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You are here: Home / Economics / Free Markets Solve Everything / Here’s My Secret Plan

Here’s My Secret Plan

by John Cole|  March 22, 20116:07 pm| 45 Comments

This post is in: Free Markets Solve Everything

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Apparently some former SEIU fellow has some sort of top secret plan to crash the stock market and economy. It all seems pretty elaborate to me, so here is my secret plan- just keep doing what we are doing and continue to not regulate, and those jackasses will crash the economy on their own again in a couple years. Wall Street and our Galtian Overlords did a bang-up job the last couple years with no SEIU input whatsoever.

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Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    pablo

    March 22, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    Not note, not.

  2. 2.

    scav

    March 22, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    @pablo: Note, not not?

  3. 3.

    Warren Terra

    March 22, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    Sssh! You’ll blow the plan, comrade.

    P.S. I for one refuse to point out the note/not typo.

  4. 4.

    Cris

    March 22, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    He turned a dam, alakazam, into a dame; but my friend Sam stayed just the same.

  5. 5.

    scav

    March 22, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    We will not be silenced! Tom Leher for theme

    ETA: @Cris: exactl-e!

  6. 6.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    March 22, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    stop paying your bills isn’t all that complicated. it would make chuck palaniuk look like an asshole for thinking he needed to go all project mayhem on everything back in the day.

  7. 7.

    JPL

    March 22, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Call me whatever..but I wish it were this easy..

    Lerner’s plan is to organize a mass, coordinated “strike” on mortgage, student loan, and local government debt payments–thus bringing the banks to the edge of insolvency and forcing them to renegotiate the terms of the loans. This destabilization and turmoil, Lerner hopes, will also crash the stock market, isolating the banking class and allowing for a transfer of power.

    EDIT.. Just so John and Balloon Juice don’t get in trouble..I think Wall Street can do a good job destroying itself but the US Government won’t let them..

  8. 8.

    Cris

    March 22, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    @scav: exactl-e!

    You mean exact…. L Y!

  9. 9.

    General Stuck

    March 22, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    Unions ain’t ACORN, and former union officials are former. The more they go after unions, the better for dems. I think it is roughly 40 percent of union members usually vote GOP, so it is a fairly decent place to mint new dems.

    Between those folks, and minorities, especially Hispanic, the tea tards are heading to be our best weapon.

  10. 10.

    Bob Loblaw

    March 22, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    Complicated?

    His plan is basically for mortgage and student loan holders to just stop paying.

    Then after the entire financial system is rendered insolvent, the commercial paper markets freeze, the stock markets crash, and all domestic lending shuts down, will we enter in a new age of enlightened, egalitarian politics. Because 1917 was a kickass year for mankind.

    Honestly, I know we’re all riding high on unions lately, but if this is what qualified as leadership at the SEIU…the SEIU has some fucking problems.

  11. 11.

    scav

    March 22, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    @Cris: I am sooo unused to be in the valued company of fellow cultists.

  12. 12.

    Maude

    March 22, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    Heard on Bloomberg that 40% of the big banks will be too big to fail by 2015. Only a restatement of Glass Steagal will prevent this monster from rearing it’s ugly head. In the finreg, a too big to fail would be kaput. That is, if the repubs ever fund it.
    The problem with kaput is that could take a lot of people with it, like passengers on the Titanic.
    I am in a foul mood and truly hate the banksters.

  13. 13.

    ppcli

    March 22, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    Some guy who got drummed out of SEIU for having a crackpot scheme to shake everything up has a crackpot scheme to shake everything up. This is news? I bet even O’Keefe would toss this one back into the water.

  14. 14.

    Zifnab

    March 22, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    It all seems pretty elaborate to me, so here is my secret plan- just keep doing what we are doing and continue to not regulate, and those jackasses will crash the economy on their own again in a couple years.

    If they do it themselves, we can’t blame the SEIU, now can we? Much better to just blame every economic down turn on those damn liberals.

  15. 15.

    Arundel

    March 22, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Glenn Beck is lovin’ it, via Media Matters:

    Glenn Beck Enters Full-Fledged “Mad Max” Mode

  16. 16.

    MattF

    March 22, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Everyone’s now got a plan to make a billion. Or two. They’ve all read Lewis’ book ‘The Big Short’ and missed everything Lewis said, except for the fact that a couple of weird people made a fortune out of the financial meltdown. They’re all saying to themselves “Hey, I’m brilliant, I could do that!” But, y’know… maybe not. Interesting times, and it ain’t over.

  17. 17.

    mws

    March 22, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Sign me up for that SEIU dude’s plan.

  18. 18.

    Annamal

    March 22, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    Not just the market, also too:

    Vital infrastructure (sewerage systems,dams,water pipes and bridges are socialism)
    health and safety regulations
    The education system of the United States.

    and eventually:
    The entire environment

    Whocouldanode that unhealthy workers scared of taking sick days, lacking reasoning and logical skills and pressured to do a rush job in an unregulated environment would ignore the obvious signs of a massive infrastructure failure leading to a gigantic ecological disaster and mass loss of human life?

  19. 19.

    ppcli

    March 22, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    Like Molière’s hero who discovered to his delight that he had been speaking prose all his life, I bet this guy’s plan will delight many: ” “a mass, coordinated “strike” on mortgage, student loan, and local government debt payments” – Hey, man, I’ve been doing this for years, and people called me a deadbeat. But I’m part of the revolution, man!

  20. 20.

    Lol

    March 22, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    The whole notion on the left that people will embrace liberalism if let the whole system crash is no less delusional than the notion on the right that people will embrace libertarianism if we all go Galt and let the whole system crash.

  21. 21.

    Jay in Oregon

    March 22, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    @ppcli:

    This is news? I bet even O’Keefe would toss this one back into the water.

    Are you kidding? I bet he’s stocking his houseboat full of sex toys even as we speak.

  22. 22.

    Jay in Oregon

    March 22, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    @ppcli:

    This is news? I bet even O’Keefe would toss this one back into the water.

    Are you kidding? I bet he’s stocking his houseboat full of sex toys even as we speak.

  23. 23.

    Moonbatman

    March 22, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    so here is my secret plan- just keep doing what we are doing and continue to not regulate, and those jackasses will crash the economy on their own again in a couple years.

    The only problem is the Obama Administration has not been able to re-inflate the Housing Bubble to provide homes to the poor and working families.

    Despite the great work of the Democrats bailing out and pumping cash into Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae.
    Peace Out. The Power is Yours.

  24. 24.

    J.W. Hamner

    March 22, 2011 at 7:16 pm

    I think if you had the level of support necessary to get such a massive level of civil disobedience that could bring Wall Street to its knees… actually destroying the financial system would be sort of beside the point, no?

  25. 25.

    Bubblegum Tate

    March 22, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    @ppcli:

    I bet even O’Keefe would toss this one back into the water.

    No way–he’d be making a video “exposing” how this guy is the leader of every union on the face of the planet (which, by the way, is only a slightly exaggerated version of tomorrow’s wingnut talking points).

  26. 26.

    Fledermaus

    March 22, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    If you’re looking for me when the country is burning, I’ll be the one with the fiddle

  27. 27.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 22, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    @ppcli: I believe he was dismayed to find that he had been speaking prose.

  28. 28.

    AAA Bonds

    March 22, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Wait, a fifth columnist plan to use strikes and stocks to crash the economy?

    That’s . . . that’s the plot of a story from Superman #4.

    Spring 1940. I only remember that because that issue’s also the world debut of Lex Luthor.

  29. 29.

    AAA Bonds

    March 22, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    @Bob Loblaw:

    Honestly, I know we’re all riding high on unions lately, but if this is what qualified as leadership at the SEIU…the SEIU has some fucking problems.

    May I humbly submit the theory that it is you who has some fucking problems?

  30. 30.

    cleek

    March 22, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    douchebag said what?

  31. 31.

    srv

    March 22, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    @Arundel: I got my Bible and my gun, baby. I wonder if anyone has ever done a combo deal.

  32. 32.

    Lawnguylander

    March 22, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    You would think the SEIU leadership would be more enthusiastic about a plan that would wipe out all its members pensions and 401Ks. It would be totally worth it because it would crash the Manhattan and Hamptons real opening up the swankiest of neighborhoods to janitors and the like at long last.

  33. 33.

    GMF

    March 22, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    I hope “the blaze” doesn’t get a hold of my 70-year-old aunt’s plan to bring down the oil companies by convincing everyone to not buy gas on Thursday.

    If anyone’s interested in the plan, let me know & I’ll forward you the email.

  34. 34.

    arguingwithsignposts

    March 22, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    @Jay in Oregon: Ewwww!

  35. 35.

    HyperIon

    March 22, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    @AAA Bonds wrote: Wait, a fifth columnist plan to use strikes and stocks to crash the economy? That’s . . . that’s the plot of a story from Superman #4.

    I recognize the voice of TZ, no?

  36. 36.

    piratedan

    March 22, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    sounds like he’s chanelling Miss Ann Elk from an old Python bit.

  37. 37.

    piratedan

    March 22, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    sounds like he’s channeling Miss Ann Elk from an old Python bit.

  38. 38.

    Bubblegum Tate

    March 22, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    @GMF:

    bring down the oil companies by convincing everyone to not buy gas on Thursday.

    Oh my god, I know so many people who actually think that sort of shit works. People who are otherwise plenty intelligent, but for some reason lack the capacity to understand why that’s a completely stupid concept. It’s mystifying.

  39. 39.

    alwhite

    March 22, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    why did you link to that web site? I was happy – well not really ‘happy’, I don’t think I have been really happy since St. Ronnie moved in & wrecked the place, but what passes for happy these days – not knowing that piece of shit existed. I mean I know that there are chicken fuckers in the world but that does not mean I want to see movies of them fucking chickens.

    Those people should be sealed in concrete & dumped in the Marianas trench.

  40. 40.

    cat48

    March 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    Great! I just read we should have a good jobs report for Feb., but lets start all over again. So much fun the first time.

  41. 41.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    March 22, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    @Bubblegum Tate: I keep getting told by relatives that I can take down the oil companies by filling my car at night when it is cooler and the gas will compress more such that I get more molecules per gallon than I would during the day.

    I’ll feel stupid when they’re all millionaires…

    ETA: they don’t use words like “compress” or “molecules” obviously.

  42. 42.

    Fred Woolsey

    March 22, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    We need a new taxonomy of craziness.

    Batshit crazy no longer cuts it. (BTW – why is bat shit crazy? Methinks it might make great fertilizer – a wonderfully practical and far-from-crazy use for guano, if you ask me.)
    Head-trauma crazy fails miserably.

    Perhaps we need to consider the following possibilities:

    Beaten-with-a-tire-iron-’til-you-can-see-the-backside-of-your-bellybutton-crazy?
    The-invisible-people-you-talk-to-think-you’re-crazy-crazy?
    Charlie-Sheen-listens-to-your-advice-crazy?

    C’mon, people. Surely (and don’t call me that) we can find newer, even crazier definitions of crazy. It is imperative that we do so. Otherwise, we will find our semantics overwhelmed by waves of craziness that escape description and are thus, by default, deemed non-crazy.

    Crazy shit, ain’t it?

  43. 43.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    March 23, 2011 at 12:57 am

    @Barb (formerly Gex):

    i have a relative who is an independent operator of retail petroleum locations, he has never suggested that purchases at night increase value…

    if that helps, or hurts.

    frankly, if it were true, the industry would be selling the benefits of slightly warmed gasoline, particularly in winter.

  44. 44.

    twiffer

    March 23, 2011 at 10:20 am

    @Fred Woolsey: my personal theory is that “bat-shit insane” refers to spending all your time in your secret lair in an attic or cave, and thus being covered in bat shit. or that it just has a nice ring to it. haven’t decided yet

  45. 45.

    Joeshabadoo

    March 23, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    @GMF:
    You can’t compare the stupid gas thing to this stupid banking thing. Gas is a necessity and needs to bought eventually to get to work or buy food while loans are not.

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