Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

The revolution will be supervised.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

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Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    beltane

    Tom Levenson’s post last night was very good. I prefer Albrecht Durer to Lucas Cranch but it was still a good post. Maybe he will write a post about Henry II and the origins of that whole rule of law thingie. The Republican party seems to have forgotten their supposedly beloved Anglo-Saxon roots.

  2. 2.

    FlipYrWhig

    No Open Thread has ever turned out well! Explain to me why this time is going to be any different! You can’t, can you? Another Open Thread quagmire for the Juicican Empire. Sigh.

  3. 3.

    Cermet

    That explains why the competence level of the trolling posts went even further down or is it why the competence of the blog went up when you stopped … .

  4. 4.

    aimai

    To paraphrase Rudigore “If a man can’t troll his own threads, whose threads can he troll?”

    aimai

  9. 9.

    4jkb4ia

    But I can’t seem to get to you through the US mail…

    Via Greg Sargent, Russ Feingold: Jeffrey Immelt Must Go Very nicely done.

    On the other end of the blog divide, Abu Muqawama could use your help in Twitter Fight Club tomorrow because Glenn Greenwald has not even been trying. I blame Adam Serwer for roping me into this.

  10. 10.

    shortstop

    No self-controll.

    It’s your blog and you can be as cranky as you want to. I seriously cannot believe that people email you to bitch about other commenters. Some lives are sorely in need of getting gotten.

  12. 12.

    Carnacki

    @beltane: You always have to drag up Henry II, beltane. Always. There was that post about soccer and you had to go, “Well, Henry II thought soccer helped build character.” Or that post about WWII and you commented, “Henry II would have invaded Normandy in 1943 and not bothered with North Africa.” I swear, you love Henry II so much why don’t you dig up his corpse and marry him?

  14. 14.

    Comrade Mary

    Here’s some news to cheer everyone up: I just took my Vitamin D again!

    (Not doing it for you? Well, it’s cheering me up. Plus, the long bike ride in actual sunlight helped, too).

    Hey John, do you have an old bike hiding in your garage? Why not just go out and pedal a bit?

  15. 15.

    licensed to kill time

    how many trolls would a john cole chuck if a john cole would chuck trolls?

  16. 16.

    Amir_Khalid

    Well, there have been quite a few threads, “open” or not, where John Cole and a few particular commenters have wound up hissing and snarling at each other over the US intervention in Libya — he’s even pie-filtered one commenter, so I understand.

    So let’s not steer the conversation that way.

    Has anybody seen Sucker Punch? I know I said the poster screams “cinematic abomination” (and so do four out of five film critics, per RottenTomatoes.com). But is it just bad bad, or entertainingly bad?

  21. 21.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Amir_Khalid: Sucker Punch is just like the other Zack Snyder movies, and history has shown that getting involved in those never ends well.

  22. 22.

    shortstop

    Ugh, I just read the thread in question and see that it’s specific trollery, not a general version of same. Good job, Cole, you asshole. Set up the chalkboard in front of the fingernails and run away.

  26. 26.

    schrodinger's cat

    I has a happeh, India won its semifinal against Pakistan and is now on to the finals. YAY!

  27. 27.

    dmsilev

    First GOP debate postponed due to national clown shortage. Quote of the day:

    John Heubusch, executive director for the Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation, explained in a statement: “Although there will be a long and impressive list of Republican candidates who eventually take the field, too few have made the commitment thus far for a debate to be worthwhile in early May.”

    Remember, kids, less than 300 shopping days left until the Iowa caucuses.

    dms

  29. 29.

    Josie

    @Comrade Mary: Yay for you (vitamin d). And you are right about sunlight. In fact, I am going to leave this wretched computer and go out to work in the yard. Thanks for the nudge.

  30. 30.

    cyntax

    @Amir_Khalid:

    Entertainingly bad is a rare thing. More than likely it’s just ponderously bad. I mean the wife and I thought Alien vs. Predator was hilarious (pyramids under Antartica’s ice cap??!!), but YMMV.

  31. 31.

    joes527

    @Comrade Mary:

    Hey John, do you have an old bike hiding in your garage? Why not just go out and pedal a bit?

    Given John’s accident history … that probably wouldn’t end well.

  34. 34.

    Tonal Crow

    We saw a troll, a mighty troll, and left the field in haste,
    For fighting with so grave a foe,
    Our knighthood’s sure to waste.

  36. 36.

    Bulworth

    Remember, kids, less than 300 shopping days left until the Iowa caucuses.

    Can we move it up, or schedule some new clown events? I could use the entertainment.

  37. 37.

    Amir_Khalid

    @dmsilev:

    They’re all saying politely to each other: “After you.” “No, after you.”

    I guess none of those Republican presidential “hopefuls” really wants the 2012 nomination, if it amounts to being crowned King of the Tea Party Klowns and a humiliating defeat in the election proper.

  39. 39.

    Tim, Interrupted

    Oh please, Cole.

    The way Obots use the term “troll” around here, EVERY post and comment they disagree with is trolling.

    So…fuck them and post what you want. It’s entertaining, especially when you’re meds are especially out of whack. It’s like having two ABLs.

  41. 41.

    Violet

    Troll, troll, troll your blog
    Gently down the thread.
    Merrily, verily, warily, scarily
    Post where few will tread.

  44. 44.

    justawriter

    I hear you John. Sometimes, after reading a couple of blogs I just have to go and watch unicorns fart rainbows until the headaches go away and the blood pressure gauge dips below OMFG-STROKE AHEAD zone.

  47. 47.

    schrodinger's cat

    @shortstop: Rooting for India all the way! Wondering whether Sachin Tendulkar will make his 100 th century in one day internationals. SriLanka is a formidable team though. I am excited.

  48. 48.

    Rommie

    Hey, Jim Tressel apologized for getting caught Breakin’ Teh Law, so I’m guessing he’ll keep the details out of e-mails from now on. You have to learn from your mistakes, you know.

    I’ll enjoy watching the Fiesta Bowl burn too, but there’s a downside: the logical replacement is a Jerry Jones Ego Bowl in his new entertainment palace.

  51. 51.

    aimai

    @joes527:
    Oh, I don’t know, only if he bikes on the rooftop with a ladder, a rake, a dog, some ice, a helmet, and his lazyboy. Then he’s really going to be in trouble.

    aimai

  52. 52.

    schrodinger's cat

    @shortstop: He was the best of trolls, he was the worst of trolls.
    I is on your internet, trolling your my blog
    To troll or not to troll, that is the question.

  53. 53.

    R-Jud

    Old King Troll was a grumpy old soul
    And a grumpy old soul was he
    He called for his cat
    And he called for his dogs
    And he called for his posh green tea

  54. 54.

    Vibrant Pantload, fka Studly Pantload

    @shortstop:

    I’ll see your 76 trollbones, and raise you 99 trollballoons.

    Sincerely,
    Vibrant,
    Trollbot for Obama

  55. 55.

    Citizen_X

    Don’t know what it all means, but in the middle of her newscast, some bleached-blonde newsbot started nonchalantly praying to Cthulhu, or telling Klaatu not to destroy Earth, or something.

  57. 57.

    licensed to kill time

    God save the troll!
    We mean it, man
    It ain’t no human bein’
    And John Cole’s screeeeeaaaaamin’!

    NO future
    NO future
    NO future for trolls………

  60. 60.

    freelancer

    They’ll troll you when you’re walking on the floor
    They’ll troll you when you’re walking through the door
    But I would not feel so all alone
    Everybody must get trolled!

  61. 61.

    schrodinger's cat

    Sorry, I’m cranky and some times I seriously can not help myself.

    The switch is complete. Tunch has finally taken over the blog. All hail Tunch, the mighty kitteh!

  64. 64.

    scav

    “And the Caissons go Trolling along”. although I swear I started somehow with the traditional Klip-Klop, Klip-Klop of goats over a bridge, segued into “I’m a Troll fol-de-rol, I’m a Troll fol-de-rol, I’m a Troll fol-de-rol and I’ll eat you for supper”. Must be air-borne: I haven’t ingested anything in this thread.

  69. 69.

    shortstop

    69 posts. We’ve got a trollathlon here.

    Or, as people who annoy me say, a trollath-a-lon.

  70. 70.

    AAA Bonds

    In the latest gambit out of Washington’s head-spinning budget debate, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor announced Wednesday that if the Senate fails to act by next week, Republicans will proffer a bill forcing an earlier House GOP plan that did not pass Congress to become the “law of the land.” The proposal outlined Wednesday would be an unusual and likely unconstitutional move.

    Fox News front page right now.

    Repeat: the Congressional Republicans just LOST Fox News.

  75. 75.

    RSR

    shoot I think my commend got eated by moderation.

    do owly links do that? can’t think what else would garner attention

  79. 79.

    Incoherent Dennis SGMM

    @AAA Bonds:
    Looks like the Republicans have caught Wisconsin fever. I’ve read the Constitution and its amendments a few times and for the life of me I can’t remember the words “Because we say so!” being a part of it.

  80. 80.

    Sentient Puddle

    @AAA Bonds: Actually, Fox News did sort of temper their assessment. It isn’t “likely unconstitutional,” as they say. It’s the full-on WTF Cantor needs to watch some Schoolhouse Rock dumbassery kind of unconstitutional.

  82. 82.

    RSR

    gonna try the quote again without the link

    Guess what this is about:

    “Make no mistake,” he said, “the final responsibility is ours — and we are warriors.”

    Lest his point be missed, Sen. Summerville added, “We will bend [it] to our awe, or break it all to pieces.”

  83. 83.

    licensed to kill time

    I dreamed a dream in blogs gone by,
    When trolls were high and blogs, worth living.
    I dreamed that trolls would never die,
    I dreamed that Cole would be forgiving.
    Then I was young and unafraid,
    And trolls were made and used and wasted.
    There was no ransom to be paid,
    No troll unsung, no troll untasted.

  85. 85.

    Studly Pantload, Vibrant Trollbot for Obama

    Has Sadly, No! sullied the phrase “troll your own blog” by making it a euphemism, yet?

  87. 87.

    scav

    @Sentient Puddle: Well, in all fairness, while they’ve established to their own satisfaction that “The Constitution isn’t a Suicide Pact”, no-one’s actually proven that it can be reliably distinguished from a Overtired Child’s Screaming Hissy-Fit (so long as it is the Correct Child it should go without saying).

  89. 89.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    @shortstop:
    to the song list, i submit, courtney love

    I am
    troll eyes
    troll mouth
    troll legs
    I am
    troll arms
    Big veins
    Dog bait

    Yeah, they really want you
    They really want you
    They really do
    Yeah, they really want you
    They really want you
    But I do too

    I want to be the girl with the most cake
    I love him so much it just turns to hate
    I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
    And someday, you will ache like I ache
    Someday, you will ache like I ache

  91. 91.

    shortstop

    You’ve got a blue-eyed troll/And if you don’t let it show/It’ll leave you; you won’t even know

  97. 97.

    shortstop

    I am looking at the pile of work I have not done while I was happily effing off in this thread. So long, troll well, auf wiedersehen, good night.

  98. 98.

    justawriter

    It’s my bloggy
    and I’ll troll if I want to
    troll if I want to
    troll if I want to
    You would troll too if it happened to you

  99. 99.

    licensed to kill time

    TROLL be not proud, though some have called thee
    Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so

  101. 101.

    4jkb4ia

    “So into the forest we went. It was spooky in there.” Bruce stage-whispers in mock-terrified tones that wouldn’t frighten a three-year-old. “There were sounds comin’ from all over the place.” The audience picks up the cue and makes pseudospooky noises. “Sounded like werewolves.” From the audience, somewhat sinister snarls. “Sounded like homicidal cows.” The crowd obliges with massive mooing. “Sounded like mad dogs barkin'”. The fans approximate barking. “Sounded like THE COLE out there!” At the mention of this mythical creature from the Borisian wastes the West Virginia mountains, the crowd ditches all pretense and simply trolls its lungs out.

    (Deep apologies to Dave Marsh in Glory Days)
    (John really broke down and got the pie filter? I am dead.)

  111. 111.

    4jkb4ia

    Here I am, on the blog again,
    There I am, up on the stage,
    There I go, playing troll again,
    There I go, turn the page.

    Up there in the spotlight, you’re a million miles away
    Every ounce of trollery you try to give away
    As the angst pours from your fingers like the games that pols play

    Later in the evening as you lie awake in bed
    With the echoes from the commenters ringing in your head
    You drink the day’s last cup of tea, remembering what she said

    I really meant 100 to be silly, but it went against all my good resolutions.

  112. 112.

    Elliecat

    Troll Over Beethoven.
    (Or Troll Over Vaughn Williams, if you prefer Richard Thompson).

  116. 116.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    @4jkb4ia:

    Color me your color, baby.
    Color me your car.
    Color me your color, darling.
    I know who you are.
    Come up off your color chart.
    I know where you’re coming from.
    troll me on the line.
    troll me, troll me any anytime.
    troll me, my love, you can troll me any day or night.
    troll me!

  118. 118.

    Paul in KY

    @Rommie: I would think it would be the Citrus Bowl or the Gator Bowl that would move up or maybe return the Cotton Bowl to BCSdom.

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