• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Republicans in disarray!

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Bark louder, little dog.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread

Open Thread

by $8 blue check mistermix|  May 19, 20116:58 am| 57 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

What is the best part of waking up? I’ve always wondered.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « What Are You Gonna Believe…
Next Post: Predicting Earthquakes »

Reader Interactions

57Comments

  1. 1.

    geg6

    May 19, 2011 at 7:02 am

    The commercial gets it mostly right. It’s coffee. But definitely not Folger’s. Gimme my Dunkin Donuts! Now!

  2. 2.

    henqiguai

    May 19, 2011 at 7:04 am

    So, let me get this straight. ABL puts up a couple of threads on the beauty of Black women, and now suddenly Balloon-Juice is awash in “Meet Real Guys” ads featuring an array of Black men. Coincidence ? I think not…

    I blame ABL.

    Oh, and the best part of waking up ? It’s all about the actually waking up. YMMV.

  3. 3.

    DecidedFenceSitter

    May 19, 2011 at 7:09 am

    At this point of being a new parent – the fact that it means I got sleep. Not enough, but some.

  4. 4.

    Josie

    May 19, 2011 at 7:16 am

    Definitely coffee. Really good coffee with a touch of cream.

  5. 5.

    Alex S.

    May 19, 2011 at 7:18 am

    Singing birds…

    Here’s some DougJ bait:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/may/19/david-brooks-big-idea-society

  6. 6.

    kindness

    May 19, 2011 at 7:22 am

    Well, that depends who you are waking up with now, doesn’t it?

  7. 7.

    Linda Featheringill

    May 19, 2011 at 7:25 am

    People who care.

    I may be fat, ugly, and stupid, as well as poor as Job’s turkey, but I am loved. :-)

  8. 8.

    Tim F.

    May 19, 2011 at 7:25 am

    A pile of dog barf starring a third of dinner and most of a tennis ball.

  9. 9.

    gil mann

    May 19, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Wearing a jockstrap filled with instant coffee grounds. Yeah, I know, I took the wrong message away from the old Folgers jingle, but don’t knock it till ya try it!

  10. 10.

    biff diggerence

    May 19, 2011 at 7:26 am

    Never wondered about that.

    Only one thought possible:

    I’m not freakin dead.

  11. 11.

    cintibud

    May 19, 2011 at 7:30 am

    Rolling over and going back to sleep

  12. 12.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    May 19, 2011 at 7:31 am

    As long as you wake up on the right side of the dirt it’s all good!

  13. 13.

    Stephen1947

    May 19, 2011 at 7:35 am

    I don’t much care for waking up in the morning (or after naps) but I also don’t really like going to bed in the evening either. I guess I just don’t like change very much.

  14. 14.

    WereBear

    May 19, 2011 at 7:41 am

    The cat face filling your vision.

  15. 15.

    billgerat

    May 19, 2011 at 7:44 am

    I guarantee you, it ain’t Folgers in your cup. I can’t stand the Red Death anymore.

  16. 16.

    ChrisS

    May 19, 2011 at 7:45 am

    I don’t know …. I’ve been suffering through anxiety and panic attacks for the last two weeks. Mornings are the worst.

  17. 17.

    Phyllis

    May 19, 2011 at 7:45 am

    @WereBear: I miss waking up like that.

  18. 18.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    May 19, 2011 at 7:46 am

    coffee is a pot at the end of a rainbow, when i am just waking up, aside from seeing my girlfriend’s beautiful face, having enough time to make it to the porcelain is the best part of waking up.

  19. 19.

    stuckinred

    May 19, 2011 at 7:47 am

    I get up around 5 and check the overnight events. The pups come out, LilBit jumps on the couch and Bohdi comes over for some pets and back in the rack. At 6:24 I herd Lil Bit back in and she jumps over Bodhi and wakes the Princess up. Off four out 2 mile coffee walk, chat with our pals if they are not in New Orleans or Savannah. Back to the crib and logon to work.

  20. 20.

    MizB

    May 19, 2011 at 7:57 am

    The best part of waking up is Baileys in your cup!

  21. 21.

    chopper

    May 19, 2011 at 7:58 am

    taking a shot of cocaine and shooting your woman down.

  22. 22.

    THE

    May 19, 2011 at 8:02 am

    Opening your eyes, realizing you haven’t died yet.
    Hey… Hello again world.

  23. 23.

    Jeff Darcy

    May 19, 2011 at 8:03 am

    @WereBear: Be glad it’s the cat’s *face*.

  24. 24.

    WereBear

    May 19, 2011 at 8:04 am

    @ChrisS: I’ve been taking supplemental Vitamin D all winter; made a HUGE difference.

    @Phyllis: Yeah. I’m sorry about that.

  25. 25.

    stuckinred

    May 19, 2011 at 8:07 am

    @chopper: a “shot” of blow huh?

  26. 26.

    p.a.

    May 19, 2011 at 8:09 am

    once one reaches a certain age, the best part of waking up is waking up!

    Worked with a guy who had a minor heart attack in his early 50’s (minor being defined as a someone else’s heart attack). After, he said he “just lays in bed at night… waiting.”

    jeez.

  27. 27.

    stuckinred

    May 19, 2011 at 8:11 am

    @p.a.: Every breath is a gift.

  28. 28.

    Woodrowfan

    May 19, 2011 at 8:15 am

    looking at the clock and realizing I still have a couple hours to sleep while my wife is hugging me and both dogs are cuddled next to us.

  29. 29.

    ChrisS

    May 19, 2011 at 8:32 am

    @WereBear: Thanks for the advice. It’s been a tough road lately. The news doesn’t help. Neither does the economy and despite the fact that I have a good job and we have new work coming in, but we’re 90% reliant on federal (DoD & Army Corps) and state projects. Although Balloon-Juice does help me cope a bit.

    The cat face filling your vision.
    One of our Siamese likes to curl up with me at 5am just as the alarm goes off. So she’s all nice and cuddly and warm and I have get out of bed.

  30. 30.

    WereBear

    May 19, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Arizona is at it again:

    Overweight welfare recipients could be fined $50

  31. 31.

    LGRooney

    May 19, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Birds chirping, newspaper at my door, and Lavazza in my cup!

  32. 32.

    chopper

    May 19, 2011 at 9:01 am

    @stuckinred:

    ah, i can’t forget the day i shot that bad bitch down.

  33. 33.

    Hawes

    May 19, 2011 at 9:14 am

    Snooze bar, baby. Snooze bar.

  34. 34.

    cleek

    May 19, 2011 at 9:20 am

    waking up to a nose that’s slightly less stuffed than the day before.

    Amoxicillin FTW

  35. 35.

    AnnaN

    May 19, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Cuddling with one of the three males who are also in bed with me. Two are of the canine variety. :)

  36. 36.

    Dan

    May 19, 2011 at 9:42 am

    Wood.

  37. 37.

    tesslibrarian

    May 19, 2011 at 9:43 am

    I primarily agree with cintibud, but it’s also the way the cat stops screaming at me to give him his morning treat/supplement. The next best thing is a cup of hot tea and some cheese toast.

  38. 38.

    danimal

    May 19, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Almost three years since I had a major heart attack (major means it was ME). Best part of waking up is, as others have said, waking up. Being alive may suck at times, but it sure beats the alternative.

  39. 39.

    DlewOnRoids

    May 19, 2011 at 9:45 am

    The best part of breaking up is when you’re making up. The rest, I dunno.

  40. 40.

    Waldo

    May 19, 2011 at 9:53 am

    I’m surprised we went 35 comments without someone mentioning wood.

  41. 41.

    gex

    May 19, 2011 at 9:59 am

    My girl and my pup. No matter what other shit is going on with me or in the world, I wake up every day with the best girl and the best pup.

  42. 42.

    gex

    May 19, 2011 at 10:03 am

    @WereBear: I wouldn’t put it past Arizona to continually drive the “target” weight down. 1) Because you can raise revenue without raising taxes and 2) they can kill off those no good moochers. Sheriff Joe sure would.

  43. 43.

    henqiguai

    May 19, 2011 at 10:05 am

    @Waldo (#40):

    I’m surprised we went 35 comments without someone mentioning wood

    Um, older demographic ?

  44. 44.

    bob0lo

    May 19, 2011 at 10:11 am

    The best part of waking up is a doobie all rolled up. Everybody knows that.

  45. 45.

    Roger Moore

    May 19, 2011 at 10:12 am

    @danimal:

    Being alive may suck at times, but it sure beats the alternative.

    How do you know if you’ve never tried it? If the religious people are right, being dead might be great.

  46. 46.

    Dan

    May 19, 2011 at 10:23 am

    @henqiguai: I am older. That’s why it’s the best part!

  47. 47.

    piratedan

    May 19, 2011 at 10:47 am

    @WereBear: you know that they only have our best interests at heart, because these legislators have shown every day that they’re willing to do what’s right for the people of Arizona, even if the people of Arizona don’t agree. Now… get off my lawn, that Gutierrez boy is due sometime today to mow it.

  48. 48.

    kindness

    May 19, 2011 at 10:47 am

    @henqiguai: We ain’t dead yet, but we are being ‘polite’.

  49. 49.

    Paul in KY

    May 19, 2011 at 11:05 am

    @p.a.: With all that stress it will be sooner rather than later.

  50. 50.

    khead

    May 19, 2011 at 11:10 am

    The 4-5 raccoons having a convention on our deck at 5AM. Apparently our trash can is the new neighborhood wildlife hangout spot.

    Never heard such a racket.

  51. 51.

    Jewish Steel

    May 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Three basenjis singing in my living room. I think their sound was the inspiration for the tornado siren.

    @Tim F.:

    A pile of dog barf starring a third of dinner and most of a tennis ball.

    must’ve been some party.

  52. 52.

    Legalize

    May 19, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    It sure as shit isn’t coffee. Gross. The best thing about waking up is the fact that Mrs. Legalize and the rotten kittens have me surrounded.

  53. 53.

    neldob

    May 19, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    Waking up and hearing the birds start singing and going back to sleep. Superfine.

  54. 54.

    steppy

    May 19, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    Best part of waking up is knowing that you’re enjoying the high point of your whole day. There’s not enough coffee to wash out the taste of my daily shit sandwich.

  55. 55.

    Chuck Butcher

    May 19, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Cuppa strong coffee and a Camel straight – there is that other morning delight but then I am married…

  56. 56.

    Arclite

    May 19, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    For me, it’s my horny 100 lb Japanese wife…

  57. 57.

    Sean

    May 19, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    @Dan: the only reason I clicked into comments was to make sure someone listed this. Although I would have aid ‘boner.’

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Recent Comments

  • Steeplejack on Proud to Be A Democrat: Alvin Bragg Is Not Here for the GOP’s Performative Outrage (Mar 27, 2023 @ 6:33pm)
  • jimmiraybob on Cake Watch: Day 1 (Mar 27, 2023 @ 6:29pm)
  • JPL on Proud to Be A Democrat: Alvin Bragg Is Not Here for the GOP’s Performative Outrage (Mar 27, 2023 @ 6:28pm)
  • OGLiberal on Proud to Be A Democrat: Alvin Bragg Is Not Here for the GOP’s Performative Outrage (Mar 27, 2023 @ 6:27pm)
  • SpaceUnit on Proud to Be A Democrat: Alvin Bragg Is Not Here for the GOP’s Performative Outrage (Mar 27, 2023 @ 6:27pm)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!