• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / He Has Risen

He Has Risen

by John Cole|  April 23, 20118:10 pm| 60 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

Off the couch and is now wandering around the house chirping because we are making a lamb shank and ribs with a dry rub and the SMELL IS KILLING HIM:

I have company and am taking the night off. Tammy let her husband loose for the week-end, so we are drinking wine and cooking up a storm.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Saturday Evening Open Thread: Updating the Lexicon
Next Post: By the incompetent at the expense of the stupid »

Reader Interactions

60Comments

  1. 1.

    Emma

    April 23, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    You mean bastard, Cole, making poor Tunch hungry with all those lovely smells…

  2. 2.

    JPL

    April 23, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    Hmmm… Tunch appears to be a few pounds larger. Are the dogs accounted for? Enjoy your supper.

  3. 3.

    gogol's wife

    April 23, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    Tunch looks lovely. Does he still get furminated?

  4. 4.

    Hannity Hussein

    April 23, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    When your cats ass is bigger then yours you’ve got one fat cat.

  5. 5.

    Josie

    April 23, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    I hope he scores some meat juice, at least. My three pooches had some with their kibble tonight and are all smiling. The pug is wandering in circles in the kitchen checking over and over to see if I spilled any. Hope springs eternal.

  6. 6.

    suzanne

    April 23, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    Good Lord, that cat is round.

    Happy Easter, John and family. :)

  7. 7.

    Gina

    April 23, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Jumped up Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, Tunch actually got bigger. WTH?

  8. 8.

    Bill Murray

    April 23, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    I don’t think John even considered replying when Tunch asked “Does this fur make me look fat?”

    probably a very smart move

  9. 9.

    srv

    April 23, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    You might want to check at reinforcing your foundation.

  10. 10.

    geg6

    April 23, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    Damn, that’s a fat cat. Having a similar problem with the dogs and the duck that is just resting from it’s roast temp. Duck with wild rice, roasted carrots and fresh-from-the-garden asparagus, a Reisling, and a Pinot noir. Topped off with carrot cake. My reward for packing my whole apartment this week. Love my life.

  11. 11.

    gogol's wife

    April 23, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    @Bill Murray:

    It is, it is his fur! And he has big bones.

  12. 12.

    Amir_Khalid

    April 23, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    Tunch looks about five times the size of my own svelte little kitteh Bianca.

  13. 13.

    maye

    April 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    did that cat swallow a basketball?

  14. 14.

    TaMara (BHF)

    April 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    You know if you google Turkish Van, all those cats look Tunch sized. Now quit picking on the Tunch-man before he kicks your ass (and as you can see, he’s probably big enough to do it).

    Have fun tonite, JC

  15. 15.

    dr. bloor

    April 23, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    Tunch still looking like he ate the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

  16. 16.

    Jim, Once

    April 23, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    Ohh, sweet Tunchie. This so makes me wish I had my big boy Grayg here to fondly abuse. Gone seven years now, and my most unforgettable furry companion.

  17. 17.

    Warren Terra

    April 23, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Take the whole weekend off. It’s what Jesus did, after all.

  18. 18.

    sukabi

    April 23, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    are you sure Tunch didn’t eat the entire lamb???

  19. 19.

    debit

    April 23, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    @dr. bloor: The ectoplasm really packs a lot of calories.

  20. 20.

    Svensker

    April 23, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Maybe, since you and Tunchie seem to have an avoirdupois problem, you should start chasing him around the house. Or you could hold a pork chop and he could chase you. Do you both good.

  21. 21.

    aimai

    April 23, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    My mother called me at 4:30 and asked, plaintively, if I could bring her dinner at five? Because she’s sick and my father is out of town. She wanted apple pie, too. I made an apple pie (frozen puff pastry, sliced apples, carmel underneath the apples) and a quick polenta and the world’s fastest chicken in a wine sauce, brought it over, cleaned her kitchen, fed her, and was back home by 6:38 to make our dinner of grilled lamb chops with a turkish spice rub, the leftover polenta, roasted red peppers, asparagus, and sauteed spinach and pea tendrils. We are now having our own apple tart (I made two simultaneously and took one over to my mother) while watching The Long Kiss Goodnight with Geena Davis and Samuel Jackson. Plus, bottle of some damned red wine. Life is good.

    aimai

  22. 22.

    M. Bouffant

    April 23, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    I hope Catzilla there is getting his taurine.

  23. 23.

    gbear

    April 23, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    You really need to dye Tunch black.

    It’s slimming.

  24. 24.

    Svensker

    April 23, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    @aimai:

    People like you make the rest of us look bad.

  25. 25.

    amorphous

    April 23, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    I hope the two of you don’t drown in your own testosterone on such a manly night. What would 1991 John Cole say about 2011 John Cole if he could read this post? (Answer: “What the fuck is a ‘post’ and when did I start supporting the Democrats?”)

  26. 26.

    debit

    April 23, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    @aimai: I love that movie. “Chefs do that.”

  27. 27.

    gbear

    April 23, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    @aimai:

    My mother called me at 4:30 and asked, plaintively, if I could bring her dinner at five?

    Are we allowed to tell our mothers to go to hell?

  28. 28.

    Uloborus

    April 23, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    Great googly mooglies. That cat is shaped like a ham.

  29. 29.

    cbear

    April 23, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    WTF? I can’t tell if that’s a cat, or a cat sitting on a matching hassock.

  30. 30.

    Uncle Clarence Thomas

    April 23, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    .
    .
    I’m tired of the fat cats having their way with everything!
    .
    .

  31. 31.

    Rommie

    April 23, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    I think the real question is if Tunch is standing or sitting on his hind legs in that picture.

  32. 32.

    FlipYrWhig

    April 23, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    I have a white cat who looks just like Tunch, of comparable girth, only with a black spot on his head that looks like a toupee, and a black tail.

  33. 33.

    Southern Beale

    April 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Anyone else watching “Cinema Verite” on HBO? I remember that PBS show “American Family…” This will bring me back for sure.

  34. 34.

    jrg

    April 23, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Holy crap. It looks like someone taped an alpaca rug to a pilates ball and balanced it on two toothpicks.

    Don’t you worry about neighborhood kids disappearing?

  35. 35.

    Gordon, The Big Express Engine

    April 23, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    You need to do someting about Tunch’s weight. you are heading for a diabetic cat. Our best cat (Wilkie – a big orange tabby), just had to be put to sleep because of kidney failure. He was 8 and not overweight. Hard to figure out exactly what happened. He was really his normal self until about 10 days ago and he went downhill fast. He is survied by Carmen (11), Tiki (white fatty that looks like Tunch but with no tail) and Tiki’s brother Hazel (gray stripey also with no tail), both 5 years old.

  36. 36.

    Gravenstone

    April 23, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    @Southern Beale: Watching the season premiere of Dr. Who. Weirdness abounds.

  37. 37.

    cathyx

    April 23, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    I put my 2 fat indoor cats on a diet because they were fat and I didn’t want to end up doing the insulin thing. It’s easy to control the diet of indoor cats because you are the one who gives them everything they eat.
    But let me tell you that you have to have strong willpower to do it. They will beg, steal, and borrow to get you to give them more food. It took a couple of weeks for them to get used to eating twice a day. Then it took a good month for them to be satisfied with the amount I gave them. I slowly lessened the amount until it was the amount that they should be eating.
    Now, they are only the biggest pains in the world 1 hour before breakfast and dinner. The rest of the day they are fine. They are slim and trim and now they will probably outlive me.

  38. 38.

    TuiMel

    April 23, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    I have not thought of “F-Troop” in a VERY long time. But, I saw this Tunch Pic and the exclamation “It is balloon!” came shouting into my head.

  39. 39.

    trollhattan

    April 23, 2011 at 10:35 pm

    Oh man; oh CAT. A new Tunch photo and hilarity ensues, my day just got much mo betta.

    Tunch and Charlie Sheen in “Two-and-a-Half Katz.” Guess who plays the 2.5 cats?

  40. 40.

    trollhattan

    April 23, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    @TuiMel:

    Once upon a time, naming your cat Agarn would have been awesome and well appreciated. Today? Nada. Pity.

  41. 41.

    licensed to kill time

    April 23, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Ol’ Tunch Cole was a ravenous soul
    and a big jelly roll has he
    Well, he called for his lamb and he chirped for his ribs
    “John and Tammy dey’s a’killin’ me”

  42. 42.

    Corpsicle

    April 23, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    It’s not chirping, it’s that beeping noise trucks make when they back up.

  43. 43.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    April 23, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    if tunch had a publicist he would insist on yunch only being photgraphed from the shoulders up.

    a little like the wilson phillips video effect, maybe some gauzy lighting…..

  44. 44.

    Tim, Interrupted

    April 23, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    How exactly does a cat “chirp?”

    And since Tunch is still fat, after years of Cole’s whining about it, we can only assume that his girth is just as John wishes it to be.

    Reading this blog is a daily, and extremely educational, case study in the ravages of codependence.

  45. 45.

    Alison

    April 23, 2011 at 11:35 pm

    Good fucking lord, Cole. It’s seriously not okay for a cat to be that big :( makes me sad to see it

  46. 46.

    asiangrrlMN

    April 23, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Tuuuuuuuuunchie!

    Love the Tunchie-meister. More of him to love. Have a fun evening!

  47. 47.

    gnomedad

    April 23, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    @Tim, Interrupted:

    How exactly does a cat “chirp?”

    Prrrt?

  48. 48.

    dmbeaster

    April 24, 2011 at 12:04 am

    aimai – send the video to Megan

  49. 49.

    tkogrumpy

    April 24, 2011 at 12:47 am

    That’s not a cat that’s a tumor!

  50. 50.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    April 24, 2011 at 12:54 am

    @aimai: Oohhh. Long Kiss Goodnight. Excellent movie.

    Favorite line? Knife quivering in the wall after she’s thrown it. “Chefs do that!”

  51. 51.

    Comrade Mary

    April 24, 2011 at 1:18 am

    So did you share any of the goodies with the poor starving thing?

  52. 52.

    2liberal

    April 24, 2011 at 1:25 am

    that is one fat cat. You should put a leash on him and make him go for walks. Although that would increase the odds that he will kill you while you are sleeping.

  53. 53.

    FlipYrWhig

    April 24, 2011 at 2:24 am

    @Gordon, The Big Express Engine: I’m sorry for that, Gordon.

  54. 54.

    mgordon

    April 24, 2011 at 2:24 am

    Did that cat eat a Python?

  55. 55.

    Yutsano

    April 24, 2011 at 2:26 am

    Fat cat is fat.

    And obligatory KITTEH!!

  56. 56.

    Nom de Plume

    April 24, 2011 at 2:49 am

    Nice beanbag chair. I’d crash on it. Get rid of the freaky eyes, though.

  57. 57.

    Redwood Rhiadra

    April 24, 2011 at 5:17 am

    Where are his Gamorrean guards and scantily clad slave girl?!

    (wishes I had better Photoshop skills :-)

  58. 58.

    Richard Fox

    April 24, 2011 at 7:00 am

    I believe that cat is Mae West reincarnated. I can hear the tart retorts and see the
    1890’s hats. All that’s needed is the all boy chorus. Nice visual to greet the morning…

  59. 59.

    Platonicspoof

    April 24, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    He has risen . . .

    Hhhmmm . . .

    I never pictured the Dude as a white cat.

    And not so, let’s say, worldly.

  60. 60.

    virag

    April 24, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    holy shit, that cat is fucking huge!

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - Mike in Oly - Woodard Bay Natural Resources Conservation Area
Image by Mike in Oly (5/24/25)

Recent Comments

  • Dorothy A. Winsor on New Angel Match for the PA Supreme Court Effort by The Civics Center (May 24, 2025 @ 11:50am)
  • Citizen Alan on Late Night Open Thread (May 24, 2025 @ 11:50am)
  • lowtechcyclist on Saturday Morning Open Thread (May 24, 2025 @ 11:50am)
  • MazeDancer on New Angel Match for the PA Supreme Court Effort by The Civics Center (May 24, 2025 @ 11:49am)
  • Matt McIrvin on Saturday Morning Open Thread (May 24, 2025 @ 11:47am)

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
War in Ukraine
Donate to Razom for Ukraine

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Meetups

Upcoming Ohio Meetup May 17
5/11 Post about the May 17 Ohio Meetup

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Hands Off! – Denver, San Diego & Austin

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!