is struggling to lose the weight himself.)

    But I think you know this already.

  77. 77.

    Svensker

    @sb:

    Good for your kids! Contact a local organization, like your local Red Cross and explain what’s happening. Like someone else said, they may not be able to take this stuff, but they can surely point you in the right direction.

    Very inspiring. Yay!

  78. 78.

    AhabTRuler

    Man, the Japanese are earnestly trying to fill air with everyone terrified, with so little information to go on.

    And the wind is blowing from the N & NE.

    News conference starting soon.

  80. 80.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    One of the things the Python programming community made sure to set up was plans in case Guido got hit by a bus. Are we going to need those for this site as well?

  81. 81.

    Steeplejack

    @JPL:

    My initial idea is to have them gather items, sort them and have a large garage sale with all proceeds going to a school in Japan.

    Excellent idea.

  84. 84.

    Stan of the Sawgrass

    This isn’t weight-related, but its a question that’s weighed on my mind recently:

    John, et al: Does BJ get paid per click thru, or do you have to do something active on the website of the “sponsor?”

    Because if you get even a dime every time I click thru to effin’ Newsmax because I don’t “like Scott Walker??” I’m going to break my fingers with all the click-throughs. The idea of Newsmax giving you money (and/or TPM, Rawstory, C&L, etc.) would more than make up for the annoyance of seeing the damn winger ads all the time. In fact, would be quite a giggle for us to think that Newsmax is paying for John’s beer and vet bills.

  85. 85.

    AhabTRuler

    Water level was 2700 mm below the tops of the fuel elements before and after the explosion ‘heard’ in the area of the suppression pool. Water level is rising. Staff are remaining to inject water into the reactor(s).

    Also, too: Sorry. I’ll go back to sweaty, sexy people.

  86. 86.

    Corner Stone

    @scav:

    I shutter at the thought.
    __
    I first imagined this as a hard-to-dust vertical closing and clattering up movement but I guess it could work like a camera lens too. Inquiring minds want to know which?

    It’s an old joke for Svensker. I didn’t say it was a funny old joke.

  87. 87.

    quaint irene

    You’re like the Jack Tripper of bloggers.

    I’d say Basil Fawlty. You weren’t ranting about Germans, were you, Cole?

  89. 89.

    quaint irene

    Can we take bets on how many reactors go – some are saying (news) that a third reactor just blew up (hydrogen gas, not nuclea

    Checking out Media Matters today, and their ‘Limbaugh Watch’, and I cannot, I will not believe that I,,,,*gasp*…..agree with something Limbaugh said. Basically that there are a few TV newsie’s who, in the tone of their reporting, almost seem to be wishing for a wholescale nuclear melt-down.

    Damn, I need a shower.

  91. 91.

    Warren Terra

    I was interested to see the following show up in my podcast cue:

    After Words: Peter Firstbrook, “The Obamas: The Untold Story of an African Family,” hosted by Dinesh D’Souza

    Now, I don’t think I listen to even 20% of the episodes of the C-SPAN podcasts I download, and this is precisely the reason why. Looking at Amazon, it appears likely that the Firstbrook book is an interesting, non-racist investigation into the history of Barack Obama’s paternal lineage. Sure, it’s likely to provide fodder for the Limbaughs of the world, but it’s also a fascinating topic, and the indications are that it’s probably a perfectly good book. Then they go and get the poor schmuck interviewed by Dinesh D’Souza? As in, noted racist Dinesh D’Souza? Dude with the absurd and ahistorical conspiracy theories about the influence on his politics of Obama’s paternal lineage?

    A debate with D’Souza might be interesting, albeit at the price of according him too much credibility. Instead, C-SPAN, which is always far too eager to suck up to the far right, gives him the esteemed position of host and interviewer. Assholes.

  92. 92.

    brucds

    I’ve put together a “Common Sense” Guide to the Great Deficit Debate, to help activists get basic background and facts to fight the hysterics generated by Tea Partiers, Koch apparatchiks and GOPer neanderthals:  
     
    A PDF download – and related commentary, links & resources – available here:  
     
    http://titanicsailsatdawn.blogspot.com/  
     
    Hope this is useful to some of you – and spread it around if you are so moved.

  95. 95.

    virag

    dude, you are a fucking menace. got time for some boxing workouts, maybe 4, 5 times a week? kinda’ helps you focus and get in shape at the same time. maybe that way you won’t kill yourself in some stupid accident alone at home and be consumed by the pets before you stink too bad.

  97. 97.

    sb

    Many thanks to all who replied. The consensus seems to be “find a way to get some damn money” which I will pass along to the kids. Again, thanks.

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