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Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

This really is a full service blog.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Infrastructure week. at last.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

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Good lord, these people are nuts.

Consistently wrong since 2002

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Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

After roe, women are no longer free.

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Trying to figure out how old I was when naptime became the best part of every day. Reasonably sure I was born feeling that way about naptime (and I’m sure there is a breastfeeding quip in there somewhere, but this is a classy joint and I will leave that to Punchy or JSF), then grew out of it for a few years, but now I am back to firmly believing naptime is the best part of the day. Cool, clean sheets on a warm afternoon, fan blowing, woo!

Reader Interactions

87Comments

  1. 1.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Um, the dogs allow you to take a nap? You’ve got them pretty well trained…or you time your naps to coincide with theirs…

  2. 2.

    shortstop

    Have woken up the last three mornings with the bedroom window open, remembering how damned good summer feels and stretching my toes out luxuriously. June is coming and it’s the very bestest month.

  4. 4.

    Loneoak

    I’ve never been a napper. But it works well for me because my wife is a napper par excellence and this way I get to have some alone time with my XBOX.

  5. 5.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I started napping all the time after I quit my job. I get sleepy just thinking about looking for a job.

  6. 6.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    When did naps become good again? I have two data points.

    The first being Boy Scout camp in the summer, when nothing was scheduled for awhile in the afternoon, and you could go back to your tent with the sides rolled up, the breezes blowing through, and lie down on your bunk and do nothing.

    The second was majoring in math in college, and going back to the dorm to crash in the afternoon while all the physicists and chemists were in the lab.

    So of course, what did we call our naptime? Math Lab!!

  7. 7.

    Mike E

    Dude… it was when my daughter was born. Naptime was Lord, daddy’s lil helper, it was so freakin’ good.

    Then one day (early) in her 3rd year on Earth she decided that her waking moments were too important and that slice o’ heaven became a distant dream. I’m pretty sure I cried over the loss of naptime.

    As a tween she became reacquainted with naps and admitted how great they are, and that’s when I brought out the stereo. Payback, baby! I kid. She naps after high school regularly. Siesta needs to be a national institution, dammit.

  8. 8.

    Don K

    Definitely. One of the best things about being retired is being able to nap any day I want to (which is pretty much every day). Sometimes it’s just twenty minutes of semi-consciousness with my eyes closed on the recliner, and others it’s full-blown ninety minutes in the bed achieve REM sleep. Whatever, I find once I’ve finished lunch these days my eyes are starting to get heavy.

  9. 9.

    cathyx

    My daughter quit taking naps at 2, her best friend who lived down the street didn’t stop until she was 6. I wanted to kill her mother every afternoon.

  10. 10.

    Jager

    Mrs J and I went to brunch with friends on Sunday, drank a few cocktails, got home about 3, walked the doggie. We laid down at 4 or so…woke up at 6:45, watched 60 Minutes, Game of Thrones and Treme back in bed at 11…perfect day!

  15. 15.

    SteveinSC

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Um, the dogs allow you to take a nap?

    Au contraire, the dogs will quiet down, snuggle up, the fan will gently hum with the occasional breeze, and the pack will snooze contentedly.

  17. 17.

    shortstop

    We’ve had to start timing our weekend naps to coincide with those of the toddler upstairs. Otherwise, just as we’re flopping down, she’s getting up, and she thumps thumps thumps thumps thumps thumps thumps thumps thumps thumps thumps back and forth endlessly, endlessly, fucking endlessly. Did I mention endlessly?

    Yeah, price we pay for buying in a 100-year-old building with wood floors and joists.

    But I can’t wait until she’s school-aged.

  21. 21.

    trollhattan

    @cathyx:

    This duplicates my experience almost exactly. Two years and done–only naps in the car on long trips now.

    Fruuuustrating

  22. 22.

    Jazz Superluminar

    Cole, what was that weak-ass shit with the I/P thread? I just read thru and it was basically boring-you didn’t do enough on the OP to really start anything IMO. Better FP trolling next time please.

  24. 24.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Jazz Superluminar:

    Cole, what was that weak-ass shit with the I/P thread? I just read thru and it was basically boring-you didn’t do enough on the OP to really start anything IMO. Better FP trolling next time please.

    Not John’s fault that eemom didn’t go apeshit celebrating the death of palestinians. He did everything but kill ’em for her.

  28. 28.

    The Dangerman

    Pardon the stupid question from a SoCal type, but I’ve yet to hear anyone say from these tornadoes that they were saved by their storm shelter; don’t they build those any longer? Seems like that would be part of the deal of living there (like in Socal, we stock water/food for when the Big One hits).

  29. 29.

    Jazz Superluminar

    @JSF
    yes, you have a point there. Could’ve done with some decent m_c Israel hating too. Sigh. I wanted there to be blood, but it was not to be (loved your final solution comment, valiant attempt but didn’t really spark anything).

  30. 30.

    Southern Beale

    Evening Peeps! So I see ABL is on the “Eric Cantor Is A Dick” beat. Yes, he is.

    Please keep this up, Republicans. Americans need to hear you declare your agenda loud and clear before the 2012 election.

    What’s happening in NY?

  31. 31.

    El Cid

    Good thing the hyper-pressure especially American business and work model is eroding the habit in so many countries, i.e., Mexico, or Spain, where it’s pretty common sense to allow people a couple hours in the middle of the day for dinner with family and possibly a bit of a nap.

    Clearly our ancestors on the savannah and spreading throughout the world weren’t foolish enough to give into the apparent biological rhythm of feeling like napping in the middle of the day, especially after a meal.

    No wonder they were so primitive. Had they known how to work a full day and not go on so many vacations (relocating, migrating, transhumance), clearly they would have achieved a lot more in a shorter time.

  32. 32.

    Southern Beale

    Okay I guess pen1s is an embargoed word?

    Retrying:

    Evening Peeps! So I see ABL is on the “Eric Cantor Is A Dick” beat. Yes, he is a giant pen1s-head.

    Please keep this up, Republicans. Americans need to hear you declare your agenda loud and clear before the 2012 election.

    What’s happening in NY?

  33. 33.

    Southern Beale

    @The Dangerman:

    I’m sure people were saved by storm shelters, seems like most of the damage is property damage? But no, the new flimsy construction BofA approves doesn’t include funds for a cellar these days.

  34. 34.

    Suffern ACE

    Napping 10 minutes per day before dinner. It replaced happy hour when everyone got kids and didn’t go out after work any longer.

  35. 35.

    John O

    I think the cultures who go by “get up when you get up, work your ass off, take a nap, work some more and and then go out and play” have it right.

    But I’m from a long family of nappers (I think the Finn in me figures we might as well sleep) and love ’em myself.

  36. 36.

    RedKitten

    Oh god…naps. They’re a beautiful, beautiful thing.

    Oh wait, you mean naps for ME? Yeah, those are great too. It doesn’t happen too often, though. I usually take advantage of SamKitten’s naptime to just have some peace and quiet to myself, and to be able to use the toilet without him barging in and blowing raspberries on my thighs.

    I got back from a work trip to Calgary last week and was jet-lagged as hell. I had that day off, and so was planning on a nice nap while the kid was sleeping, to make up for my lost sleep. I had JUST fallen asleep when the phone rang. It was Air Canada on the line, saying that they’d be at my door in an hour to deliver my delayed luggage. So no nap for me. I could have cried.

    There is nothing worse than a nap denied, especially once you’ve already gotten into optimal napping position.

  37. 37.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @The Dangerman: Just saw a report from somewhere in Okla. where the home was basically wiped off the foundation, but the family came out afterwards to wave down the TV helicopter. They were all in their basement storm shelter, which saved their lives.

  39. 39.

    Hawes

    The cultures that cherish the siesta are the most civilized on earth. At least from a human happiness perspective.

    Get up. Work. Eat a nice big meal. Sleep for two hour. Work. Eat. Party until after midnight.

    Repeat as necessary.

  41. 41.

    The Dangerman

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    They were all in their basement storm shelter, which saved their lives.

    I think I just saw that clip, too; I’ve heard bathtubs, closets, mattresses, and similar, but first one I heard of a storm cellar.

  44. 44.

    Mnemosyne

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    That’s the thing that’s so fucking scary about tornadoes, though — you literally have no idea what shelter is going to work. A guy in this story’s life was saved because he didn’t get to the basement — the whole house collapsed into the basement.

  45. 45.

    PurpleGirl

    If you think about it, in The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy is left outside when the family and the farm workers have closed themselves in a storm cellar. She tries to get in but can’t open the door.

  46. 46.

    Elizabelle

    Keep me posted on how the race in NY 26 fares.

    Hoping we will have a relatively quick overwhelming victory for the Dem.

    Fingers crossed.

  47. 47.

    Linda Featheringill

    @The Dangerman:

    I was watching an OK City live cam and they mentioned talking to some folks who had gone to shelter, along with some neighbors that jointly went to underground shelter.

    These people were still alive to talk about it.

    Their town looks like hell, though.

  49. 49.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    @Mike E: I honestly had no idea that I held my mouth in that weird position while listening to someone else. A bunch of people have said I looked fine, and my husband said “What mouth thing? I can’t see what you’re talking about” – but my 2nd grader immediately said “Why is your mouth like that?”

    So… yeah. I figure as long as the words coming out made sense!

    (And thank you!)

  51. 51.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I can’t wait to find out why God is punishing rural red Republican America so severely. You know it’s gotta be juicy, maybe something with homosexuality like happened in New Orleans, or Satanism like in Haiti or paganism, abortion, feminism and alternative lifestyles like New York on 9/11.

  56. 56.

    Felinious Wench

    The days my sons stopped taking afternoon naps were some of my worst days of motherhood.

  58. 58.

    kdaug

    @The Dangerman:

    say from these tornadoes that they were saved by their storm shelter; don’t they build those any longer?

    In most of Central Texas anyway (Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Houston) no one has a basement or underground storm shelter – the whole thing sits on bedrock. If you wanted a basement or storm shelter, you’d have to blast it out.

    Fortunately for us, global weirding is moving the storms to the north. Unfortunately for us, we’re turning into desert.

  59. 59.

    gogol's wife

    @Mnemosyne:

    Throughout a childhood in which we spent much of every spring in our basement listening to a transistor radio, I kept asking my mother why the brick house wouldn’t just fall into the basement and kill us all. She never answered me.

    Good to hear (in thread below this one) that Soonergrunt is okay.

  61. 61.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @eemom:

    sharp catch though.

    Only someone as dumb as you would think it’s “sharp” to identify you by one of your typical “fuckie and John” yawners.

    And the gratuitous slam on shortstop there at the end for, what-pointing out you are you?- was the nasteemom cherry on top.

  62. 62.

    JPL

    I’m shocked that a republican would call Elizabeth Warren a liar..just shocked

    WASHINGTON — A House committee hearing on Tuesday about the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau disintegrated into heated accusations of lying, with the panel’s chairman accusing Elizabeth Warren of giving misleading testimony at a hearing in March and of making up facts about her agreement to testify this week. Representative Patrick T. McHenry, a North Carolina Republican who is chairman of a subcommittee of the House oversight committee, told Ms. Warren, who is directing the start of the consumer agency, that he believed she had misled Congress about her role in settlement talks between government authorities and mortgage servicing companies.

    link to nytimes

  63. 63.

    Jules

    We live in a dbl wide in Arkansas that survived a tornado that picked the 2 houses next to us up and scattered them across the woods behind us (no one was killed) while we hid in the closet. That tornado proceeded to rip though a neighborhood up the rode from us with houses that cost over $200,000…some had nothing left but a concrete slab.

    Our house did move a bit, we had it put back and had a storm shelter put in. They are not cheap but the cost was shared with 4 other families. I use it more then anyone else because storms scare the fuck out of me.
    I’ll probably spend some time it tonight.
    (knock on wood)
    I hope I never have to say that it saved my life because, yeah that would mean I was homeless.

  64. 64.

    gogol's wife

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther:

    I thought you were very good, and I didn’t notice the mouth thing. But I was wondering — is this a TV station for expats? Or do Russians watch it because it has better news? I really should know these things.

  65. 65.

    Corner Stone

    @kdaug:

    the whole thing sits on bedrock

    True of Austin and SA, but Houston sits on clay.
    Dallas sits on the bones of snobby SMU grads.

  66. 66.

    eemom

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    whatever are you talking about, fuckie?

    I figured you must be really lonely to call Bullshit, so I was just trying to help.

    ‘Sides, everybody knows you are seething in a jealous rage that John posted a thread when I asked him to.

  68. 68.

    kdaug

    @Corner Stone: Still ain’t never seen a basement in Houston – maybe cause it’s clay and the water seepage is an issue.

    But you may have a point about Dallas – still never saw a basement up there either (lived there for 20 years), but I reckon the petrified bones of SMU grads would likely be harder than bedrock, anyway.

  71. 71.

    Corner Stone

    @kdaug: Nah, no basements anywhere to be found at 30 ft above sea level.
    My point was we don’t have bedrock here, we have good, delicious gumbo clay and a high water table.
    If you meet someone who lives in H-Town and tells you they have a “basement”? Run.

  75. 75.

    shortstop

    Ugh….the third baseman is currently a couple of miles from the Love Field tornado, huddled in a bathroom with eight coworkers atop the aforementioned bedrock. There’s gotta be a joke there, but I’m not seeing it until this is over.

    @eemom: “Role model”? Seriously, WTF is wrong with you?

    My thinking that you’re a hyperemotional, hilariously un-self-aware control freak does not, in fact, automatically ally me with any of the many, many other people here who have zero use for your mouth. We’re a diverse bunch with nothing much to unify us other than a complete lack of respect for your history of comments.

    You got your clique, I ain’t got mine. Startling concept for a wholly binary thinker, iddinnit?

  76. 76.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    You can be in my clique if ya want, shortstop. It’s tough out there without a gang to bank you up, go to war for ya when you need it..

    *begins snapping*

  77. 77.

    shortstop

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Officer Krupke? Yes, this man is bothering me! Thanks!

    Man, you guys are such pains in the ass. Like high school wasn’t bad enough the first time around.

    Wow, I am really worried about the third baseman and his work buddies. Not getting reports fast enough.

  78. 78.

    eemom

    @shortstop:

    oh, there’s a growing contingent who ain’t got no use for you either, sweetie.

    You’re kind of a self-righteous, scoldy little twat yerself, knowwhatImsayin?

    We’ll talk again. : )

  79. 79.

    eemom

    @Corner Stone:

    ah, no good deed goes unpunished.

    I look forward to your substantive response to my linkie above. And, you know, your APOLOGY.

    love,
    Bullshit

  80. 80.

    Corner Stone

    @eemom: Uh, Bullshit, did you even bother to read what you linked to? Embedded as a link inside what you linked to is a report about a BBC programme about the shooting in the Med.
    It’s not even an official report by anyone. It’s a critique about a BBC show.
    And still, somehow, they agree that nine people died on that ship in international waters when Israeli commandos came on board and killed them.

    A boat with a boatload of food and aid supplies and building materials, and NO weapons. The poor Israeli commandos got hit with makeshift weapons, according to the report.
    Unlike the 9 people who were executed with head shots from a firearm.

  81. 81.

    shortstop

    @eemom: Christ, do not tell me eemom’s matchless charms include being an apologist for IDF piracy.

    @eemom: I’m not too worried about what Allan thinks in between writing alternately sobbing and shrieking emails to our host. But “twats” again? That’s some tasty vintage “do as I constantly bitch about, not as I do” eemom. If your ability to look a few seconds down the road matched your bottomless random spite by, say, 25 percent, you’d have something there besides unguided missiledom.

    Nah, we won’t “talk” again. You’ll talk, and no one will listen, the way we almost always do it. The way almost everyone here does it.

  82. 82.

    eemom

    @Corner Stone:

    um, yes — that is why I said, you need to watch the program.

    Which was made by that renowned “British Apologist” (read: n.o.t), the BBC.

    Which was attacked for being too “pro-Israel.”

    Which was reviewed by the BBC Board of Trustees, who concluded as you saw.

    Now. Be a good little asshole, and go WATCH THE PROGRAM. Or else I will be forced to conclude that you actually don’t give a shit about the issue you’ve been arguing about for a year now. And that would be such a very terrible shock to me.

    love,
    kisses,
    hugs,
    and sympathetic glances at your pants,
    Bullshit

  83. 83.

    eemom

    @shortstop:

    erm, no, not exactly. I think you misunderestimate a few facts. It’s understandable, however, since you’re all pumped up with having the mighty Fuckhead in your clique gang.

    Snap. Snap.

    But ok, we’ll assume you’re the kewl kid. I talk and nobody listens, while you talk and everybody listens. Right? Wanna start keeping score now?

  84. 84.

    eemom

    @Corner Stone:

    oh dear. On reflection I see that I didn’t spell this out in simple enough terms.

    1. The BBC made a documentary, based on exhaustive interviews of people on both sides, by a reporter of impeccably unbiased credentials, of the flotilla incident;

    2. The documentary revealed that Cornered Stone’s designated “innocents” were less than innocent;

    3. The documentary was attacked by people who give a shit about something other than Cornered Stone’s ego that is sized in inverse proportion to his itty bitty dick/brain;

    4. The official BBC Trustees conclusion, based upon consideration of the actual merits of the attacks by persons likewise unencumbered by Cornered Stone’s dick/brain, was that the documentary was correct.

    Still waiting for that apology.

    Your Obedient Servant,
    Bullshit

  85. 85.

    shortstop

    @eemom: Who could have predicted that you’d spectacularly miss the point…again?

    What part of “I don’t do cliques” was so hard to understand? Is it really that difficult for you to fathom how normal, busy grownups handle occasional visits to various blogs?

    Your–well, “enemy” is too strong a word for general distaste, but for the sake of the old platitude, your enemy and your enemy are not necessarily pals. I imagine thinking so is easier for you than facing the possibility that you put unassociated people off right and left–I can remember some threads in which 20 or 30 people calmly told you you were being an ass and you just started wildly “fuck youing” in every direction and claiming conspiracy–but your complete inability to self-examine or back down from a bad position ain’t our problem.

    As for the “I talk and everybody listens,” there’s your super-limiting binary thinking again. You really can’t do any better than to turn every comment into an either-or proposition, can you? My noting that you’ve become the voice of Charlie Brown’s teacher here does not, except for the clinically dim, equal an assertion that I’ve got (or pathologically need) people’s ear. I ain’t that kind of commenter here.

    See you around. I’ll be the one checking in to enjoy the conversation and then going about my varied business. You’ll be the one standing in the middle of the room swinging in all directions and screaming, “Look at me, motherfuckers! I SAID LOOK AT ME!!!”

  87. 87.

    eemom

    ….something about spending time clamoring for attention from someone unimportant at the bottom of a long dead thread, p’raps?

    also too: if u r rdg ths cmt, u lose.

    see ya round.

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