Dave Weigel, at Slate: “The Line-Up for the First Republican Presidential Primary Debate: Cain, Johnson, Paul, Pawlenty, Santorum“.
Click the link for proper explanation & analysis, because the title here gives you mine.
This post is in: Election 2012, Excellent Links, Republican Stupidity, Assholes
Dave Weigel, at Slate: “The Line-Up for the First Republican Presidential Primary Debate: Cain, Johnson, Paul, Pawlenty, Santorum“.
Click the link for proper explanation & analysis, because the title here gives you mine.
Comments are closed.
WereBear
What, they couldn’t find Trump?
JCT
Cool, a new season of “The Biggest Loser” already?
Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity
@WereBear:
Well, they’re going to have some Santorum there, so, close enough?
cmorenc
Mittens may try to disassociate himself from the rest of the field by declining to get in the clown car and head for the circus, but he’s going to get sprayed with seltzer water and whipped cream and cherries and chocolate, and come out looking like one of the bozos anyway.
kdaug
O’Donnell just said that AP is refusing to even cover it.
cmorenc
@WereBear:
Trump is over in the sideshow tent, conducting a pre-circus freak show. Sarah Palin is playing the role of the “bearded lady” in that show, and Haley Barbour that of the half-hippo, half-human.
dmsilev
Clown Anti-Defamation Society, holding on line two.
Warren Terra
Well, helping to set the tone, from TPM:
Shadow's Mom
OK, totally, OT – but Eclectablog posted a pic of this item I’m sure John will jump on acquiring for Tunch.
http://goo.gl/ehHyD
Seriously, wouldn’t you want the before and after (of John) on that?
dmsilev
And this has to sting:
That’s like telling a preschooler that their batting average and fielding percentages are too low, so they’re being cut from the T-ball team.
WereBear
Aaaaaand… there’s yer problem. Obviously a Republican named this committee.
BGinCHI
One of these candidates needs to do what he would do if it was his first day in the joint: just go psycho on one of the others. Santorum beats the shit out of Pawlenty I might switch parties and vote for him.
BGinCHI
@Shadow’s Mom: Oh, I thought it meant the toothbrush was made out of cat.
Barb (formerly Gex)
I’m disappointed Crazy Eyes won’t be there saying the most ridiculous things.
Santiago
“….Sarah Palin and Donald Trump suffer from the reality that, as our mothers told us, ‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression.'”
http://www.quinnipiac.edu/x1295.xml?ReleaseID=1595
Mike Kay (Team America)
Bachmann asks God for some campaign tips:
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/05/michele_bachmann_wants_god_to.html
Mike Kay (Team America)
Why would you call Gary Johnson a clown? That’s the candidate Glenn’s endorsed.
Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity
@Mike Kay (Team America):
>Insert Act of God joke, here<
hilts
Rick Santorum tries to outcrazy Palin and Bachmann
h/t http://thinkprogress.org/2011/05/02/rick-santorum-bin-laden-political
MonkeyBoy
The smartest thing the Republicans might do is to not nominate any candidate for President. I don’t see any candidate that has even a remote chance of winning. The R’s might as well save the money they would blow on a campaign. (this might upset some because people can make money from a campaign though it is usually the consultants not the candidates).
Let the teabaggers get upset, accuse the Republicans of collusion, and run their own candidate. I doubt they would get any major money support even from the fatcats who have been bankrolling the teatards – the money was for control of the R party – not creating a new competitor.
Davis X. Machina
Iñigo Montoya. Paging Señor Iñigo Montoya…
Mike Kay (Team America)
@cmorenc: what ya got against hippo?!
Splitting Image
I’d do the Nelson Muntz laugh except we just elected Stephen Harper. The particular stupidities of American politics get a pass for the next little while.
On the other hand, I have to giggle at the prospect of a candidate named Santorum. Do you know what that stuff is?
Omnes Omnibus
How were these people chosen? They had to achieve a certain range of crazy? Romney, too sane; Bachmann, too crazy. But that doesn’t work because Santorum is in. I guess I just don’t understand their process.
JCT
@Splitting Image: Uh, maybe time to google Santorum and Dan Savage? It’s a *great* read.
@hilts: Whoa, that approaches full-scale Palin word salad, Impressive!
lonesomerobot
I think they’ve got all the factions represented here:
Herman Cain, former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza (CEO CRAZY)
Gary Johnson, former Governor of New Mexico (CEO LIBERTARIAN)
Ron Paul, U.S. Representative from Texas (CHRISTIAN LIBERTARIAN)
Tim Pawlenty, former Governor of Minnesota (TRYING TO BE EVERYTHING BUT CONVINCING NO ONE CRAZY)
Rick Santorum, former Senator from Pennsylvania (CHRISTIAN CRAZY)
Hal
Christ on crutches, Rick Santorum again? You lost, Rick. Get the fuck over it. Your name is synonymous with a dirty sex act now, thanks to Dan Savage. Move on, and join the Cato Institute.
cleek
wow.
so is this like some kind of pre-season JV scrimmage ?
Omnes Omnibus
@Hal: I understand that Dirty Sanchez would be his running mate.
lonesomerobot
@Hal: According to his wife, they asked God. And God said “OK!”
Poor Rick. How’s he supposed to get over it when God won’t let him?
handy
@Omnes Omnibus:
No way he picks a Messican I’m thinking someone more along the lines of Cleveland Steamer.
jacy
I will say that I clicked through to the Weigel article and read a line as “stunt candidate Freddy Kreuger,” which, you know, makes more sense.
lonesomerobot
The ads on my screen right now say
“ANN COULTER – FREE”
I actually would like to know how soon they can give me a world that is Ann Coulter-free.
freelancer
@lonesomerobot:
That’s fine if God told him to run. The American people can ask God if He really wants them to vote for him.
God: (Snicker)
The Dangerman
@MonkeyBoy:
I’ve briefly pondered this, too, but the anti-coattails would flip the House and crush state level Republicans. As it is, they are already likely losing the House, but it’s just by a matter of how much.
Edit: O/T, but, since we are talking vehicles in this thread, note this article on the possible stealthy Helicopter used in Pakistan:
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/05/aviation-geeks-scramble-to-i-d-osama-raids-mystery-copter/all/1
I love that the column is titled the “Danger Room”.
Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity
I seem to recall the Republican debates of ’07/08 were basically just a round robin of Reagan eulogies. I have a feeling we’ll be able to take the transcripts from the upcoming debates, omit the direct references to The Gipper, and be left with something along the line of the absurdist Zen of “Garfield Minus Garfield.”
WereBear
@jacy: Now if they did the debates like the old American Gladiators show, with those giant Qtips and all that… I’d watch.
Little Boots
Like so many here, I’ve got my issues with Obama.
But Jesus God, look at that line-up and imagine having to vote for any one of them. srrsly.
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@Omnes Omnibus: So, you’re saying Hot Carla’s electoral poison?
aimai
@cmorenc:
I think Mittens can’t fit in the clown car because there’s a dog tied to the roof.
aimai
Spaghetti Lee
@Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity:
Well, this time they can eulogize Bin Laden, since Obama apparently did such a horrible thing in killing him.
Omnes Omnibus
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel): Poison? No. A drag on the ticket, yes.
Cacti
Definitely sending the B-team out for this one.
Barb (formerly Gex)
@efgoldman: Ad algorithms have bad sarcasm detection. Like Republicans.
Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity
@Spaghetti Lee:
They’re gonna have to wrastle Canadian Observer for the rights to that gig.
Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity
@Barb (formerly Gex):
*snort*
lonesomerobot
@efgoldman: I get all Coulter and Trump for President. Definitely have to agree those algorithms are waaaay off in this case.
lonesomerobot
@freelancer: I’m guessing that’s exactly what God told the Santorums, but they just took it as a yes.
Omnes Omnibus
@lonesomerobot: I’ve got anti Scott Walker ads. Correct viewpoint, correct state.
Jay C
@Cacti:
“B-Team” would be a significant promotion for this lot: I liked this comment from the Slate link:
Averaged at least 1 percent. So which one dragged them up to the big one-oh? Ron Paul?
opie jeanne
@Warren Terra: They probably fell prey to the current scam that offers to show you a fake photo of the dead bin Laden, while it infects your computer with malicious software.
Well, one can hope.
Redshirt
Where were we in the campaign process in 2008? It feels wicked late, and this is the first Rethug debate? These guys? It’s an outright joke – an outsider will have to get the nomination if this is the core crew in the running.
Jeffro
Pawlenty’s an idiot for participating in this.
Yes, I know that was like super-duper insightful and everything, but still: does he think he’s going to a) get some free airtime out of this and/or b) look good by comparison?
You gotta love it when the whole Republican establishment is praying for and just dying, dying I say, to get behind the candidacy of…Mitch Daniels.
dmsilev
OK, so who is going to volunteer to take one for the team and actually watch this trainwreck-to-be? I’d volunteer, but (a) it’s more important that I shampoo the local squirrel population tomorrow and (b) I ditched cable a while back so couldn’t even if I wanted to.
cbear
I’m looking forward to seeing Santorum in the line-up. Ever since Alan Keyes made his appearance on the national scene in the debates I’ve been waiting for one of these batshit crazy goopers to go the full Monty—-whip a dead fetus out of his pocket, sling it on the stage, and scream, “LOOK AT IT, LOOK AT IT!!”
I think Santorum could be my man.
dmsilev
@Redshirt: It is quite late. I looked up the calendar a while back; basically, by the end of February 2007 just about all of the major candidates on both sides had actually launched their campaigns. The ‘exploratory committee’ phase was more like fall of 2006 and early winter 2007.
lonesomerobot
@Omnes Omnibus: I suppose if they were going by the county where I live, the Coulter and Trump angle works, but that doesn’t explain the ad currently at the bottom of my page:
ArabLounge – Meet Your Arab Princess!
Uh, what?
JCT
@Jeffro:
Complete with those awesome debate visuals of Obama next to Mr Tiny.
Omnes Omnibus
@dmsilev: I would love to help out, but I just don’t have that much masochism in me.
gnomedad
@Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity:
Something like this?
Omnes Omnibus
@lonesomerobot: That’s a leftover from the previous thread. I had it on that one.
Mike Kay (Team America)
I’m setting the over/under on Reagan mentions at 85.
Ash Can
I don’t care which Republicans are going to be participating in that debate. It’s still going to be twenty pounds of crazy in a five-pound sack.
Xecky Gilchrist
Pawlenty does have the distinction of actual tax-cut-caused fatalities on his watch. I’d say that puts him in the lead from the glibertarian POV.
lonesomerobot
I’m totally seeing Fred Thompson pull this out in a late-entry, last-minute convention thriller.
WereBear (itouch)
Gosh, who could top the Obama/McCain debates? The one where Obama said “I have a bracelet!”
Or the one where McCain wandered around the stage afterward?
Really, do these guys have that kind of potential?
kuvasz
More like a debate for the mayor of Crazytown. I bet the guy who bites off the head of a chicken wins in the Gamecock state of South Carolina.
Omnes Omnibus
@efgoldman:
All of them? At once?
Villago Delenda Est
The GOP is stuck with the ghost of Ronald Reagan looking over their shoulders for the next two decades, at least.
Suffern ACE
@dmsilev: I would have liked to actually see Buddy in the debate. He’s been asking me to stand with him via ads on this site for many months.
WereBear (itouch)
My ad was for “Turtle Shack”. Live tortoises with health certificates.
Honest ta goidness, I have no idea.
tammanycall
Huntsman filed the paperwork with the FEC to form a PAC on Friday. Guess he’s going to run? Or at least he’s testing the waters.
Suffern ACE
@WereBear (itouch): I am getting the new “Repeal Obamacare” with Obama as the Joker. I’d rather stand with Buddy.
JCT
I keep getting the visage of Coultergeist — so much for a decent night’s sleep.
Svensker
@efgoldman:
LOL
Omnes Omnibus
@WereBear (itouch): I suppose dead ones wouldn’t need health certificates.
Chad N Freude
I never pass up an opportunity to throw the proverbial wet blanket on a party, this is the audience these guys are going to appeal to.
SFAW
I think you misunderstood the ad’s purpose – it was a link to a she-male porn site. (Or so I’ve been told.)
Fixed for … consistency? Subject-verb agreement? Just ’cause?
Jeffro
@Mike Kay (Team America): I’ll take the under, but not by much. 5 clowns X 10 mentions each, w/ a few extra for Cain and Santorum…yeah, I’ll go with the under.
Jeffro
@tammanycall: If Daniels is out, Huntsman will go for it. I wish him lots of luck with the R base and all – he’ll certainly need it – but they both fulfill the establishment’s needs for Clown Antidote.
Mike in NC
Read that Newt is supposed to throw his hat into the ring in about a week. Be still my raging heart!
Elie
Y’all are just making me laugh too hard…
Some of the Best of Balloon Juice right here tonite!
Just Some Fuckhead
@freelancer:
Lemme know if you get through to Him. It’s my understanding He’s completely focused on making sure Matt and Mike lose Survivor, for His glory.
FlipYrWhig
@WereBear (itouch):
Better ask for the long form.
cckids
@dmsilev: The difference seems to be that there’s an incumbent president to run against, unlike the free-for-all after Bush/Cheney.
gocart mozart
Huntsman seems like a decent person which is a big enough liability in the Republican primary in itself but on top of that he worked for Satan himself for two years so he is pretty much toast. What is he thinking?
My money is on Trump. Out of the whole motley crew, he seems to have the most gravitas and comes across as the most presidential. I tried not to smirk too much while writing that.
mazareth
It’s probably been said by others, but this analogy is an insults to clowns.
Clowns are funny on purpose!
Anoniminous
I would watch if they all got naked and mud wrestled. To hell with their covert homo-eroticism! Bring it ON!, says I.
SFAW
Each to his/her own, I guess, but do you really want to see Trump, Cain, and Newtie doing that? I would think that would be as sure a sign of the End Times as anything.
Now, Bachmann, S. Palin, and Pammy Geller doing that, maybe I could go for …
I’d throw Coulter in there, but it’s not clear in which bout s/he would wrestle – although “her” participation might be a type of paper-less “long-form certificate”.
Shalimar
Was listening to Laura Ingraham on the radio yesterday and her theory was that Obama timed the Bin Laden raid to distract media attention from the Republican debate. Why he wouldn’t want people to focus on this pack of candidates is beyond me, but I don’t have Ingraham’s keen sense of paranoia to guide my logic.