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You are here: Home / Different From You

Different From You

by John Cole|  April 23, 20112:14 pm| 78 Comments

This post is in: I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own

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Apparently this is another perk of being in Congress:

Jon Kyl’s statement that 90 percent of Planned Parenthood’s activities are related to abortion — which drew mockery when he explained it was “not intended to be a factual statement” — has been stricken from the Congressional Record.

I bet we all had the magic of Congressional do-overs. Personally, I would like to strike the statement “I think that blouse makes you look fat” from the record. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking in 1992 when I told my gf that. Quite clearly I was not calling her fat, but instead stating the blouse made her look fat, but something got lost in the translation and she was not interested in nuance. I’d also like to remove my peak wingnut theory from 2008, because that shit just didn’t turn out as expected.

Did you know that peak wingnut is in the urban dictionary?

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Reader Interactions

78Comments

  1. 1.

    The Dangerman

    April 23, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    In a YouTube environment, this may qualify as a waste of time and effort. Nice try, though.

  2. 2.

    JGabriel

    April 23, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    John Cole:

    Personally, I would like to strike the statement “I think that blouse makes you look fat” from the record.

    I’d like a new record. Can I go back to my conception and say, “Hey, let’s maybe wait another ten, fifteen, twenty-five years before being born? I mean, seriously, I don’t want to see the 70’s again.”

    .

  3. 3.

    Served

    April 23, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    Can’t someone else just go up there and say “Back when Senator Jon Kyl claimed that Planned Parenthood etc. etc. and had it removed from the record…” and it’s back in, essentially?

  4. 4.

    KG

    April 23, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    Actually, I’d rather have the power to “amend and revise” to add things like “you stupid motherfucking asswipe” to the end of statements in polite company. That’d be much more useful.

    Nope, see, I called him an asshole.

  5. 5.

    kerFuFFler

    April 23, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    They should have to keep whatever has been edited out of the congressional record in parentheses the way so many bloggers do.

  6. 6.

    PurpleGirl

    April 23, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    Back when I was doing my BA in political science, circa 1970, one professor told us NOT to use the Congressional Record as a primary source precisely because speeches and remarks on the floor could be changed. Material could also be added after the fact. If you wanted something to use as a primary source of congressional commentary, you used the Congressional Quarterly Weekly Report.

    Changing comments/speeches is an old congressional tradition.

  7. 7.

    Waratah

    April 23, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    Some women understand nuance and have a sense of humor.
    Keep trying John

  8. 8.

    jeffreyw

    April 23, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    Revising and extending my sammich menu.

  9. 9.

    That Other Mike

    April 23, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    Did you know that peak wingnut is in the urban dictionary?

    Don’t knock it, JC. This may be your legacy.

  10. 10.

    Yutsano

    April 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    @jeffreyw: If you start making banh mi I’m moving in.

  11. 11.

    PIGL

    April 23, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    For you, John.

    “Does this sweater make me look fat?”

    “No, the fact that you’re fat makes you look fat. The sweater just makes you look purple.”

  12. 12.

    jeffreyw

    April 23, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    @Yutsano: You get the couch.
    If you want it.

  13. 13.

    Yutsano

    April 23, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    @jeffreyw: Buddy is gonna have to make some room there methinks.

  14. 14.

    Allan

    April 23, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    Ah, so that explains that little moment of deja vu I experienced the other day. /matrix

  15. 15.

    jeffreyw

    April 23, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    @Yutsano: I’ll tie up the dogs.

  16. 16.

    Yutsano

    April 23, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    @jeffreyw: You do realize if I did indeed do that wifey would have a mad jelus. At least I can work just about anywhere in the country. The IRS allows hardship transfers.

  17. 17.

    shortstop

    April 23, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    @Served: I like the cut of your jib.

    Quite clearly I was not calling her fat, but instead stating the blouse made her look fat, but something got lost in the translation and she was not interested in nuance.

    Were you pre-fat in those days? I’m thinking that the answer to this question may throw some light on her reaction. May not, though.

  18. 18.

    Stillwater

    April 23, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    it was “not intended to be a factual statement”

    If that’s the standard, the Congressional Record would be about as long as a Harlequin Romance.

  19. 19.

    joeyess

    April 23, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    I would like a re-do on a record deal I once turned down back in the early ’90s.

  20. 20.

    Jay S

    April 23, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    While altering reality by changing the record is Orwellian, doesn’t it show some sense of error? At least he isn’t clinging to his statement. I’m not sure I’ve seen much of that lately by politicians.

    Granted it would be better if he revised the statement by leaving the original intact and adding the correction, but do we really want people to stand by nonsense when it is pointed out to them?

  21. 21.

    Uncle Clarence Thomas

    April 23, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    .
    .
    If they let him, President Obama would like a do-over to support The People’s Budget instead of the one they forced him to submit.
    .
    .

  22. 22.

    Phoenix

    April 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    I’m quite enthusiastic about the counter to Peak Wingnut, that we are actually seeing the Wingularity. Someone else used the term in a comment before but can’t recall.

    Instead of declining in power their ethos is now too advanced and it will be impossible to keep up with the Shibboleths and conspiracy theories as they develop until the Wingnut theories gain sentience themselves and advance to a different plane of existence, hopefully leaving us alone.

  23. 23.

    jeffreyw

    April 23, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    @Yutsano: Damn, that’s right…yer a revenooer. My kin folk jus won’t allow that, sorry.

  24. 24.

    handy

    April 23, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    it was “not intended to be a factual statement”

    You think? Can we also have these things similarly stricken from the record then, Senator? Death panels, taxcuts for the wealthy create jobs, Saddam has WMDs, John McCain is a bi-partisan Maverick?

    OK, the last one was a reach I admit.

  25. 25.

    Yutsano

    April 23, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    @jeffreyw: Sigh…I get that a lot these days. It ain’t easy being an ebil lazeee gubmit worker.

  26. 26.

    Mike E

    April 23, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Bill Maher had a good’ern during his show here in Mayberry the other day, about teh wingnuts:

    You couldn’t pry their irrational thoughts from their cold, dead fingers.

  27. 27.

    JPL

    April 23, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    @Served: I have no idea but it’s an amusing thought.

  28. 28.

    flounder

    April 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    This isn’t even the worst case of Kyl doing this. He revised the Cong. Record in 2006 so he could try to lie to the Supreme Court during the Hamdan v. Rumseld case. He got busted and everyone yawned, ‘cuz lying to the Supreme Court is just regular and whatnot. I’d go into more details if I wasn’t typing on an iPod Touch.
    But as I am a bg fan of context, I’d love it If someone besides myself remembered that Kyl is a repeat offender.

  29. 29.

    Dr. Psycho

    April 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    I never even knew the Congressional Record had a memory hole.

  30. 30.

    trollhattan

    April 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Colbert will have Kyl for dinner, given that he already had him for lunch on the original quip lie and staffer’s “clarification.”

    Monday should be fun.

  31. 31.

    rdalin

    April 23, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    @Phoenix Fucking awesome. I laughed and then I cried.

  32. 32.

    jeffreyw

    April 23, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    @flounder:
    I recall the same thing, bonus is the GrahamCrackerMan.

  33. 33.

    Church Lady

    April 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    That you don’t have a girlfriend is understandable, given your history with the fairer sex.

  34. 34.

    amorphous

    April 23, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    Going back and reading about the Peak Wingnut theory makes me nostalgic for that time when we were more innocent and thought it may be true. It’s like watching “Ozze and Harriett”, except about people who turned out to be much more batshit insane than we ever expected possible.

  35. 35.

    aimai

    April 23, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    @PurpleGirl:

    Maybe someone remembers this better than I do but isn’t it the case that two repubican Senators had information read into the record after a law had been voted on–what they had read into the record implied that a whole host of issues had been publicly debated which had not, in fact, been debated. The intention was to create a fake legislative record for the Supreme Court when the constitutional issues were tried. I know this happened because it actually made it into the papers under Bush and people were really shocked at how transparently evil the practice was. Anyone remember?

    aimai

  36. 36.

    aimai

    April 23, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    @PIGL:

    Go Buffy!

    aimai

  37. 37.

    bemused

    April 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    No matter how slim a woman is, telling her a blouse makes her look fat is a really, really bad idea. I thought everybody knew that by the time they were in high school.

  38. 38.

    gogol's wife

    April 23, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    This seems like a semi-open thread, so:

    Happy Shirley Temple’s Birthday, everyone!

  39. 39.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    April 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    90% of what Republicans say gets stricken from the congressional record.

  40. 40.

    Davis X. Machina

    April 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    For as long as there’s been C-SPAN, and I’ve been watching — 30 years? — everyone has begun their speeches with “Mr. Speaker (or Mr. President), I ask unanimous consent to revise and extend my remarks.””Without objection, so ordered.”

  41. 41.

    nancydarling

    April 23, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    @joeyess: Joey, I just clicked on your Youtube page. I love your songs. Are you still writing? Good luck to you. Tough business as my daughter can attest. It’s all about the music though, isn’t it.

  42. 42.

    WaterGirl

    April 23, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    @bemused:

    No matter how slim a woman is, telling her a blouse anything makes her look fat is a really, really bad idea. I thought everybody knew that by the time they were in high school.

    I fixed that for ya.

  43. 43.

    WaterGirl

    April 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    @nancydarling: Somehow my brain has always seen “joeyess” as “joyess”, so all this time I have been assuming that joeyess was a woman. Imagine my moment of confusion when I clicked on “her” name (after reading your message) and heard a male voice singing.

    @joeyess: Nice voice, by the way.

  44. 44.

    Tony J

    April 23, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    @Church Lady:

    That you don’t have a girlfriend is understandable, given your history with the fairer sex.

    But Tunch is blonde.

    Oh…. I see.

  45. 45.

    Mark S.

    April 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    What is the explanation? Rand Power.

    The Hollywood Reporter has reported that the film will expand its release from 299 theaters to 425 this weekend and to 1,000 by the end of the month.

    Riiiiiight. It got $660 per theater yesterday. I’ll be surprised if it’s still showing anywhere by the end of the month.

  46. 46.

    Marty

    April 23, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    I worked on Capitol Hill and one of the regular staff chores was to go down to the clerk’s office and clean up the boss’s remarks in the Congressional Record, so he/she wouldn’t be on record sounding like such a halfwit.

    But it’s just for show because nobody – repeat nobody – actually reads the Congressional Record.

  47. 47.

    Tonal Crow

    April 23, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    @Mark S.: The free market has spoken: Rand biiiiites!

  48. 48.

    jrg

    April 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    Conservatives are such fucking clowns. If they insist on derailing budget discussions with socially conservative nonsense, is it too much to ask that they not knowingly lie when they do?

    …And where are the holy rollers on this one? Is it cool to bear false witness as long as it’s for the baby Jeebus? Do these people think “the end justifies the means” is one of the 10 commandments or something?

  49. 49.

    MikeJ

    April 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    @Mark S.:

    It got $660 per theater yesterday. I

    The market has spoken. Rand is garbage. If it were good it would have made money.

  50. 50.

    Cassidy

    April 23, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    Completely unrelated and OT…any good recipes for braised pork loin? I’m thinking something with limes and tomatillos.

  51. 51.

    PeakVT

    April 23, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    @“Church” Lady: Do you really think your god wants to hang out for eternity with a mean-spirited sourpuss like yourself?

  52. 52.

    bemused

    April 23, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    Thanx, exactly and might as well include her hair and shoes also, too.

  53. 53.

    cay

    April 23, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    OT: I think I can thank John Cole and Co. for prompting Sullivan to post this:

    http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2011/04/the-perils-of-academic-blogging.html

    “Woe is me! The academic who thinks Paul Ryan is courageous!”

  54. 54.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik

    April 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Wow. Vaguely OT, but speaking of mulligans:

    The NY Times first buries the lede about only 3 in 10 GOP voters convinced Obama is really a valid American Citizen, but then they strip reference to the poll altogether. Almost like the NY Times was somehow afraid of offending or accidentally painting the GOP in a bad light….

  55. 55.

    map106

    April 23, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    @PIGL: Very funny. Made me laugh out loud.

  56. 56.

    MobiusKlein

    April 23, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    John, don’t fret about positing a theory, and having the evidence prove you wrong. That’s called science.

    1) Create theory
    2) test theory
    3) change theory based on evidence.

  57. 57.

    Davis X. Machina

    April 23, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    @Marty: When I coached HS debate — right around the time the dead-tree CR stopped coming out — we made heavy use of it in debate prep.

    But — ironically — not for the actual speeches of Representatives and Senators (they were rubbish, when bad, boilerplate the rest of the time), for what they had read into the record.

    That was invaluable, and I want to thank all those staffers who pointed their nominal bosses at what they should read into the record for doing such valuable research on our behalf.

  58. 58.

    moe99

    April 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    I bet we all had the magic of Congressional do-overs.

    I think there are two words missing from this sentence and it should read, “I bet we all wish we had the magic of Congressional do-overs.”

  59. 59.

    Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)

    April 23, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    @MikeJ: Rand can’t fail. Rand was failed. Duh.

  60. 60.

    J. Michael Neal

    April 23, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    @bemused: Those of us with Aspergers naturally assume that, if you ask a question, it’s because you want the answer. If you ask me, “I’m afraid that this blouse makes me look fat, so would you please reassure me that I’m still attractive?” I’ll be more than happy to reply, “Honey, you’re gorgeous.”

    It’s a lot simpler than trying to guess at what people actually mean.

  61. 61.

    J. Michael Neal

    April 23, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    @handy @24: John McCain is bi?

  62. 62.

    gnomedad

    April 23, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    @MobiusKlein:

    John, don’t fret about positing a theory, and having the evidence prove you wrong. That’s called science.

    1) Create theory: Human activity is a major contributor to greenhouse gases
    2) test theory: If true, this would suggest regulations and international cooperation.
    3) change theory based on evidence: Therefore, it cannot be true.

  63. 63.

    UmYeah

    April 23, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    @aimai:

    Here is a decent link

  64. 64.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    April 23, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    @J. Michael Neal: It seems like if you folks with aspergers can give detailed explanations on the nuances of how you intend to answer a question, you could just as easily figure out how to answer the question correctly. Must be one of those theory/practice things.

  65. 65.

    bemused

    April 23, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    @J. Michael Neal:

    You are a wise man.

    I’m still getting the giggles at the line “something got lost in translation and she was not interested in nuance”. John, you are a very funny guy.

  66. 66.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    April 23, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    um, this one is easy.

    i would look up every mega lottery winner who ended up miserable and broke,i would go back the before drawing before they won, amend the record, to have won the lottery myself. thus i do the social good of saving them the misery, and i get a limbaugh sized ass load of cash for myself.

    good+good=done.

    sure, i know, what if i happen to be like any of those assholes who lets a limbaugh sized assload of cash really fuck up my life? well, there is the genius, i can keep winning them until i fix the problems, because there is no problem caused by a limbaugh sized assload of cash, that can’t be solved by more limbaugh sized assloads of cash.

  67. 67.

    Hermione Granger-Weasley

    April 23, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    The Wingularity is Near.

    Wingularity, the- the point at which the insanity from the far right and those controlling the Republican Party [continues] to grow exponentially until it reaches an unsustainable weight and collapses upon itself. This is also known as the Purity Spiral, wherein the density of wingnut increases compared to mainstream conservatives to the point of pure wingnut. As the ratio rises, this creates a phenomenon wherein no logic or sanity can penetrate or escape. When rightwing argument has become completely inaccessible to the uninitiated, it has reached the Wingularity. Coined by commenters JM and Joe K.

    There is no peak wingnut.

  68. 68.

    Bill Murray

    April 23, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    I’m surprised JC didn’t include something about naked mopping, arm breaking and Rosie in his congressional erasings

  69. 69.

    J. Michael Neal

    April 23, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: It seems to me that if you folks without Aspergers can’t recognize hyperbole for effect, you would be better off in a world where people actually ask the questions they want answered.

  70. 70.

    Ruckus

    April 23, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    @bemused:
    I thought everybody knew that by the time they were in high school.

    If you have older sisters you should have learned this well before that. Like around 5 or 6.

  71. 71.

    Ruckus

    April 23, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    @J. Michael Neal:
    Nice. LOL

  72. 72.

    Anne Laurie

    April 23, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    Hey, Cole — since you don’t read any other FPer posts — did you know that the NYTimes has discovered WoW is a way to hook up IRL?

    Maybe you could do a post about it!

  73. 73.

    Uloborus

    April 23, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    I don’t understand why people don’t believe in Peak Wingnut. I’m not particularly seeing anything crazier than we saw in 2009. Now they just have a lot of the same fruit loops doing pretty much the same level of crazy-ass inane stunts in the House and some state governments. Only the source we’re hearing about has changed. I never thought that the crazy would die QUICKLY after Peak Wingnut was reached. Heck, it could conceivably take two or three electoral beatings. Those seem inevitable now, since moving the crazy to congress means baldfaced attacks on Medicare.

  74. 74.

    Svensker

    April 23, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    @Cassidy:

    Never tried it, but it sounds good.

  75. 75.

    MobiusKlein

    April 23, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    @Uloborus: Speaking of Peak Wingnut, and the notion that it’s just part of our background –
    Going to the Supermarket in San Francisco today, saw a black guy with a sign, running for Congress. Since we have some fine Democrats here already (Pelosi & Speers ) I wondered what was up. Came out because I forgot the shopping list, and noticed it was
    1) a LaRouche democrat
    2) with a Obama + Hitler Mustache poster.
    3) I (being easily trolled) started arguing, saying that 6 million dead Jews beg to differ
    4) including swearing
    5) he attempts to reproach me for my language infront of children.
    6) I leave before I get in a fight.
    —
    so is this part of the peak wingnut lie – things are getting worse – or that the crazy is always there, we just are more noticing it.

  76. 76.

    Blowriley

    April 23, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    Jon Kyl goes to the Dominican Republic with a stash of someone else’s Viagra so that he can have sex with underage boys. That was not intended to be a factual statement. Rush Limbaugh goes to the Dominican Republic with a stash of someone else’s Viagra so that he can have sex with underage boys. That was intended to be a factual statement.

  77. 77.

    Triassic Sands

    April 24, 2011 at 12:21 am

    Getting peak wingnut wrong was understandable, I mean, if you’d never seen an epidemic before and then the Black Plague hit, you might be tempted to think it had reached its peak after a few hundred deaths — with millions still to go. The Republicans have proven to be remarkably insane, so insane, in fact, that the very idea of peak wingnut may be completely meaningless. They may just keep getting nuttier and nuttier until they bring the whole planet crashing down around them. And in response to that — they’ll just get nuttier.

    Nutty is one thing, but damn do they suck.

  78. 78.

    DPirate

    April 24, 2011 at 5:56 am

    lol From the quote in your edit in the peak wingnut post:

    This post is not intended to spread that rumor.

    Awfully prescient of him!

    #Notintendedtobeafactualstatement rofl

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