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You are here: Home / Fuck You America

Fuck You America

by John Cole|  June 22, 20112:06 pm| 54 Comments

This post is in: Decline and Fall

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Unemployment is at 9-10%, NBC just gave Donald Trump 160 million for being a bigot and a birther, and the Jersey Shore cast got a raise. Since we’re quoting the Superficial these days, “America, go fuck yourself.“

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Previous Post: « Also, Your Record Sucks
Next Post: Hedge Fund Regulations »

Reader Interactions

54Comments

  1. 1.

    Martin

    June 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    Someone needs a hug.

  2. 2.

    Primigenius

    June 22, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    Preach it, Brother Cole! You’re on a roll today.

  3. 3.

    Trinity

    June 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    Time for a pet pic I think.

    Shit sucks.

  4. 4.

    Jennifer

    June 22, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    This is why I’m planning to move out of the country as soon as I can find a place that will have me.

    It’s all over here. The way to get ahead in ‘Murka these days is to be a complete shitheel, take what others have made and pretend that swiping it is the real act of “producing.” Failing that, flashing your crotch on “reality” TV can net you a nice payday. Either way, you’re going to have to agree to debase yourself in one way or another if you want to continue to pay the bills.

    Fuck it. It will be a lot easier to point and laugh from a distance, if my shit’s not getting all messed up along with the rest of it.

  5. 5.

    BO_Bill

    June 22, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    Let’s do the Mathematics. The debt is $14 trillion and the government pays ~3% interest, or $420 billion per year and increasing (a lot of money). This money is increasingly funneled in the following manner:

    1. The private Federal Reserve generates money and loans it to banks at: Zero Percent Interest.
    2. The private banks take that free money and loan it to Barry at: Three Percent Interest.

    Trump is of course in the circle, his daughter married to one of the neo-bankers. But he was shaking things up, arguing for tariffs (cash flow disruption) and calling Barry compromised (potential security threat). And he could have won on that platform and influenced who got how much. So the $160 million to protect the existing power structure actually seems small. Not very impressive Mr. Trump.

  6. 6.

    jwest

    June 22, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Never saw the program, but good for him.

    Maybe he should have held out for $200 million.

  7. 7.

    Poopyman

    June 22, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    It’s so quiet around here when Mr. Cole is having a good day.

    This is not one of those days.

  8. 8.

    Butch

    June 22, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    OK, your garden got chewed and I just finished pulling up the rug in the basement den, which was ruined because it’s been raining like crazy and the basement flooded. The project to fix the eaves has moved up in importance.

  9. 9.

    Genine

    June 22, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    WOW! Getting a year older seems to be lighting a fire under your butt today, John.

    Or maybe it’s the deer eating your garden.

    Either way, you’re on a tear.

    Sending hugs and good vibes your way.

  10. 10.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    June 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    80 million a year, well donald trump is quite successful at being the donald, no debate about that.

    at least sarah palin isn’t making that much money for being whatever it is she is.

  11. 11.

    geg6

    June 22, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    Fuck Trump and fuck NBC. Assholes, both of them. And I never watch either. Even when I had a Nielsen box. Which might help explain their lousy ratings the last few years.

    In some marginally good news, it seems our Senate Dems can grow a few now and again:

    https://balloon-juice.com/2011/06/22/also-your-record-sucks/#comment-2641586

  12. 12.

    The Other Chuck

    June 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    I was about to mention something about the Federal Funds Rate to BOB, but then I remembered it was BOB.

    Wasn’t he banned?

  13. 13.

    slag

    June 22, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    It’s called Real American Values (TM), JC. Why do you hate America?

  14. 14.

    Poopyman

    June 22, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    @ Genine:

    Oh! That’s right! Happy Fuckin’ Birthday!

  15. 15.

    Josie

    June 22, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    It’s raining!!!!!

  16. 16.

    Dennis SGMM

    June 22, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    Despite high unemployment, states having to make draconian budget cuts, soaring health care costs, and an antique infrastructure, there’s actually a debate about how few (If any) troops to pull out of Afghanistan. After ten years and $440 billion poured into that mess the only people who’ve prospered are Kharzai and his friends. Not to mention the 45,000 troops still in Iraq and Obama’s Excellent Libyan Adventure. That last is a hedge against peace unexpectedly breaking out elsewhere.

    I’m old enough to remember the giggles in the US when the old Soviet Union broke its own back in Afghanistan. Those dumb old Sovs spent all of their money and trashed their military in a futile war all right. America is better than that: we do it in multiple wars.

  17. 17.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    June 22, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    There was a link I saw ’round these parts a few weeks ago showing a list of state by state construction jobs. My google has completely failed me for 15 minutes. Any help pointing me in the right direction would be appreciated.

  18. 18.

    MeDrewNotYou

    June 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    Since we’re quoting the Superficial these days, “America, go fuck yourself.”

    I prefer Professor Farnsworth’s line from a creationism-themed episode of Futurama: “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

    ETA- New season starts tomorrow night on Comedy Central! Wootles!

  19. 19.

    Bulworth

    June 22, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    Who’s Sarah Harding?

  20. 20.

    MeDrewNotYou

    June 22, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    @ Dennis at 16

    After ten years and $440 billion poured into that mess the only people who’ve prospered are Kharzai and his friends.

    You’re not being fair. The gravedigging industry over there has to be making out like bandits too. More like 1 Wedding and 40 Funerals, amirite?

  21. 21.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    June 22, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    @BO_Bill #5:

    Let’s do the Mathematics.

    Hey Bill, long-time, no-see!
    So how’s the weather these days in Abstract Noun World?
    Is is still Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Capitals?

  22. 22.

    jibeaux

    June 22, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    The weird thing is, in a lot of places what’s going on here would call for a revolution. We don’t really need a revolution. Our little constitutional representative democracy, flawed as it definitely is, is not a bad system. We just need people to pay a tiny bit of attention and connect actions to consequences a little. And to turn off all the useless, mindless, pointless crap on TV. That might be harder.

  23. 23.

    Dennis SGMM

    June 22, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    @jibeaux

    Our little constitutional representative democracy…

    …only works if at least a substantial segment of it works for the average person. Once it becomes an arm of big business the rest of us are just along for the ride.

  24. 24.

    PaulW

    June 22, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    We need to do three things:

    1) stop watching NBC.
    2) stop watching The Jersey Shore.
    3) stop voting Republican.

    If we can get 330 million Americans on the same page here, I think this can work out.

  25. 25.

    BO_Bill

    June 22, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    I’ll trade you my capital for your creative double-verb ThatLeftTurnInABQ. Without even bringing up the $37 trillion in Credit Default Swaps.

  26. 26.

    scav

    June 22, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    Apparently, so long as one single shitheel of person is magnificently overpaid, has gold-plated health care, and appears on the talking box to the applause of fawning millions, the ‘Mercan dream of Horatio Algerdom is alive and pre-eminent. Once we get them a tax cut, the libertarian rapture will have been made manifest on earth.

  27. 27.

    The Spy Who Loved Me

    June 22, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    John Cole, why do you hate the free market?

  28. 28.

    Platonicspoof

    June 22, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    Since we’re quoting the Superficial these days, . . .

    and since Trump and the other cons for prez will say and do anything to bait the bitter crazies, you could have
    also too quoted
    Game of Bimbos: A Clash of Gold-Diggers.

  29. 29.

    Rosalita

    June 22, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    I was about to mention something about the Federal Funds Rate to BOB, but then I remembered it was BOB.

    Wasn’t he banned?

    I thought so too. His handle has changed, maybe trying to sneak under John’s radar?

  30. 30.

    Southern Beale

    June 22, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    And Delta Airlines lost a British guy’s luggage and when he got it back he found his clothing had been peed on. Link is to a hilarious video, by the way. Hilarious in a sad sort of way.

    I mean, when I said corporations treat us like dirt, I guess I was being nice.

  31. 31.

    catclub

    June 22, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    Agreed with jwest @ 6

    Just like when people complained about Babe Ruth getting paid too much ( he was actually dreadfully underpaid for the amount of money he brought in for the Yankees), he is a unique commodity and if he is bringing in the money for NBC he is worth it. If NBC are idiots, then they have spent money badly and will have fewer profits to waste on executive salaries.

  32. 32.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    June 22, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    @Bill_BO #25:

    I’ll trade you my capital for your creative double-verb

    Typos are attracted to my best snark like ants to a picnic. I’ve learned to live with it. Life goes on.

    Funny how we each have our own distinctive writing styles. Beyond a certain point the nyms aren’t even necessary.

  33. 33.

    geg6

    June 22, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    I thought so too. His handle has changed, maybe trying to sneak under John’s radar?

    Probably. But he’s still the racist, misogynist pig he always was, now with twice the stupid!

  34. 34.

    Tsulagi

    June 22, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    That’s gotta piss off Ringing Bells Palin. Trump spends a few weeks selling stupid and gets a $160M payoff. While the bus challenged teagrifter scrambles for five figure appearance fees.

    BTW, the site has been acting a little weird for me since yesterday. Keeps trying to switch me to the mobile version, and one comment was rejected for “Bad Behavior.” First time I’ve had software tell me I’ve been behaving badly.

  35. 35.

    gnomedad

    June 22, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    To quote an old SNL parody, “NBC, Smart as a Peacock!”

  36. 36.

    geg6

    June 22, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    To quote an old SNL parody, “NBC, Smart as a Peacock!”

    Damn, caught me off guard with that and now I have Pepsi all over my monitor.

    Having encountered a peacock or two in my time, I just have to say how awesome this is.

  37. 37.

    slag

    June 22, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Just like when people complained about Babe Ruth getting paid too much ( he was actually dreadfully underpaid for the amount of money he brought in for the Yankees), he is a unique commodity and if he is bringing in the money for NBC he is worth it. If NBC are idiots, then they have spent money badly and will have fewer profits to waste on executive salaries.

    You’re kinda missing the point here. The problem isn’t that NBC is paying Trump what they think he’s worth. The problem is that bigots and assholes are worth a lot of money in this country.

    This isn’t a policy proposal to limit the salaries of assholes. This is a general gripe about a society that venerates the assholes.

  38. 38.

    Stooleo

    June 22, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    OT.

    Georgia’s anti-immigration law actually working. GA’s farmers are getting screwed. For some real fun be sure to check out the comments.

  39. 39.

    gene108

    June 22, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    I applaud the power for the free market. Once Snooki, the Situtation, et. al. are freed from the burdens of onerous regulations and taxes, their spending will boost the economy to heights never before imagined.

    In Snooki We Trust!

  40. 40.

    RossInDetroit

    June 22, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Trump is a bullshit artist. TV is almost entirely bullshit and should be ignored by all serious people. Think I’m wrong? Explain what’s on there, aside from sports broadcasts, that makes the cable bill worth the money for you.

    I’ll wait…

    ETA: cranky. Two root canals this morning. Pain. Need pi*ls and sleep.

  41. 41.

    Joseph Nobles

    June 22, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    OT:

    The headline way of saying it: Obama issues DREAM Act as executive order.

    Details are a little more complicated. ICE is an agency dealing with limited resources, like all federal agencies. Prosecutorial discretion in deportation is already granted to the agency based on clearly spelled out factors. What Obama did on Friday is add the DREAM Act categories to that list of factors.

    It doesn’t mean that undocumented immigrants in school wouldn’t be deported, but a prosecutor could let DREAM Act candidates slide, especially if they fulfilled more of the factors already approved.

    It’s the closest thing to a recess appointment the President could do. This is My President, firebaggers. Primary him at your peril!

    Here’s the memo in PDF format: http://www.ice.gov/doclib/secure-communities/pdf/prosecutorial-discretion-memo.pdf

  42. 42.

    Martin

    June 22, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Georgia’s anti-immigration law actually working. GA’s farmers are getting screwed. For some real fun be sure to check out the comments.

    Good. Not that I wish ill on GAs farmers, but I’m hardly going to gripe about raising the effective minimum wage which is the only way out of this for them – either paying a decent wage will get documented workers, or it’ll provide enough of an incentive for the undocumented to take the risk. I wonder how quickly GA Republicans will hold out against immigration reform and amnesty while their economy crumbles?

    And some of the comments are dead-on, unfortunately. First generation Americans are fucking hard workers. We had a guy drop off a bunch of natural granite pavers at the house a couple months ago – weighing from 15# to probably 100#. He brought his crew along to unload the truck and this insanely old asian guy who could barely stand up is there hauling out these 70# pavers, shuffling along as best as he could. He must have been north of 80 years old, but I’d wager $20 there wasn’t a single teenager in my neighborhood willing to do that.

  43. 43.

    jibeaux

    June 22, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    @Dennis, I agree, but at the end of the day it’s our own fault. Corporations cannot, yet, vote. People have to vote in their own long-term interests.

  44. 44.

    Martin

    June 22, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    People have to vote in their own long-term interests

    Don’t use 10 words when 4 will suffice.

    People just need to vote. Period. Most of them will vote our way.

  45. 45.

    Timothy Trollenschlongen (formerly Tim, Interrupted)

    June 22, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    Awesome vent. Totally agree. This country sucks and sucks more all the time.

    That said, Cole, why did you link to that pic at Superficial? I thought you were gay.

  46. 46.

    Timothy Trollenschlongen (formerly Tim, Interrupted)

    June 22, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    People just need to vote. Period.

    Please explain why people “need” to vote. Period.” Particularly when millions of people see few or no candidates who deserve said vote?

    Who is “our?”

    Thanks.

  47. 47.

    Chris

    June 22, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    @ Stooleeo –

    Georgia’s anti-immigration law actually working. GA’s farmers are getting screwed. For some real fun be sure to check out the comments.

    PRICELESS.

    Love the bitter comments here:

    At one time the left would be for workers rights to protect wages and protect against abuse but now they are more concerned about trying to get Latino votes than protecting worker rights.

    No, the left got run out of the (previously perfectly pro-welfare) South in the 1960s and 1970s because they had the temerity to stand up for the rights of workers other than those with lily-white skins.

    If you actually want to help your workers get decent wages and protection against abuse, talk to the unions. Oh, that’s right, you ran them out too in favor of your “right to work for shitty wages and shitty treatment as long as I don’t have to do it with a darkie earning my paycheck” values. Reap the whirlwind, asshole.

  48. 48.

    KRK

    June 22, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Yeah, seems like a good thread to wish our host a happy birthday. Best wishes, JC!

  49. 49.

    Comrade Kevin

    June 22, 2011 at 5:24 pm

    @Bulworth

    Who’s Sarah Harding?

    Apparently she’s an English pop singer. I had never heard of her before.

  50. 50.

    bemused

    June 22, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Who in the world watches Trump’s show? I can’t even imagine who would want to.

  51. 51.

    The Other Chuck

    June 22, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Please explain why people “need” to vote. Period.” Particularly when millions of people see few or no candidates who deserve said vote?

    Because not voting invariably gives your vote away to some shitheel who deserves it the least of all.

  52. 52.

    Friday Jones

    June 22, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    My planets have just collided. The only two blogs I read every day? BJ and Fish. I had a philosophical discussion last night about how Fish demonstrates how far we have exploded out of the top of Maslow’s hierarchy. I suppose BJ does the same thing. (And for “we” in the previous sentence, read “fuckers who watch Jersey Shore and think Donald Trump is legitimately an Important Person”. NOT IT!)

  53. 53.

    WereBear

    June 22, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Please explain why people “need” to vote. Period.” Particularly when millions of people see few or no candidates who deserve said vote?

    Criminy! This isn’t shopping. Republicans win a LOT because they get their bunch all crazed and frothing at the mouth to VOTE.

    Your pity party does nothing, nothing at all! At least get out there and cancel some lunatic’s vote out, would ya?

  54. 54.

    The Other Chuck

    June 22, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Three uses of “shitheel” in one thread. How, uh, something.

    Okay, four now.

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