Formica, without a rounded edge. You just might qualify for a government program.
4.
Martin
Oh, and a mojito would really hit the spot right now, but I downed all the rum earlier in the week.
5.
Crashman
I heard DougJ sells countertops. You should talk to him.
6.
kc
I, too, have an apple-green Fiestaware spoon rest!
7.
Violet
@Martin:
Oh, how awful. So painful. I hope it’s not as bad as you fear and you recover more quickly than expected.
@MikeJ:
I looked at it at the fish counter today and they wanted $42/pound, so…no.
Speaking of ridiculously expensive stuff, does anyone have any experience with or knowledge about charter flights? Someone I know who has limited mobility needs to travel in the near future and cannot go through the security mess at the airport and all the waiting, possible delays and hassle that can happen with commercial flights. I’ve been looking into charter flights because there are going to be several people all going to the same place at the same time, but it’s exorbitantly expensive. Does anyone know a cheaper way? The location is not serviced by commercial airlines, so would require a flight and a long drive. A charter flight could go right there, however, since there is an airport.
8.
Measles Montgomery
Hey, that’s the same muddler my husband has! Me, I started the night with a rye manhattan. I might end with the oat whiskey.
@Martin: Shingles massively suck. And they are Nature’s Way of Telling You Something’s Wrong*. Lots of stress, another illness, something has knocked down your immune system and needs to be looked over.
Countertops look OK to me. I thought this was a proletarian blog of the people. And some one (Cole I assume) is getting snooty about countertops? Off with the deviationist enemy of the people Cole’s head!
What is alarming is the Martha Stewart like display on top of the stove. Obviously carefully arranged.
What is that drink? A low ice mint julep?
11.
CynDee
Filipina Dating and Singles ad on BJ? That’s a shock.
@Violet: I always heard that flying private jets was like buying a new Honda Accord, driving it to the airport, and just leaving it there.
How far is the flight? How many people? Prop plane charter is waaay cheaper than jets, but by no means cheap.
14.
KyCole
No granite countertops and stainless steel appliances? Someone hasn’t been paying attention to HGTV.
15.
MonkeyBoy
If you still measure the amount of rum you put into big-ass drinks then maybe you are not a total lush yet.
16.
Ripley
We can’t even pay our bills and John Cole is drinking mojiiiitos!
17.
wobblybits
Having caipis (caipirinhas) here yummmm
18.
Violet
@MikeJ:
Four people, 750 miles. Major city to small, rural location.
19.
stuckinred
@Martin: Where are they? I had them on my forehead and in my eye while I was finishing my dissertation. The doc said, you have to just relax for a couple of weeks! I really feel for you.
20.
Litlebritdifrnt
OMG Cole not only do you have *gasp* formica countertops but you have *heart attack* white appliances! Has HGTV not taught you that only stainless steel will do? I am about to have the vapors! Where are my clutching pearls and the fainting couch?
In all seriousness granite or any other of them suddenly “fashionable” countertops are just fine if you don’t cook (of course none of these damn people cook) because they are a swine to keep clean, as are stainless steel appliances (previous restaurant experience knows that).
However after tomorrow I can go out and steal all the RWNJ’s granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.
21.
Maude
I have an ad for granite counter tops right under the post. I like the formica counters. The stove is snazzy.
@Violet:
There is a thing called Angels something that people who can’t take commercial can get a ride on a private jets with the regular customers. They do this for people with medical problems.
The MN GOP invited a speaker to open session today who:
1) Praises other countries for killing gays
2) Advocates incarcerating gays in the US
3) Runs an organization called “You Can Run but You Can’t Hide”.
Naturally when the uproar occurred the acted like they had no idea he would be like that. HOOCOODANODE?!?!
24.
Violet
@Maude:
Really? I didn’t know about that. Thanks. I don’t think this person would truly qualify, as it’s really a mobility/pain/age thing rather than a true medical need. I will research it though. Thanks!
25.
General Stuck
Jeebus, it is nearly June here is the SW desert, and tonight it is going down under 40 degrees in temp, and almost every day since the first of March has been a windy one.
I’m really glad the rapture is scheduled for later tomorrow evening. I’m going to see a movie with my sister we’ve been planning it since last weekend.
I’d hate to half to cancel is due to the rapture and all.
27.
Josie
I don’t know anything about counter tops, but I am having a major jealous over that stove. When I downsized, I left a stove top like that and I miss it so much.
28.
Violet
@stuckinred:
Thank you. I don’t think this individual would meet the medical need requirement. That’s a really great organization, though.
29.
Cameron
So, John, Calphalon aluminum cookware – which the wife and I totally dig – but what are the knives? Henckel? Wüstof?
30.
guachi
That’s exactly the countertops I had when I bought my house. White appliances, too.
I replaced them with black granite countertops shot with brown that more-or-less matched the color of the cabinets.
Expensive, but a purchase I don’t regret. I enjoy looking at them every time I cook.
31.
cathyx
Is replacing those countertops on your vacation to-do list?
32.
MattR
I think the time has finally come and I have to renovate the kitchen. Is there any sort of handy guide that tells me how nice my new countertops can be based on my age, race, income and political beliefs?
When my house flooded in 1999 and I replaced my entire kitchen there was no such thing as granite countertops, stainless steel appliances were passe (white was the way to go), and light oak cabinets were da bomb. I can understand fashion when it comes to clothes but when it comes to things like kitchen cabinets changing with the years seems like a really stupid thing to me to be honest. What when next year the “style” is all avocado appliances (I know that sounds stupid but look at the washers and dryers right now they are RED!) I feel about my kitchen the way I feel about my car, if it works, and doesn’t cause me problems then it is fine for me.
37.
Zam
Damn that looks good right now. Had some Mango margaritas last night to celebrate the end of the semester.
38.
kdaug
Jeez, Cole, a chrome muddler? What’s wrong with your fingers or a wooden dowel from the garage? With a little duct tape, you can make a hammer/screwdriver combo work too.
Or just blow off the girlie, minty drinks and pour a straight Irish Whiskey on the rocks.
(Oh, wait – is this a right-rear axle thing? I understand your support structure(s) have been falling apart this week. Reckon if a minty girlie drink is what you need to feel better, I can let it slide this time. But you’d best be back to whiskey on Monday.)
39.
stuckinred
@Cat Lady: You should like this, it’s my dog and his encounter with a Spirit song.
We just came from Cantina Laredo where we had margaritas, fresh guac and I had a great sea bass while the husband had a pork carnitas thing that didn’t look appealing to me at all.
The margaritas just might have brought the Rapture on early here….
41.
Mjaum
2 am saturday. No rapture yet.
Anyone want a “The Rapture Came, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” -shirt? I think the back says “What’d you get?”
42.
MikeBoyScout
This post, with its photo of ghastly countertops and pink Himalayan sea salt no where in sight, is a clear attempt to kill McMeagan.
Your countertops seem to be from the same era as ours – 70s, right? Only ours are fake woodgrain instead of fake gold flake.
We went to see Thor this afternoon and found it quite enjoyable. Guild is having a Rapture party in WoW tomorrow, so I’m going to have to choose between whacking fel reavers and the Post-Rapture Looting Party I signed up for on FB. Decisions, decisions.
46.
stuckinred
@Cat Lady: The whistle pigs live out back with great impunity. They drive the Bohdisattva nuts be it’s a great game. I was always partial to Fresh Garbage although Clear and the Family that Plays Together are right up there.
47.
Kobie
Question about this rapture thing …
So all the “good” people get zapped up to the Big Megachurch in the Sky while all us DFHs remain here for a little while, amirite? So isn’t there just going to be a bunch of free shit laying around? Or do the pious get to take it with them when they get raptured? I’m confused.
48.
srv
Formica is the new black.
49.
Comrade Mary
As a fellow white appliance and Formica-countertop owner, I approve of this post.
But I’m awfully tempted by that range. I have a very nice gas range that performs beautifully, but the damn thing doesn’t have 4 single grates, but two double grates. This makes scrubbing the grates in the sink awkward as hell, plus, for some stupid reason, the manufacturer used thin, pointy-ended curves as the grate design. Not only do the points snag the dishcloth when I’m cleaning, but the enamel coating is burnt off each tip over the flame. Meanwhile, my sister’s 10 year old gas range with 4 clunky little grates is in perfect condition.
50.
beltane
I thought the Rapture was going to be tonight. Now I feel obligated to finish that load of laundry I put in the washing machine this afternoon. Do you think Jeebus will help me fold the sheets?
51.
Zam
@Martin: Oh shit. I had that right around Valentines Day, which of course the biggest day of the year at the restaurant that I work at. Couldn’t take my pills because they made me slow and had to work all day. After that I took about a week off to just be free of pain.
52.
South of I-10
@Kobie: I say we get it. I’ve already scheduled up some looting from my friends with the good booze.
53.
Kobie
@South of I-10: Right on … I was thinking the same thing. Pastor down the street has a Cadillac I’ve had my eye on the last few days.
Anyone know how to hotwire a Caddy?
54.
merrinc
I just spent the last 2.5 hours at the mall, trying to find an affordable and age appropriate bathing suit for what must be the world’s pickiest pre-teen. So I need several of whatever drink Cole is fixing. But since he is both misanthropic and a few hundred miles north of here (giving him an excuse for not sharing), I will make do with the bottle of J&B in the fridge.
Ah, Spirit brings back memories of junior high and me a budding hippy, moving to San Francisco during the Summer of Love with a gung-ho Army colonel, head of the West Coast MP’s and freshly returned from a tour of Viet Nam new stepfather.
I have fond memories of the music, but not much else.
57.
muddy
John, being that you are accident prone, be very wary of that stovetop. Or keep the extended warranty up. I bought that kind of stove and against my usual policy got the extra warranty because they said you couldn’t (shouldn’t?) replace the top elements yourself, and I had no idea how long this kind lasted. Turned out to be a long time.
Anyway, I put a cast iron pot down a bit heavily (not dropped) and it broke the glass. For some reason I was surprised to see how thin it was. When the repair guy came out, he showed me the store’s invoice for the part, he was shocked and amazed at the price so he had to share. It was $425 just for that one part, all the other damage caused by the breakage and the labor was additional. I kept up the warranty until I sold the house and warned the new owners.
@Cameron: Viking. I got an 10″ chef as a gift, liked it so much I bought the 10″ carving, the 8″ chef, and the 4″ paring and just got rid of the rest of my shit knives. I have everything I need with those.
I was the same age. That music evokes almost total recall of those years.
63.
MikeBoyScout
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors,
but I think that god’s got a sick sense of humor
and when she raptures tomorrow night i trust she’ll take the socialist liberals (including the atheists!) and leave the others. It’ll scare the hell out of ’em.
64.
Corner Stone
@arguingwithsignposts: Ha! Cole already got pwned in the looming racist thread downstairs.
65.
South of I-10
@merrinc: I feel your pain on the age appropriate thing. Mine is almost 7, and according to most retailers, she should be dressing like a junior skank by now. Makes me crazy!
66.
MikeBoyScout
By the way, anyone got a linkee to a post for a menu for an “end of the world; RAPTURE!” party?
Yes, many of the designers of kids clothing need a good smack upside the head. The dilemma with my daughter (who will be 13 in a few short months) is one of size, though. She’s on the petite side which means most junior sizes are too large and 7-14 in girls are either too small or in her words, “too babyish.” Thank Unknown Dieties for Aeropostle though. They sell non-slutty tween and teen clothing at decent prices. The lack of originality grates on me but she likes it and I’m happy to avoid the kind of drama that occurred between my mother and me when we went shopping a hundred years ago.
@MikeBoyScout: I didn’t realize we were allowed to pack a bag. Luckily there’s still time.
76.
superluminR droid
@corner stone
#looming!!!
77.
Captain Haddock
I really don’t know what i m doing here. I had a few glasses of wine before dinner. then we orderered a bottled with our meal. I am waiting for my wife to get done wotj some emails so I can fall asleep on the couch prenteding we are warching a movie togehter,
78.
Little Boots
John, be happy. but not too happy. we need you slightly pissed. really, we do.
79.
maye
@Violet: rent a big comfortable van and drive for two days. You could hire a driver for a fraction of the cost of a private flight.
80.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Interesting set of findings about Republican governors from various news stories tonight:
Florida
The Suffolk University poll found that 41 percent of respondents said the new gov’s first months in office had been “negative and damaging” while only 26 percent described it as “positive and productive.”
Maine
A recent poll found that only three out of 10 Maine residents approved of LePage’s job in office.
Michigan
More recently, and using a different question wording, EPIC-MRA found (PDF) that 27% of Michiganders thought Snyder was doing an “excellent” or “pretty good” job, while 60% thought he was doing a “just fair” or “poor” job.
26%. 3 of 10. 27%. Holy cow, the 27% phenomenon isn’t going away!
81.
Corner Stone
@Captain Haddock: Tell her to stop talking to her boyfriend on the computer and get ready for a little slap n tickle.
82.
MattR
@Captain Haddock: You’ve been drinking. We can’t tell at all from the typing :) Enjoy “the movie”
83.
Little Boots
give into your anger. seriously. and john, you’re pretty awesome already. you really do get it. this is not the country it should be. I love that you get that.
84.
stuckinred
Professor Wagstaff: I’m fine, thanks, who are you?
Baravelli: I’m fine too, but you can’t come in unless you give the password.
Professor Wagstaff: Well, what is the password?
Baravelli: Aw, no. You gotta tell me. Hey, I tell what I do. I give you three guesses. It’s the name of a fish.
Professor Wagstaff: Is it Mary?
Baravelli: Ha-ha. That’s-a no fish.
Professor Wagstaff: She isn’t? Well, she drinks like one. Let me see: Is it sturgeon?
Baravelli: Hey, you crazy. Sturgeon, he’s a doctor cuts you open when-a you sick. Now I give you one more chance.
Professor Wagstaff: I got it. Haddock.
Baravelli: That’s-a funny. I gotta haddock, too.
Professor Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock?
Baravelli: Well-a, sometimes I take-a aspirin, sometimes I take-a Calamel.
Professor Wagstaff: Say, I’d walk a mile for a Calamel.
Baravelli: You mean chocolate calamel. I like that too, but you no guess it. Hey, what’s-a matter, you no understand English? You can’t come in here unless you say, “Swordfish.” Now I’ll give you one more guess.
Professor Wagstaff: …swordfish, swordfish… I think I got it. Is it “swordfish”?
@MikeBoyScout: Good thinking! I’ll loot some on my way.
@merrinc: Mine is just like her Dad, tall and thin. I’ve already told her she better learn to love the dress because that is all that fits! Thank Beiber for the adjustable waist.
86.
Violet
@maye:
I’ve considered that option. The time sitting in a vehicle is the problem. This individual is uncomfortable sitting for any length of time and needs to get up and walk around. Sigh. Challenging. Thanks for the suggestion.
I have a birthday party planned for 10 PM central at an outdoor bar. Of course a huge severe weather storm just started in Austin. Rain and maybe hail is coming down right now. Waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
89.
sidhra
@beltane: Jeebus will always help fold the sheets.
I don’t know, I’m thinking Formica’s about to make a comeback. Now that HGTV has everyone’s kitchens full of granite, they’ll start telling us how we need to get rid of it and upgrade to Formica, which has been rediscovered as an awesome option.
I’ve always thought it kind of stupid to spend thousands of dollars on the countertops alone, when that money can more effectively be put to use on high end appliances and such.
Ergo, I pronounce Cole’s countertops retro-fabulous and dollar-wise to boot.
92.
stuckinred
@Tim, Interrupted: Our granite topped island is a stone motherfucker.
93.
beltane
@Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: In Maine’s defence, LePage only won with something like 35% of the vote. He has done a fine job of holding on to the support of his base of lunatics.
94.
lamh34
Watching “Eat, Pray, Love” and it’s making me hungry! And I’ve just started Weight Watchers again!!! Damn you Julia Roberts!
95.
martha
@lamh34: Oh I can’t watch, I’m doing Weight Watchers too and tonight sucked. DH had fish fry and 2 large IPAs (Wisconsin on Friday night natch) and I had a big salad and a glass of sauvignon blanc. It’s just not the same…
No mysteries solved yet, but I was leaning towards solving the what came first debate, vis a vis the chicken or the egg, but then I found out that tomorrow on tonight or whatever the rapture is coming, so I figured fuck it…we all gon die tomorrow anyway.
As for ABL’s post didn’t help one bit, but it did help me pick a new hairstyles…so hey…sliver lining!
104.
Little Boots
goooooooobers.
105.
MattR
@Violet: jenn’s train idea is a good one. I don’t know what it would take to do this, but I know someone with bad Restless Leg Syndrome who installed an exercise bike in a van (or possibly an RV) and spent long trips using that while her husband drove.
Having to go to work tomorrow is keeping me away from L.A. Noire. This is good because I would be up until 3am playing and wouldn’t be able to savor the experience of such an amazing game. Plus, I got to watch The Maltese Falcon tonight and loved every minute of it.
107.
jwb
@martha: I thought tomorrow was just the start of it all, and unfortunately we don’t actually get rid of the Raptured until sometime in October. But I can’t say I’m really very clear on all this end-time theology.
108.
lamh34
BTW, Eat, Pray, Love the scenes in India bring me back to my trip to India last year. Man that was the best Indian food ever…not suprisingly…lol
109.
martha
MattR and jwb: thanks. Just trying to figure out how to plan my day…Wouldn’t want to miss the good parts.
110.
Delia
I bought a bunch of plants today that I need to put in the ground tomorrow. I figure that will delay any Rapture, at least until mid-summer.
Yea verily, I say to you: I have arisen. I have arisen indeed. Hallelujah.
She Who Shall Not Be Named chained me in Her basement for a week (again) but Cole set me free today. Naturally, as is her custom, no list of charges were ever read or filed showing me to be in violation of any of Cole’s very clear banning policies; it was enough that I had been judged guilty of “assholism.”
And so it goes.
But I have survived and I live! Yes, with God as my witness, I live! And I am going to do my best to stay out of the hell-bound brain vacuums that are Her post threads. That way lies madness.
But oh my god, Stone, the things I saw in that basement…
112.
gravie
Ah, we’ve got white appliances, light oak cabinets AND new granite countertops (which I love — they’re like a work of art, beautiful to behold.) I don’t know whether we’re like ironic hipsters or sell-out hipsters. Or not hip at all.
113.
Corner Stone
@Tim, Interrupted: Whatever you do, don’t mention the unmentionables. #boobwhisperer
114.
Corner Stone
@Tim, Interrupted: If you’ve been set free then where the hell is Lil Bob L0b?
Shouldn’t he be here telling us what tools we are for saying things on this blog?
115.
WaterGirl
@Violet: Train! You can get up and walk around any time you like.
Edit: I see that jenn beat me to it.
116.
Violet
@jenn:
There is a train for a small portion of it, but that still leaves time in a car or other vehicle for a substantial bit. Plus, the train takes a long time, so it’s not terribly convenient.
Thanks for all the suggestions. I’ll keep looking.
117.
Origuy
Someone posted an link to an article in the Irish Independent about Obama’s trip to Ireland earlier. There’s a nice article at the same site about the Obamas’ marriage
If you watch the news about the visit, see if anyone correctly pronounces the title of the Irish head of government, the Taoiseach. It’s TEE-shuch, with the ch of Scottish loch or German ach.
I wonder about the discussion that went on when they decided to use the Irish Gaelic word instead of the English Prime Minister. Probably went something like, “Let’s not have a fecking Prime Minister; the fecking English have a Prime Minister to go with the fecking King! Let’s make them learn at least one word of Irish!”
118.
andy
The crow wing co-op just got some local asparagus so I made a quiche. http://flic.kr/p/9Km6NM
@stuckinred: On my lower back one one side. Sitting is not intolerable, but not pleasant. It’s been getting slightly worse each day, and I asked the Dr if the meds would at least get it to level off and he says its a cointoss whether it gets better, worse, or stays the same for a while.
We’ll see how this goes, but work is going to be a bitch for a while. I basically sit at a computer all day.
If you’ve been set free then where the hell is Lil Bob L0b? Shouldn’t he be here telling us what tools we are for saying things on this blog?
Well, I set aside my dignity and harassed Cole via email until I was released, as She Who Must Not Be Named didn’t bother to respond to my emails from the basement. Perhaps Bob Lob has more sense and self respect than to bother doing the same, and just took a permanent powder.
I believe I did hear his moaning and cries of despair while I was in Her basement, but I couldn’t see from behind the leather blindfold exactly what She was doing to him. Maybe he didn’t make it out.
It’s funny: I don’t really comment that often here, but BJ is the only blog on which I do comment at all and I liked having the option. It’s weird to have a psycho front pager here who makes up Her own rules as She goes, but perhaps it will teach me to pick my battles and avoid Her threads.
Whatever you do, don’t mention the unmentionables. #boobwhisperer
I SAW THEM IN THE BASEMENT!
123.
Just Some Fuckhead
She Who Shall Not Be Named chained me in Her basement for a week (again) but Cole set me free today. Naturally, as is her custom, no list of charges were ever read or filed showing me to be in violation of any of Cole’s very clear banning policies; it was enough that I had been judged guilty of “assholism.”
Growing up in a broken home with an abusive stepfather, we learned pretty quickly to duck and stay in a ducked position. No, we didn’t always get hit, but it never hurts to be ready. You should think of Balloon Juice as your broken home and ABL as your abusive parent.
Gonna miss L0blaw. It’s the rare commenter that makes my schtick palatable.
124.
CaliCat
John, I know it’s rude to invite myself but can I come over for dinner sometime? I clean up nice, I promise.
125.
TexasEllen
Violet, on the charter idea:
Our grandson has special needs (oxygen, suction of his trach, gbutton, etc) and the solution has been to rent an RV, invite driver/passengers who wish to go, and to make the trip part of the event. It’s cheaper than chartering a plane, roomier with nap spots, a bathroom on board, little fridge, etc.
Buying one of these behemoths is neither desired nor affordable, but the folks who have can be ever so grateful for others renting them for a weekend or a few days.
126.
keestadoll
After experiencing many different countertops lo these many years, I can say without reservation that TILE countertops are the worst, granite is only as pretty as its lack of use, and formica is just dandy. Also too, as a previous poster noted, stainless appliances are a nightmare to keep clean. Kitchens that require a staff to maintain are not what America is about.
I’m proud to be a true American with formica countertops and white appliances. I salute you John!
I hate to be this guy, John Fucking Cole, but you should not drink Bacardi rum. That is one evil, Tom DeLay-affiliated corporation, which not only makes shitty industrial product and is destroying Puerto Rico, they’re in bed with some real shitwads. (I used to work in the industry and kept up on all that crap.)
Try Flor de Cana 4-year-old white fer yer Mojitos. It’s better, cheaper, near as I can tell independent, and it’s NOT FUCKING BACARDI.
Alternately, be a man and drink some goddamn whisk(e)y.
/rant
128.
Corner Stone
@keestadoll: Hate formica countertops. With passion.
It’s funny: I don’t really comment that often here, but BJ is the only blog on which I do comment at all and I liked having the option. It’s weird to have a psycho front pager here who makes up Her own rules as She goes, but perhaps it will teach me to pick my battles and avoid Her threads.
MikeJ
Got my first copper river king of the season. Mmmmm.
Later, playing more World of Tanks.
Martin
Apparently I have shingles, so this misery is going to last a few weeks. Thankfully, I have nice new soapstone countertops to ease the pain a bit.
PeakVT
Formica, without a rounded edge. You just might qualify for a government program.
Martin
Oh, and a mojito would really hit the spot right now, but I downed all the rum earlier in the week.
Crashman
I heard DougJ sells countertops. You should talk to him.
kc
I, too, have an apple-green Fiestaware spoon rest!
Violet
@Martin:
Oh, how awful. So painful. I hope it’s not as bad as you fear and you recover more quickly than expected.
@MikeJ:
I looked at it at the fish counter today and they wanted $42/pound, so…no.
Speaking of ridiculously expensive stuff, does anyone have any experience with or knowledge about charter flights? Someone I know who has limited mobility needs to travel in the near future and cannot go through the security mess at the airport and all the waiting, possible delays and hassle that can happen with commercial flights. I’ve been looking into charter flights because there are going to be several people all going to the same place at the same time, but it’s exorbitantly expensive. Does anyone know a cheaper way? The location is not serviced by commercial airlines, so would require a flight and a long drive. A charter flight could go right there, however, since there is an airport.
Measles Montgomery
Hey, that’s the same muddler my husband has! Me, I started the night with a rye manhattan. I might end with the oat whiskey.
WereBear
@Martin: Shingles massively suck. And they are Nature’s Way of Telling You Something’s Wrong*. Lots of stress, another illness, something has knocked down your immune system and needs to be looked over.
I made another video! I’m getting quite hooked on this.
It’s cat oriented…
*Spirit
jl
Countertops look OK to me. I thought this was a proletarian blog of the people. And some one (Cole I assume) is getting snooty about countertops? Off with the deviationist enemy of the people Cole’s head!
What is alarming is the Martha Stewart like display on top of the stove. Obviously carefully arranged.
What is that drink? A low ice mint julep?
CynDee
Filipina Dating and Singles ad on BJ? That’s a shock.
Thoughtcrime
Enjoyable reading on GOS:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/20/977849/-Why-Breitbart-is-TOAST-%28New-Court-Docs-from-Shirley-Sherrod%29?via=siderec
MikeJ
@Violet: I always heard that flying private jets was like buying a new Honda Accord, driving it to the airport, and just leaving it there.
How far is the flight? How many people? Prop plane charter is waaay cheaper than jets, but by no means cheap.
KyCole
No granite countertops and stainless steel appliances? Someone hasn’t been paying attention to HGTV.
MonkeyBoy
If you still measure the amount of rum you put into big-ass drinks then maybe you are not a total lush yet.
Ripley
We can’t even pay our bills and John Cole is drinking mojiiiitos!
wobblybits
Having caipis (caipirinhas) here yummmm
Violet
@MikeJ:
Four people, 750 miles. Major city to small, rural location.
stuckinred
@Martin: Where are they? I had them on my forehead and in my eye while I was finishing my dissertation. The doc said, you have to just relax for a couple of weeks! I really feel for you.
Litlebritdifrnt
OMG Cole not only do you have *gasp* formica countertops but you have *heart attack* white appliances! Has HGTV not taught you that only stainless steel will do? I am about to have the vapors! Where are my clutching pearls and the fainting couch?
In all seriousness granite or any other of them suddenly “fashionable” countertops are just fine if you don’t cook (of course none of these damn people cook) because they are a swine to keep clean, as are stainless steel appliances (previous restaurant experience knows that).
However after tomorrow I can go out and steal all the RWNJ’s granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.
Maude
I have an ad for granite counter tops right under the post. I like the formica counters. The stove is snazzy.
@Violet:
There is a thing called Angels something that people who can’t take commercial can get a ride on a private jets with the regular customers. They do this for people with medical problems.
stuckinred
@Violet: Angel Flight
gex
The MN GOP invited a speaker to open session today who:
1) Praises other countries for killing gays
2) Advocates incarcerating gays in the US
3) Runs an organization called “You Can Run but You Can’t Hide”.
Naturally when the uproar occurred the acted like they had no idea he would be like that. HOOCOODANODE?!?!
Violet
@Maude:
Really? I didn’t know about that. Thanks. I don’t think this person would truly qualify, as it’s really a mobility/pain/age thing rather than a true medical need. I will research it though. Thanks!
General Stuck
Jeebus, it is nearly June here is the SW desert, and tonight it is going down under 40 degrees in temp, and almost every day since the first of March has been a windy one.
To take the edge off, or put one on
The Man
Neil Young – Cortez the Killer
lamh34
I’m really glad the rapture is scheduled for later tomorrow evening. I’m going to see a movie with my sister we’ve been planning it since last weekend.
I’d hate to half to cancel is due to the rapture and all.
Josie
I don’t know anything about counter tops, but I am having a major jealous over that stove. When I downsized, I left a stove top like that and I miss it so much.
Violet
@stuckinred:
Thank you. I don’t think this individual would meet the medical need requirement. That’s a really great organization, though.
Cameron
So, John, Calphalon aluminum cookware – which the wife and I totally dig – but what are the knives? Henckel? Wüstof?
guachi
That’s exactly the countertops I had when I bought my house. White appliances, too.
I replaced them with black granite countertops shot with brown that more-or-less matched the color of the cabinets.
Expensive, but a purchase I don’t regret. I enjoy looking at them every time I cook.
cathyx
Is replacing those countertops on your vacation to-do list?
MattR
I think the time has finally come and I have to renovate the kitchen. Is there any sort of handy guide that tells me how nice my new countertops can be based on my age, race, income and political beliefs?
Cat Lady
@WereBear:
I love Spirit! Lust, spirituality, and ecology.
I’ve Got a Line On You Babe
Fresh Garbage
When the Overton Window was facing left.
Tom Betz
Hey!! How’d you get a picture of my range next to your countertops?
No, wait… that one’s too clean to be mine. Same model, though!
Southern Beale
Yes there will be a Rapture tomorrow. Ask me how I know.
Litlebritdifrnt
@MattR:
When my house flooded in 1999 and I replaced my entire kitchen there was no such thing as granite countertops, stainless steel appliances were passe (white was the way to go), and light oak cabinets were da bomb. I can understand fashion when it comes to clothes but when it comes to things like kitchen cabinets changing with the years seems like a really stupid thing to me to be honest. What when next year the “style” is all avocado appliances (I know that sounds stupid but look at the washers and dryers right now they are RED!) I feel about my kitchen the way I feel about my car, if it works, and doesn’t cause me problems then it is fine for me.
Zam
Damn that looks good right now. Had some Mango margaritas last night to celebrate the end of the semester.
kdaug
Jeez, Cole, a chrome muddler? What’s wrong with your fingers or a wooden dowel from the garage? With a little duct tape, you can make a hammer/screwdriver combo work too.
Or just blow off the girlie, minty drinks and pour a straight Irish Whiskey on the rocks.
(Oh, wait – is this a right-rear axle thing? I understand your support structure(s) have been falling apart this week. Reckon if a minty girlie drink is what you need to feel better, I can let it slide this time. But you’d best be back to whiskey on Monday.)
stuckinred
@Cat Lady: You should like this, it’s my dog and his encounter with a Spirit song.
Southern Beale
We just came from Cantina Laredo where we had margaritas, fresh guac and I had a great sea bass while the husband had a pork carnitas thing that didn’t look appealing to me at all.
The margaritas just might have brought the Rapture on early here….
Mjaum
2 am saturday. No rapture yet.
Anyone want a “The Rapture Came, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” -shirt? I think the back says “What’d you get?”
MikeBoyScout
This post, with its photo of ghastly countertops and pink Himalayan sea salt no where in sight, is a clear attempt to kill McMeagan.
Let’s hope JC succeeds. ;-)
Southern Beale
I can’t hear about the Rapture without thinking about this song. Takes me way, way back….
Cat Lady
@stuckinred:
Drama! The thrill of the hunt! Lumbering beasts outmatched by guile! Killer soundtrack!
jnfr
Your countertops seem to be from the same era as ours – 70s, right? Only ours are fake woodgrain instead of fake gold flake.
We went to see Thor this afternoon and found it quite enjoyable. Guild is having a Rapture party in WoW tomorrow, so I’m going to have to choose between whacking fel reavers and the Post-Rapture Looting Party I signed up for on FB. Decisions, decisions.
stuckinred
@Cat Lady: The whistle pigs live out back with great impunity. They drive the Bohdisattva nuts be it’s a great game. I was always partial to Fresh Garbage although Clear and the Family that Plays Together are right up there.
Kobie
Question about this rapture thing …
So all the “good” people get zapped up to the Big Megachurch in the Sky while all us DFHs remain here for a little while, amirite? So isn’t there just going to be a bunch of free shit laying around? Or do the pious get to take it with them when they get raptured? I’m confused.
srv
Formica is the new black.
Comrade Mary
As a fellow white appliance and Formica-countertop owner, I approve of this post.
But I’m awfully tempted by that range. I have a very nice gas range that performs beautifully, but the damn thing doesn’t have 4 single grates, but two double grates. This makes scrubbing the grates in the sink awkward as hell, plus, for some stupid reason, the manufacturer used thin, pointy-ended curves as the grate design. Not only do the points snag the dishcloth when I’m cleaning, but the enamel coating is burnt off each tip over the flame. Meanwhile, my sister’s 10 year old gas range with 4 clunky little grates is in perfect condition.
beltane
I thought the Rapture was going to be tonight. Now I feel obligated to finish that load of laundry I put in the washing machine this afternoon. Do you think Jeebus will help me fold the sheets?
Zam
@Martin: Oh shit. I had that right around Valentines Day, which of course the biggest day of the year at the restaurant that I work at. Couldn’t take my pills because they made me slow and had to work all day. After that I took about a week off to just be free of pain.
South of I-10
@Kobie: I say we get it. I’ve already scheduled up some looting from my friends with the good booze.
Kobie
@South of I-10: Right on … I was thinking the same thing. Pastor down the street has a Cadillac I’ve had my eye on the last few days.
Anyone know how to hotwire a Caddy?
merrinc
I just spent the last 2.5 hours at the mall, trying to find an affordable and age appropriate bathing suit for what must be the world’s pickiest pre-teen. So I need several of whatever drink Cole is fixing. But since he is both misanthropic and a few hundred miles north of here (giving him an excuse for not sharing), I will make do with the bottle of J&B in the fridge.
MattR
@Kobie:
Step 1 – Break a window in the house to obtain entry
Step 2 – Rummage through house looking for keys
Step 3 – Profit
becca
@Cat Lady:
Ah, Spirit brings back memories of junior high and me a budding hippy, moving to San Francisco during the Summer of Love with a gung-ho Army colonel, head of the West Coast MP’s and freshly returned from a tour of Viet Nam new stepfather.
I have fond memories of the music, but not much else.
muddy
John, being that you are accident prone, be very wary of that stovetop. Or keep the extended warranty up. I bought that kind of stove and against my usual policy got the extra warranty because they said you couldn’t (shouldn’t?) replace the top elements yourself, and I had no idea how long this kind lasted. Turned out to be a long time.
Anyway, I put a cast iron pot down a bit heavily (not dropped) and it broke the glass. For some reason I was surprised to see how thin it was. When the repair guy came out, he showed me the store’s invoice for the part, he was shocked and amazed at the price so he had to share. It was $425 just for that one part, all the other damage caused by the breakage and the labor was additional. I kept up the warranty until I sold the house and warned the new owners.
John Cole
@Cameron: Viking. I got an 10″ chef as a gift, liked it so much I bought the 10″ carving, the 8″ chef, and the 4″ paring and just got rid of the rest of my shit knives. I have everything I need with those.
Cat Lady
@stuckinred:
Whistle pigs. That’s a new one to me, but they also call for Alan.
arguingwithsignposts
Those are racist countertops! Only 58 comments. I think you could goose it to 500 with the right tone, cole.
CynDee
It’s not Rapture, it’s RAPTOR. Big global exotic bird convention tomorrow; fly-ins on every continent. Enjoy!
Cat Lady
@becca:
I was the same age. That music evokes almost total recall of those years.
MikeBoyScout
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors,
but I think that god’s got a sick sense of humor
and when she raptures tomorrow night i trust she’ll take the socialist liberals (including the atheists!) and leave the others. It’ll scare the hell out of ’em.
Corner Stone
@arguingwithsignposts: Ha! Cole already got pwned in the looming racist thread downstairs.
South of I-10
@merrinc: I feel your pain on the age appropriate thing. Mine is almost 7, and according to most retailers, she should be dressing like a junior skank by now. Makes me crazy!
MikeBoyScout
By the way, anyone got a linkee to a post for a menu for an “end of the world; RAPTURE!” party?
stuckinred
@Cat Lady: Gopher Cong
stuckinred
@becca: Ft Ord or the Presido?
South of I-10
Someone needs to whip up some Balloon Juice signs so we can meet up at the lake of fire post-rapture. I’ll bring marshmallows.
stuckinred
Here’s the Bohdi looking up at our black granite topped island!
MattR
@South of I-10:
The passphrase is “The fat man mops naked”
MikeBoyScout
@71 MattR and South of I-10::
Who’s going to bring the ribs and pulled pork?? With the flame we could have one helluva bbq.
merrinc
@South of I-10:
Yes, many of the designers of kids clothing need a good smack upside the head. The dilemma with my daughter (who will be 13 in a few short months) is one of size, though. She’s on the petite side which means most junior sizes are too large and 7-14 in girls are either too small or in her words, “too babyish.” Thank Unknown Dieties for Aeropostle though. They sell non-slutty tween and teen clothing at decent prices. The lack of originality grates on me but she likes it and I’m happy to avoid the kind of drama that occurred between my mother and me when we went shopping a hundred years ago.
Comrade Luke
@Martin: Oh man, that sucks. Sorry to hear.
MattR
@MikeBoyScout: I didn’t realize we were allowed to pack a bag. Luckily there’s still time.
superluminR droid
@corner stone
#looming!!!
Captain Haddock
I really don’t know what i m doing here. I had a few glasses of wine before dinner. then we orderered a bottled with our meal. I am waiting for my wife to get done wotj some emails so I can fall asleep on the couch prenteding we are warching a movie togehter,
Little Boots
John, be happy. but not too happy. we need you slightly pissed. really, we do.
maye
@Violet: rent a big comfortable van and drive for two days. You could hire a driver for a fraction of the cost of a private flight.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Interesting set of findings about Republican governors from various news stories tonight:
26%. 3 of 10. 27%. Holy cow, the 27% phenomenon isn’t going away!
Corner Stone
@Captain Haddock: Tell her to stop talking to her boyfriend on the computer and get ready for a little slap n tickle.
MattR
@Captain Haddock: You’ve been drinking. We can’t tell at all from the typing :) Enjoy “the movie”
Little Boots
give into your anger. seriously. and john, you’re pretty awesome already. you really do get it. this is not the country it should be. I love that you get that.
stuckinred
Professor Wagstaff: I’m fine, thanks, who are you?
Baravelli: I’m fine too, but you can’t come in unless you give the password.
Professor Wagstaff: Well, what is the password?
Baravelli: Aw, no. You gotta tell me. Hey, I tell what I do. I give you three guesses. It’s the name of a fish.
Professor Wagstaff: Is it Mary?
Baravelli: Ha-ha. That’s-a no fish.
Professor Wagstaff: She isn’t? Well, she drinks like one. Let me see: Is it sturgeon?
Baravelli: Hey, you crazy. Sturgeon, he’s a doctor cuts you open when-a you sick. Now I give you one more chance.
Professor Wagstaff: I got it. Haddock.
Baravelli: That’s-a funny. I gotta haddock, too.
Professor Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock?
Baravelli: Well-a, sometimes I take-a aspirin, sometimes I take-a Calamel.
Professor Wagstaff: Say, I’d walk a mile for a Calamel.
Baravelli: You mean chocolate calamel. I like that too, but you no guess it. Hey, what’s-a matter, you no understand English? You can’t come in here unless you say, “Swordfish.” Now I’ll give you one more guess.
Professor Wagstaff: …swordfish, swordfish… I think I got it. Is it “swordfish”?
Baravelli: Hah. That’s-a it. You guess it.
Professor Wagstaff: Pretty good, eh?
South of I-10
@MattR: I lol’ed. Sorry John.
@MikeBoyScout: Good thinking! I’ll loot some on my way.
@merrinc: Mine is just like her Dad, tall and thin. I’ve already told her she better learn to love the dress because that is all that fits! Thank Beiber for the adjustable waist.
Violet
@maye:
I’ve considered that option. The time sitting in a vehicle is the problem. This individual is uncomfortable sitting for any length of time and needs to get up and walk around. Sigh. Challenging. Thanks for the suggestion.
Cat Lady
@Captain Haddock:
Liqurz in uR br8n kill’n Ur d00dz.
Lolis
I have a birthday party planned for 10 PM central at an outdoor bar. Of course a huge severe weather storm just started in Austin. Rain and maybe hail is coming down right now. Waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
sidhra
@beltane: Jeebus will always help fold the sheets.
stuckinred
@Lolis: Looks like it’s moving fast.
Tim, Interrupted
I don’t know, I’m thinking Formica’s about to make a comeback. Now that HGTV has everyone’s kitchens full of granite, they’ll start telling us how we need to get rid of it and upgrade to Formica, which has been rediscovered as an awesome option.
I’ve always thought it kind of stupid to spend thousands of dollars on the countertops alone, when that money can more effectively be put to use on high end appliances and such.
Ergo, I pronounce Cole’s countertops retro-fabulous and dollar-wise to boot.
stuckinred
@Tim, Interrupted: Our granite topped island is a stone motherfucker.
beltane
@Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: In Maine’s defence, LePage only won with something like 35% of the vote. He has done a fine job of holding on to the support of his base of lunatics.
lamh34
Watching “Eat, Pray, Love” and it’s making me hungry! And I’ve just started Weight Watchers again!!! Damn you Julia Roberts!
martha
@lamh34: Oh I can’t watch, I’m doing Weight Watchers too and tonight sucked. DH had fish fry and 2 large IPAs (Wisconsin on Friday night natch) and I had a big salad and a glass of sauvignon blanc. It’s just not the same…
Corner Stone
@Tim, Interrupted: Man, I thought you was dead.
Omnes Omnibus
@lamh34: Hey, have you solved any crimes yet or did all ABL’s photo posts convince you to put it off?
South of I-10
@Lolis: That sucks. Don’t y’all need the rain though?
MattR
@lamh34: @martha: Don’t worry. Eat what you want. The world is ending soon.
Little Boots
why is everyone yelling at ABL? Do not get that.
jenn
@Violet: Can you take a train for any part of that trip? That’s one of the things I really enjoy about train travel.
martha
@MattR: Oh you are so not helpful. So what time is the rapture supposed to hit tomorrow, anyway?
lamh34
@Omnes Omnibus:
No mysteries solved yet, but I was leaning towards solving the what came first debate, vis a vis the chicken or the egg, but then I found out that tomorrow on tonight or whatever the rapture is coming, so I figured fuck it…we all gon die tomorrow anyway.
As for ABL’s post didn’t help one bit, but it did help me pick a new hairstyles…so hey…sliver lining!
Little Boots
goooooooobers.
MattR
@Violet: jenn’s train idea is a good one. I don’t know what it would take to do this, but I know someone with bad Restless Leg Syndrome who installed an exercise bike in a van (or possibly an RV) and spent long trips using that while her husband drove.
@martha: I believe 6 pm Eastern
darkmatter
Having to go to work tomorrow is keeping me away from L.A. Noire. This is good because I would be up until 3am playing and wouldn’t be able to savor the experience of such an amazing game. Plus, I got to watch The Maltese Falcon tonight and loved every minute of it.
jwb
@martha: I thought tomorrow was just the start of it all, and unfortunately we don’t actually get rid of the Raptured until sometime in October. But I can’t say I’m really very clear on all this end-time theology.
lamh34
BTW, Eat, Pray, Love the scenes in India bring me back to my trip to India last year. Man that was the best Indian food ever…not suprisingly…lol
martha
MattR and jwb: thanks. Just trying to figure out how to plan my day…Wouldn’t want to miss the good parts.
Delia
I bought a bunch of plants today that I need to put in the ground tomorrow. I figure that will delay any Rapture, at least until mid-summer.
Tim, Interrupted
@Corner Stone:
Yea verily, I say to you: I have arisen. I have arisen indeed. Hallelujah.
She Who Shall Not Be Named chained me in Her basement for a week (again) but Cole set me free today. Naturally, as is her custom, no list of charges were ever read or filed showing me to be in violation of any of Cole’s very clear banning policies; it was enough that I had been judged guilty of “assholism.”
And so it goes.
But I have survived and I live! Yes, with God as my witness, I live! And I am going to do my best to stay out of the hell-bound brain vacuums that are Her post threads. That way lies madness.
But oh my god, Stone, the things I saw in that basement…
gravie
Ah, we’ve got white appliances, light oak cabinets AND new granite countertops (which I love — they’re like a work of art, beautiful to behold.) I don’t know whether we’re like ironic hipsters or sell-out hipsters. Or not hip at all.
Corner Stone
@Tim, Interrupted: Whatever you do, don’t mention the unmentionables. #boobwhisperer
Corner Stone
@Tim, Interrupted: If you’ve been set free then where the hell is Lil Bob L0b?
Shouldn’t he be here telling us what tools we are for saying things on this blog?
WaterGirl
@Violet: Train! You can get up and walk around any time you like.
Edit: I see that jenn beat me to it.
Violet
@jenn:
There is a train for a small portion of it, but that still leaves time in a car or other vehicle for a substantial bit. Plus, the train takes a long time, so it’s not terribly convenient.
Thanks for all the suggestions. I’ll keep looking.
Origuy
Someone posted an link to an article in the Irish Independent about Obama’s trip to Ireland earlier. There’s a nice article at the same site about the Obamas’ marriage
If you watch the news about the visit, see if anyone correctly pronounces the title of the Irish head of government, the Taoiseach. It’s TEE-shuch, with the ch of Scottish loch or German ach.
I wonder about the discussion that went on when they decided to use the Irish Gaelic word instead of the English Prime Minister. Probably went something like, “Let’s not have a fecking Prime Minister; the fecking English have a Prime Minister to go with the fecking King! Let’s make them learn at least one word of Irish!”
andy
The crow wing co-op just got some local asparagus so I made a quiche. http://flic.kr/p/9Km6NM
LongHairedWeirdo
THAT’S PHOTOSHOPPED! They’re really granite, aren’t they?
Martin
@stuckinred: On my lower back one one side. Sitting is not intolerable, but not pleasant. It’s been getting slightly worse each day, and I asked the Dr if the meds would at least get it to level off and he says its a cointoss whether it gets better, worse, or stays the same for a while.
We’ll see how this goes, but work is going to be a bitch for a while. I basically sit at a computer all day.
Tim, Interrupted
@Corner Stone:
Well, I set aside my dignity and harassed Cole via email until I was released, as She Who Must Not Be Named didn’t bother to respond to my emails from the basement. Perhaps Bob Lob has more sense and self respect than to bother doing the same, and just took a permanent powder.
I believe I did hear his moaning and cries of despair while I was in Her basement, but I couldn’t see from behind the leather blindfold exactly what She was doing to him. Maybe he didn’t make it out.
It’s funny: I don’t really comment that often here, but BJ is the only blog on which I do comment at all and I liked having the option. It’s weird to have a psycho front pager here who makes up Her own rules as She goes, but perhaps it will teach me to pick my battles and avoid Her threads.
Tim, Interrupted
@Corner Stone:
I SAW THEM IN THE BASEMENT!
Just Some Fuckhead
Growing up in a broken home with an abusive stepfather, we learned pretty quickly to duck and stay in a ducked position. No, we didn’t always get hit, but it never hurts to be ready. You should think of Balloon Juice as your broken home and ABL as your abusive parent.
Gonna miss L0blaw. It’s the rare commenter that makes my schtick palatable.
CaliCat
John, I know it’s rude to invite myself but can I come over for dinner sometime? I clean up nice, I promise.
TexasEllen
Violet, on the charter idea:
Our grandson has special needs (oxygen, suction of his trach, gbutton, etc) and the solution has been to rent an RV, invite driver/passengers who wish to go, and to make the trip part of the event. It’s cheaper than chartering a plane, roomier with nap spots, a bathroom on board, little fridge, etc.
Buying one of these behemoths is neither desired nor affordable, but the folks who have can be ever so grateful for others renting them for a weekend or a few days.
keestadoll
After experiencing many different countertops lo these many years, I can say without reservation that TILE countertops are the worst, granite is only as pretty as its lack of use, and formica is just dandy. Also too, as a previous poster noted, stainless appliances are a nightmare to keep clean. Kitchens that require a staff to maintain are not what America is about.
I’m proud to be a true American with formica countertops and white appliances. I salute you John!
bob_is_boring
Gah!
I hate to be this guy, John Fucking Cole, but you should not drink Bacardi rum. That is one evil, Tom DeLay-affiliated corporation, which not only makes shitty industrial product and is destroying Puerto Rico, they’re in bed with some real shitwads. (I used to work in the industry and kept up on all that crap.)
Try Flor de Cana 4-year-old white fer yer Mojitos. It’s better, cheaper, near as I can tell independent, and it’s NOT FUCKING BACARDI.
Alternately, be a man and drink some goddamn whisk(e)y.
/rant
Corner Stone
@keestadoll: Hate formica countertops. With passion.
Corner Stone
@Tim, Interrupted:
Hmmm.
Corner Stone
@Just Some Fuckhead:
I just didn’t see anything to justify it.