You can make up your own jokes about this one.
Under the tutelage of Representative Nancy Pelosi during the years when Democrats ran the House, her party moved to “green” the Capitol with several initiatives, including obligating the food vendor for the three main House cafeterias to provide compostable cups and utensils. But the newly empowered House Republicans have ended the program, and plastic forks and foam cups have returned.
[….]Further, Ms. Wood added, the spoons would often dissolve in hot liquids, and forks and knives bent and snapped. “They could not penetrate lettuce,” she said, adding, “There were a substantial number of complaints.”
JGabriel
That’s what she said.
.
Zam
You think they would want something that could properly dismantle that socialist Arugula that the Dems likely also forced down their throats.
Comrade DougJ
@JGabriel:
Yup.
Zam
Fuck you and your moderation
CJ
Back to American made products, thank Baby Jesus. Only terrorists make biodegradable napkins.
Old Dan and Little Ann
Green and lettuce are all just code words for weed. Damn hippies.
beltane
I happen to think foam cups are nasty. Good coffee is never served in them and I’m not a fan of ingesting whatever horrible chemicals they seep into beverages. It is somewhat of a surprise that the Republicans are worried about utensils as I assumed they just ate with their fingers like on the frontier or in a cave.
Comrade DougJ
@Zam:
You had to know you had said the magic word, right?
gnomedad
See, the libtards tell you all that shit about not having your kids living in Max Mad world, but they don’t tell you about the horror of lettuce non-penetration.
beltane
@Zam: Iceberg lettuce is more likely what they are referring to. It is tough to penetrate and is the only thing somewhat resembling a green that these people will consume.
slag
Has anyone ever been able to eat a salad with any plastic fork without looking like an asshole? If so, I’ve never met that person. Plastic utensils and salad don’t mix.
The Political Nihilist Formerly Known As Kryptik
@beltane:
Which is sad, since Iceberg Lettuce is probably the shittiest of all lettuce. It doesn’t help that it seems to be the only kind of lettuce most places will ever bother with.
Give me some damn Romaine or leaf lettuce or don’t bother.
Zam
@Comrade DougJ: This is a restriction on my Free Speech.
LindaH
Well, John Boehner COULD stand to lose a little weight. So filling the cafeteria with forks you can’t eat with makes some sense.
bago
The 2nd Gen compostible flatware do melt at a low temperature. That’s why Microsoft provides “Special Use” wooden spoons. But we get by.
El Cid
Freedom Forks?
beltane
@slag: True. It’s much easier to use chopsticks for salad than plastic forks but that would really send them over the edge.
Omnes Omnibus
@LindaH: He drinks his calories.
gnomedad
Our long national nightmare of lettuce non-penetration is over.
Random User Name
Compostable “silverware” really does suck.
I bought a box of spoons to keep at work for my morning oatmeal, and the first time I used one the spoon had melted into the hot cereal by the time I walked from the microwave back to my desk.
Yum!
.
geg6
Proud to be belligerantly ignorant. It’s like dealing with a privileged 6 year old. WTF kind of country is this anyway? I seriously give up.
But hey DougJ! What are the chances of Fake David Koch winning up there in the wilds of Western NY? Been wondering about your take on that.
Paul
@The Political Nihilist Formerly Known As Kryptik:
Agreed. John Waters referred to it as The Polyester of Lettuces.
MobiusKlein
@Random User Name: yup, that’s my experience with compostable cutlery.
The rest of the stuff is great though. Plates, napkins, cups, bowls.
Seems stupid to trash the whole program when they could just go back to plastic (or metal!) silverware.
slag
@beltane: Could you imagine the plethora of racist jokes that would come from that situation? It would have to produce the mother of all macaca moments.
Tim
Why do hot liquids and lettuce hate freedom?
Omnes Omnibus
@MobiusKlein: They trashed the program because Democrats introduced it. They did it to be assholes.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
while they may not lettuce penetrate,i bet you can lap up the couscous with those coastal elite utensils.
trollhattan
Ms Wood could not penetrate lettuce. This was clearly a job for Mr Wood, namsayn?
Also, too, arugula kick some Republican spork a**.
Martin
There’s a wetsuit and dildo joke in there somewhere, but I’m too sick to figure it out.
Comrade DougJ
@geg6:
I haven’t been following NY-26 so much…let me check into it.
slag
@MobiusKlein: Metal? As in reusable? Surely you jest! Conservatives aren’t about conserving anything. Wastefulness and wanton destruction are the Real American way.
Omnes Omnibus
@Martin: I hope they are compostable
Delia
This whole thing seems like utter bullshit to me. I live in Eugene, Oregon, the epicenter of composting and recycling. And no eating establishments I know of even use compostable cutlery. They’re either fast food places that still use plastic or they’ve gone back to metal. I would think the Congressional Cafeteria could manage to buy some decent stainless cutlery and just wash the stuff. That’s what you really do if you’re into recycling.
dr. bloor
@beltane:
Served with heaping gobs of Miracle Whip.
amk
@JGabriel:
and her name is Ms Wood.
Omnes Omnibus
@Delia: I am not sure that some of the R. Congresspeople can be trusted not to injure themselves or others if given access to metal flatware.
Chris Wolf
Still, bringing back styrofoam cups is a thumb in the eye. Maybe it’s because Scotch on the rocks stays colder longer in a styrofoam cup.
I have issues with Baltimore
@bago: It’s funny you should mention that: I was visiting Microsoft just this past Monday, and I was explicitly told not to use the forks or spoons with the hot soup for the exact same reason. Also, apparently Microsoft also recycles something like 10^(20) tons of used coffee cups every year. And when you’re on the sky bridge between the terminals and parking in Seatac, the head of the local Port Authority comes on the intercom to welcome you to Seattle and brag about the 10^(49) tons of used coffee grounds they recycle every year. Recycled into what? More coffee? Tires?
TenguPhule
What kind of acidic alien soup do the House Republicans eat that biodegradable spoons disolve in it?
Perhaps we should require mandatory dissection of a few of them to prove they’re not freedom hating illegal aliens from another galaxy.
I have issues with Baltimore
Sci^entific not^ation ma^k^e^s Ballo^o^n Ju^ice^ that much more ^f^u^n!
Martin
@I have issues with Baltimore:
Twinkies.
Omnes Omnibus
@Martin: Is that the gay Teletubby?
cat48
Speaking of lettuce, I read this a.m. that one of the candidates running for the House in NY 26th has a great idea to replace migrant workers. Will you vote for him Comrade DougJ in the Special Election??
dr. bloor
@I have issues with Baltimore:
Windows Vista updates.
burnspbesq
@Zam:
Where in “Congress shall make no law” does it say anything about John Cole?
The scary thing is that your knowledge of the First Amendment may surpass at least a third of the sitting judges on the United States District Court.
sfinny
Most days I have a salad for lunch at my desk. I have one regular fork that is washed quickly after lunch. Then it goes back into the drawer. This is not difficult to do.
I hate the amount of waste in general, but it is very easy to not play into the routine. Everyone in my lunch place knows that I don’t want a bag or plastic utensils. It just doesn’t seem that this should be such an issue.
Oh and for soups I have a spoon in the drawer, too.
Mark B
What’s the problem with having real steel silverware and eating off real plates like a civilized human? Don’t they have a dishwasher in the capitol cafeteria. Does everything have to be served of wasteful disposable containers?
JGabriel
@gnomedad:
Because we never have that problem. Seems confined to the GOP for some reason. Must be one of them, watchmacallit, metaphor thingies.
.
MattR
@Mark B: Would you trust a Republican run kitchen to properly clean the dishes and silverware?
Mark B
Used coffee grounds are excellent for use in compost. Starbucks gives away tons of it, if you want some for your garden.
TooManyJens
@Martin:
Damn gastritis.
Mark B
@MattR: There is that, but they make these machines which wash dishes now. They’re called … something …
slag
@burnspbesq: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think Zam was kidding. Though I often erroneously assume that about people, so maybe not.
DonBoy
Hmm. I am torn between two possibilities. One is that nobody in Congress, their staff, or their vistors was able to eat lunch properly for years. The other is that this is bullshit. Decisions, decisions.
Judas Escargot (aka no lettuce shall be left unpenetrated)
Nothing to say here.
Lettuce FTW.
GregB
Seeing that the GOP assholes went around and threw away all of the recycling bins that Speaker Pelosi had installed in all of the Congressional offices, I am inclined to believe that this story is along the line of Michael Steele getting pelted by Oreo cookies. A big effing lie.
freelancer
@Omnes Omnibus:
Who doesn’t? I mean aside from Huntsman and Romney, obviously. Can’t exactly fault him for that.
trollhattan
O/T can I say something about this
http://www3.nhk.or.jp/daily/english/17_19.html
Versus this?
http://westcoast911.com/wp/2009/07/19/747-jet-hedges-past-dc-10-to-be-biggest-firefighting-air-tanker/
I can’t shake the feeling they’re fighting this thing with one arm tied behind their collective backs. Gaaaaah.
Suffern ACE
@Mark B: My guess is that some people might do “take out” and stock their homes with free plates.
Anne Laurie
@Mark B:
Maybe anything that’s touched GOP mucus membranes is considered a biohazard.
Or else they’re just afraid that if they use dangerous metal utensils, some of the new Teabagger Coalition will (a) poke an eye out, or (b) take down the grid by sticking them in electrical outlets.
JGabriel
@trollhattan:
Because collective fighting is socia1ist.
.
Mnemosyne
We get these potato forks in the cafeterias at work. Heat doesn’t make them melt, so you can eat your soup with them.
ETA: Yes, I eat my soup with a fork. What?
Lysana
They were getting the wrong compostables. I’ve had no problems with the potato plastic utensils I’ve seen in use in San Francisco. Perhaps a little blunter, but salads were no problem and neither were hot foods.
ETA: And Mnemosyne barely beats me to it.
Villago Delenda Est
The dumbfucks were stabbing at lettuce?
Elizabelle
Count your blessings.
I ended up with a date to a high school dance because someone thought I looked cute trying to eat fried chicken with a spork.
trollhattan
@JGabriel:
I need to go to bed. I read your fine snark and thought of the Ramones: “The KKK Took My Baby Away”
trollhattan
But first:
BBC
All fxd!
Just Some Fuckhead
They stab it with their measly knives but they just can’t drill the feast.
Martin
@Just Some Fuckhead: Well done.
Delia
@Mark B:
And even if you don’t make a full compost plants love used coffee grounds. It’s a win all around. You get a nice caffeine buzz; the plants are happy with what’s left over. Apparently only the goopers love the styrofoam. I’m afraid to imagine what they want with it.
piratedan
well whocouldanode that mebbe we’ve stumbled onto a new homeopathic remedy for contraception. Simply place the leaf of iceberg lettuce… oh never mind….
Suffern ACE
@Martin: seconded.
freelancer
@piratedan:
Well, Lettuce is mostly water, anyways.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Martin: They stab it with their silly knives but they just can’t peel the leafs.
Mnemosyne
@Lysana:
Maybe the potato forks are a West Coast thing — I’m in So Cal.
Yutsano
@Mnemosyne: If so they haven’t migrated northward yet. But I find your concept of potato-based cutlery intriguing…
JGabriel
@freelancer:
And it’s all over when the water breaks?
.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason (formerly frosty)
@Just Some Fuckhead: FTW. That was great!!! Just can’t drill the feast, indeed!
opie_jeanne
@Mnemosyne: We had those potato-starch utensils at a hotel recently. They held up nicely in the hot tea.
opie_jeanne
@Yutsano: How far north? We had those things in a hotel in Redding, CA two weeks ago.
Yutsano
@opie_jeanne: Seattle. I’m practically Canuckistani. One slight difference in a treaty and my family still would be.
opie_jeanne
Ah, so you are a neighbor. We now split our time between a “real” house in Woodinville, WA and a tiny cabin near Lake Arrowhead, CA. Right now we’re in Phoenix to watch some Spring Training baseball.
The potato-based utensils will eventually reach Seattle.
Yutsano
@opie_jeanne: Live in Northgate, work downtown, figure Starbucks will prolly catch on to them and then things will take off from there.
wes
i dont get it. some of the best utensils ARE the easily biodegradable ones made out of corn. have you ever tried using those crappy plastic white forks that you get with chinese food? the ones that bend easily? or that tiny tiny spoon that comes with soup?
going back to styrofoam is idiotic and is basically a spiteful move rather than a more practical one.
b-psycho
If republibubilublicaminins are so concerned about penetration ability, then they might as well just do what they really want: eschew all utensil in favor of huge viargra-enhancededed cock. They secretly wanna eat dicks anyway, why not eat off of them to work up to it?
+4…happy st patrick day.
Ash Can
I could swear that when I was an intern on Capitol Hill about eleventy bazillion years ago, the Congressional cafeteria where I ate lunch had the regular stainless-steel-and-china stuff that went in the dishwasher. (And yes, navy bean soup was on the menu every day, and it was yummy.) Maybe they eventually ditched the real utensils because the pols were stealing them blind.
PurpleGirl
@sfinny: At several jobs I did this too; kept a set of flatware at my desk and washed them right after eating. It made lunch seem more civilized. (I don’t take plastic bags when shopping either. I bring back a bag I already have or use a canvas tote.)
WereBear
I believe the Republicans prefer to wrestle with the small and stupid problems. Perhaps we should leave them to it, to keep them away from the big and serious ones.
Aaron Fown
How about a compromise? Compostable dishes, and metal silverware. Good for the environment, and no, erm, penetration problems.
That seems like an easy compromise to mak. . . oh yeah, we are talking about Republicans. Never mind. Continue eating with chips of flint.
Dennis SGMM
I hope the Republicans know that this is the rock to die on – and soon.
El Cid
Not that I have the slightest idea about any of the utensils accused, but I have seen this sort of thing done by well-intentioned folk.
You can’t necessarily say “liberals” because some of them were more “good government” or civic types.
But a well-intentioned decision on matters like this which weren’t really checked out, and ended up pissing everybody — or nearly everybody — off.
dww44
@Mark B:
We’ve been recycling coffee grounds for 3 decades. Learned it from the in-laws who were great in the garden and yard. A good use is around the root beds of all sorts of ever-green shrubs. Whenever an azalea’s leaves or those of a creeping gardenia start yellowing we use coffee grounds to replenish lost nutrients.
dww44
@Mark B:
I think there are a couple of answers to that. Some company got a no-bid contract to supply those plastic plates, cups, and utensils and that was a double win cause some poor workers lost a job. Our economy is all about figuring out how to make humans disposable, not the stuff we eat with.
Waratah
For the Republicans to use real utensils and plates they would have to create jobs. Someone has to clean them.
Meg
I don’t know. Why can’t they use some normal dishes and wares and wash them afterward, like at home, in restaurants or other student cafeteria?