Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

In my day, never was longer.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

This fight is for everything.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

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Real Murrikans Do This

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In all seriousness, I really couldn’t give two hoots in hell how much money Newt Gingrich owes or owed Tiffany’s. If it cost him six digits to get his latest Cindy McCain clone and he thought it was worth it, more power to him. Lord knows he’s been looting the rubes long enough that he should have some scratch lying around, so get off on your bad self Newt. I do realize that if John Kerry owed half a million to a jewelry company, the media would spend months tripping all over themselves looking for excuses to call him a faggy Frenchmen with an affinity for windsurfing and diamonds, so there is that. Really, though, the reason I am posting this is because of this image on the Politico page:

Maybe I am dating myself, but I can’t be the only one out there who thinks Newt is looking more and more like Mayor Teddy Burnside (aka Richard Paul) from the 70’s show Carter Country.

Handle it Roy, Handle it!

Reader Interactions

45Comments

  2. 2.

    eemom

    you’re dating YOURSELF? Sheeyit, how many times do we gotta tell you there’s a gazillion lovely ladies out there looking for guys who love animals AND clean the house??

  3. 3.

    Splitting Image

    All I want to know is what kind of drugs they had to feed him to get that mean-looking sneer off of his face and get him to look sort of non-evil for as long as it took to take that picture.

    Gingrich is the go-to example for every mother who’s told a child not to make faces or it “might freeze like that”.

  5. 5.

    gogol's wife

    I’m sorry, Richard Paul looks like a nice, affable fellow. And as I recall, not a bad actor.

  11. 11.

    Cat Lady

    Bill Maher on Tweety’s show tonight said that Newt would never be elected, because no one wants to look at him – that he’s ugly on the inside, and too ugly on the outside. This pic of Callista was also the butt of Maher’s New Rules, so I give Newt no more than a week to drop out. These WATB Republicans can dish it but sure can’t take it.

  12. 12.

    Mike Kay (Team America)

    remember way back when, when flip-flopping was a character flaw. how it was pandering, callow, hollow, craven, inauthentic, duplicitous, even cowardly. Now, according to the corporate media, it’s a sign of leadership.

    the pathetic Howard Fineman was on Hardball tonight sayin give Newt a break, he was only speaking his mind.

  13. 13.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    Jeez, somebody besides me remembers “Carter Country”?!

    And no, Gingrich still looks like a smug sociopathic asshole.

  14. 14.

    Special Patrol Group

    Maybe I am dating myself

    And maybe you’re carbon dating yourself.

  16. 16.

    Mike Kay (Team America)

    @Cat Lady: that’s what Paris Hilton will look like in 40 years. The painfully narrow nose job. the bleached hair. the duck lips. with the deer in the head lights eyes the occurs after having the droopy eyelids and bags under the eyes trimmed back.

  17. 17.

    MikeJ

    @Grumpy Code Monkey: Actually I mentioned it a few weeks ago when the news was Haley Barbour wasn’t going to run and everybody was calling him Boss Hogg. Not something Iḿ proud of though.

  18. 18.

    Mike in NC

    I do realize that if John Kerry owed half a million to a jewelry company, the media would spend months tripping all over themselves looking for excuses to call him a faggy Frenchmen with an affinity for windsurfing and diamonds, so there is that.

    And let’s not forget how he had to ask for the fancy schmancy mustard on his sandwich. Real American yellow stuff just wasn’t good enough. Elitist!

  19. 19.

    Mustang Bobby

    @MikeJ: So what we’re saying is that the Republican field is looking like the supporting cast of 1970’s sitcoms…

    Can the ticket of John Travolta and Anson Williams be too much to ask?

  22. 22.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Cat Lady: It was either Betty Cracker or Ms. Polly over at Rumproast that coined the phrase “Queen of the Cream Cheese People” with regards to Cindy McCain and her ilk. I think it is perfect.

  25. 25.

    rob!

    That same actor played Jerry Falwell in the “People vs. Larry Flynt”, so it all comes full circle.

  26. 26.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    sure if newt made the money honestly legally, he can spend it on what ever he likes. even icing out his lady friend.

    the sad thing is, newt won’t be around long enough for this to create cognitive dissonance amongst his base, when they go to vilify the next nouveau riche celebrity or athlete that gets robbed.

  27. 27.

    JITC

    In all seriousness, I really couldn’t give two hoots in hell how much money Newt Gingrich owes or owed Tiffany’s.

    Why it might matter – the Republicans are fond of putting the blame for the sh*tty economy on the average American who dared to go into debt and buy things they had no business buying. They get on their high and mighty horse and claim that it has nothing to do with the aggressive marketing of sub-prime loans or pushing credit cards on people left-right-and-forward. It’s the fault of the stupid American public for believing these sales pitches and loan officers.

    Now, as usual, Gingrich is a perpetrator of the very behavior he publicly denounces as detrimental to the American system.

  29. 29.

    dmsilev

    It matters not because Gingrich spent the cost of an average house on shiny trinkets. It matters because he owed that much money on shiny trinkets which were purchased on credit. The next time he starts blathering about “live within our means” or somesuch, the phrase “practice what you preach” should be rammed down his throat with a hydraulic press.

  31. 31.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    Forget John Kerry owing a half mil to Tiffany’s. Can you imagine if Obama was found to owe a couple hundred bucks to a jewelry store? The right-screamers would make themselves hoarse yelling about bling and rap videos. Then they’d act very sad that anyone would suggest that there was anything racist about their hollering.

  33. 33.

    SFAW

    Then they’d act very sad that scorched-earth anyone who would suggest that there was anything racist about their hollering.

    Sad? I don’t think that’s an emotion of which they’re capable. Unless “feeling sorry for yourself” is the same thing as “feeling sad”.

  35. 35.

    JITC

    @Suffern ACE:

    Exactly. Or every anti-gay Republican/evangelist who has ever been caught having a gay affair.

    Or like having multiple affairs and impeaching a sitting president of the United States for doing the same.

    Oh.

    Wait.

  36. 36.

    JITC

    But actually, Suffern ACE, it’s worse than what Bennett did.

    Bill Bennett is a major hypocrite, that’s for sure. But Gingrich has proven to not only be a hypocrite but a hypocrite that actually passes legislation and directs Congress to hold votes that punish people for doing exactly what he does every day of his life.

    He intends to run on a platform of passing draconian, average American punishing legislation that cuts needed services, undermines worker rights and benefits, and more because he believes we average Americans (and the federal government) screwed the country up by borrowing/spending more than we actually have.

    So WE must pay for this terrible behavior.

    Don’t pay attention to the fact that he is a perpetrator of the very same behavior that he claims underlies the “need” for his economy-destroying proposals. How will he pay? He will get a tax cut so he can go create jobs.

  38. 38.

    jrs1

    To me it’s more like Burnside looks like Frank Luntz with Gingrich’s hair. He’s trying to throw you off by parting it the other way. And by being significantly less craggy.

  40. 40.

    Brachiator

    Real Murrikans Do This

    This just in. Rick Santorum says McCain doesn’t understand interrogation.

    Former Sen. Rick Santorum said Tuesday that Sen. John McCain, who spent 5 1/2 years enduring brutal treatment at the hands of his North Vietnamese captors, doesn’t know how effective waterboarding and other harsh interrogation techniques can be. The Republican presidential contender insisted the tactics led the United States to al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden

    Words fail me.

  41. 41.

    madscientist

    Sully posted this about Newt:

    he’s an enthusiast and narcissist who uses the rubric of ideas to advance his own ambition. He’s a fraud

    All I could think of was a pot and a kettle, both completely correct.

  42. 42.

    Dr. Squid

    @gogol’s wife: That role probably typecast him forever. That and his resemblance to a certain TV preacher from Lynchburg, VA transformed a decent guy from the SF Valley into the southeastern blowhard seen on the teevee and the movies.

  44. 44.

    nicteis

    Seems to me, if you draw a line from Old Newt to Now Newt to Burnside, and project it another five years, you get Benny Hill.

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