Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Bark louder, little dog.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

“But what about the lurkers?”

The willow is too close to the house.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Consistently wrong since 2002

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

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64Comments

  1. 1.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    In news from the state next door, King John I of Ohio was in Cincinnati today, where he told reporters that Haley Barbour has been a good friend to him, and that’s who will have his support should the large confederate cracker seek the GOP nomination.

  4. 4.

    zach

    Over at The Corner, Andy McCarthy points us to this article about a disturbing trend in Holder’s DOJ including this misdeed: “Other bizarre cases have come out of the Holder Civil Rights Division. DOJ stopped the debut of the Amazon Kindle because it was not in Braille.”

  5. 5.

    R-Jud

    Allergies. Feh.

    Yep. You, me, and the Bean. She’s significantly less cuddly when her nose is a spigot of hot running snot.

  6. 6.

    geg6

    I am ashamed to admit this, but I never heard of Bill Hicks until I started frequenting BJ. But having seen a bunch of clips of him posted here, I am pissed that I missed out on the man before he died. But I noticed that OnDemand has a new documentary available under “Same Day As Theaters” called “American: The Bill Hicks Story.”. I am thinking of spending the $6.99 to watch it. Advice pro or con, anyone?

  8. 8.

    Moonbatting Average

    @geg6: The DVD I have is “Bill Hicks Live – Satirist, Social Critic, Stand-Up Comedian”, and it’s awesome. It’s essentially three shows; his “breakout” in Montreal, another in Chicago, and an amazing set at the Dominion Theater (Theatre?)in London.

    I haven’t seen “American: The Bill Hicks Story.”, but I can’t imagine that you’d be disappointed

  9. 9.

    dan

    I just saw last night – EVERY EPISODE OF CHEERS ON NETFLIX!!!! I know what I am going to be doing for the next month. I heard their getting Frasier too. Cool. If they can get New Christine, happy happy!

  13. 13.

    Dennis SGMM

    @freelancer:
    Never mind that the technologies used to produce touch screens and the technologies used to generate braille on the fly are very difficult to combine at present.

    Nevertheless, I sense another “Obama’s teleprompter” moment.

  15. 15.

    DonkeyKong

    I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, “What’s wrong?” Nothing. “Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.” Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone? – who said this, Bill Hicks or John Cole?

  16. 16.

    Mnemosyne

    I never used to have allergies, but whatever is blooming right now just needs to fucking stop already. Today’s pollen count is bad enough that I woke up with a migraine from the sinus pressure.

  17. 17.

    Kewalo

    I have something I’d like to discuss and since this thread is still manageable here goes. It’s about SS.

    When Bush first started trying to privatize SS I decided to look into it. I read everything I could and scoured the SS website. It was fascinating and I learned a lot. I’m still shocked to this day that more people don’t seem to know a damn thing about it. And here we go again.

    Here are some real facts.

    In 1983 SS was going broke. Reagan put together a committee to make sure that SS would be there when the boomers retired. They raised FICA and immediately started taking in an excess. That continued until just recently. The government, by law, cannot just take the money. So they’ve borrowed it and used treasury bonds as collateral and SS collects interest. There is plenty of money to last until 2037. NOTHING NEEDS TO BE DONE NOW. It’s just BS from those that would like to see it gone or do not want those folks who earn over $200,000 to pay the same percentage that you and I do.

    And here’s some info on raising the age limit.

    “If we look at life expectancy statistics from the 1930s we might come to the conclusion that the Social Security program was designed in such a way that people would work for many years paying in taxes, but would not live long enough to collect benefits. Life expectancy at birth in 1930 was indeed only 58 for men and 62 for women, and the retirement age was 65. But life expectancy at birth in the early decades of the 20th century was low due mainly to high infant mortality, and someone who died as a child would never have worked and paid into Social Security. A more appropriate measure is probably life expectancy after attainment of adulthood.”

    http://www.ssa.gov/history/lifeexpect.html

    It’s almost total BS that we are living that much longer. And hard physical labor still wears our bodies out.

    What I would like to do is get a group of people together to try and educate the talking heads, like Cooper, Behar, and others. If you have any suggestions on what I might do let me know, I’d really appreciate it. It really makes me nauseated to hear some of the BS I keep hearing from the people on TV who are so uneducated.

  18. 18.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    NPR had a story about ABC cancelling All My Children. The show gets about three million viewers a day, with an average age of IIRC 56. It struck me those numbers sound a lot like FoxNews numbers. Their best numbers.

  20. 20.

    Gravenstone

    Might’ve missed this in an earlier thread, if so, apologies. It seems like the AZ legislature isn’t content with the idiocy that is their Long Form Birth Certificate requirement to get on their ballot. Some bright spark decided to provide male politicians with the chance to prove they’ve been circumcised as some wingnut means of verifying they were American citizens. Apparently no other country in the whole wide world visits ritual genital mutilation on their male infants. **rolls eyes**

  21. 21.

    kdaug

    Hope you bowed your head when invoking the Hicks. (‘Course, I’ll expect the same for Richards, Ivans, and – when his time comes – Hightower).

  23. 23.

    Southern Beale

    Apparently they took this global opinion survey and found falling public support for capitalism except, in all places, China:

    This is most marked in the country that used to epitomise free enterprise. In 2002, 80% of Americans agreed that the world’s best bet was the free-market system. By 2010 that support had fallen to 59%, only a little above the 54% average for the 25 countries polled. Nominally Communist China is now one of the world’s strongest supporters of capitalism, at 68%, up from 66% in 2002. Brazil scores 68% too. Germany squeaks into top place with 69%.
    __
    France, one of the world’s strongest economies, continues as an anti-capitalist outlier. Only 6% of French “strongly” support the free market, down from an already puny 8% in 2002. Add those who “somewhat agree” with capitalism’s superiority and the figure is 30%, down from 42% in 2002. Turkey (another free-market success story) had the same level of support then, but it has dropped even lower, to a mere 27%. In Europe only Spain seems to buck the trend, rising from 37% in 2002 to 51% . Indians, on paper big winners from free-market reforms, appear unimpressed: support has dropped to 58% from 73%.
    __
    Capitalism’s waning fortunes are starkly visible among Americans earning below $20,000. Their support for the free market has dropped from 76% to 44% in just one year. The research was conducted by GlobeScan, a polling firm. Its chairman Doug Miller says American business is “close to losing its social contract” with average families.

  24. 24.

    geg6

    @Moonbatting Average:

    Do you know if that one is on Netflix? I may want to watch the doc, but I would also like to see good examples of his work. I love a good comedian more than almost any other entertainment.

  26. 26.

    MikeJ

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: While I’m no fan of soaps, they are a great stepping stone for young actors who get to perform every day. The fans they have left love them, and what will they be replaced with? Some bleach blonde reading facebook updates?

    Soaps are dirt cheap to produce and I don’t see any better ideas coming out of nyetwork tv.

  28. 28.

    Mark S.

    Ramesh Ponnuru writes two pages of bullshit defending the Ryan plan. I’m pretty sure every sentence in it is a lie. For example:

    But that has nothing to do with whether Ryan’s plan reduces the debt as he says it will. The plan’s projections for debt reduction do not assume that any extra revenue comes in from higher economic growth. The CBO applies the same economic assumptions to Ryan’s plan that it applies when making projections about Obama’s budget and current law.

    Not entirely accurate:

    But the CBO only shows this result because it is assuming that the government will raise 19 percent of gross domestic product (GDP) in revenue. Why is the CBO assuming that? Because Ryan’s staff told it to, without indicating how that revenue would actually be raised

  30. 30.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @MikeJ: I think NPR said there will be three daytime soaps on TV after this cancellation. It’s a helluva cultural shift.

    One of the shows replacing the ABC shows will be a show about food called…. “Chew”. I can’t think of a less appetizing name for a show aimed at foodies

  31. 31.

    Amir_Khalid

    @Gravenstone:

    Two things occurred to me:

    1) Are these people aware that all us Muslim boys are circumcised, while many Christian ones are not?

    2) Would a woman candidate be expected to comply with this rule? (Kidding.)

  32. 32.

    Violet

    @Gravenstone:

    Some bright spark decided to provide male politicians with the chance to prove they’ve been circumcised as some wingnut means of verifying they were American citizens.

    Obama’s dad was a member of the Luo tribe in Kenya. The Luos are the second largest tribe and one of the few in Kenya that don’t circumcise. There’s more to the circumcision issue than just some weird fascination with foreskins.

  33. 33.

    Violet

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Even worse, it’s going to be called “The Chew.” So they’ll have The View and The Chew. UGH.

    I suspect ratings will be low, but since they’ll be very cheap to produce, they might be more cost effective.

    There are a lot of soap fans and a lot of potential soap fans, judging from the numbers that watch telenovelas. The networks just haven’t figured out how to capture the audience and keep them. And do so in a way that makes money for the network.

  34. 34.

    MikeJ

    Jesus fuck, do we have to wander back into sully territory with the whole foreskin thing?

  35. 35.

    Dennis SGMM

    @stuckinred:
    Crap! George and Gracie were staples of my childhood (I actually go back to Uncle Milty and Sid Caesar) and “Have Gun, Will Travel” was my fave while in High School. They also show “Have Gun…” on FLIXW daily.
    I may have to reconsider Netflix just for the aforementioned.

  39. 39.

    PurpleGirl

    @Gravenstone: Arizona: The Me.th State. Yup. The stupid. It burns.

    So they made some amendments: if you can’t find your birth certificate, and you have a pe*is, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice.

    A circumcision certificate — a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony — is not a legal document (see an example of one here) but if you have one, under the amended bill, it’s apparently enough to prove you’re a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona.

    Ah, one point… how do you distinguish an American Jew from an Israeli?

  40. 40.

    Amir_Khalid

    @Violet: Barack Sr was raised Muslim by a father who converted to the faith, so it is in fact likely that he was circumcised.

    In any case, the notion that election authorities anywhere would expect a candidate to attest, in writing, that Mr Happy is not wearing his hat is a truly sublime example of weirdness. I salute the legislators of Arizona.

  42. 42.

    Suffern ACE

    @Gravenstone: I assumed that that got in there so that Jews wouldn’t sue, since they’re also allowing baptism certificates as proof. You know, they want to be inclusive and all. That said, I’m wondering if the Baptists, who don’t practice infant baptism, aren’t going to end up challenging the law.

  46. 46.

    Dennis SGMM

    @stuckinred:
    Oh yes. How about “Mister Lucky” or “I married Joan” starring Joan Davis and Richard Backus?

    I am so effing old.

  48. 48.

    stuckinred

    @Dennis SGMM: I Married Joan DVD, no Mr Lucky, Peter Gunn (except the movie) no M Squad or Naked City (except the movie too)! Did you know Blake Edwards did Peter Gunn?

  52. 52.

    almostaquantum

    Pardon this kausoidomy, but Bill Hicks standup is awful.

    As much as I sympathize with his worldview, listening to him is gritting teeth while the local doofus Tells It Like It Is. I’m sure that part of the problem is that we’ve since internalized a lot of his schtick, but…Leary’s standup is impossible for the same (larcenous, sanitized) reason.

    No.

  53. 53.

    Dennis SGMM

    @stuckinred:
    Oh yeah. Peter Gunn was another fave. Did you know that Mary Tyler Moore was the leggy (Actually legs only) secretary in that show?

  54. 54.

    Duncan Dönitz (formerly Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Ron Christie is the cross-eyed guy, right? He does look like a psychopath. And considering that he’s a Republican shill, he must be at least a sociopath, which puts him well on his way to being a full psychopath. He just needs to hang out more with Jon Kyl, who spends his off-time beating homeless people with the severed arm of his daughter, whom he killed and ate in 1979 (not meant to be a factual statement).

  55. 55.

    Dennis SGMM

    Okay, in my bid to be the oldest fucker on Balloon Juice, can anyone besides me remember who closed his show with “Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are?”

  56. 56.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Dennis, we can get you some Abercrombie & Fitch tees and update yer haircut a little but it ain’t gonna do any good if you keep talking about the 1800’s.

  58. 58.

    tomvox1

    Thanks to Hicks, I can never think of a Snickers the same way again. Or about a million other things…including Denis Leary.

  60. 60.

    Dennis SGMM

    @Just Some Fuckhead:
    Ya’ gimme a LOL.
    @Duncan Dönitz (formerly Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
    You nailed it. My teevee watching started in 1950 when a apck of neighborhood breathless kids sat in front of a console the size of a chest of drawers and watched “Kukla, Fran and Ollie” on a round eight inch screen. After that the thing was unavailable to us for four years. Dad was in the Navy and because what he worked with would clear out a medium-sized city we often found ourselves reliant on books and the radio.

  61. 61.

    Jay in Oregon

    I love Bill Hicks and wish I’d gotten to see him before he died, but if he hadn’t died of cancer, I’m pretty sure the 8 years of Bush the Lesser would have killed him.

    It was all of the bullshit that he railed about, turned up to 11.

  64. 64.

    Xenocrates

    Can some one please help me out here? I’ve been watching Presidential elections for quite a few years now, and this is the first time I remember anyone questioning the President’s eligibility to hold the office. Hmmmm, just WHAT is it that’s so different about Mr. Obama? Let me think….and yes, Mrs. Calabash was Durante’s sign-off; I vaguely remember reading that there was a question as to who exactly she was. Some said his mother, other’s a long-lost love…OK, and as far as old TV? “Love That Bob”? Hold it, I think you’re gonna like this picture! Or “The People’s Choice”? Jackie Cooper and a talking basset hound named Cleo? Gahd, I AM old….

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