Shaq retires after 19 season. True to form, he announced it on twitter.
Not a fan of the NBA but I’ve always kind of liked the guy.
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.
Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.
If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!
Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.
If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.
I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.
Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.
New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.
Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.
When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.
They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.
Only Democrats have agency, apparently.
Tick tock motherfuckers!
Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.
Damn right I heard that as a threat.
“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”
When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?
Fuck these fucking interesting times.
Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.
Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.
Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.
Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?
In my day, never was longer.
Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
rob!
FINALLY we’re going to get Steel 2!
Joel
Bring back the Fu Schnickens!
LowProfileinGA
NBA libel!
The Dangerman
Great player that damaged a lot of rims (free throws, not dunks).
Which will be how Palin announces her run.
JPL
How’s my boyfriend…whoops…maybe I shouldn’t say that since someday it could come back to haunt me but he was a great player.
Death Panel Truck
Shaq who?
And what is this NBA of which you speak?
Howlin Wolfe
I like the NBA and I like Shaq. I wasn’t a fan of his style of play, but I like him as a personality. Anybody who has his talent and size, but comes across as somewhat humble, doesn’t take himself too seriously, has my vote. If I find out he eats kittens, well, I’ll be disappointed. Hard to imagine, though.
Han's Solo
I wonder if he will stay retired.
Jewish Steel
@rob!: + Kazaam 2
I loathed him in his early days and never, never understood why commentators would just gush over his skills. No jumper, no free throws. His main post move was being gigantic. I’ll take Hakim for my big man every time.*
His eagerness to joke around with his teammates and make them laugh softened me up a bit. Can’t dislike someone who mainly wants to crack his friends up.
*Although his rookie highlight reel is pretty impressive.
@Howlin Wolfe: Yup. What you said.
Old Dan and Little Ann
Shaq’s a good dude. He has always talked about gettting into law enforcement. I’m curious to see if he follows through with it.
Jewish Steel
@Old Dan and Little Ann: Yeah!I was thinking the same thing. He’s always wanted to be a cop. Weird!
gene108
Hard to believe Shaq has only one league MVP award. He was a force to be reckoned with.
In his early years he was second in the league in scoring behind Jordan. If he could’ve hit his FT’s, he’d have had himself a scoring title or two.
When he went to the Lakers, you had teams load up on big bodies, to get passed the him in the play offs.
Ostertag would start, when the Jazz played the Bulls in the Finals, but would spend 38 minutes on the bench, because he brought nothing to help the Jazz get passed the Bulls. The Jazz needed him to body up with Shaq.
The Sixers in 2001 got Mutumbo to try and body up with Shaq, if they made it to the Finals.
The league was cluttered with big bodies, who had no other job then to bang with Shaq.
Hard to believe guys like Karl Malone have more MVP awards than Shaq.
I wish the sportswriters would get out of MVP voting and let the players vote, who among their peers they feel is the best.
The sportswriters, the last few years, seem to pick the best player on the team with the best record and hand them the MVP award.
Sixers
Are we sure his twitter wasn’t “hacked”?
Shaq-Best Center of his era. Level with Hakeem all time.
cs
I have no idea of Shaq is a decent human being or not. But, considering his role in a wrong house SWAT raid that terrorized innocents, and considering his complete lack-of-apology, I don’t have very warm feelings towards him.
I hope he’ll find a different hobby for his retirement.
Chyron HR
“Ladies and gentlemen, I am no longer the victim of a basketball jones.”
James K Polk, Esq.
Shaq was always underrated, even when he was winning MVPs. They had to change the rules because of his skills.
Anyone who says his skill was that he “was big” never watched an NBA game closely. There have been plenty of big guys before him and there will be plenty of big guys after him. Never again will you see someone 7’1″ who has agility, grace and touch like him.
Can’t shoot free throws though. No one is perfect.
nancydarling
For good reason you have always kinda liked him Cole. I know from personal acquaintance with the grandmother in this story that when her grandson, age 9 or 10, lost 3 limbs from some sort of flesh-eating bacterial infection, O’Neal stepped up to pay for prostheses and a special van with a wheel chair lift. It never made the news, because that’s just the way O’Neal rolled.
Lev
Well, I grew up hating Shaq, ’cause I’m from Sacramento and the Lakers knocked us out of the playoffs a bunch of times. Now that I don’t live there (and they’re losing the Kings anyway), I feel like I can give the guy his due. A talented player and seemingly an okay dude. Not so great as an actor, but the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode he was in was really great. He was ahead of the curve with the ironic celebrity cameo thing, think that was around 2000.
JonF
There’s a million stories about Shaq doing good deeds without the cameras around(most famously just randomly paying everyone’s bills at walmart when he shows up there). But he was a legendary player and a legendary person.
p.a.
Celtic-haters should love him. He stole their $$$ this year, going to every restaurant opening and cub scout jamboree out to the I495 ring. Rehab sessions? Not so much.
KG
I’m a Lakers fan, and loved the guy most of the time he was here. But there were always two Shaqs – motivated, hungry Shaq, and fat, lazy Shaq. Motivated Shaq was one of the four or five best Centers of all time (Kareem, Wilt, Mikan, Russell). But fat Shaq was more annoying than any player in the history of sports. Still, glad I got to see him play.
punkdavid
I have a big soft spot for Shaq. I think he’s got his head in the right place, which is hard for a rich celebrity who’s 7’1″.
Amy
BTW, did you happen to see this from LGF about the big security hole that enabled Weiner to be framed?
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/38648_Documented_Yfrog_MMS_Feature_Made_Framing_Rep._Weiner_Easy
Eric S.
When [email protected]Jewish Steel:
This.
I have this old fashioned concept that professional basketball players should be able to make free throws. That said, he was always a good passer. I stopped watching basketball with any regularity about halfway through his career but it seemed he developed a couple respectable post up moves over time.
DFH no.6
Loved Shaq in that one “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode (the one where Larry accidentally tripped Shaq during a game from his spectator spot right on the sidelines).
One of my favorite episodes.
What am I saying? All the “Curb” episodes are my favorite.
Also, too, not a big NBA fan.
Fuck LeBron (I grew up in Cleveland — can you tell?).
Shoemaker-Levy 9
Nothing against the guy personally, but he was more or less the final nail in the coffin for me and the NBA.
Much like American politics the NBA relies heavily on cult of personality, and a decision was made when Jordan was aging that Shaq would be the next cult hero. So the NBA was hitching its ride to the following typical offensive possession:
The ball goes to Shaq in the post.
The most fundamental rule of basketball (travelling) is immediately and flagrantly broken, even by the pathetic standards of NBA enforcement.
One of two things happens next. Either Shaq flagrantly violates another fundamental rule of basketball, that of a defender to his position on the court, only to have the ref call a foul…….. on the defender, or
he kicks the ball back to a teammate standing just behind the three point line, where he has been motionless the last fifteen seconds, for a jump shot.
If the former, Shaq goes to the line and blind-squirrels a stunning fifty percent of his free throws through the hoop.
If the latter the announcer coos sweet nothings about Shaq’s superb court awareness.
Other than Jack Nicholson I have no idea who would find that entertaining.
gex
When I think of Shaq, I think about how the T-wolves were robbed in the first of many draft robberies. We got Laettner instead. Not that Minnesota ever gets to keep superstars anyhow (Garnett, Santana, Moss).
DFH no.6
@James K Polk, Esq.:
Umm… Dirk Nowitzki?
Who is also, so I hear, among the best at shooting free throws (and is the only possible obstacle from fucking LeBron “I phoned it in during the ’10 playoffs with the Cavs, so what?” James getting his chanpionship ring with Miami).
Come to think of it, I hate the NBA.
Church Lady
@Amy:
Interesting. Is there any way that you can determine with “certitude” if the junk in the picture is Weinerman’s?
Tom Levenson
Shaq was great fun during his cup o’ coffee with the Celtics this year. Good man to have around…and a beast in his time.
Have a great life.
taylormattd
Is this the appropriate place for me, a lifelong Seattle Sonics fan, to say the following?:
FUCK YOU HOWARD SHULTZ
FUCK YOU CLAY BENNETT
FUCK YOU NBA
(Also, Mutumbo can still kiss my ass)
kth
@gex: You got to keep Herschel Walker!
Gregory
I kind of dug it when Shaquille O’Neal guest conducted the Boston Pops.
cmorenc
I’ve always liked Shaq, or at least the person he showed to the public, but there’s one thing about him as a player that lowered my respect for him in that department:
– He made over $20 million a season on the basketball court alone (as a player per se) during his prime, i.e. not including his considerable outside income from endorsements.
– YET he never learned to improve his free throw shooting before a rather dismal percentage (53%). For a guy paid as much as he was, who so frequently got favorable foul calls that sent him to the line during games, that’s a rather abysmal skill deficit to have. Being a BIG MAN over 7 feet tall is no excuse: Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks regularly shoots over 90% from the line, and has hit as many as 68 in a row without missing. CONCLUSION: Dirk put in the time and effort to develop the skill, Shaq did not, essentially because he was such a dominant key marquis player otherwise, coaching staffs and peers didn’t have enough leverage to motivate him to put in more than a nominal effort to improve in that department.
luc
@Shoemaker-Levy 9:
Thanks for this comment. I was thinking similarly for many years. Nothing against the personality and skills for a guy this size and weight but the Shaq-cult,-commerce, and bending- the-rules of the game for him made the NBA style a game for bullies and not worth watching.
Jewish Steel
More damning that his lack of a free throw, which I can imagine you could psyche yourself out of, is the absence of a reliable 8-10 footer. Look at ridiculously unstoppable, un-guardable Dirk is with his 15 foot fade away. Shit, 5 feet was outside of Shaq’s comfort zone.
Bubblegum Tate
Why I didn’t like Shaq:
1. He made up a bunch of bullshit about David Robinson (perhaps my all-time favorite NBA player)
2. He played for the goddamn motherfucking bitch-ass Lakers.
Why I liked Shaq:
1. He seemed like a genuine, funny dude.
2. He was generous with both his time and his money.
Frank W.
I am such a Luddite… even though I teach online and read blogs and contribute to forums (in my meager way), I don’t Tweet. (Do we capitalize “Tweet”?) I don’t own a cell phone (by choice) or an ipod. I do very much like my aging laptop.
As for Shaq: he lived up to some of his potential and could have been better still, but who among as can’t say the same thing about ourselves?
Glenn Fayard
People. You do not have the ability to accept greatness.
1. You have to learn how to shoot free throws well to be a dominating big man. Everybody knows that. Just like Wilt Chamberlain. *smh*
2. You know you have to work on your post game, too, right? This year, in fact, is the first time The World’s Greatest Tall HONKY (gasp) Dirk Nowitzki has been posting up. And he still sucks at it. At 7′ plus.
3. Shaq seems to have a few more rings than Dirk, hmm? Maybe Dirk picked the wrong thing to practice.
patrick II
@cmorenc:
That would be an incorrect conclusion. Shaq spent a lot of time and teams hired a lot of shooting coaches trying to teach him to shoot. Wilt Chamberlin couldn’t shoot free throws either. The reason you see that more in big men more than little men is that little guys who can’t shoot don’t make it to the NBA.
Rajon Rondo is the exception — a little guy who can’t shoot free throws or jump shots from more than about 10 feet.. He works at it I am sure, but some people just lack the touch. Some day he may find it, but its not there now.
Joel
@cmorenc: The free throw shooting wasn’t for lack of trying. I remember tons of articles like this during his playing career. He just had a serious mental block when it came to free throw shooting. It happens. He was phenomenal none the less.
The real criticism that can be directed at Shaq the player is that he didn’t keep his playing weight down. Who knows if he could have avoided injuries more often, but if he did, we’d probably be discussing the greatest center that ever lived. Those 15+ games a year that he missed for the past 10 years of his career cost his teams a lot of production.
Still, it’s hard to fault Shaq and he’ll be rightfully remembered as one of the greatest centers to play the game. If you go by the basketball-reference “elo” ratings, which are basically a tabulation of head-to-head voting matchups, Shaq is the fifth best center of all time (and 13th best player). Sounds about right to me.
David
I never cared for Shaq. He seemed kinda immature to me. It’s notable that Shaq could never co-exist happily with another superstar-level player. First he couldn’t get along with Penny, then he couldn’t get along with Kobe once Kobe reached his prime, then he couldn’t get along with D-Wade once D-Wade reached his prime. As long as they were willing to be Robin to his Batman, everything was fine. Once they asserted themselves, then they had problems with Shaq. Other great centers, like Kareem or Wilt or Russell or Hakeem didn’t have that problem.
But he did seem like a good person off the court.
Jewish Steel
@Glenn Fayard: IIRC, Shaq has one more ring than Luc Longley. And for many of the same reasons.
@Patrick II: Yes. I remember the same thing. I don’t know if he really put in the kind of off season hrs that would make a difference or not. But I’m assuming he did and had some kind of mental block.
Hal
Funniest line in Scary Movie 2:
Mr Stagger Lee
@nancydarling: He also had a respect for some of the older NBA players that faded in obscurity like George Mikan, the first big man star of the NBA, he paid for his funeral, IIRC.
Cheryl from Maryland
I like Shaq because his mother was his bad ass athletic inspiration. And because he promised her he would get his undergraduate degree, and he did.
Joel
@efgoldman: Not true; Chamberlain shot 51.1% for his career. Shaq shot 52.7%.
jharp
100% agree with you John.
Shaq always was and is to this day a good man and a very likable dude.
Dan
When I lived in LA, I worked at Jerry’s Famous in Westwood. Shaq would come in three or four times a year. His tab would never get higher then $25, but he would always leave a C note. This was when the Lakers were taking home championships, BTW.
Paul in KY
As great as he was, he could have been greater if he’d tried to stay in shape the last 10 years of his career. He would speak his mind, which I generally like in an athlete (or just about anyone else).
Paul in KY
@DFH no.6: I’m rooting for Dallas (which I despise as a city) for the same reason. They need to get one tonight or LeWad will have his ring (ugh).
Paul in KY
@efgoldman: Wilt was pretty bad. Right there with Shaq.