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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night Open Thread: Worst Pub Crawl Ever

Late Night Open Thread: Worst Pub Crawl Ever

by Anne Laurie|  April 6, 20111:29 am| 32 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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You do the grownup thing, try to be responsible with your relaxation choices, and still end up in the Fortean Times “Weird Death” column…

LEOMINSTER, Mass. — Police are investigating an accident on a Massachusetts highway after two men fell out the bathroom window of a tour bus. The fall killed one man and injured the other late Saturday.
__
The bus was returning from a trip to a brewery in Portsmouth, N.H. when the two men reportedly fell out of the window on Route 2 in Shirley, Mass…
__
A state trooper who was headed to another call discovered the men in the breakdown lane of Route 2. A 31-year-old Gardner man was pronounced dead at the scene, while a 34-year-old man was rushed to the hospital.

Raise a glass to your fallen comrades, fellas, but maybe not the souvenir mugs with the Red Hook logo. Gods come and go, but Murphy (aka Coyote) never rests!

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Reader Interactions

32Comments

  1. 1.

    LT

    April 6, 2011 at 1:31 am

    Well aren’t you a tender one.

  2. 2.

    BGinCHI

    April 6, 2011 at 1:32 am

    Hope it’s not Affleck and Damon.

  3. 3.

    PeakVT

    April 6, 2011 at 1:38 am

    …two men fell out the bathroom window of a tour bus.

    Um, yeah. Though it was a brewery tour, so I suppose they could have been desperate enough to take a leak that they would both try to jam themselves into the same tour bus bathroom at the same time.

    [Insert Strange Brew clip that I am too lazy to dig up here.]

    ETA: Speaking of North Americans with funny accents, what’s up with Wisconsin? I didn’t expect a rout of the teabagger, but right now the result is more than a little disappointing.

  4. 4.

    MikeJ

    April 6, 2011 at 1:39 am

    For the non-new englanders, that’s pronounced closer to lemon-steer (ok, lemon-stuh) than to leo-minster.

    I hate it when I learn later I’ve been pronouciating stuff wrong like.

  5. 5.

    Suffern ACE

    April 6, 2011 at 1:52 am

    Magane said there was no brawl on the bus. He said the two men were horsing around in the back of the bus when they went through the bathroom door and eventually out the window.

    “There was no fight. They were just fooling around and it was an accident and that was it,” said Magane.

    Horseplay! I bet these guys ran on the deck at the public pool.

  6. 6.

    Yutsano

    April 6, 2011 at 1:56 am

    @MikeJ: You just reminded me I’ll have to bug my Meyer lemon source and see if she’ll ship me a few off her tree. Her housing development used to be an orchard.

  7. 7.

    Sarah, Proud and Tall

    April 6, 2011 at 2:01 am

    They were just fooling around …

    When two drunk men go into the same toilet cubicle, it’s usually not taking a leak they’re thinking about.

    ETA: Or so I’m told.

  8. 8.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    April 6, 2011 at 2:10 am

    @Sarah, Proud and Tall:

    maybe they just couldn’t believe what the other people were wearing on the pub tour bus? or they had someone they needed to say something about, but not in front of you-know who?

    surely there was no room in the tour bus restroom for a wide stance?

  9. 9.

    freelancer

    April 6, 2011 at 2:13 am

    Seriously? I thought BJ had a tag for Wetsuits. I know it’s a header already, but you folk have no tag? Absurd, I say!

  10. 10.

    CaseyL

    April 6, 2011 at 2:14 am

    I’ve been on buses that had bathrooms. They were teeny tiny little closet things, with barely enough room for one person, never mind two. And I don’t think any of them ever had windows.

    What kind of buses are they talking about here, with bathrooms that not only have windows, but windows big enough for an adult to fit through?

  11. 11.

    Yutsano

    April 6, 2011 at 2:14 am

    @freelancer: Nothing regarding the Darwin Awards either. We r slakerz.

  12. 12.

    Warren Terra

    April 6, 2011 at 2:15 am

    Y’know, back when Red Hook was a popular Seattle microbrew that hadn’t sold out to the Budweiser folks it wasn’t in New Hampshire and I don’t think anyone died visiting it …

  13. 13.

    GregB

    April 6, 2011 at 2:21 am

    Peabody is pronounced Pee-Buddy.

  14. 14.

    Anne Laurie

    April 6, 2011 at 2:28 am

    @PeakVT:

    I suppose they could have been desperate enough to take a leak that they would both try to jam themselves into the same tour bus bathroom at the same time.

    According to reports, the window was an emergency exit, hinged at the top & opening at the bottom. I don’t know why the emergency exit would be in the bathroom, either…

  15. 15.

    freelancer

    April 6, 2011 at 2:47 am

    @Yutsano:

    How you be, old friend? I’ve taken a sabbatical from the web as it were, and though lurking still, I find my head a healthier place nonetheless.

  16. 16.

    Sarah, Proud and Tall

    April 6, 2011 at 2:48 am

    @Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal:

    surely there was no room in the tour bus restroom for a wide stance?

    You might be surprised.

  17. 17.

    Yutsano

    April 6, 2011 at 2:52 am

    @freelancer: I’ve resolved to enjoying the forced vacation come Friday night. My manager gathered our phone numbers on Monday for I’m guessing that exact purpose. I may even get a little crazy with the moolah especially since I could collect unemployment.

  18. 18.

    Ogami Itto

    April 6, 2011 at 3:02 am

    As a Leominsterite, I’m always proud when our fine city makes the news. The only bad publicity is no publicity, amirite?

    And the correct pronunciation is “Lemon-stir”, although “Lemin-stah” is also acceptable.

  19. 19.

    freelancer

    April 6, 2011 at 3:09 am

    @Yutsano:

    I may even get a little crazy with the moolah especially since I could collect unemployment.

    Guard it closely. I’ve heard tell that Portal 2, Arkham City, and Rockstar’s launch of dark detective West Coast Americana aka L. A. Noire are due soon. Beyond that, who knows? And anyone looking into the next quarter century, if they’re not beholden to fucktards, we just might could be able to keep some semblance of society functioning and or operable. THAT’S a MIGHTY BIG “IF”, THOUGH.

  20. 20.

    Martin

    April 6, 2011 at 3:13 am

    @Yutsano: When I was furloughed last year I tried to make the most of it as well. Might I suggest that you gather your associates together and do a free rusty pitchfork audit of Paul Ryan?

  21. 21.

    Yutsano

    April 6, 2011 at 3:17 am

    @Martin: As I will technically no longer be constrained by the limitations of the Hatch Act, I may just embrace my inner DFH. Or go to Canada for a few days. Both have appeal.

    @freelancer: I’m actually a pretty damn cheap bastard with a few notable exceptions (it’s tough out there being a foodie) so I’m not too concerned about myself. My co-workers, though, they could be in a serious world of hurt if this gets too ridiculous.

  22. 22.

    Anne Laurie

    April 6, 2011 at 3:39 am

    @Ogami Itto:

    As a Leominsterite, I’m always proud when our fine city makes the news. The only bad publicity is no publicity, amirite?

    As someone who deliberately bought a house in WOO-bin, just down the block from the old W.R. Grace headquarters, fair warning: Be careful what you wish for.

  23. 23.

    Ian Preston

    April 6, 2011 at 6:07 am

    @MikeJ:

    For the non-new englanders, that’s pronounced closer to lemon-steer (ok, lemon-stuh) than to leo-minster.

    @Ogami Itto:

    And the correct pronunciation is “Lemon-stir”, although “Lemin-stah” is also acceptable.

    I presume it’s named after the Herefordshire town on the Welsh border which is pronounced simply Lem-ster over here. Get rid of that superfluous syllable, folks.

  24. 24.

    Bill

    April 6, 2011 at 6:25 am

    I just fired up my newsreader, only to find that Balloon Juice now has only a partial feed. Much sadness here in Thailand! Your RSS feed loads in a few seconds; loading your page takes several minutes, probably due to something the idiots who control the Internet here did.

    Any chance we can get the full feed turned back on?

  25. 25.

    henqiguai

    April 6, 2011 at 7:15 am

    @Ogami Itto (#18):

    As a Leominsterite, I’m always proud when our fine city makes the news. The only bad publicity is no publicity, amirite?
    __
    And the correct pronunciation is “Lemon-stir”, although “Lemin-stah” is also acceptable.

    Actually, according to one of the EMTs it was on Rte. 2 more in Lancaster than Shirley, still a few miles short of (not being a native New Englander, it’s pronounced) Leo-minster. And given that they did a Life Flight evac, it definitely couldn’t have been that far west on the highway; too many trees.

    Oh, and that’s “Pee-body”; and “Wor-cester”.

  26. 26.

    Redshirt

    April 6, 2011 at 9:19 am

    I can hear the cries of “MURRRRRRRPH” from here.

  27. 27.

    Kilkee

    April 6, 2011 at 9:50 am

    @henqiguai: Woo-stah or Wus-tah, more or less. And god, please, there’s no “H” in there, so it’s not Wor-chester. Also, Quincy is Quinn-zee. Finally, am I correct that Leominster is the home of the first pink flamingo lawn ornament?

  28. 28.

    henqiguai

    April 6, 2011 at 10:37 am

    @Kilkee (#27):

    Finally, am I correct that Leominster is the home of the first pink flamingo lawn ornament?

    Yep, or so they claim. As well as the home of John Tremaine (shaky memory; that is Johnny Appleseed, right?). Oh, and the past center of plastics production in the region; now just a memory.

    I would crack about why don’t these people learn to speak, but ah’m a suuth’ner, y’all, so who am I to talk trash ?

  29. 29.

    Redshirt

    April 6, 2011 at 10:44 am

    @henqiguai: Johnny Tremaine is the young Apprentice who had the unfortunate crucible accident during the revolutionary war.

  30. 30.

    henqiguai

    April 6, 2011 at 11:10 am

    @Redshirt:
    Yep, you’re correct. Should’a been John Chapman (as they say, google is your friend). So why is Tremaine’s name stuck in my head ? I’m not a Civil Revolutionary War buff…

  31. 31.

    Kevin

    April 6, 2011 at 11:34 am

    @CaseyL: Exactly what I was wondering.

  32. 32.

    Tonybrown74

    April 6, 2011 at 11:35 am

    I want everyone to know that I will no longer be going on “dates”. They will now be referred to “rough houses” …

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