• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Second rate reporter says what?

This blog will pay for itself.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

So many bastards, so little time.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Friday Night Open Thread

Friday Night Open Thread

by John Cole|  May 20, 20117:28 pm| 130 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

ZOMG LOOK AT THOSE OLD COUNTERTOPS!

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « RIP, Randy “Macho Man” Savage
Next Post: It’s The End of the World As We Know It »

Reader Interactions

130Comments

  1. 1.

    MikeJ

    May 20, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    Got my first copper river king of the season. Mmmmm.

    Later, playing more World of Tanks.

  2. 2.

    Martin

    May 20, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    Apparently I have shingles, so this misery is going to last a few weeks. Thankfully, I have nice new soapstone countertops to ease the pain a bit.

  3. 3.

    PeakVT

    May 20, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    Formica, without a rounded edge. You just might qualify for a government program.

  4. 4.

    Martin

    May 20, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Oh, and a mojito would really hit the spot right now, but I downed all the rum earlier in the week.

  5. 5.

    Crashman

    May 20, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    I heard DougJ sells countertops. You should talk to him.

  6. 6.

    kc

    May 20, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    I, too, have an apple-green Fiestaware spoon rest!

  7. 7.

    Violet

    May 20, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    @Martin:
    Oh, how awful. So painful. I hope it’s not as bad as you fear and you recover more quickly than expected.

    @MikeJ:
    I looked at it at the fish counter today and they wanted $42/pound, so…no.

    Speaking of ridiculously expensive stuff, does anyone have any experience with or knowledge about charter flights? Someone I know who has limited mobility needs to travel in the near future and cannot go through the security mess at the airport and all the waiting, possible delays and hassle that can happen with commercial flights. I’ve been looking into charter flights because there are going to be several people all going to the same place at the same time, but it’s exorbitantly expensive. Does anyone know a cheaper way? The location is not serviced by commercial airlines, so would require a flight and a long drive. A charter flight could go right there, however, since there is an airport.

  8. 8.

    Measles Montgomery

    May 20, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    Hey, that’s the same muddler my husband has! Me, I started the night with a rye manhattan. I might end with the oat whiskey.

  9. 9.

    WereBear

    May 20, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    @Martin: Shingles massively suck. And they are Nature’s Way of Telling You Something’s Wrong*. Lots of stress, another illness, something has knocked down your immune system and needs to be looked over.

    I made another video! I’m getting quite hooked on this.

    It’s cat oriented…

    *Spirit

  10. 10.

    jl

    May 20, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    Countertops look OK to me. I thought this was a proletarian blog of the people. And some one (Cole I assume) is getting snooty about countertops? Off with the deviationist enemy of the people Cole’s head!

    What is alarming is the Martha Stewart like display on top of the stove. Obviously carefully arranged.

    What is that drink? A low ice mint julep?

  11. 11.

    CynDee

    May 20, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Filipina Dating and Singles ad on BJ? That’s a shock.

  12. 12.

    Thoughtcrime

    May 20, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Enjoyable reading on GOS:

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/20/977849/-Why-Breitbart-is-TOAST-%28New-Court-Docs-from-Shirley-Sherrod%29?via=siderec

  13. 13.

    MikeJ

    May 20, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    @Violet: I always heard that flying private jets was like buying a new Honda Accord, driving it to the airport, and just leaving it there.

    How far is the flight? How many people? Prop plane charter is waaay cheaper than jets, but by no means cheap.

  14. 14.

    KyCole

    May 20, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    No granite countertops and stainless steel appliances? Someone hasn’t been paying attention to HGTV.

  15. 15.

    MonkeyBoy

    May 20, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    If you still measure the amount of rum you put into big-ass drinks then maybe you are not a total lush yet.

  16. 16.

    Ripley

    May 20, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    We can’t even pay our bills and John Cole is drinking mojiiiitos!

  17. 17.

    wobblybits

    May 20, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Having caipis (caipirinhas) here yummmm

  18. 18.

    Violet

    May 20, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    @MikeJ:
    Four people, 750 miles. Major city to small, rural location.

  19. 19.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    @Martin: Where are they? I had them on my forehead and in my eye while I was finishing my dissertation. The doc said, you have to just relax for a couple of weeks! I really feel for you.

  20. 20.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 20, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    OMG Cole not only do you have *gasp* formica countertops but you have *heart attack* white appliances! Has HGTV not taught you that only stainless steel will do? I am about to have the vapors! Where are my clutching pearls and the fainting couch?

    In all seriousness granite or any other of them suddenly “fashionable” countertops are just fine if you don’t cook (of course none of these damn people cook) because they are a swine to keep clean, as are stainless steel appliances (previous restaurant experience knows that).

    However after tomorrow I can go out and steal all the RWNJ’s granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.

  21. 21.

    Maude

    May 20, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    I have an ad for granite counter tops right under the post. I like the formica counters. The stove is snazzy.

    @Violet:
    There is a thing called Angels something that people who can’t take commercial can get a ride on a private jets with the regular customers. They do this for people with medical problems.

  22. 22.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    @Violet: Angel Flight

  23. 23.

    gex

    May 20, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    The MN GOP invited a speaker to open session today who:
    1) Praises other countries for killing gays
    2) Advocates incarcerating gays in the US
    3) Runs an organization called “You Can Run but You Can’t Hide”.
    Naturally when the uproar occurred the acted like they had no idea he would be like that. HOOCOODANODE?!?!

  24. 24.

    Violet

    May 20, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    @Maude:
    Really? I didn’t know about that. Thanks. I don’t think this person would truly qualify, as it’s really a mobility/pain/age thing rather than a true medical need. I will research it though. Thanks!

  25. 25.

    General Stuck

    May 20, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    Jeebus, it is nearly June here is the SW desert, and tonight it is going down under 40 degrees in temp, and almost every day since the first of March has been a windy one.

    To take the edge off, or put one on

    The Man

    Neil Young – Cortez the Killer

  26. 26.

    lamh34

    May 20, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    I’m really glad the rapture is scheduled for later tomorrow evening. I’m going to see a movie with my sister we’ve been planning it since last weekend.

    I’d hate to half to cancel is due to the rapture and all.

  27. 27.

    Josie

    May 20, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    I don’t know anything about counter tops, but I am having a major jealous over that stove. When I downsized, I left a stove top like that and I miss it so much.

  28. 28.

    Violet

    May 20, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    @stuckinred:
    Thank you. I don’t think this individual would meet the medical need requirement. That’s a really great organization, though.

  29. 29.

    Cameron

    May 20, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    So, John, Calphalon aluminum cookware – which the wife and I totally dig – but what are the knives? Henckel? Wüstof?

  30. 30.

    guachi

    May 20, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    That’s exactly the countertops I had when I bought my house. White appliances, too.

    I replaced them with black granite countertops shot with brown that more-or-less matched the color of the cabinets.

    Expensive, but a purchase I don’t regret. I enjoy looking at them every time I cook.

  31. 31.

    cathyx

    May 20, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    Is replacing those countertops on your vacation to-do list?

  32. 32.

    MattR

    May 20, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    I think the time has finally come and I have to renovate the kitchen. Is there any sort of handy guide that tells me how nice my new countertops can be based on my age, race, income and political beliefs?

  33. 33.

    Cat Lady

    May 20, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    @WereBear:

    I love Spirit! Lust, spirituality, and ecology.

    I’ve Got a Line On You Babe

    Fresh Garbage

    When the Overton Window was facing left.

  34. 34.

    Tom Betz

    May 20, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    Hey!! How’d you get a picture of my range next to your countertops?

    No, wait… that one’s too clean to be mine. Same model, though!

  35. 35.

    Southern Beale

    May 20, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    Yes there will be a Rapture tomorrow. Ask me how I know.

  36. 36.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 20, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    @MattR:

    When my house flooded in 1999 and I replaced my entire kitchen there was no such thing as granite countertops, stainless steel appliances were passe (white was the way to go), and light oak cabinets were da bomb. I can understand fashion when it comes to clothes but when it comes to things like kitchen cabinets changing with the years seems like a really stupid thing to me to be honest. What when next year the “style” is all avocado appliances (I know that sounds stupid but look at the washers and dryers right now they are RED!) I feel about my kitchen the way I feel about my car, if it works, and doesn’t cause me problems then it is fine for me.

  37. 37.

    Zam

    May 20, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Damn that looks good right now. Had some Mango margaritas last night to celebrate the end of the semester.

  38. 38.

    kdaug

    May 20, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Jeez, Cole, a chrome muddler? What’s wrong with your fingers or a wooden dowel from the garage? With a little duct tape, you can make a hammer/screwdriver combo work too.

    Or just blow off the girlie, minty drinks and pour a straight Irish Whiskey on the rocks.

    (Oh, wait – is this a right-rear axle thing? I understand your support structure(s) have been falling apart this week. Reckon if a minty girlie drink is what you need to feel better, I can let it slide this time. But you’d best be back to whiskey on Monday.)

  39. 39.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    @Cat Lady: You should like this, it’s my dog and his encounter with a Spirit song.

  40. 40.

    Southern Beale

    May 20, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    We just came from Cantina Laredo where we had margaritas, fresh guac and I had a great sea bass while the husband had a pork carnitas thing that didn’t look appealing to me at all.

    The margaritas just might have brought the Rapture on early here….

  41. 41.

    Mjaum

    May 20, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    2 am saturday. No rapture yet.

    Anyone want a “The Rapture Came, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” -shirt? I think the back says “What’d you get?”

  42. 42.

    MikeBoyScout

    May 20, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    This post, with its photo of ghastly countertops and pink Himalayan sea salt no where in sight, is a clear attempt to kill McMeagan.

    Let’s hope JC succeeds. ;-)

  43. 43.

    Southern Beale

    May 20, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    I can’t hear about the Rapture without thinking about this song. Takes me way, way back….

  44. 44.

    Cat Lady

    May 20, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    @stuckinred:

    Drama! The thrill of the hunt! Lumbering beasts outmatched by guile! Killer soundtrack!

  45. 45.

    jnfr

    May 20, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    Your countertops seem to be from the same era as ours – 70s, right? Only ours are fake woodgrain instead of fake gold flake.

    We went to see Thor this afternoon and found it quite enjoyable. Guild is having a Rapture party in WoW tomorrow, so I’m going to have to choose between whacking fel reavers and the Post-Rapture Looting Party I signed up for on FB. Decisions, decisions.

  46. 46.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    @Cat Lady: The whistle pigs live out back with great impunity. They drive the Bohdisattva nuts be it’s a great game. I was always partial to Fresh Garbage although Clear and the Family that Plays Together are right up there.

  47. 47.

    Kobie

    May 20, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Question about this rapture thing …

    So all the “good” people get zapped up to the Big Megachurch in the Sky while all us DFHs remain here for a little while, amirite? So isn’t there just going to be a bunch of free shit laying around? Or do the pious get to take it with them when they get raptured? I’m confused.

  48. 48.

    srv

    May 20, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Formica is the new black.

  49. 49.

    Comrade Mary

    May 20, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    As a fellow white appliance and Formica-countertop owner, I approve of this post.

    But I’m awfully tempted by that range. I have a very nice gas range that performs beautifully, but the damn thing doesn’t have 4 single grates, but two double grates. This makes scrubbing the grates in the sink awkward as hell, plus, for some stupid reason, the manufacturer used thin, pointy-ended curves as the grate design. Not only do the points snag the dishcloth when I’m cleaning, but the enamel coating is burnt off each tip over the flame. Meanwhile, my sister’s 10 year old gas range with 4 clunky little grates is in perfect condition.

  50. 50.

    beltane

    May 20, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    I thought the Rapture was going to be tonight. Now I feel obligated to finish that load of laundry I put in the washing machine this afternoon. Do you think Jeebus will help me fold the sheets?

  51. 51.

    Zam

    May 20, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    @Martin: Oh shit. I had that right around Valentines Day, which of course the biggest day of the year at the restaurant that I work at. Couldn’t take my pills because they made me slow and had to work all day. After that I took about a week off to just be free of pain.

  52. 52.

    South of I-10

    May 20, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    @Kobie: I say we get it. I’ve already scheduled up some looting from my friends with the good booze.

  53. 53.

    Kobie

    May 20, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    @South of I-10: Right on … I was thinking the same thing. Pastor down the street has a Cadillac I’ve had my eye on the last few days.

    Anyone know how to hotwire a Caddy?

  54. 54.

    merrinc

    May 20, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    I just spent the last 2.5 hours at the mall, trying to find an affordable and age appropriate bathing suit for what must be the world’s pickiest pre-teen. So I need several of whatever drink Cole is fixing. But since he is both misanthropic and a few hundred miles north of here (giving him an excuse for not sharing), I will make do with the bottle of J&B in the fridge.

  55. 55.

    MattR

    May 20, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    @Kobie:

    Anyone know how to hotwire a Caddy?

    Step 1 – Break a window in the house to obtain entry
    Step 2 – Rummage through house looking for keys
    Step 3 – Profit

  56. 56.

    becca

    May 20, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    @Cat Lady:

    Ah, Spirit brings back memories of junior high and me a budding hippy, moving to San Francisco during the Summer of Love with a gung-ho Army colonel, head of the West Coast MP’s and freshly returned from a tour of Viet Nam new stepfather.

    I have fond memories of the music, but not much else.

  57. 57.

    muddy

    May 20, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    John, being that you are accident prone, be very wary of that stovetop. Or keep the extended warranty up. I bought that kind of stove and against my usual policy got the extra warranty because they said you couldn’t (shouldn’t?) replace the top elements yourself, and I had no idea how long this kind lasted. Turned out to be a long time.

    Anyway, I put a cast iron pot down a bit heavily (not dropped) and it broke the glass. For some reason I was surprised to see how thin it was. When the repair guy came out, he showed me the store’s invoice for the part, he was shocked and amazed at the price so he had to share. It was $425 just for that one part, all the other damage caused by the breakage and the labor was additional. I kept up the warranty until I sold the house and warned the new owners.

  58. 58.

    John Cole

    May 20, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    @Cameron: Viking. I got an 10″ chef as a gift, liked it so much I bought the 10″ carving, the 8″ chef, and the 4″ paring and just got rid of the rest of my shit knives. I have everything I need with those.

  59. 59.

    Cat Lady

    May 20, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    @stuckinred:

    Whistle pigs. That’s a new one to me, but they also call for Alan.

  60. 60.

    arguingwithsignposts

    May 20, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    Those are racist countertops! Only 58 comments. I think you could goose it to 500 with the right tone, cole.

  61. 61.

    CynDee

    May 20, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    It’s not Rapture, it’s RAPTOR. Big global exotic bird convention tomorrow; fly-ins on every continent. Enjoy!

  62. 62.

    Cat Lady

    May 20, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    @becca:

    I was the same age. That music evokes almost total recall of those years.

  63. 63.

    MikeBoyScout

    May 20, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors,
    but I think that god’s got a sick sense of humor

    and when she raptures tomorrow night i trust she’ll take the socialist liberals (including the atheists!) and leave the others. It’ll scare the hell out of ’em.

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    May 20, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Ha! Cole already got pwned in the looming racist thread downstairs.

  65. 65.

    South of I-10

    May 20, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    @merrinc: I feel your pain on the age appropriate thing. Mine is almost 7, and according to most retailers, she should be dressing like a junior skank by now. Makes me crazy!

  66. 66.

    MikeBoyScout

    May 20, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    By the way, anyone got a linkee to a post for a menu for an “end of the world; RAPTURE!” party?

  67. 67.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    @Cat Lady: Gopher Cong

  68. 68.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    @becca: Ft Ord or the Presido?

  69. 69.

    South of I-10

    May 20, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Someone needs to whip up some Balloon Juice signs so we can meet up at the lake of fire post-rapture. I’ll bring marshmallows.

  70. 70.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Here’s the Bohdi looking up at our black granite topped island!

  71. 71.

    MattR

    May 20, 2011 at 9:12 pm

    @South of I-10:

    Someone needs to whip up some Balloon Juice signs so we can meet up at the lake of fire post-rapture. I’ll bring marshmallows

    The passphrase is “The fat man mops naked”

  72. 72.

    MikeBoyScout

    May 20, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    @71 MattR and South of I-10::

    Who’s going to bring the ribs and pulled pork?? With the flame we could have one helluva bbq.

  73. 73.

    merrinc

    May 20, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    @South of I-10:

    Yes, many of the designers of kids clothing need a good smack upside the head. The dilemma with my daughter (who will be 13 in a few short months) is one of size, though. She’s on the petite side which means most junior sizes are too large and 7-14 in girls are either too small or in her words, “too babyish.” Thank Unknown Dieties for Aeropostle though. They sell non-slutty tween and teen clothing at decent prices. The lack of originality grates on me but she likes it and I’m happy to avoid the kind of drama that occurred between my mother and me when we went shopping a hundred years ago.

  74. 74.

    Comrade Luke

    May 20, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    @Martin: Oh man, that sucks. Sorry to hear.

  75. 75.

    MattR

    May 20, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    @MikeBoyScout: I didn’t realize we were allowed to pack a bag. Luckily there’s still time.

  76. 76.

    superluminR droid

    May 20, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    @corner stone
    #looming!!!

  77. 77.

    Captain Haddock

    May 20, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    I really don’t know what i m doing here. I had a few glasses of wine before dinner. then we orderered a bottled with our meal. I am waiting for my wife to get done wotj some emails so I can fall asleep on the couch prenteding we are warching a movie togehter,

  78. 78.

    Little Boots

    May 20, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    John, be happy. but not too happy. we need you slightly pissed. really, we do.

  79. 79.

    maye

    May 20, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    @Violet: rent a big comfortable van and drive for two days. You could hire a driver for a fraction of the cost of a private flight.

  80. 80.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    May 20, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    Interesting set of findings about Republican governors from various news stories tonight:

    Florida

    The Suffolk University poll found that 41 percent of respondents said the new gov’s first months in office had been “negative and damaging” while only 26 percent described it as “positive and productive.”

    Maine

    A recent poll found that only three out of 10 Maine residents approved of LePage’s job in office.

    Michigan

    More recently, and using a different question wording, EPIC-MRA found (PDF) that 27% of Michiganders thought Snyder was doing an “excellent” or “pretty good” job, while 60% thought he was doing a “just fair” or “poor” job.

    26%. 3 of 10. 27%. Holy cow, the 27% phenomenon isn’t going away!

  81. 81.

    Corner Stone

    May 20, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    @Captain Haddock: Tell her to stop talking to her boyfriend on the computer and get ready for a little slap n tickle.

  82. 82.

    MattR

    May 20, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    @Captain Haddock: You’ve been drinking. We can’t tell at all from the typing :) Enjoy “the movie”

  83. 83.

    Little Boots

    May 20, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    give into your anger. seriously. and john, you’re pretty awesome already. you really do get it. this is not the country it should be. I love that you get that.

  84. 84.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    Professor Wagstaff: I’m fine, thanks, who are you?

    Baravelli: I’m fine too, but you can’t come in unless you give the password.

    Professor Wagstaff: Well, what is the password?

    Baravelli: Aw, no. You gotta tell me. Hey, I tell what I do. I give you three guesses. It’s the name of a fish.

    Professor Wagstaff: Is it Mary?

    Baravelli: Ha-ha. That’s-a no fish.

    Professor Wagstaff: She isn’t? Well, she drinks like one. Let me see: Is it sturgeon?
    Baravelli: Hey, you crazy. Sturgeon, he’s a doctor cuts you open when-a you sick. Now I give you one more chance.
    Professor Wagstaff: I got it. Haddock.

    Baravelli: That’s-a funny. I gotta haddock, too.

    Professor Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock?

    Baravelli: Well-a, sometimes I take-a aspirin, sometimes I take-a Calamel.
    Professor Wagstaff: Say, I’d walk a mile for a Calamel.

    Baravelli: You mean chocolate calamel. I like that too, but you no guess it. Hey, what’s-a matter, you no understand English? You can’t come in here unless you say, “Swordfish.” Now I’ll give you one more guess.

    Professor Wagstaff: …swordfish, swordfish… I think I got it. Is it “swordfish”?

    Baravelli: Hah. That’s-a it. You guess it.

    Professor Wagstaff: Pretty good, eh?

  85. 85.

    South of I-10

    May 20, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    @MattR: I lol’ed. Sorry John.

    @MikeBoyScout: Good thinking! I’ll loot some on my way.

    @merrinc: Mine is just like her Dad, tall and thin. I’ve already told her she better learn to love the dress because that is all that fits! Thank Beiber for the adjustable waist.

  86. 86.

    Violet

    May 20, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    @maye:
    I’ve considered that option. The time sitting in a vehicle is the problem. This individual is uncomfortable sitting for any length of time and needs to get up and walk around. Sigh. Challenging. Thanks for the suggestion.

  87. 87.

    Cat Lady

    May 20, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    @Captain Haddock:

    Liqurz in uR br8n kill’n Ur d00dz.

  88. 88.

    Lolis

    May 20, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    I have a birthday party planned for 10 PM central at an outdoor bar. Of course a huge severe weather storm just started in Austin. Rain and maybe hail is coming down right now. Waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

  89. 89.

    sidhra

    May 20, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    @beltane: Jeebus will always help fold the sheets.

  90. 90.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    @Lolis: Looks like it’s moving fast.

  91. 91.

    Tim, Interrupted

    May 20, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    I don’t know, I’m thinking Formica’s about to make a comeback. Now that HGTV has everyone’s kitchens full of granite, they’ll start telling us how we need to get rid of it and upgrade to Formica, which has been rediscovered as an awesome option.

    I’ve always thought it kind of stupid to spend thousands of dollars on the countertops alone, when that money can more effectively be put to use on high end appliances and such.

    Ergo, I pronounce Cole’s countertops retro-fabulous and dollar-wise to boot.

  92. 92.

    stuckinred

    May 20, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    @Tim, Interrupted: Our granite topped island is a stone motherfucker.

  93. 93.

    beltane

    May 20, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: In Maine’s defence, LePage only won with something like 35% of the vote. He has done a fine job of holding on to the support of his base of lunatics.

  94. 94.

    lamh34

    May 20, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    Watching “Eat, Pray, Love” and it’s making me hungry! And I’ve just started Weight Watchers again!!! Damn you Julia Roberts!

  95. 95.

    martha

    May 20, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    @lamh34: Oh I can’t watch, I’m doing Weight Watchers too and tonight sucked. DH had fish fry and 2 large IPAs (Wisconsin on Friday night natch) and I had a big salad and a glass of sauvignon blanc. It’s just not the same…

  96. 96.

    Corner Stone

    May 20, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    @Tim, Interrupted: Man, I thought you was dead.

  97. 97.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 20, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    @lamh34: Hey, have you solved any crimes yet or did all ABL’s photo posts convince you to put it off?

  98. 98.

    South of I-10

    May 20, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    @Lolis: That sucks. Don’t y’all need the rain though?

  99. 99.

    MattR

    May 20, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    @lamh34: @martha: Don’t worry. Eat what you want. The world is ending soon.

  100. 100.

    Little Boots

    May 20, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    why is everyone yelling at ABL? Do not get that.

  101. 101.

    jenn

    May 20, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    @Violet: Can you take a train for any part of that trip? That’s one of the things I really enjoy about train travel.

  102. 102.

    martha

    May 20, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    @MattR: Oh you are so not helpful. So what time is the rapture supposed to hit tomorrow, anyway?

  103. 103.

    lamh34

    May 20, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    No mysteries solved yet, but I was leaning towards solving the what came first debate, vis a vis the chicken or the egg, but then I found out that tomorrow on tonight or whatever the rapture is coming, so I figured fuck it…we all gon die tomorrow anyway.

    As for ABL’s post didn’t help one bit, but it did help me pick a new hairstyles…so hey…sliver lining!

  104. 104.

    Little Boots

    May 20, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    goooooooobers.

  105. 105.

    MattR

    May 20, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    @Violet: jenn’s train idea is a good one. I don’t know what it would take to do this, but I know someone with bad Restless Leg Syndrome who installed an exercise bike in a van (or possibly an RV) and spent long trips using that while her husband drove.

    @martha: I believe 6 pm Eastern

  106. 106.

    darkmatter

    May 20, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    Having to go to work tomorrow is keeping me away from L.A. Noire. This is good because I would be up until 3am playing and wouldn’t be able to savor the experience of such an amazing game. Plus, I got to watch The Maltese Falcon tonight and loved every minute of it.

  107. 107.

    jwb

    May 20, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    @martha: I thought tomorrow was just the start of it all, and unfortunately we don’t actually get rid of the Raptured until sometime in October. But I can’t say I’m really very clear on all this end-time theology.

  108. 108.

    lamh34

    May 20, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    BTW, Eat, Pray, Love the scenes in India bring me back to my trip to India last year. Man that was the best Indian food ever…not suprisingly…lol

  109. 109.

    martha

    May 20, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    MattR and jwb: thanks. Just trying to figure out how to plan my day…Wouldn’t want to miss the good parts.

  110. 110.

    Delia

    May 20, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    I bought a bunch of plants today that I need to put in the ground tomorrow. I figure that will delay any Rapture, at least until mid-summer.

  111. 111.

    Tim, Interrupted

    May 20, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Man, I thought you was dead.

    Yea verily, I say to you: I have arisen. I have arisen indeed. Hallelujah.

    She Who Shall Not Be Named chained me in Her basement for a week (again) but Cole set me free today. Naturally, as is her custom, no list of charges were ever read or filed showing me to be in violation of any of Cole’s very clear banning policies; it was enough that I had been judged guilty of “assholism.”

    And so it goes.

    But I have survived and I live! Yes, with God as my witness, I live! And I am going to do my best to stay out of the hell-bound brain vacuums that are Her post threads. That way lies madness.

    But oh my god, Stone, the things I saw in that basement…

  112. 112.

    gravie

    May 20, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    Ah, we’ve got white appliances, light oak cabinets AND new granite countertops (which I love — they’re like a work of art, beautiful to behold.) I don’t know whether we’re like ironic hipsters or sell-out hipsters. Or not hip at all.

  113. 113.

    Corner Stone

    May 20, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    @Tim, Interrupted: Whatever you do, don’t mention the unmentionables. #boobwhisperer

  114. 114.

    Corner Stone

    May 20, 2011 at 11:10 pm

    @Tim, Interrupted: If you’ve been set free then where the hell is Lil Bob L0b?
    Shouldn’t he be here telling us what tools we are for saying things on this blog?

  115. 115.

    WaterGirl

    May 20, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    @Violet: Train! You can get up and walk around any time you like.

    Edit: I see that jenn beat me to it.

  116. 116.

    Violet

    May 20, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    @jenn:
    There is a train for a small portion of it, but that still leaves time in a car or other vehicle for a substantial bit. Plus, the train takes a long time, so it’s not terribly convenient.

    Thanks for all the suggestions. I’ll keep looking.

  117. 117.

    Origuy

    May 20, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    Someone posted an link to an article in the Irish Independent about Obama’s trip to Ireland earlier. There’s a nice article at the same site about the Obamas’ marriage

    If you watch the news about the visit, see if anyone correctly pronounces the title of the Irish head of government, the Taoiseach. It’s TEE-shuch, with the ch of Scottish loch or German ach.
    I wonder about the discussion that went on when they decided to use the Irish Gaelic word instead of the English Prime Minister. Probably went something like, “Let’s not have a fecking Prime Minister; the fecking English have a Prime Minister to go with the fecking King! Let’s make them learn at least one word of Irish!”

  118. 118.

    andy

    May 20, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    The crow wing co-op just got some local asparagus so I made a quiche. http://flic.kr/p/9Km6NM

  119. 119.

    LongHairedWeirdo

    May 21, 2011 at 12:15 am

    ZOMG LOOK AT THOSE OLD COUNTERTOPS!

    THAT’S PHOTOSHOPPED! They’re really granite, aren’t they?

  120. 120.

    Martin

    May 21, 2011 at 12:34 am

    @stuckinred: On my lower back one one side. Sitting is not intolerable, but not pleasant. It’s been getting slightly worse each day, and I asked the Dr if the meds would at least get it to level off and he says its a cointoss whether it gets better, worse, or stays the same for a while.

    We’ll see how this goes, but work is going to be a bitch for a while. I basically sit at a computer all day.

  121. 121.

    Tim, Interrupted

    May 21, 2011 at 12:41 am

    @Corner Stone:

    If you’ve been set free then where the hell is Lil Bob L0b? Shouldn’t he be here telling us what tools we are for saying things on this blog?

    Well, I set aside my dignity and harassed Cole via email until I was released, as She Who Must Not Be Named didn’t bother to respond to my emails from the basement. Perhaps Bob Lob has more sense and self respect than to bother doing the same, and just took a permanent powder.

    I believe I did hear his moaning and cries of despair while I was in Her basement, but I couldn’t see from behind the leather blindfold exactly what She was doing to him. Maybe he didn’t make it out.

    It’s funny: I don’t really comment that often here, but BJ is the only blog on which I do comment at all and I liked having the option. It’s weird to have a psycho front pager here who makes up Her own rules as She goes, but perhaps it will teach me to pick my battles and avoid Her threads.

  122. 122.

    Tim, Interrupted

    May 21, 2011 at 12:42 am

    @Corner Stone:

    Whatever you do, don’t mention the unmentionables. #boobwhisperer

    I SAW THEM IN THE BASEMENT!

  123. 123.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 21, 2011 at 12:51 am

    She Who Shall Not Be Named chained me in Her basement for a week (again) but Cole set me free today. Naturally, as is her custom, no list of charges were ever read or filed showing me to be in violation of any of Cole’s very clear banning policies; it was enough that I had been judged guilty of “assholism.”

    Growing up in a broken home with an abusive stepfather, we learned pretty quickly to duck and stay in a ducked position. No, we didn’t always get hit, but it never hurts to be ready. You should think of Balloon Juice as your broken home and ABL as your abusive parent.

    Gonna miss L0blaw. It’s the rare commenter that makes my schtick palatable.

  124. 124.

    CaliCat

    May 21, 2011 at 4:01 am

    John, I know it’s rude to invite myself but can I come over for dinner sometime? I clean up nice, I promise.

  125. 125.

    TexasEllen

    May 21, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Violet, on the charter idea:

    Our grandson has special needs (oxygen, suction of his trach, gbutton, etc) and the solution has been to rent an RV, invite driver/passengers who wish to go, and to make the trip part of the event. It’s cheaper than chartering a plane, roomier with nap spots, a bathroom on board, little fridge, etc.

    Buying one of these behemoths is neither desired nor affordable, but the folks who have can be ever so grateful for others renting them for a weekend or a few days.

  126. 126.

    keestadoll

    May 21, 2011 at 10:19 am

    After experiencing many different countertops lo these many years, I can say without reservation that TILE countertops are the worst, granite is only as pretty as its lack of use, and formica is just dandy. Also too, as a previous poster noted, stainless appliances are a nightmare to keep clean. Kitchens that require a staff to maintain are not what America is about.

    I’m proud to be a true American with formica countertops and white appliances. I salute you John!

  127. 127.

    bob_is_boring

    May 21, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Gah!

    I hate to be this guy, John Fucking Cole, but you should not drink Bacardi rum. That is one evil, Tom DeLay-affiliated corporation, which not only makes shitty industrial product and is destroying Puerto Rico, they’re in bed with some real shitwads. (I used to work in the industry and kept up on all that crap.)

    Try Flor de Cana 4-year-old white fer yer Mojitos. It’s better, cheaper, near as I can tell independent, and it’s NOT FUCKING BACARDI.

    Alternately, be a man and drink some goddamn whisk(e)y.

    /rant

  128. 128.

    Corner Stone

    May 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    @keestadoll: Hate formica countertops. With passion.

  129. 129.

    Corner Stone

    May 21, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    @Tim, Interrupted:

    It’s funny: I don’t really comment that often here, but BJ is the only blog on which I do comment at all and I liked having the option. It’s weird to have a psycho front pager here who makes up Her own rules as She goes, but perhaps it will teach me to pick my battles and avoid Her threads.

    Hmmm.

  130. 130.

    Corner Stone

    May 21, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Gonna miss L0blaw. It’s the rare commenter that makes my schtick palatable.

    I just didn’t see anything to justify it.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Image by MomSense (5/21.25)

Recent Comments

  • Spider-Dan on Episode #3 of Personality Crisis Podcast Is Up (May 22, 2025 @ 2:30am)
  • sab on Late Night Open Thread: Frugal Times (May 22, 2025 @ 2:30am)
  • Chetan Murthy on Wednesday Night Open Thread (May 22, 2025 @ 2:28am)
  • Geminid on Wednesday Night Open Thread (May 22, 2025 @ 2:21am)
  • NaijaGal on Wednesday Evening Open Thread: An Exemplar for Our Global Embarrassment (May 22, 2025 @ 2:19am)

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
War in Ukraine
Donate to Razom for Ukraine

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Meetups

Upcoming Ohio Meetup May 17
5/11 Post about the May 17 Ohio Meetup

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Hands Off! – Denver, San Diego & Austin

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!