Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Republicans in disarray!

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Bark louder, little dog.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

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Reader Interactions

57Comments

  1. 1.

    geg6

    The commercial gets it mostly right. It’s coffee. But definitely not Folger’s. Gimme my Dunkin Donuts! Now!

  2. 2.

    henqiguai

    So, let me get this straight. ABL puts up a couple of threads on the beauty of Black women, and now suddenly Balloon-Juice is awash in “Meet Real Guys” ads featuring an array of Black men. Coincidence ? I think not…

    I blame ABL.

    Oh, and the best part of waking up ? It’s all about the actually waking up. YMMV.

  3. 3.

    DecidedFenceSitter

    At this point of being a new parent – the fact that it means I got sleep. Not enough, but some.

  9. 9.

    gil mann

    Wearing a jockstrap filled with instant coffee grounds. Yeah, I know, I took the wrong message away from the old Folgers jingle, but don’t knock it till ya try it!

  10. 10.

    biff diggerence

    Never wondered about that.

    Only one thought possible:

    I’m not freakin dead.

  13. 13.

    Stephen1947

    I don’t much care for waking up in the morning (or after naps) but I also don’t really like going to bed in the evening either. I guess I just don’t like change very much.

  15. 15.

    billgerat

    I guarantee you, it ain’t Folgers in your cup. I can’t stand the Red Death anymore.

  16. 16.

    ChrisS

    I don’t know …. I’ve been suffering through anxiety and panic attacks for the last two weeks. Mornings are the worst.

  19. 19.

    stuckinred

    I get up around 5 and check the overnight events. The pups come out, LilBit jumps on the couch and Bohdi comes over for some pets and back in the rack. At 6:24 I herd Lil Bit back in and she jumps over Bodhi and wakes the Princess up. Off four out 2 mile coffee walk, chat with our pals if they are not in New Orleans or Savannah. Back to the crib and logon to work.

  26. 26.

    p.a.

    once one reaches a certain age, the best part of waking up is waking up!

    Worked with a guy who had a minor heart attack in his early 50’s (minor being defined as a someone else’s heart attack). After, he said he “just lays in bed at night… waiting.”

    jeez.

  28. 28.

    Woodrowfan

    looking at the clock and realizing I still have a couple hours to sleep while my wife is hugging me and both dogs are cuddled next to us.

  29. 29.

    ChrisS

    @WereBear: Thanks for the advice. It’s been a tough road lately. The news doesn’t help. Neither does the economy and despite the fact that I have a good job and we have new work coming in, but we’re 90% reliant on federal (DoD & Army Corps) and state projects. Although Balloon-Juice does help me cope a bit.

    The cat face filling your vision.
    One of our Siamese likes to curl up with me at 5am just as the alarm goes off. So she’s all nice and cuddly and warm and I have get out of bed.

  35. 35.

    AnnaN

    Cuddling with one of the three males who are also in bed with me. Two are of the canine variety. :)

  37. 37.

    tesslibrarian

    I primarily agree with cintibud, but it’s also the way the cat stops screaming at me to give him his morning treat/supplement. The next best thing is a cup of hot tea and some cheese toast.

  38. 38.

    danimal

    Almost three years since I had a major heart attack (major means it was ME). Best part of waking up is, as others have said, waking up. Being alive may suck at times, but it sure beats the alternative.

  39. 39.

    DlewOnRoids

    The best part of breaking up is when you’re making up. The rest, I dunno.

  41. 41.

    gex

    My girl and my pup. No matter what other shit is going on with me or in the world, I wake up every day with the best girl and the best pup.

  42. 42.

    gex

    @WereBear: I wouldn’t put it past Arizona to continually drive the “target” weight down. 1) Because you can raise revenue without raising taxes and 2) they can kill off those no good moochers. Sheriff Joe sure would.

  43. 43.

    henqiguai

    @Waldo (#40):

    I’m surprised we went 35 comments without someone mentioning wood

    Um, older demographic ?

  45. 45.

    Roger Moore

    @danimal:

    Being alive may suck at times, but it sure beats the alternative.

    How do you know if you’ve never tried it? If the religious people are right, being dead might be great.

  47. 47.

    piratedan

    @WereBear: you know that they only have our best interests at heart, because these legislators have shown every day that they’re willing to do what’s right for the people of Arizona, even if the people of Arizona don’t agree. Now… get off my lawn, that Gutierrez boy is due sometime today to mow it.

  50. 50.

    khead

    The 4-5 raccoons having a convention on our deck at 5AM. Apparently our trash can is the new neighborhood wildlife hangout spot.

    Never heard such a racket.

  51. 51.

    Jewish Steel

    Three basenjis singing in my living room. I think their sound was the inspiration for the tornado siren.

    @Tim F.:

    A pile of dog barf starring a third of dinner and most of a tennis ball.

    must’ve been some party.

  52. 52.

    Legalize

    It sure as shit isn’t coffee. Gross. The best thing about waking up is the fact that Mrs. Legalize and the rotten kittens have me surrounded.

  54. 54.

    steppy

    Best part of waking up is knowing that you’re enjoying the high point of your whole day. There’s not enough coffee to wash out the taste of my daily shit sandwich.

  57. 57.

    Sean

    @Dan: the only reason I clicked into comments was to make sure someone listed this. Although I would have aid ‘boner.’

Comments are closed.