Wedding was lots of fun, and I’m home prepping for the inevitable late night as the usual suspects wander over. My house, despite the fact that it is inhabited by a cranky misanthrope, is kinda sorta the safe house party house of last resort. Which I like, because I like people on my terms.
I’m making up an Irish coffee and cranking some tunes.
On the down side, I think Rosie picked up the kennel cough that Ginny and Guesly were treated for last week, as she was horking and hacking. Fortunately, my vet and his partner will be one of the folks stopping by. Just have him do a quick look at the bitch and schedule an apt. for Monday.
*** Update ***
Thought I would post some live action pet pics from a late night at the Cole household:
Tunch:
Lily:
Spawn of Satan Rosie:
sean
get that bitch taken care of !
The Dangerman
Wonder what the Vet’s diagnosis could be? Perhaps:
“Mr. Cole, a hork is a hork, of course of course,
and no one can talk of a hork, of course,
that is, of course, unless the hork…”
Edit: Poor Tunch; IIRC, he “likes” the Vet so very much.
M. Bouffant, Confirmed Bachelor
So, J.C. is the last guy in the party clique who’s unmarried & childless. Hoping (for his sake) someone nice stays to help clean up.
Yutsano
The puns shall be early, they shall be often, and they shall be numerous.
Roger Moore
So Cole’s house is sort of The Fed of party houses. Everyone would really prefer not to go there, but it’s nice to know it’s available when everybody else says “fuck that, we’re not letting you party here”. That should mean you wind up with the worst parties, since nobody is afraid to host the respectable ones.
scott (the other one)
Just heard Television’s cover of “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” for the first time. I would have sworn I’d never again hear a version I liked. Glad to know I was wrong.
Frankensteinbeck
Don’t worry about it, Cole. Rosie’s finally spitting up the hippopotamus she swallowed.
Non-Existent Patricia
Who knew there were hippopotami (hippopotamuses?) in WV? I blame Obama for failing to pass cap and trade.
Beauzeaux
Kennel cough is extremely contagious — on the other hand dogs get over it real quick with no damage.
Lurleen
So your vet has two heads?
jane from hell
>>Just have him do a quick look at the bitch
Have him look at Rosie too, while you’re at it heeeey!
MonkeyBoy
I really hate the word “partner”. Do you mean business partner, boy-friend, or girl-friend? If you find the last two terms belittling and sexist because they contain “boy” and “girl”, then you could use politically correct terms like life-partner, pelvic-partner, or foock-buddy.
ant
I never worried about kennel cough with my dog.
She got it a few times when she was a pup when i took her to the dog park….. and got over it quickly. never was a big problem.
My bud shielded his dog, and worried about it. His dog got it every time she went to the park. seemed like.
Some coughing aint a big deal imo.
Linkmeister
jane from hell @ #11, that link’s funny. Thanks.
burnspbesq
If you want to read a book that will leave you hopping mad, check out “The Conservative Assault on the Constitution,” by Erwin Chemerinsky.
John Cole
They’ve been together for seventeen years but are not married. We actually had a talk tonight about making a group trip with all of us going up so they could be married.
Yutsano
LILY & ROSIE R SHOOTING U WITH THEIR LAZERZ!!
jl
“My house, despite the fact that it is inhabited by a cranky misanthrope”
But it is ruled by the pets. And they set an interesting, dare I say Dickensian, tone.
jl
Thanks for the pet pics, Cole. You big softy.
On my computer, right beneath the pet pics was an animated ad for some vacuum cleaner. Looked like it was cleaning up after… well… you know who was the third and last, but my no means least, pic.
Might be an omen. Keep an eye out and take precautions, just sayin’.
Like for instance, put some shorts and flip flops on if you have to clean up something.
Edit: by the way, I must be doing something right. For awhile seemed like I just got ads for baldness tonics, loans for people with bad credit, and similar low class insulting stuff.
Now, I get an ad for genyoowiine diamond rings and and vacuum cleaners (for my huge fancy house!) like I was a respectable person!
JGabriel
Roger Moore:
It’s the not respectable parties that are the most fun, dude.
.
Jewish Steel
Lily = unpleasantly alarmed.
Rosie just called you John Galt Cole. Chuckling to herself.
freelancer
Happy thoughts for the newlyweds!
Could use some good thoughts for the memory of a friend of mine who took her own life last night. Angelique Dewale was a troubled soul who was in such pain, she decided some time friday evening that she’d had enough of this, and took her own measures to ensure that she wouldn’t wake up to see another Saturday. I met her only in April of this year, but I knew and liked her instantly, a radiant smile, a pained, but effervescent personality, she had the gift of listening, to make anyone talking to her feel like they were gifted and brilliant and funny, and now she’s gone. She had no idea that the tomorrow she couldn’t see would leave so many people in her life, no matter how distant, just completely wrecked. I’m disappointed in her for quitting, even if I can empathize and understand why. I grieve for her, and for the tomorrow she couldn’t see. I weep for the September she could have seen and for everyone that knew her even better than myself. She will be missed more than she’ll ever know, and that her pain and her struggle outweighed those condolensces, I find that to be the most irreconcilable tragedy. Sorry to shit on this thread, but I’m a hot mess and I love you guys and I’d give you all up if I could chat with her once more, but that’s gone now. It’s been a horribly terrible day for me, but there’s always tomorrow. And the next day. And the one after that. That’s how it gets better, or at least,a little bit easier.
Love,
Nick
jl
Cole says good parties at his house. But he is a fussy neatnik. The pics of his house look neat. Are the house pics he posts carefully aimed? Or he only invites fussy neatniks who are always careful about coasters, and if the glass is in the coaster, and run to wipe up a wet ring on the wood, and politely ask for a grocery bag a few minutes before they hurl, and know what to run for in the kitchen to put on the drop of wine they spilled, and always do a ‘great save’ when their ooorduurrrvs fall off the plate.
Not sure it all ads up.
I demand a candid camera video of a Cole House Party. Otherwise, I smell yet another Balloon-Juice a blogger scandal brewing.
But maybe Cole just gets plastered so he don’t care and starts cleaning all day the next morning.
Which is it? If it is parties full of fussy neatniks, I would not fit in. But, hey, I’ll promise to stay out in on the porch when Cole throws the big bash for all the commenters.
jl
freelancer – June 26, 2011 | 1:57 am
Sorry to hear that. My condolences. Good luck picking up the pieces with friends and family.
robertdsc-PowerBook
Love all the pets. Thanks, John.
Anne Laurie
In case you actually read this, John, congratulations on Rosie’s new crate-enhanced lifestyle!
Imagine all the stress & hard words that could’ve been avoided if only somebody had listened to their sadder-but-wiser elders when she first joined your household…
P.S. Dogs want a crate that fits their egos. For most dogs, this means one just large enough for them to turn around & get comfortable. Rosie, however, perceives herself as being larger in spirit than in (padded) corpus.
You have not seen ludicrous until you’ve watched a Great Dane work at inserting herself into a cocker-spaniel-sized crate. As the youngest of her pack, she thought of herself as a tiny, petite little princess.
Mnemosyne
@ freelancer
I’m so sorry. G lost his best friend to suicide in 2000, and he said that Night Falls Fast by Kay Redfield Jamison really helped him through it and made him understand that there was very little he could have done to save his friend. He still wonders, though, what would have happened if he hadn’t been out with me that night and if D had tried to call him.
Mnemosyne
Tonight, G said, “Fuck it, leave the bedroom door open, I don’t care anymore if the cats come in.” He’s always been against it because he wakes up wheezing if a cat sleeps on his head (and they always want to sleep on his head), but we’ve been having a nightly struggle with Keaton and still haven’t been able to figure out what triggers him to wake us up in the middle of the night.
We’re still going to keep the door closed during the day, though. Keaton is way too much of a puker for us to be comfortable giving him unsupervised access.
Linkmeister
@ freelancer:
About all you can do is take care of yourself and the rest of her friends. If suicides could be made to realize how big a hole they leave behind they might not be driven to do it in the first place.
SIA
@ freelancer, sending out a wish that Angelique’s spirit is bathed in light. (and I believe it is). And that you find some peace and healing. I’m so sorry.
jane from hell
@freelancer:
I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. You are never alone, no matter what it feels like.
All around us people are dealing with excruciating pain and sadness, and sucking it up because they have nobody to talk to. Or because they know that nobody can help them. (Remember that when someone cuts you off in traffic.)
I spent the evening with a friend dying of ovarian cancer. It’s been a year and a half since her diagnosis, which was quite out of the blue. There have been times when she would rally, but this isn’t looking like one of them.
Over all that time, we’ve had a lot of conversations about knowing when it was time to stop fighting. We both believe strongly that if we can help a pet out of a miserable set of choices, it should be no different for humans. It’s a complex issue when you throw in religion, superstition, and legal precedent.
Like so many things, a friend’s decision to end her life really has nothing to do with us, and we will never really understand why they did it, and there is (in all likelihood) nothing we could have done. And in some cases, they have made an informed choice.
I hope you find peace with the decision your friend made.
Mnemosyne
Also, too, a lesson from “The Ballad of Nessie” short that’s going to be showing in front of the new Winnie the Pooh movie: keeping a stiff upper lip is not always the best way to go. Sometimes crying really does make you feel better (and can have unexpected results).
Anne Laurie
Freelancer: My condolences. You’ll be in my positive thoughts.
Lojasmo
TL/DR: all you pets are obese. Get to work.
@freelancer: wow. Sorry.
freelancer
Thank you for your kindness, in both word and thought. I may find peace someday and quicker than most. I get the rhyme and reason of her action, but as of right now, the trauma of her absence is for me, no less severe. If I’ve learned anything today, it’s that I am completely incapable of selectively putting anyone through the depth of what I’ve felt today, no matter what kind of temporary funk I might choose to label as “being down” or “low self-esteem” or “depression”, I do not possess the mental faculties to blind myself to the hurt I might cause by giving up. Right now, there’s just the unreasonable blade of grief, and it fucking stabs, and there are no answers or immediate remedies. I can’t help it, I feel no solace. I just want my fucking friend back. If I couldn’t have had that, I just want to be able to have told her goodbye and how much I’ll miss her.
JenJen
When my sweet Strider was a baby, he had the worst case of kennel cough I’d ever experienced. He’d been vaccinated but still picked up a nasty case somehow, and it just wouldn’t respond to any treatment from my vigilant and wonderful vet. He would hack all night long and I’ll never forget that godawful sound. Many sleepless nights over that. Looking back it was probably the most frustrating part of his puppyhood.
I miss him so much.
Lord Stanley the puppy is now 14 weeks old, losing his milk teeth, is as cute as any living creature can be, and is entering the terror months. Between four and six months is really why “the puppy year” can be so hard. Goes by fast though and then you’re sad when it’s over.
I’m so freaking happy for Rosie I could just squeeeee! Yay for what you’re doing with and for her, Cole.
Crusty Dem
@freelancer
Sorry. My mental thesaurus looks for a better phrasing than “that sucks” and fails. Been there, wish you well.
We had an attempted raccoon break-in tonight. A courageous one found a way to loosen an old neglected, never used cat door. As our 85 lb golden/poodle sat upstairs listening intently, our small cat went full Rambo and fought it out of the house. There’s a massive pile of her fur by the door, but I can’t find a scratch on her; though during the melee it sounded like I’d be picking up sundry pieces of her throughout the house.. Tough kitty.
JenJen
Missed the edit window! Here’s young Lord Stanley at 12 weeks. And at 14 weeks. He’s getting taller and longer! I’m amazed at how long his neck is getting, especially.
Oh, and here he is, expressing his displeasure that in the year of his birth, the freakin’ Boston Bruins won the sacred Cup that is his namesake. NOT COOL.
I have no idea what this sweet little mutt will end up looking like, and that’s what makes adopting a shelter mutt so damned much fun.
amk
Spawn of Satan / Rosie to john – why don’t you go fuck yourself, john, you preek ?
jane from hell
Freelancer, there is a HUGE difference between “temporary funk” and capital-d Depression. You cannot underestimate Depression. That shit is like chronic (physical) pain to its sufferers. Its outcome at best, as far as modern medicine has progressed, is periods of relief, eventually to be interrupted by another spiral down into blackness.
Sadly, we don’t seem to be any closer to understanding it, or how meds work (and why they fail when they inevitably do).
Timothy Trollenschlongen (formerly Tim, Interrupted)
Good lord, in that pic Rosie really DOES look like the spawn of Satan.
Good thing she’s fixed. She IS fixed, right Cole?
TuiMel
freelancer, I am sorry for your loss and hope you can at some point find some peace regarding your friend’s suicide. She obviously meant a lot to you and your sorrow is compelling. I know words from a stanger cannot give comfort, but I wish that they could.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
freelancer, you have my sympathies. That said, I have a response, as one of the severely depressed:
I know how much hurt my killing myself would cause other people. Basically, that’s the only reason I haven’t done it by now. I wonder, though, how long I’m supposed to suck up that hurt and live so miserably in order not to hurt them. Am I expected to do it forever, even if nothing improves in my life? By rejecting over a thousand job applications over the last four years, the world as a whole is telling me that it doesn’t want me, at least not enough to want to compensate me for the good I allegedly provide. At what point does that general sentiment overwhelm the particular sentiment of a few people that love me?
I understand why you are angry. I’m not even asking you not to be angry. But at least stop and think about what you are asking the severely depressed people you know to do in order to spare you. To me, it often feels as if I am the sacrificial lamb that others stake out, for me to take the suffering so that they do not. It builds a certain resentment into my life.
On the other hand, I do now share my house with The Cutest Kitten in the World. Here he is trying to figure out how to floss his teeth. And trying to ensure that I cannot read what’s on my monitor.
JenJen
@freelancer: Wish I had the right words. About two years ago a coworker and dear friend exited this world the same way, and so I do know the pain, and the shock. Somewhat.
Takes time, my friend. In between it just hurts.
Kobie
Tunch looks like the goddamn Godfather in that picture.
Kobie
@ Freelancer: Very sorry for your loss. You and her friends and family are in my thoughts.
burnspbesq
@Freelancer:
So, so sorry. Hang in there.
Anne Laurie
JMN, Keep reminding yourself: A job is not a life. What you are doing, right now — among a myriad other things that those of us who know you only through the intertrons can’t quantify — is providing a good life for several cats, some of whom might never have known one without you. And sharing the IRL network of ‘a few people that love‘ you, probably more than you are aware of. And, finally, making an unknown number of readers a little bit happier, a tiny bit more thoughtful, when we read your stories about the late sainted Eddie and now Harry and the rest of your life. Paid compensation is a part of life, but no matter how high the salary, what you do for money should not be confused with your personal worth.
(Yeah, I know that’s hard to hang onto in this society, especially when one’s biochemistry seems to be actively trying to ensure its own noncontinuance, but: Very, very few people ever say on their deathbed, “If only I’d had the chance to spend more time at the office!”)
freelancer
JMN, I’ve followed you and your ups and downs wrt unemployment for quite a while. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and the hurt that you’ve not been able to shake for some time. I don’t know what it is to walk in your shoes, and I don’t know if I’d possibly have something different to say if you caught me on a different day, but right now, I’d implore you to keep slogging through it. Keep making choices. Keep moving and persist in having a say in the the world around you. Because all of us will succumb to death eventually, and once we do, we’re out. We’re done and irrelevant, even to our tiny corner speck of the Universe, there’s no backsies. The finality of it might sound alluring, for in that sleep of death what dreams may come, etc, but I can only say make it count, and keep making decisions, and know that your choices matter, most of all to yourself, but that also that they carry a gravity unseen by you in everyone you interact with. Stay here, stay with us. On paper you think you might not matter, but that’s paper. It’s literally a tree that a group of humans ground up and smashed and flattened and dripped this black gooey stuff called ink onto. It has the status that you (and others) imbue into it, and only that. It’s cheap to say “Find a way around it”, buy my advice is keep trying and if that doesn’t work, alter a tactic and try some more. There’s more peace, for you, and for yours in passing away with a few emotional regrets and a ton of recorded failures than regretting everything, counting hypothetical speculation as failure and throwing in the towel. JMN, if I could say anything to Angel tonight it would be that
“You can’t give up. You’re not allowed. I’m not that strong a person and I’m not quitting anytime soon. I’m not you, but you’ve been through a helluva lot more than me. You’re a better person than I am and even if you’re a fry cook, the world is better off with you in it. I can’t let you do this without hearing me out, and then, once I’m done, if you’re still out, know that it will devastate me, just rip a hole right through my life. That hurt and pain you feel inside? You should know that you’ll be fostering that darkness in those that love you the most. In your hurt, you’re transforming into the therapist’s equivalent of a supervillain. Yeah, it sucks, but do you realize the thermonuclear suck you’re about to unveil on everyone that’s known you for more than 10 minutes? You can’t do this, not in good conscience. You’re not allowed. You’re too loved.”
So, I do sympathize, but you’re alive right now you silly man, and bravo to you for keeping the darkness at bay for you and your family and friends. It ain’t easy, but nobody’s gonna be better off if JMN just decides he’s not gonna be around anymore. JMN most of all.
bmaccnm
@freelancer (and others)
I have struggled with depression my entire life. Only the idea that I might cause my son pain has kept me from ending what is really a waste of carbon. I’m sorry for your pain-obviously, you cared about your friend, and you may have been the only warmth in her life. But the pain of knowing, of understanding in your soul, that you are worthless is too hard
freelancer
I doubt I was the only warmth in her life, but thank you for saying that. We initially bonded because we have similar personalities in terms of we both felt the dull crush of self-loathing and sometime depression and I’d struggle (and still do with a self-perceived sense of worthlessness) and depression related issues from time to time. Why do you think I spend so much time on this blog aiming for the funny?
Just as “I know, and understand deep down in my soul that I am worthless”, I also know in my mind and through the words of people close to me in life that I am SO NOT worthless. It’s like thinking with your gut that every inclination you have is wrong and a waste of time until you realize your gut has shit for brains. It took me years to fight my way out of the irrational self-annihilation that is thoughts of self-destruction. That’s not to say they don’t crop up still, but I don’t give them credence unless there is real world evidence for such self-correction. I feel why she made the decision she made, and tonight and this week I’m trying to reconcile that there’s really nothing I could have done. That if it hadn’t happened Friday, it would have been tonight or next week, etc. All I’m saying to those of you out there hurting is to think of those people you don’t consider “worthless”. Those people doing big things and doing an amazing job of allegedly keeping it altogether. For the most part, they’re not, and most would understand, and they will be willing to listen and help if they can. If not, they will miss you and be regretful that they couldn’t listen or at least attempt to ease your pain. Reach out. You only need to stretch halfway.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Thanks. I understand that much. One of the breakthroughs I’ve experienced over the last few years is truly internalizing that my situation is not my fault. There’s nothing wrong with me that really reflects upon my personal worth.
The diagnosis of Asperger’s was really the last piece of that process. A whole lot of the problems I deal with on a daily basis are the result of my brain not functioning right. (And, yes, unlike a lot of other people at the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, I really do feel that my brain doesn’t work right. If the vast majority of people had Asperger’s and it was everyone else that was the exception, then it would be their brains that don’t work right for the world they live in. It’s not a value statement, just one of practical problems.) I didn’t do anything wrong as a kid that caused me to fail to develop skills. My parents didn’t do anything wrong in treating me like a kind of odd regular child, since the first paper on Asperger’s in English wasn’t published until I was in high school. It’s no one’s fault. It just happened.
However, what I’ve learned is that the world can be wrong and I can be right, but the world wins. Paid compensation may be only a part of life, but it is an essential part. Without money, you die. It’s that simple. Right now, my compensation is coming almost entirely from my parents, who are supporting me. My father is retiring next year, and at that point, it will be their retirement accounts that I’m draining. Taking their money like this makes me feel like a leech; it’s better than the alternative, but very demoralizing. Not being able to get a job makes me feel useless. Not being able to find any success romantically makes me feel very, very lonely. I think that employers and women are all missing out on a great opportunity, but that’s not within my control.
So, it’s no longer a problem of not appreciating my self worth. I think that that’s really damned high. The thing is, I’m really valuable and, on the whole, the world isn’t paying me nearly enough, in cash or companionship, to approach what I’m worth. I’m getting ripped off. I feel like the hero of an Ayn Rand novel, god help me: the world is full of moochers and parasites, and I have a strong urge to go Galt. If someone can come up with a less terminal way to do so, I’d be glad to take it. So far, none has come along.
The Fat Kate Middleton
TissueThin Pseudonym:
:
What a hard, hard lesson that is to learn … and a necessary one, unfortunately, that few get. You have my complete admiration for your insight and courage. Speaking as the grandparent of a little guy who was identified last year (at age 5) as an Aspergian, I know that your parents willingly and lovingly accept the support they are able to give you. If I were asked to give everything I possess to ensure our boy’s future, I would do so in a heartbeat.. He is the joy and the light of our lives. Asperger’s children have so much to offer the world, and in my experience as a teacher to many of them, I believe the world is slowly coming to recognize this.
NB – you obviously have terrific writing skills. Hope you’re sharing those in other ways than on this blog.
Anya
@freelancer ~ I am sorry about your loss. Words fail when something like this happens, but time heals. Take care of yourself.
@JMN and bmaccnm ~~ I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. I can’t comprehend what you’re feeling and how hard it’s for you to continue fighting. That’s why I will fight the instinct to give advice or suggest resources. I am sure you’ve thought about all that and explored most of it. All I can say is that you’re in my positive thoughts.
DogMom
A teaspoon of honey might help to sooth the pup’s cough – One of my girl’s had a persistent cough in the fall, but really wanted her honey in the morning and it did help to quiet her down.
Ghanima Atreides
TTP:
as a fellow aspie, I have never considered offing myself. It seems messy and wasteful.
but you are still right. My biggest problem is that the Stupidity of the Wrong pisses me off so much that I become incoherent with rage. You are beautifully coherent. That is quite a gift for an aspie.
And Ayn Rand kills brain cells. Although you do have a few extra to spare for experimentation. ;)
@Cole
All those animals are too fat. You are shortening their lives.
Joy
Every time I see a picture of Rosie she reminds me of my Chloe, a pound rescue and terrier. We can her Miss Evil, Evilness, Shithead, and Pure Evil. Amazingly (or not) she answers to all of them, including her real name.
gbear
Suicides see the pain they leave behind as just another reason that they were fuck-ups. There’s no redemption available. So sorry for the loss of your friend.
fitzwili
@JMN
So I am going to offer you the best kind of advice: unsolicited and unwanted!
First of all, you are obviously a caring, compassionate animal lover, one who cares for those that are vulnerable. There are all sorts of horrible people existing in the world, for instance the case of a pharmacist who replaced women’s cancer medicine with filler, in order to resell the medicine on the black market.This was actually used as a plot point on the TV show Archer. That guy gets to walk around breathing and you, one of the good guys, wants to remove yourself? I was recently diagnosed, at a young age, with pretty bad heart disease, which was the result of radiation treatment from when I had cancer as a small child. The one thing that kept me going oddly enough was the thought of Dick Cheney,if he was still around ghouling it up, damned if I wasn’t going to be in it for the long haul too.
I have two pieces of advice. One is fairly simple, take up ballroom dancing. In my experience, the classes will be full of older ladies. They can help you brush up on your social graces, something that can deteriorate after you have been isolated by being out of work for too long. They will probably fuss over you a bit, which never hurts the ego either, and they might have daughters or granddaughters that they want to play
matchmaker with.
The other piece of advice is difficult to hear. You might have to change fields. After four years of sending out resumes, you might have to accept that, through circumstances beyond your control, it is going to be impossible to find work. Go back to school if possible, if that is not financially an option, start working at an animal shelter and start writing. You are a very good writer and there is a great deal of interest in Aspergers right now, you might be able to get a book going.
jane from hell
Too bad depression is so taboo. It would help so many people (obviously) if they knew they weren’t alone.
If you’re not depressed these days, you’re not paying attention.
mclaren
Did Rosie’s head rotate 360 degrees after you took this picture? And did you have to sprinkle holy water on her and shout “The power of Christ compels you!”…?