James Inhofe’s aerial hijinks — and the lack of contrition and repercussions — put me in mind of this question that Atrios asked a few weeks ago:
In our glorious neo-feudal era it’s unlikely that any of our elites will ever be held accountable for much, but I’m curious about how far this extends. What if, say, John Roberts got liquored up, plowed through an elementary school playground, killed few kids, then drove off in view of several surveillance cameras. What happens?
My guess would be a lot of Village support for him — he made a mistake, he’s not like a criminal or a junkie! — and a slap on the wrist.
Loneoak
There’s a tipping point between Village support and Village glee at a scandal. I’m pretty sure that the Roberts scenario would flip into the latter.
The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik
Obviously the ‘kids’ were midget plants that the Teachers Union put there as sacrificial lambs to further their Soshulizt Union Horrors as well as take down the most honorable Chief Justice we’ve ever paid fo-er…had.
dr. bloor
Slap in the wrist in criminal court. Then the SCOTUS would retroactively declare public education unconstitutional by a 5-4 vote, rendering the victims as trespassers on private property and therefore lacking any standing to file a civil suit against Roberts.
DavidNC
now that’s just silly.
piratedan
well first off, we’d have to prosecute the bartender and the establishment that continued to serve the Judge, despite knowing full well that they could turning a potential killer loose on the streets. It will uncover a Democratic conspiracy so vast and heinous that will be linked to the liberal media and their win at all costs strategies as they would have indoctrinated these grass roots people out there under the guise of performing “menial tasks” to simply allow these folks to “do as they wish” to subtly ease them over the edge. Once these “facts” come to light, the Chief Justice would be exonerated and the true culprits brought to heel.
scav
aren’t kids merely leaches upon the body economic? and they may have been infected with the cooties indoctrinated by the unionized communistic Kenyan science-believing teachers so it was better and safer to spare the world their ebil ebil influences. oh, and they may not have been properly pale.
‘sides, only low-lifes allow their offspring within sight of a road so . . . no harm no foul.
Jay C
Well, my guess would be immediate resignation, and a quick trip off to Detox Mansion for a nice long stint in rehab. Jail? Probably not – though I think your snark-o-matic is adjusted a little high when it comes to The Village making “allowances”: but I think a RL scenario like Atrios posited would be beyond-the-pale even for our sorry sad-ass Washington media.
It’s not the same as Sen. Inhofe’s cockup, though: not that “situational ethics” are always right; but I’m sure that if it was just plain Jim Mountain from Tulsa who pulled those stunts, as opposed to The Honorable Senator Inhofe, he’d be doing most of his flying from behind a desk for a good long while. But: since there was no damage actually done, he’s going to get a pass.
I forget who posted it, but I think of the commenters here had the best suggestion as to how the “media” might spin Sen. Inhofe’s aerial maneuvers:
corwin
That would really go too far for anyone to actually ignore, but the village would spin it thusly:
Fox News would put a (D) after his name, the village would go on all the TV shows saying he was such a liberal, he would be forced to resign, prosecuted, and then the village would come back on saying that Obama should nominate a ‘centrist’ candidate (meaning just to the right of Scalia) to heal the nation and put this incident behind us. Never let a good scandal go to waste in order to hippy punch.
John Cole
What color are the kids? Are they Christian or Muslim? Who are their parents? Are they immigrants?
I wish I were kidding, but you kind of need to know before you can really gauge the village reaction.
gbear
Well, he did lose the airport runway maintenance worker vote. That’ll cost him.
PIGL
Seriously, all hyperbole aside, the main point is that the famous “a dead girl and a live boy” criteria would no longer be enough if the culprit were an important Gooper. I think that’s clear.
Culture of Truth
I want to be mad, but he’s just so adorable!
"Serious" Superluminar
You’re trying to troll eemom again, right?
soonergrunt
I think your scenario goes a bit far. We can count on Dickie Cohen to explain to all of us great unwashed how it’s really different for the Washington elite and anyone who says different is a bully.
sukabi
@John Cole: you forgot THE MOST IMPORTANT determinant — were their parents WEALTHY… that would be the first priority… wealthy, pale complexion and from the “right social group”… that’s the only demographic that would raise their ire… every other scenario would get a “shit happens” type of shrug.
merrinc
What happens? We would hear about Ted Kennedy and Chappaquiddick multiple times a day, every single day. Oh, and John Roberts – who is he? Is he that Democrat who ran for president while cheating on his cancer-stricken wife?
johnsmith1882
The market demands that those kids be run over. C’mon, elementary school kids? Public school probably, leeching off the public teat, should be at work anyway, oiling the gears of industry.
Cliff
At least one Village voice would declare that they are shocked (shocked!) that things had come to this point, and how could our society have degraded so badly, and maybe we should have stuck with the Prohibition…and then said Village voice would never mention this again, their journalistic duty having been fulfilled.
JasonF
What if Bob Novak had health problems that so impaired his ability to drive that he wound up hitting a bicyclist and driving off?
MikeJ
Actually the penalty Inhofe got was pretty much what anybody would have gotten for the same thing. What makes it infuriating was his lack of remorse and publicly stating that he never checks for Notices to Airmen before flying.
I find it mind boggling that there exist people who wouldn’t dream of driving to the airport without checking a traffic report will then fly away from that airport without checking for problems that will affect their flight.
He certainly wouldn’t take off without checking the weather. While sitting at the same computer it takes mere seconds to check the NOTAMs.
Stillwater
@John Cole: I still say no. The Village would rally to prevent a crisis of accountability which could only lead to bad things for both themselves and the stratified society they love.
MattF
Well, if it happened in Bethesda, he’d be dead meat.
Woodrowfan
Most of the Village would publicly ignore it because he’s “the right kind of person.”
Allan
Well, perhaps if the reason Roberts was distracted was that Clarence Thomas was in the front seat giving him his daily blow-job,there might be consequences. For Thomas.
OzoneR
Oh of course he would resign and we would hear “both sides do it” and we would hear about how President Obama has to do “the right thing” and appoint a new Chief Justice just as conservative.
existential fish
Well it’d be an American care. so therefore Obama’s fault.
MikeJ
@sukabi: I think you’ve hit it. If they had wealthy parents, there might be a problem for Roberts. If not we hear about how these monkey children are always running around in the street practically begging to be hit. Maybe this will keep them out of the street.
Notice how I cleverly moved the site of the incident from the playground to the street. The first report on Fox News would say they were unsure what the children were doing where he was driving, and after that it would become a known “fact” that the kids were in the street, not the car in the playground. If you pointed out where it happened wingnuts would point to curb cuts for wheelchairs and say that those are just like driveway entrances and therefore the playground was legally a road. And then declare that all wheelchair access devices are inherently unsafe and lead to more deaths than they prevent.
That all sounds insane, but I can very easily see all of that being argued by pretty much any Republican you’ll ever see on TV.
existential fish
Well it’d be an American car. so therefore Obama’s fault.
existential fish
And my computer still posts everything twice. Blergh. It’s a mac, I blame Steve Jobs.
geg6
I have come to the conclusion that we have reached the point where there is literally nothing a member of the Village can do that won’t be ignored or, at worst, excused by the other Villagers, with the exceptions of any and all Democrats. The Media, pundits especially, and Republicans could be caught with the corpses of teenage girls rotting in trunks in the closets of their homes and it would be the teenage girls’ fault. And I do not believe I am exaggeratting to any great degree here. An illustrative example is the difference between the career trajectories of Gary Condit and Joe Scarborough.
piratedan
@geg6: I do believe I agree with you, for the latest confirmation of the “new normal” see Ensign, John
Mark S.
Charles Lane travels to China, talks to a lady on a bus, and declares China’s high speed rail a disaster.
I would imagine that would be the case for nearly any infrastructure, even our beloved airlines that have never needed bailouts in their long, glorious history. I sometimes wonder if conservatives like Lane think that highways and airports are free, because they never subject those to the same cost benefit analysis.
Villago Delenda Est
@Stillwater:
Which is why when The Revolution comes, the vermin of the Village are among the very first to be put up against the wall.
Alex S.
Well… in this scenario Roberts would have to resign. But then it gets difficult since the conservative majority on the Supreme Court would be in danger. And there would be enormous pressure to nominate a conservative out of fairness. Only the Clintons and maybe the Evan Bayhs of the Democratic Party would survive the confirmation hearings.
Joey Maloney
@MikeJ:
I don’t think so. It’s the lightest possible penalty he could have been assessed. According to my dad who’s been a private pilot for nearly 30 years – also supported by some guy named James Fallows, maybe someone here has heard of him – most anyone else would’ve gotten a “section 709”, essentially requiring them to re-earn their flight certification in a fairly adversarial process.
Villago Delenda Est
@Mark S.:
ARRRGH!
Assholes like Lane, who obviously know NOTHING about history…that corporations were formed, initially, to raise capital from many individuals to take on a project that would not have an immediate ROI, but would have an ROI over time, because the upfront costs were tremendous, and, furthermore, the ROI itself was not by any means guaranteed, so they wanted to limit their liablity.
Twits like Lane need to be slapped, repeatedly, with clue by fours. Until they get one.
ruemara
Heh, we’re already chattel. A Republican could mow down a schoolyard of the right demographic of children and face little to no consequences besides a bad headline. Americans seem to enjoy being spat on by their betters. Why else do so many principled conservatives go into office proclaiming that they only seek 2 terms and then stick around forever? The power, the prestige and the lack of consequence.
aimai
@Mark S.:
That was the basic definition of the railways, as well as roads and air infrastructure. All of that stuff took borrowing, government intervention, and years of tax breaks and givebacks and government support until they became profitable for *someone*–not the taxpayers, of course. The ordinary railroads across the US were built with giveaways in the form of rights-of-way, sales of property along the rights of way, and military intervention to clear the indigenous population out of the way (as well as to enforce laws relating to the trains along the way). Plus, also, too the entire set of laws and police actions used to enforce railroad interests over and above that of the immigrant chinese who built the damned things.
aimai
MikeJ
@Joey Maloney: I got my info from here.
geg6
@piratedan:
Exactly. Clinton gets a blowjob and that’s impeachable and worthy of wasting enormous amounts of money, time, effort and a complete halt to any pretense of governing in order to
persecuteprosecute him and Ensign walks away with no consequences or recriminations from anyone in the Village after having a years-long affair with his “best” friend and employee’s wife, bribing them both with jobs, and, when that didn’t work, making his parents pay them off with hush money. The Villagers are saddened by Ensign’s situation, but only sad because he got caught and they couldn’t sweep it completely under the carpet, not that he’s a stupid douche who barely qualifies as a human being.Stillwater
@Villago Delenda Est: The first thing we must do is kill all the
lawyersVillagers.Kirk Spencer
@Mark S.: the simple fact everyone ignores is that ALL major transportation methods are either heavily subsidized by government spending OR they’re not-so-good.
Airlines are subsidized. Interstates are government owned and maintained or, if “private” toll roads get taxpayer money, too. Our railways get some taxpayer money as well.
But inevitably, “government shouldn’t be involved. If it can’t make a profit on its own let it go away.”
Scott Supak
I guess it depends on how rich the parents of the children he mowed down were.
lllphd
just more of the hypocrisy on display.
all through the bush years, it seemed clear that bush would remain teflon-armored even if he was caught in bed with a black 9 year old boy held at gunpoint in a bed of poppy petals and cocaine dust.
Villago Delenda Est
@lllphd:
I often said during the malassministration of the deserting coward, that if he was seen, in full view of network news cameras, molesting a 3 year old boy on the White House lawn during the Easter Egg Roll, it would not raise so much as an eyebrow amongst the vermin of the Village.
danimal
@OzoneR: @Alex S.: Agreed. Only because the example is so horrendous.
If a conservative jurist dies or resigns, there is NO WAY that Obama will be able to seat a liberal nominee. The confirmation will be filibustered for two-six years instead. Only 60 Dem votes (and even that may not be enough) will be enough to see a liberal replacement get confirmed to the SCOTUS.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
“john roberts is a moderate on abortion”
satsq.
Calouste
You do know that Scalia caused a four car pile up driving to work and got away with a $70 fine?
shortstop
@MikeJ:
Seems to be some disagreement about that among folks at the FAA.
maya
Not even. Pinky tap is more like it.
But… speaking of the Supreme Court Republicans Of The United States, is it really possible that these 5 capos are making all those financially lucrative decisions on behalf of the Corporate Cartel for the measely $223.5k,(Chief Justice) and $213.9 salary they are paid? Bullshit. I smell the breeze of off shore numbered accounts, most likely in Dubai, located in an bunkerbank under the Halliburton Hotel. Seriously.
01jack
I doubt Roberts would resign, but I’m sure Rep. Joe Barton and Harry Whittington would both apologize to him.
burnspbesq
@maya:
The only thing serious here is that you are seriously an ass. Be thankful that the United States has the most plaintiff-unfriendly libel laws on earth.
kuvasz
Don’t mean to go all John Brown, but I don’t expect much to change until the economic elite begin to feel threatened if they pursue their current behavior. You don’t simply expect these people to change by being asked “pretty please, act like a mensch,” do you? We live in a new time, and embracing bourgeois affectations might make you feel good, but it will not fill your belly. Considering the state of the economy, I am surprised that some folks haven’t gone all Baader-Meinhof on the Wall Street Masters of the Universe.
But, I bet it is going to start soon.
JP Stormcrow
@01jack: but I’m sure Rep. Joe Barton and Harry Whittington would both apologize to him.
Don’t forget Dick Durbin!
JP Stormcrow
In the case of the alleged Roberts incident, some “liberal” pundit or politician would say something a bit intemperate (or merely point out that Roberts was a conservative or appointed by Bush) and the story would become how awful it was that the Liberals were politicizing the tragic death of children and making Mrs. Alito cry.
JP Stormcrow
And with Roberts there is a more likely scenario that would result in loss of control of a motor vehicle per his seizures in 1993 and 2007. A Very different situation, of course. (I assume he did the “no driving for 12 months” thing in 2007–I think I recall that.)
maya
@burnspbesq: Is my speculation no less valid than those of the Birthers, the Clinton’s and Vince Foster and anything coming out of FOX news? The very idea that these 5 guys base their decisions on the spurious idea that that is what the original intent of the Constitution was about the protection of the rights of Corporations, in many cases, over the rights of individuals is what is mind-blowingly assine. Fuck off.
El Cid
Chief Justice Roberts could not be held responsible, since he would have been drunk at the time. Clearly he wouldn’t have been in a state of mind to make good decisions.
El Cid
@maya: It’s not impossible; but the scarier aspect is that they are even more likely willing to do these things from sheer class identification and authoritarian feudalist outlook alone.
At least it would make more sense in a practical way if they were being directly paid off. They might do evil, but there’d be a clear quid pro quo direct benefit from it.
The US power elite system governed overwhelmingly by class domination over time does involve a lot of people getting money directly, but that isn’t how the entire mechanism reproduces itself.
Besides, lots of times the incentives to sway, say, politicians, is not payment right now, but the assurance (and prior observed examples) that even beyond getting super-lavish ‘speaking fees’ and whatever, it’s pretty likely that a political figure truly helpful to the corporate / super-rich classes can count on having a plum position on corporate boards, maybe if time-appropriate a gig lobbying, on some high-paying ‘think tank’ gigs, or high and well-compensated positions on upper-class backed cultural institutions.
Our system of class rule (again, overwhelmingly, but not perfectly and dominating each and ever development) is a lot cleverer than simple direct payoffs. Though those certainly happen a whole helluvalot.
maya
@El Cid: Did the IRS ever get, much less, publish, that list of probably not so young and not so buckish hoarders of cash in USB? I see what you are saying, but, you know, especially in this day and age of economic and authoritarian upheaval, having a tidy nest egg squirreled away in some exotic land for that rainy day is not too preposterous a bucket list item for those that never have enough of everything. Only martyrs are pure ideologues.
Fred
I would like to add an addendum to this John Roberts hypothetic. After being stopped by the cops they found a dead hooker in the trunk.
Ok, carry on!
NaveenM
I’m sure everyone in the Village would agree with you. The problem is everyone in the Village realizes all of the problems with the Village mentality and general way of doing business — they just don’t think they’re part of the Village, or that they’re an exception to the rule.
BTW, if John Roberts did do something like this the Village idiots would think this was an unfortunate accident, and clearly he didn’t intend to hurt anyone, so we shouldn’t invade his privacy while grieves with his family and sits in suffering.
Meanwhile, a homeless woman in Connecticut is threatened with prosecution and 20 years in jail because she enrolled her kid in a public school. No, seriously.
Jay in Oregon
@NaveenM:
Where other cases have just been handled by sending the child to a school in the right district, they’re choosing to throw the book at his mother. It’s worth noting, too, that the woman who lived at the address they used, and who babysits the kid during the day, has been evicted as a result.
Her mistake was that she tried to rise above her station and enroll her kid in a better-performing school in another district (albeit one where she and her son lived at least part of the time). She didn’t get the memo that the Land of Opportunity is closed.
maya
A long time friend lost his houseboat several years ago because the owners of the pier it was docked at kept shortening the pier thereby destabilizing it during a remodel. A wind storm finished off what was left of it and the attached ropes pulled his boat down. Total loss. He went out to look for legal representation for damages not covered by his homeowner’s policy. Several thousands of $$$. A legal firm was contracted with, on contingency basis, as he was told he had a very strong case. The suit dragged on for over three years getting nowhere. Then he had a stroke which put him in the hospital for 6 months. During that time and lacking complete awareness because of the stroke, his firm’s assigned lawyer notified him by letter that they were dropping out of the suit.[A long established practice of these large legal firms is to give these sucker cases to their newest junior members, just for the experience. But then at some point,a consensus decision is reached to cut bait.] He immediately got hit with a $20k lawsuit for accrued expenses from the opposing side’s legal firm. He was oblivious to that also because of his condition. That legal firm won their case against him simply because he was unable to respond and make the court appearance. A walk-over.
So when I hear from lawyers, such as our own beloved burnspb,esquire, coming strongly to the defence, from hypotheticals or theories, of this corrupted legal system of ours the only conclusion I can arrive at is that these guys must take some blood oath upon getting their licence, or passing the bar, which also requires them to join The Protective Benevolent Brotherhood of the Law with the bestowed upon awesome knowledge of its secret handshake, among other privileges we could only guess at.
In short, would burnspb,esq take on the case of suing the original legal firm that my friend got screwed over by? I think the answer would be fairly straightforward and simple: HAHAHAHAHA!