Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans in disarray!

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Everybody saw this coming.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

The willow is too close to the house.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

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78Comments

  2. 2.

    Elie

    hypersalivating —

    heave, heave, heave —

    Ugh —

    Wipe mouth —

    heave, heave, heave

    Wipe mouth, rinse with mouthwash

    seriously…

  5. 5.

    beltane

    Carl Hulse may be shilling for the Republicans but he’s not doing a very good job: They still come across as treacherous assholes who should not even be entrusted to run a church bake sale.

    Up next: Migraine patient severs head, calculating that the physical turmoil caused by decapitation might give him the chance to right ship and start over with a new skull and brain.

  7. 7.

    FlipYrWhig

    @ Narcissus: I think the “fiscal ship” is the Nostromo, and Eric Cantor is that creature that bursts out of the crew’s chests. Plus obviously Mitch McConnell is some sort of arthropod.

  8. 8.

    Davis X. Machina

    The GOP is the party of fiscal probity, isn’t it? And Democrats are soft on defense?

    How long ago was Reagan? 35 years?

    A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it. Max Planck

    Let the dying commence….

  11. 11.

    JCT

    Right, I’ve got it.

    That would be the fucking ship that is listing because some assholes added some unpaid for entitlements that were, in reality, presents to Big Pharma, started two wars of choice and played “fun with numbers” to “pay” for them and gave their wealthy friends new tax breaks.

    Thank g_d we have the Republicans working SO HARD to fix Obama’s mess.

    The gray lady has a bad case of multi-infarct dementia, I fear.

  12. 12.

    AAA Bonds

    They’re calculating about the turmoil that is also on the ship. It’s New York Times complicated.

  14. 14.

    jl

    I don’t see it on the NY Times web page, and no link. This a DougJ spoof?

    Whatever. Anyway, that Nobama sure is in trouble. The GOP has him right where they want him, his fingers all caught in his egghead hyperspace chessboard.

    ” …a Town Hall with my House Representative(Jeff Fortenberry-Rep, 1st district,Nebraska). Except for the city of Lincoln, this is a pretty conservative district-the last time it went Democratic was 1964.
    …
    Boy, did he get an earful.
    …
    The first caller was really upset after hearing Obama said if there was no deal, Social Security checks wouldn’t go out. This affected both sets of her in-laws and both were panicked-one set of them planning to move in with her and her husband. She wanted something done immediately. People needed to compromise.

    Caller two was worried about his stocks and bonds tanking and said Republicans weren’t voted in to screw with people and not make deals.

    Next caller talked about how Republicans never seemed to be willing to work with the other side and pointed out that Ben Nelson(borderline Democrat) voted for Republican stuff many times(way too many IMO) and why couldn’t the Republicans stand up to their party poobahs. ”

    Tue Jul 12, 2011 at 05:42 PM PDT.

    Townhall in Conservative Country-Obama said the magic words
    by Leftovers .

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/07/12/994032/-Townhall-in-Conservative-Country-Obama-said-the-magic-words

    The Democrats sure better worry about that debt and deficit issue, Top thing on voters’ minds, you know.

  15. 15.

    AAA Bonds

    That subhead really does sound like the Republicans are going to attempt to place the country into crisis at a time of extremely high unemployment, so if this is a Republican mouthpiece I would suggest you plan your near future according to your knowledge of human history.

  16. 16.

    Spaghetti Lee

    I dunno, that blurb doesn’t sound particularly complimentary of Republicans to me. It makes them sound more like belligerent and treacherous assholes, which they are. But I guess everybody reads these things differently.

  18. 18.

    Lolis

    Not sure why the media lets Republicans get away with the claim that they are the ones to right the fiscal ship after the last decade. Especially when Republican leadership in Congress has been unchanged. Our media is such a huge failure.

  21. 21.

    Forsetti

    Saying Republicans want to “right the nation’s fiscal ship” is like saying Susan Smith just wanted to “take her kids to the lake”.

  24. 24.

    AAA Bonds

    “That’s not leadership; that is sad and pathetic,” said Representative Allen West, a freshman Republican representing thousands of Social Security recipients in South Florida. He said the president and the Treasury secretary could pay pressing federal obligations out of money still coming in, and if they say they cannot, “Then they are liars.”

    Mr. West is no outlier in the House Republican majority, where distrust of the Obama administration runs deep and warnings of economic Armageddon do not seem to be moving lawmakers toward a compromise.

    Instead, many Congressional Republicans seem to be spoiling for a fight, calculating that some level of turmoil caused by a federal default might be what it takes to give them the chance to right the nation’s fiscal ship.

  25. 25.

    Davis X. Machina

    They still come across as treacherous assholes who should not even be entrusted to run a church bake sale.

    Well, they can’t very well just come out and announces that moderation in the defense of accelerated depreciation of corporate aircraft is no virtue, and extremism in the reduction of top marginal rates of income tax is no vice.

    Not because it’s wrong, or because the rubes won’t swallow it, more’s the pity, but because it won’t fit on a bumper sticker.

  26. 26.

    AAA Bonds

    Let’s do the chinless guy’s magic voodoo plan and let the historians sort it out

  27. 27.

    jl

    But on other hand, maybe that clip is real, not a DougJ spoof, and is actually serious and not a NY Times spoof, even if it is, in fact, not a DougJ spoof..

    this this just popped up on Daily Kos as I finished last comment:

    WaPo fact checker weighs in on the following statements:

    “As I’ve said, Social Security is not the primary driver of our long-term deficits and debt.”

    President Obama, July 11, 2011

    “Social Security has never contributed a dime to the nation’s $14.3 trillion debt…not one penny to our federal budget deficit this year or any year in our nation’s history.”

    Rep. Xavier Becerra (D-Calif.). July 8, 2011

    Fact checker’s conclusion:

    ” We are going to label this with that relatively rare rating: “true but false.”

    Tue Jul 12, 2011 at 07:15 PM PDT.
    WaPo fact checker: It’s a ‘meaningless’ fact that Social Security doesn’t contribute to the deficit
    by Joan McCarter.


    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/07/12/993825/-WaPo-fact-checker:-Its-a-meaningless-fact-that-Social-Security-doesnt-contribute-to-the-deficit

    Edit: Thanks, AAABonds, I believe you.
    Wouldn’t believe DougJ particularly (take that… you… you.. mathematician!)

  28. 28.

    arguingwithsignposts

    calculating that some level of turmoil caused by a federal default might be what it takes to give them the chance to right the nation’s fiscal ship.

    What’s another word for “calculating” that means whistling past the economic graveyard while praying to Free Market Jesus?

  29. 29.

    beltane

    @AAA Bonds

    Yes, it does seem like the Republican plan is to destroy the USA in order to strengthen the GOP. Fifth column indeed.

  30. 30.

    AAA Bonds

    A turf war in the board room! Oooh, they love this in the cheap seats! No they fucking don’t you shitheels

  31. 31.

    burnspbesq

    It’s true, Republicans do want to fix the economy. They want to fix it so that it fucks everyone except those at the apex of a very thin pyramid.

  32. 32.

    Davis X. Machina

    @beltane:

    Yes, it does seem like the Republican plan is to destroy the USA in order to strengthen the GOP.

    The Party will, nay must, outlast the State, because the Party is the Vanguard of the Revolution, upon the success of which the State will wither away.

    All power to the soviets of preachers and hedge-fund managers!

    The GOP – the last major Leninist political party in the West.

  33. 33.

    Citizen_X

    There is nothing wrong with this airliner that a gunfight in the cockpit won’t solve.

  35. 35.

    AAA Bonds

    @beltane:

    One month after Obama’s inauguration, Pete Sessions, head of the National Republican Congressional Committee, publicly announced a strategy of “Taliban-style insurgency”.

    This would be that.

  38. 38.

    jl

    For Californians who pass by, saw a map of the proposed ‘South California’ on front page of Times.

    Lord, that ain’t going to fly. Looks like somebody wants Sand Diego, and maybe Palm Springs, to finance all the poor counties south of Tehachapi and east of Sierras below Tahoe.

    Not a good idea.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/13/us/13secession.html?hp

    I’m surprised it lasted long enough to get a story in the the NY Times. But it will be damn near rock solid GOP. Maybe the teabaggers will get behind it. They need a new crusade.

  39. 39.

    dougw

    As usual, what a crock of shit… Republicans will go nuclear rather than not get every single thing they want.

    Sadly for them, the country isn’t totally blind.

  40. 40.

    AAA Bonds

    Does anyone else think these constant Ghostbusters references are a lot of nervous whistling in the dark for a country that might not survive the loss of government workers’ spending power?

  41. 41.

    Davis X. Machina

    @AAA Bonds:

    …in my choice
    To reign is worth ambition, though in hell:
    Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven. Paradise Lost. 1.261.

  42. 42.

    jl

    @36 tomvox1: But the conclusion “true but false” is a thing of spare and sublime beauty for a ‘fact checker’, ain’t it?

    That is top form at some kind of game.

  43. 43.

    AAA Bonds

    David X. Machina, you’re going to have to tell me which comment you’re reading that way in this thread where I have not spoken once against the Democrats

  44. 44.

    scav

    Citizen_X:

    There is nothing wrong with this airliner that a gunfight in the cockpit won’t solve.

    That second amendment solution is pretty potent. Will always cure what ails ya.

    “Take two second amendments and call me in the morning.”

    Well, either that or they now think the only possible definition of “fix” is exactly equivalent to that of “spayed”.

  45. 45.

    Davis X. Machina

    @AAA Bonds: I think rather that Boehner and Co. fancy (or fear) themselves to be leading forces quite content with playing the Satan-in-Milton role…

  46. 46.

    AAA Bonds

    I think even most business-friendly Democrats (and I am trying very very hard to use my nice words) understand the higher implications of even a perceived national crisis at this point in the curve for unemployment.

    I am not sure if the Republicans quoted in this story do, and if they do, that’s genuinely frightening.

  47. 47.

    Suffern ACE

    @jl: Meh. As the article says, the proposal to split up CA has in one form or another popped up 200 times.

  50. 50.

    JCT

    @Suffern Ace 47

    Hah — the SoCal / NorCal divide has been around forever. I grew up in LA and when I went off to college in NorCal I was amazed at all of the antipathy and “we should cut them off” sentiment as I had always loved SF. Well, maybe not the Giants.

  52. 52.

    James E. Powell

    @Lolis:

    Not sure why the media lets Republicans get away with the claim that they are the ones to right the fiscal ship after the last decade.

    The corporate press/media let the Republicans get away with that lie, along with many others, because both the party and the press/media are owned by, and serve the interests of, the same ruling class.

    This has been fairly obvious for a few decades.

  53. 53.

    Spaghetti Lee

    I’ve been looking at some Wisconsin-based blogs, and it looks like all 6 real Democrats won their primaries and beat the fake ones. That’s a relief.

  54. 54.

    Mark S.

    I was looking at Mitch’s plan that he wrote on the back of a cocktail napkin and I think Obama should take it:

    The plan would require Congress to pass a bill allowing Obama to raise the debt limit on his own, contingent on a series of steps: Obama would have to notify Congress of his intent tor raise the debt limit — a high-sign to Congress that would be subject to an official censure known as a “resolution of disapproval,” and which Obama could veto. If he vetoed the resolution, and if Congress sustained the veto, then Obama would also have to outline a series of hypothetical spending cuts he’d make, equal to the amount of new debt authority he’d give himself. Only then would the Treasury be allowed to issue new debt.

    One, I doubt the goopers could override a veto, and two, I don’t think the last part is constitutional. Why not take it?

  55. 55.

    Citizen_X

    You scoff, but the (grim) fact is they did all right in the turmoil caused by a major terrorist attack…

  60. 60.

    AAA Bonds

    The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill just lost a fifth of its budget and the Republicans rolled out their new plan for legislative districts today.

  61. 61.

    Martin

    One, I doubt the goopers could override a veto, and two, I don’t think the last part is constitutional. Why not take it?

    Because I think they’d just claim that Congress cannot divest itself of a Constitutional authority, therefore Obama violated the Constitution, and start impeachment hearings in the House.

  63. 63.

    Mike in NC

    @AAA Bonds

    The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill just lost a fifth of its budget and the Republicans rolled out their new plan for legislative districts today.

    The NC GOP is merely anticipating President Bachmann’s abolition of the minimum wage, which will lead to full employment! Why bother with that fancy college stuff when there are thousands of jobs waiting?

  64. 64.

    Martin

    I was thinking more that it looks like a legislative veto.

    I don’t see how Obama is going to take it. It’s chickenshit. And Boehner’s assertion that there’s no deal that can pass the House is bullshit, too. There’s no plan that can pass without Democratic help, but a clean bill would get all but 26 votes needed out of the Dems, and there are enough Republicans going home to redrawn districts with Obama pulling in Democratic voters to get those other 26.

    Obama’s got momentum here. He’s going to steamroll these guys. From WaPo:

    Cantor, who is advocating a smaller deal, at one point demanded that Obama offer the details of his vision for a “grand bargain.”
    __
    “Where’s your paper?” he asked angrily.
    __
    Obama snapped back: “Frankly, your speaker has it. Am I dealing with him, or am I dealing with you?”

    He’s not going to back off now.

  65. 65.

    Martin

    Both the University of California and Cal State Systems received a 20%+ cut as well. UC is getting barely 10% of their funding from the state. Not much point holding onto public status at that stage.

  66. 66.

    burnspbesq

    @AAA Bonds:

    The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill just lost a fifth of its budget

    As a confirmed Dookie, it’s hard for me to get upset about this. It’s easily fixed: drop football, which is doing nothing but damaging the Tarheel brand these days.

  68. 68.

    Suffern ACE

    If you were planning to be a Golden Gopher this fall, will the university be open?

  69. 69.

    Dennis SGMM

    @Martin

    This year the Assembly cut $650 million in funding to the CSU system. Last November the University trustees passed a 10% fee increase to make up for last year’s funding cuts and they just passed a further 12% fee increase to make up for the additional lost funding. These two increases will bring tuition for undergrads to $5472 per year – not including campus fees.

    To top it off, Assembly Republicans floated a proposal this year to amend the state’s constitution to give the Assembly oversight of the day to day operations of the UCs.

  71. 71.

    RalfW

    AAA Bonds @24

    Good g_d, these fuckwads have been in office over a year and don’t understand how the gubmit pays bills? I presume that Rep Allen West (R-swamp) last worked as a towel washer at a drive-thru carwash joint. Otherwise I’m not sure how he paid his rent. Moran is too kind for this utter dolt.

  72. 72.

    Dennis SGMM

    I guess that ACORN and George Soros must have foiled the Republicans’ airtight plan for righting the ship of state during the six years that they had Congressional majorities and a veto-averse Republican in the White House.

  73. 73.

    RalfW

    Martin @64

    Sometimes Chait can’t think his way out of a paper bag.

    Does he not get that Obama is playing up the rancor/leadership split within the GOP? Or is he being coy. I think the former. Which is pretty damn lame.

    But not as lame as making me buy 20 ishews of their paper to be able to tell Chait that directly.

  74. 74.

    Suffern ACE

    @RalfW: Oh good lord. So for all his “its important that I be there” crap, Cantor shows up to the meeting without having read the materials, and what? Expects all parties to wait while he reads up on the current state of negotiations? Well his vote is sacrifice enough.

  75. 75.

    Martin

    To top it off, Assembly Republicans floated a proposal this year to amend the state’s constitution to give the Assembly oversight of the day to day operations of the UCs.

    I wonder whose specific ass they were told to shove that idea up. Not gonna happen. Kiss the natl labs goodbye, most of the big federal grant programs, and probably the top 10 public university status for the 5 UCs on that short list (with one more at #11).

    I think it’s inevitable, barring a full-on 2/3 Dem majority in both chambers for a number of years, that the UC will go at least semi-private before my kids head off to college.

  77. 77.

    cleek

    NPR’s playing that game, too. they announce their coverage as being about “the ongoing deficit talks”, even as they talk about the debt limit negotiations. and it’s always “the GOP wants to cut entitlements, but the Democrats want to raise taxes”. never a discussion of why the Dems want to raise taxes, only that they want to and it’s what keeps the two parties from reaching a deal on the debt limit.

    it’s like they want to talk about the deficit when the story is about the GOP wanting to cut spending, but then when it’s time to talk about the debt limit, it’s the Dems tax increases that kill the deal. there’s serious disconnect between the two parts of their coverage, and it just happens to make the GOP look better.

    of course.

  78. 78.

    lol

    Quick summary of what happened:

    GOP decides to have a manliness contest with Obama. In years past, this simply involved feats of strength and whatnot. (Nancy Pelosi beat them last year.) This year, the teatards have a new game: Russian Roulette.

    They’ve got a gun trained on everyone and they’re daring/threatening Obama to play or he’s a pussy and they’ll just shoot him anyways. And the Very Serious People in the crowd think that Presidents can’t be considered true leaders unless they’ve tried and failed to kill themselves at some point.

    Finally, Obama says “If we’re going to do this, let’s do this right. 1 in 6 is hardly even odds. Let’s add two bullets. You get to go first.”

    Now, some people in the wings are saying “Hey, this is going a little too far”, but the teatards are still screaming “Pull the trigger you pussy!”

    Obama then says “Three empty chambers for two people? Hardly fair. I’ll add another bullet. Here you go.”

    At this point, the GOP realizes playtime is over and offers to settle this with a nice game of Parcheesi.

    What’s Obama’s next move going to be?

    Should he say “Parcheesi sounds great”?

    Or should he say “Two more bullets. Now pull the trigger”?

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