Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The revolution will be supervised.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

You cannot shame the shameless.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / This Is Too Much For Even Me

Reader Interactions

150Comments

  2. 2.

    JCT

    My guess is that Tunch does not concur with your appraisal. Speaking of which — Tunch pics?

  3. 3.

    gex

    My money says it was the Balloon Juice shout out that has brought the site down temporarily.

  4. 4.

    Jager

    Mrs J contends that her dear, departed Chelsea (at 21 years of age) spoke perfect English with a Cotswolds accent, much like her own. Having lived with Chelsea for 14 of those years, I vote for LOLCAT.

  5. 5.

    Yutsano

    @gex: Was just working for me. I barely made it through Genesis 1 without laughing my ass off. FURST!!

  7. 7.

    eemom

    rumor has it that each of Andrew Sullivan’s columns shall henceforth be translated into LOLCAT.

  8. 8.

    gex

    @Yutsano: I want to get to Revelations. Somehow the idea of the end of times makes sense if you think of hordes of angry kittehs.

    @eemom: That could be amusing. Until we are accused of being Fifth Caninists.

  11. 11.

    Yutsano

    @gex: Something tells me the shroom trip that is Revelations would be greatly improved with hordes of kittehs.

  18. 18.

    Violet

    @eemom:

    rumor has it that each of Andrew Sullivan’s columns shall henceforth be translated into LOLCAT.

    I can haz mai mar-i-wanna?
    I can haz teh gay marrij?
    I can see Trig’s birf sertifikat?
    Torchur bad!

    Does that about cover it?

  20. 20.

    ItAintEazy

    Wow, where have you been? Even I knew about this a long ways back, and I’m always behind on every internet tradition.

  24. 24.

    Rommie

    How dare you scoff at Ceiling Cat! You’ll have a matching set of busted shoulders if you keep it up, courtesy of Tunch tripping you at an appropriate time. Near stairs and/or concrete.

    Seriously, the best part about the LOLCat Bible isn’t Teh Funny writing, which is great, but the genuine hate it causes in the offended. The tears are delicious!

  25. 25.

    ItAintEazy

    @Violet: Yeah, you wish. From 1 Chronicles 1:8 “Teh baybeez ov Hamhamdinner: Cushion, Mizraim, Put (put whut, lawlz) an Canaan.”

  26. 26.

    gex

    @eemom: Thanks for that! It is awesome.

    I hate being a Minnesotan very much right now. But I guess it was our state’s turn. I can’t wait ’til the 2012 elections over.

  27. 27.

    RSA

    The entire bible in LOLCAT?

    It’s the awesome power of human creativity and ingenuity. People tend to have a comparable reaction when finding out that over 90% of email traffic is spam, that about 25% of all search engine queries are for porn, and 25% of all 800 numbers are sex lines.

  28. 28.

    LT

    John. Go watch. Go. (Second City does Atlas Shrugged II trailer.)

    Well fine. You’ve probably seen it.

  32. 32.

    scav

    Amos 5

    21 You all has a flavor. Ceiling Cat does not want.
    __
    22 I kno you want me to has some of your prezints. Are not so gret, aktualy. Your nummy treatz, Ceiling Cat iz NOT watching dese
    __
    23 DO NOT WANT yure muszics either.
    __
    24 But Ceiling Cat DO WANT justice and fur youz all be gud kittehs to each ubber.

  33. 33.

    Peter

    For me, this is one of those things that starts off funny, and then stops being funny and becomes just plain weird. but then it [i]keeps going[/i] and so wraps back around to funny again.

  35. 35.

    freelancer

    Okay, earlier today I told my friend the story of Lot. I should have just linked to Genesis 19. LMMFAO.

    Sodom n Gomorrah PWNED
    1 andz der wuz two hovrcatz dat coemed to Sodom’s place, anz lot sat der looking like “wtf iz goin on heer?” Lot saw dem and waz all, “Doodz, you are teh hovrcats and probly haz cheezburgerz,” and bowed down to eatz teh cheezburger.2 Doodz, he saiz, plz crash on my couch, you can wash ur kittehs feet and ur canz has go out when I r woke. “Lolz,” teh doodz said, “we iz gonna sleep together in teh middle of teh citeh.”
    __
    3 Lot iz all “doodz, srsly, crash on my couch.” Den He called up teh taco bell ann tey gave it to hiz kitteh.4 All teh drunc doodz went to Lotz place fer teh LOLz5 Teh drunc guyz says to Lot, dood, letz see teh guyz in ur place, we herd dey liek VISIBLE BUTTSEX!
    __
    6 Lot goez outside n close teh cat flap.7 He sayz, “oh snap, don’t do dat! ewwwww growss!”8 Lol U can hit my hot daughterz whu r virginz. Let me get em n we kan PE NIS GOES WHERE? them. But don’t do theze doodz, they iz in mah house.9 Aw no fanks. We iz gonna hit ur door an hav lemmon party. ur gonna get raped fisrt.
    […]
    From teh hole in teh ceiling came bunches of teh sulfer and it wuz teh flame.25 N dats how Ceiling Cat pwnd the land n teh fruitzors An vegbatels. It happen.26 But Lotz wyfe not listen. She luked bak at home-place and now has a flavor, flavor iz salty. Lotz wyf turnd to salt. LOL

  37. 37.

    LT

    And another thing: The credit for winning World War Two should really go to Calvin Coolidge.

  38. 38.

    Martin

    Clear evidence Cole doesn’t read comments much. We’ve been referencing lolcat Bible for years.

  39. 39.

    Villago Delenda Est

    People tend to have a comparable reaction when finding out that over 90% of email traffic is spam

    Everyone with an internet connection is paying for the advertising emails of parasite marketing assholes.

    Just think about that for a moment. ISPs must upgrade their mail servers and pipes to deal with the spam, so that the other 10$ of actually wanted email can get through.

  40. 40.

    piratedan

    @LT: oh and I suppose you’re gonna Say Lincoln was instrumental in setting free the slaves while completely ignoring all of the efforts of Franklin Pierce, amirtite?

  42. 42.

    MikeJ

    Back in ye olden dayes, geeks would write filters to translate text to various dialects (e.g, the jive filter that I remember being on the herd of vaxxen I used). Why bother with crowd sourced translations?

    Also too, eemom’s dream of translating Sully could just go straight from the rss feed.

  43. 43.

    Cat Lady

    OT, but Tweety is a full metal Obama knob slobberer tonight. The Villagers (J-Mart, Fineman) on the show have their fingers in the breeze, and if the show is any indication of a coalescing CW, the Republicans are gonna need a bigger boat.

  44. 44.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    I just love the first line of Genesis “but he did not eated them” it makes me laugh every time I see it.

  45. 45.

    MattR

    @bago:

    You do realize that there’s an entire programming language based on lolcat grammar.

    Given the fun I have had the past few days trying to figure out how the heck BPEL works in general as well as how my former teammates implemented our specific requirements, lolcode sounds like a blast right now. I actually understand that “Hello World” program (or “Hai World” as the case may be)

  46. 46.

    Neil

    second kings chapter 2 versus 23-25:

    sum yung ppl meking fun of elisha
    Oh mice, barez!
    23 So den elisha carryd on frm mcdonalds 2 burger king agen. while he was goin up sum wittle boys were mean 2 him callin her bald.
    24 He turnt round n cursed them in da name ov Ceiling Cat! An as she carryd on 2 burger king 2 l33t bears sudenli come out da woods n nom’d 42 ov da boys leik dey waz cheezburgerz.
    25 From dere he went 2 Mount Caramel n from dere he went 2 Sammacha.

    epic.

  47. 47.

    Canadian Observer

    Anti-War leader Cindy Sheehan raises doubts about Osama’s death, and I’m inclined to agree now. Where’s the photo? What is the Empire hiding? Since when has the EMpire cared about “inflaming” anti-Muslim sentiment? IT has the blood of millions of Muslims on its hands.

  48. 48.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    @Villago Delenda Est: Yeah but THE POST OFFICE IS GOING TO START CHARGING US FOR EMAIL as my rightwing email forwarding family believes.

    @MattR: I remember Ook. I wonder if lolcode is more robust.

  51. 51.

    Canadian Observer

    I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL, you’re stupid. Just think to yourself–they paraded Saddam’s dead sons around to prove they were dead–why do you suppose they hastily buried this version of OBL at sea? This lying, murderous Empire can only exist with your brainwashed consent–just put your flags away and THINK! It’s also easier just to swallow the lies of the Empire like Monica Lewinsky swallowed Clinton’s sperm. It works for me.–Cindy Sheehan

    Something to think about, isn’t it?

  52. 52.

    schrodinger's cat

    This website has been around for years. Some people say that Tunch was a major contributor. Its a wonder that you just found out about it.

  54. 54.

    Yutsano

    @Canadian Observer:

    IT has the blood of millions of Muslims on its hands.

    A) Hyperbole does nothing for you.

    B) When one chooses to go off topic, it is considered polite to mention that one is doing so. Otherwise your non sequitur is simply ignored. Plus didn’t you just hand a majority to a right-wing tool?

  55. 55.

    Canadian Observer

    Plus didn’t you just hand a majority to a right-wing tool?

    Only with propaganda fed through a corporate media financed by the Empire. The Americanisation of Canada will be complete now, and YOU are to blame.

  56. 56.

    Canadian Observer

    Plus didn’t you just hand a majority to a right-wing tool?

    Only with propaganda fed through a corporate media financed by the Empire. The Americanisation of Canada will be complete now, and YOU are to blame.

  57. 57.

    Alex S.

    @Canadian Observer:

    Lol, who cares about Cindy Sheehan? Seriously, what webpages do I have to visit do read what she is saying, and more importantly, why should anyone do that?

  58. 58.

    DavidNC

    it’s funny cuz it pisses off christians. and that’s enough for me. which is sort of sad.

  59. 59.

    Canadian Observer

    A) Hyperbole does nothing for you.

    Osama bin Laden calculated that to make up for all the Muslim blood spilled, he would have to kill 5 million Americans, and 1 million of them would have to be children. The Empire sanctions in Iraq ALONE killed millions.

    USA! USA! USA!

    Dumbasses. Everyone fucking hates you. EVERYONE.

  60. 60.

    Yutsano

    @Canadian Observer: Yes we sent our Army up to Canada and forced you to elect Harper at gunpoint. Jeez. Do you think you could stop and THINK for a second before you answer a question?

  61. 61.

    Canadian Observer

    Harper was FINANCED by American Empire CAPITAL and advised by Empire Neocons.

  63. 63.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    @DavidNC: They need to be knocked down a notch. Don’t be sad.

    What is sad is MN is having an entirely religious debate about civil rights. The word “God” is being invoked by both sides and not once has the rule of law taken center stage. So, as far as I’m concerned, it’s good when they get pissed off because others don’t take their version of God as seriously as they do.

  64. 64.

    Yutsano

    @Canadian Observer:

    Harper was FINANCED by American Empire CAPITAL and advised by Empire Neocons.

    Yawn. You can’t even be bothered to take responsibility for your own elections. Why should we give a shit about anything you have to say regarding any topic anywhere?

    @Barb (formerly Gex): Right-wing Christians never take God seriously unless He helps advance their oppressive political aims. Otherwise the Bible is a book taking up space on the coffee table.

  65. 65.

    Warren Terra

    Those “Empire Neocons”, with their excellent advice. Guaranteed to improve anyone‘s electoral prospects, especially in 2011. I can see why “Canadian Observer” would resent “our” supplying Harper with them.

  67. 67.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    @Yutsano: And guess what? It’s not like our elections go uninterfered with by big corporations who have no devotion to any country.

    He’s yelling at Americans for what multinationals have done to our nation while yelling at Americans for what multinationals have done to his nation. It’s always proper to point the finger elsewhere. And once you’ve picked a scapegoat, stick with it.

    I think the thing that really bothers me is watching our state legislature debate this and it’s just a bunch of Christians fighting over what God thinks. It’s fucking disgusting. The good guys dive in and argue theologically too.

  69. 69.

    Yutsano

    @Mark S.: Pick one, you got at least four other options. And one is even a woman!

    (Who won her riding and became the first of her party to win a seat BTW. This election despite the majority results is pretty historic.)

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’m personally optimistic we can get him to go into full mental meltdown mode here soon. And I’m pretty confident in the he since I thought I saw him self-identify gender once. I am always open to correction however.

  73. 73.

    Cat Lady

    @Canadian Observer:

    I’m sure there isn’t anything you could have done in your own country to fight The Man that would be as effective as telling commenters on Balloon Juice that everyone hates us. That’ll show Stephen Harper. Did you cut yourself too?

  74. 74.

    Canadian Observer

    But you know what?

    We finally replaced the right-wing liberals with a more left-wing party as the opposition. American “progressives” could learn a lot from that.

    We pushed the overton window leftward!

  77. 77.

    Yutsano

    @Canadian Observer:

    We pushed the overton window leftward!

    And a Conservative government for four years. But that’s okay, I think you’re happier in the opposition since all you have to do there is bitch and whine. And that does seem to be one of your talents.

    @Omnes Omnibus: Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. As I noted before, medicare was nice while it lasted.

  78. 78.

    Canadian Observer

    The conservative majority will overreach and enrage the population, heightening the contradictions of the system.

  79. 79.

    Jay

    Juicers,

    I wanted to jump on something our fearless leader posted way downpage:

    “Here is Sullivan, a few hours later, discussing the political benefits for Obama of killing bin Laden. And for fun, here is Sullivan quoting Frum, both exuberant that this finally will show the doubters:

    ‘David Frum hopes “we have at last seen the end of this ugly insinuation that there is something less than fully American about the black president with the exotic name:

    President Obama has performed the first job of an American president: he has used the power of the nation well to defeat the nation’s enemies and defend the nation’s people. After an interval for celebration of yesterday’s accomplishment, it will be back to politics as usual. But let’s hope that this time, the usual will have this difference: that the administration can be criticized as ‘liberal’ without being libeled as ‘alien.’

    “Because, as we all know, there is nothing more American than killing foreigners!”

    John’s reduction of bin Laden to a “foreigner” is unbelievably sloppy shorthand. OBL wasn’t just ANY foreigner, and John knows this, as do we loyal readers. I don’t celebrate bin Laden’s death because I believe it’s a really shallow position, but I tend not to begrudge those who hold it, save for the dumb kid on “The Daily Show” last night who screamed bin Laden’s assassination got him out of a final (our soldiers weren’t thinking of YOU, chief). What I DO celebrate is the successful completion of a job by our military, and I celebrate their safe return, although it will take awhile.

    To the larger point about Obama: many of his critics (most of them deranged) long saw him as “soft,” i.e. unable and unwilling to defend the country. The “soft” slur is designed to undercut his Americanness, and we heard it from the likes of Marty Peretz when he called Obama a “third-worlder,” not to mention Dinesh D’Souza.

    It isn’t American to wantonly murder “foreigners,” but it’s very American to get rid of a foreign enemy like Osama bin Laden. I don’t think the President’s soft. I never have. We liberals have been right about a not-insignificant number of National Security questions through the years. It’s time we said that, instead of letting the Hannityesque mouthbreathers who dismissed Abu Ghraib as “panties on the head” define us.

  81. 81.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    @Omnes Omnibus: I don’t know, but it sounds like Nader would have a really nice shot of getting his ego stroked by some Canadian leftists.

  82. 82.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @stuckinred:

    Ya beat me by a minute! I posted about this in another thread one minute later…lol!

    Bush probably didn’t want to highlight his failures by appearing next to the guy who did what he couldn’t (or didn’t) want to do.

    It was smart of Obama to invite him since it will make the wingers wail and tear at their clothing even more that their guy declined.

    I wonder what the conspiracy wingers will come up with as the real reason Bush declined.

  85. 85.

    scav

    Ah, the disaster imposed by ‘merca in comment 55 is a notable triumph that ‘merca could learn from in comment 73.

  88. 88.

    Roger Moore

    The tenth commandment in LOLCat:

    U no wantz neibor cheezburgerz! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no abimalz, NO BUKKITZ! DEY NOT UR BUKKITZ, K? dey da LOLrus’ bukkits.

  90. 90.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @stuckinred:

    Maybe it’s because he knows that his administration was a clusterfuck and is ashamed. If not and his declining the invite was purely because he is no longer in office and that Obama has earned his ‘victory lap’ to himself, then this was a classy move by him.

    Naaah, I’m sticking with his being ashamed of his record in office.

  92. 92.

    WaterGirl

    @stuckinred: @Odie Hugh Manatee: I am honestly surprised that Bush was smart enough to decline the invitation. I find myself hoping he is ashamed at how he handled everything and also understands that he is not half the man (or president) that Barack Obama is.

    Edit: I see that Odie Hugh Manatee beat me to it!

  94. 94.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: Sometimes it is hard to remember in life that being open and decent will really work for you. Obama seems to have mastered that. When you are nice to people who expect you to attack, and can’t wait because they are itching for a fight they are left sputtering not knowing what to do.

    I suspect that is one element of how he gets his opponents to self destruct so often.

  96. 96.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @WaterGirl:

    My wife thought it was a classy move on his part until I pointed out that maybe he was truly ashamed to stand next to the guy who did what he couldn’t do.

    She changed her mind and agreed with me…lol!

  99. 99.

    cleek

    Bush has been smart enough to stay out of the public eye since he left office. this is probably just more of that. he’s done with politics and shit.

  100. 100.

    Yutsano

    @debit: PUPPEH!! You need to show photos of her more often methinks.

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    She changed her mind and agreed with me…lol!

    Enjoy this day good sir. The odds of that occurring again are minimal at best.

  101. 101.

    slag

    @Canadian Observer: All those exclamation points and now this statement. You do realize you’re starting to sound like a cartoon villain, right?

    Look buddy, it’s not our fault you guys blew the election up there. Maybe you need to take your tundric angst out on some other country for a while. Has Quebec seceded yet?

  102. 102.

    MikeJ

    @cleek: I don’t think he really liked politics to begin with. The only time I’ve seen him in public was when the Mariners played the Rangers on opening day, he was there.

  104. 104.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Barb (formerly Gex): “I suspect that is one element of how he gets his opponents to self destruct so often.”

    I think the above applies to both sides of the political spectrum. Much of the wailing among the manic progressive left that I have been reading since Obama ordered the military to take out Osama seems to be that they are upset that this helps Obama look good and may help his reelection chances.

    I really like the way Obama can get the goat of his detractors on the right and left. It really helps him with the people in the middle, IMO.

  106. 106.

    Anne Laurie

    @debit: THANK YOU! Pictures of Chloe always make me feel better about life, the universe, and the difficulties of typing with my right hand wadded up in many yards of bandage…

  107. 107.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Yutsano:

    You obviously don’t know my wife or me very well…lol. We both have the ability to reason and come to a conclusion that we agree on, whether it’s her or myself who changes our mind.

    You don’t stay married for 25 years and never have a fight without that ability. :)

  108. 108.

    WaterGirl

    @debit: I laughed out loud when I saw the photo of your cat. (in a good way) She is beautiful and oh so serious.

  110. 110.

    stuckinred

    NBC News reported that Obama invited former President George W. Bush to attend the event but Bush does not plan to attend.

    NBC said Bush plans to mark the 10-year anniversary of 9/11 at ground zero in September.

    The White House said Obama on Thursday will visit ground zero, the site of al-Qaida’s attack on the World Trade Center, and meet with the families of those killed nearly 10 years ago.

  111. 111.

    Morbo

    @soonergrunt: CTRL+F “Brick” Damn, second.

    Indeed, the brick testament is awesome and if anything had to be more obsessively time consuming than the lolcat bible. Granted, it’s an abridged version done mainly as a retort to the morality of the bible. Frankly, its version of Revelation looks awesome.

  112. 112.

    debit

    @Yutsano: I need to take more pictures of her. Between winter blahs and tax season I don’t think I picked up mt camera more than once in the last 4 months.

    I always think of you when I call the IRS, and wonder if I’ll ever get you, but then, there’s no way I’d ever know. Plus, I assume you only do personal taxes, not payroll.

  114. 114.

    Roger Moore

    @Barb (formerly Gex):
    I wouldn’t be surprised if some of it is that they’re projecting, too. When Obama is gracious they’re unable to accept it because they’re incapable of graciousness. They assume he’s planning a clever trap for them because that’s what they’d do.

  115. 115.

    Yutsano

    @debit: A) I’m W&I not SB/SE.

    B) I work ACS, which is collections, not tax law, who you’d be calling. And we never back up SB/SE or tax law unless our call flow is really low and theirs is really high. And that (fortunately) ended after April 18th.

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: It’s a horrific affliction isn’t it? I don’t know how we manage to exist in polite society.

  119. 119.

    debit

    @Anne Laurie: I’ve been wondering how you were doing! Swaddled in bandages doesn’t sound comfy, but at least you’re home now, right?

  121. 121.

    hamletta

    @WaterGirl: Well, since this thread ostensibly concerns the Bible, I’m going to follow the 8th commandment and assume the best about George W. Bush, that he was too classy to accept the invitation.

    What?! It could happen!

    But seriously: The classiest thing he ever did was to speak out about Muslims in the days after 9/11 and say the American people shouldn’t turn on their fellow citizens just because they shared a religion with a bunch of murderous nutjobs.

    I’m just going to work on the assumption that this latest move came from the same good little sliver of his soul. Parsing someone’s every move for ulterior motives isn’t good for one’s own mental hygiene.

    And it violates the commandment against bearing false witness.

  122. 122.

    Anne Laurie

    @debit: Home, as long as I promised to be good, keep my right hand elevated & clean & not ‘overstress’ it. With my wrist support, the draining wound doesn’t touch the mousepad, but I’m trying to be good about typing. Back to the ortho surgeon’s office tomorrow morning, if things are going well maybe the bandage gets less cumbersome. Thanks!

  123. 123.

    debit

    @WaterGirl: Actually, he’s the devil. His latest trick? Leap to the top of the fridge door when I open it. Sometimes he misjudges the timing and smacks into the freezer door instead, then I laugh and laugh.

  125. 125.

    Anne Laurie

    @Anoniminous: The Bible was the original source for Rule #34: If there is a language — real or ‘imaginary’ — the Bible has been translated into it. No exceptions!

    Anyone got a link to the New Yorker article a couple years back, the missionary who ‘discovered’ a language to rebut the Chomskyites because it lacked referents “all languages” must have? He could do that because the Xtian missionaries are still evangelizing, literally, spreading their word. Lots of non-script ‘small group’ languages, here in America and in the Pacific Islands, survive mostly because some missionary felt it vital to translate his God’s words for a couple of hundred people who probably never saw the results.

  126. 126.

    soonergrunt

    @Yutsano:

    Yawn. You can’t even be bothered to take responsibility for your own elections. You’re a one-note obsequious prick. Why should we give a shit about anything you have to say regarding any topic anywhere?

    @Yutsano:

    But that’s okay, I think you’re happier in the opposition since all you have to do there is bitch and whine. And that does seem to be one of your talents.

    There. Fixed those for you.

    @Yutsano: One of OKC’s FEW redeeming qualities is the permanent installation of Chihully works at the OKC Museum of Art. Sadly, the installation is in storage during the museum renovation.

  127. 127.

    Shoemaker-Levy 9

    I thought the Bible was written in Lolcat to begin with.

    120+ comments, I can’t possibly be the first to make this joke.

  128. 128.

    Yutsano

    @soonergrunt: Damn me and my eternal politeness.

    And Chihully’s studio is just one city over. Tacoma created a Museum of Glass pretty much to showcase the best of his pieces. I haven’t gotten down that way yet but I might have to one of these weekends.

  129. 129.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    @Roger Moore: Oh yeah. I definitely agree. I really admire the way he handles himself under, well frankly, the most pressure that can be applied to a person.

  130. 130.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    @Mark S.: I hope he still has to stand next to Obama when he goes. That’s the photo op he wants to avoid.

  131. 131.

    soonergrunt

    @Yutsano: I don’t think CO is real. Actual human beings can’t maintain that kind of rage and hate for that long without some kind of serious pathology. It doesn’t seem to exist for any other reason except to try to piss people off, which a very sad way to be.
    Brick Oven Bill probably wasn’t real. It didn’t have any rhyme or reason to it’s rants. It was like version .6 chatbot with a reasonable “conservative” personality overlay.
    This new model, ostensibly from Canada, appears to be a version 1.0 chatbot. It does full sentences, more or less coherently and occasionally approximating the topic, but always on-theme. Sadly, there doesn’t appear to be a personality, overlaid or otherwise.

  132. 132.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @soonergrunt: I am pretty sure it is someone working on developing a spoof character. This one is not a success, but perhaps the spoofer will learn something that makes next one good. OTOH, maybe CO is just that fucked up. It takes all kinds.

  133. 133.

    Yutsano

    @soonergrunt:

    I don’t think CO is real. Actual human beings can’t maintain that kind of rage and hate for that long without some kind of serious pathology. It doesn’t seem to exist for any other reason except to try to piss people off, which a very sad way to be.

    Oh I have known people who have been like that. The real trick to their pathology is to let it out only at certain times and in particular situations. I have no doubt that even if CO is a spoof at the very least CO can at least conceive of anger like this, which he could just be choosing to express in hyperbolic fashion. Or he’s just that much of an asshole in real life so doesn’t have much social contact. Either way he still gets pleasure from our misery. Or perceived misery.

  134. 134.

    WaterGirl

    @debit: That kitty cannot be the devil. Not possible. Okay, maybe a tiny bit, equal to the little bit of black I see on his head.
    :-) Good trick, and it’s okay that you laugh, but in a nice way, right?

  136. 136.

    Ecks

    @Violet: Most of the good parts anyway. It was kind of you to leave out the economic wankery (plus the “Megan McKitteh haz a sereeus”)

  137. 137.

    wazmo

    “LOLCAT Bible”? Ceiling Cat sez: “LOLCAT Koran”-so other kitthehs no left out of mah duviniteh! Fter all, Muezza’s hoomin was nice to her so she culd dreams of noms…

  139. 139.

    Amir_Khalid

    @wazmo:
    @MikeJ:
    I already suggested this way upthread. I suppose you could do an English version — after all, the LOLcat Bible isn’t in the original language.

  140. 140.

    wazmo

    Amir:

    Works for me.

    Here’s a LOLinated view of Muezza from Wikipedia:

    muezza (or mu’izza) (arabic= معزة) iz sed 2 has been islamic prophet muhammad favoriet kitteh.[1] accordin 2 legend… muhammad 1 day awoke at sound uv call 2 praya. preparin 2 attend… he began 2 clothe himself; howeva… he soon discovered muezza sleepin on sleeve uv hiz robe. ratha than wake ha… he used pair uv scissor 2 cut sleeve off… leavin kitteh undisturbed; when he returned frm praya… prophet received bow frm muezza in thankz. he then stroked hiz beloved kitteh three timez. accuracy uv thiz story iz not clear… as no referencez 2 it r made in quran or hadith. it iz also believed that when muhammad gave sermonz within hiz household… he would often hold muezza in hiz lap.[2] furtha anecdotez state that muhammad sumtimez used wata that muezza had drunk frm 4 wudu.[3] due primarili 2 love muhammad displayed 4 muezza… muslimz r traditionalli encouraged 2 regard kitteh as lovable n cherished creaturez. mistreatin animal iz seen as among most severe uv all crimez in islam.[4][5]”

  141. 141.

    Steeplejack

    @Joe Beese:

    They’re asking for a serious smiting.

    Okay, this is the best thing you have said ever! I’m (re)issuing you a lot of slack. Cudlip.

  144. 144.

    Susan Kitchens

    So, I decided to read Acts, chapter 2 (all about the Pentecost). And lo, I saw this:

    1 Wen teh dai of teh Pennycots cam, dey wer togedder in won plays.
    2 Den, holy moos, a sawnd lyk many kittehs yellin “MIAO!” cam frum teh ceiling and filld teh hawse wher teh d00ds wuz chillin.
    3 Dey sawd lickys of fyre dat cam ovr ther heds and omg it burnz! it burnz! Oh wait, no it dont!
    4 All of them d00ds wuz feelin’ teh Hover Cat,
    an dey all talkd in stranj LOLspeek lik:
    “I do say sir, what have we got here? I do believe there
    are tongues of fire-like substance coming upon our heads.
    and making us speak in quite the funniest way.”
    wtf iz wit dat? Cuz teh Hover Cat maed it happn, w00t!

  146. 146.

    DKF

    Sorry, John. I thought it was going to be too much for me, too, but dammit, that is some seriously funny shit! And I say this as a fine, upstanding Christian and a tenor in my church choir. I’m sorely tempted to substitute the Lolcat version the next time I’m called upon as a Sunday lector. As Peter says above, however, the joke probably wears pretty thin after the first few chapters.

  147. 147.

    gelfling545

    Well, it’s an improvement over the “market-based” translation one of Phyllis Schlafly’s sons was doing a while back.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks