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You are here: Home / Economics / Free Markets Solve Everything / Good Luck Enforcing That One

Good Luck Enforcing That One

by John Cole|  May 26, 20117:44 pm| 84 Comments

This post is in: Free Markets Solve Everything, Assholes

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Not actually the NYSE, so don’t send me a stupid fucking letter, Kendra Goldenberg.

***

Apparently the clowns at the NYSE think that they can keep everyone from publishing pictures of the floor of the exchange. Good luck with that, clowns.

Some days, I think a lot of this country’s problems can be tracked directly to too many lawyers and pundits with too much time on their hands. Play some minesweeper, surf some porn, shop on Amazon, make a pandora channel, or get a facebook account, Ms. Goldenberg.

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Reader Interactions

84Comments

  1. 1.

    Ty Lookwell

    May 26, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines back on!

    Turn those machines back on!!!

  2. 2.

    beltane

    May 26, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    We suffer from an over-abundance of non-productive “productive” people who contribute nothing to society. It looks like you found another one.

  3. 3.

    cathyx

    May 26, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    ABL is going to kill you.

  4. 4.

    BGinCHI

    May 26, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    B…b…b…buy Bushwood!!??

  5. 5.

    Ruckus

    May 26, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    I want to see a picture of them jumping out the windows.

    Preferably the top floor.

  6. 6.

    Warren Terra

    May 26, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    I liked how on the second page this ultra-intimidating expensively written Lawyer Letter managed to misidentify TPM as TMP.

  7. 7.

    graz

    May 26, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    That would be the floor of the now destroyed commodities exchange in the former WTC.

  8. 8.

    Judas Escargot

    May 26, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    As my grandmother used to say, “the Cat has leave to look at the Queen.”

  9. 9.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    May 26, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    (h/t) cleveland browns council, circa 1971.

    dear ms. goldberg.

    please be advised that some asshole is signing your name to stupid letters.

  10. 10.

    Violet

    May 26, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    Hey! Stop picking on America’s Job Creators!

  11. 11.

    Corner Stone

    May 26, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    Cole, some times you are sublime my man.

  12. 12.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    I guess we can’t eat them either then?

  13. 13.

    freelancer

    May 26, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    You can’t take a picture from the Galtian overlords on the NYSE floor because they possess not even the requisite fraction of a soul that a camera would take.

  14. 14.

    Peter Herb

    May 26, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    That’s the Commodities Exchange at the World Trade Center (used with permission in the movie!!!).

  15. 15.

    Corner Stone

    May 26, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    @cathyx: I’m not touching this one with a ten foot pole.

  16. 16.

    beltane

    May 26, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    @Violet: Everyone should see that banner. It’s unreal. Must be the work of a Randian intern. Any non “job creator” who supports these asshats is nothing more than a grovelling, servile shell of a human being.

  17. 17.

    JonF

    May 26, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    Institutions and employees have to pretend to justify their salaries lol

  18. 18.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    I’m not touching this one with a ten foot pole.

    Why are you dancing around this one?

  19. 19.

    Corner Stone

    May 26, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    OT, but by the by. Serbia is rubbing our faces in it:
    Serbia arrests Mladic on war crimes charges

  20. 20.

    cathyx

    May 26, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    @Corner Stone: Do you mean a pole dancing pole?

  21. 21.

    beltane

    May 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Our overlords are too fatty and bland to be palatable. Maybe it would help if they were prepared like duck.

  22. 22.

    Josie

    May 26, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    @Violet: The jokes just sort of write themselves on that slogan. I’m not clever enough, but I’m sure many on this blog and others will be inspired to great heights.

  23. 23.

    dmsilev

    May 26, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    @beltane:

    Our overlords are too fatty and bland to be palatable. Maybe it would help if they were prepared like duck.

    Foie gras de Galt?

  24. 24.

    beltane

    May 26, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    @Josie: The slogan itself looks like it was written here. These people have become impossible to spoof.

  25. 25.

    Jenny

    May 26, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    Off topic

    Right now, Lawrence O’ Donnell is shredding the New York Times for giving Grifter Palin so much space.

    It’s hilarious.

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    May 26, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: I just hope for his sake Lil Timmy, Interrupted doesn’t discover that performance art of a thread.

  27. 27.

    Baud

    May 26, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    @Jenny: I came here to post the same thing. Hilarious!

  28. 28.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    I just hope for his sake Lil Timmy, Interrupted doesn’t discover that performance art of a thread

    Like moths to a light, my friend. Ya can’t fight 15 million years of evolutionary biology.

  29. 29.

    lamh34

    May 26, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    @Jenny: I’m watching that too. Gotta love the way Lawrence if breaking it down.

  30. 30.

    Corner Stone

    May 26, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Well, Fred is killin’ it. So I guess there’s that.

  31. 31.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Like moths to a light

    Sorry, that shoulda been “Like moths to a bugzapper”.

  32. 32.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Well, Fred is killin’ it. So I guess there’s that.

    Is there a betting line on when he’s banned yet?

  33. 33.

    PurpleGirl

    May 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    JC:

    Some days, I think a lot of this country’s problems can be tracked directly to too many lawyers and pundits with too much time on their hands.

    In 1985 (or so) Tom Paxton wrote a song called One Million Lawyers. IIRC, the chorus was:

    In ten years we’re gonna have one million lawyers,
    one million lawyers, one million lawyers.
    In ten years we’re gonna have one million lawyers,
    How much can a poor nation stand.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFvOnUJoZ-Y

    Not a video of Paxton singing the song — pictures of disasters.

  34. 34.

    stickler

    May 26, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    I still want to give $100 to that guy back in 2008 who stood outside the NYSE with the sign that read:

    JUMP! YOU FUCKERS!

    Back in 1929 at least the banksters and greedheads had the common decency to do the ten-story mea culpa every now and then.

  35. 35.

    Swellsman

    May 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Speaking as a lawyer, the sad thing is that for too many of us when the client calls and asks you to do something you go ahead and do it – even if it is bullshit.

    I had a very close friend some years ago (back when I was in Miami) who was a First Amendment lawyer and a huge boat fiend. While taking a day off to attend the Miami Boat Show he got a phone call from one of his clients – a boat manufacturer. Someone who had purchased one of the client’s boats was unhappy with it and was cruising back and forth on the water next to the boat show with a big sign that said the clients’ boats “SUCKED!”

    The client, obviously fearing the bad publicity, needed my friend to march into court that afternoon to get an injunction to prevent the guy from continuing to do that during the boat show. Of course, there was no legal justification for seeking an injunction; the guy had an absolute right to express his opinion abou the client’s boats.

    Nevertheless, money talks and my friend went to court on a losing argument and tried to get an emergency injunction. As he told me later he was sure he would fail and, in fact, he was glad he failed, but he had to do it anyway because the client was paying and because he could cobble an argument that, though weak, wasn’t completely, entirely without merit.

    This was another one of those little things that eventually persuaded me to get out of litigation.

  36. 36.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    @PurpleGirl:

    Not a video of Paxton singing the song—pictures of disasters.

    Everyone hates a lawyer until you don’t have one and your boat floats away.

  37. 37.

    PurpleGirl

    May 26, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: It’s a very snappy song. Did you listen to it?

  38. 38.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    @PurpleGirl:

    It’s a very snappy song. Did you listen to it?

    I can’t, stupid speakers aren’t working ATM. I bookmarked it.

  39. 39.

    Bob

    May 26, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    Speaking of too many lawyers with nothing to do, here’s a knee slapper, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/26/us/26wellywood.html?scp=1&sq=wellywood&st=cse

  40. 40.

    joeyess

    May 26, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    I’m guessing that they don’t want ‘Murkins to see them eating Applebee’s take-out salad bar with their gold flatware.

  41. 41.

    lamh34

    May 26, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    I know all the fan boys are kinda excited about Green Latern, but this fan girl is more excited about:
    X-Men: First Class

    Am I the only one who totally can’t wait to see this next week?

    Seeing the bit at the end of the trailer where all those missiles are coming towards the X-Men and Magneto holds out his hand…I have a feeling that Magneto will steal the whole movie!!!

  42. 42.

    General Stuck

    May 26, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    and pundits with too much time on their hands. Play some minesweeper, surf some porn, shop on Amazon, make a pandora channel, or get a facebook account

    Or they could tune into Balloon Juice and watch cornerstone/fuckhead circle jerk Thursday.

  43. 43.

    PurpleGirl

    May 26, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Please don’t think that I hate lawyers. I once worked for a large corporate firm as a paralegal in their Public Utilities department. I dealt with power purchase contracts and electric rate cases.

    ETA: But it working as a copyeditor at Matthew Bender that once got me out of jury duty.

  44. 44.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    A response drafted by one of the lawyers at The Fogbow

    “Dear Ms. Goldenberg:

    Someone has apparently stolen your stationery and has just written me a preposterous letter pretending be you. It sounds as if it comes from a jackass since our use of a photograph of the NYSE trading floor is meant to convey economic and trading activity. It does not seek to pass off the NYSE tradename or brand, which any fool exercising a modicum of common sense could ascertain.

    By parity of reasoning, any time someone posted a photograph of automobile traffic on a highway, he would have to obtain the permission of each automobile company which manufactured each of the cars depicted. Since the trademark laws do not require this, and it would be stupid to suggest it, we are certain that someone is trying to make you look like an idiot.

    Once you find out who stole your stationery, please advise us. We hope the person is prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

    And to let you know that there are no hard feelings, we’re posting more NYSE trading floor photos. We may even post some showing people holding pieces of paper or actually speaking and conducting transactions.

    Sincerely,

    Your friends at TPM”

  45. 45.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    @PurpleGirl:

    Please don’t think that I hate lawyers.

    Hate is such a strong word.

  46. 46.

    wobblybits

    May 26, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt: all kinds of awesome

  47. 47.

    hilts

    May 26, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    @Jenny:

    Agreed, Lawrence O’Donnell did a great job on the Palin feeding frenzy.

    It’s just too bad that on the same network hours earlier, Chris Matthews was his usual, drooling self and practically begged Palin to get into the presidential race. Matthews can’t do a segment about Palin without mentioning how attractive she is at least 5 times.

    If Palin is crazy enough to get in this race, Matthews will have a whole bunch of erections lasting more than 4 hours.

  48. 48.

    soonergrunt

    May 26, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    Totally off topic here. I joined the union today.

  49. 49.

    KeithW

    May 26, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    The Eiffel Tower at night is trademarked, and commercial use of photographs/movies of it require you to buy a license. True story.

  50. 50.

    Roger Moore

    May 26, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    I think the obvious solution is to replace any picture of NYSE with a photo of a horse’s ass. It will comply with their request not to use photographs from the floor while simultaneously showing what you think of them.

  51. 51.

    tkogrumpy

    May 26, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    When I saw this story last night the very first thing that came into my mind was……..you guessed it the movie Trading places. Great minds………….

  52. 52.

    TBogg

    May 26, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    So anyone want to buy some naked pictures of Kendra Goldenberg? Royalty free, of course…

  53. 53.

    Roger Moore

    May 26, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    @KeithW:
    IIRC, it’s only the light displays that are protected (which is why it’s only the night view that’s protected), and the protection is a copyright rather than trademark. Note that this would not fly in the US, since the exterior appearance of buildings is explicitly excluded from copyright protection.

  54. 54.

    NobodySpecial

    May 26, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    @soonergrunt:

    Totally off topic here. I joined the union today.

    Why do you hate America? 8D

  55. 55.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 26, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    @soonergrunt: Good on ya, mate.

  56. 56.

    eemom

    May 26, 2011 at 9:12 pm

    @General Stuck:

    won’t be a complete circle jerk until Timmeh and Fred get here — but I don’t think fuckie and Corned can hold out until then.

  57. 57.

    John M

    May 26, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    It’s amazing that the chief counsel for the NYSE doesn’t know that using “Esq.” to refer to herself is ithe height of pomposity and is just bad form. It would be like a judge referring to himself as “my honor.”. Uh oh, better not give Scalia any ideas.

  58. 58.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 26, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    @TBogg: Why buy what can be downloaded for free?

  59. 59.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    @John M:

    It’s amazing that the chief counsel for the NYSE doesn’t know that using “Esq.” to refer to herself is ithe height of pomposity and is just bad form.

    ORLY?

    lolz

  60. 60.

    Jenny

    May 26, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    @hilts: He acts as if he’s never seen a woman. While Palin is photogenic, so are tens of millions of women.

  61. 61.

    Cliff in NH

    May 26, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    This is almost exactly the situation that faced a guest on the floor of the CME pit today, Ben (tradersaudio.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mC4tu1NhUA ) insisted to the guest that they must not take pics that show the pit. .. Its just a rule of the pit, though I never heard of such a thing for the NYSE tho, as there are tons of pics of the NYSE

  62. 62.

    joeyess

    May 26, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    @TBogg: only if they’re naked pictures of her on the trading floor.

  63. 63.

    tkogrumpy

    May 26, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    @stickler: I hate to tell you this, but they didn’t jump out of a sense of shame or responsibilty, they jumped because they were personally financially ruined. Today’s masters of the universe are much too clever for that.

  64. 64.

    Poopyman

    May 26, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    @soonergrunt: Congrats!
    (There’s a topic?)

  65. 65.

    Mike M

    May 26, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    I’m not an attorney, but I have filed for plenty of trademarks over the years with and without attorney assistance in the course of doing business. I would like someone to explain to me how a photograph taken of the floor of the NYSE “from virtually any angle” could fit the rules for the “depiction of the mark” under US trademark law. I can understand how you could trademark a specific picture, but not any and all depictions of the NYSE floor.

    I looked at the trademark database quickly and I see that the NYSE has registered a rough drawing that shows some people in suits standing by the clock above the trading floor. Is the NYSE suggesting that this drawing is a stand-in for any possible photos of the floor? Wow.

  66. 66.

    Cliff in NH

    May 26, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    if it was a open outcry pit like the CME I could sortta/kinda/(notreally) understand as a photo will show bid/ask(@time x) but since it isn’t LIVE I can’t understand the point of complaining about it in any of the pits.

  67. 67.

    cleek

    May 26, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    too many lawyers and not enough food.
    this is what we’ve seen.
    driven to tears.
    (best guitar solo ever)

  68. 68.

    soonergrunt

    May 26, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    @efgoldman: the American Federation of Government Employees

    Rights not fought for are rights abandoned.

  69. 69.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    @Jenny:

    He acts as if he’s never seen a woman. While Palin is photogenic, so are tens of millions of women.

    It’s because he’s conditioned to only see women as objects of sexual gratification and not as colleagues or degreed professionals or whatever. He looks and acts like a fairly young guy but he’s pushing towards 70. He is a product of his times.

  70. 70.

    General Stuck

    May 26, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    Matthews will have a whole bunch of erections lasting more than 4 hours.

    What happens when you see Alice too often.

  71. 71.

    Jebediah

    May 26, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    @soonergrunt:

    I joined the union today.

    You and I are in different unions, but welcome. Have you had your union-thug training yet?

  72. 72.

    Mike G

    May 26, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    I just trademarked my street address, so if some dipshit lawyer at the NYSE wants to send me a nasty letter because I used an old photograph of the trading floor, they will need my permission to type an envelope with my street address, which can be granted for a substantial licensing fee.

  73. 73.

    soonergrunt

    May 26, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    @Jebediah:

    Have you had your union-thug training yet?

    Well, the grandmotherly type at the local office who took my papers seemed like she could kick ass with the best of them. Told me stories about some of the things that she’s seen in 43 years (longer than my life) of federal employment and union membership. Gave me a home-baked cookie, too.

    I go for basic thuggery on the weekends starting next month, and then advanced thuggery and intimidation with a specialization of terrorizing Business Admin majors next year after I pass my probationary period.

  74. 74.

    Jebediah

    May 26, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    @soonergrunt:
    You picked a very important and under-served specialization – good for you! I picked Scab-Scaring.
    I hear any of us who scares a teabagger away from a polling place gets a special patch. Can’t wait for the next election!

  75. 75.

    soonergrunt

    May 26, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    @Jebediah: Scab-scaring, huh? Well, federal government employees don’t have the right to strike, so we don’t have a lot of scabs to deal with, but we’re being done to death by these so-called ‘management majors’ who can’t manage their way out of the restroom, but never saw a workload they couldn’t cut staff from to justify their own positions.

  76. 76.

    Yutsano

    May 26, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    @soonergrunt:

    Told me stories about some of the things that she’s seen in 43 years (longer than my life) of federal employment and union membership. Gave me a home-baked cookie, too.

    You met Elizabeth Warren? I haz a jelus!

    And welcome to the brotherhood man.

  77. 77.

    Jebediah

    May 26, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    @soonergrunt:
    Oy. I don’t envy you that one bit. That kind of jerkery can’t really be applied to my line of work all that often. (But not never.)
    And I’m off on my union-mandated meal break, by means of which I immorally steal profits that rightly belong to my betters by not working straight through. (Joke’s on me, though. I almost always run down the street, grab something to go and come back to my desk and eat while working. So I guess my betters actually do win again…)

  78. 78.

    stickler

    May 26, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    @tkogrumpy: Tkogrumpy …

    Yeah, I know. They were just greedheads whose dice rolls had come up snakeheads.

    What I lament, and that guy with the “JUMP! YOU FUCKERS!” sign was lamenting, was the fact that in 1929, at least a few of the bastards who caused the disaster had the decency to cease their oxygen wastage on this earth. And our Galtian overlords have been conspicuously remiss in said obeisance.

    Wait: why? Could it be that the Market and its Invisible Hand actually performed in 1929-33? And the punishment so richly due the malefactors of great wealth DIDN’T HAPPEN in 2008-now? Hmmm.

  79. 79.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    May 27, 2011 at 3:50 am

    @stickler:

    if only it were so.

    the thing about 1929-31 was that the brokers, traders, etc were getting high on their own supply, it wasn’t just their client’s money they were losing.

    the self-regulation was nothing more than nowadays they risk other people’s money on the exotics, and keep their bonuses grounded in reliable investments.

  80. 80.

    Frankensteinbeck (The ex-Uloborus)

    May 27, 2011 at 6:18 am

    @efgoldman:
    Yeah, I’m glad somebody else notices. She was always plastic and lined with hate, but she’s moving on towards ‘crypt keeper’. I do not see the attraction.

    @General Stuck:
    I’m guessing this is some reference to the V Drug, but I admit, the female lead in Tim Burton’s Alice was CUTE. To be tasteful about it.

  81. 81.

    AngerplusageequalsED/T-Pahtee!

    May 27, 2011 at 8:47 am

    Dear Kendra Goldenberg, Esq:

    You look like you’re so happy here: http://www.newyorksocialdiary.com/node/1901590 (scroll down about halfway–she’s the sweaty one who looks like Megan McCardle’s Gamma sister). What happened? When did you become such a tool? I’m sure your well-heeled and well-connected parents told you there would be days like this. When the media takes photos of my place of business, we can’t do anything about it because we don’t have access to “talent” like you. Enjoy the arts with your friends the Koch Brothers!

    Sincerely,

    Just A Common Bit of Working Class Who’s Stupidly Got His Retirement in the Shell Game that is the NYSE.

  82. 82.

    grumpy realist

    May 27, 2011 at 8:58 am

    I think we can chalk this little legal embroglio up to either “nitwit client thinking he can bully some $ out of someone” or “ack, I have to have this sort of letter written to show I’m trying to protect my mark.”

    It’s amazing what rubbish gets sent out under the last. Unfortunately, not enough recipients realize their own rights under the law and tell the sender to piss off. (I can’t find it now, but there’s one absolutely gorgeous example floating around the web. It did help that the CEO of the accused company had been an IP lawyer.)

  83. 83.

    dave

    May 27, 2011 at 9:53 am

    This is a complete non story that has been ginned up by TPM to generate outrage and traffic.

    Trademark owners have a legal obligation to actively and aggressively police their marks. If they fail to do so they risk the possibility of losing their right to the mark.

    As a result of this, lawyers for major corporations and trademark holders hire paralegals to surf the internet looking for anything that smells remotely like a violation of the trademark. Paralegals are not formally trianed and are isntructed to flag anything that remotely resembles tradmakr ifnringment.

    The paralegal then writes a cease and desist letter which is signed by an attorney. This form letter’s only purpose (except where the violation is clear) is to maintain the strength of and right to the trademark.

    I guarantee the NYSE will take absolutely no further action on this matter, regardless of TPM’s response.

    The only interesting questions here are(1) is TPM aware that these facts and just cynically misleading its readers in order to generate page views and (2) whether any of TPM’s readers will begin to question the integrity of TPM as a result of this.

    I would bet that the answers to these questions are: (1) Yes and (2) No.

  84. 84.

    AngerplusageequalsED/T-Pahtee!

    May 27, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    dave=tool

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