…Last night I ran across perhaps the most awesomest example of utterly unexpected juxtapositions whilst others were burning down the blog. I mentioned it in a thread, but really, it deserves much more prominent billing.
And while it is tempting to try some snarkilicious gloss on the title and treatment of the material below, sometimes cigars are just…strange (and delightful)…as here:
<div align=”center”><iframe width=”560″ height=”349″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/-rCd5uGaM8s” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
I invite you to try and top the pure glorious absurdity of this one. Consider this an open thread.
sb
And God said, “Let there be summer vacation.”
The teachers saw this and knew that it was good.
MAJeff
This video reminded me of Aretha replacing Luciano at the Grammys singing Nessun Dorma:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DwZ-GMHyho&feature=related
LGRooney
Unfortunately, I can’t watch videos at the office so I have no idea what’s going on above. I have a question for fellow juicers.
Background: a nearly-44 y.o. male with a bad back and horrible ankles (7x broken playing soccer), not in terrible shape but certainly not in the shape I was years and years ago before the cigarettes and booze took their toll, got exceedingly jealous of a colleague who was doing something called mud running – a skinny little whelp of a guy, not athletic in the least, and now I want to run the next one with him and a few other colleagues but I want to be best in our show or damned close to it.
How do I get in good enough shape in 2 months to make it happen, and preferably doing something sustainable, i.e., that I can stick with comfortably even after I have run the race?
I’m asking about exercises, diet, and psychological warfare with the wife (10 years younger) who may have some extremely peripheral interest in doing something like this but will think me absolutely foolish for even thinking about it. On that last point, I am certain it will involve getting my 7 y.o. son to sign on first so he can use his charms against her in my favor, i.e., something along the lines of, “He’s interested and I would rather encourage these healthy interests in him than in showing him how best to handle his weapons in Battlefield 2 on the XBox.
Brian S
Me too, sb, at least as of tomorrow–I’m giving my last final tonight. But that also means that I’m basically unemployed after tonight, given my relocation to Des Moines in less than a month. Anyone from that area who could use a slightly banged up poet/English teacher/self-styled new media expert? I work cheap.
Steeplejack
“It’s a Man’s World” is one of my favorite James Brown songs. But Pavarotti? Wow, I did not see that coming.
My other favorite “atypical” James Brown song is “King Heroin.” The JB’s really get their background groove on in this one.
patrick
I got nothin’ to top that….
best I could think of on short notice was this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_BmeBfV-O4
dpcap
Luciano was awesome. He could chill with ANYONE.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
is this absurd enough, and yet another mile marker is put between me, and the disney themepark demographic
kdaug
@LGRooney:
Guess the first question is “What the hell’s ‘mud running’? Just running around in the mud?”
Second question is “Why the hell would a 43 year-old man want to do that? Didn’t you get that out of your system at about 5?”
stuckinred
LGRooney
Get in the water to build cardio. I know, swimming is boring.
Steeplejack
@Patrick:
Heh. That was epic.
Tom Levenson
@FPFWT at number 9.
Oh My Flying Spagetti Monster.
I’m so glad my controlled substance days are decades behind me. That was purely terrifying.
Seriously. I think the War Crimes Tribunal at the Hague ought to look into that one.
Bill White
Okay, how about the Leningrad Cowboys performing “Sweet Home Alabama” with background vocals by the Soviet Red Army Choir?
http://youtu.be/zKD7g56DNN0
LGRooney
@kdaug, 10:
It’s running races on muddy tracks through obstacle courses, across streams, crawling in pipes, climbing ropes, etc. Why the hell not? I used to be in very good shape, not that I am in such shitty shape now but I want to get back into top shape, at least for my age, and try to keep it at a respectable maintenance level so I can age better. Most importantly, I want to show my kid what his dad was before I had him and how much fun it is to be physically active. And, I would like to show my wife, an urbanite who has never known strenuous exercise, how much fun it can be… or give her a good laugh and more ammo in her “I told you so” arsenal.
LGRooney
@stuckinred, 11: Thanks. I do swim but more often than not my swimming is hijacked by a group of marauding elementary students looking for someone big to play with.
PurpleGirl
Pavarotti and James Brown are absurd at most levels but that Disney show… Ghue, how could Lukas allow such uses of his characters. Doesn’t he have enough money that he has to get license fees for such stuff?
Poopyman
@LGRooney:
In two months? This is not going to end well. I am by no means qualified to give physical conditioning advise … so here goes:
Besides cardio you need strength conditioning. Pay particular attention to core (do Pilates) and legs. My first fear for you is your knees and, given your admission, those ankles. And of course, do cardio.
Still, two months is just about enough time to start to show improvement. If you really push yourself you’ll probably wind up injured before the big event.
Bear in mind that I’m looking back at 44 wistfully. Here at 57 I know you’ve started the long decline. You can certainly get yourself in shape, but it won’t be as easy as it was 10 years ago.
Good luck.
The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik
I love you, not simply for this video, which is great in its patent ridiculousness, but because through the wonders of recommended linkage, I ended up finding Aretha Franklin filling in for Pavarotti to sing Nessun Dorma. Not pure opera, but holy shit.
bemused
Bill White@14: I’m probably one of the few people that loved “Leningrad Cowboys Go America”.
PurpleGirl
Bill White @ 14: Okay, how about the Leningrad Cowboys performing “Sweet Home Alabama” with background vocals by the Soviet Red Army Choir?
I’ve seen some other videos featuring the Soviet Red Army Choir. At least they tried to find singing gigs for the guys and kept them employed. They may be funny but they do sing well and can be entertaining. The Leningrad Cowboys look they want to be the Talking Heads, a low rent version.
kerFuFFler
@ stuckinred
Not if you think entertaining thoughts while swimming—-it’s all up to you!
LGRooney
@Poopyman, 18: I had scopes on both of my knees 9 years ago; so, I by now, I am okay with everything but jogging. I can still sprint at a very good clip as long as I avoid heel strikes (back, knees, and everything else that jars well on a hard step) meaning jogging is out. That was the end of my soccer-playing days. 30 years of the sport took it out of me. I am in fairly good shape as far as general strength goes but it could use some improvement. My cardio is where it is going to hit hardest and I fear I am going to have to resort to some mix of swimming (see stuckinred) and stair sprinting. Think I gave up cigarettes just in time.
Hawes
I have to go with this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADbJLo4x-tk
A classic. You have to wonder what happened when Bowie showed up as Ziggy Stardust…
Or, you know, this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78FATeTMDaA
jl
Perfect clip for this here very strange blog.
Too bad I missed Cole’s very special birthday surprise party that the commenters thoughtfully threw for him yesterday.
I don’t know enough about the doings of J&%! H^&%$$#@! to understand much of the fuss, so I would have sat in the corner feeling left out, anyway.
But seems like quite a time was had by all.
catclub
When I was 19 I got a job that included an 11 mile bike commute each way. By the time the summer was over I was really fit, but the first week or two I was whipped when I got to work and whipped when I got home.
You now have a kid and presumably a job that does not allow sleeping on the job. I am not seeing it happen in two months because you will have to find some similar workout to my bike commute to get in shape that fast.
But good luck, and I also vote for swimming. If you can get the 7 y.o to hold onto you for half an hour while you swim, that will be a great workout.
grape_crush
…sometimes cigars are just…strange (and delightful)…
Sometimes it works, like Bing Crosby and David Bowie singing “The Little Drummer Boy” or Bone Thugs N Harmony and Phil Collins. Allison Krauss and Robert Plant.
kdaug
Just sayin’.
Hawes
LGRooney:
Look into some ankle strengthening exercises. Balance balls/board and the like, while building leg/knee strength on exercise bikes. I’m the same age, knee scoped, ankle scoped. (Rugby, not soccer) and I wouldn’t start running until your legs are strong and stable. That might tie into your back problems, too.
MikeJ
JL@25:
When has knowledge of the subject ever stood in the way of a vitriolic rant on this blog? Just leap in next time! You don’t have to actually make any sense.
Poopyman
@jl:
Yeah Cole’s a little bit hung over and still trying to clean up all the broken crockery, followed by a cathartic round of mopping while nekkid. No vids available. Sorry.
Poopyman
@ Hawes:
That’s why the core exercises are vital. As for the legs, squats (not deep!) and lunges with weights. Get the quads a bit toned before you do any real running.
Culture of Truth
As this is an open thread, I note the GOP drama queens just made a big show of pulling out of the budgets talks to avert default on the U.S. debt obligations, because Democrats will not rule out all tax increases to pay for the debt obligations.
Cantor said in that once the tax issue is resolved, the negotiations can go forward. Back on June 21 Cantor said “it’s crunch time” on the debt-ceiling, and said everything was on the table “except tax increases. That includes Medicare, Medicaid,” and all discretionary spending.
patrick
I think Darth vader and his posse of storm troopers dancing to Micheal Jackson’s “Thriller” have it beat….
jl
@3 LGRooney – June 23, 2011 | 12:55 pm
Hey, I been getting in shape, so maybe I can throw in two useful cents.
I agree with commenter above, do some kind of strength training. I do not like this strength training, but was persuaded to try it out, and it really seems to reduce injuries. I would do some research, or get a session with a trainer, since there are different sorts of strength training, and you want strength training to help with endurance sports, not to puff up your muscles.
As soon as you start getting into good shape, and probably should get a physical exam, start introducing some interval training into your routine, and gradually increase the time on that. Being able to vary intensity has made a big difference for me in getting in shape and losing weight.
As for activities, and inveigle significant others who are finicky, I’ve had success with cooking up hiking/camping trips that mimic European style hostel camping. Plan a progressively longer hikes or camping trips with nights at nice digs at the end, or strategically scattered through the trip, so there is a reward that appeals to all.
My planning problem is that certain people insist on presence of at least a pit toilet for daily duties. Any trip where you need a hole in the dirt, and have to pack the tissue out in a baggy with the foul mess prettied up with just a drop of iodine is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN!
That is easy here in CA. Yosemite and parts of Kings Canyon/Sequoia, Tahoe area, Point Reyes, etc. perfect for that. Not sure how easy it is in your area, wherever that is.
Thanks, maybe, for the mud running info. Internet says that they have them in CA, for both cars and people, so will probably check that out someday, when in good enough shape to risk crippling myself.
LGRooney
So, before I hijack anymore…
1) Swim with my kid holding on as extra drag
2) Shallow squats and lunges with my kid on my shoulders for weight to strengthen legs
3) Balance ball with my son trying to knock me off to strengthen the core
4) Stay out of sight of the wife, keep 911 on speed dial, and tell my colleagues next year may be better.
Think I got it. Thanks.
Martin
This x10. I’ve got bad ankles too, also from soccer (never broke one, but broke plenty of other guys. I’m 42, so maybe it was you!) and swimming is very low stress on the ankles and great cardio, and if you push hard with a variety of strokes, will work the right muscles. Add in some moderate weight training. After a month of that, just to get things generally back in shape, that’s when I’d start running, not sooner, or you’ll just find yourself hobbling around for a week after each effort. Oh, and I find running off pavement is MUCH less painful. Harder on the muscles, easier on the joints.
LGRooney
@jl, 35: Yeah, these events look pretty serious but they do allow you to walk the courses and there are no time limits. So, if it’s too much, you can relax a bit. That being said, I will need to work up to interval training. That’s what I used to do when I was built like a brick shit house (a short one but nonetheless able to withstand the hurricanes). I am 15+ years away from that. As for camping, we have agreed in principal with friends that have a son our son’s age that we will get away once a month or so with the girls retiring to some spa/lodge setting while the boys go out and rough it – hope we can use their toilets and showers, though.
trollhattan
Apropos of nothing above, can y’all stand another shining example of our economically divided world?
http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2011/06/14/22-year-old-f1-heiress-to-buy-150-million-home/Petra?intcmp=sem_outloud&intcmp=obnetwork
She makes Paris Hilton seem positively salt-o’-the-earth. Bet the lucky duckies(tm) are envious.
Amir_Khalid
@grape crush:
That last pair weren’t all that far apart to begin with. Led Zeppelin had quite a bit of folk in their repertoire, and Plant has been all over the world (figuratively speaking) in his eclectic post-Zep career. His lifeloong interest in Americana is a perfect mesh with what Alison Krauss does.
Martin
I think Obama is going to make Bohener his bitch on this one. We won’t see it that way, but the GOP base will, and that’s why Cantor is out of there.
And that’s the problem with the current political climate. A decent enough compromise will be reached, the left will scream about Obama selling us out and the right will go apocalyptic.
It’s tough playing a game where everyone is certain to conclude that they’ve lost.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@purplegirl 17 i think lucas licensed the use to disney, but didn’t keep his customary tight control over what they ended up doing.
@patrick 34 tough call. i would think welcome to the jungle wins on weirder song choice, and less disney-like content. of course i would have to see the thriller mockery for myself.
hamletta
That was beautiful. The other videos, not so much.
asiangrrlMN
Tom, this is fan-frigging-tastic. End of story.
@LGRooney, I gotta agree with Poopyman and co-sign his advice. I would also say add more fruits and veggies (if you don’t eat eight servings a day already), cut back on saturated fats, and just eat a little less than normal.
As Poopyman says, this may not get you in primo mud-running shape, but it will make you healthier.
El Cid
Maybe I’m just too distant from high internet intensity, but why is having several hundred comments and heated or vitriolic or vicious arguments such a problem for a blog?
What, does it give it a bad rep? It’s not a technical issue. I’m assuming it’s already being moderated (as possible) for racism or certain other things not permitted.
I just don’t quite understand why it becomes a crisis if a blog’s commenters freak out on each other.
And I’m not just talking about one post, but so many.
People talk about it as though a long and mean comments list weighs more, or costs more, or kills people, or something.
MikeJ
You got a mouse in your pocket? I never thought of you as one of the manic progressives. I seem to recall you be as amused as most Dems when it became clear how badly Obama pwnd Bohener on the budget deal.
Your larger point is right. There will be those who will claim Obama didn’t go far enough even if he feeds Bohener to a honey badger on live TV.
LGRooney
A bit extreme. GBH, definitely, but no death by comment. It’s just that we’re all above the fray, donchano?
kdaug
Clogs the tubes.
SteveM
I have to nominate the KLF (Kopyright Liberation Front) duetting with Tammy Wynette on “Justified and Ancient”:
http://youtu.be/x1xrDoQAETw
And yes, that really is Tammy Wynette.
Poopyman
@ El Cid:
They came in here and trashed the place, and it wasn’t even their place!
Amir_Khalid
@trollhattan:
Who knows, maybe Bernie Ecclestone’s kid hopes to flip the house — y’know, unload it for a profit? I hear some rich folks make a hobby out of that sort of thing. When you’re loaded like her old man is, ain’t no such thing as recession times.
jenn
@LGRooney,
A lot of good suggestions here. You may want to look into barefoot running, too – for one thing you CAN’T heelstrike when you’re barefoot! Provisos: (1) you have to start out really slowly, since most people’s foot muscles have been horribly weakened by wearing shoes, so this wouldn’t really be something that would help all that much for your mudrunning event in 2 months, but may be something for your long-term goals. Actually running barefoot, rather than wearing minimalist shoes, helps in these early stages, since you can’t proceed faster than the skin on your feet will let you, which prevents the dreaded too-much-too-soon injuries. Plus it helps get a better running technique down. (2) Ignore all the true believers, until you figure out what works best for you. As someone who runs shod most of the time, but supplements with barefooting, I get a lot of good information from some of the barefooting websites, but my eyesockets can barely contain the eyerolling when I get lectured on how my shoes prevent me from being a real runner, and other such nonsense.
Good luck! I’ve heard a lot about some of these events, and they always sound like such a blast!
Southern Beale
Years ago I went to Modena, Italy for Pavarotti’s annual “Pavarotti & Friends” music festival as part of a Big Country Star’s entourage (I was friends with the artist’s publicist). It was a tremendously good time because I was basically on vacation, got to go to the parties and rehearsals, and basically got a front row seat to some amazing scenes of musical collaboration that people would have paid thousands of dollars to witness. Let’s see: Stevie Wonder, Big Country Star, Celine Dion, Vanessa Williams, The Corrs … it was a fabulous time, and the whole thing was being filmed by Spike Lee. I’ve never rubbed elbows with so many gliteratti in my life, not before or since.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@50 poopyman
dave’s a killer, dave’s a killer, dave’s a mess.
Mnemosyne
A bit of cigarette trivia that most people don’t know: nicotine boosts your body to burn an extra 100 calories a day, and it can take up to a year after you quit for your body to re-adjust. So, right now, as far as your body’s concerned, you’re eating an extra 100 calories every day.
It’s not a huge deal — a 20-minute brisk walk should burn 100 calories — but it leads a lot of ex-smokers to get very frustrated because they don’t realize how long the effect lasts after they quit.
All the nutrition advice here has been sound. Protein and fiber make you feel full longer; fat and carbs, not so much. You need all four for a healthy diet, but it should be in descending order from protein to fruits/veggies, whole grains, and a little healthy fat (like olive oil). Your body doesn’t care what the protein source is, so vegetarians can do just fine on protein-rich foods like soy, legumes and high-protein grains like quinoa.
ruemara
I r nawt doktor.
LGRoony but if you’re serious, start now. Sign up at a site like the Livestrong MyPlate thing, track your consumption and be throrough. Mnemosyne has it right about proteins,, I’d recommend sticking to very lean proteins, maybe even cutting red meat down to 1x a week, veg proteins at least 5x a week and whole grains.Depending on how athletic “mud running” is, 2 workouts 5x a week. a morning one that is aerobic and stretching, 30 mins of movement then 15 mins of pilates/yoga/qi gong type stretches. for evening, plyometrics, or aerobics or weights, 30 mins, 15 mins stretching. If you’re not that physical, those stretches both pre and post workout are critical. And learn to love moving. I like to rotate hour long walks with dvds (cardio jam) and pilates for the awesome ab pain. If you can stick to at least 4 workouts a week, you’ll see physical improvement in about a week, if you can do the full 5, you may be pleasantly surprised with how good you feel even sooner. warmup 5 mins, aerobics 30 mins, stretch cooldown, 10 mins. And I can’t stress enough how much some self praise for getting through your workouts can help. Love yourself, love what you’re doing and people will be blown away. Good luck.
Cheryl from Maryland
@49 – Steve —
That is one of my spouse’s favorites. It is his beach anthem.
elftx
Believe it or not, I think James Brown gave one of his better performances of this song.
Him singing it so earnestly with those violins gives me chills.
Pavarotti strange, yes, but Brown really gave it meaning.
TaMara (BHF)
@3 LGRooney – This made it possible for me to run again after a awful accident left me with permanent back and hip damage.
Kangoo Jumps
You can usually pick up a pair off Ebay pretty cheap. (I paid $60 or $80 for mine). They will give you a really hard workout – like running in deep sand.
Now I’m going to go back and see if you explained what the hell mud-running is.
trixie larue
@LG Rooney.
Don’t know if this is what you are looking for, but check it out:
Go from couch potato to running 5k in 10 weeks.
Mud running sound like horses who love running in the mud – Kramer from Seinfeld.
Rob
Pavarotti made a serious effort to reach out across genres, singing with Sting, Spice Girls, Elton John, and a host of others. He had a ball doing so. “Pavarotti and friends” on youTube …
LGRooney
Okay, have a look at this. This will be the second event for which my colleagues and I have signed up. This will give you an idea of what mud running is albeit a more extreme version. I’m going to do it, however.