Last night, Rosie got underneath the bed before I could crate her, and since I had worked in the yard and garden and cleaned the basement and steam-cleaned half the carpets, my shoulder was killing me, I was exhausted, and I just didn’t want to deal with trying to get her fat ass out from under my bed with treats and a broom and said to hell with it and went to sleep. This morning, I woke up to this:
Why yes, that is two separate messes within 12 inches of the GOD DAMNED carpet cleaner that I had left out so I could move the furniture and do the other side of the room today.
I’ve never had a dog who vengeance shits like this before, but this is not a dog who was held inside for hours unable to relieve herself. She did a #2 at 11:30, I went to bed at 12:15, and that was there at 6 am. There was no food on the ground for her to eat all night and make it impossible for her to wait until 6 am. The water bowl was elevated (as I do every night) for Tunch only, yet because she is a vindictive bitch who hates me, Rosie had to force out whatever she could onto my clean floor. She has no urinary infection, she has no bowel problem, she’s just a bitch. That’s not a “OMG MY LEGS ARE CROSSED I CAN’T HOLD IT ANYMORE” bowel movement- I know the size of her BM’s. That’s a “HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU JOHN COLE AND YOUR STUPID CAT AND LITTLE RAT DOG” mess.
I love the dog, but there are seriously days when I want her to go on vacation with Mitt Romney. I think this is some sort of payback for me being such a bastard to my parents as a kid, or for some other sin I have committed and must pay a cosmic price. Or maybe she’s a Republican and she just likes to leave messes for Democrats to clean up.
Hannity Hussein
That’s what you get for taking in a Republican pooch.
trickle shit down economics
trollhattan
Oy. Yup, I’d say a non-accident “accident” from the “Big Book of Being a Passive-Aggressive Doggie.” She needs a session or three with Victoria. Or a nice, long drive in the country.
Violet
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. Rosie sure knows how to get your attention, doesn’t she?
Trinity
You nailed it.
oh, and how about posting a Tunch pic? Everyone is so cranky today. Either pets or start mainlining mojitos…something has got to give.
cckids
Oh, John, I feel for you. I know animal trainer-types say that dogs & cats don’t do things for revenge, but they are so wrong. Last October, I bought the “lite” cat food for the tubby cat & he hated it. On the second day of being served it, he waited until I’d been in bed for 30 minutes or so, jumped up beside me & pissed. All over the down comforter, mattress (. . me). At 2:00 am.
They understand revenge all right. Quite well.
DFH no.6
Karma can be a bitch, yes.
Apparently, sometimes literally.
Have had many dogs (and a few cats long ago — I’m allergic) over the past 50+ years (currently, three rescue mutts). I feel your pain — a couple of my present pack like to eat upholstered chairs when left unattended for “too long”.
And I feel the love for these ridiculous creatures, also, too.
Joseph Nobles
I’d say that was revenge for the carpet cleaning machine itself. You’re getting rid of her scent and she’s threatened and fighting back. Plus it’s probably loud and you spend more time with it, etc.
ETA: Plus, do you normally get her out from under the bed with treats? Is that like a constant thing? Because if it is and she was expecting it and you didn’t, then one more thing for Rosie to get shitty about.
chopper
have you ever considered the possibility of a second shitter? specifically near a grassy knoll?
shortstop
John. Dog minds don’t do human-style vengeance. When are you going to quit randomly bitching and get some good, one-on-one training for yourself?
I know damned well how frustrating it can be. We’ve got a rescue with a year’s subscription. She exhibits behavior that perfectly mimics human stubbornness, but is actually fear of loud mechanical noises outdoors. I don’t know what Rosie’s problem is, but a good trainer will.
shortstop
@chopper: Awesome.
And to add to mine of 12:32, I don’t mean to come off all sanctimonious. I know how tough this is and we’ve been guilty of procrastinating dealing with dog problems on more than one dog. But dude, definition of crazy, 1000 times, etc. You don’t have to live like this.
Josie
John – You need to think ahead of Rosie. Do you take her out on a leash for her last potty? Bring her in on the leash and straight to the crate with a yummy treat. Do not give her the chance to get loose and hide. Do this every single night, and at some point she will think there is no other way to operate. My son’s crazy little pug (I am pet sitting for the year), who is more passive aggressive than a 2 1/2 year old toddler, only has to hear the treat bag rattle and she runs into her pen to wait attentively. Treats are magic if used appropriately with a food obsessive dog. Small pieces of hot dog or cheese probably would work fine.
David
My sister solved the exact same problem with an outdoor doghouse. The dog was never, ever allowed in the house and everyone was perfectly happy.
PeakVT
Will no commenter rid John of his pesky dog?
tBoy
Crate her at bedtime and when you are not home. You will both be happier. At bedtime our “trouble” dogs now ask to go in their crates.
p.a.
Maybe she’s auditioning for a (ahem) spot on a QVC/HSN carpet cleaner segment? As a TV pooch, she could be your ticket to an early retirement life of luxury in Key West!
shortstop
@Josie: Hot dogs + cheese = magic. The only two things that will get Herself to do the stuff she really doesn’t want to do.
In an unrelated topic, John, I meant to ask you if you ever plant root vegetables like turnips, rutabagas, etc. In the past we have discussed our mutual love of same, and I wondered if you’d ever tried them in the garden.
FormerSwingVoter
Isn’t this why obedience school exists? To teach your dog that you’re the alpha, and teach you how to be the alpha?
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@chopper:
lily as agent provacateur?
its always the quiet ones.
bkny
oh hell … ‘go on vacation with mitt romney’ … sorry about the cause; but that’s too damn funny. and an excellent threat to keep in mind for poochie… ;-)
Butch
We just completed a move of about 1,200 miles; just outside Ogalalla, Nebraska, our van broke down and we spent three days in a hotel room with four dogs and six cats waiting for it to be fixed…I’ve been waiting for revenge ever since and it hasn’t happened. I guess they like their new home here in the U.P.
Carnacki
Be honest, you’re blaming the dog for what YOU did in the night
Carnacki
@bkny: Needs to be a new tag
steviez314
Since Rosie doesn’t have a blog to bitch and moan about you, this is what she does.
Get over it.
Felinious Wench
@cckids:
This is my cat’s primary form of communication when she’s really pissed off.
Liberal Sandlapper
Really? You get that pissed off about a little pile of poo and a pee? Dude – get a German Shepherd with a very healthy appetite and forget to let him out before bed one night.
freelancer
I don’t see the Ryan Plan anywhere in this post.
Keith
My cat shits in the bathroom sink. I usually notice it when I start brushing my teeth.
rea
It’s got to be a territorial thing, just like when Republicans shit all over the country.
Rancher
@Josie – we had a Jack Russell for 14 years and food obsessive was a mild description of her behavior. I agree with your advice. Previously, I had been owned mostly by big dogs and expected some command authority – the JR expected negotiation and a more direct commercial arrangement – you offer me A TREAT, O MY DOG, A TREAT and I will try to figure out what I can do that will induce you to GIVE ME THE DAMN TREAT NOWWWWW. After the behavior = reward was somewhat established, the behavior didn’t always require a treat, but did need to be occasionally rewarded with treat and happy talk.
shortstop
@Keith: LOL…but do you sometimes not notice it when you start brushing your teeth?
Nemesis
Clear cut case of vindictiveness.
The only way to get her to change is to leave the mess where it lies. Trust me. The dog whisperer says so.
Carnacki
@Liberal Sandlapper: Or play fetch with a German shepherd who loves to go after the ball wherever it is if you don’t throw it fast enough AND has poor depth perception because of an eye problem. I’m surprised I have all my fingers.
gogol's wife
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that is such a cute picture.
MattR
@Liberal Sandlapper: This is what I am learning as I dog sit a 75lb lab mix. My Ellie’s poop seems dainty by comparison.
cckids
My going-on-elderly Pomeranian, when he decides he needs a middle-of-the night shit, doesn’t even try to wake us up. He very politely takes a dump directly in front of the toilet. I think if he were tall enough, he’d use it.
We ALWAYS turn the light on when we go in there. Lesson learned.
Josie
@Rancher: You have described exactly the difference between my big dog and the pug. It took me a while to figure it out. I was used to being the pack leader and using my authority to get respect and obedience. The pug said, in effect, “Bwa ha ha ha ha!” That was when I had to learn to use a different method.
me
Speaking of turds…
Ghanima Atreides
ahem.
Rosie is a JACK RUSSELL TERRIOR.
This is how they behave. They are filled with self-importance.
They believe they can poo or pee wherever they please.
This is documented terrior behavior.
Again. Build the damn fence.
You will get along much better if shes tired.
Thoughtcrime
Karma for voting for Bush. TWICE!
Rosalita
I agree with Josie at #11. Walk her and crate her each night. My mother and step-dad trained their puppy this way. Now, when it’s 10P Jennie opens the crate door and goes in to sleep all by herself. No kidding.
shaun
No dog has to be crated unless there are special circumstances (which you don’t have) or they haven’t been trained (which you haven’t done).
Rosie is now an old dog to whom you can teach no new tricks. You created the problem, not Rosie, and you’re going to have to live with it.
Do the dog world a favor and never get another dog unless you are going to take the time early on to teach it that it’s a people’s world and not a dog’s world.
birthmarker
@Felinious Wench: I can’t speak much about dogs, but cats can definitely hold a grudge…
Han's Solo
@tBoy: I agree. I have 4 dogs and the young ones are crated at night. You have to earn the right to stay out at night.
Of course the older two dogs, the ones not crated, sleep next to me in the bedroom. I love them, they rock, but they are older and frequently have gas. I’m not talking, “Did you just fart Phillip?”,”Yes, I did Terrence, hahahaha” type farts either. I’m talking farts that could straighten pubic hair.
PS – Many animal experts will swear up and down that dogs don’t poo vengefully. No, I’m not convinced that is true, but they are.
Yevgraf (fka Michael)
I had a dog that took vengeance shits, after she proved that no fence could hold her. I’d walk her around for about 2 miles, and the stubborn thing would hold it.
If she’d get out, she made me chase her around the neighborhood till 3 AM. She wasn’t friendly or happy, either, and wanted to kill every dog she came across.
She was about two years old – we’d rescued her from a house which was in the process of an ugly divorce, and it was apparent that she’d not been well-socialized. I also got the feeling she was badly neglected, as she’d thrown two litters already, the first when she was under a year.
I had her put down the day after she’d
-scratched the hell out of my (then) 4 year old, who’d been quietly sitting with her and rubbing her head;
-gotten loose after scratching the 4 year old; and
-attacked the backyard neighbor’s dog on the porch, and then the backyard neighbor when she intervened.
Worst. Fucking. Dog. Ever. I actually cried about having to do that, but I felt there was no choice.
Han's Solo
@Ghanima Atreides: Wait, she is a Jack Russel? My neighbor had one of those. If you build a fence it had best be a good one, Jack Russels tend to escape.
If any dog is capable of vengeance pooping it is the Jack Russel. They are a “high energy” breed that needs “Strong leadership.” Good luck with that.
Rosalita
@shaun:
He rescued Rosie from the side of the damn road. What would you say if he had left her there?
WereBear
Correction. The dog was likely miserable; they are not meant to be alone.
I’m of the school that says, “If the dog is chained in the backyard all the time, why did you get a dog?”
Capri
I once fostered a dog that hid under a couch when it was time to get in the crate. I fixed the problem by opening the front door and ringing the door bell. He was completely incapable of remaining hidden if there was the slightest, most remote possibility that someone new was at the door.
Even after 2 weeks it worked like a charm.
chopper
just imagine you have my 85-lb bulldog instead of a dainty jack russel terrorist. her shits are the size of cats.
Josie
@shaun: This is just not true. Dogs have different needs, just like people. My big dog does not need to be crated, but the little ones do. My son’s pug was six years old when I got her and she has been trained to go happily into her pen. I use a folding pen from Petsmart instead of a crate; I don’t know whether that makes a difference. Dogs live in the present tense. With proper training and treats they can learn at any age, maybe not intricate stuff, but enough to make them decent companions.
Edit: Except maybe the dog that Yevgraf described above.
Carnacki
@shaun: That’s rather humancentric of you.
I think it’s a world we share with dogs. Anyone who thinks man is God’s greatest creation has never lived with a lab-shepherd mix.
John Cole
@shaun: You are an idiot. She was an old dog when I found her on the side of the road, and I’ve made multiple attempts to train her. There are no trainers around her or I would pay for it. You also have probably never been around a Jack Russell terrier, which are not like other dogs, FULL STOP.
Lily sits. Lily comes when I call. Rosie has better things to do.
taylormattd
Best tag ever.
tt crews
This is how you respect lunch time? With a photo of dog shit? Put me straight off my ham and cheese sandwich.
taylormattd
@shaun: You are a fucking moron. Crating dogs at night is not only perfectly fine, many LOVE their crates. Rosie is not Bradley Manning.
shortstop
@shaun:
Nah. We trained two rescues that were 12 and 13 years old. One was slightly harder to train than a young dog and the other was the fastest learner we ever had.
Dogs do stuff to get rewards — food, toys, physical affection, playtime with other dogs, etc. I can’t say it’s almost mathematical, because there are lots of different personality and behavior scenarios, and it does tend to be harder with older dogs, but the idea that an old dog can’t be trained at all is pure myth. They all respond to rewards to some, usually a big, degree.
@Han’s Solo: I’m not a professional, but the argument goes like this: pets will pee and poop to get attention, express fear or anxiety, or try to assert authority, not anything like human revenge, which requires a cognitive process that animals don’t have. You have to do different things with a dog to change that behavior than you would with a human.
Uncle Glenny
The pit bull mix I had 20+ years ago had the problem (once he was housebroken – I’d taken in a full grown stray that apparently had been raised outside) that he often didn’t fully evacuate unless he was sufficiently perambulated. The leg motion I suppose… There were very few accidents but sometimes he was quite desperate by morning. He was otherwise very, very good, and as he got older got conditioned to going out right after eating (he was fed twice a day his whole life).
pragmatism
my aussie cattle dog is a vengeful pooper as well. we have dog sitters stay at our house to normalize things as much as we can but he’ll still drop a deuce inside to let us know that he’s not pleased he was left behind. since he’s part dingo, i nominate him for the dingo that ate this blog’s baby.
shortstop
@Josie: Nicely put on all counts,.
BoredNow
Heh I had a feeling we were due a Rosie Rant You could tell from the odd caustic remark that it was a coming
My favourite revenge poo story involved a cat directly dumping onto the object (person?) of vengence
shortstop
@John Cole: Really? You haven’t been able to find a trainer around there? That bites.
I wonder if you could do something online or over the phone. Once the pros teach us how to change our own behavior, changing the dog’s is relatively easy. I wish I’d learned as fast as that 12-year-old heeler mix of ours.
Max
I recognize that move! We got a havanese last fall to keep Max the Wheaten company and she (Lucy) definitely pees for revenge.
If DH or I don’t give her what she wants, attention, food, attention, toy, attention… we actually say to each other “she’ll be peeing on the carpet soon”.
At least when she poops in the house, she goes on the hardwood, I cannot figure out why she won’t pee on the hardwood too.
Damn you little dogs! :)
Twinky P
Just shoot the damn thing and get it over with. You hate the fucking thing, get rid of it.
Larkspur
John, you’ve had umpteen million offers to help you find Rosie a new home.
Josie
@shortstop: Thanks. (blushes)
Strandedvandal
Clearly shaun has never had a dog,
All of our animals have been rescues that were beyond that puppy stage and all of them have been trained, and all of them have been crated. If done correctly, it is not seen as punishment, but as a place for them to rest and relax away from everyone.
It’s getting them to think that it isn’t a punishment that is hard. Especially when you think of it as a punishment. Treats in the crate worked pretty well, but none of our dogs were fearful of the crate already.
Violet
@Josie:
John, this is great advice. I have some friends who have a JRT and this is how they trained her. Now she goes to her crate at night and even when she wants to rest. But they gave her no choice after her nightly walk for quite some time until it was second nature.
shortstop
@Violet: That’s the thing — you have to be perfectly consistent even when you’re tired or cranky or hurting or not in the mood. It’s the hardest part of training, but you can’t get results without it.
NovShmozKaPop
That’s OK – in my coop’s laundry room a few days ago someone … or something … took a tremendous poop in a communal laundry basket. I’m hoping it wasn’t a vengeful human poop, for if it is we have odder characters here than I had ever suspected.
Violet
@shortstop:
Yep, and since Rosie is older and obviously doesn’t like the crate already, it’ll probably take more work and a longer time. Doesn’t mean it can’t be done. But consistency is key. Rosie goes for her walk on her leash. Rosie goes straight into her crate when some comes back in the house and gets a wonderful treat she doesn’t get anywhere else but the crate, like the hot dog piece. Eventually, post-walk=crate and crate=yummy treat, so post-walk crate=good, happy place.
Earl
John,
We have a rescue that was terrified of his kennel. He was so scared that he actually bit me when I gently pushed him in the 3rd or 4th night we had him. What worked for us was food — the only place Linus gets his food or treats is in the kennel. In our house you now can’t say kennel out loud or Linus charges into it so hard that it rocks backward and dents the wall. He also charges in if anybody says breakfast or post tooth brushing to wait for his reward. And no treats anywhere else ever for the first year, though this rule has since been relaxed. This might work for you. I think it took him less than two weeks to decide his kennel was the best place ever.
Jay
“vengeance shits”
This should be a new category for posts around here.
bystander
Safely archive the blog posts and save all the pictures, John. I predict there’s gonna be a bestseller coming out of this some day.
Rosie: The Jack Russel Terrorist
Antichrist
Have you ever thought of collecting all of your stories and sending along to dog whisperer?
Han's Solo
@Earl: That is exactly my technique as well. Every night at dinner time the two young dogs eat in their crates. At first I did this because my Cockalier Henry is a resource guarder, but I kept doing it because it actually makes things much, much easier for everyone.
All I have to say is, “In your house,” and the two young uns sprint to their crates. During the day I’ll leave the crates open and they will often rest there. Far from hating their crates, they love them.
The only drawback is I don’t have room for two more crates for the older dogs. They, too, love their crates. Indeed, they’ll often squeeze into Sookie’s crate, even though they are a bit large for it.
Here is sookie, from BJ, several months ago. She just turned one year old yesterday.
https://balloon-juice.com/2010/11/04/early-morning-open-thread-simple-joys/#comments
taylormattd
@Twinky P: Jesus christ, and I thought the FDL PUMA trolls were bad.
taylormattd
@Jay: Lol. Agreed.
I actually have a friend who, when his well-off high school girlfriend dumped him, sneaked onto her property and proceeded to take a shit right and the end of the swimming pool diving board.
I would consider that to be a “vengence shit” as well.
Josie
This is Emma the pug. She doesn’t look difficult, but looks can be deceiving.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49146863@N03/5600997829/in/set-72157626456614758/
boss bitch
Lyndon Johnson, for all of his flaws, was the last one that comes to mind that was really effective at this sort of “Congressional leadership”.
EVERY GOD DAMNED PRESIDENT COMPROMISES. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE.
For all his flaws? I’m shocked that you actually praised someone with flaws. that shows growth.
Do you live in this country? you seem to have a thing for dictator like leadership.
Jan
Hi John,
I hope this doesn’t make you mad at me —
I think she did what she did because she was afraid and anxious. She knows she’s not pleasing you and she’s miserable about it.
Find her another home. If you keep her, don’t bathe her so often. (My vets — a practice — told me that too many baths make a dog’s skin itchy and uncomfortable,and they’re miserable. They said not to bathe a dog more than twice a year or so.)
Twice I’ve had animals (a cat and a dog) that were difficult for one reason or another. I was “nice” to them, but it was with clenched teeth. I had favorites, and they must have known it wasn’t them.
Both have been dead for years and I still feel guilty about it.
Find Rosie another home.
fraught
Cole is just too neurotic for this dog. He’s driving her crazy with his love/hate, push/pull nonsense. Rosie doesn’t deserve this cleanfreak for an owner and someone should go in and remove this poor creature from this hellish place she’s been living in for too long. It’s been going on for too long and from all his posts here about his personal life, it is clear that only a precious few living organisms can co-exist with Cole. FREE ROSIE.
Ghanima Atreides
@Han’s Solo: its supposed to be a 5 or 6 foot privacy fence. That should hold her.
Although jacks can climb trees and metal crosswire kennel fence just fine.
They are also excellent diggers, and have no fear of tunnelling and underground work….earthworks we call it.
Thus jackpot go-to-ground in the Terrior Trials.
My vet friend says that most problem dogs in America can be fixed with adequate exercise.
TooManyJens
@boss bitch: But did LBJ vengeance shit?
Come to think of it, he probably did.
Ghanima Atreides
@Jan: she did what she did BECAUSE SHE IS A FUCKING JACK RUSSELL you retard. can’t you read?
its what ALL JRTs do if they don’t get enough exercise and discipline.
JRTs are BRED to be stubborn. When we did field trials with my jack he had to wear a collar that could be picked up by a metal detector in case he went to ground and marked. They have to be dug up because they wont leave their prey.
If you are not the pack leader with JRTs bad things can happen.
I heard a story of a couple that bought a swank motor home to go to terrior trials with their two jacks. The jacks became so aggressive and territorial about the RV the couple couldn’t even get into it.
Off to rescue.
its like trying to train a sight hound not to chase.
there are instinctual, hereditary traits BRED into working dogs.
it might be that Cole and Rosie are just not a good pairing.
But there is nothing wrong with her– she is a typical jack.
shortstop
@TooManyJens: He most certainly did. In a bizarre flexing of his alpha muscles, he often made staffers come into the bathroom while he was pooping. And they did it.
Ghanima Atreides
@John Cole: and its not vengence. she just doesn’t care what you want, because what she wants is more important, and JRTs don’t actually plan ahead, because they are impulsive.
Ginny and Guesley have been disciplined to respect your mom and dad as pack leaders, because they are not rehomed dogs.
The best advice I can give is the fence. And perhaps obedience course training.
Give her some kind of job. She is a working dog.
MattR
@Ghanima Atreides: You really don’t have the ability to communicate normally with people, do you?
2liberal
If it was me Rosie would go to the dog pound. Find a nice one if you can. If you can’t, then that is fate. A dog is a dumb animal not a person.
Just Some Fuckhead
John, have you thought about trying to crate Rosie at night?
gogol's wife
@Josie:
Sweetie!
Frank
Hey John…can I send my adult kids on vacation with Romney as well…they leave crap on the floor too ;-)
shaun
@John Cole: Ah yes, when all else fails, call someone an idiot. Coming from you, a blogger whom I deeply respect, I suppose that is a compliment.
shortstop
@Josie: Very cute. A few pugs are really hardasses! We fostered one who daily tried to kick the ass of our submissive Boberman, who outweighed her by three to one. The pug was perfectly friendly and malleable with all people, however. We ended up helping to place her in a house where she could reign as Only Dog, Queen of the Manse, and by all reports, everyone is getting along very well.
FastEddie
Maybe she can go live on a farm, where she can run and play all the livelong day…..
Let this be a warning to anyone considering adopting a JRT. Those dogs are nuts.
birthmarker
@Just Some Fuckhead: This is either classic snark, or you commented without bothering to read John’s post. If it is the former, hat’s off to you.
Athenae
If it’s any consolation, ferrets do this also. We had kitchen restoration work done recently and confined our three beasties to one room. Bucky retaliated by using a spot under the bookcase as a latrine, and Riot took out his anger by trying to eat his sister.
Now they’re back in the bigger space, and they’re all, “La de dah, everything’s fine.”
Pets are brats.
A.
Paul in KY
@Han’s Solo: ‘a fart that could straighten public hair’! I liked that turn of phrase.
Original Lee
@Han’s Solo: Have you tried brewer’s yeast tablets as a dog food supplement? They will still fart, but it will smell a whole lot better.
Poopyman
@birthmarker: You’re new around here, aren’t you.
Got nothing to add that hasn’t been said, but@Cole:
John Waters would approve.
Paul in KY
@WereBear: I’m of that school too. Cats don’t mind being alone for hours (some of them prefer you not to be around). Dogs are pack animals & want to be around (even if they are low animal on the totem pole).
BattleCat
Sounds like of like Afghanistan.
Rosie doesn’t like going in the crate, you keep putting her in the crate… and when you finally can’t put her in the crate anymore, Shit Happens.
Have you considered not putting her in a crate?
shortstop
@Original Lee: A tablespoon of plain yogurt every day also seems to help with the gut flora and thus the flatulence.
Bex
@cckids: Have you tried a litter box or some sort of shallow container? Since your dog is so polite he might go for it. Then you could move it slightly to keep it out of your way. You probably wouldn’t even have to fill it.
ErikdaRed
This is hands-down the funniest post I’ve read on this blog.
Sorry John, but I just can’t keep from laughing.
Ash Can
OK, this post, and many of the comments, had me in stitches. At least the carpet cleaner was right there and ready to go.
BTW, did you know that if you took that little pile in the picture, put it in a paper bag, and set it on fire, it would look just like a hard copy of the Paul Ryan/GOP budget?
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@Jay:
i am thinking one has to be grateful jack russell terrorists have no idea how to execute the upper decker.
MattR
@Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal: Yet.
Katie5
It looks like carpet. Have you thought of wood floors? Not now, necessarily, but as part of a long term reno plan. Having elderly pets (and shedding pets) I’ve learned the value of wood over carpets and rugs.
John T
You have no moral responsibility to endure an animal that can’t adapt to a human environment. You didn’t bring it into this world, it’s not your child. It’s just an animal. Animals bite and shit and move unpredictably and “misbehave” — because that’s what animals do.
You must be a masochist, you love this crap. Otherwise you would have gotten rid of Rosie months ago.
Just Some Fuckhead
John, before you go trying to crate her again with all the attendant frustrations, why don’t you take a dump in her water bowl right in front of her. Then just leave it floating for a day or two.
KANFSU
“[JRTs] require firm, consistent discipline. They are extremely intelligent, continue to test their limits throughout their life. More often than not, train their owners before the owner knows what has happened! This ability to train their owners can include displays of aggressive behavior. Their assertive nature must be understood and handled properly!”
Rosie is doing dominance behaviors. Ask a JRT pro about it. Lily is submissive and low energy. Don’t give up yet.
JRT Rescue Info Page
Ghanima Atreides
@MattR: at least i know what a reacharound is.
;)
Ghanima Atreides
@KANFSU: like i said, John’s parents JRTs have given him an unreasonable expectation of jack behavior. Ginny and Guesly were raised in their pack.
Rosie is being rehomed.
John needs to become Rosie’s pack leader or it won’t work.
Lily looks like a shibu inu/chihuahua cross to me. shiba inu’s were bred to be eaten and only attach to one person. i dont know what chihuahuas were bred to do.
But Rosie was bred for the Hunt. Her ancestors rode and ran all day, and were dropped into Reynaud’s earth when he went to ground to bolt him.
View hallooo!
Just Some Fuckhead
@Ghanima Atreides:
You are right about this. Unfortunately, too many “liberal” dog people think you can reason with dogs like people and so they eschew or decry basic dogpack management behavior.
Tackle her John, bite her throat and stay on top of her until she goes perfectly still (make sure she’s on her back at her most vulnerable). Then get up slowly. If she moves, reassert. Continue this until you can get up and move around the house without her moving an inch.
Then release her with a command and reward her. Repeat this maneuver every coupla days until she realizes yer boss dog. After she submits to your authority you will literally be able to point to wherever you want her to go (like the crate) and she will go.
Susan
I used to have a little bitch who would do that in the middle of my bed when she was mad at me. She died of old age and I changed my bed many times before then because somehow, I used to piss her off regularly.
MattR
@Ghanima Atreides: Like with most things, you can understand the words that make up the definition but you don’t understand how it applies in real life.
Ghanima Atreides
@MattR: oh for cripes sake.
A reacharound is getting reamed from the back while being diddled from the front.
Its a classic libertarian move executed on unsuspecting audiences of juicers.
MattR
@Ghanima Atreides: Or a move of love and respect during anal sex (same or opposite sex). But of course you have already decided that your initial interpretation is the only possible correct one and that the phrase can have only the meaning that you ascribe to it.
Ghanima Atreides
@Just Some Fuckhead: yup, but i reccommend just scruffing her and pinning her. the throat biting puts Johns face awful close to her teeth.
Cole should be able to say “kennel” and she runs inside.
Leave the kennel open so she can go in and den up in the day if shes tired.
But she needs to get tired.
These dogs were bred for endurance, bravery, aggression and stubborness.
Nice-doggie ppl should not own working dogs or giant breeds.
Or horses.
With horses its not safe for either horse or rider if you arent the alpha mare.
Ghanima Atreides
@MattR: /sigh
its the only meaning that applies HERE.
Freddie and EDK diddling the juicers from the front while reaming them from behind.
MattR
@Ghanima Atreides: I have no idea what you mean then? What are you implying the goal of the diddling is? Distraction? That’s nonsensical (like you are going to be distracted from anal rape by a little manual masturbation) and not how the word is used.
Ghanima Atreides
@MattR: AMG you are thick.
Diddling in the EDK/Freddie case means agreeing with juicers on some superficial cosmetic issue while they ram that good ol’ free market/civil liberty butt-plug up America’s ass.
cbear
Looking closely at the picture, there seems to be a slightly yellowish tint to the deuce. I wonder if she used a little corn for texture?
MattR
@Ghanima Atreides: I know what you consider the diddling. But why the diddling? Why are they bothering with the reacharound instead of just ramming it up our ass? Why are you unable to answer a simple question?
Irony Abounds
Cole: get rid of the God damn dog. She is making your life miserable. And before any jumps on me for being anti-dog, aside from the fact that I have two dogs from the pound myself, think just for a moment if I described a situation where the human was making the dog’s life a living hell. The dog nuts would be screaming that the human MUST find a new home for the poor mistreated dog. You, as a mistreated human, should be given at least the same consideration. It isn’t necessary or healthy for people to turn themselves into pretzels trying to make a dog happy. Christ almighty.
Ghanima Atreides
@MattR:
Judas said it too. for clicks. its all about the clicks.
Its the doomed, desperate search for a sane conservative/libertarian. Like Cole tole meh once upon a time, “EDK has some good ideas”
Where? He never showed them here, never defended them here.
I think he just diddled Cole too….for pageviews.
NovShmozKaPop
@TooManyJens:
Perhaps, perhaps not, but he did pee in the sink.
Ghanima Atreides
@Irony Abounds: i’ve had a jack. Trust meh, Rosie is perfectly happy. She is not miserable.
She does what she wants.
honus
@David: exactly. It is a fact that any dog can live outside even in the harshest conditions if it has some shelter and is well fed, and any dog that would do that to my carpet would.
carrolla
Do you ever read GET FUZZY? Your household seems very similar!
Rainy Day
Dogs like dog beds with the walls — they like having something to push against. If you have space on your bed, you could put a dog bed on the side of your bed for Rosie. Make her lay in it about an hour before everyone goes to sleep and pet her while she’s in, so she stays. Make it very fluffy and comfy in her bed so she won’t want to get out it. If she is able to be with you and the other critters on the big bed, she won’t feel left out, and you won’t have to worry about kicking her in your sleep. We’ve done this with our newly adopted dogs (who don’t yet feel secure and tend to roam) and with our very old dogs (who are much more sensitive to movement), and it’s worked very well.