I want to shake this woman’s hand.
Sometimes you read something so fantastic that it reaffirms your faith in the awesomeness of humanity:
A woman faces several charges after she allegedly sprayed deputies with breast milk as they tried to detain her over the weekend.
The incident occurred early Saturday morning near the Bridgewater Banquet & Conference Center on Sawmill Parkway.
According to the Delaware County Sheriff’s Office, deputies were called to the area after receiving calls about a domestic dispute. When they arrived, a man told them that he had been attending a wedding at the facility with his wife, who had gotten drunk and struck him several times before locking herself in a car.
Delaware County Sheriff Walter L. Davis III said deputies tried to talk with the woman, who was identified as Stephanie Robinette, 30, of Westerville, but she refused to cooperate.
“When deputies attempted to remove Robinette from the vehicle, she advised the deputies that she was a breast feeding mother and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk,” Davis said.
Robinette says that alcoholism runs in her family and that she is going to seek help. Good for her, I say. I certainly hope she gets the help she needs, but I really hope that she’ll never stop spraying people in the face with her breast milk.
You know what? Robinette should join forces with Paula Wolf, the woman who shot blowdarts at people because she likes to hear them say ‘ouch.’ They should start a crime syndicate. The Breast Milk Blow-dart Bandits, we could call them!
Or, or, or she could work security for the lactivists!
Stephanie Robinette and her Breasts of Fury — I like it.
[via Gawker][cross-posted at ABLC]
The Spy Who Loved Me
Yeah, everyone knows that Mothers that breastfeed should tie one on daily. It won’t hurt the baby.
Westerville, once known as “The Dry Capital of the World”, is a city in Franklin and Delaware counties in the U.S. state of Ohio. The population was 35,318 at the 2000 census.
Not for long!
ah, brings back memories.
(Not at COPS, though. Sheesh.)
God no! The last thing the lactivists need is a drunken hooligan giving haters an excuse to hate.
There is simply no good reason for resisting a breast.
About as cool as pissing on a cop, I guess. Shrug.
Trying to imagine how the cop explained that one to his wife when he got home …
If you see no distinction between urine and breast milk, you must have a very sad life.
ETA: Also too, at least she wasn’t driving the damn car.
Mike Kay (Democrat of the Century)
How dare she do something so brazen? Vapors all around.
Heh. I used to work in Westerville. It’s a white-collar suburb of Columbus, Ohio. Go buckeyes … or milkeyes, as the case may be.
Well, I’m off to bed. Maybe this thread will produce some interesting dreams.
Given my bartending history of dealing with drunkies and their accompanying not-cute behavior, I’m not finding what she did all that awesome.
But, big ups to Westerville for making the papers! I have a few friends who live up that way. Go Blue Jackets! Heh.
An eye for an eye…
Mike Kay (Democrat of the Century)
this should lead to a number of apperances on Jerry Springer, Howard Stern, and Geraldo.
I’m going with the ew option. But that may be because I was never breast-fed as a child.
Sarah Proud and Tall
Didn’t John Wayne come from there?
Um…congratulations on the faith restoration I guess?
Breastfeeding woman gets completely drunk and sprays cops just doing their job and responding to a report of domestic violence at a wedding.
Touching reminder of the indomitable nature of the human spirit I’m sure?
I’m with JenJen and Laertes in that I’m failing to see the awesomeness of this. Maybe if I was still 18 and in a fraternity I’d get it.
I’m all for sticking it to the man, but I honestly don’t see anything funny or awesome about a cop being sprayed with some drunk’s bodily fluids.
Used to work in Westerville. When I left it was still dry. Like many military bases used to have bars right out side the gates, Westerville had a few bars right over the city limits so the citizens could still get their drunk on easy enough. Also like a lot of military installations drinking was one of the only things to do and a good reason you drove outside the city.
And it is the only town I’ve been in with it’s own temperance museum.
No one of Importance
Me either. Since forcing people into contact with bodily fluids like breast milk, saliva and blood isn’t exactly a no-risk activity for the recipient.
It’s only funny when I imagine the expressions on the cops’ faces when she whipped out her breast. After that, not so much.
I’m a little perturbed by the number of people here who think that urine and breast milk are the same thing. No wonder our breastfeeding rates are so abysmally low in this country.
ETA: I’m wondering if she made “pow! pow!” noises and pretended to be a fembot from Austin Powers. Because that would be kind of awesome.
Thinking that since it was evolved to be imbibed by infants with little immunity and no stomach for much of anything, it would be closer to tears than saliva in terms of the health risks it poses to others. That said, if every kid did it, I don’t think it would be a good thing, or would lead to a greater acceptance of public breast feeding. Dumb drunk people are still dumb drunk people.
I’m also wondering at what point in the decision-making process one decides that it’s a good idea to whip out your boob and spray the cops with breast milk. And, frankly, I can’t picture the cops not laughing at that point. What else are you going to do?
But, hey, maybe the DA will follow No one of Importance’s suggestion and charge her with assault with a deadly weapon. Because people die every day after being exposed to breast milk. Fact.
Enroll me in the failing-to-see-the-awesomeness camp. My tolerance for trashy drunk people behaving trashy-drunkenly is steadily approaching zero as I get older. It’s why I can’t watch reality TV anymore, either.
I think people are thinking about the cases of infants being infected with HIV after being nursed by mothers with HIV. But unless one of the cops decided to settle in for a nursing session, I think the chance of catching AIDS from being sprayed with breast milk is so small that getting it that way would be proof that there is a God and he hates you.
No one of Importance
Don’t be a fucking fuckwit.
I don’t think we need to turn this into some kind of case about “well the cops could’ve gotten HIV!” or “breast milk is better than urine is better than poop is better than vomit is better than blood.”
To me (and my perspective is likely different since I’ve tended bar for nigh on 14 years now), it’s all about, hey drunk-ass, please don’t whip out that boob and squirt your milk on me. That’s rather disrespectful and socially unacceptable, isn’t it? Are there degrees to how awful something like that is? I’d call it a minor misdemeanor and a good war story for the cop to one-up his bartender with next time he’s at the pub, though.
@Mnemosyne You are right. According to the CDC, the risk of HIV transmission from even a bottle of breast milk is vanishingly small. I think people are reacting more to the ick factor of being sprayed with alcohol-laced breast milk.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
i wonder if that county has a cereal offenders program.
i bet she wasn’t laughing when the officer put her in cups.
domestic violence is bad, but i can’t blame people for being atitter.
isn’t westerville the town in heathers? bust me gently with a breast pump, heather.
she racked up a healthy set of charges, don’t do the apocrine if you can’t do the time, don’t do it.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@31 felanius kootea
i better never catch a single one of these hypocrites ordering a white russian.
Can we just think it’s awesome because it’s bizarre? Is there a consensus at BJ that we’re allowed to have different reactions to things? Just wanted to check before I state that I find it simply odd to be that drunk or to have that reaction but I’d have laughed at reading it too. I find it odd how damn near everything on the internet seems to draw people who wish to earnestly fight with those who may actually think and see things in a way that is not like them.
I imagine it’s a little beyond the point where you wake up in the morning with no memory of the previous night and ask, “I did WHAT?”
You’re the one who’s so terribly concerned about the health of the cops after being exposed to something as dangerous as breast milk, not me:
So perhaps you should follow your own advice and not be such a fucking fuckwit. Lighten up, Francis.
No one of Importance
True. But that’s not the only disease it’s capable of transmitting:
In Australia, spitting on a cop will get you jail time (regardless of infectious status). I guess the magistrates would see breast milk spraying as much the same.
Personally I think this woman should only be prosecuted for being a moron without a moron permit, but as far as being forced to endure exposure to any substance originating inside someone’s body? Including new born babies? I’m agin it. My own mother decided to spare me breast milk, I don’t want some random drunk stranger trying to make up the deficit, thank you.
I can see that someone who has to deal with drunks in her professional life wouldn’t find it quite as funny since you’re thinking of the multiple times you’ve had to deal with similar incidents.
I’m sure that emergency room staff think, “Geez, not another guy with a lightbulb stuck in his ass,” while the rest of us fall about laughing.
No one of Importance
Mnemosyne, how do you get ‘prosecuting someone for assault with a deadly weapon’ from ‘not exactly no risk activity’? The word ‘prosecute’ or ‘deadly weapon’ or indeed ‘illegal’ do not appear in my quote. You made it up, and are now asking me to resile from a hyperemotional position of your own construction. Truly Tim worth behaviour.
Breast milk is low risk, not no risk, and a copy doing their job of controlling drunken idjits doesn’t deserve to have it spattered all over them.
It has to be said….
When breasts are outlawed, only outlaws will have breasts.
Well, gosh, now that I know the cops could have potentially been exposed to chicken pox, I’m totally on your side that this was a health-endangering thing for her to do. Even the slightest chance of being exposed to chicken pox is no laughing matter.
I have no quibble with people being grossed out at the thought being sprayed by someone’s bodily fluid even if I find it funny. It’s the hand-wringing “oh noes, they could have caught some horrible disease from her breast milk!” that I’m finding worthy of mockery, and your pearl-clutching was probably the one that went the furthest.
I think we’re finding out here which ones of us here sometimes laugh at a funeral because something strikes us as absurd.
Or, in Mel Brooks’ immortal words: “Tragedy is when I stub a toe. Comedy is when you fall in a manhole and die.”
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
i am laughing my ass off at this,but i am not saying she doesn’t deserve to go to jail. especially if she gets the sagging judge.
she got her tit caught in a wringer,when to the cans, she’ll cop to a reduced charge,and be sprung again.
no need to be a whiny ass titty baby about it.
Sounds like probably the only real danger to the cop from her breast milk was alcohol poisoning. Now that the Age of Tasing is upon us, I have a somewhat higher threshold of outrage for insults to cops. Getting squirted with boob juice doesn’t really make the cut, imo. I think it’s hilarious and applaud her presence of mind.
Also not really seeing the awesome. She gets drunk, assaults her husband, and then resists arrest in a mildly disgusting manner. If she fended off burglars or something with her breast milk, or she was responding to unprovoked cop harrassment, that might be sort of awesome but I’m really not seeing it in this scenario.
i’m finding out that you and ruemara are two of the handful of people here i’d have fun hanging out with and laughing at ridiculous shit. the rest? not so much.
srsly. the visual is friggin’ hilarious.
I read Cowbelle’s response (#1) and then her (?) username/handle and nearly spurted cereal over on my laptop!
In the movie, Ms. Robinette will be played by Jenny McCarthy.
Heh. ‘Cuz I’m a totally hippy-dippy transman freakazoid, one of my favorite breast related memories (before I had them reconfigured into a more male-like configuration) was 20 years ago, squirting breast milk at one of my best friends during a sky-clad Full Moon ritual. She, of course, squirted back, and our husbands were taking cover on the floor.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
To me (and my perspective is likely different since I’ve tended bar for nigh on 14 years now), it’s all about, hey drunk-ass, please don’t whip out that boob and squirt your milk on me. That’s rather disrespectful and socially unacceptable, isn’t it?
In some societies, it might be regarded as a friendly greeting. Some very messy societies, naturally.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Oh God – she’s a goddamned teacher.
Can you imagine her first class back? She walks in – every kid there is staring at her. There’s total silence for 10 seconds, and then they bring the roof down laughing…
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Or even better, a scenario that has someone saying the following:
“Okay lady – tits or get the fuck out. Yeah – yeah baby, that’s what I’m talking about. Let me see th- hey, wait- what the fu- ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!”
What’s to admire? I feel sorry for any kids she has. Drunks are shitty role models, and lousy, dangerous and frightening parents.
I should know. My mother was this woman for too many years.
jeezus h.q. christ in a Similac bottle.
I can’t even begin to parse the neuroses on this thread.
I’ll just fondly remember my old college roommate at our 10th reunion 12 years ago, when my son was 6 months old (and staying safely with his grandmother, thank you very much), watching me express my post-drunk milk into hotel room glasses and remarking that I could probably sell it to the winos on the streets of New Haven.
No doubt this means I’m a cop-pisser or something. Wev.
eemom +3, breastmilk 0
No one of Importance
Well, my dear, I’m about twenty years past the point where dispersing my bodily fluids on random strangers while in a state of advanced intoxication sounds fun or wise. If your idea of a good time means whipping out the girls and pointing them in anger while Allan the Hall Monitor takes notes for later purse-lipped forwarding to some blog owner to give not one shit about, then I guess I wouldn’t really enjoy your company much either.
I love your posts pointing out social injustice, and support your right to piss off as many people as possible as often as possible. But since you only like the company of those who agree with you unquestioningly even over dubious shit like weaponised breast milk, I’m rather glad I’m never going to be a friend of yours. I prefer people who can take a bit of disagreement without seeing it as a personal assault.
This whole scene amounts to theft from the baby or at least waste of a precious substance. In my experience, milk was not that easy to produce and the volume decreased significantly with the slightest excuse. Human milk should be reserved for the infant and not used for any other purpose.
I am hoping that someone was taking care of the child during all of this nonsense. From here, it looks like that kid has a rough row to hoe ahead of him.
Ivan Ivanovich Renko
“Life is a comedy to those who think; and a tragedy to those who feel.”
Here’s to all the feelers in the room!
(Me, I’m laughing my ass off. Yeah, it’s bad, she’s bad, the poor officers were endangered, the kid’s no doubt going to grow up to be a cereal killer– but fuck, that’s FUNNY.)
Alcohol – laced breast milk, the mother of all foods. Somebody tap those nips!
You should watch the movie ‘Visitor Q’ by Takashi Miike.
Reminds me of this.
mike in dc
That’s hilarious. Half of comedy is based on incongruity, and that’s about as incongruous as it gets.
Westerville~my hometown. Need to see if anyone I know knows Stephanie.
Back off, coppers! I have two fully-loaded tits and I’m not afraid to use ’em!
George Carlin would be proud.
I guess spraying someone with breast milk would qualify as awesome, if it didn’t happen she got shitfaced and started in on some husband beating.
It’s like a Beavis and Butthead post. Alcoholic mother, meh. Domestic violence, meh. Arrested by cops, meh. Breast milk, huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh
Congrats, ABL. You’ve gone from Cindy Brady to Bobby Brady. “Snicker, snicker. Titty milk.”
Grrrl power is SO awesome. And funny!
Tone In DC
This incident brings the B-J outrage (or is it concern trolls)? This woman going lactose avenger on the cop?
She did the crime (assault with a deadly mammary) and she’ll do the time. Save the cringing and tut-tutting for the next set of atrocities from Yemen/Iraq/Libya/Afghanistan/2012 RNC convention.
Will this be called a kinetic boob action?
Um. People who’ve had to deal with drunks in their personal lives are also less likely to be cracking up. The woman says that alcoholism runs in her family and avers that she’s going to seek help, which is a pretty clear indication that she views herself as an alcoholic, which in turn is a pretty clear indication that she drinks to excess regularly. She’s nursing a baby. With booze. While, um, allegedly beating on her husband.
You don’t have to be a prude or a disease phobic to think that despite the admittedly amusing visuals, this situation is pretty fucking sad; you just have to have been around alcoholics a good amount.
White Russian, please!
A drunken women breastfeeding is already making me sad, that she decides to spray someone with anything is just crass.
Allow me to say, she doesn’t stand for me.
judging from the picture, mind-numbing sounds about right.
A breastfeeding Mom who’s an alcoholic, goes on drunken tirades and sprays breast milk on authorities called in to deal with her. hmmmm…Yeah, I’m not seeing the awesomeness here. To be clear, I’d certainly laugh at her. She deserves derision.
Piss, breast milk, whatever. It’s some drunk asshole spraying bodily fluids on the arresting officers. And this is awesome because, what? grrrl power? Or something?
You guys angrily going back-and-forth on the dangers of exposure to breast milk are so wide of the point that I’d suspect you weren’t even aiming at it if you weren’t all taking yourselves so very very seriously.
To be clear, I’d laugh at her. She deserves it.
Oh for fucks sake, lighten up y’all. Yes it’s assholery, yes sad for the kids she’s a drunk but c’mon, you don’t have to live her whole life, just read about the 30 seconds of it that were pretty funny…as someone in law enforcement, breast milk would be a step up from the bodily fluids inam regularly exposed to, and a great story to boob, um, boot…
Damned at Random
The most surprising thing about this story is that it DIDN’T happen in FloriDUH
I think this is probably the best response.
LOL SHE’S ACCUSED OF PHYSICALLY ASSAULTING HER HUSBAND! ! !
It’s a laff riot! A million yuks per second! Nothing funnier than a domestic abuse situation, is there?
THIS IS HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARIOUS
Any more neat stories about drunken domestic abusers? That’s always worth a chuckle, kind of like those corpses piled like cordwood in the Nazi death camps.
The fact that they’re charging her with spraying them with breast milk, one of the most innocuous things on this green earth, is hysterical!
Good to know that no one here takes domestic abuse seriously if the accuser is a man and the accused is a woman, just like the rest of the media. Y’all definitely have a handle on the real issue here, which is whether breast milk can kill cops.
I’ll file that away and make sure to remember it.
“Husband-beater fights with police to delight of liberals, ‘domestic abuse is non-stop comedy’, bloggers chortle”
Like most moral people, I’m just glad this woman is behind bars.
That’s one night, at least, her husband doesn’t have to worry about this asshole getting loaded and beating on him.
Lighten up, guys! She just got drunk and beat on her spouse! That happens on “Mad Men” all the time!
What is this world coming to if we can’t laugh at survivors of domestic abuse? I bet he was “asking for it”!
Let’s try it this way:
Hey, that’s a comedic set-up if I ever heard one! But pretty boring, isn’t it? Some guy beats his wife? DULLSVILLE!
I’m dying to know what bodily fluids he sprayed on the cops, which might make this something worth worrying about.
West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)
Wow, I think we’ve milked this thread for all it’s worth….
@West of the Rockies:
What, no one’s gonna stand up and talk about “awesomeness” and “grrl power” in relation to this woman abusing her spouse?
That’s it, pun delivered, thread over? So it’s not actually “awesome” to get drunk and beat up your husband in public, or even funny? Wow! How quickly people change their mind after, y’know, READING THE STORY.
How about raising her kid in an abusive household? Not “awesome” enough for you, ABL? At least you “hope she gets the help she needs”. (The abused spouse can go fuck himself, I guess?)
Maybe she could drown her pets too and she’d be back in everyone’s good graces.
I hate to say this, ABL, but it seems questionable to applaud what this woman did. Maybe it would make a memorable and hilarious scene in a lowbrow comedy movie, like something from, say, the American Pie or Hangover series. In real life, though, a drunk behaving badly is never funny, as already noted. Neither is domestic violence, whether inflicted by a husband or a wife.
As acts of violence go, a woman spraying people with milk from her breast seems pretty feeble. And the prosecutor had the good sense not to charge Stephanie Robinette with attacking the cops with a deadly substance. That would have been an overreaction. I expect that at her sentencing, the judge will into account take her lack of a previous record and the fact that she’s seeking professional help for her drinking problem.
Thanks for the post, ABL for understanding that sometimes ya just gotta laugh. I loves ya! I mean, really, what kind of wuss calls the cops because someone smaller and weaker, armed only with oozing boobies bats him around a bit? Mewling little whiners. Call me when she lops off his dick and flings it in the bushes by the highway, and I’ll laugh some more!
This is a funny incident in life, performed by person that appears to have a lot of problems. Probably none of us would want to be on the receiving end, watching would probably less than entertaining, but hearing about it? Funny.
It’s called living. It isn’t perfect, it’s not always fun, sometimes it’s heartrending tough but if you can’t laugh at the sometimes silliness, you have a serious problem as well.
I’m with ABL. There are some fun people to hang with on this site, there are also some real tight asses who must squeak when they fart.
@ AAA Bonds
Take a X*n*x dude. Seriously, before you explode.
spraying breast milk: arguably sort of funny
all other aspects of the story: not funny at all
Can we agree on that?
Yeah, anyone want to make a motherfucking guess why I’m personally angered at this?
Here’s a hint: if you think I’m wrong to be this mad, go fuck yourself.
Me? I don’t think receiving, watching, or hearing about domestic abuse is very funny at all.
Hey, eemom, I wonder if this woman’s husband needs a Xanax? You got any prescriptions for him and the mental trauma he might have suffered that night?
Hey, eemom, I wonder if this woman’s husband needs a X*n*x? You got any prescriptions for him and the mental trauma he might have suffered that night?
I bet he’s filled with irrational feelings that need to be suppressed, right? Better pop a pill and shut up, because if he talks too much about this, people might look sideways at him.
Think the kids might grow up with rage issues? Maybe they could pop some X*n*x too, maybe some P*rc*s*ts, whatever works.
@ AAA Bonds
Yes, it’s true — if a drunk man hit his wife, locked himself in the car, and sprayed the cops who tried to arrest him with breast milk from his lactating breast, I would find that funny. Heck, if he wasn’t lactating himself but used a bottle of breast milk that was in the car, that would be hilarious, too. Because — pro tip — breast milk used as a weapon is what the funny part of the story is, not the drunkeness or the domestic abuse.
AAA was beat up by a girl? That’s fookin’ hilarious!
But they’re not separable in this case.
The person in the story is a sad alcoholic who feeds her kid that alcohol — remember what the hilarious flying breast milk is used for when it’s not flying? — and physically abuses her husband.
Nonalcoholic, sober woman losing her shit and spraying an officer with breast milk? That’d be slightly crass but entertaining.
Alcoholic hitting bottom (let’s hope)? Not so much.
For a raving drunk, you have to admit that was pretty quick thinking on her part.
Right, sure. And I bet if a guy got drunk and beat on his wife, I’m sure that’s exactly how it would have gone down, Mnemosyne – exactly the same.
The post would still talk about how “awesome” this guy is and how he should “never stop” his behavior, and would say “good for him” that he’s trying to treat the alcoholism that clearly made him abuse his wife (the same sort of alcoholism that made Mel Gibson antisemitic, made Weiner send crotch pics to women, etc.)
And there’d be tons of posts saying “lighten up” and even defending this guy against police charges, although those charges might be the only thing keeping him from going home and knocking his wife’s teeth out.
And he’d be presented as a hero of “grrl power”, and no one would even mention the word “abuse” in the thread until I commented.
Because no one did mention “abuse” until I commented. Go ahead, check for yourself.
And in a (NO DOUBT HILARIOUS!!!) story about domestic abuse, that doesn’t strike you as strange? At all? That everyone was focused on HIV transmission through breast milk until I mentioned, y’know, the report is that this woman beat up her husband?
Pro-tip: think before posting.
Nonsense. Several people addressed, in various phrases, domestic violence, her assaulting her husband and her beating on her husband before you arrived.
West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)
Hello,AAA… I spent 13 years in law enforcement as a civilian evidence tech (read property clerk) and CSI… I’ve worked to help prosecute lots of domestic violence perps (most of them male, some of the female, from all walks of life, all ethnicities, socio-economic backgrounds, educated and not). Nothing funny about DV. I’ve volunteered time and finances to the local DV safehouse. I haven’t simply slapped a “Support Our Troops” magnet ribbon on the back of my car (so to speak) while doing nothing tangible to support our troops.
Nonetheless, the story does have its comic elements (to many of us). Because we can chuckle does not mean we’re mindless brutes.
Why use the term “breast milk”? Why not human milk? Do we name other milks after the organ that produces them? Who ever heard of “udder milk”?
America is very strange.
Yeah, that kind of took the wind out of the awesomeness sails for me. If she’s guilty of the domestic violence, that’s another strike against her. And if she’s got as much of a drinking problem as she seems to, she more than likely drank while pregnant as well. That’s sad, not hilarious.
And there’s no indication the cops were anything less than professional. However, if, for instance, some cop was being a jerk with her just because she mouthed off at him or she were, say, a participant in a protest march who was being manhandled or disrespected by a cop and she sprayed him with breast milk, that would truly be awesome and freaking hilarious! I’d be the first one ROFLMA. It’s kind of roll-the-eyes and head-shaking amusing as it is, but awesomeness would require an actual conscious sticking-it-to-someone-who-deserved-it element for me.
I thought the weaponized lactation was “so fantastic that it reaffirms your faith in the awesomeness of humanity” not merely a bit of sophomoric humor.
No. The god damned dog in Athens is awesome. This barely breaks the chortle barrier. But it is chuckle-worthy.
hyperbole. look it up.
you’ll note that i also heaped praise on the blowdart lady. do i really think it is fantastic to shoot blowdarts at innocent passers-by? um, no.
like i said. i laugh at ridiculous shit.
heap scorn upon me if you like. i think i’ll manage to survive it!
how dare mel brooks laugh at the death of someone he doesn’t know!
STRING HIM UP.
seriously folks. get a grip.
Most of us can see the humor involved with spraying someone with breast milk. I kind of thought it was obvious here, but let me try and explain why not everyone is seeing this as being as awesome as you are.
I think where you lost some people (like me) was the following key places:
1. This wasn’t a “sticking it to the man” type protest where the attack was justified based on the cop being overbearing, abusing power, etc. Quite the opposite, I find myself very sympathetic towards the cops because the domestic violence calls are hard enough that adding onto it being sprayed with bodily fluids (in addition to the normal uncomfortableness with responding to these situations) really goes a long way towards robbing this of any juvenile humor.
If this was a cop getting what he deserved in a funny way and not a cop being blatantly mistreated by what is, from the description, an utterly drunken, abusive ***** that you’re highlighting as the hero in this little tale then maybe the reaction would be different.
2. Many people don’t really find the whole “baby being forced to drink seriously tainted breast milk filled with alcohol” very funny either.
3. Or this happening at someone’s wedding.
4. Most folks got past the “Beavis and Butthead” style humor years once they left the teens. It isn’t that I’m incapable of getting a small smile out of this, it’s that it is FAR from being so unbearably funny as to outweigh the fact that this is a pretty sad case here.
Basically, a lot of people are able to see just a LITTLE beyond the “OMG she whipped out her can and sprayed someone with breast milk. HILARIOUS!” It’s just a touch amusing, but way overwhelmed by the kind of nasty parts of this little tale combined with your “this woman ROCKS” delivery of something that, if a guy did something similar, would be not at all be funny.
Thanks for the tips, Jim. I often say that I have the mentality of a four year old, so perhaps that will go some way to easing the cognitive pain I have caused by being highly amused by this tale.
perhaps, someone has an encyclopedia to which i could refer that might lay out in detail what is or is not funny, what words i can use to describe what i think is funny, and how many people have to pile-on to tell me something ISN’T funny and by the way, you’re sooooo immature, until i get taken out in the backyard and shot like a lame horse.
Sure, you could do that. OR you could not get so upset that your sense of humor is non universal that you need to lash out by telling people that they are lacking a sense of humor, unfun, need to get a grip or whatever. (As you have in your replies in the thread here.)
Either way works. Personally, I think the approach that involves not needing to lash out at the people reading and commenting on your contributions to be the better one to take.
thanks jim. i’ll keep that in mind for the future.
No one of Importance
Uh oh, scratch Jim from the guest list of ABL’s next spray and tan pool party.
Oh. Come. On. She sprayed a cop with her boob milk. It wasn’t like she sprayed him with bullets. I swear to Gahd, Americans are so f*cking uptight anymore. You people need an enema.
(Gasp! She said “enema”!)
I actually know her personally. She isn’t a bad person.. She just made some bad decisions.