This fucking guy is going to cure you of your gay? Not bloody likely. He’s going to make your gay gayer.
Got some gay you’d like to rid yourself of? Dr. Marcus Bachmann is standing at attention, ready to serve you. You see, he thinks gay people are barbarians, and they need to be spanked disciplined:
We have to understand: barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined. Just because someone feels it or thinks it doesn’t mean that we are supposed to go down that road. That’s what is called the sinful nature. We have a responsibility as parents and as authority figures not to encourage such thoughts and feelings from moving into the action steps…
And let’s face it: what is our culture, what is our public education system doing today? They are giving full, wide-open doors to children, not only giving encouragement to think it but to encourage action steps. That’s why when we understand what truly is the percentage of homosexuals in this country, it is small. But by these open doors, I can see and we are experiencing, that it is starting to increase.
You must be tough with gay barbarians —
— and you need to educate and discipline them.
Discipline them hard. Make sure you ride them day and night until you make them less gay — even if you yourself have to dial up the gay to an unreasonable level — say eleventy — to get them to be less gay.
You have to think gay to fight gay, is what I’m saying people, and you have to fight gay with gay.
You have to get alllll up inside their —
— heads.
IT JUST MAKES SENSE.
Oh, their heads — their pretty little heads with those luscious wavy locks blowing gently in the breeze like amber waves of grain…
I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Right. Larry Craig Marcus Bachmann:
Here’s Marcussss:
Oh fiddlesticks… my mistake.
Here’s Marcusssss:
So remember, if you suffer from an acute case of Teh Gheigh, make sure you visit Dr. Bachmann’s clinic — he’ll beat the gay riiiiight out of you, even if it takes all night.
And when you do pay him a visit, can you tell me if you can actually hear a swishing sound when he walks? Because sweet Mary Mother of Gay, homeboy is gayer than the holidays:
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
UPDATED: Even Cher’s gaydar is going PING PING PING PING!
Q.E.D.
[via Rump Roast]
(Special thanks to Betty Cracker! The motivational image is kick ass = win.)
[cross-posted at ABLC]
AAA Bonds
But can he cure Rick Perry of the gay before a campaign staffer gets his no-nos tickled?
FIND OUT NEXT WEEK, WITH THE REAL, ACTUAL AMERICAN NEWS MEDIA
WereBear
One thing for certain, this post is really rocking the Gay Getaways ads… and that rainbow one that says: Homosexuals are a race! Homosexuality is a gender!
I’m afraid to click on it, can’t tell what it might be. But the whole Would you like to know more? Starship Troopers vibe at the end is freaking me out.
arguingwithsignposts
Suggestion: the “Read More of This Post” divider is our friend.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
please tell me there is a gay comedian/performance artist who has taken up curing heterosexuality.
if not, there should be, and i bet there is good money in it.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
Wait, what, back up the truck for a minute here because, um, I’m a little confused by the verbiage. What the heck does “action steps” even mean? Does this mean they are now openly selling gay action figures in the stores? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED ABOUT THIS EARLIER! Because I’ve got a Target gift-card with a few bucks left on it which I wouldn’t mind burning to get something as seriously cool as that.
gbear
You really like this story, don’t you? ;)
AAA Bonds
The best Canada Day post I’ve seen from an American so far:
“Thanks for being such a stylish hat.”
Southern Beale
I think the first link in this post is broken.
Cliff
Jesus Christ, what is it with these people? Do you just forget what words are when you start believing in the literal truth of the Bible?
Maybe they have to translate all of their thoughts over to King James Speak and back, so “The schools are encouraging kids to become homosexual” ends up sounding like “Them is giving door to childrens to think practice action make do gay!”
Johnny Coelacanth
Wow, he do give off an effeminate vibe, don’t he? Combined with his consternation over the gay menace, well… I mean, the stereotypes all suggest themselves, don’t they? Poor dumb bastard. Speaking of which, I do wonder which one is the “smart one” in that marriage. They could be equally rock-stupid but I suspect Michelle is the brains in that pair.
WereBear
I never argue with Cher’s gaydar. Because she is fabulous.
AAA Bonds
This, by the way, is the counterpoint to Republicans cutting funding from the humanities and social sciences.
I mean, if all the great works of literature and art and the study of human history and thought are bullshit anyway . . .
. . . well, then, this puffy, sadistic closet-case with an Internet degree in Gay Shamanism is as qualified as anyone to be a therapist, isn’t he? And Michele Bachmann can be President, and . . .
Southern Beale
Oh and before we start calling him “Dr.” Bachmann can we please make sure he’s a real doctor? That his “doctorate” isn’t from some wackadoodle uncredited Bible college?
buckyblue
Gaydar going off to Def Com lavender. How much longer before we hear about the meth and the male prostitute; texting the page boys; a little too long in the showers in high school.
gbear
You know…action steps…like talking, holding hands, smootching, getting a woodie that you could use to crack coconuts…those kind of actions.
Figgy
With all due respect to Cher and especially her son Chazz, doesn’t Dr. Bachmann look a little like Chazz?
SteveinSC
In “Dr.” Bachmann’s case the “cure” is indeed way worse than the disease. Or maybe Physician heal thyself.
WereBear
LOL
Johnny Coelacanth
“Gaydar going off to Def Com lavender”
Lulz, as the kids used to say.
AAA Bonds
Countdown to one of Mr. Bachmann’s male patients coming forward with a “Roman hands” story . . . begins now!
Jimperson Zibb (formerly Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
Fuck. They’re all gay, all of them. Republicans, I mean. Well, that isn’t fair. Some of them are straight, but they’re perverts, like Diaper Dave or that congressman from Pennsylvania who tried to choke his mistress or that green balloons guy from Missouri or wherever it was. And then there are the child molesters. Nobody’s ever going to make me believe John Boehner isn’t a child molester. There’s something about his dead eyes. My guess about Rick Santorum is that he’s gay and he’s a pervert and he’s a child molester. Oh, and he has hot gay sex with billy goats, too. Maybe that already comes under the heading of “pervert”, I don’t know…
AAA Bonds
Please, people, it’s “WITCH Doctor Bachmann”. W.Dr. if you’re short on time.
Professional titles are important for courteous discourse.
Southern Beale
@Jimperson Zibb (formerly Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
Yes, please meet Republican Ohio State Senator Robert Mecklenborg! Got a DUI in Indiana while full of V1agr@ driving with a female “companion.”
Southern Beale
My comment got embargoed again. WTF I’m sick of this shit.
Southern Beale
OK I realized it was the V-word. Sorry. Oh wait, it wasn’t.
Just read the fucking link jeesus.
http://bit.ly/lxkx96
Suffern ACE
@Werebear-
I had no idea there were so many good looking gay singles living in my town. Heck I had no idea there were good looking young people at all living in my town. Where are all these guys when I go grocery shopping.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
From the Daily Beast:
“his training … included a master’s degree at Regent University, the Virginia institution founded by Pat Robertson, as well as a Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Union Institute and University, a correspondence-based school in Cincinnati.”
beergoggles
Obviously his gay cure is like the hair club for men. He’s not just the owner, he’s also a client…
Martin
Yeah, it’s pretty sketchy. Regent for his MA, Union Graduate School for his PhD. Union wasn’t accredited as a distance learning school until 1985. Regent was accredited in 1984. I wouldn’t put either one as particularly more valuable than an honorary degree, to be honest.
LGRooney
@21, Jimperson Zibb (formerly Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
Depends on what the goat is into.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@Cliff #9:
My guess: this is a superstitious taboo-word avoidance thing. Common in primitive cultures. You have to hint indirectly at something bad that you want to talk about because if you say the name of a thing it summons the thing into your presence. Like for example if I were to say “Look out behind you, it’s Dick Cheney and he has a gun…”
Oh SHIT. Everybody run.
AAA Bonds
Ahh, yes. I remember my first action steps.
Cuervo shooters, baby blue Adidas running shorts, Laut Sprecher’s “Omnibus” thumping in the background . . .
Thanks, Herr Doktor. You’ve made an old man very happy today.
Silver Owl
lol Man oh Pete, the Bachmann household is a nuthouse. Crazier married nearly craziest of humans.
moonbat
This is HE-larious. The campaign manager is going to have this guy on 24/7 scandal watch to make sure he doesn’t blow up the campaign chasing some “confused” Christian young man around a convention hotel bathroom.
Drinking Jim Crow
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”
[http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=42f_1190589017]
AAA Bonds
The wack evangelicals always come up with even wacker words to describe their pseudo-concepts. It’s like Scientology sans the soup cans.
More often than not they’ll slap two common nouns together and call it a fucking day. This is a running joke with me and my friends, actually, going back to 2008 if I remember correctly.
We came up with our own, and so far, the only one that’s survived to this day is mine, when I ranted about the saving grace of my “Kingdom promise”.
“Kingdom means . . . kings! and castles!” shouted A. back at me. “And promise means . . . IT’S GONNA HAPPEN!!”
We were delighted to find out that this is an actual phrase used by evangelicals, at least according to Google.
It’s not very funny, I admit, but there’s enough “action steps”-style evangelical doublespeak in the world that we’ve run “kingdom promise” into the ground by using it whenever we find a new one.
Oh, and thanks, ABL. I’m forwarding this to A. right now.
geg6
Good lord. He really is a witch doctor.
How the fuck do you get a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from a goddam correspondence school? Where the fuck do you do your clinicals?
BGinCHI
Herr Bachmann looks like a swishy Buddy Garrity (from Friday Night Lights).
AAA Bonds
Wasn’t the word going around that
1) Bachmann didn’t even get the name of his fake school correct on his C.V. and
2) that school doesn’t even offer a Ph.D. in clinical psych, for obvious reasons noted by geg6 above me?
BGinCHI
@geg, um, you practice on your closeted lesbian wife, naturally.
John O
Just can’t top gaydar alert going to lavender. Hilarious post and comments.
Just look at how far these two went to overcompensate. Don’t they have a 6-pack of kids or so themselves, along with all their foster children?
This post is missing the Clown Show tag.
DKF
Damn! With this video going viral, I sure wish I were in the gaydar repair business right about now. My own high-end unit burst into sparks and flame 10 seconds into Miss Thing’s oration.
Martin
In your gospel-seeded imagination, of course. Ol’ Marcus has been practicing on sinners since the day after he first whacked off to a St. Sebastian woodcut.
AAA Bonds
@BGinCHI:
Yeah, and that is where the tabloids will take this next, isn’t it?
If MISTER Bachmann is gay and Michele is just his beard, well, then . . .
goblue72
Wait, doesn’t this guy’s BS accrediations make him eligible to take Medicaid patients?
Tells you all you need to know about Republicans – the party of the in-the-closet, scam artist loons.
AAA Bonds
@Martin:
I was wondering what we were going to call them now, but you’ve got it: Mrs. Bachmann and Miss Thing.
AAA Bonds
Might also explain why Michele was so genuinely terrified of getting caught in a bathroom with a couple female LGBT activists.
If there are any stories floating around from her time back at William and Mary . . .
Well! Just cry “kidnapping”, of course.
BGinCHI
AAA Bonds, wonder what Michele and Jon Stewart talk about at Homecoming….
JCJ
@ AAA Bonds #32
Is that “Laut Sprecher’s ‘Omnibus'” possibly related to the honorable commenter Omnes Omnibus?
LittlePig
And it’s “wackadoodle uncredited Bible college” for the win!
Thanks for playing!
Martin
He does take Medicaid patients. Michele had to defend herself over why they’re allowing looters into free-market Christian nirvana.
David Brooks (not that one) is a dickhead.
@Werebear
All I got is a pretty little three-year-old girl showing off her Zulily “spring dresses” (this ad is still running?) and the little hussy is clenching her fist and laughingly looking sideways at…
Stop it! Stop it!
(calming down) maybe it’s the “lily” part of the brandname that’s hooking to BJ.
Not!ABL
YES. he absolutely does. nice call.
Villago Delenda Est
You can’t repair an utterly exploded gaydar apparatus.
You have to replace it outright.
It’s the sort of situation Mulder and Scully faced when they put Homer Simpson on a polygraph.
“It’s a violation of Federal law to tell an FBI agent a lie. Do you understand this?”
“Yes!”
BOOM!
LittlePig
@David Brooks (not that one) is a dickhead
I got a cosplay dresses ad the other day. The internet is getting a little too damn nosy.
LittlePig
And who is Kortney and why should I be in awe of her cukecumber eating abilities…well, okay nevermind that last part..
Southern Beale
Well, this explains Michelle Bachmann’s lip-lock on George W Bush at the 2007 SOTU.
And then there’s this:
Bachmann’s Husband Had Failed Government Contract To Provide Christian-Themed Drug Treatment
MazeDancer
Wondering if that mail-order psych degree included a chapter on revelations in photos and images people make unconsciously?
This is an interesting family shot from Bachmann Counseling web site http://www.bachmanncounseling.com/drbachmann/
You don’t see Mommy on the lap that often in business images.
AAA Bonds
@BGinCHI:
The girls in their summer dresses, what else?
jayjaybear
Little Pig – I’m in awe of her cockumber-eating abilities…if I could just disconnect my jaw like that…
Anya
ABL – small quibble but shouldn’t you be crediting Sully for the Bachmann and Corky St. Clair video comparison?
@David Brooks (not that one) is a dickhead ~~ WTF?
eemom
@ WereBear
I keep getting an ad asking if I want to meet gay singles in McLean, which is the next town over from me.
Too bad they’re gay and I’m married. Some of them are teh hawt.
bryanD
Loosen up, girls. Marcus is a teddy bear. The RW bloggers cogitated over this years ago, anyway, ending in a pregnant “and…?”.
PS. Some of you all remind me of the time Sean Hannity snapped on the radio and said he wished he could punch Mister Rodgers in the mouth.
Linda Featheringill
aaa bonds #39
That school does offer a doctorate in clinical psychology according to their website. How good is it? Well . . . .
Southern Beale
Some links would be nice…
Tsulagi
While the double wetsuit, single dildo, self snuffing patriot pastor set the bar mighty high, guessing the good Dr. Bachmann could add another rung higher up the ladder to Peak Perv for the R-bagger socons to climb. I would expect no less in the Crazy Eyes Bachmann household.
BTW…
Ewww. You wrote that “little heads” line for Timothy, right? Sure don’t know about other guys, but I keep the hedge trimmed down there.
Linda Featheringill
maze dancer # 58
Uh . . do you think the young man on the far left is adopted?
arguingwithsignposts
Did anyone *not* think that his degree was from the Close Cover Before Striking School of Counseling and Ministry?
Mike Kay (The Base)
This guy likes to get spanked by Michelle.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
The question is, which
FoundingFondling Father does she dress up as, for these ‘therapy sessions’. I’m betting on John Quincy Adams.cynickal
Hmmm… I’m getting ads for bath houses and window replacements.
Are teh gays breaking into my place to make me fabulous?
eric
To steal from Lionel Hutz: This guy might blow the campaign. Well, replace the word ‘might’ with ‘will lustily’ and ‘campaign’ with ‘male conga line at the Manhole.’
Mike Kay (The Base)
Even if this guy was gay, he’ll get a pass by playing the Jesus card. He come out and say, “I have sinned, but I’ve turned to Jesus and he has forgiven me”, and the matter will be dropped by the fundies and the corporate media.
The mistake Larry Craig made was to stonewall (no pun intended). Politically, admitting a failing and using Jesus as a human shield is always the way to go.
Mike Kay (The Base)
@ThatLeftTurnInABQ: No, Bachmann is a freak. I see her dressing up as Sally Hemmings and engaging in role play as a plantation “overseeer”.
joeyess
@Comrade Collette
They’re using the term doctor verrrrrry loosely, are they not?
Citizen_X
Fake-college diplomas are one thing, but how did this guy get licensed to practice in Minnesota? He gets a correspondence-course “Ph.D.” in fucking clinical psychology, and the state lets him practice on real, live, human beings? And take our Medicare money? What the fuck?
Can I show up at the operating room at the local hospital, slice away at the next poor sap that shows up there until he dies, and collect a heart surgeon’s paycheck? Or is that privilege allowed only to Bible thumpers with mail-in degrees in Levitican Un-fagology?
Mike Kay (The Base)
@eemom:
Marriage? What does marriage have to do wit sex? You’re too smart and independent to shackle your libido to the arcane and anachronistic mores of marriage.
MikeJ
Mike Kay @ 73: This is right. Even if you could prove that he is gay, unless you’ve got photos of him doing it recently, he can say that the fact that he is married to a woman proves that anybody can do it, and therefore gayness can be cured.
Jimperson Zibb (formerly Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
Yeah, but J.Q. Adams wasn’t a founder. Well, not that Bachmann would let a small detail like that get in the way, but anyway, since I want to be nitpicky… Now, I myself am betting on Gouverneur Morris. He had a wooden leg. I just bet these craaaazy old Bachmanns would find something fun to do with that…
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
I guess you missed the news last week then. The list has been revised. Three guesses who did the revising.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
Oh, thank G-d, I am finally getting non-cucumber-swallowing ads – for the Bathhouse Hotel in Vegas and gay singles in San Francisco. Moar of these little cucumbers, please. Much easier on the old eyes.
Also, I think all threads should have Cher updates from now on. Cher is Teh Awesome.
Jennifer
Holy shit. He kept talking all through that first clip, and all I could hear was Big Gay Al saying “I’m just SUPER, thanks for asking!
harlana
Bachmann Bachmann and Haggard
Say cheese!
JCT
@Jennifer
Husband just said the same thing- holy crap, it’s Michelle Bachmann’s Big Gay Husband.
What a world, what a world.
Mike Kay (The Base)
Ya know I could never understand why gays guys used to marry Liza Minnelli. And I realize to some, Liza’s mom was a beloved icon. but still… marriage…
with the wacky eyeliner, is michelle bachman somehow the next gay icon?
Denny
Listening to him talk, and the way he walks and his general physical appearance he reminds me of Cam from the show Modern Family.
harlana
Is it wrong for part of me to actually love the Bachmanns, for providing their special brand of entertainment, a sort of “republican marriage as performance art” gone horribly awry, you couldn’t make this stuff up
The Other Chuck
@Mike Kay
I think you’ve got the wrong Bachmann dressing up as Hemmings.
taylormattd
Holy fucking christ. I thought that guy was pretty damn guy when I looked at his pictures, but motherfucker.
He sounds way gayer than me, and that’s saying quite a bit. What an absolute queen. Poor closeted SOB.
Sad_Dem
The Bachmanns just might be good for years of fun. Think of the Mommie Dearest books their kids will write.
Is it time to bet on when the luggage-lifting, wide-stance scandal will break?
harlana
MazeDancer: That picture is so creepy, he is holding her like a doll on his lap and she is posing exactly like a barbie doll, these people creep me out
SBJules
So this is the one who takes federal funds for his clinic, right?
Bob
My reply button is gone
…
To Danny:
I looked at his phot and thought: the guy who plays Cam could totally play this guy on SNL.
harlana
where does one buy popcorn stands? i’m gonna need one for a while
taylormattd
This post is just full of win, period. How gay am I that I LOVE seeing Cher flip out on twitter about her gaydar.
Rebecca
It’s not bad being a barbarian. You get d12 for your hit dice.
gogol's wife
To Taylormattd #95, I can’t get anything done this afternoon for checking this thread over and over again.
Triassic Sands
It’s pretty obvious that someone in the Dark Ages managed to develop a time machine, because more and more Republicans keep showing up who are obviously benighted cretins from long ago.
Timothy Trollenschlongen (formerly Tim, Interrupted)
Since we’re worshiping Cher, as is always appropriate, may she be eternally blessed, I’d like to take this opportunity to shamelessly plug my artwork.
I just today finished a new portrait of Cher, and I think it is quite nice, actually.
Please check it out at http://timotte.com/ and let me know what you think. I just now posted a photo of the new portrait. It’s on the front page of the web site; simply scroll down a bit to below the first group of thumbnails.
Thanks.
Julia Grey
I love Cher’s attitude, of course, but she has ruined her face, stretching her upper lip so tight over her teeth that she can hardly move her mouth. Faye Dunaway did the same thing to herself. Tragic.
And to continue my curmudgeonly theme,
“Gaydar going off to Def Com lavender”
is indeed very funny. BUT, just so we all remain the brilliantly-informed personages we are, I must point out that the original term this refers to is DEF CON, as in Defense Condition, and it dint have no colors, ony numbers. So there.
Now then. Returning to the topic at hand: yes, Mr. Bachmann is gayer than ribbon candy in a cut-glass dish.
les
Linda F Huh–the only PhD I could find on their site was in “integrated studies.” Yeah, them. But they do offer this:
AZERTY
Personally, this makes it easier for me:
I’m full-on supporting Michelle Bachmann and, hopefully, voting for her for President of the United States.
Why? Not only will she become the first woman president but I think Dr. Bachmann would make a Fab-u-lous First Lady.
eemom
@ Tim 99
I temporarily interrupt our ferocious feud to commend you on your artwork. Very impressive.
Just wanted to caution, however, that if you haven’t already done so, you should make sure you’re on safe legal ground with your celebrity portraits. Not an expert in that area of law, but I know there are cases about misappropriating a person’s image for commercial gain.
See, e.g., http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/using-name-or-likeness-another
Kane
What are the chances that one of the 23 foster kids steps up and talks to the media and reveals what really went on in the Bachmann household? And what are the chances that one of them is isn’t heterosexual?
And it’s interesting that all 23 of the kids were teenage girls.
Nutella
@les
But Union does have a PsyD degree that’s a doctorate in clinical psychology. They say about accreditation:
The program doesn’t seem to take up a lot of the student’s time, but they do work on their clinical skills for 7.5 days over the four years of the degree program.
Nutella
@ Nutella
Plus an internship at a clinic that requires a lot of hours, so maybe the Union PsyD program is fairly respectable.
Any psychologists here want to give an informed opinion?
Trollenschlongen (formerly Tim, Interrupted)
And I cosign the cease fire to accept your compliment and thank you for it. I really do appreciate it. Thank you.
As for the legal stuff, yeah, there’s no problem. There are many artists who make and sell work featuring public figures, as there have been forever, and that seems to be the pivot point: Who is a public figure and at what point does their image, by virtue of its sheer prominence in the culture, become public property and subject to fair use laws. There has been a lot of litigation in the past, but as far as I’ve been able to figure, it is important to:
Not claim a celebrity has endorsed one’s work.
Not present one’s work as that of any person having anything to do with a celebrity.
If work is based on a photo, make sure image is altered enough that it becomes its own original thing (all my work is hand painted so that’s no problem).
I had a lawyer friend look into this when I first started doing this a few years ago, and he said no problem, so I don’t worry about it. Also, I share my work with a lot of the people I have painted, and have never received anything but enthusiastic kudos.
wasabi gasp
Ain’t gay if your wife’s at the other end of the strap-on.
Jay in Oregon
I think “creepy” is a better word. I doubt that happens on accident; so that begs a question…
Sko Hayes
@Tim (I am not typing the rest of that name out):
Your artwork is beautiful, the picture of Cher is really something!
This has definitely been one of the funniest posts/comment sections in awhile. And I am so glad I didn’t try to read this at work.
And of course you all have noticed that Mr. Dr. Bachmann is strangely absent from most photos of Michelle as she travels around Iowa, no? Wherever could he be?
WereBear
I can’t help but think that the trauma of being gay in a Christian household, being tormented by one’s family and oneself, and then being hauled off to Dr. Bachmann to be de-gayed through Jesus has got to be severe.
WereBear
Wish to correct my statement from “Christian household” to “bigoted Xantian household” for more accuracy.
The Pale Scot
the good doctor seems to have a remarkable resemblance Capt. Ned, master of the Raging Queen.
“Captain Ned, I learned from my shipmates, was a very manly, virile, manful person, and a firm believer in strict discipline, corporal punishment, and nude apartment wrestling. How truly strict he was,….” “
The Pale Scot
Just realized some might be too young to know the “The Adventures of Miles Cowperthwaite “
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
..or as we call it in our very, very pedantic household: “felony assault and kidnapping”. Yeah, that doesn’t sound very nice.
gelfling545
Well, you pretty much have to. If you acknowledge that words have actual meanings and still try to hold that everything in the Bible is literally true you end up sitting in a corner, whimpering.
I think you should give this man the benefit of the doubt, however. Years of being married to Michele Bachman had to have taken a dreadful toll.
Zandar
The summer 2012 episode of the Daily Show where Jon Stewart covers Marcus Ohreallyus here being busted for Wide Stancin'(tm) by three minutes of yelling “HOW THE BLEEP DID YOU NOT KNOW, MICHELE?” will be classic. Set your Tivo now.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
One of the “Gay Singles in San Francisco” that the ads are showing me appears to be Prince Harry.
Not!ABL
i credited rumproast which mentioned that comparison. i actually thought of waiting for guffman immediately — he just made it so i didn’t have to find the clip. :) in any event, i’m sure he’ll get over it. :)
Not!ABL
+1
color me impressed! (it’s a shade of brown.)
Nethead Jay
@Kane #104 and @Jay in Oregon #109:
The only explanation I can think of that’s not creepy could be Minnesota placement workers saying, well teenage girls in trouble are probably safe there, husband’s not that into girls…
Trollenschlongen (formerly Tim, Interrupted)
Thank you Sko. I appreciate the kudos. And it’s all for sale! ;D
Trollenschlongen (formerly Tim, Interrupted)
Thank you, NotABL.
Isn’t it wonderful how art can bring us all together? :D
Anne Laurie
Not to defend the Bachmanns, but to a desperate social worker looking to place a possibly abused/acting-out teenage girl temporarily, it might seem there were worse choices than a household where you felt sure Dr. Foster Dad wouldn’t go into her room at night unless he was looking to retrieve his International Male catalogs.
Origuy
Sure it’s not his brother? Willy and Kate are supposed to be in town this weekend.
Oh, and Happy Canada Day everyone north of the border!
gocart mozart
“Dr” Marcus Bachmann more likely has a PHD in “how to lock a closet door from the inside” and not as he claims, in “clinical psychology”
gocart mozart
Cross-posted at Sadly, No!
http://www.bachmanncounseling.com/therapists/marcus-bachmann/
“Education: MA – Regent University, VA
PhD – Clinical Psychology, Union Graduate School, OH”
Union Graduate School? Let’s check it out.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Union_Institute_%26_University
“the Union Institute’s Ph.D. program came under scrutiny by the Ohio Board of Regents in the late 1990s early 2000s, which scrutiny culminated in its 2002 Reauthorization Report. The report was critical of the Union Institute’s Ph.D. program, noting in particular that ” … expectations for student scholarship at the doctoral level were not as rigorous as is common for doctoral work … ” (OBR 2002 Reauthorization Report, page 13) The Union was put on probation. Later, the Union Graduate School was dissolved and the Ph.D. program was restructured. Formerly it had been a Ph.D. in Arts and Sciences. Its name and focus were changed and two other doctoral programs were broken out.”
and,
” While there has been some confusion in the way Ph.D.s are titled, with many Ph.D.s being represented in particular fields, the Ph.D. is and has always been a single Ph.D. and its concentration or specialization areas should not be confused with the degree itself. The titles above are the correct titles for the degree. Aspiring doctoral students wishing to have a Ph.D. in a specific field such a Physics or Spanish Literature will find these in traditional graduate programs but not in The Union Institute and University. The Union Institute and University, by contrast, will be more appropriate for students wishing to avoid the specialization of a field.”
Ph.D. in Interdisciplinary Studies, with concentrations in:
Ethical & Creative Leadership
Humanities & Culture
Public Policy & Social Change
gocart mozart
Surprise! His PhD is not in Clinical Psychiatry because his school doesn’t give out such degrees. I am shocked that a rightwing “Christian” has lied. Shocked I tells ya.
Hogeye Grex
Looking at our subject, I’d have to say a rest stop men’s room off of I-75.
taylormattd
@ Tim 99:
Wow, those are amazing!
moderateindy
I was watching TV with the sound off, and they were showing this guy, I didn’t know what the story was but I thought that he looked very feminine, as far as the way he gestured and carried himself. I nearly bust a gut after turning the sound up hearing him speak and then finding out who he was. To find out who he was in an earlier life watch this clip from Mr. Show. http://youtu.be/lFo8NGO4nTA
Trollenschlongen (formerly Tim, Interrupted)
@taylormattd 130:
Thank you, tmd. I appreciate it. And they are all for sale! May I wrap one up for you? :D
gocart mozart
Is it true that “Dr” Bachmann, in addition to exorcising gay demons from innocent victims of liberal fascism, also plays the character Cam on “Modern Family”?
http://www.aoltv.com/2009/11/25/eric-stonestreet-interview-modern-family-improvising-cam/
Angela
I live in Minnesota. I swear on my three adopted rescue kitties that this is 100% true:
Several years ago on election night, I saw Bachmann at the podium and behind her was a man who seemed (looked, acted, spoke–he was yelling “yes, yes!” in a high voice and sorta lisped), well, gay. I’m a former board member of PFLAG and have known so many gay men, so I felt pretty confident that I was right. He just seemed similar to quite a few of my more effeminate gay friends.
I called a friend in Bachmann’s district: “Who is the gay guy standing right behind Bachmann?” Friend: “That’s her HUSBAND.”
* * *
For you non-Minnesotans: three of Bachmann’s siblings have had letters to the editor published over the years, denouncing her anti-gay comments and saying “she doesn’t represent our family.”
brendancalling
that dude is so gay., he just turned ME gay by looking at him.
Shit. My girlfriend’s gonna be piiiiiiiiiiissed!
sidhra
Attila the Hon?
Svensker
@ Tim I @99
Wow. You are really talented.
Wilda
So I suppose Ann Heche is really not a cured lesbian?? There are two types of homosexuals, genetic or social. Try to keep an open mind here, please! It a fantasy agenda being flung on our society to believe all the crap out there when I see in my relatives and friends lives the truth you won’t spread.