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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / Open Thread

Open Thread

by John Cole|  May 31, 20119:07 pm| 268 Comments

This post is in: Dog Blogging

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Put on clean sheets today, so you know what that means:

She loves clean sheets. Not sure what is up with that ear action, though. Meanwhile, resident EVIL is underneath the chair in my office alternating between gnawing on and guarding an everlasting treat ball. Tunch is in his bedroom. That’s right, we no longer call it the spare bedroom. He wins. I give up trying to keep him out.

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Reader Interactions

268Comments

  1. 1.

    stuckinred

    May 31, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    She’s on alert!

  2. 2.

    General Stuck

    May 31, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    Purple sheets. interesting. Lily is a doll, as usual.

  3. 3.

    beltane

    May 31, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    She’s listening for the sound of Tunch’s mighty footsteps as he prowls the house looking for his next meal.

  4. 4.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 31, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    Cool.. yer house has a tunchroom. That should add some resale value.

  5. 5.

    Ghanima Atreides

    May 31, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    you should rename Rosie to Alice.

    what’s the fence progress? you will like each other much better if she is tired.

  6. 6.

    Brian S

    May 31, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    Some very good friends let us borrow their kegerator for our wedding this Saturday–Very Good Friends–and one of our cats has decided she wants to know what the fuss is about..

  7. 7.

    stuckinred

    May 31, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    Rachel is announcing another MOH right now, he’s alive and had done EIGHT tours, 2 in Iraq and 6 in Afpak.

  8. 8.

    Cat Lady

    May 31, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    I want whatever an everlasting treat ball is for myself. It sounds like something from Wonka’s chocolate factory.

  9. 9.

    Calming Influence

    May 31, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    Tunch is in his bedroom. That’s right, we no longer call it the spare bedroom. He wins. I give up trying to keep him out.

    I just think it’s remarkable that you still think any part of the house is yours.

  10. 10.

    South of I-10

    May 31, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    @General Stuck: That’s navy blue, not purple!

    Who doesn’t like clean sheets?

  11. 11.

    MattR

    May 31, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    Been dealing with a second dog for a couple days and it is already starting to try my patience. She is the sweetest thing and much better behaved than Ellie, but she still screws up the comfortable routine that Ellie and I settled into. I can only imagine what adding Rosie was like for you, John.

    My temporary dog has been having loose stool (I assume due to stress and the fact that I cant keep the dogs out of each others food). Anyone have a suggestion for a homemade remedy to help that out? Would giving her some rice help to bind her up?

  12. 12.

    jl

    May 31, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    “Tunch is in his bedroom. That’s right, we no longer call it the spare bedroom. He wins. I give up trying to keep him out.”

    Look, dude, its Tunch’s effing house inhabited by Tunch’s effing worthless inadequate and ungrateful manservant. I thought that was settled long ago.

    Why is Cole worrying about one room in Tunch’s house?

    PS: Glad the Resident Evil is chewing on something other than Cole, at least some of the time.

    Also too, Lily is a cute dog.

  13. 13.

    Violet

    May 31, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    @General Stuck:

    Purple sheets. interesting.

    Look navy blue to me.

    Lily is adorable. Such a sweetie.

  14. 14.

    Comrade Mary

    May 31, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Yeah, another vote for navy blue. Nice sheets. Gorgeous puppeh!

  15. 15.

    General Stuck

    May 31, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    @South of I-10:

    Who doesn’t like clean sheets?

    Clean sheets are great, and so are purple Navy Blue sheets. It is just something foreign to me. But then I’m the guy who has used a purple sleeping bag as a comforter for ten years, until it expired recently RIP. With Red drapes and a blue carpet.

    Actually, clean sheets are almost gawdly things to me. And I never wash them in a machine, but by hand in the sink, using bleach and lemon joy, then always air dry them on a laundry line I stretched out in the spare bedroom. Same with pillow cases, AND pillows ever so often. All of it due to allergies if not done this way. So any died sheets are a no no for me, and certainly not with using bleach. I have two sets of 500 thread count that i alternate this way.

    I don’t think Charlie gives a shit either way, long as the puppy chow is in the bowl.

  16. 16.

    MattR

    May 31, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    @General Stuck: Does it even need to be in the bowl?

  17. 17.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 31, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    @General Stuck: I thought they caught the unabomber.

  18. 18.

    vegjean

    May 31, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    @MattR: Try canned pumpkin for the pup’s digestive issues.

  19. 19.

    lamh34

    May 31, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Today is a very special day in the lamh household I made my very first pot of gumbo all by myself!!! And I must say I put my foot in this gumbo. It is off the chain!
    Umm umm!

    funny thing is is a very hot day and if you cook gumbo on such a hot day, then you will be asked why did you make gumbo on one of the hottest days in the summer? My answer is easy, i haven’t had good gumbo since last Thanksgiving, so i’ve been feenin’ for some gumbo, so I just hiked up the AC and got to cookin’.

    It was so worth it!

  20. 20.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    @General Stuck: Look at this sheet of “pebbles” I’m holding up. Can you see any numbers? If so, what are they?

  21. 21.

    General Stuck

    May 31, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    They did, turned out he was just some fuckhead.

  22. 22.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    @South of I-10: Our mutt prefers dirty sheets that smell like us. However, I’m a clean-sheet freak, so too bad for her.

  23. 23.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    @lamh34: I congratulate you! I am a fairly accomplished cook, but for some reason all my roux are epic failures. And gumbo on a hot day reminds me of great summer times in NOLA.

  24. 24.

    Daddy-O

    May 31, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    At my house, I’m the boss of the animals and pets. Not the other way around…

    These pet ‘problems’ just make you that much more human/likable/lovable, John Cole. A large part of your online success, fer sher!

  25. 25.

    Tim F.

    May 31, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    @MattR: Canned pumpkin is great. NOT pumpkin pie filling, just pumpkin.

    Max treats stale bread heels like a crunchy dog treat, and that seems to firm up his stool some. Rice in his food works as well. Good luck.

  26. 26.

    Shoemaker-Levy 9

    May 31, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    Apparently a large-breasted Colombian or willowy blonde Russian/Ukrainian bride is mine for the importing. That’s if I’m not satisfied with my Persian or Chinese brides, I guess. How come mail-order brides are the most frequent ads I get on this blog? Is it because America creates so many of them with its serial invasions and kinetic actions?

  27. 27.

    General Stuck

    May 31, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    @shortstop:

    What? did fuckhead send out the bat signal for all his minion idjits to muster on this thread? you all are like a swarm of stupid, when loose.

  28. 28.

    MikeJ

    May 31, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    @lamh34: Anybody who thinks May 31st is going to be “one of the hottest days in the summer” needs their head examined.

    Smart to make it now. The heat hasn’t even begun yet.

  29. 29.

    lamh34

    May 31, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    @MikeJ: actually, we’ve aleady had a couple of high 90 and 100 days in DFW. DFW seems to have this dry heat that just makes it feel hotter.

    NOLA has a film of humidity hat makes the heat more draining to me. You can be in the heat in NOLA for a full day, but don’t realize how drained or dehydrated you are until u get ready for bed.

  30. 30.

    MattR

    May 31, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    @vegjean: @Tim F.: Thanks for the suggestions. You may be shocked to find out that I don’t have canned pumpkin on hand. I’ll go pick some up tomorrow and try some rice tonight in the meantime.

  31. 31.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    @General Stuck: Dude, what’s wrong with you? 1) There was nothing mean-spirited intended; I was teasing you about your color choices, having no idea that you would be offended since you’d just gigged yourself on the same topic. 2) I’m no one’s fucking minion here and I’ve never had a beef with you. If you need to assign me to some narrow category for the sole reason that JSF and I happen to have sparred with a couple of the same people, you’re way out of bounds. It’s hardly news that dozens, nay, scores more have sparred with those same folks.

  32. 32.

    MTmofo

    May 31, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    Trump and Palin have dinner all right, in a pizza joint.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/31/980974/-UPDATE:-T-Rump-and-Bible-Barbie-at-Dinner-I-SWEAR-%28this-time%29!-?detail=hide

  33. 33.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9: Do they ever say the women are small-breasted? I’m just askin’.

  34. 34.

    South of I-10

    May 31, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    @General Stuck: I am not hand washing anything that can be thrown in the washer.

    @lamh34: Good for you! I am embarrassed to admit that Mr. South’s gumbo is so much better than mine, I quit trying.

    @shortstop: My cats definitely prefer clean sheets, my dog doesn’t care. I think the cats should wash them every once in a while.

  35. 35.

    General Stuck

    May 31, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    @General Stuck:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Well, aren’t you going to reply something incredibly lame and unfunny, to get this show on the road. fuckhead /

    The fans out there ain’t got all night.

  36. 36.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    May 31, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    So the former King Tunch of Futon is now Emperor Tunch of Bedroom? Nice.

  37. 37.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    @South of I-10: Especially since they’re getting more hair on them than you are. Only fair.

  38. 38.

    Morbo

    May 31, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    Just Words.

  39. 39.

    General Stuck

    May 31, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    @shortstop:

    You saddle up with fuckhead, you are no friend of mine, and probly ought to just ignore me. Your choice, no “giggles”

  40. 40.

    Violet

    May 31, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9:
    The ads are mostly based on other sites you visit. You must be visiting some interesting websites.

  41. 41.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 31, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    Robin has decided the coolest place to sleep is on my son’s bed. Last night, and tonight.

  42. 42.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    @General Stuck: Ohhh….we’re choosing teams. I’m either with General Stuck or I’m against him. You take this place and all your interactions in it super-super seriously and everybody else better prove their similar seriousness…and their loyalty to you.

    Seriously, guy? Did you really type that with a straight face? And you in your…actually, I have no idea how old you are, but you’re indisputably decades too old for this.

    Somebody’s made a choice here, but it ain’t I — I ain’t playin’. Carry on, fella.

    @Morbo: ZOMG and he waited until the last day of the month before the month…clearly he intended that as a subtle slap in the face to every GLBT person in America, don’t you think?

  43. 43.

    Shoemaker-Levy 9

    May 31, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    @Violet:

    The ads are mostly based on other sites you visit.

    I’ve had this conversation before. No, they’re not. I’m getting ads that are not related in even the remotest way to any website I’ve ever visited. So I’m still waiting for a logical explanation.

  44. 44.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    As long as we’re talking about Cole’s bed, and when aren’t we, when you think about it, am I remembering correctly that JC purchased a featherbed topper a few months back? I need a report on this from someone (JC or someone else) who’s used one…the third baseman needs a super, super-hard mattress and I’m down with that but wouldn’t mind a little bit of cush on top. Do you have to buy extra-deep sheets to accommodate those things, or can you get by with the standard ones?

  45. 45.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9: patriotUSA visited them on your computer? JUST teasing.

  46. 46.

    General Stuck

    May 31, 2011 at 10:35 pm

    @shortstop:

    You some kind of clown? or just stoned out of yer gourd.

  47. 47.

    Shoemaker-Levy 9

    May 31, 2011 at 10:35 pm

    @shortstop:

    They don’t “say” anything. The one for Colombian brides featured several photos of young ladies, most displaying ample quantities of cleavage. The ones for Russian and Ukrainian brides focused on head shots of blondes.

    I’m just wondering, why these ads? Even assuming I’ve visited dating sites (which I haven’t, as explained in other comments), why indulge this alleged interest in lovely ladies from foreign lands? What if I once visited a midget porn site, would I get ads for that? Just seems weird on a lib/progressive blog to get ads for a service that treats women like a commodity.

  48. 48.

    JCT

    May 31, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    Princess Lily in her bed! Sweetness.

  49. 49.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    @General Stuck: That was such a short shunning! I really thought you’d have more stick-to-itness. Are you referring to my gentle disbelief at your apparently non-joking demand for a loyalty oath or my sarcasm directed at people calling Obama “just like Bush” on equal rights?

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9: Sometimes it’s hard to trace the thread. Could be something as simple as you having mentioned Ukrainian something somewhere recently. I once discussed a recurring nightmare in which my teeth were dissolving (I’m told it’s common, but I fortunately had escaped it up until then) and got dental implant ads for weeks.

  50. 50.

    Anne Laurie

    May 31, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9:

    I’m getting ads that are not related in even the remotest way to any website I’ve ever visited. So I’m still waiting for a logical explanation.

    Maybe your neighbor is ‘stealing’ your WiFi?(Local tv news had a report on a family that spent TWO YEARS fighting the FBI to get their machines returned because a neighbor was using their wireless to download kiddyporn.)

    More likely, the ad-bots who assign space here have a very ‘urban dictionary’ idea of what BJ stands for.

  51. 51.

    Suffern ACE

    May 31, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9: I liked it when I was getting ads for the 60 year old doctor who looked liked Charles Atlas. He pops up now whenever we discus social security related issues. I guess he’s uncovered the fountain of youth.

    Also, I need to write “Teen Wolf” “Teen Wolf”. I’d rather look at that Tyler Posey cutie on the sidebar of these threads than some author or politician who I will never support any day of the week.

  52. 52.

    Roger Moore

    May 31, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    @shortstop:

    Do they ever say the women are small-breasted?

    No, they call them petite, or slim, or willowy, or some other polite way of saying they have no curves.

  53. 53.

    PeakVT

    May 31, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    If you don’t like ads following you around, install an add-on that makes it easy to zap your cookies. I use a simple one, but there are others that can protect certain cookies so you don’t have to log in to your favorite sites all of the time.

  54. 54.

    burnspbesq

    May 31, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    “Who doesn’t like clean sheets?”

    Forwards.

  55. 55.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    @Anne Laurie: How are they going to support those Russian wives in style if they can’t even spring for their own WiFi?!

    Grotesque story, BTW. Never fail to secure a network.

  56. 56.

    WaterGirl

    May 31, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    @stuckinred: I should probably know, but I don’t, and google wasn’t much help. What is a MOH?

    Edit: welcome back from your trip. You may have been back for a bit, but I was gone for a few days and this is the first time I have seen you.

  57. 57.

    General Stuck

    May 31, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    @shortstop:

    You stupid ass, I didn’t say anything about loyalty, and could give a shit less what your smart aleck ass does.

    I said it might be best if you didn’t respond to my comments if you were going to say stupid shit like

    Are you referring to my gentle disbelief at your apparently non-joking demand for a loyalty oath or my sarcasm directed at people calling Obama “just like Bush” on equal rights?

    You are the one that went stupid, from my joking comment about fuckheads “bat signal” etc…./ and then lecture me on taking things serious here. You seem like you are either stoned, drunk, or just naturally idiotic. And Not only do I not seek your loyalty, I wish you would just shut the fuck up and ignore me completely, like I plan with you.

    I don’t form cliques on this blog, fuckhead does, and recent evidence is that you have joined his. For all the ballyhoo about Allan being the one dividing this blog along cliquish lines, it is fuckhead and his cronies who are doing that. Not Allan, or anyone else. How about you just go away and leave me alone, unless you want me to respond the way I want to. That is how it works here. We can’t all get along, that would be unnatural as all hell.

  58. 58.

    Roger Moore

    May 31, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9:
    I’m sure it has something to do with Cole. Their blog analyzer knows he’s fortyish, single, and devoted to his pets. They figure his only chance of marriage is mail order, and his readers must be the same.

  59. 59.

    freelancer (itouch)

    May 31, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    MOH = Medal of Honor

  60. 60.

    Violet

    May 31, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9:

    I’ve had this conversation before. No, they’re not. I’m getting ads that are not related in even the remotest way to any website I’ve ever visited. So I’m still waiting for a logical explanation.

    It’s not necessarily where you’ve visited. I was just teasing. It’s also related to what’s on the thread. For instance, at the top of this page right now I’m seeing an ad for something pet related. Probably because this is a pet thread and has the “dog blogging” tag in addition to people discussing their pets. I don’t visit pet sites, so it’s not me.

    A couple of weeks ago I looked into chartering an aircraft to get a group of people to a remote location, including one person who has trouble with mobility. I’m still getting aircraft charter ads all over the place, not just here.

    I spent some time today looking at gardening websites and I’ve been getting a bunch of gardening ads ever since.

    @shortstop:

    Sometimes it’s hard to trace the thread. Could be something as simple as you having mentioned Ukrainian something somewhere recently. I once discussed a recurring nightmare in which my teeth were dissolving (I’m told it’s common, but I fortunately had escaped it up until then) and got dental implant ads for weeks.

    Yeah, I think it’s hard to know exactly what sets up certain ads. Right now I’ve got an ad for “home products,” probably because people are discussing sheets.

  61. 61.

    Violet

    May 31, 2011 at 11:14 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    I should probably know, but I don’t, and google wasn’t much help. What is a MOH?

    Wondered the same thing, but then thought it might be Medal of Honor. From stuck’s description of the person I thought that might fit.

  62. 62.

    IlsaLund

    May 31, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    Little Lily is so garsh-darn cute. I get why you do whatever she wants. She’s absolutely perfect.

  63. 63.

    IlsaLund

    May 31, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    Little Lily is so garsh-darn cute. I get why you do whatever she wants. She’s absolutely perfect.

  64. 64.

    Tim, Interrupted

    May 31, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I thought they caught the unabomber.

    LOL

  65. 65.

    El Cid

    May 31, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    This is awesome: kids hack the FOXNOOZ ‘news’ ticker in New York.

  66. 66.

    Keith G

    May 31, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    @shortstop: L.M.A.O.

  67. 67.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    @General Stuck:

    Breathe, guy. I really don’t get where this level of anger is coming from. Do you do this with others who casually engage you, or is this all for me?

    I don’t form cliques on this blog, fuckhead does, and recent evidence is that you have joined his.

    “Recent evidence” being the multiple times in the last week that I’ve steadfastly informed JSF and eemom that I don’t want to be in his Survivor alliance? Or would that be the many times I’ve directly called him an asshole (who nevertheless can at times be hilarious–a confluence of two traits that can only be noticed by people who don’t have a heavy emotional involvement in the conversational proceedings here)? You need to understand that I have no idea what actual history you have with JSF except that you two don’t get along. I’m absent from this blog for weeks at a time, I don’t read most threads here, and the ones I do read I tend to skim. So I lack the full dramatic archiving of individual relationships and grievances and affiliations, which is pretty much how I think most people approach their blog-reading.

    As an example (I’m pretty sure that this is going to make you even madder, but in for a pound): I’ve been sporadically hanging out here for more than a year, and until a month or two ago I kept confusing you with Corner Stone. All I knew was that you two were always fighting like kiddies, and since I always skipped over your spats, I couldn’t remember which of you held which position. It just wasn’t important to me. I understand that it is to you, but it would be cool if you could acknowledge that most people who comment here don’t do so with the deep level of personal involvement that you apparently do.

    For all the ballyhoo about Allan being the one dividing this blog along cliquish lines

    I’venever participated in that ballyhoo; I think Allan is an ass, but on his own, er, merits. I have no idea who he’s pals with other than eemom, and that only because of something she said to Cole and her giving me the same “you’re with us or you’re against us” crap you’re pulling here tonight. I’ve never seen anyone else ballyhoo it either — which doesn’t mean that no one is, just that I’m unaware and honestly don’t give a shit. My first and only engagement with Allan, which, if I’m not mistaken, was also the first time JSF and I conversed, consisted of me mocking Allan for his usual insufferability and Allan responding dramatically with an accusation that all the totally unrelated people in the thread who were telling him he was an asshole were “circling the wagons.” You can’t imagine how melodramatic and paranoid that sounded to someone who pops in and out of here without learning all the individual posters’ quirks — and who is gobsmacked to discover that there are people who really do obsess about these things.

    How about you just go away and leave me alone, unless you want me to respond the way I want to. That is how it works here.

    Meh. GS, I made a mild joke without having any idea that you nursed some sort of gigantic grudge against me. You burst into over-the-top aggression and accusations of “minionhood,” as you’re still doing, which you are of course entitled to do. I’m entitled to express disbelief at your overblown reaction. I have no particular need to have a commenting relationship with you going forward, but you blew this up tonight, and to piteously howl “leave me alone” as though you’ve been some sort of victim at my hands is just ludicrous. Calm down and stop boxing shadows.

  68. 68.

    Tim, Interrupted

    May 31, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Lily looks very cute on Cole’s bed, but what I find disturbing is the come-hither look she appears to be giving the photographer…yikes.

  69. 69.

    Violet

    May 31, 2011 at 11:42 pm

    @General Stuck:
    @shortstop:
    Wow, that’s a whole lot of Balloon-Juice comment drama. Maybe y’all should just go ahead and get a room.

  70. 70.

    Keith G

    May 31, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    @shortstop: Now that was one hell of a pound.

  71. 71.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    @Keith G: Thanks, buddy, but which stupid remark made you laugh?

    @Violet: You’re right, and I shouldn’t have let myself get drawn into that and, worse, escalate it. I knew better.

  72. 72.

    Tim, Interrupted

    May 31, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    @shortstop:

    Shortstop, your attempts to reason with GS are entertaining. But you should know that he not only does not wash his sheets by hand in the sink with carefully selected cleaning products, he does not wash his sheets at all. Ever. Because he has no sheets. Because he never sleeps in his bed.

    Stuck has not, in fact, been off his couch for many, many months, for ANY reason. His pasty, gelatinous skin is now intergrown and fused with the fibers of the 70’s avacado patterned upholstery, and before long a fire department will be by to tear out a wall, crane lift his odoriferous carcass and his tiny ego and the couch out of the house and off to the tender mercies of a state of the art emergency medical care facility for the couch bound psychotic.

    Apparently, there is a laptop somehow enmeshed in this pustulent, slimy mess; I just hope they are able to extract it without electrocuting anyone of value.

    And that, as they say, will be that.

  73. 73.

    Roger Moore

    May 31, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    @shortstop:
    Shorter Shortstop (should that be Shorterstop? Second baseman?):
    Get over yourself.

    About fucking time somebody said it. The whole JSF/Stuck/CS/eemom name calling brigade is fucking old. Get the fuck over yourselves and stop filling the blog with irrelevant personal bullshit. Oh, and FTMFYWAVRPF, just for good measure.

  74. 74.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    @Tim, Interrupted: Oh, fuck off.

    And I never did find out about the depth of the sheets with featherbed toppers. Cole is never around when he’s needed.

  75. 75.

    El Cid

    May 31, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    @shortstop: I warn you: you are treading perilously close to no longer being on my side. You will have no other warnings. Unless I feel like it.

    There can be no blurring of alliances when it comes to a strategic national resource such as a blog named “Balloon Juice”.

  76. 76.

    MattR

    May 31, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    FTMFYWAVRPF

    Agreed. But how sad is it that I was able to translate that without thinking?

  77. 77.

    El Cid

    May 31, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    @Violet: Go ahead, make your funny — but you won’t be making all your snide comments when you realize the severity of repercussions you will face from making the wrong sorts of comments here.

    Keep your friends close, but keep your friends aware that they are just one hair’s breadth away from being enemies, and then you can keep them even closer.

  78. 78.

    Strandedvandal

    May 31, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    OMG This Tella Novella sucks!

  79. 79.

    shortstop

    May 31, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    @MattR: I only got through “…with a.” I already feel certain I will agree on the choice of weapon, however.

  80. 80.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 12:01 am

    @Strandedvandal: (Soothingly) It’s okay. We’ve gone to commercial now.

  81. 81.

    Tim, Interrupted

    June 1, 2011 at 12:01 am

    @shortstop:

    Oh, fuck off.

    No. YOU fuck off!

  82. 82.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 12:02 am

    So the Donald did have his sit down with Caribou Barbie in Times Square at Famiglia. As far as pizza goes, Famiglia is a rather overpriced by the slice place that one goes to when one is in a hurry. The Pizza is just so-so, since it has been sitting and is reheated. Not much chance of personalizing it. Since a better place like John’s was nearby, could it be that Donald didn’t want to spend a lot of time with her and didn’t want to show her the best that the city could offer?

    /Just honing my political analysis skills in case Maureen Dowd’s slot ever comes open and I’m asked to join the Times.

  83. 83.

    Anya

    June 1, 2011 at 12:03 am

    Batshit insane Allen West on DADT:

    Speaking out against the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” West also said that the “rules are very clear in the United States military” and implied that sexuality was a choice.
    _____
    “For those that will sit there and say, ‘well, Congressman West, you should understand because after all, you are black,’ — unless I’m Michael Jackson, I can’t change my color,” West said. “But people can change behavior, and you do not base being a part of the military on adjusting for individual behavior. That’s my position.”
    __
    “Now is not the time to try to appease a very small special interest group,” West said.

    If that asswipe is re-elected in 2012, I am moving back to Canada. Oh wait, Stephen Harper ….. never mind.

    Edit: blockquote FAIL!

  84. 84.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:03 am

    @El Cid:
    Oh, El Cid, you big flirt. You know you want to get a room too.

  85. 85.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 12:03 am

    @shortstop:
    I used a featherbed topper for a few years until the fabric wore through (despite using a cover and a sheet between me and the featherbed) and started leaking feathers everywhere. It adds a couple of inches to the thickness of the whole shebang, so you may need deeper sheets if your existing ones are tight on the current setup. If you don’t like the risk of leaking feathers, you might want to consider one of the memory foam mattress toppers; I think they’re more comfortable than a featherbed.

  86. 86.

    2liberal

    June 1, 2011 at 12:04 am

    I yield to none in yankee hating. But what does FTMFYWAVRPF mean?

    Fuck The Mother Fucking Yankees With A Very R???? P???? F????

    help me out here.

  87. 87.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    June 1, 2011 at 12:05 am

    @Tim, Interrupted:

    living the dream, or are you saying this like its a bad thing?

  88. 88.

    Strandedvandal

    June 1, 2011 at 12:06 am

    It is fascinating (to me at least) how tribalism can crop up almost anywhere.

  89. 89.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 12:07 am

    @2liberal: Very Rusty Pitchfork.

  90. 90.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:07 am

    @Suffern ACE:
    It’s not about the pizza. It’s about which place has the bigger windows so that they can be photographed while dining together. You’re talking about two of the biggest narcissists on the planet. You think they’re going to have their Pizza Summit where they can’t be seen?

  91. 91.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 12:08 am

    @Roger Moore: Thank you, Roger! That is very helpful information.

  92. 92.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 12:09 am

    @2liberal: Very Rusty Pitch Fork (I think that is really only one word, but I knew what he meant)

    Oops. Too slow.

  93. 93.

    Comrade Kevin

    June 1, 2011 at 12:10 am

    Lily is like my cat. If I do some laundry, and start folding up clothes, he is on one of the piles immediately.

  94. 94.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 12:11 am

    Well, that’s just silly. Everyone knows there are no pitchforks in the Bronx except in the farm animal section of the zoo. I suggest a jackhammer.

  95. 95.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:11 am

    @Roger Moore:
    Had the same experience with the featherbed topper. Most fitted sheets these days seem to be extra tall/deep (whatever you call it) so they cover extra big mattresses, even with toppers of various types. I ended up not liking the featherbed topper and only just found it again after a move. I’ve still got it sitting around because I’m not sure what to do with it. Maybe put it on the guest bed, but I think probably give it away or sell it at a garage sale.

  96. 96.

    General Stuck

    June 1, 2011 at 12:12 am

    @shortstop: @shortstop:

    LOL, what a fatuous comment. I hold no anger over some dumbass on the internet called short stop. You have turned this into some kind of grand drama, because I associated you with fuckhead, and the bullshit you all have doing in other threads toward designated enemies of “the clique”

    I simply don’t like you, and what you’ve said on this thread, makes me think that is a wise position to take. Why would you think I have some giant grudge against you? I do have a grudge against fuckhead, and he against me. That is long before you showed up. Let me say this as clearly and slowoly as possible. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. YOU ARE ANOTHER FATUOUS MORON, LIKE ALL THE REST, AND LIKELY MOI INCLUDED.

    No explain for the folks out there exactly what I said to you that made you go all freaky. That you were and “idjit”, or “minion”/ Cause that is all I said to you, which gets said many times a day here without you going all drama queen, and keep on commenting bullshit to keep it going.

  97. 97.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 12:12 am

    @Comrade Kevin: Is that better or worse than this?

  98. 98.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 12:15 am

    Night shift checking in, if only to say that I can’t believe there is a convenient open thread actually open and active. That hasn’t happened to me in a while. Cool!

    Carry on.

  99. 99.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    June 1, 2011 at 12:16 am

    @Violet:

    there should be a prop bet on who eats the most.

    trump doesn’t want to get prole food on him,but he wants to play real new yorker card.

    palin wants to eat like a real merkin, but she doesn’t want to fit in too well in new york.

  100. 100.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 12:16 am

    @shortstop:
    Who cares what they have in the Bronx? The people in the Bronx don’t want to fuck the Yankees with anything, except maybe some gay ones who would like to fuck them the old fashioned way. It’s the people in the road cities (like Minneapolis, where the originator of the saying about fucking people with a rusty pitchfork comes from) who want to poke them with unpleasant things.

  101. 101.

    General Stuck

    June 1, 2011 at 12:20 am

    @Roger Moore:

    What? you think magically blogs just work perfectly ever after without efforts to deal with the problems that are certain in an open forum like this. So happy asses like you can just set on cruise control and it’s folks like me and eemom that are the problem. So you can stay above it and cast aspersions at those of us who confront it. Grow up, it doesn’t work that way anywhere and certainly not in the captive confines of a wide open comment policy blog. I’m sick of dealing with the assholes, and then accused of being just like them. Take it away yoda, and get back to me on how stuff is running smooth here at BJ.

  102. 102.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 12:20 am

    @Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal:
    The most likely outcome is that they both buy slices of pizza as props, but don’t actually eat them because having their mouths full would prevent them from talking all the time.

  103. 103.

    srv

    June 1, 2011 at 12:20 am

    If Tony Hillerman hadn’t died, and had written a mystery about a series of violent deaths of some blog’s southwestern trolls, what would he have named it?

  104. 104.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 12:21 am

    @Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal: Could have gone to Schnipper’s. Big windows. Serves sloppy joes and mac and cheese, which is more american than that italian fare. In the New York Times building itself, so there could be plenty of photographers and it would meet with serious trivialpundit approval. Risk of sloppy joe juice on necktie and blouse, but that would only endear her to us, cause who hasn’t had to whip out the stain guard when eating sloppy joes.

  105. 105.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 12:21 am

    @Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal: I just want to know if he’s required to wear a hairnet in restaurants. People at nearby tables cannot enjoy getting wayward strands of Mr. Co Mowver in their dinners.

    @Roger Moore: I can’t argue with that, but what if I want to fuck them on their home ground on one of my frequent trips to NYC? I might have to go all the way to Ossining for a pitchfork. Perhaps we could compromise with a pitchfork for all road games and various urban construction tools at home.

  106. 106.

    piratedan

    June 1, 2011 at 12:24 am

    in other news, it appears that there have been enough signatures to recall the AZ Senate Majority Leader, Russell Pearce, the “legislative brains” behind SB 1070. Supposedly the recall petitions have more signatures than actual votes cast for Mr. Pearce in the last election, even in the deep wingnuttia of Metro Phoenix.

    http://www.blogforarizona.com/blog/2011/05/celebrate-recall-russell-pearce-day.html

  107. 107.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:24 am

    @Roger Moore:
    But they have to eat at least some of the slice, otherwise the paparazzi media loser who gets assigned the Palin beat will point out that they didn’t.

  108. 108.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 12:24 am

    @General Stuck:
    Guess what, asshole: you’re part of the problem, not the solution. You don’t clean up the blog by getting into shouting matches that drown out the substantive content, especially when the people you’re arguing with are here for the shouting match, not the conversation. All I know is that the SNR drops a lot when both you and your enemies are on the same thread. That makes your attempt to clean up the blog about as likely to succeed as the Ryan plan is to fix Medicare.

  109. 109.

    General Stuck

    June 1, 2011 at 12:25 am

    @El Cid:

    LOL, I been ignoring your ass for a long time. Hardly rises to the level of a “repercussion”.

  110. 110.

    piratedan

    June 1, 2011 at 12:25 am

    @srv: Skincrawlers, natch

  111. 111.

    Tim, Interrupted

    June 1, 2011 at 12:27 am

    Does anyone else think Stuck’s meds aren’t balanced quite correctly this evening?

    There’s something even more OFF than usual going on in his…typings.

  112. 112.

    El Cid

    June 1, 2011 at 12:27 am

    It’s because our boys are out there putting their asses on the line of trollwar that you people can rest safe and easy back here blogging in peace. Sometimes you ought to think about those who give up so much to keep you free.

  113. 113.

    WaterGirl

    June 1, 2011 at 12:28 am

    @shortstop: I got a down filled mattress cover a few years ago. It’s very comfy and cozy but I had to stop using it because it made the bed too warm. If you are someone like my sister, who is always cold, this might be a great solution for you.

    The one I bought, probably from The Company Store, had an elastic piece in each corner that you tuck under the corner of the mattress to keep the cover in place. I was able to use it with the sheets I already had.

  114. 114.

    slag

    June 1, 2011 at 12:28 am

    @Shoemaker-Levy 9:

    Apparently a large-breasted Colombian or willowy blonde Russian/Ukrainian bride is mine for the importing.

    This is what you get for clicking on DougJ’s Sarah Palin posts.

  115. 115.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 12:30 am

    @Violet:

    But they have to eat at least some of the slice, otherwise the paparazzi media loser who gets assigned the Palin beat will point out that they didn’t.

    The fact that we know that it is true, and that Gail Collins would then use four paragraphs of her next column on the Medicare debate on that issue, is reason number 3 why we can’t have nice things.

  116. 116.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 12:31 am

    @WaterGirl: Well, I am always cold because of my low percentage of body fat. That’s all true except for the “low percentage” part. Thanks for the tip! From what folks are saying, I think we might look into the memory foam.

  117. 117.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 12:32 am

    @srv: The story would be short. It would end on the 12th page with Leaphorn telling Chee not to investigate this one.

  118. 118.

    General Stuck

    June 1, 2011 at 12:32 am

    @Roger Moore:

    You really don’t have a clue what you are talking about. But I grant you, I have collected a fair share of enemies that pop out of the woodwork on the few threads I comment on these days.

    Who starts the shit then. Me or them? If I leave, do you really think they will too. You’re a bigger idiot than I gave you credit for. And I am not built to take shit and not send it back. If you see no functional difference of how this shit works, then you even a bigger bigger idiot.

    And how long have you been commenting here? Don’t be a dufus pollyanna dude. You seem smarter than that.

  119. 119.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 12:32 am

    @General Stuck:

    I’m sick of dealing with the assholes, and then accused of being just like them.

    At this point, you’re acting like a bigger asshole. It’s pretty sad that you are unable to convince yourself to be the better person when dealing with random, anonymous people on the Internet.

  120. 120.

    El Cid

    June 1, 2011 at 12:35 am

    @General Stuck: You inhabit an interesting world. You have a very special ability, a powerful gift, to project a spiritual manifestation into a world of blog comments that those of us limited to reading and typing comments miss out on. The rest of us just see the words, and do our best to type them.

    For you, the words surround you, lift you, you swim through them, fly, as though blog comments are both the air around you and the steps beneath your feet.

    It’s just beyond our comprehension to perceive how we must appear to you, moving and typing as though stuck in tar, barely pressing a single key before you have felt trouble, a certain discord in the harmonies, and extended a part of your blogpresence spirit to dispatch the interloper, a hapless enemy who knows not what is coming for him.

  121. 121.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:35 am

    @shortstop:
    If you are always cold, get your thyroid checked. And insist on seeing the bloodwork results yourself (you’re allowed to see them because of HIPAA) and checking them online. Many labs have outdated reference ranges for TSH bloodwork and a lot of GPs don’t take thyroid seriously.

    As for memory foam, it’s very warm, especially in a humid climate. It has to breathe and in humidity it can’t, or something. From experience, I know they are very warm.

  122. 122.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 12:35 am

    @General Stuck, @shortstop:

    Gentlemen, to your corners! I think you’re both overreacting.

    Stuck, Shortstop’s comment at 20 was a funny, good-natured poke at your “purple/navy blue” ambivalence. Your flame back was off target and overkill.

    And, Shortstop, you must know that Stuck is a little paranoid (with some justification) about flak from JSF, or anything seeming to come from that direction, so you could cut him a little slack.

    Can’t we all just live together? (In the interest of blog comity, I didn’t link to the cheesy/cool Timmy Thomas mix with go-go dancers. I’m sensitive that way.)

  123. 123.

    piratedan

    June 1, 2011 at 12:36 am

    geez, if you folks want to sharpen your wits and argue so badly, can’t you find a local Republican representative or town hall to disrupt? Why pick fights with people here when most of us agree that the REAL asshats are the ones attempting to scuttle medicare, social security and are busy trying to find ways to ensure that Jeebus guides us in all our future decisions because they know what’s right for us. Cripes, make some of THOSE people squirm under your rapier wits and keen insights versus splitting hypothetical hairs here regarding philosophical nuances.

  124. 124.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 12:38 am

    @piratedan: Good. I hope those signers show up at the polls. SB 1070 aside (not that it should be ignored, but pretending that it was never passed), it seems that the people of AZ would be better served by someone else in there. The more I get to read about the workings of that state, the more it seems that its legislature is crazy and mean as a way of covering for its total corruption.

  125. 125.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:39 am

    @Suffern ACE:
    Very sad but true. I wish the media would just stop paying attention to both Palin and Trump. At lest Trump, when he’s not getting enough attention, goes out and does something stupid that’s halfway entertaining. I have some hope that Palin would do the same thing. The only way to find out is to turn off the spotlight and make ’em work for the attention.

  126. 126.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 12:40 am

    @Violet: Thanks much — my thyroid does check out; I think it’s living in a town with a nine-month winter that gets me so shivery. I’m fine in the summer.

    Interesting about the humidity factor with memory foam — so perhaps use it only in the winter, when the air is usually dry here.

  127. 127.

    General Stuck

    June 1, 2011 at 12:40 am

    @El Cid:

    lOL

    You inhabit an interesting world. You have a very special ability, a powerful gift, to project a spiritual manifestation into a world of blog comments that those of us limited to reading and typing comments miss out on. The rest of us just see the words, and do our best to type them.

    You drop the good acid tonight El Cid. We used to talk like that back in the day whilst blowing bubbles and marveling at all the pretty colors. You’re all right. Wrong a lot. But alright.

  128. 128.

    srv

    June 1, 2011 at 12:41 am

    @El Cid: And some people thought you had to get fragged by a skull-fucked featherbed topper jacakalope to experience POST traumatic stress disorder.

  129. 129.

    Comrade Kevin

    June 1, 2011 at 12:42 am

    @MattR: That cat looks like a short-haired version of mine.

  130. 130.

    piratedan

    June 1, 2011 at 12:42 am

    @Suffern ACE: aye, they kicked the poor just about every way possible during this last legislative session but found a way to pass legislation that creates a Tea Party license plate and a state handgun. Hence why the Baja Az movement started, to bring to light the incredible side show of idiocy that the state house has become.

  131. 131.

    El Cid

    June 1, 2011 at 12:42 am

    @piratedan: Have you ever tried to make a Republican asshat squirm under your rapier wits and keen insights?

    I think they do squirm, though, if they think you have a bead on where they manifested their particular sexual perversion which would not at all be permitted by their public moralizing.

  132. 132.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:43 am

    @shortstop:
    Thyroid can change. Always worth getting it checked again if you feel any changes in your health or see anything like extra dry skin, brittle nails, hair loss, unexplained aches and pains, etc.

    Sounds like if your winter is nine months long, you’ll be able to use memory foam most of the year.

  133. 133.

    trollhattan

    June 1, 2011 at 12:43 am

    What’s up with this House debt ceiling vote? Is there a Dem strategy I’m not following or are they being chickenshit in advance of the ’12 election? Gaaaa.

    On Tuesday, as the House voted 318 to 97 against raising the limit, nearly half of the chamber’s Democrats sided with the Republicans. In doing so, they ignored a long-standing request from the Obama administration to boost the limit before plunging into a complex and politically difficult battle over the size of the federal budget.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/house-rejects-proposal-to-raise-debt-ceiling/2011/05/31/AGVISkFH_story.html

  134. 134.

    El Cid

    June 1, 2011 at 12:44 am

    @General Stuck: I appreciate that. Except the wrong part. I am never wrong. I am also the one true progressive.

  135. 135.

    General Stuck

    June 1, 2011 at 12:44 am

    @Steeplejack:

    The comment made no sense to me. You would have to know about several previous threads to understand what my response was. And it was a rebuke to the groups of assholes that have been swarming threads derailing them and targeting certain folks these people don’t like. I just had enough of it. But apparently it is pretty much the consensus I am part of it, or causing it. I don’t think that is true, but won’t deny it might be true. Only One way to find out.

  136. 136.

    piratedan

    June 1, 2011 at 12:45 am

    @El Cid: yeah Cid I have, its a daunting task, but I have to admit, it’s taken the election of our current president to bring the outrage to a boil. It helps when you’re a big old fat guy that no one wants to mess with and you have a cane. They absolutely hate it when you’re more informed than they are.

  137. 137.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 12:45 am

    @Suffern ACE: I’m really impressed at how effectively recalls are being used this year. It’s there for a reason. Hopefully the final outcome will be better than we had in Cali.

  138. 138.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:45 am

    @trollhattan:
    Something about the way it was worded put Dems in a bad spot about having to keep stupid tax cuts or something if they voted for it. Seems only safe-seat Dems voted for it. Apparently this isn’t a “real” vote. There’ll be one later. Or something.

  139. 139.

    MikeJ

    June 1, 2011 at 12:47 am

    @Violet:

    The only way to find out is to turn off the spotlight and make ‘em work for the attention.

    How many times do you think dear ol’ mom will just drop in for a little visit when Bristol’s reality show starts?

  140. 140.

    slag

    June 1, 2011 at 12:47 am

    OK. WTF? Have I been banned? I had no idea that recommending a wool topper was a ban-worthy offense. Live and learn, I guess.

    ETA Oh fer fuck’s sake. This is what I get for trying to be helpful. FYWP.

  141. 141.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:48 am

    @slag:
    How can you be banned when here you are?

  142. 142.

    General Stuck

    June 1, 2011 at 12:50 am

    I do have a mea culpa of sorts before I go. At about the same time this thread went sideways, an out of the blue exchange with Wildypirate in another thread turned me hyper cranky, so there is that.

  143. 143.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 12:50 am

    @Violet: Still chickenshit. The blue dogs almost all got elected out last year to the teatards. None of the Dems are going to lose on a vote that effectively means permanently shutting down the federal government. This isn’t an issue that will matter to enough independent or moderate voters to make a difference.

    It’s just chickenshit politics.

  144. 144.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 12:50 am

    @srv:

    The Wailing Wind? Oh, wait, he already used that title.

  145. 145.

    El Cid

    June 1, 2011 at 12:51 am

    @Violet: i do not want what i haven’t got

  146. 146.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:51 am

    @MikeJ:
    At least once if not more. I don’t think she’ll be a major character, but will be used for a “Sarah’s here!” ratings boost.

    I honestly can’t imagine anything more boring than watching Bristol Palin on TV. Her DWTS interviews were painfully dull. She’s got zero charisma. An entire reality show with her as a main character seems worse than watching paint dry. At least the paint does something. It dries. Who in the world is going to watch Bristol’s show? Her mom’s show’s ratings tanked. Bristol doesn’t really even have a following. Who will watch it?

  147. 147.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 12:52 am

    @slag: I’ve had times when my posts wouldn’t show up at all. It’d act like the post went through, but it wouldn’t appear at all, even in moderation. Not sure what causes that, other than FYWP.

  148. 148.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:54 am

    @Martin:
    I’ve had posts vanish into the ether as well. I absolutely can’t figure out what’s in them that makes that happen. It’s none of the usual suspects, like three links or the word for footwear or soshulist or whatever. They just up and vanish.

  149. 149.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 12:55 am

    @slag: Thank you! I appreciate it and what you were willing to go through to share it.

    @Violet:

    Who in the world is going to watch Bristol’s show? Her mom’s show’s ratings tanked. Bristol doesn’t really even have a following. Who will watch it?

    Perhaps they’re setting up Bristol to scoop up the horny starburst crowd (and their donations) when Sarah’s transition from very pretty woman to “Is that a poorly executing drag queen?” is complete. Yeah, I know; meow.

  150. 150.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 12:55 am

    @El Cid:

    Okay, that’s funny. Win.

  151. 151.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 12:57 am

    @slag: @Martin: @Violet: I think having a comment consist of only multiple links will cause problems. I also think any comment referencing any banned user (intentionally or unintentionally) disappears. I am sure there are a couple other WordPress quirks I don’t know.

  152. 152.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 12:57 am

    @shortstop:

    Will belatedly say that (a) you’re probably better off with a foam mattress topper and, (b) piggybacking on WaterGirl’s comment, the Company Store is teh awesome.

  153. 153.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 12:58 am

    @shortstop:
    Heh. Drag queen. She’s not far off in some photos/videos. Meow, indeed.

    But using Bristol to rake in the horny starbursters? No way. Bristol really doesn’t have any of Sarah’s charisma. There’s just no there there. Her inflection is flat and dull, she can’t think on her feet and she’s got dead eyes. And despite her recent chin implants and liposuction she’s not nearly as good looking as Sarah was at her age. They can try to use Bristol as a hook, but I don’t think too many will be biting.

  154. 154.

    slag

    June 1, 2011 at 12:59 am

    @Violet: Excellent point. As always, Violet.

    Apparently, either the recommending of wool toppers or the including of three links is enough to have your comments Raptured Up by WP. And no “your comment is in purgatory” nonsense, either. Just poof. Gone.

  155. 155.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:01 am

    @MattR:

    I am sure there are a couple other WordPress quirks I don’t know.

    Yes, there’s the one where I’m making a useful and extensively supported point instead of casting aspersions on the Yankees or aimlessly snarking Republican presidential contenders, and my comment disappears into the vortex. Forever.

  156. 156.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 1:02 am

    @Martin: None of the stories have clarified this for me so I don’t want to comment. I find the “The Language would have blamed Obama for the Debt so we can’t vote against it” excuse to be silly. They will try to hang this debt on Obama in the next cycle whether the law says so or not. Making the Bush Tax Cuts permanent or agreeing not to raise taxes would be a reason not to vote for it, though.

  157. 157.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 1:02 am

    @slag:
    I’ve had my comments Raptured when I’ve only included one link. Sometimes I think there’s something in the link that is banned, although I can’t figure out what it is specifically.

    Three links sends you to purgatory, right?

  158. 158.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:03 am

    @slag: Are you sure you didn’t recommend mixing wool with linen? Because that’s something Cole has never put up with.

  159. 159.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 1:04 am

    @General Stuck:

    Have now read the rest of the thread, and I have to say, Stuck, it’s not your night. You’re the one sounding kind of cranky and out of it.

    C’mon, go for a walk, swing Charlie around by the tail a time or two, breathe some outside air. You’ll feel better tomorrow.

    I like the way Shortstop occasionally refers to the third baseman in his posts. You gotta like that.

  160. 160.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 1:04 am

    @MattR:

    I also think any comment referencing any banned user (intentionally or unintentionally) disappears.

    On this note, I have thought it would be funny to create a couple sockpuppets whose handles are relatively common words and then make comments that gets them banned just to see what happens when every comment that uses the word “horse” or the phrase “raptured up” (to borrow from a recent comment) just disappears into the ether. (I am sure there are much better words to choose if I actually thought about it)

    @Violet: Three is OK (including any reply-to’s). Four sends you to purgatory.

    I have sometimes wondered if there was a banned word in the link itself (or maybe even in the metadata of the page the link goes to)

    (EDIT: Oh, and I think Bristol is just a bridge until one of the younger ones gets old enough for Sarah to exploit her)

  161. 161.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:04 am

    @Violet: Normally, I’d heartily agree about the lack of charisma being a negative factor, but these are old Republican horndogs we’re talking about, and they might think…oh, now I’ve grossed myself out too much.

  162. 162.

    slag

    June 1, 2011 at 1:07 am

    @MattR:

    I also think any comment referencing any banned user (intentionally or unintentionally) disappears.

    Interesting. I did not know this. One of my links was to Roger Moore, another to shortstop. Which would not likely be the problem, unless Gen Stuck were granted the ban-hammer. So, I will assume it was the dual reply combined with the external link that did the damage.

  163. 163.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 1:08 am

    @shortstop:
    Yeah, but if they weren’t going to watch Sarah herself run around Alaska, with its gorgeous scenery, they aren’t going to watch Bristol go to work at some non profit and share an apartment with two African American guys. I mean, really, the premise of the show is making me sleepy just typing it. How in the world are they going to turn that into something worth watching when Bristol is such a bore?

  164. 164.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 1:08 am

    @General Stuck:

    The comment made no sense to me.

    There is a common test for color blindness where they hold up a picture that looks like a bunch of pebbles. If you’re color-blind, that’s all you see. If you’re not, you see that some of the pebbles are colored differently and form a number.

    Let me know if I need to tell you what the number is.

    ETA: God, please don’t tell me this whole flame has been based on a simple misunderstanding.

  165. 165.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 1:08 am

    @shortstop: I didn’t realize the Cole followed the law so strictly. Unitarians sure are weird that way. Radical regarding the Trinity and the divinity of Christ, ultra-orthodox on the Pentatuch.

  166. 166.

    Anne Laurie

    June 1, 2011 at 1:09 am

    @Roger Moore:

    The people in the Bronx don’t want to fuck the Yankees with anything, except maybe some gay ones who would like to fuck them the old fashioned way.

    If my old man hadn’t been cremated, he’d be rising from his grave to choke your Kiwi arse for that slur. Native New Yorkers are Mets fans — it’s the move-ins & wanna-be’s from elsewhere who support the Yankees.

  167. 167.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 1:10 am

    @Steeplejack: I won’t tell you, but it has been…that and a lot of unresolved issues that pop up in any married relationship where communication breaks down.

  168. 168.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 1:15 am

    @Violet: You hire interesting black guys is what you do. One of the roomies should be neat and a hypochondriac photographer, while the other can be a sloppy sportscaster. Bristol can be Murray the cop. Don Knotts can be the landlord.

    Something like that.

  169. 169.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 1:16 am

    @Suffern ACE:

    Ah. Well, then. Too bad Dr. Phil is not a DFH who hangs out on this site. (That I know of. He may be a faithful lurker, like the writers from The Daily Show.)

  170. 170.

    slag

    June 1, 2011 at 1:16 am

    @Violet: You’re right. I’ve tried incorporating that one link every which way to Sunday, and Rapture ensued. Wiggy. It seems like a fairly banal link. Maybe shortstop is right, and it’s the mixing of fibers that is the true Rapturable offense here.

    ETA With all that experimentation, Cole probably will ban me if those missing links ended up somewhere besides heaven. Hopefully, they ended up in heaven.

  171. 171.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 1:16 am

    @MattR: One night it was a one sentence comment with no links. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t stick.

  172. 172.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:18 am

    @Suffern ACE: Well, you know Cole. Every day he picks something random to be contrary about. Something about “not labeling him, man.”

    @Violet: You got me. I withdraw my suggestion that anyone might watch the show, but that doesn’t mean she’s not a stand-in, or worse, sidekick for Sarah in the old goats’ masturbatory fantasies. I guess we’ll never know until Andrew Breitbart starts sending her underwear shots.

  173. 173.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 1:21 am

    @Anne Laurie: Indeed. Anyone in NY pre-Mets would have properly been a Dodgers or Giants fan. My moms parents were Giants fans, my dads parents were Dodgers fans. The latter moved to CA a few years after the Dodgers moved, and stuck with their team. The former put their lot in with the Mets.

    Among the Yankees other failings is that they’re an AL team, and well, the AL is just evil. No rightminded New Yorker would sign on with the AL.

  174. 174.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:24 am

    @Suffern ACE: @Steeplejack: All right, funny boys. I said I’ve learned my lesson…these situations are must-lose and I shall remember that.

  175. 175.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 1:24 am

    @Suffern ACE:
    Heh. The Don Knotts character can be the stand in for all the starbursters out there.

    The two guys are brothers and one of them was on DWTS with Bristol. Kyle Massey, former Disney star. He seemed like a nice kid. Can’t figure out why he’s doing this show. Apparently he doesn’t really know either:

    Ask the Masseys about it and…They don’t seem to know exactly what is going on either. “In our field, our profession, you can say a lot of things can happen that you never expected,” Kyle told me last night at Britney Spears’ Beverly Hills fundraiser for the St. Bernard Project. “We’re just sort of along for the ride right now.”

  176. 176.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:26 am

    @Martin: Last summer I found myself addressing a toddler in a Red Sox cap in Jackson, WY, the day after the all-star game: “Haaaa, haaaa, American League!” Stunned, the third baseman pulled me aside: “You just trash-talked a two-year-old in a stroller!” I was, of course, deeply ashamed. Fortunately, the kid’s parents thought it was funny.

  177. 177.

    Mnemosyne

    June 1, 2011 at 1:27 am

    @Violet:

    Who in the world is going to watch Bristol’s show?

    I suspect the show’s producers were naive enough to believe that all of the votes Bristol got on DWTS were individual and not that people were voting multiple times and stuffing the ballot box.

  178. 178.

    Anne Laurie

    June 1, 2011 at 1:27 am

    @shortstop:

    Perhaps they’re setting up Bristol to scoop up the horny starburst crowd (and their donations) when Sarah’s transition from very pretty woman to “Is that a poorly executing drag queen?” is complete. Yeah, I know; meow.

    Tragically, Bristol’s never gonna have the PAYATTENTIONTOMEEEENOWNOWMEMEMENOWWWW! “charisma” that makes for good television. ‘Attention whore’ normally skips a generation, if only because Mrs. Mean Girl beats her ‘rival’ offspring into submission at an early age. Bristol’s young enough, if she’s lucky she’ll sneak away from Momma’s orbit and disappear into blessed nonentity… but I have a suspicion that in 10 years, she’ll have been surgically altered into a downmarket Barbie-clone and married off to a successful real-estate developer or franchise-chain owner looking to start a second career as a state rep or mayor in some mid-range Southern town. In other words, the male version of Bristol’s momma. Gawds help us, we can only hope she doesn’t end up as Mrs. Newt Number Four…

  179. 179.

    MikeJ

    June 1, 2011 at 1:29 am

    @Violet: Hard to fault Massey. It’s tough to transition from Disney to even minor celeb.

    It’s a pity that Sarah’s zombies will probably wind up sending him death threats. Hope he’s able to make some bucks off the deal.

  180. 180.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 1:30 am

    @shortstop:
    I think MattR is right that Bristol is just a bridge until one of the younger ones gets old enough to be exploited. Not sure what’s going on with Willow. She must be a real troublemaker or something. She rarely gets let out of the compound. Piper gets to go a lot of places and she’s turning into quite the diva. She elbowed reporters out of the way today.

  181. 181.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 1:30 am

    @shortstop: Never too early to put a child on the right side of history. Would you feel ashamed if the kid was wearing a Klan hood and drawing swastikas? Of course not, and being an AL fan is far worse.

  182. 182.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 1:31 am

    @Anne Laurie:

    Native New Yorkers are Mets fans—it’s the move-ins & wanna-be’s from elsewhere who support the Yankees.

    Maybe people from the other four Boroughs are Mets fans, but there are plenty of Bronx natives who love them some Yankees. Besides, everyone knows that the front runners- and there are a bunch of them in New York- will usually prefer the Yankees.

  183. 183.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:33 am

    @Violet: Seeing Piper in those giant sunglasses, so unsuitable for a child, made me sad. Watching her flip her hair back like a teenager makes me sad. Seeing that she’s wearing mascara and carrying Gucci bags makes me sad. Whichever BJ wag came up with The Kids Are All Fucked Up as a title for the Palin biopic was unfortunately dead on.

  184. 184.

    Mnemosyne

    June 1, 2011 at 1:34 am

    Sometimes the ads on here know exactly what I want. (Not that I can afford it.)

  185. 185.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:34 am

    @Martin: It’s hard to argue with that ironclad reasoning. Thanks for the validation!

  186. 186.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 1:35 am

    @Anne Laurie:
    No way. Newt prefers blondes. But yeah, I can see her married off to some idiot with political aspirations.

    I’m just trying to figure out what’s going to happen with the Palins. Are we stuck with them like a political version of the Kardashians. They just won’t go away. Or will Sarah run, fail miserably, and be blacklisted by the GOP power elite. Or maybe some scandal will erupt — Trig’s real mother revealed! — that will be a bridge too far for even her most ardent supporters.

    I just can’t figure out what’s going to happen. I really wish they’d all go away.

  187. 187.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 1:37 am

    @shortstop:

    Whichever BJ wag came up with The Kids Are All Fucked Up as a title for the Palin biopic was unfortunately dead on.

    That was me! Could have been someone else too — there were a lot of titles being tossed around. But yeah, I came up with that. The way she treats her kids makes me sad. They’ve really got to be a mess. That might be the only reason to tune into the Bristol show, just to see how fucked up she is.

  188. 188.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 1:40 am

    @shortstop:

    Dude, after careful textual analysis, I came down on your side. Cut me some slack here. I’m all about the love.

  189. 189.

    Amir_Khalid

    June 1, 2011 at 1:40 am

    @Anne Laurie:
    Now you’ve piqued my curiosity. How does one choke an arse?

  190. 190.

    Jewish Steel

    June 1, 2011 at 1:42 am

    I distinctly told you not to let Stuck and shortstop be in the same room together. Now just look at the place! With the boss coming to dinner and everything.

    And hey! I grew up in the Chicago area. You expect me to be a Cubs fan just because they’re in the NL? Would you really wish that upon me?

  191. 191.

    srv

    June 1, 2011 at 1:43 am

    I’m really tired, but had a thought – what if we funded a bus for Cindy Sheehan to chase Sarah around the country with?

  192. 192.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:44 am

    @Steeplejack: I know it. Mine was sheepish, not accusatory. P.S. I’m XX. Chromosomally, that is.

  193. 193.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:45 am

    @Jewish Steel: Prove your loyalty to the National League or get out of Illinois!

  194. 194.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 1:46 am

    @Amir_Khalid: Is this a riddle?

    I say: A Republican, a necktie, an empty closet, and goat porn.

  195. 195.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 1:46 am

    @srv:
    I’d rather Lady Gaga chase her around the country while singing “Paparazzi” over loudspeakers. I think that might be more to the point.

  196. 196.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 1:46 am

    @Mnemosyne:
    Don’t sweat it. The Scooba is nowhere near as good as the Roomba is, especially the newer Roombas with the Aerovac bin. Even the bigger Scoobas are slow and can only vacuum a limited area on one tank of water, so I wouldn’t expect much from the smaller model. Especially since it requires you to sweep thoroughly before running.

    @Violet:
    My guess is that Clan Palin will only remain interesting until a newer, shinier object- or newer, dumber, more obnoxious politician- is discovered. At that point they will be unceremoniously dropped like a hot rock.

  197. 197.

    Warren Terra

    June 1, 2011 at 1:47 am

    An interesting little story at the New York Times:

    Christie Takes State Copter to Son’s Ballgame
    __
    New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie hopped in a state helicopter on Tuesday afternoon and headed for an event that is not exactly considered important business: His son’s baseball game.
    __
    ….
    use of the state helicopter became less frowned upon after Gov. Jon Corzine was nearly killed in 2007 when his SUV, driven by a state trooper, was involved in a serious crash while speeding on the New Jersey Turnpike. A state panel later said that it would be safer for governors to travel by helicopter on heavy travel days.
    __
    The Star Ledger reported that Mr. Christie had no public events on his schedule Tuesday. But he did have an event scheduled at 6:30 p.m. at the governor’s mansion in Drumthwacket, a meeting with a group of Iowa donors looking to persuade him to run for president in 2012.

  198. 198.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 1:47 am

    @srv: Cindy Sheehan? Nah. Michael Moore.

  199. 199.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 1:48 am

    @Roger Moore: High-five! I want to make sure this expression never dies. Thank you for doing your part to keep it alive.

    ::terrorist fist jab::

    @Steeplejack: Hi, Steepman. How you be? Nice mediating. P.S. shortstop is a woman.

    ETA: She beat me to it. That’s why she’s shortstop, and I’m on the bench.

    Cole, It’s Tunch’s house–the rest of you are just living in it. Lily is a sweet, angelic doll-baby as usual, but WHERE THE HELL IS MY TUNCH PICTURE?! (Just trying to add to the drama).

  200. 200.

    Jewish Steel

    June 1, 2011 at 1:49 am

    @shortstop: Nevah! You can pry my 2005 commemorative WS White Sox baseball out of my cold, dead fingers.

  201. 201.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 1:50 am

    @srv: That would make me uncomfortable for some reason. However, if Kate Goslin and the Duggers were in the bus and just happened to show up everywhere that Sarah went, and you’d also have some kind of hunk bus for Track, Levi, and their new best pal Justin Timberlake, who also happened to show up with llamas across the street from whereever she was, it would be one epic summer adventure, possibly involving a huge ham fight. I might not be able to turn off the TV…and I don’t even like this kind of TV.

  202. 202.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:51 am

    @Jewish Steel: And I loved you so much. That first, fine careless rapture…before I knew.

  203. 203.

    kdaug

    June 1, 2011 at 1:52 am

    @Brian S: Congrats on the link-up.

  204. 204.

    Violet

    June 1, 2011 at 1:52 am

    @Suffern ACE:
    That would be awesome! Why isn’t some reality show producer working on that right now? Get some attention whores in a bus and have them follow around the Palin bus. Show them trying to get interviews with her. Comedy gold!

  205. 205.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 1:53 am

    @asiangrrlMN:
    Until the Yankees have been reduced to their fair share of World Series titles (which by my calculation would require about 500 years without another one, assuming no expansion), I will say FTMFYWAVRPF!

  206. 206.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 1:53 am

    @Jewish Steel: Yes. Because otherwise, you’re rooting for the White Sox and as a Twins fan (gaaaaaah, they suck this year), you and me, we have issues.

    @Roger Moore: Rock on! Fight the power! Power to the people! We will we will rock you!

    FTFYWAVRPFRITE!

  207. 207.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 1:54 am

    @shortstop:
    I was actually going to go back and change “the way Shortstop occasionally refers to the third baseman in his posts” to “his/her,” but the edit window had closed. FYWP.

    I think I have the rare Z (not zombie!) chromosome. Is that a problem for anyone here?

  208. 208.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 1:55 am

    @Steeplejack: Of course not. What kind of a provincial-ass crowd do you think this is?

  209. 209.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 1:56 am

    @Suffern ACE:
    I think you need to throw in some protests by Anonymous and the Westboro Baptist Church just to crank up the media whore quotient.

  210. 210.

    Jewish Steel

    June 1, 2011 at 1:57 am

    @shortstop: Yeah, that’s right, sister. I’m a DH kinda guy, see? The kinda fella who pitches but never hits. Never, that is unless I can get a little inter-league action on the side.

    Oh, I’m trouble alright.

    @asiangrrlMN: Worst team in baseball, right? That is mystifying

  211. 211.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 1:57 am

    @asiangrrlMN: An aural stabbing, huh? Right on.

  212. 212.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:00 am

    @asiangrrlMN:

    So I’m getting grief for not following this blog’s dramatis personae closely enough–the very thing Shortstop was railing against?! Damn, this place is getting way too meta for me. I guess I was in the right place at the wrong time. (Skip to 1:05.)

  213. 213.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 2:00 am

    @Jewish Steel: Sans badinage for that one…laughing too hard. That’s it for me. Good night, American League fans. (In far sweeter voice) Good night, National League fans. Don’t let the memory foam bite.

  214. 214.

    Yutsano

    June 1, 2011 at 2:01 am

    Sheesh. I go to pay my rent and snag a late night Starbeez and this is what I come back to?

    @Steeplejack: Remember, not even Gandhi could keep India united.

  215. 215.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 2:03 am

    @Steeplejack: No grief! None! There was zero reason why you should’ve known! Just a gentle and wholly friendly correction! Honest! Night!

  216. 216.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:04 am

    @shortstop:

    Well, not provincial, but, er, a little . . . argumentative, maybe?

    But at least not litigious. (So far.)

  217. 217.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:04 am

    @Jewish Steel: Ouch. A palpable hit. Just…ouch.

    @MattR: You were soooo close, but wrong E!

    @Yutsano: Yes. This is what happens when you leave, Yutsy!

  218. 218.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 2:05 am

    @Steeplejack:

    I think I have the rare Z (not zombie!) chromosome. Is that a problem for anyone here?

    Z chromosomes aren’t that rare, at least among birds. [biogeek]The alternative to the XY sex chromosome system is the WZ system, which is found in birds and some other animals. Males are ZZ and females are WZ, so the sex is determined by which chromosome the ovum gets, not which one the sperm gets.[/biogeek]

  219. 219.

    General Stuck

    June 1, 2011 at 2:06 am

    Well, this thread turned healthy when I left it for a while. I think you must be right R. Moore. Carry on, and don’t take no wooden nickels. And take it easy shortstop, you’re alright, you just got caught in the eternal fuckhead/stuckhead feud, mostly from timing and me not understanding your comment. No hard feelings, eh! Later alligators.

  220. 220.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:06 am

    @Yutsano:

    True dat.

  221. 221.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:07 am

    @Steeplejack: I’m not giving you grief because there was no way you would know. But, yes, it would behoove a moderator to get that little detail wrong. Not grief, just sayin’.

    And, I prefer this Wrong. You have to watch the whole video.

    @General Stuck: Give Charlie a few pats for me, Stuck. Hope you feel better in the morning.

  222. 222.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:07 am

    @shortstop:

    Well, all right, then. But you’re sure you don’t want to discuss this for another 20-30 posts? Because I can. If you want to.

  223. 223.

    El Cid

    June 1, 2011 at 2:08 am

    @Steeplejack: I had no idea what the fuck that joke was referencing. I know the test, I just don’t recall having heard it called a pebble test. I thought your comment was proposing a general check for sanity.

  224. 224.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:09 am

    @Roger Moore:

    Thanks. I never felt “dirty” about it before, but I think I do now.

  225. 225.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:11 am

    @El Cid: You were funny as hell. I think it’s safe for me to say that now.

  226. 226.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:12 am

    @El Cid:

    I am beginning to think a general check for sanity around here would be a good thing.

    ETA: I never heard it called a “pebble test.” But, c’mon, you hear “Look at this picture of pebbles–what number do you see?” and you don’t make the connection?! Where did you go to elementary school–Alabama?

  227. 227.

    Jewish Steel

    June 1, 2011 at 2:13 am

    @asiangrrlMN: Fear not, Twinkiegrrl. I see our divisional whipping boys, KC, are riding to rescue your team from ignominy. 2-8 in their last 10.

    Did the Royals win the WS in 1985 or 1885? It seems so long ago.

  228. 228.

    Lesley

    June 1, 2011 at 2:13 am

    I realize I am late to this party but John Cole needs to wake up and smell the coffee. If Tunch has his own bedroom and Lily has a bed fit for Cleopatra, Cole is the pet in the house.

  229. 229.

    El Cid

    June 1, 2011 at 2:13 am

    @asiangrrlMN:

    You were funny as hell. I think it’s safe for me to say that now.

    I’ll decide what’s safe here. It’s your job to pick a side.

  230. 230.

    Yutsano

    June 1, 2011 at 2:15 am

    @asiangrrlMN: I kinda felt wrong about it, but my venti shaken passion iced tea lemonade was worth the trip. Plus Her Eminence will appreciate not being homeless. And tomorrow I get to deal primarily with the folks like Burnsy. Sympathy is appreciated.

  231. 231.

    Mnemosyne

    June 1, 2011 at 2:16 am

    @Roger Moore:

    I would want it for our two tiny bathrooms, and possibly the (also small) kitchen floor. Because I really am just that lazy.

    But I still don’t think I could justify paying $300 for it.

  232. 232.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:20 am

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Oh, I’m sorry, did you say Depeche Mode?

  233. 233.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:21 am

    @Jewish Steel: CLEVELAND is leading the division. CLEVELAND!

    Oh, the inhumanity.

    @El Cid: EAST SIDE, represent!

    @Yutsano: Wait, why would Her Eminence end up homeless? Gasp.

    And, you’ll be dealing with lawyerin’ folk tomorrow? My sympathies.

  234. 234.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:23 am

    @Steeplejack: Bwahahhahahha! So true, so true! And, ah, hell. Thread can always use a little bit moar of this.

    @Lesley: We already knew that, of course, but we like to allow Cole his little dignities.

  235. 235.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 2:25 am

    @asiangrrlMN: Wow. That took me way too long to think of another E. And they are only inches away. Definitely a sign it is time for bed, especially since my friend’s dog whom I am dogsitting is very insistent on getting her 8 am walk (As bad as that is for me, it will be worse for my friend when his dog wants that walk at 5am Portland, OR time once I put her on a plane out there)

    (EDIT: I can’t believe I did not think of this during the 80’s fest a couple nights ago)

  236. 236.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:27 am

    @MattR: Ha! Glad you got it. And, yeah, ouch on the getting up for morning walksies. You are so right that your friend will regret it more. Night!

  237. 237.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:30 am

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Damn, I knew it.

    So you will use the kryptonite for anything now, right?

    Uh, be right back . . .

  238. 238.

    Yutsano

    June 1, 2011 at 2:31 am

    @asiangrrlMN: I no send rent check, me and Lexie are living in the car. Not. Fun.

    The lawyerly types don’t tend to annoy me. It’s the CPAs who took a tax class thirty years ago who still think they know everything that get me.

    @MattR: Doggie. Door. Learn it. Live it. Lurve it. You and your pup will be happier.

    (I know not your sweet girl, but just in principle.)

  239. 239.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:33 am

    @MattR:

    Loves me some Cameo! But, really, not “Candy”?

  240. 240.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 2:33 am

    @Yutsano: If I had a house with a yard … (and now we have tied back in to the other thread I am still participating in – John’s post about the crappy state of the housing market) OTOH, part of me regrets not training Ellie to use wee-wee pads on the little deck/balcony attached to my unit.

  241. 241.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    June 1, 2011 at 2:35 am

    @Martin:

    Among the Yankees other failings is that they’re an AL team, and well, the AL is just evil. No rightminded New Yorker would sign on with the AL.

    I’m no New Yorker, but my husband and I actually pledged “undying opposition to the designated hitter rule” in our wedding vows.

  242. 242.

    Anne Laurie

    June 1, 2011 at 2:38 am

    @Amir_Khalid: Dunno. My old man was always threatening to do that, but he never actually demonstrated the maneuver in front of us kids.

    His other go-to threat involved ‘sticking [unlikely object] where the sun don’t shine’, which would probably choke most alimentary egresses. My personal favorite was the threat to’tear out [opponent’s] asshole & pull it over his head like a frilly collar’, but he saved that to indicate really serious ire. He was a dockmaster (to use his term, ‘a dockhand with better than a third-grade education’) so these were the relatively clean insults in his vocabulary, suitable for use in front of children & other sensitive types.

  243. 243.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:42 am

    @Yutsano: Oh, hell, yeah. That would be a problem. Lexie would be MOST unhappy with you (and she’s the one who counts, right?).

    @Steeplejack: I was hoping to lure you into thinking it was go-go dancers. Ha!

  244. 244.

    Yutsano

    June 1, 2011 at 2:43 am

    @asiangrrlMN: So now Grady Sizemore is breaking my heart? Well at least he’s a local boy.

    @MattR: Fear not good sir. 80’s music threads have a tendency to pop up here like a bad rash. One only needs have patience.

    And agreed on the yard issue. Only two things keeping me from Great Dane luve right now:

    A) 576 square foot rented condo.

    B) One pet rule. And even then there’s a size restriction.

    @Martin: Grifters. Gotta. Grift. It’s an obsession with her now. She’s making the easiest money she’d ever made in her life for more or less standing there. It’s a beauty queen’s dream writ large.

  245. 245.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:44 am

    @asiangrrlMN:

    No, I’m onto your tricks.

  246. 246.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 2:45 am

    Well, I just learned something. According to the Colbert Report’s guest (Colbert’s atty and former FEC chair) Palin can use her PAC money to pay for her family vacation so long as she’s not running for federal office. So long as she doesn’t formally announce, and keep pretending to not run for office [nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more] she remains a walking slush fund.

  247. 247.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:47 am

    @Anne Laurie:

    Good times. The one I remember is: “If I have to come back there I’ll give you something to really cry about.”

  248. 248.

    Steeplejack

    June 1, 2011 at 2:48 am

    @Martin:

    Damn, that’s just not right. But it fits so perfectly.

  249. 249.

    Suffern ACE

    June 1, 2011 at 2:50 am

    @Martin: At what point are these PAC contributions considered taxable gifts?

  250. 250.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 2:53 am

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: You know, the Torah proclaims that a marriage built on such bedrock principles will never run out of orgasms.

  251. 251.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:53 am

    @Steeplejack: Damn. Next time, I’ll have to mix it up. I hate being predictable.

    @Suffern ACE: Very good question. I would like to know the answer to that, too.

    @Martin: Oh my god that cracked me the fuck up for some reason, I know not why.

  252. 252.

    MattR

    June 1, 2011 at 2:54 am

    @Suffern ACE: IIRC, the IRS is just starting to go after some of the corporate contributors over this very issue.

    @Martin: As I commented at GOS, the questions from the FEC seem to indicate the ways that they are going to try and differentitate Colbert and his PAC from Karl Rove or Dick Morris and their PACs.

    @Yutsano: It’s hard to blame Palin for taking advantage of the system. I would do the same thing if I had no ethics and no discernible skills like she does.

  253. 253.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 2:54 am

    @General Stuck:
    Sorry if I got angrier than I should have. I just find the shouting match you’re in to be especially frustrating because I think both sides are capable of contributing positively to the discussion here. I’ve seen both sides do so when the other doesn’t show up. It’s only when both of you are in the same discussion that things heat up and the discussion gets derailed. I just wish there were some way of toning down the argument so you didn’t get sidetracked; I assume it’s as frustrating for you as for the rest of us.

  254. 254.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 2:56 am

    @Yutsano: Gah! Now you’re posting from the future, too! Is asiangrrl some kind of time travel vampire?

  255. 255.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 2:57 am

    @Suffern ACE: Never. The PAC is basically turning herself into a non-profit. Money goes in, she buys shoes, the circle of life is complete.

  256. 256.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 2:58 am

    @Yutsano: Grady Sizemore is DEAD TO ME!

    ETA: Not that I ever cared about him in the first place.

    @Martin: Bwahahahah. Yes. He pestered me for the trick, and I’ve taught him well.

    @MattR: Pretty much. Like, I’m madder at the media for chasing her around the country than I am at her for pulling the stunt. They’re the dupes and the idiots for doing what she wants.

    Martin, well, damn. But how does that work? As long as she doesn’t declare, she can use the money for anything?

  257. 257.

    Yutsano

    June 1, 2011 at 3:01 am

    @Martin: My mistress has indeed taught me well. The inherent perquisites of Denobulan marriage are not lost on my person. Now if only I could finagle Aussie citizenship…

  258. 258.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 3:04 am

    @Yutsano: Ha! You’re the one who wore me down with persistent pestering. Or not. I will share my trick with anyone who asks.

    Let’s all be Aussies now!

  259. 259.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 3:04 am

    @asiangrrlMN: It’s because it’s true. ‘Do not covet thy neighbors wife’ is not the 10th commandment. Steinbrenner had all the Bibles changed, striking out ‘Do not bat without running your fat sorry ass into a defensive position.’ The Jews knew shit…

  260. 260.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 3:05 am

    @Anne Laurie:
    Hmm. The best I can ever remember hearing used in anger was “I’m going to rip off your head and shit down your neck”. That was from a friend who was big enough and looked mean enough that it didn’t seem like an idle threat.

  261. 261.

    Martin

    June 1, 2011 at 3:06 am

    @MattR: Well, I think anyone on TV with a PAC, which would include Palin and most of the Fox crew. But good on Colbert for challenging the FEC on something that none of us could do.

  262. 262.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 3:10 am

    @Martin: Oh my god. I’m having an apoplectic fit (once I figured out what you meant). That’s hilarious.

    ETA: But, as noted above, I am a Twins’ fan, so I’m pro-DH.

    ETA, Eleven-billionty: Can we toss the ‘Thou shalt not take thy lord’s name in vain’? I don’t like that commandment.

  263. 263.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 3:16 am

    @asiangrrlMN:
    What’s wrong with not taking the Lord’s name in vain? It means you’re not supposed to swear an oath falsely, not that you’re forbidden from cursing up a storm. I’d think you’d be more upset at the bit about honoring your parents.

  264. 264.

    asiangrrlMN

    June 1, 2011 at 3:20 am

    @Roger Moore: Oh, damn. I forgot that’s the true meaning of that commandment. You’re right. Let’s throw out the honoring the parents one. Or resting on the Sabbath. Either or.

  265. 265.

    Yutsano

    June 1, 2011 at 3:22 am

    @asiangrrlMN: I rest on the Sabbath. Or at least nap. I still do ebil things like drive and cook though. I admit I don’t have EE’s discipline, but I bet her cholent is fucking awesome.

  266. 266.

    Roger Moore

    June 1, 2011 at 3:25 am

    @asiangrrlMN:
    I want to keep the resting on the Sabbath. If it weren’t for that one, the fucking Republicans would demand we work 7 days a week. I think we’d better keep the ones about bearing false witness, stealing, murder, adultery, and coveting thy neighbor’s stuff.

  267. 267.

    shortstop

    June 1, 2011 at 8:17 am

    Thanks, GS. Hope today is a better day.

  268. 268.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 1, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Damn, sorry me and Corner Stone derailed this open thread. He’ll be surprised, no doubt.

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