Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

No one could have predicted…

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

The words do not have to be perfect.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

This blog will pay for itself.

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Reader Interactions

112Comments

  1. 1.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I can’t believe ABL has another closed thread! And she’s taunting me!

    Goddammit!

  2. 2.

    bkny

    hope you’re keeping tunch fat and happy:

    A Cleveland man was attacked by a housecat Friday afternoon and the man’s injuries are so severe that he had to be taken by air ambulance to Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston. …

    At some point during the attack, the man and the cat reportedly were injured by a knife the man was holding. The man was taken to Cleveland Regional Medical Center before being transported to Houston.

    http://www.yourhoustonnews.com/cleveland/news/article_3f8b7022-782a-11e0-b12d-001cc4c002e0.html

  5. 5.

    Suffern ACE

    I had no idea there was any sort of pleasure that you would feel the least bit guilty over…

  12. 12.

    kdaug

    The Dog Days Are Over

    “Florence writes her best songs when she’s drunk or has a hangover, because that’s when the freedom, the feral music comes, creating itself wildly from the fragments gathered in her notebooks and in her head.”

    Earworm of the last fortnight. I’ll give it 5:1 odds it’ll stick in yer head.

  14. 14.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Prince is a crazy ass dude, but they guy can can put on one hell of a live show. Even if he occasionally gets someone like Doug E. Doug to open for him.

  16. 16.

    burnspbesq

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    My biggest problem with Bolton? He so thoroughly mangled “Since I Fell for You” that entire generations grew to hate what is actually a great, great song, and never heard Lenny Welch’s original recording.

  20. 20.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Reposted from the dead thread below. I have just given the boxers a marrow bone each. Cueball is merrily gumming his (due to his lack of teeth), while Judy went into the bedroom and buried hers in my bed. She is now laying atop of the crumpled up comforter in a princess and the pea sort of way, growling at Cueball everytime he goes near. I hope she lets me in when it is time to go to bed.

  21. 21.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    Yep. Go with that. That will be fun for everyone.

    *wets thumb and rubs it sensuously around one glistening nipple*

    Yeah. I think you might be right. It kind of looked like she was coming on to me in that picture she posted.

  24. 24.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    Speaking of Orly, did you hear about her most recent epic fail trying to insert the POTUS eligibility thing into a lawsuit about offshore drilling in New Orleans? It was brilliant, she had show and tell exhibits and everything, and her cellphone went off twice while she was giving her oral argument. The judge reminded her that she had violated at least three local rules and then let her do her thing. There is a transcript up at The Fogbow from one of the Obots who attended the hearing.

  25. 25.

    lamh34

    Adele’s 21 album is my current fav album. I listen to it whenever I can.

    Love her.

    BTW, any Adele fans out there, check out Rolling Stone’s interview with Adele. It was very good. Homegirl actually has very bad stage fright.

  26. 26.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    You should be listening to Evanescence.

    Ethereal vocals and heavy metal guitar. Yes, I know, the band broke up, but the guitarists found a vocalist who sounds like Amy Lee and reformed as “We Are the Fallen” and Amy Lee found some more guitars and will have an album out Real Soon Now.

    They’re both great. It’s like one of my favorite bands reproduced by fission! Woo hoo!!!

  28. 28.

    harris collingwood

    you don’t look a day over 90, timeless houri. you should be listening to:

    robert plant – band of joy
    posies – blood/candy
    holy ghost! – holy ghost!
    school of seven bells – disconnect from desire
    neil young – le noise

    that’s just the newish stuff. add the beatles mono remasters, the judee sill reissues, the new live leonard cohen, and the resissue of the cure’s disintegration and that will keep you going until, say, 102.

    thanks to everyone who offered me good wishes. you help me more than you’ll ever know. and the shelters thank you for your donations. i got this great long handwritten note from the director of the shelter from which my sister adopted Trixie and Mr Chompers.

    i’ll try to be a more reliable commenter, now that i’m coming out of my stupor, now and then.

  37. 37.

    jl

    I never cease to wonder that some people never cease to wonder at the whimsical behavior of Balloon Juice front page posters. That is what they do, dammit.

  38. 38.

    lamh34

    @Omnes Omnibus: I think it’s a combo of her persona and her obvious effort to make it about her instrument, i.e. her voice, and NOT about looks, dance hooks, or choreographed moves.

    It’s no longer the era where it was okay to dance, but you HAD to sing too. People forget that Michael Jackson was a great dancer, but he’s singing, especially his Jackson 5 days, but also his earlier solo work and even some of his “wacko Jacko” work, was pretty good too.

    I think it’s a recent phenom that the voice in no longer the thing that makes or breaks an artist, back in the day, it wasn’t okay to be cute or pretty and just be able to carry a tune and make a hot video (I kinda blame MJ for that, his video work is kinda what started the now commonplace choreographed videos now-a-days…blame that on Thriller, IMHO) you also need to carry those damn notes live.

    I find it funny how much scandal and ridicule Milli Vanilli received back in the day, when darn near everybody seems to “auto-tune” themselves to death (…Ke$ha, J-Lo, Britney). If only Milli and Vanill had waited a bit, they could have auto-tuned their own voices and be a hit.

    I like that Adele has said that her voice is the focus, so she makes a conscious effort to not have all the theatrics that are usually involved in videos today. I appreciate her for that consideration.

    Sorry, about my soapbox…lol

  40. 40.

    Hawes

    Hey, John, did you see that Hines Ward’s dance partner was injured? Apparently he threw a crackback block at her during the flamenco.

  42. 42.

    MikeJ

    @slag:

    I hear DougJ does a mean Raspberry Beret.

    When I imagine him singing it, it’s more Warren Zevon with REM(aka Hindu Love Gods) than Prince. Which is cool, ’cause I love that album, but it ain’t prince.

  43. 43.

    Hal

    I really like Adele too, but if I hear Rolling in the Deep one more time…

    Set Fire to the Rain and Someone Like You are great, and get no airplay. Why is that?

  45. 45.

    Hungry Joe

    @handy

    And “Afraid of Everyone” and “Bloodbuzz Ohio.” I’ve reached this odd point where everybody but The National sounds like crap. It’ll pass, I know, but …

  47. 47.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @MikeJ:

    I hear DougJ does a mean Raspberry Beret.

    Yes, but he pronounces “beret” as bah-rett, so it’s a little awkward.

  48. 48.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @lamh34: The soapbox speech was fine. What is weird is that Mme Omnibus, who, of course, has few flaws and all of them tiny, can be a bit judgmental of other women’s looks. With Adele, however, she reacts like she would to Aretha or Janis; you know, Aretha can wear any goddamned hat or dress she wants, she’s Aretha, damn it.

  52. 52.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    Sadly, I’m not John. Although as I am an unmarried 92 year old with a dicky knee who never gets out of the house, I can see how you could get us mixed up.

    John goes out one night a week to play bingo. Climb down off his nuts.

  55. 55.

    MikeJ

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Everytime I walk through the grocery store I find myself singing about a Raspberry sorbet, the kind you buy in a groc-er-ree store, and if it was warm she wouldn’t eat much more.

  58. 58.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Violet: Yeah, I knew that, but who wants to admit that they like contestants from American Idol?

    Well … me. Kelly Clarkson’s my Guilty Pleasure.

  59. 59.

    Corner Stone

    @Hawes: That’s just quality ballbusting.
    I don’t care what some fictional female 92 yr old DougJ has to say.

  60. 60.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @piratedan: Uma Thurman was in it.

    Sorry, that movie was an abomination. They drank tea all the time. Tea. In the Avengers.

  62. 62.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Been a rough day for me. Broke up with one of my girlfriends and it didn’t go well. Little firecracker fell in love, I think. Anyway, she started calling the house – no idea how she got the number – and she thought my 10 year old son was the girl with whom I was cheating on her. I don’t know what she said to him but now he wants to know what a “cunt” is.

    Love is a many splintered thing.

  66. 66.

    lamh34

    @Omnes Omnibus: Oh, I’ll admit, that the fact that Adele ain’t a size 0 makes me love her more. I hate on Beyonce not so much cause she has a bad voice, Beyonce is actually a damn good singer, but I am so jealous of her “boogie” as RuPaul would say…lol.

    The fact the Adele has a voice that even Beyonce says “reminds her of God” and NOT a “bootylicious” (to some) body like Beyonce makes me love her more…lol.

    BBW need to stick together…lol.

  67. 67.

    piratedan

    @Omnes Omnibus: I know, the disappointment was palpable when they attempted to bring that to the big screen, Fiennes was okay I suppose, and perhaps they thought that they had the look down with Uma but she generated none of that playful warmth that Rigg brought to the part.

  69. 69.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @piratedan: Every guy in my Junior High School had a hopeless crush on Diana Rigg. My brother bought a Lotus Elan, largely because of that show.

  72. 72.

    tim serbo

    @Comrade Mary: oh yes oh yes yes i said yes again yes…where was i! rock your baby is so great. that vocal, fuck. kc and the sunshine band avant la lettre. they had the sound down from the off, didn’t they?

  78. 78.

    piratedan

    @Omnes Omnibus: well I would even be willing to see what Daniel Craig or Mark Strong might do, I think Knightly could do it, but I also think that Emma Stone, Emma Watson or even Thandie Newton

  79. 79.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    This is the song me and DougJ are going to do as a duet at the first Balloon Juice karaoke night. We’re still arguing over who does which part.

  84. 84.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Little person, you insensitive twit!

    Sorry Miss Manners. A fuckhead would never use “little person” where midget clearly belongs.

  87. 87.

    handy

    @piratedan:

    That was covered a few days ago in one of the threads about the wingtard freakout over Common at the White House.

  90. 90.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Comrade Mary: With me only a 32 a and DougJ no more than a B, neither one of us can do Dolly or Kenny. Any other music suggestions?

  97. 97.

    burnspbesq

    @srv:

    “What should be my upper limit for scalped tix to see Adele?”

    How much money could you get if you pawned everything you own?

  98. 98.

    burnspbesq

    The new Airborne Toxic Event and Fleet Foxes records are both really good.

  108. 108.

    Turgidson

    New Fleet Foxes ftw. Enjoyed last year (deerhunter and beach house albums especially) more than this year so far. But there’s still time.

  110. 110.

    BruceFromOhio

    I’m 92 and I don’t get out much. What else should I be listening to?

    Combat Rock, by the Clash.
    Anything by Black Flag or Henry Rollins.
    Night Train, Oscar Peterson.

  112. 112.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @opal:

    It’s always about you, isn’t it?

    Gah, you noticed that too? I guess I just have moxie.

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