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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread: The Devil’s Dictionary

Open Thread: The Devil’s Dictionary

by $8 blue check mistermix|  June 20, 20119:43 am| 51 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Al Jazeera has discovered a copy of the top-secret mainstream media dictionary, and the letters A and B are posted. Some samples:

accident. n.

Airstrike in Afghanistan by NATO/ISAF forces usually killing scores of men, women and children.

atrocity. n.

Act of mass murder. Only Arab, Asian, African and Balkan leaders capable. See genocide.

Bahrain. n.

Nothing happening here, move on.

brown. adj.

See suspect.

Here’s an open thread for the other 24 letters or anything else worth discussing.

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Reader Interactions

51Comments

  1. 1.

    arguingwithsignposts

    June 20, 2011 at 9:54 am

    Torture. noun

    for U.S., see Enhanced Interrogation Techniques.

  2. 2.

    PeakVT

    June 20, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Which BJer got hired by Al Jazeera?

  3. 3.

    scav

    June 20, 2011 at 10:07 am

    mistake. noun
    Impeachable offence when performed by a republican.

    forgiven. past participle of forgive (verb)
    The permanent state of being for all pious evangelical republicans, especially signaled by the presence of a wife during a hastily arranged press conference.

  4. 4.

    Ghanima Atreides

    June 20, 2011 at 10:08 am

    R
    Reacharound, n. defn– how libertarians keep the conservative boot on liberals necks in America.

    C
    COIN, n. , defn— the mistaken belief among the US military brass that muslims will welcome freedom of speech, jehovah witnesses, mormon missionaries, saddleback megachurches, the Jersey Shore, fast food, factory farming and Big White Plastic Freemarket Jeebus.

  5. 5.

    cleek

    June 20, 2011 at 10:09 am

    t : troll. an intentionally inflammatory post designed to stir emotions in the hope of generating web traffic.

  6. 6.

    BO_Bill

    June 20, 2011 at 10:10 am

    r: Religion., n.

    Man can close the achievement gap as he is God, despite the fact that 30,000 out of 30,000 school districts show nearly identical data sets. Barry can stop the seas from rising for the same reason, except his chin is held higher than that old stale God. Temperatures are trending lower because of Global Warming. Evolution in humans ended 30,000 years ago.

  7. 7.

    taylormattd

    June 20, 2011 at 10:11 am

    Funny, genocide used to mean something different. But now that Naderite Paultards are in charge of the dictionary, I guess people like Ted Bundy committed genocide.

  8. 8.

    Joe Bauers

    June 20, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Interesting to get the different perspective. There was one entry that jumped out at me though. The sarcasm directed at Amnesty International is… noted. I guess they’re a bit prickly about having Arab governments’ appalling human rights records described as such. Good to know that intellectual blind spots when it comes to one’s self are things that don’t just exist for Americans…

  9. 9.

    BO_Bill

    June 20, 2011 at 10:22 am

    B: Butt Plug, n.

    A disturbingly hot seller of widely ranging Geometries, some grotesque. Persons laboring in the presence of these commodities seek enlightenment as to the physical appeal of this article and Logically broach the question at Balloon Juice.

    It’s my Friday +5.

  10. 10.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    June 20, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Guilty- what AA’s, Latinos and Muslims are in American Justice system even before the trials begin, also in the eyes of American Law enforcement from inner city and barrio kids to athletes to Harvard Professors (see Gates, Henry Louis)

  11. 11.

    NobodySpecial

    June 20, 2011 at 10:34 am

    Constitutional: adj.

    1)Describing the state of a law in relation to the constitution of a sovereign nation.

    2)Describing the state of any presidential action in the US that any lawyer says is ok.

  12. 12.

    p.a.

    June 20, 2011 at 10:35 am

    science (n); fraudulent empiricist knowledge-base being used in attempt to scare real’murkins into smaller cars, boats, and homes. most common on non-Bible based college campuses.

  13. 13.

    Chris

    June 20, 2011 at 10:36 am

    @ Joe –

    I think they’re painfully aware of their own governments’ human rights shortcomings. (The local governments mostly despise Al Jazeera because it’s not quite the puppet on their strings that they’re used to). They’re just irritated by the fact that Western governments never have to pay for their crimes.

    As for the human rights community, I suspect they’re also irritated by the sense that Westerners feel entitled to tell everyone what is and isn’t okay (read any of the ABL white-privilege related threads – this is the same thing on an international scale).

    Your mileage may vary, and that’s fine too, but it’s not as simple as just “we don’t want to face the truth about our governments.” In that respect, Al Jazeera’s been better than most groups in the region.

  14. 14.

    Xenos

    June 20, 2011 at 10:39 am

    From the original diabolical lexicographer:

    ABORIGINIES, n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

  15. 15.

    Poopyman

    June 20, 2011 at 10:39 am

    @ #8 Joe Bauers:

    Al Jazeera (Arabic: الجزيرة‎ al-ǧazīrah IPA: [æl dʒæˈziːrɐ], literally, “The Island,” abbreviating “The [Arabian] Peninsula”)[note] (also Aljazeera or JSC [Jazeera Satellite Channel]) is an independent broadcaster owned by the state of Qatar through the Qatar Media Corporation and headquartered in Doha, Qatar.

    So yeah, much as I like them, you need to be cognizant of who pays the bills and has hold of the off switch.

    (ETA — That quote is from the Wikipedia entry.)

  16. 16.

    Xenos

    June 20, 2011 at 10:40 am

    And perhaps Bierce’s greatest:

    PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
    __
    In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

  17. 17.

    Alex S.

    June 20, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Interesting stuff on Al-Jazeera’s site, not only about the Arab world. (Fukushima)

  18. 18.

    Joe Bauers

    June 20, 2011 at 10:54 am

    @ #13 Chris

    Good points. I think their irritation is 100% justified in the case of transparently hypocritical Western governments, much less so with AI. AI does not as far as I know denounce human rights abuses while simultaneously perpetrating them.

    I enjoy AJ’s perspective, which is one we don’t get from other media in the US. That I have a generally favorable opinion of them made their unexpectedly (to me at least, could be my ignorance) harsh criticism of AI jarring.

  19. 19.

    Ed Marshall

    June 20, 2011 at 10:55 am

    @Joe

    You would have to ask the author, but the usual critique of AI that I hear from an Arab perspective is that they are uniquely sensitive to security concerns of Israelis where they scoff at the Russians or Chinese when they act similarly.

  20. 20.

    justawriter

    June 20, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Oh great, Beck or Limbaugh or one of the other of the ravening horde is going to see this eventually and see the entry for the U.S. president. Then we will see headlines all of the series of tubes that “Al Jazeerah names Obama their messiah.” I’d offer to take bets on this but I don’t want that kind of blood money on my hands.

  21. 21.

    dadanarchist

    June 20, 2011 at 11:02 am

    Here’s a plug for the excellent British blog, Encyclopedia of Decency, which specializes in these sorts of definitions.

  22. 22.

    Joe Bauers

    June 20, 2011 at 11:08 am

    @ #19 Ed Marshall
    @ #15 Poopyman

    Did not know those things, glad to learn them.

  23. 23.

    Chris

    June 20, 2011 at 11:15 am

    @ Joe –

    I think “the West” tends to all mesh together, for a lot of people in the Middle East. And the fact that “human rights” are an often invoked excuse for wars which, justified or not, clearly have nothing to do with human rights (the Afghanistan war and the two Iraq ones for starters) probably doesn’t play well for human rights centric organizations.

    It’s unfair to a lot of good Westerners and I don’t defend the stereotype, but I can see how it happens.

  24. 24.

    Ghanima Atreides

    June 20, 2011 at 11:16 am

    B
    Bush Doctrine, n., defn
    The Epic Fail of the Manifest Destiny of Judeochristian Democracy (aka Missionary Democracy) in Iraq and Afghanistan.
    Cost to date of the Bush Doctrine.

    A
    Arab Spring
    , n., defn.
    The advent of social media in MENA, resulting in the popular overthrow of tyrannical American propped-dictatorships and monarchies.

    American Fall, n., defn.
    Comes after the Arab Spring.

  25. 25.

    Whiskey Screams from a Guy With No Short-Term Memory

    June 20, 2011 at 11:17 am

    Joe Bauers: For years, Amnesty gave Western governments a pass while decrying abuses in the Middle East, China, and Africa. And some of what they called abuse was, but was also local custom. People don’t take that well.

    Frankly, there was a ton of Western condescension and definitely more than a hint of outright racism in who they chose to criticize.

    They’re better about it these days, but one can’t help but notice that they still don’t apply anything like a universal standard as to who gets criticism and who doesn’t.

  26. 26.

    stormhit

    June 20, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Have I mentioned how much this place sucks shit now?

  27. 27.

    Roger Moore

    June 20, 2011 at 11:27 am

    @stormhit:
    Thanks for doing so much to make it better. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

  28. 28.

    sukabi

    June 20, 2011 at 11:39 am

    hypocrisy – getting busted for the very things you supposedly work to stop…

    John McGee -(R), Idaho State Senator, Arrested For Drunk Driving, Grand Larceny

    According to Sgt. Carlos De Leon with the Ada County Sheriff, McGee began drinking at a Boise golf course at about 10 p.m. Saturday. McGee left the clubhouse just before 3 a.m. and came upon a Ford Excursion with the keys inside and a 20-foot travel trailer attached in the area near the Muir Woods Subdivision in southwest Boise. McGee drove off in the vehicle, which had the keys inside.
    —
    McGee tried to turn the vehicle and trailer around in a long driveway on Knapp Place near Victory Road. The Excursion and travel trailer ended up jack-knifed in the driveway.

    McGee, 38, represents District 10, an area of approximately 50,000 people in Southwest Idaho. He is the Idaho Senate GOP Caucus Chairman.
    —
    According to the senator’s website, he is also the chairman of the Senate Transportation Committee and was the 2006 Idaho State Republican Legislator of the Year. Additionally, he is chairman of the Regional Substance Abuse Authority Legislative Committee.

  29. 29.

    Dennis SGMM

    June 20, 2011 at 11:41 am

    https://balloon-juice.com/2011/06/20/open-thread-the-devils-dictionary/#comment-2638473

    And after all of the contributions that you’ve made to the place.

  30. 30.

    catclub

    June 20, 2011 at 11:48 am

    Whiskey @ 25

    I suspect, ( but don’t actually know) that Israel has no love lost for Amnesty International.

    It actually seems almost universally disliked by those in power when it pays attention to the acts of same. Sounds like a recommendation to me.

  31. 31.

    OzoneR

    June 20, 2011 at 11:52 am

    This would explain CNN’s suddenly right wing tilt, they were all interviewing for jobs at Fox.

    Henry is the second major CNN journalist and on-air talent to defect to Fox News since HLN topper Ken Jautz took over as CNN Worldwide president, following the January move of John Roberts.

    http://www.deadline.com/2011/06/cnns-ed-henry-jumps-to-fox-news-to-become-chief-white-house-correspondent/

  32. 32.

    p.a.

    June 20, 2011 at 11:54 am

    he is chairman of the Regional Substance Abuse Authority

    well after all, he is an authority!

    o/t- is the ‘reply’ function gone? or has my recently trojan-virused netbook lost that capacity?

  33. 33.

    Whiskey Screams from a Guy With No Short-Term Memory

    June 20, 2011 at 11:56 am

    stormhit: This seems to be your first comment here.

    This is going to be an odd Monday.

  34. 34.

    Roger Moore

    June 20, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    @p.a.:
    The reply function is gone. Yes, the authorities have been made aware and they promise that something will happen about it. Eventually. In the mean time, if you really want to have the nice link thingy it’s possible to do it by hand using copy, paste, and the “link” button. Or you could just not link; it’s not as though there aren’t plenty of posts not using the reply button even when it’s working.

  35. 35.

    bryanD

    June 20, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    G is for GABBY, proper noun

    Mascot name for Gabrielle Giffords used by presumptuous putzes to dress their own political exploitation of the lady in baby blue Care Bear scrubs.

  36. 36.

    Yutsano

    June 20, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    G is for GABBY, proper noun

    Thank you for proving, once again, what a complete and total asshole you are.

  37. 37.

    kindness

    June 20, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Open thread hijack. Who else liked the Game of Thrones last night? I can’t believe I have to wait until next spring to see season 2. C’mon HBO, we pay good money for you. Step up to the plate and give us our nourishment now, not next year.

  38. 38.

    Cris (without an H)

    June 20, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    Even I think those AJ posts are a little shrill.

  39. 39.

    Cris (without an H)

    June 20, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    @kindness: Who else liked the Game of Thrones last night?

    Haven’t watched it yet, the torrent came in too late.

  40. 40.

    El Cid

    June 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    So yeah, much as I like them, you need to be cognizant of who pays the bills and has hold of the off switch.

    Thing about that is that Al-J has covered the Bahrain situation in much less detail and with less emphasis — and that that you would attribute to its base in Qatar.

    This individual writer — the anchor — is therefore doing the opposite of what many have seen (myself included) as going easy on the Bahrain government’s murder and repression.

    Or, as no one in power seems to care to notice, the Saudi-occupied protectorate of Bahrain.

  41. 41.

    opal

    June 20, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    @kindness

    I was slow to warm to it, but yeah–it’s up there with The Wire.

    Peter Dinklage deserves an Emmy.

  42. 42.

    kindness

    June 20, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    I agree Opal. Pretty cool newborn dragons too.

  43. 43.

    Ghanima Atreides

    June 20, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    D

    Democracy promotion, n., defn.
    The attempt to fool, force, or bribe indigenous muslim populations into accepting faux-secular Israel-friendly American client dictators and monarchs, as opposed to electing muslim democratic populists.

  44. 44.

    Ghanima Atreides

    June 20, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    the books are orders of magnitude better.

  45. 45.

    Mandramas

    June 20, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    Hehe, that is Ambroce Bierce level material.

  46. 46.

    Silver

    June 20, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    They haven’t even started filming the next season yet, iirc.

    Hopefully, they don’t fuck it up and cheap out like they did with Rome and ruin it. The first season was amazing, and yes, Peter Dinklage was born to be the Imp.

  47. 47.

    nightshift66

    June 20, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    @kindness

    Complete agreement. Last few series I really enjoyed are (a) all on pay channels and (b) subscribe to this new ’10 shows makes a season/call it a year’ rule. Rome, Carnivale, The Borgias, The Tutors, Boardwalk Empire, Deadwood, and now GoT. Is it really that expensive/time-consuming to produce shows that good?

  48. 48.

    LanceThruster

    June 20, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    Zionism – Working to keep everyone else out of their country club due to the fact that at one time they were not allowed into anyone else’s country club.

  49. 49.

    Cris (without an H)

    June 20, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    @nightshift66: Is it really that expensive/time-consuming to produce shows that good?

    I imagine it is. Probably nowhere near as expensive or time-consuming as producing a feature film, but quality-wise it’s getting hard to tell the difference.

  50. 50.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    June 20, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    Religion:

    ORIGINALLY: The belief that one could negotiate with the weather.
    NOW: The belief that said negotiator is intimately concerned with one’s genitalia and their moral status.

  51. 51.

    TomG

    June 20, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    I loved the show Game of Thrones very much myself, and will be reading the books soon.
    For any of you that have already read them (aSoIaF), check out George R. R. Martin’s incredible vampire novel Fevre Dream. I am hoping that his new visibility might give us a feature film of that story.

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