Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

No one could have predicted…

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Not all heroes wear capes.

One way or another, he’s a liar.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

If a good thing happens for a bad reason, it’s still a good thing.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

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Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    Rosalita

    Glad you are keeping up the Balloon Juice Internet Tradition of coming for the politics and staying for the pets. Beautiful dog!

  2. 2.

    PurpleGirl

    That’s a nice picture of Max. Good timing; we needed a pet picture about now, I think.

  5. 5.

    Culture of Truth

    With every new Tunch pic it’s 13% more cat.

    I kid Tunch, I kid.

  8. 8.

    Shinobi

    So gorgeous. I just suppressed the urge to say “Who’s a good boy!” at my monitor. (My coworkers would not have been surprised though.)

  9. 9.

    geg6

    Holy shit, Tim! Cut your grass! ;-)

    And because I can’t say it enough…I love, love, love, love, love Max!

    And I especially love that you didn’t go the dog mutilation route. Makes him especially adorable.

  15. 15.

    geg6

    @Hal:

    No fucking way I’m clicking on that link. Every GOPer in the nation could look exactly like George Clooney (or whatever himbo a girl might lust after, and not that Clooney is a himbo) and it still wouldn’t make him fuckable or vote worthy. Not for women with active neurons, anyway.

    And seriously? Aaron Schock? THIS is the best they can do? For real? He’s not even what I’d call cute. Average at best.

  16. 16.

    Comrade Mary

    @Hal: My GAWD. Look, a six pack can be impressive (and honestly, I find guys quite lovely without them), but Scheck either has multiple hernias or else he’s going to be starring in the next Alien movie against his will.

    (If he looked good, I’d say so, even if he is a Republican. Fuck, I’m on record as thinking Harper looks likeable with his glasses on. But honestly, this is just disgusting.)

  17. 17.

    Sly

    @Morbo:

    When the Pentagon’s own studies show that military effeminization may have an extremely costly impact on recruiting and retention, when Islamists have shown their willingness to sexually brutalize American female reporters, why would John Boehner’s House Republicans be caving to political correctness?

    Guys who think playing dress-up in 18th century costumes is a necessary component of political activism shouldn’t be complaining about “effeminization.” Just sayin’.

  19. 19.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Hal:

    I think you do 3 sets of Photoshop Crunches a day to get those abs. Also, isn’t there something more important for him to be doing, like, you know, being a congressman and shit?

  21. 21.

    Roger Moore

    @Hal:

    Is Aaron (I swear I’m not gay, no really) Schock’s chest the next GOP frontrunner?

    Constitutionally ineligible to run until 2016.

  22. 22.

    RossInDetroit

    Holy shit, Tim! Cut your grass!

    I just finished giving our grass a trim. Found three fat morel mushrooms and probably mowed down even more.

  23. 23.

    bkny

    Max! this dog is so freakin gorgeous. although that photo of him zonked out in his chair last week will always be my favorite… lol

  24. 24.

    vonhonkington

    @RossInDetroit
    Knowing that you mowed some morels into them, I know some people who would probably pay you good money for your lawn trimmings, then freebase em out of a spoon (with some butter, of course).

  26. 26.

    slag

    @WaterGirl: Yeah. You’re probably right. Apparently, that’s a really easy mistake to make. I once ended up at Applebee’s salad bar after mistaking it for Walgreen’s abortion clinic. Or was it the other way around? All of Real America looks alike to me.

  27. 27.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    We were gonna have Batman’s front claws removed since he can’t use them correctly and he gets stuck in everything. But we found these.

    Haven’t gotten them yet but they look promising. (Batman is an indoor cat, BTW.)

  28. 28.

    WaterGirl

    @slag: Hmm, I thought they gave out a gift certificate for the Applebee’s salad bar with every abortion, but it does get confusing at times.

    And maybe after you move all the mammograms and pap smears from planned parenthood to Walgreens, maybe 90% of what’s left really are abortions?

  29. 29.

    piratedan

    well Jan is back on her drugs….. h/t to the GOS Joan McCarter

    dailykos.com/story/2011/05/09/974545/-Brewer-will-appeal-Arizona-immigration-law-injunction-to-Supre…

    good use of my tax dollars, she spends them on this and goes to public panhandling for the border wall project, new and improved with prison labor!

    sorry guys, every time I think I can breathe easy with brief respites of sanity, this lady opens her mouth again and out comes another nugget of policy making via tourretes syndrome.

  33. 33.

    retr327

    That’s a very handsome Dachsund you have there. Whatever happened to Max?

  34. 34.

    kc

    I haven’t commented on Max before, but I feel compelled to say that he is a handsome boy.

  35. 35.

    slag

    @WaterGirl: Well, even if Planned Parenthood only did abortions, I’d be all for it. I’m with those who think the reason Republicans throw out shit like this is that, just in the process of correcting it, we end up sounding like abortions are inherently a bad thing.

    Like if I said that 90% of what Applebee’s does is serve salad, so I’m not gonna patronize Applebee’s. And then you–someone who loves Applebee’s–come back and say that no, Applebee’s offers much more than salad; it offers fried onion rings, fried chicken, fried tomatoes, etc. Implicit in that conversation is that salad is a bad thing and that nobody in their right mind wants to buy salad.

    I kind of hate these people. With a mildly fiery passion.

  36. 36.

    goblue72

    @Just Some Fuckhead: We just started using SoftPaws on our cat. She’s been tearing up our furniture for the past 6 months and no amount of claw trimming or ever more exotic scratching posts were helping.

    So far so good with the SoftPaws. She tries to scratch stuff but, for the most part, can’t. She does chew one off every now and then, but we just pop a new one on.

  37. 37.

    goblue72

    Mayor of Newton, Mass. (in Barney Frank’s district) just announced he’s running against Scott Brown. He’s a former aide for Kerry and Clinton, as well as an Iraq War vet. And not that it should matter, but also the first African-American mayor in Massachusetts.

    What’s up Mass-holes? I move out of the state and then you turn around and finally start electing people of color?

  38. 38.

    goblue72

    I got 2 completely different comments in mod. Is there a link somewhere to all the verboten words for the WP filter?

  40. 40.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @slag:

    The problem with Planned Parenthood is that the entire idea is that sex should have penalties, like childbirth and caring for a child for 18 years, as a deterrent to spreading your legs, you lousy slut, and corrupting our boys!

    Preventing pregnancies is the last thing the wowsers want to do. Which is why they’ve targeted PP. Keep in mind that these people also don’t want cervical cancer immunizations for girls, either, as it removes yet another potential punishment for daring to have sex.

  41. 41.

    Amir_Khalid

    Handsome dog is handsome.

    @Hal:
    I’m surprised at Schock. How does a politician pose for beefcake pix, as though he were The Situation, and expect not to become a laughingstock? What were his people thinking when they let him do this?

  42. 42.

    singfoom

    @Villago Delenda Est: Yep, this. What’s the outcome when you get rid of real sex education outside of abstinence only and outlaw abortions?

    Babies, they happen. It may seem like insanity because it seems so irrational, but if you squint and imagine that your goal is to make sure no one just has sex for fun, but only to have babies, it all makes sense.

    Lord, please save me and the rest of our society from your zealous followers who don’t want anyone to have any fun sex.

  43. 43.

    Comrade Mary

    @Amir_Khalid: Didn’t stop Scott Brown, did it? Of course, Brown has a reasonably nice body, versus that grotesque collection of torsions that Schock is carrying around.

  44. 44.

    Amir_Khalid

    @Comrade Mary:
    IIRC, Scott Brown posed for his beefcake pix when he was a young man, years before going into politics. So he has that excuse. Shock, on the other hand, was a serving Congressman when he posed.

  45. 45.

    asiangrrlMN

    Max is just a handsome boy. There’s no getting around it.

    @Cliff in NH: Molly is such a happy and healthy girl. I love the way she’s bouncing

    around. @Roger Moore: Whew! Glad to know. Otherwise, I would lose Yutsy’s vote to Mr. Six-Pack Abs.

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Please don’t. If the SoftPaws don’t work, try to find him another home.

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