Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. keep building.

Please don’t feed the bears.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Maybe you would prefer that we take Joelle’s side in ALL CAPS?

Even though I know this is a bad idea, I’m off to do it anyway!

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Books are my comfort food!

Optimism opens the door to great things.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

You are here: Home / Halfway home on Ohio repeal

Halfway home on Ohio repeal

by | 56 Comments

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Pictured are the We Are Ohio folks at Netroots, with the final signature tally behind their heads there. 714,000.

The goal was 500k, so that went well. Now the battle over ballot language begins, and then, of course, we have to win the repeal vote. Thanks to all the BJ readers and commenters who signed or circulated a petition.

Jordyn Rush (the woman on the left) is the deputy director of operations for We Are Ohio and she approached me yesterday to thank Balloon Juice for promoting the cause. She’s smiling today.

One other quick observation: John Cole is going to have to appear publicly at a political event, or post a picture, or throw up a line-drawing portrait, or something.

Every single Balloon Juice reader I have spoken to asks, first thing: “Where is John Cole? Is he here?”

Reader Interactions

56Comments

  1. 1.

    Zam

    Perhaps we should get a bunch of billboards with “Who is John Cole?” up all over the country.

  2. 2.

    Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    “Who is John Cole?”

    I LIKE IT. It should be a caption for the Tunch photo swag, doncha think?

  3. 3.

    gbear

    I’m hoping to make it to Britt’s. Promise I won’t ask anything about Cole.

    edit: My question is Who is that hunky bear to the right?

    edit 2: Please don’t tell me he’s Cole.

  4. 4.

    Kay

    “Who is John Cole?”

    Bruinkid from Daily Kos asked after DougJ.

    I’ll keep a count and do a final tally :)

  5. 5.

    jl

    I thought it was conclusively established that ‘John Cole’ is a fictional character, created in one of DougJ’s most successful long run spoofs.

    I was very sad when I learned that John Cole does not exist in real reality. And I wonder, who really owns those cute pets?

    The truth will out, sooner or later.

    If Cole does exist, the best we can hope for is a rude rebuff in a post today. Maybe he (or is it a he, Jane Coale?) will put a graphic of a scrawled X.

    Tip to the tentatively postulated real ‘John Cole’, if you don’t have the X notarized, it will only make things worse.

  6. 6.

    Kay

    I’m hoping to make it to Britt’s.

    Good. I’ll be hungry, as usual, so you and I can eat rather than drink.

  7. 7.

    dollared

    Great news on Ohio, Kay. A series of wins like this (and the Wisconsin recalls) could really alter the SCLM’s narrative heading into 2012.

    And, of course, these would be major substantive improvements for the people of Ohio and Wisconsin. Does that matter :-)?

    BTW, don’t forget to take the “no more Johnsonville brats” pledge on their website. They’re the #1 donor to Randy “Bed” Hopper, the Wisconsin Senator with the dual household issue.

  8. 8.

    Andrew

    I think it should be obvious by now that John Cole is actually a lesbian from Syria.

  11. 11.

    Poopyman

    BTW, I got the mythical Cole a NN Teeshirt. Largest they had, so I hope it’s big enough.

    And there’s no proof Cole isn’t here, now is there?

  12. 12.

    kdaug

    John Cole is going to have to appear publicly at a political event, or post a picture, or throw up a line-drawing portrait, or something.

    Ye shall know Him by His beautiful feet.

    Other than that, he’s a fat, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, ~6ft, mid-40ish, clumsy and comically self-injuring dude who looks like his sister, and who doesn’t want his picture taken.

    Why? Because he’s fat. And he might have a mop. And the clothing bit is iffy. And he might fall off something taking the picture. And Tunch will hate the whole thing and not be inclined to suppress the displeasure.

    In all, I think Cole’s doing us a favor staying “behind-the-scenes”.

  13. 13.

    kindness

    In truth, John is actually a Gay girl blogging from Damascus under a pseudonym of a W Virginia guy.

  14. 14.

    13th Generation

    C’mon, we all know Cole doesn’t really exist.
    Think of him as the “Sara Lee” or “Betty Crocker” of bloggers.

  17. 17.

    jl

    @kdaug – June 17, 2011 | 1:26 pm

    And from evidence available from posted video clips, talks like Ben Stein, the pundit.

    Let’s fact it folks, the only evidence we have that points to a actual identity for this supposed ‘John Cole’ is that he is really Ben Stein.

    These are deep waters, very deep.

  18. 18.

    cleek

    John Cole is the fictional protagonist in an novel called “Catlas Shrugged”. it’s a philosophical tale of a man and his cat. the cat comes to realize that it is the center of the world and is therefore superior to the man who tends to it. but the human rebels. the fight for dominance is epic.

  19. 19.

    gbear

    Think of him as the “Sara Lee” or “Betty Crocker” of bloggers.

    Except Betty Crocker gets upgraded now and then. Modern Betty Crocker would never admit to liking The Grateful Dead.

  21. 21.

    Scott P.

    If Cole does exist, the best we can hope for is a rude rebuff in a post today. Maybe he (or is it a he, Jane Coale?) will put a graphic of a scrawled X.
    Tip to the tentatively postulated real ‘John Cole’, if you don’t have the X notarized, it will only make things worse.

    We’ll also need the long-form birth certificate.

  22. 22.

    jfxgillis

    kay:

    Oh! I have great idea for a book.

    A bunch of assholes run around spouting adolescent quasi-philosophical bullshit, and the key plot point is answering the question “Who is John Cole?”

    I think I can get 1,000 pages out of it.

  23. 23.

    jl

    Forgot to add:

    I am very pleased the Balloon Juice (whatever it really is and whoever is really behind it) sent Kay to Netroots.

    I hope Kay files as many reports as she can, and that they can in a small way counter the worthless propaganda coming out of the media.

    So, thanks again, Kay, I really appreciate that you are reporting on the conference.

  24. 24.

    Rommie

    If John Cole writes a few-hundred page scree about “Who is John Cole” he wins the Internet. Sadly, I don’t think he’s insane enough to try it.

  26. 26.

    martha

    Kay, I’m sorry I’ll miss the meet-up. I was up in MSP earlier this week for business, but am back home in Fitzwalkerstan. Sigh.

  27. 27.

    Yutsano

    I have lost my girlish figure and don’t like how I look, plus I have a face for radio.

    Not buying it. We’ve seen your sister, and you told us you look just like her. Nice try though.

  28. 28.

    RossInDetroit

    I don’t like having my photo taken either, and only tolerate family pix. I broke the rule last summer when Mark Frauenfelder wanted a shot of me at Maker Faire Detroit with one of my inventions. If I’d known it would end up on Boing Boing I’d have run and hid. I look like a dope.

    John, on the other hand, is probably Banksy having us on.

  30. 30.

    Suffern ACE

    I guess I’d always just assumed that John Cole was the Jeopardy answer to “Whatever happened to Stephanie Zimbalist”.

  33. 33.

    Yutsano

    Unless Cole has a side job we don’t know about …

    It would, as always, be irresponsible not to speculate.

  35. 35.

    RossInDetroit

    I’ve always assumed that John Cole looked like a grown up Charlie Brown.

    Okay, that’s stuck in my head now. It’ll do I guess, with the addition of pet hair and scarred shins to the image.

  36. 36.

    TaMara (BHF)

    John Cole is a swash buckling rabble-rouser, a blond Johnny Depp, a rounder, younger Redford (in his Sundance days)…at least that’s how I picture him when I’m alone at night.

  37. 37.

    piratedan

    I grok you JC, us fat guys generally don’t push for camera time, maybe a tasteful profile shot (ala Hitchcock) will satisfy the poofsters, or perhaps a shoulders up…. I can attest to the sentiment that pictures of you are stirring an X-Files type of “the truth is out there” kind of movement amongst those of us that you allow to comment here and share our thoughts amongst those similarly minded.

  38. 38.

    scav

    @Roger Moore: Funny, I was just thinking that my mental image of JC is rather fuzzy, primarily because he is entirely swathed in bandages and casts. We could combine the two images through for further marketing opportunities. A paper-based “Pin the Cast on John Cole” for the kiddies and a magnetic refrigerator “Dress Naked John Cole: with Casts and Mop!” for the adults. Magnetic Pets could be a side-line.

  43. 43.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    long form birth certificate would seem to be in order here, perhaps right before balloon juice special forces tunch team #6 takes out david brooks in his safe house in bethesdabad.

    my personal theory is that john cole is actually an alternate personality developed by the shooter on the grassy knoll, after experiencing a buzz-aldren like psychological break after the warren commission doomed him to mythical obscurity, and the imaginations of conspiracy theorists. when the cole personality emerged, it was a pastiche of popular late 70s early 80s cultural archetypes, loosely tied together by the grassy knoll shooter’s affinity for the garfield comic strip.

  47. 47.

    Off Colfax

    I can see the cover for Catlas Shrugged. It would be the great horror to all the cats who were once fortunate to own a human…

    AN EMPTY LAP!

    And no cat to fill it.

    The horror. The suffering. The lack of quality purr time.

    And that’s the viewpoint of the various subservient humans, until John Cole steps from the shadows of society to inform us all that Catlas doesn’t just shrug. He can also STAND UP WHENEVER HE DAMN WELL PLEASES because there isn’t a cat on his lap.

    Call Random House. Or maybe Penguin. We have a best seller. Now all we have to do is concuss a couple of Cato Institute interns until they’re capable of writing it.

  48. 48.

    arguingwithsignposts

    we all know the real reason cole doesn’t want his pic posted on the tubes is because malkin and rhe 101st chairborne would go full-on kerning countertop inspection first thing. i dont blame him.

  51. 51.

    Thoughtcrime

    kdaug – June 17, 2011 | 1:26 pm · Link
    …
    Ye shall know Him by His beautiful feet.

    And he’s also posted several pictures of his junk.

  52. 52.

    ruemara

    I must say, after a morning spent wrangling with La Migra due to my own stupidity in not reading the address right, this thread is so full of win. I think it’s time to make a T-shirt.

  53. 53.

    mclaren

    So when someone asks “Where is John Cole?” does everyone in the room get really quiet and stare at each other with spooky looks, like that scene in THE USUAL SUSPECTS where somebody asks “Who is Kayser Soeze?”

  56. 56.

    Jamie

    You’re all so wrong! John Cole is the figment of a 4th dimensional cat’s imagination, projected here as only one of many simulations in an attempt to determine what would happen to a sane person in a land where everyone was on the equivalent of a low dose of acid all the time.

    Edit: Rock on, Kay. I’m currently living in Ohio, not by choice, but Im pleased that not everyone is as insane as the tools I end up talking to.

    Charlie Stross explained all this.

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