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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Mulva? Dolores?

Mulva? Dolores?

by John Cole|  March 31, 20116:36 pm| 44 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity, Vagina Outrage, Clown Shoes

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You can not make this shit up:

During last week’s discussion about a bill that would prohibit governments from deducting union dues from a worker’s paycheck, state Rep. Scott Randolph, D-Orlando, used his time during floor debate to argue that Republicans are against regulations — except when it comes to the little guys, or serves their specific interests.

At one point Randolph suggested that his wife “incorporate her uterus” to stop Republicans from pushing measures that would restrict abortions. Republicans, after all, wouldn’t want to further regulate a Florida business.

Apparently the GOP leadership of the House didn’t like the one-liner.

They told Democrats that Randolph is not to discuss body parts on the House floor.

Apparently they were concerned about pages hearing the word “uterus.”

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Reader Interactions

44Comments

  1. 1.

    FlipYrWhig

    March 31, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    They were also outraged that Randolph’s epidermis was showing.

  2. 2.

    dmsilev

    March 31, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Just how old are Florida legislative pages anyway? If the answer is “over 12” or thereabouts, it’s a pretty safe bet that they’ve already learned a whole raft of terms for various parts of the human body.

    Also, mad props to the GOP for excellence in press management. If they hadn’t thrown a fit, the only people who would have heard this story are full-time Florida-legislature-watchers. Now…

    dms

  3. 3.

    General Stuck

    March 31, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    My dick is incorporated, but only for a tax shelter.

  4. 4.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 31, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    They told Democrats that Randolph is not to discuss body parts on the House floor.

    This includes phrases like “toe the line,” “finger-pointing,” or “earmarks.” Right? RIGHT?

  5. 5.

    JPL

    March 31, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    @dmsilev: You are correct. Sweet!

  6. 6.

    FlipYrWhig

    March 31, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    @General Stuck: That gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “limited liability.”

  7. 7.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 31, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    @General Stuck: A man with a good tool builds a shed over it.

  8. 8.

    Zifnab

    March 31, 2011 at 6:48 pm

    Potty Language! Potty Language!
    STFU! STFU! STFU!

  9. 9.

    cathyx

    March 31, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    Republicans don’t like to use the proper anatomical word for a body part. They prefer to use words like boobies, instead of breasts, and wieners, instead of penis, vajayjay instead of vagina. Uterus? A woman’s indoor plumbing.

  10. 10.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 31, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    They told Democrats that Randolph is not to discuss body parts on the House floor.

    Awesome, sounds like a start in the direction of no more pesky abortion restrictions.

  11. 11.

    pragmatism

    March 31, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    its uter-us, not uter-you. don’t be so selfish gopers.

  12. 12.

    Tsulagi

    March 31, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    At one point Randolph suggested that his wife “incorporate her uterus” to stop Republicans from pushing measures that would restrict abortions. Republicans, after all, wouldn’t want to further regulate a Florida business.

    That’s pretty slick. Like it.

    They told Democrats that Randolph is not to discuss body parts on the House floor.

    Apparently in addition to not uttering the U word, they don’t want Randolph to point out they have their heads up their asses.

  13. 13.

    gex

    March 31, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    I *still* know “moderate independents” who have no trouble with the GOP. I wonder if there is something they could do that would wake up those straight white Christian males. Or is there something about that demo that makes them indifferent to the GOPs war on everyone else?

  14. 14.

    joe from Lowell

    March 31, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    Cripes, what a pussy.

  15. 15.

    DarrenG

    March 31, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    I think the idea of expanding civil rights through incorporating everyone and everything needs to get traction. This is brilliant.

    It’s not “gay marriage” any more; it’s “an innovative matrimonial start-up,” and you wouldn’t want to hurt the economy by passing job-killing regulations on American small business, would you?

  16. 16.

    Nemo_N

    March 31, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    I suppose it’s better to keep women as an undefined concept, devoid of even organs.

  17. 17.

    beltane

    March 31, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    I have to laugh when I think of all those Republican wives out there because you just know that the only pleasure they have in bed is dreaming about Teh Rapture.

  18. 18.

    beltane

    March 31, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    @gex: Maybe if those straight white Christian men found that women avoided them like a clap infected toilet seat on account of their Republican loving ways they’d get the message.

  19. 19.

    Tom Levenson

    March 31, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    I’ve been thinking of the proper corporate structure for my … party of the first part…

    [email protected]General Stuck: I do think designating it a corporation has merit, but for me, I’d say a limited partnership is the way to go.

    My spouse concurs.

  20. 20.

    FlipYrWhig

    March 31, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    @Tom Levenson: Bill Clinton formed an S corporation.

  21. 21.

    pragmatism

    March 31, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    @Tom Levenson: S corp. the s stands for sexy.

  22. 22.

    beltane

    March 31, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Wouldn’t be awesome if someone locked a gaggle of these talibangical teabaggers in a room for 24 hours and forced them to watch the Vagina Monologues over and over again?

  23. 23.

    MikeTheZ

    March 31, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    @beltane: You’d walk into the room afterwards and think you were in Sparta…

  24. 24.

    FlipYrWhig

    March 31, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    @pragmatism: Psych!

  25. 25.

    wasabi gasp

    March 31, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    That fucking vagina makes everybody down there look bad.

  26. 26.

    pragmatism

    March 31, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    @FlipYrWhig: lolz. someone owes someone a coke.

  27. 27.

    nancydarling

    March 31, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    This reminded me of the Texas lege several years ago. Most of you have probably seen Molly Ivins and the dildo diaries. It is still good for a laugh. Alas, Molly is no longer with us but Warren Chisum is still representing Pampa, Texas last I heard. Danberg lost her seat from Houston when Delay masterminded the redistricting.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUl6x1YXpg

  28. 28.

    AkaDad

    March 31, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    I’m surprised that a Republican wants to censor God’s design.

  29. 29.

    wenchacha

    March 31, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Is he allowed to refer to it as her “vessel?”

    Blessed be the fruit.

  30. 30.

    Benjamin Cisco (mobile)

    March 31, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Wow, these guys do the fainting couch bit pretty good.

  31. 31.

    evap

    March 31, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    Great title!

  32. 32.

    Anne Laurie

    March 31, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    @cathyx:

    Uterus? A woman’s indoor plumbing.

    Insert joke here about the GOP rednecks’ inexperience with the concept of indoor plumbing.

    Also, dibs on ‘Incorporated Uterus’ as a pretty good blog title, for a sole-proprietor operation.

  33. 33.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    March 31, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    @beltane: Now you see why they don’t want a rape exemption for abortions.

    ETA: “They” being the GOP, not all straight white Christian males.

  34. 34.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    March 31, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    @Tom Levenson:

    having been a sole proprietor for several stretches, i find that a private equity arrangement, suits my immediate needs.

  35. 35.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    March 31, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    @wenchacha:

    as long as he doesn’t claim she has associate membership in the chamber of commerce, he should be ok.

  36. 36.

    CalD

    March 31, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    Next, they’ll be banning dictionaries.

  37. 37.

    Jeffro

    March 31, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    Logic experiment: what would happen if each and every adult in the U.S. decided to incorporate themselves (as some sort of generic consultant or something)?

    I guess it wouldn’t be union organizing at that point…it’d be “business to business” consulting work?

    And health care? When enough “businesses” can’t afford to insure their worker (singular), do they all get a vote in their local Chamber of Commerce saying they should lobby for single-payer?

    The mind boggles…but in a good way…=)

  38. 38.

    JCT

    March 31, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    Hmmmm. these guys didn’t seem to have such major problems with Tom Foley “talking” to those innocent pages.

  39. 39.

    G Newman

    March 31, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Hmm… outlawing the word uterus.

    “Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible because there will be no words in which to express it.” — George Orwell, “1984”

  40. 40.

    Donald G

    March 31, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    @JCT:

    Hmmmm. these guys didn’t seem to have such major problems with Tom Foley “talking” to those innocent pages.

    That was Mark Foley (R-FL) with the inappropriate chat with pages, not Tom Foley (D-WA).

  41. 41.

    Social outcast

    March 31, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    They should stay out of her freedom womb.

  42. 42.

    Don K

    April 1, 2011 at 12:11 am

    Wow, they must think these kids are really sheltered.

    UTERUS! PENIS! TESTICLES! VAGINA! CLITORIS!!!

    I just had to get it out.

  43. 43.

    JCT

    April 1, 2011 at 8:21 am

    @Donald G: Duly noted, it’s been awhile.

  44. 44.

    Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion

    April 1, 2011 at 10:29 am

    @gex:

    Or is there something about that demo that makes them indifferent to the GOPs war on everyone else?

    yes

    straight white Christian males

    This has been another episode of simple answers to stupid questions.
    In all seriousness, it’s simple tribalist, identity politics.

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