Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Come on, man.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Consistently wrong since 2002

No one could have predicted…

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / First Clown Car Enters the Circus Ring Tomorrow

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90Comments

  3. 3.

    Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity

    @WereBear:

    Well, they’re going to have some Santorum there, so, close enough?

  4. 4.

    cmorenc

    Mittens may try to disassociate himself from the rest of the field by declining to get in the clown car and head for the circus, but he’s going to get sprayed with seltzer water and whipped cream and cherries and chocolate, and come out looking like one of the bozos anyway.

  6. 6.

    cmorenc

    @WereBear:

    What, they couldn’t find Trump?

    Trump is over in the sideshow tent, conducting a pre-circus freak show. Sarah Palin is playing the role of the “bearded lady” in that show, and Haley Barbour that of the half-hippo, half-human.

  8. 8.

    Warren Terra

    Well, helping to set the tone, from TPM:

    A trio of GOP senators over the course of the day today claimed to have seen a photo of the slain Osama bin Laden — even as the White House was announcing that it would not release any such photos. But now it appears that the senators — Scott Brown, Kelly Ayotte, and Saxby Chambliss, who is the ranking member of the Senate Intelligence Committee — were duped by a fake bin Laden death photo.

  9. 9.

    Shadow's Mom

    OK, totally, OT – but Eclectablog posted a pic of this item I’m sure John will jump on acquiring for Tunch.

    http://goo.gl/ehHyD

    Seriously, wouldn’t you want the before and after (of John) on that?

  10. 10.

    dmsilev

    And this has to sting:

    Buddy Roemer, the former congressman and governor of Louisiana, did not make the cut.

    That’s like telling a preschooler that their batting average and fielding percentages are too low, so they’re being cut from the T-ball team.

  11. 11.

    WereBear

    @Warren Terra: Saxby Chambliss, who is the ranking member of the Senate Intelligence Committee—were duped by a fake bin Laden death photo

    Aaaaaand… there’s yer problem. Obviously a Republican named this committee.

  12. 12.

    BGinCHI

    One of these candidates needs to do what he would do if it was his first day in the joint: just go psycho on one of the others. Santorum beats the shit out of Pawlenty I might switch parties and vote for him.

  14. 14.

    Barb (formerly Gex)

    I’m disappointed Crazy Eyes won’t be there saying the most ridiculous things.

  17. 17.

    Mike Kay (Team America)

    Why would you call Gary Johnson a clown? That’s the candidate Glenn’s endorsed.

  19. 19.

    hilts

    Rick Santorum tries to outcrazy Palin and Bachmann

    Barack Obama, who certainly is not someone I would say is known for fighting great causes in defense of American freedom, but I will give him credit in this, that he remained vigilant in going after Osama bin Laden… We have to continue to be vigilant in going after this enemy, when we’ve seen, if anything from this administration, is a lack of leadership, an indecisiveness, a confusion in dealing with the troubles that have erupted, particularly in the Middle East during this presidency. We’ve seen a lack of conviction, a lack of resolve.

    h/t http://thinkprogress.org/2011/05/02/rick-santorum-bin-laden-political

  20. 20.

    MonkeyBoy

    The smartest thing the Republicans might do is to not nominate any candidate for President. I don’t see any candidate that has even a remote chance of winning. The R’s might as well save the money they would blow on a campaign. (this might upset some because people can make money from a campaign though it is usually the consultants not the candidates).

    Let the teabaggers get upset, accuse the Republicans of collusion, and run their own candidate. I doubt they would get any major money support even from the fatcats who have been bankrolling the teatards – the money was for control of the R party – not creating a new competitor.

  21. 21.

    Davis X. Machina

    Senate Intelligence Committee

    Iñigo Montoya. Paging Señor Iñigo Montoya…

  23. 23.

    Splitting Image

    I’d do the Nelson Muntz laugh except we just elected Stephen Harper. The particular stupidities of American politics get a pass for the next little while.

    On the other hand, I have to giggle at the prospect of a candidate named Santorum. Do you know what that stuff is?

  24. 24.

    Omnes Omnibus

    How were these people chosen? They had to achieve a certain range of crazy? Romney, too sane; Bachmann, too crazy. But that doesn’t work because Santorum is in. I guess I just don’t understand their process.

  26. 26.

    lonesomerobot

    I think they’ve got all the factions represented here:

    Herman Cain, former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza (CEO CRAZY)
    Gary Johnson, former Governor of New Mexico (CEO LIBERTARIAN)
    Ron Paul, U.S. Representative from Texas (CHRISTIAN LIBERTARIAN)
    Tim Pawlenty, former Governor of Minnesota (TRYING TO BE EVERYTHING BUT CONVINCING NO ONE CRAZY)
    Rick Santorum, former Senator from Pennsylvania (CHRISTIAN CRAZY)

  27. 27.

    Hal

    Christ on crutches, Rick Santorum again? You lost, Rick. Get the fuck over it. Your name is synonymous with a dirty sex act now, thanks to Dan Savage. Move on, and join the Cato Institute.

  32. 32.

    jacy

    I will say that I clicked through to the Weigel article and read a line as “stunt candidate Freddy Kreuger,” which, you know, makes more sense.

  33. 33.

    lonesomerobot

    The ads on my screen right now say

    “ANN COULTER – FREE”

    I actually would like to know how soon they can give me a world that is Ann Coulter-free.

  35. 35.

    The Dangerman

    @MonkeyBoy:

    The smartest thing the Republicans might do is to not nominate any candidate for President.

    I’ve briefly pondered this, too, but the anti-coattails would flip the House and crush state level Republicans. As it is, they are already likely losing the House, but it’s just by a matter of how much.

    Edit: O/T, but, since we are talking vehicles in this thread, note this article on the possible stealthy Helicopter used in Pakistan:

    http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/05/aviation-geeks-scramble-to-i-d-osama-raids-mystery-copter/all/1

    I love that the column is titled the “Danger Room”.

  36. 36.

    Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity

    I seem to recall the Republican debates of ’07/08 were basically just a round robin of Reagan eulogies. I have a feeling we’ll be able to take the transcripts from the upcoming debates, omit the direct references to The Gipper, and be left with something along the line of the absurdist Zen of “Garfield Minus Garfield.”

  38. 38.

    Little Boots

    Like so many here, I’ve got my issues with Obama.

    But Jesus God, look at that line-up and imagine having to vote for any one of them. srrsly.

  45. 45.

    Studly Pantload, now with enhanced schmuckosity

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Well, this time they can eulogize Bin Laden, since Obama apparently did such a horrible thing in killing him.

    They’re gonna have to wrastle Canadian Observer for the rights to that gig.

  50. 50.

    Jay C

    @Cacti:

    “B-Team” would be a significant promotion for this lot: I liked this comment from the Slate link:

    “All participants have averaged at least 1 percent in national polls,” said party spokesman Joel Sawyer.

    Averaged at least 1 percent. So which one dragged them up to the big one-oh? Ron Paul?

  51. 51.

    opie jeanne

    @Warren Terra: They probably fell prey to the current scam that offers to show you a fake photo of the dead bin Laden, while it infects your computer with malicious software.

    Well, one can hope.

  52. 52.

    Redshirt

    Where were we in the campaign process in 2008? It feels wicked late, and this is the first Rethug debate? These guys? It’s an outright joke – an outsider will have to get the nomination if this is the core crew in the running.

  53. 53.

    Jeffro

    Pawlenty’s an idiot for participating in this.
    Yes, I know that was like super-duper insightful and everything, but still: does he think he’s going to a) get some free airtime out of this and/or b) look good by comparison?

    You gotta love it when the whole Republican establishment is praying for and just dying, dying I say, to get behind the candidacy of…Mitch Daniels.

  54. 54.

    dmsilev

    OK, so who is going to volunteer to take one for the team and actually watch this trainwreck-to-be? I’d volunteer, but (a) it’s more important that I shampoo the local squirrel population tomorrow and (b) I ditched cable a while back so couldn’t even if I wanted to.

  55. 55.

    cbear

    I’m looking forward to seeing Santorum in the line-up. Ever since Alan Keyes made his appearance on the national scene in the debates I’ve been waiting for one of these batshit crazy goopers to go the full Monty—-whip a dead fetus out of his pocket, sling it on the stage, and scream, “LOOK AT IT, LOOK AT IT!!”

    I think Santorum could be my man.

  56. 56.

    dmsilev

    @Redshirt: It is quite late. I looked up the calendar a while back; basically, by the end of February 2007 just about all of the major candidates on both sides had actually launched their campaigns. The ‘exploratory committee’ phase was more like fall of 2006 and early winter 2007.

  57. 57.

    lonesomerobot

    @Omnes Omnibus: I suppose if they were going by the county where I live, the Coulter and Trump angle works, but that doesn’t explain the ad currently at the bottom of my page:

    ArabLounge – Meet Your Arab Princess!

    Uh, what?

  58. 58.

    JCT

    @Jeffro:

    You gotta love it when the whole Republican establishment is praying for and just dying, dying I say, to get behind the candidacy of…Mitch Daniels.

    Complete with those awesome debate visuals of Obama next to Mr Tiny.

  63. 63.

    Ash Can

    I don’t care which Republicans are going to be participating in that debate. It’s still going to be twenty pounds of crazy in a five-pound sack.

  64. 64.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    Pawlenty does have the distinction of actual tax-cut-caused fatalities on his watch. I’d say that puts him in the lead from the glibertarian POV.

  66. 66.

    WereBear (itouch)

    Gosh, who could top the Obama/McCain debates? The one where Obama said “I have a bracelet!”

    Or the one where McCain wandered around the stage afterward?

    Really, do these guys have that kind of potential?

  67. 67.

    kuvasz

    More like a debate for the mayor of Crazytown. I bet the guy who bites off the head of a chicken wins in the Gamecock state of South Carolina.

  69. 69.

    Villago Delenda Est

    The GOP is stuck with the ghost of Ronald Reagan looking over their shoulders for the next two decades, at least.

  70. 70.

    Suffern ACE

    @dmsilev: I would have liked to actually see Buddy in the debate. He’s been asking me to stand with him via ads on this site for many months.

  74. 74.

    JCT

    I keep getting the visage of Coultergeist — so much for a decent night’s sleep.

  78. 78.

    SFAW

    I actually would like to know how soon they can give me a world that is Ann Coulter-free.

    I think you misunderstood the ad’s purpose – it was a link to a she-male porn site. (Or so I’ve been told.)

    Averaged at least 1 percent. So which one dragged them up to the big one-oh? Ron RuPaul?

    Fixed for … consistency? Subject-verb agreement? Just ’cause?

  80. 80.

    Jeffro

    @tammanycall: If Daniels is out, Huntsman will go for it. I wish him lots of luck with the R base and all – he’ll certainly need it – but they both fulfill the establishment’s needs for Clown Antidote.

  81. 81.

    Mike in NC

    Read that Newt is supposed to throw his hat into the ring in about a week. Be still my raging heart!

  82. 82.

    Elie

    Y’all are just making me laugh too hard…

    Some of the Best of Balloon Juice right here tonite!

  83. 83.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @freelancer:

    That’s fine if God told him to run. The American people can ask God if He really wants them to vote for him.

    Lemme know if you get through to Him. It’s my understanding He’s completely focused on making sure Matt and Mike lose Survivor, for His glory.

  85. 85.

    cckids

    @dmsilev: The difference seems to be that there’s an incumbent president to run against, unlike the free-for-all after Bush/Cheney.

  86. 86.

    gocart mozart

    Huntsman seems like a decent person which is a big enough liability in the Republican primary in itself but on top of that he worked for Satan himself for two years so he is pretty much toast. What is he thinking?

    My money is on Trump. Out of the whole motley crew, he seems to have the most gravitas and comes across as the most presidential. I tried not to smirk too much while writing that.

  87. 87.

    mazareth

    It’s probably been said by others, but this analogy is an insults to clowns.

    Clowns are funny on purpose!

  88. 88.

    Anoniminous

    I would watch if they all got naked and mud wrestled. To hell with their covert homo-eroticism! Bring it ON!, says I.

  89. 89.

    SFAW

    I would watch if they all got naked and mud wrestled. To hell with their covert homo-eroticism! Bring it ON!, says I.

    Each to his/her own, I guess, but do you really want to see Trump, Cain, and Newtie doing that? I would think that would be as sure a sign of the End Times as anything.

    Now, Bachmann, S. Palin, and Pammy Geller doing that, maybe I could go for …

    I’d throw Coulter in there, but it’s not clear in which bout s/he would wrestle – although “her” participation might be a type of paper-less “long-form certificate”.

  90. 90.

    Shalimar

    Was listening to Laura Ingraham on the radio yesterday and her theory was that Obama timed the Bin Laden raid to distract media attention from the Republican debate. Why he wouldn’t want people to focus on this pack of candidates is beyond me, but I don’t have Ingraham’s keen sense of paranoia to guide my logic.

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