• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

No one could have predicted…

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

People are complicated. Love is not.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Everybody saw this coming.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

This blog will pay for itself.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / What have I done to deserve this?

What have I done to deserve this?

by DougJ|  June 14, 20111:09 am| 53 Comments

This post is in: We Are All Mayans Now

FacebookTweetEmail

From my RSS reader:

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « You Say Coke, I say Caine, You Say John, I Say Wayne, I Don’t Wanna Be the President of America
Next Post: When Massive Sockpuppets Collide »

Reader Interactions

53Comments

  1. 1.

    danimal

    June 14, 2011 at 1:15 am

    Homeless? Didn’t Brooks precede you in Europe by a few weeks. You would think he could find a home on one of the two continents.

    Maybe if we sent him to Asia…I hear Kandahar is nice, with plenty of cheap housing available.

  2. 2.

    trollhattan

    June 14, 2011 at 1:17 am

    Thus, FSM invented rum.

    Bobo certainly understands “inadequacy.”

  3. 3.

    Suffern ACE

    June 14, 2011 at 1:18 am

    I don’t think he has the rank to register the protest, in the military branch that is the pundit class.

  4. 4.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    June 14, 2011 at 1:20 am

    Skimming through the column, Brooks mocks solar panels and calls for a party that would seek out ideas that would lead to solutions. Why hasn’t anyone thought of ideas and solutions?

    He calls it Hamiltonian, I’m gonna call it Costanzian– “The Human Fund: Money for People”

  5. 5.

    xochi

    June 14, 2011 at 1:28 am

    Translation: Why do I have to reap this whirlwind, too?

  6. 6.

    RandyH

    June 14, 2011 at 1:51 am

    A great song by the Petshop Boys. What have I done to deserve this?

    (This edition was done live so it may be different than your favorite studio recording.)

  7. 7.

    Citizen Alan

    June 14, 2011 at 1:51 am

    I still say Brooks has the Innsmouth look.

  8. 8.

    Elizabelle

    June 14, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Nah gonna read DavidBrooks.

    Wouldn’t be prudent.

  9. 9.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    June 14, 2011 at 1:56 am

    wow, that he could declare himself “homeless” even in the abstruse political sense, shows a deep hobophobia on his part. more importantly who gives a fuck whether he likes it or not. or whether his personal ennui reveals once again, nostalgia for an old guard elitist conservatism that he in fact pushed towards the margins.

    if only someone would satisfy david brooks like applebee’s cheesy corn? won’t some one think of david brooks?

    on a side note, i actually found myself inside a real and unctious applebees recently, did you know these motherfuckers ruined one of the all time great drinks, cadillacmargaritawithoutthetrash, by adding, you guessed it, trash. seriously a marnier/cointreau type liquer and tequila iced and poured neat. they fuck it up with flavors ice and god knows what the fuck else.

  10. 10.

    Jennifer

    June 14, 2011 at 1:56 am

    Inadequate? Unpossible, after they all supported the Ryan plan to kill the old people, which Bobo assured us all was a deeply serious game-changer.

    (Note: I agree it was a game-changer…but it changed the game in a different way than Bobo would have liked.)

  11. 11.

    Mnemosyne

    June 14, 2011 at 2:00 am

    @RandyH:

    I dunno, I think this one is more applicable to David Brooks.

  12. 12.

    Yutsano

    June 14, 2011 at 2:02 am

    You read Bobo. There is no one to blame here but yourself.

  13. 13.

    Loneoak

    June 14, 2011 at 2:09 am

    My friend writes this tumblr: Shut Up, David Brooks. It’s often very funny.

  14. 14.

    dollared

    June 14, 2011 at 2:11 am

    I think you’ll find the article on Hamilton in Conservapedia very enlightening. Did you know that Alexander Hamilton was the only CIA operative who saw Mohammed Atta meet with Saddam’s people in Prague?

    And that he was the man who first realized that the greatest danger the Federal Government could pose to the Republic would be to run a fiscal surplus?

  15. 15.

    dollared

    June 14, 2011 at 2:12 am

    @Loneoak: OT, sorta, but what is a Tumblr? Isn’t it just a blog?

  16. 16.

    Wannabe Speechwriter

    June 14, 2011 at 2:14 am

    I can never quite decide-is David Brooks just dumb or is this all an act?

  17. 17.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 2:16 am

    We need more beer blogging, how is the home brew going guys?

  18. 18.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 2:24 am

    @Cliff in NH:

    Handy tip to homebrewers:

    Don’t use five star PBW without some sort of safety glasses when aggressively using a brush cleaning carboys. (or even pulling the brush out gently)

    from the MSDS:
    EYE CONTACT: Irritant, prolonged contact may damage eye.
    SKIN CONTACT: Irritant, prolonged contact will cause redness and blistering.

    Take a shower if exposed.

  19. 19.

    Villago Delenda Est

    June 14, 2011 at 2:24 am

    “Lash out” all you want to, dumbass.

    No one with functioning synapses gives a flaming fuck about you or your dipshit opinions.

    The sooner you’re waylaid by highwaymen looking for lupins, the better, BoBo.

  20. 20.

    RandyH

    June 14, 2011 at 2:26 am

    @RandyH:

    Now we are talking about Bobo here. I would suggest that this is a MUCH better match: I’m With Stupid which was originally done as a tribute to Tony Blair’s relationship with George W Bush.
    (also a live recording.)

  21. 21.

    trollhattan

    June 14, 2011 at 2:30 am

    @Cliff in NH:

    Don’t use five star PBW without some sort of safety glasses when aggressively using a brush cleaning carboys. (or even pulling the brush out gently)

    Pabst Brew Wibbon?

  22. 22.

    RandyH

    June 14, 2011 at 2:33 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    I got the link to your name wrong.

    Now we are talking about Bobo here. I would suggest that this is a MUCH better match: I’m With Stupid which was originally done as a tribute to Tony Blair’s relationship with George W Bush.
    (also a live recording.)

    Randy +5

  23. 23.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 2:37 am

    @trollhattan:

    Powdered Brewery Wash

    Don’t inhale the powder and fer dogs sake keep the stuff off your skin and outta your eyes, I’m off to the shower after I finish this glass of Apfelwein‎

    http://www.google.com/search?q=EdWort's+Apfelwein

  24. 24.

    blackfrancis

    June 14, 2011 at 2:40 am

    No one realizes that the Stanley Cup final is going to a game seven? No thread for that since the Crosbys are done for the season?

    Bah.

  25. 25.

    Villago Delenda Est

    June 14, 2011 at 2:43 am

    @blackfrancis:

    I’m afraid it’s not important. It’s not like it’s the National Curling Finals or something, ya know?

  26. 26.

    Aqualad08

    June 14, 2011 at 2:51 am

    He’s homeless…he’s got no forwarding address…he’s homeless…

    Does this mean he’s going to eat garbage rather than spew it forth upon the unwashed masses?

  27. 27.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 3:40 am

    @Cliff in NH:

    Ahh, that’s much better, a Clean nice smelling dog, and a non burning face.

    2 fer one you could say.

    Also too, why is it that china keeps raising reserve requirements for banks, but we won’t?

  28. 28.

    Lysana

    June 14, 2011 at 3:48 am

    @blackfrancis: I realize it. And man, am I glad of it. Go Bruins!

  29. 29.

    Bruce S

    June 14, 2011 at 3:54 am

    I’m convinced that the great Hamiltonian National Greatness scribe, David Brooks, who wrote the immortal words – “When I interviewed people during the 2000 campaign I found many voters preferred Democratic policies to Republican ones. But they didn’t trust Al Gore because they thought he looked down on them. They felt Bush could come to their barbershop and fit right in” – can find his stride and make it through the coming election cycle.

  30. 30.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 3:56 am

    @Cliff in NH:

    China:

    The increase will raise the ratio to a record 21.5 percent for China’s biggest banks and lock up funds that could otherwise be lent out.

    US:

    6-10-11
    Federal Reserve Bank of New York President William C. Dudley today said regulators shouldn’t “overdo it” on bank rules and Fed examiners shouldn’t be “too tough” on banks.
    __
    Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM)’s chief executive officer, pressed Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke in a public forum June 7 on whether overzealous regulation of the U.S. banking system may be endangering economic growth. Regulators worldwide are devising new capital requirements following unprecedented government bailouts of financial firms during 2008’s credit crisis.
    __
    “I have a great fear someone’s going to try to write a book in 20 years, and the book is going to talk about all the things that we did in the middle of the crisis to actually slow down recovery,” Dimon told the Fed chairman during a conference of bankers in Atlanta.
    __
    Most SIFIs are better prepared to hold 2 percent of extra capital on top of the 7 percent minimum — for a total of 9 percent — than they are to hold 3 percent, according to a May 6 research note by Bank of America’s Guy Moszkowski.
    __
    “U.S. SIFIs appear to be managing towards 8-9 percent” of core tier-1 capital under Basel III rules, Moszkowski wrote in the May note. “Some investors fear the U.S. may also implement tougher capital targets of 10 percent or higher. We believe this scenario is unlikely.”

  31. 31.

    Sly

    June 14, 2011 at 3:57 am

    I always thought it fitting that Brooks was a Hamilton fanboy.
    Nobody really liked him, either.

  32. 32.

    R-Jud

    June 14, 2011 at 4:16 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    The sooner you’re waylaid by highwaymen looking for lupins, the better, BoBo.

    David Bore, David Bore, wading through the ditch
    David Bore, David Bore, wading through the ditch
    He sneers at the poor
    Then he fellates the rich
    David Bore
    David Bore
    Stupid bitch

  33. 33.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    June 14, 2011 at 4:18 am

    @dollared: Tumblr is just blogging that has following and reblogging (like Twitter) and liking (like Facebook). In other words, it’s the same ol’ shit with a stupid name and hot new media branding. It annoys me that it’s become so popular.

  34. 34.

    befuggled

    June 14, 2011 at 5:17 am

    @Cliff in NH: I haven’t brewed anything for a couple of years now for various reasons, but I’m an oxyclean/starsan kind of guy myself.

  35. 35.

    BD of MN

    June 14, 2011 at 6:37 am

    I’m with Cliff, nothing better to clean up the homebrew equipment than Star-San, although I can’t remember ever needing to take a shower after spilling it on myself. I regularly mix it up hot and use a pump to clean out everything, including tap lines…

  36. 36.

    harlana

    June 14, 2011 at 6:48 am

    Well, Morning Ho is discussing this Brooks’ protest with all appropriate gravitas

  37. 37.

    Linda

    June 14, 2011 at 6:50 am

    I’ve found a new way to enjoy Brooks’ columns. Don’t actually read them, which fills me with a strange combination of boredom and fury. Instead, go straight to the comments calling him out for his fake reasonabelness/centrism and general bullshit. Alas, nobody commented yet, so everybody else is figuring the same thing I am.

  38. 38.

    Steve M.

    June 14, 2011 at 7:48 am

    It’s actually not as bad as his usual bilge. It’s the same old unrealistic somewhat-to-the-left-of-the-extreme-right agenda he’s always pushing (cut corporate taxes and fund community colleges!), but he doesn’t drone on and on about character and social capital and all that.

  39. 39.

    John Weiss

    June 14, 2011 at 7:49 am

    @Wannabe Speechwriter: Let me help: apply Occam’s Razor. Dumb.

  40. 40.

    arguingwithsignposts

    June 14, 2011 at 8:18 am

    @Steve M.:

    It’s actually not as bad as his usual bilge.

    Damning with faint praise.

  41. 41.

    Ken

    June 14, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Doug, you really need to disable your RSS feed if this is the kind of stuff that pops up.

  42. 42.

    aretino

    June 14, 2011 at 8:40 am

    I don’t get it. Is a homeless Hamiltonian classical or quantum?

  43. 43.

    Superking

    June 14, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Reading most of the column, the only real problems are that he tries to create a class of people who are called “Hamiltonians,” and he fails to connect the dots. So, he identifies all the economic stagnation and decline that began in the early 1970s and has continued through today, with a brief period of respite in the 1990s, but then fails to realize that this has been caused by conservative economic policy. Seriously, what happened 30 years ago? Reagan took office. What happened in the early 1970s? Nixon. What happened in the 1990s? Clinton. And in the 2000s? Bush. The economic problems we have are due to conservatives running the show. His prescriptions end up looking a lot like Democratic policy proposals, although he says they’re coming from the Tea Party.

  44. 44.

    Suffern ACE

    June 14, 2011 at 9:54 am

    @Superking:

    His prescriptions end up looking a lot like Democratic policy proposals, although he says they’re coming from the Tea Party.

    Didn’t Bachman say in the debate or somewhere recently that the tea people are really democrats? Maybe Brooks found her assertion convincing.

  45. 45.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 10:05 am

    @BD of MN:

    the brush splattered it all over my face and it gives a nice warm irritated feeling that just doesn’t go away till its washed off, the shower was overkill, but the dog stunk so bad I went with it.

    Now molly is nice and clean and nice smelling (till she rolls in something stinky again) (I also found another tick – in her ear – 4 ticks today for her 5 for me)

  46. 46.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 10:17 am

    oh, and I think I had the stuff mixed up stronger than it should have been, it was a saved batch and it had evaporated down quite a bit in addition to being mixed too strong in the first place, all the remainder is going to be used for misc cleaning before being dumped (stingy of me to save the stuff this long but oh well)

  47. 47.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 14, 2011 at 10:19 am

    @aretino: Is the corresponding Langrangian homeless too?

  48. 48.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 10:39 am

    @BD of MN:

    Woops, don’t mix up (confuse) PBW (uber-cleaner) with star-san (surface sanitizer) Very different things.

  49. 49.

    karen marie

    June 14, 2011 at 10:59 am

    @Cliff in NH: I hope Molly has been inoculated against Lyme Disease! I don’t know why but word is this is going to be a particularly bad year for ticks.

    The only place I regularly take my Lucy that has ticks is her Sunday play group. The first couple weeks I found several ticks on her after coming home, but none since. I assume whatever tick population hasn’t already been carried off on a dog is going after the big dogs who are there for the first hour.

  50. 50.

    themann1086

    June 14, 2011 at 11:41 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: I love you guys :D

  51. 51.

    dollared

    June 14, 2011 at 11:45 am

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: Thanks. I’m kind of amused that technology is so mature that silly features move millions of minds – we’re at the sugar-coated cornflakes stage….

  52. 52.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 14, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    @themann1086: Thanks!
    ETA: Lagrangian not Langrangian

  53. 53.

    Cliff in NH

    June 14, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    @Cliff in NH:

    20 hours later and the thin skin around my eyes is still sensitive/hot, Don’t mix PBW strong and get it on sensitive skin.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • HumboldtBlue on Late Night Open Thread: Sam Bigly Fraud Bankman-Fried, Still Grinding His Grifts (Mar 30, 2023 @ 12:34am)
  • SpaceUnit on Late Night Open Thread: Sam Bigly Fraud Bankman-Fried, Still Grinding His Grifts (Mar 30, 2023 @ 12:31am)
  • Steeplejack on Late Night Open Thread: Sam Bigly Fraud Bankman-Fried, Still Grinding His Grifts (Mar 30, 2023 @ 12:30am)
  • Shalimar on I’ll Never Get Used to It (Mar 30, 2023 @ 12:29am)
  • eclare on Late Night Open Thread: Sam Bigly Fraud Bankman-Fried, Still Grinding His Grifts (Mar 30, 2023 @ 12:25am)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup coming up on April 4!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!