[This is an old post I thought I’d share with the class. -Not!ABLxx]
That smelly vagina is holding you back, ladies.
Wow, really? REALLY? It is 2010 and some asshats at an advertising agency actually greenlit this ad campaign which suggests that a clean vagina is most important for confidence at work? Who the…?? What the…?? Why the…?? How the…?? Where the fuck?!?!
This ad campaign is so unbelievably sexist — so utterly ridonkulous — that I figured it must be a joke. I mean, Summer’s Eve cannot possibly be suggesting that a woman’s stinky vagine may be preventing her from grabbing that brass ring. Not in 2010. Maybe in the 1950s. But not in 2010.
Well, it’s not a joke.
Here it is. Read it, weep, and then go clean your vagina:
Just so we’re clear, here’s how you can be better equipped to ask your boss for a raise:
1. Clean your stinky crotch. Preferably with Summer’s Eve products. If you can’t remember anything else, remember to clean the old axe wound.
2. “Just as important: Be sure to eat a healthy breakfast.” So, first, clean cooch. Second, don’t pig out on donuts and be a big fatty fatterson. And after breakfast, you might want to clean that vagina again. Just to be safe.
3. “Leave early. You don’t want to be late on a day when someone will be thinking about your performance.” I’m not even sure what “leave early” and “don’t be late” mean. Does anyone know what that means? Black women get a 15 minute window, right? BPT is a serious medical condition.1
4. “Go over your calendar from the past year, look through old files and emails. Jot down a list of all your important contributions and accomplishments.” Write down “My vagina is so clean you could eat off it” as your number one accomplishment because let’s face it — nothing else is important.
5. “Bring quotes from higher ups to the meeting, such as “Great Job on XXX Project! You made me look good.” What the hell does it mean to bring a quote to a meeting? What sort of company doesn’t have a formal review process? Are you just supposed to bring a notebook of shit people have said about you? “For a good time call old Stank Crotch.” Should you have your boss’ name doodled in hearts? What the hell? Just… WHAT?! Who wrote this ad?!
6. “Don’t be afraid of silence. Effective negotiation requires using strategic pauses. These valuable moments allow your point to resonate and give you time to gather your thoughts.” Yeah, lady. Shut your sconehole. Quit talking so much. All you do is talk talk talk: “I want a raise.” “I’m doing the same work as Bob but Bob gets paid more than me.” “My vagina is really clean today, would you like to smell it?”
7. “Don’t let the conversation stray or get personal.” Oh heavens to Betsy! Business is business, ladies. Don’t talk about your little crumbsnatcher and how he is principal carrot in the school play. Don’t talk about your feelings or your personal problems. And for the love of Bieber, do not talk about your dirty vagina.
8. “Focus on the things that you’ve done to improve the bottom line. Today it’s about your worth to the company.” It’s also about how clean your vagina is.
So, that happened.
I don’t know who signed off on this and I don’t know who at Woman’s Day thought it was a good idea to put this insanely offensive and sexist ad in a magazine geared towards women.
Don Draper could have come up with something better than this. Back in the 1950s… when women were supposed to be seen and not heard. And definitely not smelled.